The Shame of Britain

[Snaga]

I am deeply ashamed of my country.

Why?

Last night on TV they counted down the all-time top 50 singles selling bands/artists in the UK. As we reached the top 10, there were some predictable but respectable bands up there.... it was looking good. Surely it had to be the Beatles? But no... to our eternal shame as a nation, the winner was Cliff Richard.:(:mad:

Its just too horrible....

[Ithrynluin]

I would advise you to leave the country...;)

Aqua's Barbie Girl was allegedly the second bestselling single in the UK (of the 90s) after Elton John's Candle in the Wind. Be glad that wasn't on the top ten. :D

[Nóm]

Ah, don't let it get you down too much Snaga! You're not the only who thought the Beatles should be there, or who is ashamed of his/her country! And look at this way: you have more known excellent musicians & singers than the U.S. regardless if you appreciate the right ones or not. :D


And ithyn.. speaking of music... how dare you put that song name as your title in reference to a danged cover and not the original arists! :D


ps: me dunno who this Crichard is! ;)

[Ithrynluin]

And ithyn.. speaking of music... how dare you put that song name as your title in reference to a danged cover and not the original arists! :D
Yeah, that cover is soooo much better than Pink Floyd's original. I'm sure most people would disagree, which only makes me all the more pleased! ;)

[Rangerdave]

Could be worse.
You guys could have had Rolf Harris

Anybody remember Rolf? Everybody Sing:o

There's an old Australian stockman, lying, dying,
and he gets himself up on one elbow,
and he turns to his mates,
who are gathered 'round him and he says:

Watch me wallabys feed mate.
Watch me wallabys feed.
They're a dangerous breed mate.
So watch me wallabys feed.
Altogether now!


Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.


Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
keep me cockatoo cool.
Don't go acting the fool, Curl,
just keep me cockatoo cool.
Altogether now!


Take me koala back, Jack,
take me koala back.
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac,
so take me koala back.
Altogether now!


Let me Abos go loose, Lou,
let me Abos go loose.
They're of no further use, Lou,
so let me Abos go loose.
Altogether now!

Mind me platypus duck, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Don't let him go running amok, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Altogether now!


Play your digeridoo, Blue,
play your digeridoo.
Keep playing 'til I shoot thro' Blue,
play your digerydoo.
Altogether now!


Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred,
tan me hide when I'm dead.
So we tanned his hide when he died Clyde,
And that's it hanging on the shed.
Altogether now!


RD

[Nóm]

Shucks... that's what I should have serenaded Aule with, instead of ripping off some Italian accordion guy. The song was a good idea accordion to him, but when I told him it failed all he could say was "Did ya digeridoo it right? No, you didn't! You'll have to redo it." :(

[Snaga]

Shhh... my theory is that Aule IS Rolf Harris in real life, so lets not offend him.:D

[Aulë]

Hush.

Rolf Harris is a cult hero in Australia. I remember him turning up to my school and playing that song with his wobble board when I was a young tacker. :D

[Snaga]

Here's the full list.... *cringe*

The all-time top 50

Artist Singles Sales

1 Cliff Richard 20,969,006
2 The Beatles 20,799,632
3 Elvis Presley 19,293,118
4 Madonna 14,562,856
5 Elton John 13,475,063
6 Michael Jackson 11,310,958
7 Queen 10,334,713
8 Abba 10,004,039
9 Paul McCartney 9,781,603
10 David Bowie 9,392,410
11 Rod Stewart 9,046,492
12 Rolling Stones 8,348,470
13 Kylie Minogue 7,994,130
14 Stevie Wonder 7,614,227
15 Spice Girls 7,507,213
16 Shakin' Stevens 7,108,330
17 Whitney Houston 6,993,105
18 Bee Gees 6,943,851
19 George Michael 6,819,419
20 Status Quo 6,727,822
21 Boney M 6,587,018
22 Slade 6,520,171
23 Olivia Newton John 6,493,006
24 Blondie 6,456,881
25 Boyzone 6,435,711
26 Oasis 6,225,785
27 UB40 5,997,222
28 Tom Jones 5,892,220
29 Celine Dion 5,683,264
30 The Police 5,617,175
31 Madness 5,564,459
32 Diana Ross 5,326,780
33 Wham! 5,298,431
34 Adam Ant 5,296,965
35 The Jam 5,094,055
36 Frankie Goes To Hollywood 5,008,067
37 Robbie Williams 4,973,227
38 Pet Shop Boys 4,913,655
39 Phil Collins 4,889,059
40 Wet Wet Wet 4,877,328
41 Duran Duran 4,846,531
42 The Everly Brothers 4,827,957
43 The Shadows 4,793,537
44 Westlife 4,726,116
45 Gary Glitter 4,717,834
46 Engelbert Humperdinck 4,710,328
47 U2 4,663,427
48 Bryan Adams 4,614,135
49 Frank Sinatra 4,597,630
50 The Hollies 4,597,450

[Ithrynluin]

Snags, what are those? Cumulative sales of all singles (of one artist) combined? Because I distinctly remember that the bestselling singles of the 90s in the UK were
1. Elton John - Candle in the Wind
2. Aqua - Barbie Girl
3. Cher - Believe

Shouldn't these artists (well, barring Elton John, he's up there already) at least be somewhere on the top 50?

Oh and thank you so much for sloppily copy pasting that list, I just spent the last ten minutes tidying it up. ;)

[Nóm]

...thank you so much for sloppily copy pasting that list, I just spent the last ten minutes tidying it up. ;)
Don't you have more important things to do... like cleaning up three words posts, going after spammers and hunting down multiple-accounters. :D

[Ithrynluin]

Don't you have more important things to do... like cleaning up three words posts, going after spammers and hunting down multiple-accounters. :D
Why would I be going after myself? :confused: :p

[Ciryaher]

Who in the name of Zarquon is Cliff Richard?

And I have a copy of the Beatles singing that Rolf Harris song with him :D

[Ithrynluin]

Alright, for all you Sir Cliff Richard ignoramuses, here's a website: http://www.cliffrichard.org/

I can't believe you don't remember chart toppers like...

like...

like...

Oh I don't care about Cliff Richard! ;)

[Aulë]

Hmm, that's odd.
Here are the UK Top 10 selling singles of the 90's

1 Candle In The Wind 97, Elton John 4.86 Mil
2 Unchained Melody, Robson & Jerome 1.84 Mil
3 Love Is All Around, Wet Wet Wet 1.78 Mil
4 Barbie Girl, Aqua 1.72 Mil
5 Believe, Cher 1.67 Mil
6 Perfect Day, Various Artists 1.54 Mil
7 (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, Bryan Adams 1.53 Mil
8 ...Baby One More Time, Britney Spears 1.45 Mil
9 I'll Be Missing You, Puff Daddy & Faith Evans 1.38 Mil
10 I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston 1.37 Mil

and of all time:

1 Candle In The Wind 97, Elton John 33 Mil
2 White Christmas, Bing Crosby 31 Mil
3 Rock Around The Clock, Bill Haley & His Comets 25 Mil
4 I Want To Hold Your Hand, The Beatles 13 Mil
5= Hey Jude, The Beatles 10 Mil
5= It's Now Or Never, Elvis Presley 10 Mil
5= I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston 9 Mil
8= Hound Dog, Elvis Presley 9 Mil
8= Diana, Paul Anka 9 Mil
10 (Every Thing I Do) I Do It For You, Bryan Adams 8 Mil

No Cliff at all.

[Theoden_king]

It was the sale of all singles from every decade, not just the 90's. Thats why The Hollies, Frank Sinatra, Engelbert Humperdinck etc are on the list.

[Gary Gamgee]

Out of the the top 20 I have only contributed to the single sales of one and thats Madonna. I do own Bowie and Beatles albums but no singles. Anyway I'm glad there was at least one female in the top ten, would have been better had it been someone like Kate Bush but hey ho Madonna's cool.

[Aulë]

Out of the the top 20 I have only contributed to the single sales of one and thats Madonna. I do own Bowie and Beatles albums but no singles. Anyway I'm glad there was at least one female in the top ten, would have been better had it been someone like Kate Bush but hey ho Madonna's cool.Abba is 50% female. ;)

And it's good to see that good ol' Kylie got into the Top 20. :D

[Rangerdave]

Shhh... my theory is that Aule IS Rolf Harris in real life, so lets not offend him.:D
Thats funny, because I always thought that Snaga was secretly Bill Oddie of the Goodies. The Master of the ancient Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump!
:D


RD

[Snaga]

Harumph!:mad: I resent the implication that I have a beard.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

IMHO, the best British singer is Sting!

[e.Blackstar]

never heard of Rolf Harris. But...

There's an old Australian stockman, lying, dying,
and he gets himself up on one elbow,
and he turns to his mates,
who are gathered 'round him and he says:

Watch me wallabys feed mate.
Watch me wallabys feed.
They're a dangerous breed mate.
So watch me wallabys feed.
Altogether now!


Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.


Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
keep me cockatoo cool.
Don't go acting the fool, Curl,
just keep me cockatoo cool.
Altogether now!


Take me koala back, Jack,
take me koala back.
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac,
so take me koala back.
Altogether now!


Let me Abos go loose, Lou,
let me Abos go loose.
They're of no further use, Lou,
so let me Abos go loose.
Altogether now!

Mind me platypus duck, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Don't let him go running amok, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Altogether now!


Play your digeridoo, Blue,
play your digeridoo.
Keep playing 'til I shoot thro' Blue,
play your digerydoo.
Altogether now!


Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred,
tan me hide when I'm dead.
So we tanned his hide when he died Clyde,
And that's it hanging on the shed.
Altogether now!


...I know the song, I love the song, I didn't think anyone else had ever heard of it! Yay! hehehehehe!

(My sister went to Australia and came back with a bunch of souviners, including a CD of Aussie songs.)

I love it! Huzzah!

[Eledhwen]

I am more troubled that RangerDave knows all the words to 'Tie me Kangaroo Down Sport' than Cliff Richard hitting top of a pop poll. He did have number one hits in five decades (thanks to a clever combination of Auld Lang Syne and The Lord's Prayer in AD2000), which has got to help his ratings. In my opinion, he's good, but not that good. For a start, Chris Eaton, who wrote 'Saviour's Day', sings it much better than Cliff.

It's interesting you mention The Goodies, because it's clear that Cliff Richard's success is largely due to his being able to slough off the curse of the inbetweenies:

"Too old to be a teenage idol
Too young to be a mother's pet.
Are we just the inbetweenies
Everyone tries to forget?" :D

[Rangerdave]

I can't tell you how happy I am that Snaga and Eledhwen remember the Goodies.

I was begining to think I halucinated the whole thing.



RD

[Eledhwen]

Hallucinated! Yes, it seems like that sometimes. Maybe we hallucinated Cliff Richard.

Do you remember 'Black Pudding Bertha'? I think it was a B side - probably to the Funky Gibbon. The chorus goes

By Gum! [echo: By Gum!]
Here she comes [here she comes]
Yum Yum! [Yum Yum]
Shake yer bum [Shake yer bum]
Black Pudding Bertha,
She's the queen of Rock and Roll.

Who says there's no culture anymore?!