Things LOTR Characters would never say

[I.am.Smeagol]

*sighs* You two best start apriciating me and my lack of abuillity to spell. ^_~

[Tarien]

Gandalf- Let me take the ring!! It's my 2000th birthday!!

Arwen- Sheloth? Apologise and I'll let you have the hobit.
Witch-King- Never!
Arwen- Okay....(river floods)
Arwen- take that!

Hobbit- Y'know, these holes are kind of dorky. How 'bout apartments? We could live far off the ground!!
Other hobbit- Yippeeee!

Saruman- Here's the ring, Sauron. Would you like some tea, you @$^*^^?
Sauron- Yes.
Saruman- And did I tell you that I'm wearing your ring, you nit?
Sauron- No.
Saruman- Ah-ha.

Cheesy, I know.

[Chymaera]

Gaffer - "No beer for me thanks"

[Rohansangel]

Mad Magazine LotR Spoofs...Very Funny! (http://www.theonering.net/movie/scrapbook/range/90)

OMG they are so great!! Hehehe!

~The Angel of Rohan

[Goldberry344]

ive seen those magasine things, but they are FUNNY! :) :) :)

Arathin, you'd best start working up some appreciation for the freshmen.

[Istar]

Mad Magazine was awesome!!!
All in favor of referring to LOTR characters by the names Mad gave them? Yay or nay? Maybe just in Bag End, since the other boards seem too serious.

Istar

[Goldberry344]

its a good idea, but id forget what their names are, i forget my OWN name half the time! :)

[Arathin]

I don't have to appreciate the Freshman. I'm king of Gondor. (not here)

The freshman has very serious identity problems, and memory problems.

[My_Precious]

ROFLMAO!!!!
Those are awesome!!!
:D :D :D

[Arathin]

What are??? I'm very confused.

[Goldberry344]

Thats alright, Arathin, you can be the "King of Gondor" all you want, but i am STILL NOT KING!!! mwahahahahaha....would you like a manly stubble update?? well, stubble on your legs can be pretty manly too, you know!

[Arathin]

Of course it can be, Goldberry. Whatever you say. At least you're my subject. Muahahahahahahaha. I have subjects, loyal loving subjects. Hahahahaha. btw, for anyone who wants to know. I test for my licence Sat, 6th, at 7 am my time. just thought you might like to know. might fail, but i'm testing then.

[Goldberry344]

no, i am no one's subject. i dont even LIVE in Gondor, i live (when im there) with my grandparents, Tom and other Goldberry. so hahahahahahaha

[Beorn]

*Mike comes in and boots Arathin off the throne!*

[Tao]

:) Funny....Funny

[My_Precious]

Originally posted by Arathin
What are??? I'm very confused.
Mad Magazine...:)

[Goldberry344]

YAY!!! arathin is gone! no more king! lets party!

[Arathin]

Beorn, I was not talking about the forum Gondor. My nickname at school is Aragorn. I was refering to my school Gondor which I rule. Goldberry goes to school with me. Isn't that right, ring?

[Beorn]

Yeah, sure that's what they all say!!!

;) ;)

[tom_bombadil]

Ah yes but you rule gondor and quite alot of land but i am master of the old forest and the barrow downus and i was there at the beginning i dont think u were i think u werent even born

[Rohansangel]

Tom Bombadil sings too much! LoL! He is jolly :)

[Goldberry344]

ya, Beorn, i go to school with Arathin, Eogthea and I.am.smeagol.
bummer.

oh, and everyone, my grandfather has joined the forum. well, not my real grandfather, but my RPG character (Goldberry, go figure!) is not the real goldberry, she's the granddaughter of Goldberry....

[Arathin]

Yeah!!! I got my licence! I can drive without a parental unit in the passenger seat!!!! *v. happy*

[My_Precious]

Aragorn & Legolas (http://www.myprecious.co.uk/humour/comics/advice_for_the_lovelorn.jpg)
P.S. Congrats, Arathin!! Don't kill many people!:D :D :D

[Istar]

True... Aragorn did look sleezier than I imagined him. If only that could work for me.

Istar

[Goldberry344]

ive seen that one before too, hehe!! oh well. im thinking of doing the diary of Bill. or the POinty hat. Maybe the Carrot. any advise??

[Arathin]

The carrot. b/c i just ran it over while in my mom's car. hehe. stupid carrot was in the middle of the road. what was I supposed to do, stop??? yeah like i would.

Hey My Precious, v. funny and v. educational. hehe

[Goldberry344]

i dono. the diary of the carrot or the hat might be slightly x rated and gross.

[Rohansangel]

NO DIARIES OF CARROTS OR POINTY HATS!!!! V. SCARY!!!!!

~The Angel of Rohan

PS: Actually that would be pretty funny ... But no.

[Goldberry344]

thats what i was thinking. ill do bill's diary when i get the time.

[Arathin]

Frodo:Well it can't stay in the Shire, Gandalf. What should we do? Here you take it!
Gandalf:No! Don't tempt me! I would use it for good, but through me it would weild an undescribable evil.
Frodo:Please take it.
Gandalf:Ok.

[Goldberry344]

lol.

Legolas to Gimili- can i borrow your hairbrush??

[Arathin]

lmao

[shadowfax_g]

Lord of Nazgûl:"No living humankind may hinder me!"
Éowyn:"....."

[Rohansangel]

Thank god for school computers. *evil smile* These are great!!
But Goldberry, I thought you knew... Gimli wouldn't use a haribrush, how do you think he got those dreads?

~The Angel of Rohan

[Istar]

Gimli or Legolas - "I need a shave."

[Gary Gamgee]

Saruman to Gandalf- 'you'd really suit white'

[Turgon]

Treebeard to Quickbeam: Come on, spit it out! I've not got all day you know!

Sauron to Saruman (via palantir): Oh and give my regards to Gandalf...

Ugluk to Grishnakh (in the style of Terry Thomas): Well, Hello!

[Mrs. Baggins]

Gollumn: I'm coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs!!

[Shadowfax]

Gollum: It's not easy being green... (kermit the Frog song)

[Goldberry344]

Rohan's angel, i thought you knew.... Gimli doesnt have dreads, he has sexy, chunky braids.

[Arathin]

OH MY GOD, FRESHMAN! I'M TELLING MOLLY THAT YOU LIKE HER MAN!

Sam:Pardon me, Mr. Strider sir, but I'm only going on this stupid quest for Gimli. He is soo hott with those sexy braids.
Strider:But I thought you would follow FRODO anywhere...
Sam:No! I love Gimli.
Strider:You do know that he is with the (yuck) Elf, Legolas, right?
Sam:No he's not, Mr. Strider. He is with me. The whole Elf thing is just a front.

[Shadowfax]

Gollum/Smegol: My slinker side likes the whole wheat goodness, but my Stinker side likes the frosting!

[Shadowfax]

Originally posted by pippin le qer


was this a short notice for:
feed the cat to ALF, he has been hungry since he arrived on earth?

This is VERY old, but I couldn't help but notice it. Maybe "Feed the Cat" on Saurons desktop reffered to Shelob? The book calls her "his cat"
~~~~~~~~~~
muttering to himself, gandalf figures out the cheese grater.

Pippin: To be, or not to be...

[Tao]

*Gollum at Mt. Doom*: Wait...is the ring really worth this much to me?

[Arathin]

*While Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are hunting orcs to save Merry and Pip*
Aragorn:Champaigne?
Legolas:We're in the middle of a chase, Aragorn.
Aragorn:You're right. Something red.
**********(a few moments later)***********
Aragorn:For a chase, Galadriel recommends this excelent 1492 Cabernia.
Gimli:Oh sounds nice.
Aragorn:You can't have any. You're too young.


Sorry had to. Some of you will reconize this from a Three Musketeers movie. The one with Chris O'Donnell and Oliver Platt.

[Turgon]

'Carrot yesterday, carrots today, and blimey if it don't look like carrots agin tomorrer... Never a blinking bit if broccoli have we had for long enough..' Bill, Tom and Bert.
(okay it's from The Hobbit but... whatever)

[Arathin]

Hobbit stuff is good too. It does say ALL TOLKIEN CHARACTERS. This would include all of his books.

[Shadowfax]

Shadowfax: Wiiiilllllllbuuuuuurrrrr!

[Goldberry344]

At councel of Elrond...
Frodo: Frig this. I'm going back to bag end and im gonna marry sam.
Sam(blushing): gee, mr frodo, me?? im honored...but do you go for girls too?? cause rosie is really fine!
Pip/merry: no waay, thats not fair. just cause Gandalf told Frodo to keep sam around doesnt mean Frodo can ditch us this far into the relationship!
Frodo: what relationship, we're cousins!
pip/merry: errr...
Gandalf: thats ok... if Elrond and i can move in too....
Gimli: i hear hobbit holes are as good as mines... do you have a few extra rooms
Legolas: dont worry, my dear dwarf, we only really need one.

:D

[Turgon]

Gaffer Gamgee to the Black Rider in Hobbiton.
"Mr Baggins? Sure I've seen him. He's just over there..."

[Shadowfax]

I found this on another website:
Gandalf looks at the orcs and said, "these are not the hobbits you are looking for, you can let us pass" with a slight wave of his hand.

[I.am.Smeagol]

Bill the pony: D@mn those Hobbits.

[Arathin]

Gandalf:Silly Billy. Tralalalala. I just love singing and reading poetry.

(Added to my last one)
Aragorn:I just hope that Porthos doesn't sue.

[Goldberry344]

Aragorn, in the middle of chasing Merry and Pip: ok, stop now, im on my vacaton


CAUSE I AM ON VACATION WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Shadowfax]

Frodo after Bilbo gives him the Mithril: Gee thanks, it's not like this wouldn't have come in handy BEFORE!

[Goldberry344]

Sam on weathertop~ Oh, sure, Strider, why dont you take your sweet time about getting here?

[Arathin]

Yes we are Goldberry.

Sam:Wow, I think that Gimli is kinda cute. Those chunky braids!

[Turgon]

Galadriel to Gimli (sings): Wild Thing, I.. think I love ya - but I wanna know for sure...

[Arathin]

Legolas:Everyone likes Gimli. How come no one likes me? It is because of this blasted spot, isn't it?

[Turgon]

Gimli to Legolas (sings): You're the one for me, Spotty, you're the one I really, really love...

[Goldberry344]

*mutters* now arathin is making fun of chunky braids....just wait till i.am.smeagol finds out...

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Mutters* Okay, you are making fun of braids are ya? Whats next? Making fun of my clip? Eh? Bah! Ive had enough with you all! Off to Arda!

[Shadowfax]

Saruman: One of the halflings carries something of great value . Bring them to me, unspoiled- check the expiration date on the bottom of their feet.

S. again: *looks at the bottom of palantir* "Property of Motown Bowling Alley?"

Arwen&Aragorn:
"Do you remember when we first met?"
-"I was drunk, much like I am now."

Arwen to Frodo: "Hear my voice, come back to the light."
-"No thanks, I have a migrain and Pippin ate all of my aspirin."

[Arathin]

I'm not making fun of him. And besides, smeagol, you love Legolas, or should I say Orlando Bloom.

[Goldberry344]

oh, nasssty elfsss.....lol

[I.am.Smeagol]

Nah. I am pretty much over Orli. ;)
I think.
But I still love his Legolas self. Yes, I know. I am one of those hopless fan girls. *Giggles*

In Moria

Gandalf: The fan girls have been let loose! This foe is above any of you! Run!

(later)

Fly you fools! The fan girls have attacked!

[Shadowfax]

Boromir(when the orcs are attacking): I haul that !@@$@!#$ big *ss sheild all over middle earth, and when I finally get a chance to use it, it's back at camp!

[Arathin]

YOU! over Orli? Never! Not in this lifetime! And if you are over him, then let Goldberry put spots on your pictures. Haha! You won't b/c you still like him!
********

Aragorn walks in the opposite direction then the way the one which the orcs took the hobbits.
Legolas:Where are you going, Aragorn? They were taken this way.
Aragorn:I'm not going that way.
Gimli:Why not? You said we were going to hunt some orcs.
Aragorn:Yeah, we are, but not those orcs. The hobbits are free no matter what we do. Lets just save Gandalf some trouble and go straight to Rohan now. Talk to the king there, and go to war.
Legolas and Gimli:Ok!

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Gasp!* You cannot contaminate my Legolas shrine! I said Orli, not Leggy. ^_^


Legolas: Help! I'm being kept captive in a locker! Help!

[Arathin]

For those of you who do not walk by Smeagol's locker everyday of school, that is what you really do hear coming from it.

[Tarien]

Poor Legolas! Y'know, you have to feed him occasionally!

[Goldberry344]

i try to *feed* him, but for some odd reason i.am.smeagol thinks im gonna draw blasted elven spots on him....i wonder why.....

[I.am.Smeagol]

Oh, he eats my lunches. I think. I stick em in my locker and they are gone by the time lunch comes around. Hmm. He could prolly use some sunlight, it must be awfully hard to brush his long blonde hair in there. ;P

[Goldberry344]

I'll take him for a walk (upstairs to my locker) any day!

[Arathin]

Oh god! They're going to start fighting over him again.

[Goldberry344]

:) i know her locker # (evil cackling laugh heard)

[Shadowfax]

*rolls her eyes at those three*

[Goldberry344]

we are *not* like this in real life....

[Shadowfax]

It's just really amusing to listen in on you guys!;)

[Goldberry344]

hmmm, not sure thats a compliment....:)

[Gamil Zirak]

Gimli - "I'm starting to like those Orcs."
Sauron - "Why can't we all just get along?"Elrond - "Let's just give him the ring. I'm going to the West anyway."

[Rohansangel]

For any newbies to this thread, to 'get' half the jokes, go here --
http://diaries.diagon.org
Frodo Baggins --
Day 35: Everyone keeps hitting on me. Cannot cope. Off to Mordor. Sam coming too. Hopefully will enjoy more of those platonic, brotherly foot massages he's so good at.
WHOOOOOOOO

[I.am.Smeagol]

Riiiiigggggghhhhhhtttttt Goldberry. Just keep denying it. I Know, _I_ am like this in real life. Pretty much.

[Goldberry344]

ok, i took a quiz that i.am.smeagol sent me...it said im most like Samwise.

here is a plesant excerpt from Samwise's diary~

Day 24: Boromir killed by orcs. Knew orcs good for something. Frodo off to Mordor. Taking mea along, Hurrah! ! Mr Frodo is depressed and claims is now sure he will die a Virgin in the barren wastelands of the Dark Lord's realm. We will see about that
i am away

I AM SAMWISE GAMGEEEEE!!!!

[Shadowfax]

I took that quiz. I came out like Pippin!

[Arathin]

Yeah. Hate to be the one to tell you, my dear little ring, but we are like this in real life and in public.

[Shadowfax]

how did you come out like sam? I have done a variety of combinations of answers, but it never came out to sam!

[Arathin]

I took it and came out as Arwen. Yeah I get to marry Aragorn. Hurrah!

[elenya]

Frodo: We really need a bath.
Sam: I know! I haven't bathed in a year!
Frodo: Sam, we've only been gone 6 months...
Sam *giggles* hehe. I know.

[Shadowfax]

-then Sam whipped out his bottle of strawberry bubblebath and a carrot...:p

[elenya]

The Sam hasn't bathed joke? I didn't make it up. :( Buuut...This is the story it came from. It's the best ever! Legolas talks to turtles, Aragorn's greasy, Gandalf talks like he's from the ghetto...is there anything better? No. No there isn't.
READ (www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=566989) it now!!!

[Tarien]

I have people in my school like that!! Every character in that is represented in the wonderful world of AMS: a square building full of boredom and despair!

[Arathin]

Very funny elenya

Aragorn: (thinks to self) you know...
what?
well i really kinda like that little hairy newt, i mean dwarf, gimli.
oh god help us!

[Goldberry344]

hmmm, did anyone else besides i.am.smeagol and me get around to reading the "Dude where's my ring" story. its pretty funny....

im reading the one elenya posted now....

[Shadowfax]

Yes, Iv'e read it!
R.O.H.A.N.!!!!!!!

[Arathin]

Oh God, NO!!!!!!
*start twiching violently and covers her ears*
Make it stop! Make it stop!

[Tarien]

I've read it too! The wraiths are hilarious!

[Ice Man]

1 - I will only return Arkenstone to you if you kiss my hairy @ss right here right now. - Bilbo to Torin before handing in Arkenstone to Bard.

[Ice Man]

2 - Do you bring many bimbos here Beorn? - Bilbo to Beorn in Beorn's house.

[Goldberry344]

yes, i loved dude wheres my ring. another thing we owe to i.am.smeagol.

*gets up and hugs i.am.smeagol.* you rock!

[Arathin]

Yeah Go I.Am.Smeagol

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Blushes and must write her own comeadic LotR fan fic instead of simply finding others*

Heheh. Twas nothing my good friends. Simply the benifits of being a geek and spending way to much time online. ^_^

[Goldberry344]

:) you still rock. dude, you found the DIARIES. where would we be without them??

[Arathin]

Oh and Smeagol....glompaliciousness...oh my, indeed. So a great word. oh my, oh the glompaliciousness of viggo mortensen and orlando bloom. oh my, indeed.

Legolas: Wow, those fangirls are just sooo.... glompalicious. Oh my!
Aragorn: Good point. Oh the glompaliciousness. Oh my.

[I.am.Smeagol]

Legolas"Release the fangirls!"
*Glomps can be heard, Legolas falls over under a stamped of fangirls*
Legolas(muffled)"Ermmp, Nevermind.. Help??? Please??"

[Arathin]

oh my *twich twich twich* oh my

[Bombadil's Bane]

(Sam to Gollum)

Wanna go out sometime?

(Gollum to Sam)

Ohhh yes precioussss. Tie me up with Elven rope, yessss preciousssss!:rolleyes:

[Goldberry344]

*Goldberry charges in with a POINTY STICK and proceeds to poke everyone.* "POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE!" poke the tummy...

[Bombadil's Bane]

:( Do not poketh thy tummies. Thou dost not knoweth how mucheth it hurteth. (Galadriel to Goldberry) :D :rolleyes:

[Goldberry344]

"hey, why is my stick all of a sudden a sword??" poke poke poke...;)

[Arathin]

Takes away Goldberry's large pointy stick/sword.
"Poke anyone else with your large pointy stick/sword and I will take Elijah out of my fanfic...or of course I could just make him hate you for glomping him. Muahahahaahaahahahahahahaha

Sam:Oh yeah. What? Oh never mind. Yeah sure. Here ya go Mr. Gandalf, but first you have to give me a really sexy picture of Mr. Frodo.
Gandalf:Oh not again, Sam! What happened to your last one?
Sam:Well,um,you know...Well never you mind. Want the weed; give me the picture.
Gandalf:Awwww, damn it Sam! ~fumes a bit~ Here take it before I change my mind.
~hands over a picture of Frodo and grabs a very large bag of weed. Then disappears with a flash of light.

This is only a small taste of what is to come on fanfic. hehehehehe...I feel bad for Viggo, Elijah, and Orlando. They somehow got into my fanfic at complete random......Ok I don't feel bad for Viggo, but I do feel bad for Elijah and Orlando. oh my!

[Goldberry344]

*rushes to sit in a corner and do nothing* "take anything...not...elijah..."

[Mrs. Baggins]

Frodo: Wow, this ring is getting so much lighter now that I'm in Mordor! It's amazing! I don't even feel it! Wait a minute.... I lost it.
Sam: Oh, don't worry. Gollum probably stole it. I'm glad he is happy now. At least he can lead the kind of life he wanted to. I hope he lives happily ever after until the end of his days... which I hope are very loong off.

[Goldberry344]

lol. yes, sam goes fishing for gollum...

[Shadowfax]

Merry: We are indistinguishable. Call us Mippin.
Frodo: Do you *have* to come along?
Mippin: Yes. We are wanted for felony in several farthings.

[Arathin]

Gandalf:*starts randomly singing an old Irish drinking song in Moria* :o Oh there's wisky in the jar!:o

[Goldberry344]

oh, Arathin has 1000, and goldberry..goldbery has 900. im catching up. mwuahahahahahahahaaaaa

[Anamatar IV]

Gandalf: He needs only this one ring to enslave all the free world.

Frodo: So...how much could i get for it?

[Goldberry344]

that was EXELLENTE.

oh, and too bad Arathin missed LOTR again....hehehe :)

[Arathin]

Shut up Goldberry. I can drive myself to see it whenever I want.

[Goldberry344]

doesnt matter. you still missed lotr.

[I.am.Smeagol]

Yeah Arathin. Last playing in MA, unless you want to drive to Framininhamn (SP?), if its even playing there....

[Goldberry344]

stop talking about it. you're getting me depressed. *twich twich*

[Arathin]

FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
FoTR=months upon months...
I know I'm evil, aren't I?

[Shadowfax]

Rosie giving birth to Elanor: "You did this to me Samwise Gamgee, you son of a *BEEP*

[Goldberry344]

*giggle* that one is harsh, shadowfax! but funny... :D

[Arathin]

Indeed, harsh but hilarious!

[Shadowfax]

Thankyou, but I can't take credit, one of my friends thought it up.

[Goldberry344]

ohwell, its still funny. tell your friends that i liked it, for me. ;)

[Arathin]

Indeed, and that I liked it too.

[tom_bombadil]

Bombadill "ive had enough of you goldberry we are so getting a divorce"

[Goldberry344]

owch. thats harsh. ;)

[tom_bombadil]

he he it was supposed tobe

[Mrs. Baggins]

I can't believe you people can think of so many things to say! I enjoy reading all this but I can't expand upon the humor! I feel so.............hmmmmmmmmmmm......what's the word?............not funny?

[Goldberry344]

*bursts into tears*

i know how you feel, Mrs. Baggins....i think up humor..but not often. i am funny by being me, and i dont think thats a good thing.

[Shadowfax]

It's totally a good thing, Goldberry.
*at the PRancing Pony, our favorite hobbits are ordering their dinner drinks*

Frodo: Half pint ale.

Pippin: Half pint mead.

Merry: Half pint beer.

Sam: Martini, on the rocks, shaken, not stirred.

*all stare at him*
Sam: The names Gamgee. Samwise Gamgee. You can call me Sam.

P.S. I might have gotten JB's preferd drink wrong, if it is, please correct me.

[Arathin]

i know that it isn't a margarita, but i don't remember what it is. ps. i love the sig about saruman

[Shadowfax]

Danke Schon! (thank you) I remember the first thing I thought when I saw the Palantir was "magic 8 ball!"

[tom_bombadil]

martini

[tom_bombadil]

Sam to bill the pony: Bill you worthless useless pony i don't know why we evr brought you **** of back to your real master!

[Arathin]

German, Shadowfax? One of my NINE different nationalies is German. I have most of Europe in my blood! It is soo weird when people are talking about their nationalities and only have two or three. So what my ancesters traveled a lot! Big deal! *mutters about the stupid people that pick on her about her ancesters' 'activities' that might have led to her large number of blood-line nationalities* It's not my fault. Everyone knows that the British fooled around all over the place!

[Shadowfax]

Sorry. My mother's family is German. (I know it's SOME eastern european anyway, 'cause my toes are hairy) anyhoo, I just enjoy speaking it, and sometimes I accidntally slip and will answer people auf Deustch(sp?) obviously my spelling and grammar needs some work. Do you speak it?;)
hey something I was wondering (just yell at me if you think this is a bad idea, and I will crawl back into the Shadow from whence I came)but maybe we could run a caption contest? Have a special thread, and have one a week, and appoint someone to judge? (I don't know how to set up a voting thingy)

[Istar]

That's a good idea! I could MyST the LOTR movies easily!

[Arathin]

No I only speak english, bad english, a little latin, and a little french. and yes bad english is a real language! thank you very much.

[Goldberry344]

i speak english and french...kill french...6 years of french..GAG

[Shadowfax]

Deustch macht viel spaz! (German is very fun) I love it. Hey, Arathin, I was wondering what your nom de plum is on Fanfiction.net so I can go their and read your stuff. I bet it will be hilarious!

[Shadowfax]

Aragorn: To be king, or not to be king, what a stupid question!

Legolas: To use Pantene Pro-V, or Salon Selectives...

Gandalf: To kill or not to kill that FOOL OF A TOOK!

Boromir: To whine or not to whine...

Gimli: Grrr...arrrgh...me son of Gloin...grunt

Frodo: To be or not to be a pathetic wuss. (in the movie anyway)

Sam: Take Mr. Frodo's Rock Collection, or his Library...I'll just take both!
or
Behold! What light over yonder window breaks! It is the east, and Mr. Frodo is the sun!

Pippin: To be, or not to be annoying to Gandalf.

Bill: I stalwartly refuse to asquiesce to partake of such an abomnible parody of Shakespearian masterpieces.

Merry: To eat, or not to eat, that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler of a hobbit to suffer the biting pains of outrageous hunger, or to raid Aragorn's pack and by theiving end them? To eat: To sleep; and by a sleep to say we end the stomach-ache and the thousand natural yearnings for mead the flesh is heir to, it's heady effect devoutly to be pursu'd. To sleep; perchance to dream: aye there's the rub; for in that sleep what dreams may come, When we have finished off the lembas, must give us pause. We think on plumcakes, mushrooms and ale with respect, and of the calamity of collapsed souffles. For who could bear the drips, and the burns of the tongue, the jalapeno's bite, the lemon's tart, the pangs of indigestion, the burp's delay, that insolence of that last pea on the plate, that one must with patience the unworthy bean spear? And with a bare travel fork? Who could this bear...

[I.am.Smeagol]

Heh, Im part German. Go me. Muh mummie's mum was from Yugoslavia, and her dad was from Germany. On the other side, my dads French Canadian, and a bunch o other stuff. Hehehe. Go me. I wish I spoke German, but I dont. =(

[Istar]

LOL, Shadowfax! Bill's was the best line of this whole thread!

[Nimawae's hope]

Oh my GOSH!!! That was HILARIOUS Shadowfax!!!! I just about fell out of my chair.....and that isn't a good idea.....too many other people around in the computer lab!!!

I got a lot of German myself.....However, I also have Irish, English, Scottish, Dutch, French, and Native American. Of course their could be other things in there too, but I haven't found them yet!!:rolleyes:

[Goldberry344]

ohwow...Arathins username on fanfic is arathin...cause shes not gonna be here until later tonight.

[Shadowfax]

I have a ton of nationalities too... my dad's family came to Jamestown, umm... I'm related to "Old King Cole", ummm Julius Ceasar and Pocahantas. (I know this cause my dad wrote this big book about our family history and forced me to read it. It has to be the most boring thing ever committed to print) Does anyone else have hair on their toes and have E. Euro descent? 'Cause one of my friends said that that's why I have hair there. (Or maybe I've got some hobbit in me!;) )

[Arathin]

lol sounds fun. yeah my fanfic name is Arathin

[Shadowfax]

(Gandalf is reading a Quenyan-Westron dictionary):"Hmmmm...now let's see, 'Mirthrandir: an ancient Elvish term for a horse's rear...' WHAT THE !@#$$!"

[Legolam]

OK, how are you guys working out your nationalities? I would go withthe one on your passport, but surely you can't go further back than grandparents!! That's how sports do it anyway, and my country's rugby team has ended up with many NZers in it!

BTW - I'm a pure bred Scot any way you look at it. I even have a clan and a tartan that corresponds with my second name!

And, to keep this on track, Shadowfax's parody was the funniest thing I've heard in a very long time! Brings back memories of English lessons!

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Giggles* Shadowfax, you have the funniest ideas! I love the Westron to Quenya thing. So funny. And yes, Im from Mediteranian/ Euro descent and have hair on my toes, but I shave it off. Hehehe.

[Nimawae's hope]

Hair on the toes? Yes......sadly I have it.....I don't know where it comes from though......maybe I have some Eastern Euro that I didn't know about!

Hey Legolam!! Quit rubbing it in.....I WISH I had that much Scottish blood, but I do not! I do have a family tartan though!!!:D :D YAY FOR ME!!!!


I keep putting off any mention of the subject because I have no hope of writing anything funnier than what Shadowfax did!!

[Goldberry344]

oh, shadowfax, that was awesome, but didnt you get that idea from a Gary Larson, The Far Side cartoon, its The Lone ranger looking through an indain dictionary.... no??

[Shadowfax]

Yep, I love Gary Larson. It is so sad that he doesn't do cartoons anymore. most of my stuff I ruthlessly pirate from other people and pass it off as my own. You know, kind of like changing the liscence plates and repainting a stolen car before you drive it past the original owner. It's just common courtesy. BUT my sig and the Shakespeare stuff is completly my own. Oh, and Arathin, I loved your fanfic, I would have reviewed it, but I am not registered and you don't accept anonymous reviews! OK< heres a riddle I found on another site!

Q: Why do hobbits have round doors?

A: If you ate nine meals a day, you'd want a round door too!

[Arathin]

Well then register, people! It doesn't take more than two minutes! Holy Mother of Earth!!!

[Goldberry344]

aha, i put up my second chapter tonight. so lazy. i should have all of em up by now. i should re-start writing my fic. hohum. i should do a lot of things.

[Shadowfax]

I had to wait until I got my own email account. Before I was just sharing with my mom. OK everyone, tell us what your fanfic names are!


*Give a stoor a fish and he eats for a day. Give a stoor a magic ring and he kills his best friend, runs away and eats fish forever.

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Giggles* Im Viiriniel on there. Even though I dont have any stories and prolly never will.

Heh, I love that one Shadowfax, can I use it as my siggy?

Me (aka Smeagol)- We dont wantss those nassstyyy fishesssss.

[Shadowfax]

I would be flattered, Smeagol!;)

[Shadowfax]

if you don't like gay stuff I think you are into the wrong book. I can count the female characters one one hand, OF COURSE there is going to be some salty humor! And as for swearing, that's what *beep*s, asterisks, and !@#$#$#%s are for.

Merry (cont): ...To grunt and chew over a dreary morsel of cram? But that dread of something worse than waybread, The undiscover'd food tofu, from which no society can return, puzzled by the health nuts, And makes us bear the rations we have, than to eat of those we know not of? Thus coincidence does not make gluttons of us all, and thus we stick to our meager provender with resolution, lest we become sickle'd and pale o'er the thought of lima beans, and the enterprises of wheat germ. With regards to those whose currant scones turn awry, and lose their fluffyness, no longer soft now! The fair wine bottle, Nymph spirits, you are all of my sins remember'd!

FIN
*bows*

(PS: I just tried to register, but the email fanfic sent me didn't have the link! I'm going to be Windfola on there however. Hmmm...notice a theme?)

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Beorn
Shagrat & Co.: Ahh, just let 'im...can't do much harm

Black Rider: Do you like scary movies?

I chuckled at quite a few of these...but this one made me laugh right out loud...hehe...
They DO look like the scream demons...

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by ssgrif
Frodo: "You're late"

Gandalf: "A wizard is never late, erm, actually yes I am a bit late, sorry. Do you have any idea how old and senile I am? You expect too much of me young Frodo Bobbins"

Poor old Gandalf, losing his Palantiri's again.

AAAAH!!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!

[I.am.Smeagol]

Pippin/Frodo, please read!

Okay, firstly, if you dont enjoy the diaries or dont find some of the jokes here humorous, dont read them!!! Apparently, a majority of the people on this thread do, as it's rather active, and there have been no complaints thus far.

Secondly, you said...

besides as I said thats really discusting!

To a gay or bi person, a straight relationship might sound disgusting. Perhaps you shouldn’t be so quick to judge others. Dont get me wrong, I'm as straight as one can be, prolly, but I dont go around and say that other preferences are wrong, or bad. According to your profile, you are one month older than my younger brother. I know he would not understand much of the gay themed humor featured on this thread, and he would think it was disgusting. Perhaps you should stay on other threads where the humor is 'clean' enough for you to handle.

[Wonko The Sane]

Aragorn to Eowyn, (Movie only)

Oh Eowyn, of course you can come down the Paths of the Dead with us...
I love you and would never part with you.
Please, take this lovely necklace as a token of my undying devotion.
*Hands her Arwen's pendant*

[Goldberry344]

oh, slap in the face.

and with JRRTs books, theres a lot of "manly bonding" so there will be gay/bi jokes made. also, there's a strange lack of, er, phisical affection. i mean, i can only remember one time when a man hugged a man. Frodo didnt even hug bilbo in rivendell. hrumph.

[Wonko The Sane]

I for one loved the Diaries...

Sent the link to all my friends.

Even posted it on my livejournal.

It was that funny.

[Goldberry344]

theres a link to it on my page too, and 3 of my own... :D

[Wonko The Sane]

Oooh, I smell funniness coming.

What's your page.

[Pippin/Frodo]

Sorry guys. I ment no offence to what I said. It's one of my worst habbits. minding other peoples buisness and taking charge. The thing is I don't mean to. I won't post here anymore. Please except my oppaligy?

[I.am.Smeagol]

I, too, am sorry. I shouldn’t have used age as a factor. I was just peeved because today was the day of silence to support gay and lesbian rights, and one of my friends was participating to help spread awareness. All cool? Don’t worry bout not posting on this thread, go right ahead.. :)

[Goldberry344]

yes, smeagol cant kick any one out. my site is on my profile... (its way to much work to find the domain name now... ;) )

[Shadowfax]

Yeah, we had one of those at our school recently. And I get where you are coming from, P/F. (I know I am going to get flamed for this no offence, hear me out, people) I belive that same gender *relationships* are wrong, BUT gays/lesbians/bis/whatevers are fully entitled to all human rights. I mean one of my best friends is gay. He is the coolest! It is nobodys business what his preferences are. Ithink drugs are wrong, but i can see the humor in it. I also have some very good friends who dodrugs and drink, but they know I do not approve, and are respectful enough to never be stoned/drunk around me. OK, that's my rant, flame me if you want, but that's my belief and I'm stickin' to it. Oh, yeah post if ya got something funny to say! Wow, THAT was really off the subject!

Q: What's Sauron's favorite food?

A: Eye-scream!

PS: how about some of you stooges checking out Buddy Baggin's Diary of the Fellowship thread? it's really good, and i am getting tired of being the only one to post!:)

[Goldberry344]

i didnt look at Buddy's diary thread. it was too confusing...

[Nimawae's hope]

Hmmmmm......I don't know 'bout you, but I'm ALWAYS confused......I don't think that Buddy Baggins Diary will make it too much worse........but then I could be wrong..........




One thing Aragorn will never say: "I hate older women."

[Shadowfax]

Well, I have been posting there, but nobody is responding, so I don't know if I'm funny or not.

"I hate older women"! LOL

oh, and I started a caption contest thread, please look at it, for me???

Sam: Now there's an eye opener, and no mistake.

Frodo: Shut up, Sam. You said that every time you used Elrond's indoor toilet.

[Arathin]

I am not going to flame you, Shadowfax, you are entitled to your opinion. I don't really care about gay/whatever relationships. Mainly b/c my aunt is leisban and my uncle is gay. I on the other hand am totally straight now and forever. hehe.

Gandalf randomly starts laughing at nothing.
Frodo: What are you laughing at?
Gandalf: I *giggle* don't have *snicker* a clue.
Frodo: Stop laughing.
Gandalf: I *laughter* can't!
Gandalf rolls on the floor laughing.

(based on Goldberry and Smeagol. We are at Smeagol's house right now. and Goldberry and Smeagol just had this comversation behind me. Goldberry was the one laughing.)

[Shadowfax]

When the Fellowship sees the Balrog across the bridge~
Sam: I can't take much more of these Depends(tm) moments, Mr. Frodo!

[Wonko The Sane]

I just have one question...

Y'all are talking about gay/lesbian issues...and yet every time someone comes out to support gays and lesbians they feel compelled to point out that they themselves are straight...

That seems a bit backwards.

[Goldberry344]

you're right, wonko, i support gays and lesbians, i think there is nothing wrong with that. that said, who cares about my preference?? my preference isnt part of the convo. :D

[Wonko The Sane]

Exactly!!

But I'm Wonko The Sane, btw...NOT wonko.
wonko would be my brother.
Sometimes known as wanko.

But only by Gorbag the Mean.

[Goldberry344]

heck, wonko the sane is too much to type...can i just do WTS??

[Arathin]

You're not sane, wonko the sane. you're totally insane, just like everyone else here. *sings*if you are insane and you know it, clap your hands. *clap, clap* oh if you are insane and you know it and you really wanna show it, clap your hands. *clap, clap* *stops singing* well that was pointless! no one even sang with me! *stomps off*

[Diabless]

*sings*, *clap, clap*, *stomp, stomp* hooray

[Samwise_hero]

Black Rider: I'm sick of chasing these little pip squeaks. I'm ready for mead and bed.

I know it's lame but anyway.:rolleyes:

[Wonko The Sane]

Yeah, WTS is fine.
That's what my brother calls me in the forums.

Sometimes he just calls me Sane too.

And I AM insane...that's the point of the name Wonko The Sane...
Although I really am not insane.
I'm the only sane one.
You're all the insane ones.

That's why I live outside the asylum. I built my house inside out to house the insane world in my asylum.

[Goldberry344]

i'm not in an asylum. they told me that if the voices went away i could stay at home, and the voices dont want you to know about them....oops. gosh darnit!

[Arathin]

Hurrah! A fellow Tolkienite that has also read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!!! Wonko the Sane, you soo totally rock! I love those books!

[Wonko The Sane]

THANK YOU!! And you rock too...for knowing my HHGTTG references. :)
YAY!!!

Incidentally Goldberry...you're not in AN asylum. You're in THE asylum.

[Goldberry344]

THERE ARE NOT INSANE PEOPLE INSIDE OF ME!!! *mutters* shuddup, judy, they dont know about you guys *cough sputter*

[Wonko The Sane]

I too am part German.
As is Wonko.

And Shadowfax...your Hamlet parody...excellent!

[Shadowfax]

*blush*
I am thinking about doing Polonius' speech, or maybe Portia's from "The merchant of Venice". Should I?
btw: do a search for "Jimcalagon"s posts. in his sig is a link to his website, which has the absolute scariest balrog of all time. I have tried to at least have something related to the thread in each post, but this will have to do, as I did not go to bed last night, and am now running solely on tripleshot nitrocha doublex muy grande lattes right now. But here is a funny situation, Pippin on a caffeine buzz.

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe...These aren't the hobbits you're looking for...HILARIOUS!!

Incidentally I'd like to see Pippin high. It'd be sooo funny.

[Shadowfax]

I wish that I could take credit for my sig, but I found it on another site.
more Shakespeare
Grishnakh: The quality of mercy is not strained, it falleth as a gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed: it is blessed by him that gives and him that recieves...

[Arathin]

*snickers* very good, shadowfax, very good. I like the sig too. Love those movies amoung other things.

[Wonko The Sane]

GO SF!!
BRILLIANT!!!

Do Polonious and Portia! I'm sooo interested to see how it turns out!!

[Goldberry344]

oh my.

Frodo- i wish the ring had never come to me.

Gandalf- so do all who live to see such times... hey, wait! i acctually kinda like this, i havent had this much fun since i went out with the balrog. seriously, have you ever SEEN one of the nazgul? when they were alive they were hunks, and sauron, man, was he ever a looker....

[Shadowfax]

*blushx2*
it is wonderful to get feedback like this, most of the feedback for my jokes I get are blank stares. *sniff* you guys are so nice *breaks into tears*

Aragorn riding on Hasufel chasing the orcs: Rollin', Rollin', Rollin', man my *ss is swollen, rollin', rollin', rollin', RAWHIDE!

~yes I did get this from "City Slickers" which every one should see

[Shadowfax]

OK, I have to know what you people think of this, I posted it on the 'Classifieds' thread, but noone said if they liked it, so I'll just post it here...

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS "MAN"?
*picture of Bilbo*
Please contact the Sylvan Primary Insect Defence Effort Repulsion Senter.
Name: Bilbo Baggins.
Aliases: Clue Finder, Web Cutter, Stinging Fly, Lucky Number, Ringwinner, Luckwearer, Barrelrider.
Description: Invisible.
Crimes: Wanted in connection with several murders in eastern Mirkwood.
Consorting with Elves, Wizards, and Dwarves.
Breaking and Entering.
Felony Robbery.
Grand theft ring.
If you see him, do NOT try to detain him. He has a sharp Sting. Contact the Sylvan Primary Insect Defence Effort Repulsion Senter at:
1-800-SPIDERS

*my, my, quite a rapsheet there, Bilbo

[My_Precious]

Wah! Haven't been here for quite some time! :eek:

[Wonko The Sane]

Shadowfax...:) That's funny.
Especially the Description: Invisible and the Crime: Consorting with Elves, Dwarves, and Wizards. :)

LOVE IT!!
Keep it coming.

:) And YAY OREGON! YAY PACIFIC NORTHWEST!!!

[Shadowfax]

OMG! WTS, do you live up here too? I am not that keen on Oregon, as I have mold allergies (it's so wet) and some hayfever (Linn County's slogan is, and I swear to God I am not making this up, "The Grass seed capital of the world." WOOOOoooo.... *trails off* wow, now THAT is something to be proud of.) I hope this gives you people an idea of the absolute NOTHINGNESS of Eugene/Springfeild life. the Willamette valley is famous for GRASS SEED! augh! Another example of the banality of my life (Iam trying to use my vocab words) is that on saturdays for kicks, my friends and I go downtown t owatch the protesters. *sigh* SAVE ME!
OK, that was my little rant. I had to get it off my chest. Sorry everyone.

~to I.am.Smeagol: I believe it was you who posted a link to Webshots on another thread that has "LotR in Sims" on it, and I was just wondering if you knew how they made them, b/c it looks like fun, and I want to try!

Bill: *steps on Sam's foot*

(that's all I can think of right now, as I used up my humor quota on a short fable for English. none of my friends thought it was funny. *sigh* It is supposed to be in the style of James Thurber. It has absolutley nothing to do with LotR, but it is fantasy.)

[Wonko The Sane]

Wonko and I live in Washington!!!

WOO PACIFIC NORTHWEST!!!

[Diabless]

This is a little different.Take off of movie

Sam- I did. It's just...we did what Gandalf wanted didn't we. We got the Ring this far and I thought...Seein as your on the mend. I thought we'd be off, off home.

Frodo- You're right Sam. I am ready to go home.

Glinda the Good Witch- Then just close your eyes, tap your heels in your ruby slippers and say, "There's not place like home."

[Wonko The Sane]

What does Glinda have to do with...OOH!! I GET IT!!!

[Shadowfax]

HAHAHAHA! And then the hobbits launched into a stirring rendition of "The Lollipop Guild" followed by, "Ding, Dong, the Witchking's Dead"!

[Arathin]

All the Elves of Rivendell when the fellowship is chosen: Ding dong. The witch is died. Which old witch? The wicked witch. Ding dong. The wicked witch is died. Get out of bed, sleepy head. The wicked witch is diedddddddd---...

*clears throat* hrmm... Not that I watch it all the time or anything....


What I don't!!!

[Wonko The Sane]

You at least don't read it...it's dead...not died...

And I believe you're hiding something about your wanton "Wizard" viewing habits, are you not?

[Shadowfax]

OK, while I was reading the "Wizard of Oz" stuff, I just got a weird scene in my head. The Hobbits going about their business in the Shire, when all of a sudden, WHAM! This huge house falls out of nowhere, squishing Sharkey... and you know the rest (I also thought about Gandy in a tutu, but that was too weird)

[I.am.Smeagol]

Ermp. Sorry for not replying sooner, Shadowfax. Silly me. Silly homework. Silly finals. Anywho, I have no idea, she says she got somthing called 'skins' from a random webpage. I dont own the game (wish I did!) so I cant really help ya further than giving you the link to the actual skins page.. http://www.geocities.com/skinsforsims/lotrskins.html
Theyve been having bandwidth trouble, so Id try the link a few times if it doesnt work..

[Arathin]

so I can't spell and never watch tv!!! So what! Like that is any of your business! It is all the little voices' fault, I tell you!!! It's not my fault!!! Nnnnnooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gets dragged away to a mental institute, where she has immense fun driving the other inmates... dum dum dum....SANE!!!!!!!

[Wonko The Sane]

Your sig is too long.

ReadWryt will disembowell you when he finds out.

[Goldberry344]

not true, Kor has had a huge sig for a while and no one told him to get rid of it.

[Istar]

Hey Goldberry, your CUT is from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, right? Awesome movie!

And disembowel has one "l"

[Arathin]

Who's sig is too long? Not mine! Mine is only two lines long and from the Princess Bride. No one would ever erase Princess Bride stuff. That would be right up there with Tolkien sacralige!

[Goldberry344]

ya its from men in tights. i love that movie. now i just have to think of a new sig cause people started stealing my ultra cool idea

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Grins and holds up her sig (who Shadowfax so smartly made up) who no one has coppied*

[Shadowfax]

Hey, Smeagol, you wouldn't happen to have seen that pic they have on this one website (can't recollect which one) of "Agent Elrond" (I have it on my school binder. My school binder is my Tolkien Humor shrine. If you listen very carefully, you can hear Merry and Pippin saying "Help us, Help us, the creepy lady has imprsoned us in the math section, OH THE HORRORS OF TRIG!" ) heehee

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Grins and points to her AIM buddy icon* Yep. Its mine,, all mineee. Muahahahaha!

Heh, sounds like my math notebook and my locker, and Goldberry's planner.

*Legolas from inside Smeagol's locker* Help! I believe I have developed a tangle! The lack of sun has given me a pale complexion! Help! Can I get some food in here?!

[Shadowfax]

*huggles hobbits* yep, M&P make fourth period just a little more bearable.
**binder voices~"Help me, help meeeeeee....!"
incidentally, my math teacher was less than amused when I told him Pippin had eaten my homework. Hey that gives me an idea!

Merry: (to the schoolmaster) NO! I swear Pip DID eat it!

[Gandalf_White]

In Moria, Gandalf says: Don't leave without me!
Frodo: Hey, Boromir, would you mind holding the Ring for a while?
Sam: Mr. Frodo, go ahead and leave. I don't want to have anything more to do with your quest.
Saruman: Gandalf tell me where the Ring is. If you don't I'll lock you up. If you do tell me I'm still gonna lock you up.
Pippin: (as he smokes a pipe) Now remember kids smoking is bad for you.

I am gonna think up some more. This is really fun!:D :D :D

[Arathin]

Shadowfax your odd, and I lovya. Gandalf_white those are very very funny.

Gandalf: *starts singing to Eminem's song 'I am whatever you say I am'*

[Shadowfax]

Heehee, odd people rule. Actually, I prefer mad. Sound more 'Brit'-esque doncha know. I am currently trying to find a bumpersticker I saw once, that says "You all laugh at me because I'm different but I laugh at you because you're all the same"

weeeeee...I'm excited! I'm going to see "Spirit" tonight! It's the first night its out here, so ecnerwal and I are going to a reallly late showing, so hopefully we will miss the hordes of little kids. Goldberry344 and all you other horse people out there, tell me what you think of it.

Frodo: *Walks into the CoE wearing Oaklys, a big medallion and chain, baggy pants~the Rapper works. M,P,&S all follow wearing tuxedos and shades, and earpieces.*

[Arathin]

that is great! I am a horse person, but I don't know if I will see Spirit in theaters. I more like real horseys.

Elrond at the council: *wearing agent clothing* Mr. Baggins.

Elrond: *same as up top just change words to:* It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. Everytime I breath it in, I fear that I have in some way been contaminated by it. It's disgusting. I need those codes to Mordor and you have them and you are going to give them to me. Once Mordor is destroied there is no need for me to stay here.

sorry have to stop there that is all I know and I am not even sure about that stuff.

[Shadowfax]

I am a little nervous about seeing it, 'cause something always dies in those movies, and, well, let's just say that the only movies I cried at b4 LotR was "The Neverending Story" and "The Man From Snowy River" if you catch my drift.

Ring Wraiths at the Ford: We are the Nazgul. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated. Your rings will be added to our own.

[elanor_sunstar]

:eek: Gandalf: die, die, everybody die, muhhahaha.

or

Gandalf (again): ok, i know lets send a couple of hobbits on this ****** quest there worthless, they're no good in battle and they're small enough to use as toothbrushes and theres plenty of them to, so if the first ones fail, why we could always grab a couple of others!

[Shadowfax]

Sign on the Prancing Pony: No Shirt, *No Shoes*, No Service.

Frodo: *beep*

[Arathin]

I like those Gandalf ones, elanor_sunstar. Those are funny.

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Shadowfax
*huggles hobbits* yep, M&P make fourth period just a little more bearable.
**binder voices~"Help me, help meeeeeee....!"
incidentally, my math teacher was less than amused when I told him Pippin had eaten my homework. Hey that gives me an idea!

Merry: (to the schoolmaster) NO! I swear Pip DID eat it!

YOU STOLE HUGGLES!

[Arathin]

Merry to Pippin: I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words how wonderful life is now you're in the world. (Elton John's "your song")

Wait... Merry would sing that to Pippin. Ok Sam to Frodo. Wait... Sam would sing that to Frodo. Oh to hell with it. Never mind. Just ignore this whole frelling post. Ugh!

[Shadowfax]

TeeHee, I like your sig Arathin. btw, you wouldn't happen to have a Hot Topic store in your area?

Confidential to WTS: Go Ducks!

Sam to Bill: What is it boy? Do you want me to follow you? Did Mr. Frodo fall down the well again? Take me to him!

[Theoden]

Gollum: It's ok, Hobbitsess, you keep the ring.

[Shadowfax]

I think this night have been done before but I am too lazy to go through the thread and find out.

Treebeard: "C'mon, spit it out boy, I haven't got all day!"

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Shadowfax

Confidential to WTS: Go Ducks!


Um...why?

[Shadowfax]

Ummm... Huskys? Y'know, that whole um, intercolliegiate rivalry thing? Oh, never mind.

Legolas: Don't move! I just dropped a contact!

[Frodorocks]

Sauron: "Let's all go pick flowers and sing love songs" Gandalf: "(to sauruman) Let's take over the world" Tom bombadil: "(sing song voice)Come on you old silly wight,hurry up and eat 'em.By water, wood, and hill, to a pulp we'll beat 'em...." Sorry these are so bad, I'm not a good poet.:rolleyes: "By Elbereth and Luthien the fair, you shall have neither the Ring nor me!" -Frodo

[Theoden]

Hey, it's my turn to carry the ring! - Sam

Um, where are we going? - Aragorn

Let's start a new club called 'Save the Orcs'! - TreeBeard

Excuse me, that's my line. - Elrond

He is SO hot! - Arwen

Oh, this horse back ride is so much fun! - Gimli

I love sightseeing in Mordor! - Frodo

Adventure is my middle name! - Sam

I need to go get a breath of fresh air. - Sheolob

[Theoden]

Originally posted by Shadowfax
Legolas: Don't move! I just dropped a contact!

I laughed so hard

Very funny

:D:D:D:D:D

[Arathin]

Yes I do have a Hot Topic near me. Several in fact. My sig was "Tact is for people without the wit to use sarcasm." I am so sarcastic that I had to put it up. hehe. I am sorry if I changed it too fast for some of you.

[Shadowfax]

They have the best shirts and bumperstickers. I recently got 2 from there, "Not all who wander are lost" and "You laugh at me because I'm different, but I laugh at you because you're all the same"

[Wonko The Sane]

Oh right...Huskies...Ducks. I get it.

Yeah, but erm..I don't go to UW.

[Shadowfax]

I know, but I guess that in Washington you guys aren't as psychotic as Oregonians about college sports. Or because you don't live in a college town?

Oh, and I know that awhile ago I said that my ff.net nom de plume would be Windfola, but I just discovered that someone else has that same name, so I am going to try to change it to Kookaburra.

Legolas: Hello, I'm your local Avon rep...

[elanor_sunstar]

hey shadowfax, wot about the part at the bottom of ur post to do with gandalf and star wars, thats somethin characters wouldn't say!

[Wonko The Sane]

Legolas: OH NO!! MY ROOTS ARE SHOWING!!!

[Shadowfax]

I already posted it earlier in the thread. But, here is my previous sig:

**Saruman: Palantir, Palantir, in my hand, who is the most powerful Maiar in all the land?

Palantir: *Reply hazy, try again*

And my current sig:

**Taking a page from another crazy, old, wizard, Gandalf waved his hand and assured the Nazgul that "These aren't the hobbits you're looking for. Let us pass."