my paper about.......

[ASLAN THE GREAT]

i had to wiite a paper on c.s.lewis for my LIT class and here it is if any one wnat's to read it

[Hammersmith]

How critical do you want me to be?

Here are a few points that jumped out at me:

Multiple punctuation (???) is generally assumed to be a very bad idea in any serious work
Try to spell the names of the main characters right (Edmund)
The capitalisation of the authors' names is totally unnecessary
The paper seems a bit too interpersonal for a formal work. Avoid directly addressing the reader except in very specific cases
;)

[Firawyn]

I too, will recomend a few edits:


Like Hammersmith said, it is not nessasary to capitalize the authors' names and the book titles. Try italics or quotations.
I noticed that you were writing in 'stream of consiousness'. What I mean by that is you wrote things like 'oh where was I?' 'back on subject' etc. This is very hard to read. Try reading your paper out loud to yourself and if you get tounge tied or confused as you're trying to make sence of your writing, then edit edit edit!
spelling and grammer, as Hammersmith mentioned
Don't use I. People don't generally care about what you think. The only time you should use "I" when wrting a paper is if it's a pursusive paper. Use phrases like 'it is thought' so and so said' and 'when we think about this'. First person is never a good idea. This will help make it less 'stream of consiousness' like.


Overall, it was a great paper. You made rather valid points, expressed what you wanted to say, and made it interesting. One thing you should know, however, is that Disney is only a money source, and Walden Media is really in charge of the whole thing. For more info, check out THIS (http://www.narniaweb.com/content.asp?id=2) site. I too am a rather big Narnia fan and am estatic about Lewis becomign as popular as Tolkien did through PJ's movies. Good job Aslan!

[ASLAN THE GREAT]

ok thnk so mouch for the replays i will do the editing

[Firawyn]

Good boy! I hope you get a good grade! Let us know how it turns out! :cool:

[ASLAN THE GREAT]

ok i will do that as soon as i frond out

[ASLAN THE GREAT]

will i trund in my paper on c.s.lewis to day and i got an A+ think you evey one for your replay and tell me what to delete and add....

[Firawyn]

Great job kid! Keep it up! ;)

[ASLAN THE GREAT]

thinkx Firawyn i will