The Funeral for Pippin Took

[Wonko The Sane]

A somber afternoon in The Shire, Wonks gathers near the Took homestead in Tuckburough to mourn the parting of the beloved Pippin Took.

Her long black gown, and black cloak a sway in the breeze, as she stands out on the moors watching from afar as the visitors pour into the Took homstead. She stands on the hill, coweled hood hiding her face as she dabs a black handkercheif against her eyes and silently says goodbye to her close friend Pippin.

She watches the visitors arrive. Waiting for Pippin's friends to gather before approaching them.

[omnipotent_elf]

*one solitary elf, dressed in black, appears by the coffin*

*he begins crying, then runs of shouting "i'll miss u dude"*



*****more sobs*****

[Aulë]

Aulë the Valar walked up to Wonks with a grin on his face.
"You need not worry Wonks, I'm sure that he is having the time of his life in the Halls of Mandos."

[omnipotent_elf]

*comes up to aule*

WOAH, Pip had a twin?????

[Wonko The Sane]

Wonks nodded dumbly, unable to speak as Aule strode off towards the gathering inside the Took's garden. She remainedon the moors, standing perfectly still as the wind whipped her dress and cloak out behind her, blowing her hood back and sending her raven hair dancing about her pale, saddened face. She pressed the palm of one hand to the black nightstone suspended against her forehead by a thin filament of mithril and she murmured some Sindarin words of lamentation.

[legolasismine]

Adlyn,an elf woman soon arrived on the scene dressed in a black long dress and her hair was tied together with black strings(which totally clashes with her style)and she sat down in a chair patiently waiting for the cerimonies to begin and as she waited she blew her nose on a tissue she had and tried to hold back her tears but couldn't so she pulled her vail over her face.

[Wonko The Sane]

From her perch on the hill Arianne saw Adlyn enter and thought Those ties in her tair totally clash with her style... then she thought of Pippin, who always clashed with his style, and tears sprang anew to her face.

[legolasismine]

Adlyn looked up and saw Arianne crying and got up from her seat and went up to the perch to comfort her.
"There there Arianne,I missed him too its alright"
She said patting her on the back with sympathy.

[omnipotent_elf]

*falls over i shock*
*soon recovers and asks "what are we doing here wonks?"*

[Eledhwen]

Meanwhile, at the cemetery, a van marked "Flowers in Profusion" screetches to a halt outside the cemetery gates. The window winds down, and Gareth Gates singing "Spirit in the Sky" blares out as, out of the window, a bunch of daffodils and grape hyacinths fly through the air and land on P_T's grave site. The van clunks into gear, tyres squealing, tears off down the lane and disappears into its own exhaust fumes.

[tookish-girl]

As a member of Pippin's kin, one of the Tooks of Tookland, tookish steps forward to read a specially prepared statement.

"Dear friends, hobbits, elfs, dwarves, God-like blacksmiths, our friend Pippin is no more"

*sobs*

"His cheery smile, his love of Rage Against the Machine, his ability to go on about cricket when none of us understand the game, but were too polite to say so..."

*everyone nods*

"It's important to remember that he isn't actually dead and is standing with us today"

*Aule nods gravely*

"And because of this I think that we should give Pippin a decent send -off and then have some form of celebratary drinkie for our new Valar friend,
one for me and one for my homies. Thankyou."

*tookish, deeply overcome, has to be helped to the nearest pub to compose herself*

[legolasismine]

Adlyn begins to sob and weep, but slowly brings herself to make a statement.

"When I first met Pippin I saw that he was just a wonderful hobbit and loyal friend, and I'm pleased and honered to say I was a friend of his, and when I learned that he had passed it shook me terribly, because I started to remember how funny he was and carefree and a great joy to be around."

"But friends familiy members and aquaintences, we must not think on his death, but on a lighter note,what he mean't to us, which was a great deal, thank you"

Then Adlyn walked back down and sat in her seat softly patting her eyes with her tissue.

[Eledhwen]

Originally posted by tookish-girl
As a member of Pippin's kin, one of the Tooks of Tookland, tookish steps forward to read a specially prepared statement.

"Dear friends, hobbits, elfs, dwarves, God-like blacksmiths, our friend Pippin is no more"

*sobs*

"His cheery smile, his love of Rage Against the Machine, his ability to go on about cricket when none of us understand the game, but were too polite to say so..."

*everyone nods*

"It's important to remember that he isn't actually dead and is standing with us today"

*Aule nods gravely*

"And because of this I think that we should give Pippin a decent send -off and then have some form of celebratary drinkie for our new Valar friend,
one for me and one for my homies. Thankyou."

*tookish, deeply overcome, has to be helped to the nearest pub to compose herself* Here, Tookish girl, blow your nose on this....

[legoman]

*legoman arrives*
black black black
I brought the myhrr
black black black
coffin
black black black

[Bergile]

A mysterious, drunken vagrant stumbles out of some local woods towards the buffet. Taking advantage of the free food, he takes a handfull of cocktail sausages before retiring under the table. Minutes later he returns to vomit into a bush then promtly collapses on the ground.
The small gathering turns around to look. A call is heard.
"Oi, who invited Gandalf?!"

[Aredhel]

*She walks into the ceremonies a bit late. She sneaks around to the back*

[Lifeling]

Although he didn't know Pippin_Took very well, the passing of a took is always very difficult... And he was so young... Curse the god's who let this happen... curse the god who made it happen... (That evil caniving treacherous disgusting metalsmith god)... Lifeling places some flowers on Pips grave, and then goes to mourn and to think on this great loss.

[Bergile]

Ahh yes. The passing of a good friend(vague aquaintance) is always hard. Luckily Bobo the clown (funeral specialist) was on hand to keep everyone laughing through their pain. Or at least disgruntled and bemused. It's the way Pippin would have wanted it.
Who'd have thought that one little hobbits sad passing would bring so many from everywhere. Men, elves, dwarves, it cost a hell of a lot in catering. And it was difficult to fit everyone in the Shire Working Hobbits Gentleman club hall.
It's a good thing the ents didn't come along.

[legolasismine]

When Adlyn got up from her seat to go over to the food table, she reached for the cabbage, and then jerked her hand back in rememberance of how Pippin always stoll cabbages from Farmer Maggots crops all the time, and she burts into tears, and runs into the reception tents.

[Thomas Baggins]

Aravorn pops up out of nowhere and starts beating on Aule "you evil evil evil Valar,I'm gonna sue you for taking away everybody's friend AAAAArrrrggghh!!!":D He stops stright away when he realises who he's beating on. " most sorry my .............................. stupid! mean! cruel!............................................ ..................lord.;)

[Liat_ravensong]

A hobbit runs in her face is red from running & crying " i'm not late am i?"

[tookish-girl]

*Tookish comes back from the pub,*

Don't worry, Liat_ravensong, you haven't missed anything, he's still dead.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Seeing the funeral drawing to a close Wonks descends from the hill, her gown and hair still blowing in the wind in a very dramatic and mysterious Wuthering Heights sort of way. She and the other pallbearers grab a handle on the casket and take it to the lift where it can be lowered into the grave. Then Wonks opens the lid and they find the casket empty.*

Since Pip isn't really dead...only all trasnmogrified into some boring Valar...*coughs*
Sorry..not funeral appropriate language is it?

Since Pip is still amongst the living in the Middle-Earthly figure of one of our righteous Valar we must pay tribute to the negated hobbit by filling this coffin with things he enjoyed in life.

I will begin.

To the coffin I add a pint. *She pulls a pint from her magic pockets and raises it to the sky in a silent toast and then kisses the side of the glass before placing it in the coffin, being careful not to spill it.*

I also add a cricket bat. *She pulls the cricket bat from out of her pocket and raises it to to the sky for all to see, then after kissing it she places it in the coffin as well.*

I now invite you all to place memories of Pippin_Took into this coffin.

And after that we can have our party.

(P.S.- Eledhwen, that cricket rule sheet actually made a bit of sense. It sounded sort of like the rules for baseball...*scratches her head*)

[legolasismine]

Adlyn steps over the coffin and puts in some carrots and cabbages, and then slowly back away and sits in her seat, where she continued to blubber and cry, as she watched all th other people putting in some things special too Pippin_Took.

Then patiently she waited for everyone to finish and the party to begin.

[Aulë]

(Wonks- Americans altered the rules of cricket to create baseball. They did so because their brains couldn't handle the complexities of cricket.)

Aulë walked up to the coffins, skulled the pint, ate the cabbages and carrots, then picked up the cricket bat and a conveniantly placed tennis ball.

"Who's up for a spot of cricket," he yelled.

[legoman]

oooh, I am!!!!

Can I bowl, I was always better at bowling then batting! please!!! Not that I was bad at batting, just that my manager didn't like putting me in anywhere above 9th man. But then he never liked me anyway. haha.

[Aulë]

"Yep, I'll bat," responded Aulë whilst dragging out two bins to the middle of the field to serve as stumps, "You a spinner or a pace bowler? And we'll need some more players."

[Bergile]

Ooh, can i be the person who looks after the jumpers?

[Thomas Baggins]

Well since this has turned into a game of Cricket I geuss I'll jolly well leave, not being much good at the sport. Cya'll later

[legolasismine]

"Ooooo I'll play!"
She said as she jumped up from her seat excitedly, she hopped over to the group, and stood around as everyone was given a postion.
"Wait how d'you play?"

[legoman]

Well I can do either, but if I bowl pace its not usually that fast, but I do tend to put a bit of swing on it. Though I prefere spin so I'll go for right arm over the wicket off-spin. when you're ready... do we have an umpire, is that what Bergile volunteered for?

I believe Pippen is the best for explaining the rules, its bascially hit and catch - I'm gonna chuck the ball at him, he's gonna try and hit it - he proabably will then you have to try to catch it, if you do woohoo, he's out, if not throw it to whoever is nearer the stumps at the time, they'll do the rest.

[Wonko The Sane]

"I'm going to do the catching bit!!" Arianne shouted, and then she slipped into Pippen's house and changed into her black leather.

"Greater mobility" she grinned. She then went to stand out near the bins and try to catch things.

[Bergile]

Well, i just wanted to hold the jumpers, but if that involves umpiring then whatever

[Wonko The Sane]

What does uphill yarding mean?

[legoman]

not sure, did you just make it up?

you know, I'm afraid you can't play cricket in black leather, you need to wear white 'flannels'. So I'm afraid we're gonna have to wait till wonko's got changed before we ca start.

[Beleg]

Punter gets in. He sees the crowd cheering and people getting ready for a cricket match. He shrieks with delight and bouncing madly runs upto the pitch, where the Bowler is standing impatiently and haughty looking, proud feeling batsman is standing pompously. The batsman looks suspiciously like one of his own rivals.
Punter turns towards the bowler,

"I'll hold the gloves, try to make him play on the front foot so that he might try to play outside the crease and gets stumped."
Throwing a dirty look towards the direction of the batsman, Punter waits for the answer.

[Aulë]

Aulë wondered how Ricky Ponting got on Middle Earth, but continued anyway.

"OK, I shall bat," he smiled, "And Legoman can bowl. Legolasismine and Wonks will field, whilst Ricky is wicketkeeping. Bergile is the umpire."

Aulë stood at the strikers end and stood facing Legoman, who was marking out his run up. He tapped the bat on the ground in anticipation, and eyed off the field. Wonks (who had found some white flannels to wear over her leather) was standing at about cover, and Legolasismine was at mid-wicket.

"Ready when you are, Legoman," he grinned.


OOC: We still need a few more fielders. And if you're not up to the task, you can be in the crowd, or invent yourself a job, such as making tea and scones for the lunch break. :)

[legoman]

ooh tea and scones would be lovely. But what about a break orange juice?

anyway...

*Legoman runs up to bowl, well actually since he's bowling medium speed spin he doesn' really run, but the umpire has announced 'right arm over' so he is indeed approching the wicket...
He bowls a lovely gliding ball to slightly wide of the off stump. It spins visciously towards the batsmans legs...*

[AudraBaggins]

*runs over to the coffin* why man!!! why!!! why did it have to be you???? how come it wasn't that stupid, ugly, very fat, wanna by Sam!! Darn you, Sam!!! *kicks Sam in the groin* Now see what you have done!!!!!

[Aulë]

Aulë clips the delivery off his pads along the ground to the leg side, straight at Legolasismine at mid wicket. Legolasismine runs in and cleany picks up the ball and throws the ball to Ricky, but not before Aulë runs through for a quick single.

[legoman]

'oooh nice'
*theres a yell from behind the stumps 'well bowled Lego' (in an australian accent of course...)*

*Legoman retraces his run up while the new batsman takes his stance...*

(who is the new batsman??? we need a sencond!)

[AudraBaggins]

Hey, I have an idea!!! *grabs Pippin's body from the coffin and waves his arms in the air* Hey!! Can I play, too??? What are you guys playing???? *Waves his arms again*

[AudraBaggins]

now look what you guys made me do!!! make me look like an <Removed by Beorn>!!!!! *go over and sits next to the drunken Gandalf*

[Bergile]

Bergile gets bored and decides to re-apply bright yellow sun-block. Sheesh these jumpers are heavy, and it's such a darned hot day.


Whats with Audra Baggins?

[Wonko The Sane]

I think Audra has been dipping into the Brandybuck's private Wine Cellar again. ;)

*smooths her white flannels over her black leather and admires herself immensely.*

Ooh...breathable.

*is totally lost and gets hit in the head with something or other.*

[legoman]

so who is the other batsman. We've been here a while and we have no second batsman and we havent had a drinks break, and rain hasn't stopped play, and the australian hasn't got a century yet. This just doesn't seem like real cricket to me.

[Aulë]

Hmmm, good idea- lets have a drinks break.
Sure, there's only been one ball bowled, but this is Middle Earth cricket, so we're allowed.

Aulë flicks off the stumps, since the umpire has fallen asleep.

"And that will be drinks," he announced.

The players then walked over to a drinks stand, which it choccas full of Heinekens and Fosters.

[legoman]

Thats some poor choice of beer!

*legoman brings out another tray full of La Chouffe*

Thats better.

[Aulë]

C'mon- I had to pay for it.
Almighty Valar people can't make money grow on trees you know...
(Well, Yavanna probably could- but she spends it all at the local fashion mall...)

"Where's the scones???" Aulë yelled, "We can't have beer without scones!"

[Bergile]

I wasn't asleep, i was..er.. testing the ground for..um..sponginess. Anyway, *brings selections of scones*, err.. do you put the cream or the jam on first?

[legoman]

jam first.

Then loads of cream so when you try to eat it, it either falls off or you get covered in it. Thats the only way to eat scones.