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Maedhros
08-25-2003, 03:39 AM
Húrin going to Nargothrond

§ 1 {Of the wanderings of Húrin there is no tale told , until he came at last late in this year to Nargothrond}. It is said that he had then gathered to him other fugitives and masterless men in the wild, and came south with a following of a hundred or more. But why it was that he went to Nargothrond is uncertain, save that so his doom and the fate of the Jewels led him. Some have said that maybe he knew not that Glaurung was dead, and hoped in his heart distraught to take vengeance on this evil thing - for Morgoth would conceal the death of Glaurung, if he could, both because the loss was a grief to him and a hurt to his pride, and because (from Húrin especially) he would conceal all that was most valiant or successful of Túrin's deeds. Yet this can scarce be so, since the death of Glaurung was so bound up with the death of his children and revelation of their evil case; while the rumour of the assault of Glaurung upon Brethil went far and wide. Certainly Morgoth fenced men in Hithlum, as he was able, and little news came to them of events in other lands; but so soon as Húrin passed southward or met any wanderers in the wild he would hear tidings of the battle in the ravine of Taeglin.

§ 2 QS77*/[[Húrin and his band crossed] over Taeglin and passed southwards down the ancient road that led to Nargothrond; and he saw far off to the eastward the lonely height of Amon Rûdh, and knew what had befallen there. At length he came to the banks of Narog, and ventured the passage of the wild river upon the fallen stones of the bridge, as Mablung of Doriath had ventured it before him; and he stood before the broken Doors of Felagund, leaning upon his staff.]

§ 3 [Here it must be told that after the departure of Glaurung Mîm the Petty-Dwarf had found his way to Nargothrond, and crept within the ruined halls; and he took possession of them, and sat there fingering the gold and the gems, letting them run ever through his hands, for none came nigh to despoil him, from dread of the spirit of Glaurung and his very memory. But now {one} [Húrin and his band] had come, and stood upon the threshold; and Mîm came forth, and demanded to know {his} [their] purpose. But Húrin said: 'Who are you, that would hinder {me} [us] from entering the house of Finrod Felagund?'

§ 4 Then the Dwarf answered: 'I am Mîm; and before the proud ones came from over the Sea, Dwarves delved the halls of Nulukkizdîn. I have but returned to take what is mine; for I am the last of my people.'

§ 5 'Then you shall enjoy your inheritance no longer,' said Húrin; 'for I am Húrin son of Galdor, returned out of Angband, and my son was Túrin Turambar, whom you have not forgotten; and he it was that slew Glaurung the Dragon, who wasted these halls where now you sit; and not unknown is it to me by whom the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin was betrayed.'

§ 6 Then Mîm in great fear besought Húrin [and his men] to take what {he} [they] would, but to spare his life; but Húrin gave no heed to his prayer, and slew him there before the doors of Nargothrond. TT/[But Mîm dying said unto Húrin: “Now Elves and Men shall rue this deed, and because of the death of Mîm the dwarf shall death follow this gold so long as it remain on Earth, and a like fate shall every part and portion share with the whole.” And Húrin shuddered, but his folk laughed.]/

§ 7 QS77**/ Then {he} [they] entered in, and stayed a while in that dreadful place, where the treasures of Valinor lay strewn upon the floors in darkness and decay{; but it is told that when Húrin came forth from the wreck of Nargothrond and stood again beneath the sky he bore with him out of all that great hoard but one thing only}.]/

§ 8 TT**/ Now Húrin caused his followers to bear this gold to the halls of Thingol, and they murmured at that, but he said: "Are ye become as the drakes of Morgoth, that would lie and wallow in gold and seek no other joy? A sweeter life shall ye have in the court of that king of greed, an ye bear such treasury to him, than all the gold of Valinor can get you in the empty woods."

§ 9 Now his heart was bitter against Thingol, and he desired to have a vengeance on him, as may be seen. So great was that hoard that great though Húrin's company might be scarce could they bear it to the caves of Thingol the king, and some 'tis said was left behind and some was lost upon the way, and evil has followed its finders for ever.

§ 10 Yet in the end that laden host came to the bridge before the doors, and being asked by the guards Húrin said: “Say to the king that Húrin the Steadfast is come bearing gifts,” and this was done. Then Húrin let bear all that magnificence before the king, but it was hidden in sacks or shut in boxes of rough wood; and Thingol greeted Húrin with joy and with amaze and bid him thrice welcome, and he and all his court arose in honour of that lord of Men; but Húrin's heart was blind by reason of his tormented years and of the lies of Morgoth, and he said: “Nay, O King, I do not desire to hear such words -- but say only, where is Morwen my wife, and knowest thou what death did Nienor my daughter die?” And Thingol said that he knew not.

§ 11 Then did Húrin fiercely tell that tale, and the king and all his folk about him hid their faces for great ruth, but Húrin said: “Nay, had you such a heart as have the least of Men, never would they have been lost; but lo, I bring you now a payment in full for the troubles of your puny band that went against Glaurung the drake, and deserting gave up my dear ones to his power. Gaze, O Thingol, sweetly on my gifts, for methinks the lustre of gold is all your heart contains.”

§ 12 Then did men cast down that treasury at the king's feet, uncovering it so that all that court were dazzled and amazed – but Húrin's men understood now what was forward and were little pleased. “Behold the hoard of Glaurung,” said Húrin “bought by the death of Nienor with the blood of Túrin slayer of the worm. Take it, O craven king, and be glad that some Men be brave to win thee riches.”

§ 13 'Receive thou thy fee,' he cried, 'for thy fair keeping of my children and my wife! {For this is the {Nauglamír, whose name is known to many among Elves and Men;} [The treasure of Felagund] and I bring it to thee out of the darkness of Nargothrond, where Finrod thy kinsman left it behind him when he set forth with Beren son of Barahir to fulfil the errand of Thingol of Doriath!'

§ 14 Then Thingol looked upon the great treasure{, and knew it for the Nauglamír} , and well did he understand Húrin's intent; but being filled with pity he restrained his wrath, and endured Húrin's scorn.].

§ 15 [And at the last Melian spoke, and said: 'Húrin Thalion, Morgoth hath bewitched thee; for he that seeth through Morgoth's eyes, willing or unwilling, seeth all things crooked. Long was Túrin thy son fostered in the halls of Menegroth, and shown love and honour as the son of the King; and it was not by the King's will nor by mine that he came never back to Doriath. And afterwards thy wife and thy daughter were harboured here with honour and goodwill; and we sought by all means that we might to dissuade Morwen from the road to Nargothrond. With the voice of Morgoth thou dost now upbraid thy friends.'

§ 16 And hearing the words of Melian Húrin stood moveless, and then he turned away, and passed out from the Thousand Caves, and all that saw him fell back before his face; and none sought to withstand his going, nor did any know whither he went. TT**/[Yet it is said that stricken in years he reached Hithlum and died among Men and that his shade fared into the woods seeking Morwen, and long those twain haunted the woods about the fall of {Silver Bowl} [Dimbar] bewailing their children.]/ {But it is said that Húrin would not live thereafter, being bereft of all purpose and desire, and cast himself at last into the western sea;} and so ended the mightiest of the warriors of mortal Men.]

Maedhros
08-25-2003, 03:41 AM
Notes:
[] Material to be added.
{} Material to be deleted.
The first part of the narrative refers to the Wanderings of Húrin.
QS77 refers to the Quenta Silmarillion of 77.
TT refers to the Tale of Turambar.

Structural changes:
We reintroduce the outlaws which were omitted from the QS77.
It is the outlaws that bring the gold back to Menegroth and not Thingol's people as in the Tale.
The Nauglamír as a treasure of Finrod Felagund was an editorial alteration made by CT, which I removed here.
We have retained the cursing of the gold by Mîm and also the fact that in the Tale Mîm was already there, now as in the Narn, he comes from elsewhere.
The lifting of the spell of Húrin by Melian is deleted because I can see no trace of that in previous Tolkien's works.

Gothmog
08-30-2003, 11:58 PM
I am sorry that it has taken me so long to post on this. But here are my first thoughts. I have used bold to indicate aditional changes I propose.

§ 1 {Of the wanderings of Húrin there is no tale told , until he came at last late in this year to Nargothrond}. It is said that {he}[Húrin] had then gathered to him other fugitives and masterless men in the wild, and came south with a following of a hundred or more. But why it was that he went to Nargothrond is uncertain, save that so his doom and the fate of the Jewels led him. Some have said that maybe he knew not that Glaurung was dead, and hoped in his heart distraught to take vengeance on this evil thing - for Morgoth would conceal the death of Glaurung, if he could, both because the loss was a grief to him and a hurt to his pride, and because (from Húrin especially) he would conceal all that was most valiant or successful of Túrin's deeds. Yet this can scarce be so, since the death of Glaurung was so bound up with the death of his children and revelation of their evil case; while the rumour of the assault of Glaurung upon Brethil went far and wide. Certainly Morgoth fenced men in Hithlum, as he was able, and little news came to them of events in other lands; but so soon as Húrin passed southward or met any wanderers in the wild he would hear tidings of the battle in the ravine of Taeglin.

I think that it reads better using Húrin’s name in what will become the first sentence of this paragraph as was the case with the original first sentence.



§ 3 [Here it must be told that after the departure of Glaurung Mîm the Petty-Dwarf had found his way to Nargothrond, and crept within the ruined halls; and he took possession of them, and sat there fingering the gold and the gems, letting them run ever through his hands, for none came nigh to despoil him, from dread of the spirit of Glaurung and his very memory. But now {one} [Húrin and his band] had come, and stood upon the threshold; and Mîm came forth, and demanded to know {his} [their] purpose. But Húrin said: 'Who are you, that would hinder {me} [us] from entering the house of Finrod Felagund?'

I am not sure that the singular should be changed to plural in the talk between Húrin and Mim. It is just as likely that Húrin would have spoken of what he felt to be his right to enter Nargothrond based on his service to Finrod’s kinsman Turgon and also on his son having killed Glaurung. The rest would have been simply accompanying him. I am still looking into this.

Over all I think this is well done so far. I agree with Melian’s removal of the curse being deleted. Or at least the overt statement about it.

I will continue to check the books on this and bring any comments back here.

Nóm
10-12-2003, 12:57 PM
How is it coming along, Maedhros?

twain is not used in published Silmarillion, and I do not recall this archaic word in any later writings but correct me if I am wrong? Perhaps it should be changed in § 16/ made as general change?

Methinks in §11 needs to go.


§ 12 Then did men cast down that treasury at the king's feet, uncovering it so that all that court were dazzled and amazed – but Húrin's men understood now what was forward and were little pleased. “Behold the hoard of Glaurung,” said Húrin “bought by the death of Nienor with the blood of Túrin slayer of the worm. Take it, O craven king, and be glad that some Men be brave to win thee riches.”

§ 13 'Receive thou thy fee,' he cried, 'for thy fair keeping of my children and my wife!


I suggest this would sound better if the last sentence of § 12 were omitted.

Perhaps you could still leave the 'o craven king' though? ;)

I agree with Gothmog about 'us' to 'me'... though 'us' does not seem blatantly wrong.

Maedhros
10-13-2003, 06:46 AM
There is absolutely no doubt that in the writtings of the Tale of Turambar and the Tale of the Nauglafring, the style of it is not the same as the later writtings: ex Wanderings of Húrin. You could also add to the list words such as Lo!.
I was hoping that a style review would be undertaken at the end, when the story was editorially finalized, with all of the structural changes to the story review and approved.
As for:
Take it, O craven king, and be glad that some Men be brave to win thee riches.”
§ 13 'Receive thou thy fee,' he cried, 'for thy fair keeping of my children and my wife!
I have always thought that, keeping both of those senteces was in a way repetitive, but I was hesitant to remove one of the entirely because they were such powerful statements made by Thalion the Steadfast, the Great Hero. Instead of deleting, the whole of the last sentence of parragraph 12, how about this instead:

'Receive thou thy fee, O craven king' he cried, 'for thy fair keeping of my children and my wife, and be glad that some Men {be} [are] brave [enough] to win thee riches'.

The material in the Tales seems so beautiful and is so filled with detail, that I hesitate a lot before I'm forced to remove something from it.

And as for the us - he change, I think that it works.

How is it coming along, Maedhros?

Not as fast as I would hope to. As of now, I'm revising the Wanderings of Húrin part, along with numbering the parragraphs, and while that part is very up to date if you will, there are some minor details requiring attention.
Unfortunately, I have been unable to finish my list of Revised Changes, in the Ruin.doc file that I was working on. I have not had that much free time to spend in this project lately, but I was hoping that people could kept commenting on things and improve the work as a whole.
Also, you need to remember that the draft that is posted in this site is only revision 1, but you have already my 2nd draft that I send you.