a little perspective could help

[forshadowed]

usually, i get a little poetic, but im going to be straightforward, as i think it will make more sense.

i never thought there would be a point where i wouldnt have a best friend. i mean, i was never one to have lots of friends, but i always had 1 best friend, until now. Now, it seems like when i needed them most, they've all abandoned me. One, who i lovingly called my hetero life mate, was like my second half. we dint even have to finish our sentences, we just knew. we were so close, it was like we were in each othr's heads. Then, she got a boyfriend, who was also my friend. And then, I became i second rate human being, I feel like i nothing to them, that i dont exist unless i offer some way for them to get to eachother. i feel so alone. all of my friends are new or not that close, and i miss my hetero life mate soooooooo much, but i guess she doesnt miss me, bc she acts like i dont matter, and its not just her boyfriend. there are some ppl who dont like me, and they are petty and catty, and she'll go along with them.
i never thought there would be a point where i wouldnt have a best friend. i never thought there would be a point where half of me was missing. . . .

[Kailita]

Well, you've come to the right place, forshadowed. This is a place for people who have been cut off, shunned, or outcasted in any way from all kinds of people - close friends or just the basic social groups. So don't worry, you're not alone.

I'm really sorry about your friend going off like that. :( The thing is, depending on how old you are, best friends usually last a whole lot longer than boyfriends, especially in these kinds of cases. I think once the relationship draws to a close or starts to get rough, your friend will realize just how lucky she was to have a friend like you and what a mistake it was for her to blow you off the way she did. Don't give up hope.

[Arebeth]

We're with you, forshadowed.
I know what you mean- having someone who understands you even when you don't speak- even if for me it wasn't the same problem...
As for the people, you know you're the best, you know they are just silly normal people and really you're worth more than that.
I don't completely agree with Kailita, as I don't know this girl, maybe she's just doing a mistake and she will realize it- or maybe she isn't. Maybe she has changed. People change, actually, and sometimes for the worse. Try to realize that there are a lot of great people in the world that could understand you. Friendships don't always last forever- just keep your good memories, but don't become nostalgic. Remember that this maybe what will make you stronger. At the moment my relation with the only person who can really understand me is kind of obscure because of some romantic implication (or not, I still don't know.)
And as Kai said, this is just the right place for you. We're all here for the same reason. You must be proud of who you are, only time can tell what will happen. Good luck.

[Celebthôl]

Originally posted by forshadowed
we dint even have to finish our sentences, we just knew. we were so close, it was like we were in each othr's heads.

I know exactly what you mean there, I had that and I lost it. :(
It is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, and i have no "close" friends, i learned from a young age that people, (no matter who, no matter if you knew them for ages and trusted them with your life) were still people, and would still somehow manage to hurt you, so i refused to have a best friend, i just have lots of good friends. :)
That might be a good idea, it includes a heck less lot of pain like what you are going through.
Plus you sghould never focus all your "youness" onto one person, because this happens and you dont have many friends to fall back on and hang out with etc. . .
But i dont want to come off mean here :( but would you really want a friend like that to come crawling back after shes lost her b/f? Odds are she will hurt you again. (She may not of course, but you could never fully trust her again, well i couldnt. . . )
I really wish i could help you with the you only being half there part, but i cant as i dont know the solution to it. . . Maybe keep a good look out for a replacement, but try not to get as close this time, as it could end up hurting you again.

Just my thoughts. . .

[forshadowed]

yeah, the things is, i miss her so much, but not like shes been the past month, i guess i've been missing her for awhile.... the thing is, shes not being cruel, just... indifferent. although, at this point in time i dont know which one hurts more. i guess indiffernce bc although shes hurting me, shes not doing it intentionally, so i cant fully be mad at her, but i want to be mad at her, or be mad at something. i want to get it out, i feel like screaming and crying all at the same time bc i hate having her out of my life, its like having your arm cut off, you can no longer do most of things you used to be able to do.........

thanks to Kalita, and Arebeth, and celebthol, ur support is appreciated!

[forshadowed]

its like, how do i explain how much i love her, how much she means to me when i feel like i dont even matter to her anymore? this is the only way i could think, and all i need is for her to either acknowledge that yes, i am still her best friend and that its not all about her bf, or no, she just doesnt want to be my friend anymore. i really really hope its the first...

[My_Precious]

Yes that, and also remember that you've got only ONE life to live, so don't let the teenage hormones ruin your friendships and everything you had together. And I have to say that this IS a Tolkien Forum...;)
And to forshadowed--there are a lot of good people out there, even if they seems completely different in character, they might actually be worth knowing.:)

[Carantalath]

One of my best friends got a new boyfriend one time and she only seemed interested in him for a long time. Eventually she came around and realized that she missed us and she apologized for ignoring me and my other friends. If your friend doesn't apologize, look for other people out there. The girl I called my best friend in junior high and me began to grow apart but I kept trying to pull us back together again. I just ended up getting my feelings hurt. Then, I met some new friends who were more like me and they don't let anything get in the way of our friendship. Even though you miss your friend, try to meet new people and remember that its okay not to have a best friend. A group of good friends is a lot of fun too. That's what I have, a group of good friends, so I call them all my best friends (see, this way you'll have so many best friends, you won't ever be lonely). Hope this helps a bit.

[FoolOfATook]

its like, how do i explain how much i love her, how much she means to me when i feel like i dont even matter to her anymore?

When in doubt, quote Petrarch.

From the Canzoniere:


I find no peace, and I am not at war,
I fear and hope, and burn and I am ice;
I fly above the heavens, and lie on earth,
and I grasp nothing and embrace the world.

One keeps me jailed who neither locks nor opens,
nor keeps me for her own nor frees the noose;
Love does not kill, nor does he loose my chains;
he wants me lifeless but won't loosen me.

I see with no eyes, shout without a tongue;
I yearn to perish, and I beg for help;
I hate myself and love somebody else.

I thrive on pain and laugh with all my tears;
I dislike death as much as I do life:
because of you, lady, I am this way.

Of course, quoting Petrarch is my solution to everything...:rolleyes:

[balrog]

Originally posted by forshadowed
usually, i get a little poetic, but im going to be straightforward, as i think it will make more sense.

i never thought there would be a point where i wouldnt have a best friend. i mean, i was never one to have lots of friends, but i always had 1 best friend, until now. Now, it seems like when i needed them most, they've all abandoned me. One, who i lovingly called my hetero life mate, was like my second half. we dint even have to finish our sentences, we just knew. we were so close, it was like we were in each othr's heads. Then, she got a boyfriend, who was also my friend. And then, I became i second rate human being, I feel like i nothing to them, that i dont exist unless i offer some way for them to get to eachother. i feel so alone. all of my friends are new or not that close, and i miss my hetero life mate soooooooo much, but i guess she doesnt miss me, bc she acts like i dont matter, and its not just her boyfriend. there are some ppl who dont like me, and they are petty and catty, and she'll go along with them.
i never thought there would be a point where i wouldnt have a best friend. i never thought there would be a point where half of me was missing. . . .

you were in love?

sux to be hurt like that :(

[Eledhwen]

This is the first, but it is unlikely to be the last severance you have to suffer. Life is like that; people are like that. You may be like that yourself one day, if you meet someone who can reciprocate your love, and you can think of no-one you would rather be with.

Time heals. Each wave of grief, like an abating storm, will be a little less powerful than the one before, though an occasional thought or memory may stab your heart.

Most important - forgive your friend and the other person. Your healing will be the swifter for it.