Things LOTR Characters would never say

[Ariana Undomiel]

This is the first time that I have done this so forgive me if I copy someone or say something totally stupid.

Frodo - "I will take the ring."
Gandalf - "It is your destiny."

Pippin - Food? Naw! I am on a diet.

Legolas - "Hmmm ... Perhaps an ax would be more effective for killing orcs. What am I saying?!?"

[Ariana Undomiel]

Frodo - "No, I will never succumb to the Dark Side."

[Arathin]

Frodo in front of Sauron: You can't have it.
Sauron: Give it to me!
Frodo: Oh ok, but I didn't think you were a Pervy Hobbit Fancier too!

[Arwen Halfelven]

Upon seeing Gandalf the White in the forest, Aragorn says, "Glad to see that you've recovered from that nasty fall you took in Moria!"

[Arathin]

lol. Hey guess what everyone!!!!! I bought FotR yesterday(the day it came out) and the dvd has tons of cool stuff on it.

Aragorn, when Gandalf falls: Don't worry everyone. He comes back in book two and is way more powerful.
Everyone: Darn, we wanted him to die once and for all!!!!!

[Legolas_lover12]

sauron: frodo, i am your father.

[Arathin]

Frodo: nooooooooo!!!!!!!!! first off, you're too tall, second you want to kill me, third you aren't fat, fourth you have no body, fifth you're feet aren't hairy, sixth etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

[Legolas_lover12]

Frodo: and sixth, u aren't as pretty as i am. i mean, common, just look at me;)

[FINGOLFIN]

I an the Lord of the Dance

:D

[Shadowfax]

ANY one doing disco...

Boromir (in a really high voice): Ah, ah, ah,ah, Stayin' Alive, stayin' alive!

[Arathin]

Gandalf, pointy hat and all, doing the tango with.......








Gimli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[theringbearer]

Gimli Dancing around singing:

"My Loneliness is Killing Me!"

[Legolas_lover12]

LOL:D:D:DLOL

[FINGOLFIN]

I need new running shoes....

[Arathin]

Gimli: I need new running shoes.

Legolas: I need some good Dwarven boots. These thin things are no good.

[Morwen]

Aragorn: Dude! where's my car?
Boromir: DUDE!!! Where is MY car?
Frodo: DU-UDE! Where is my frickin ring of a car?
Pippin: DUDE! I thought we're supposed to have horses instead of cars...

[Arathin]

Ah, dude. That is awesome!!!!!

[Muffinly]

"Hello, my name is Pippin and I'm an alcoholic"



or better yet:
"Hello my name is Bilbo and I'm addicted to magical rings."

[Ariana Undomiel]

Frodo - "I wonder how much I could get for this magic ring."

[Arathin]

Tom: I really hate singing. Why am I always the one singing? What I really want to do is ACT!!!

[Goldberry344]

hrum. what if gimli shaved his beard?

[Shadowfax]

Welcome back, Goldberry! Did you have a good time at camp?

[I.am.Smeagol]

Goldberry! *Tackle Hug Snug* I shall call or email or pm you or somthing now!

[Arathin]

*hugs Goldie* I missesssss you, my precioussssss

[Goldberry344]

camp was okay. people confuse me. and why is arathin parked in my head?

[Gandalf_White]

Welcome back Goldberry!

Frodo(on the slope of Mt. Doom to Sauron): You want it? Go and get it! (Frodo throws the ring in)
Sauron: NOOOOOO! (Jumps into the fire)
Frodo: Wow that was a good and easy way to get rid of HIM. (Pulls the REAL Ring from his pocket) Maybe I can apply to be the next Dark Lord.

[Arathin]

That is great, GW.

[Muffinly]

Sauron-
Please won't you be my neighbor?

[Shadowfax]

*coffee-splutter-monitor* OH! horrible mental image of Mr. Rogers sitting on the throne in Barad-dur...torturing Gollum...eek! Commanding the Nazgul.

"Now, kids, let's go meet our neighbor Mr. Witchking!"

[I.am.Smeagol]

Smeagol (in reference to Shadowfax's amusing tidbit):


*Twitch* *Spasm* *Twitch*
Alllrighttss!!! We shall tell where we's been stolennnn!!! Just no more nassssttyyyy PBS rerunsssssss!!!!! Aaaaaaaa!
*Spasm* *Twitch* *Spasm*

[FINGOLFIN]

Would you like fries with that? :D

[Goldberry344]

Gandalf finds some new, rather "catchy" underwear to show to sharkey...

Saruman- That not yours? You steal from me! I kill you!

Gandalf runs away...

Saruman- IT WAS JOKE! IT WAS JOKE!! HAHAHA.... JOKE!

[Arathin]

*sputters and giggles about Gandalf and Sharky "together"*

[ElvishArcher]

Frodo/sam at the great river...

Frodo: "Sam you cant swim!"
Sam: "The hell i cant!" *swims out and drown*

[Arathin]

The Dairy of the Bar Wenches of the Argonath
By Arathin, Goldie, and Smeagol (the three wenches)


Starring: The Fellowship of the Ring, including Frodo, the Ring, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gimli, Boromir, Legolas, and of course Aragorn.
Unfortunately, Gandalf had already fallen into shadow and “died.” (Of course, as we all know, he just fell into a big thing of bleach.)

Also starring: The three Bar Wenches of the Argonath. Actually, they are just three serving wenches at the famous bar at the Argonath, The Argonath Inn.

Also also starring: The All-powerful Ardvark Narrator, whom shall from now on shall be AN. As I don’t feel like typing Ardvark Narrator out again.

It also includes a few random people staying at the Inn, drinking, eating, and wenching with wenches, but not with the three particular wenches this is about. And there is an Innkeeper, but he doesn’t play that big of a role.

Ok, now on with the Show…….. Show? What show? You know that Show. Ohhhhh, that show… ok.

AN: The three wenches were doing the wonderful things that wenches do, such as wenching and possibly a few other things. We’re not that sure we want to know. Suddenly, Smeagol starts choking on chocolate ice cream. What the ice cream was doing there, in Arda (Middle Earth), we really don’t know, nor do we care to think how Smeagol managed to choke on ice cream. Needless to say, if anyone could choke on chocolate ice cream it is Smeagol.

Smeagol: Hey, I am always the one choking people. Why can’t I choke once in a while?

Arathin: Giggle.

Goldie: Neher!

AN: Anyway, back the story. It was a dark night, as a violent storm was brewing outside the Inn. The only real light came from the huge fire in the middle of the room. No, it was in a fire pit, idiot. Suddenly, the door of the Inn burst open. In walked …….. a few random people who had come to stay at the Inn, drink, eat, and wench. What a second!!! Could it be??? Nope. At this point, Smeagol was turning a vibrate shade of bottle green. This made her look very much like the famous small fetid green Stoor, who is not appearing in this story, or is he??? Arathin and Goldie were frantically running around, acting like they actually cared that Smeagol was slowly choking to death on chocolate ice cream.

Smeagol: ~choking noises, such as cough, sputter, gag~

Goldie: Wait! Shouldn’t it have melted in her throat already?

Arathin: Shuddup! She don’t know that!!!

Smeagol: I think it melte---------

AN: As you can see, something interrupted our dear Smeagol. A gorgeous, blonde Legolas Elf walked into the bar, closely followed by several small, furry footed Sam, Merry, Pippin, and ……

Goldie: FRODO!!!!!!!

AN: Indeed, Hobbits. Also with them was a chunky braided-beard Gimli Dwarf, and finally two sweaty, smelly, but still completely sex-a-licious Aragorn and Boromir Mortal Men. Naturally, the small, round, golden, tempting, unfortunately chained One Ring of Sauron hung about Frodo’s ---

Goldie: Sexy and hicky-a-licous neck.

AN: Yeah….. Right……. Well upon seeing the gorgeous, blonde Legolas, Smeagol proceeded to again begin to choke only this time with more gusto. Legolas bounded across the common room, leaping over tables, chair, your mom, and random other people to save the poor, defenseless, blonde wench. He noticed Smeagol had a beautifully clear complectiong, besides the slight, remaining green tint and asked her, as she could now breath, how she could keep such a complection.

Smeagol: I use Elven Spot Be Gone.

AN: As she was an Elven Wench… Legolas seemed to find this extremely entertaining and soon had the blonde, Elven wench in a dark, dark, dark middle of the room upon the center table. She was glomping him in a most vulgar fashion. In the midst of this flurry of entertaining action, Legolas toupee fell off.

Smeagol: Oh my Eru! I love your mullet!!!

AN: Legolas grinned. “Tis yours. But I love yours more.” He winked.

Smeagol: I didn’t know I had a mullet!

AN: Legolas, “She is more blonder than I is.” Ok, I really don’t wanna know. She then proceeded to continue to glomp her blonde-mullet-locked Elf with even more gusto. Meanwhile and on to the more important characters,

Smeagol: ~glancing up from her mullet man~ Harsh, I heard that!

An: Like we care! And yes that was harsh too. Well, now lets see. Hrum. Goldie. What’s happened to her and….

Goldie: FRODO!

AN: do we really want to know? Ah, well, we’ll start from the beginning. So back at the fellowship’s entering. Goldie was immediately aware of Frodo’s small, but sexy presence. She ran right up to him, got on her knees (so she was about an inch or two shorter than him) and glomped him viciously. Frodo was quite stunned, as he was not used to being randomly glomped by gorgeous brunette wenches. But he soon became very used to the idea. A little too used to the idea. However, it soon became apparent that there was a slight height issue in the relationship. But things can always be fixed.
Boromir had never been a favorite in the fellowship, so Frodo felt that he need not consult the others when taking drastic measures to increase his height. Through a complex self-operation, he used Boromir’s body and made himself taller. From then on, the fellowship carried Boromir’s body around in a small lapis box. When occasion arrived that Boromir may had died, Leggy shot his body with a few orc arrows, and sent him over the falls. A hero’s death. (that’s what they thought)
So Frodo was tall and sexy. And Goldie proceeded to glomp him. Suddenly his toupee fell off.

Goldie: Oh my Eru! You DON’T have a mullet!

Frodo: I know. Duh.

Goldie: I like it like that…..

AN: Need I say more? (Audience: NOOOOOOO!) Right. Now for our final bar wench. Her story is by far the most tragic. Upon seeing Aragorn, Arathin rushed up to him and promptly glomped him……..and missed. Poor Gimli wasn’t used to such behavior, neither was Arathin.

Gimi + Arathin: OHMYGOD!

Arathin: I didn’t expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!

Aragorn (suddenly wearing a bright red cape and carrying a rapier): NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Our chief weapon is fear and surprise…our two weapons are fear and surprise and a ruthless…..our three weapons are fear and surprise and a ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope….is there a pope in middle earth?…..AHA! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear and surprise and a ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope and a Tuesday night out on the town….ah!

Everyone: SHUT UP!

Arathin *blink*: Oh well.

AN: she proceeds to glomp Aragorn anyway. ::sigh:: true love.

And that’s the end of the story of the bar wenches of the Argonath.

[Goldberry344]

oh my. i cant believe i helped write that. jess....where's your cool closing paragraph??

[FINGOLFIN]

Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce
Special orders dont upset us
All we ask is that you let us serve it your way.....

Of course you have to pull right up to the window in Orthanc to hear him...the intercom is broken.:D

[Shadowfax]

BAD MEMORIES!!! AUGH! of being held against my will behind the stupid broiler where we cooked manflesh for a more frightening menace than the U-h...disgruntled customers...noooooo...*twitch*

[I.am.Smeagol]

Continuation of The Dairy of the Bar Wenches of the Argonath

AN: Now you must be asking, if the fellowship was so content with our little group of wenches, why did they leave the Argonath Inn, then? Well the answer is simple… The fellowship (or what remained of it after the little incident with Boromir and Gandalf’s bleach pool party) was quite content. Gimli had gotten over his brief but enthusiastic glomping, Sam, Merry and Pippin were unfortunately having a hobbit glomping threesome, scary it twas.

Wench Smeagol and her dear blond elf were still glomping on the center table, Arathin and Aragorn were glomping overly contently in-between discussions of the Spanish Inquisition which usually ended with Arathin glomping him to shut him up. Goldie was still glomping her new and improved Frodo with added height.

Suddenly the door to the inn barged open and in crawled in a rather fetid green stoor; yes the real Smeagol not the wench who shared his namesake.

Wench Smeagol (which we now must call her to avoid confusion): DADDY!?

Legolas: *Blinks* Waiiiitttttttt a second.. I Though you were an elf…?

Wench Smeagol: Well, you see, Im actually the love child of Smeagol and Elrond,, sooo wellllll, technically…..

Legolas: Good enough. *Glomp*

AN: Anywho…. At least there is no incest involved…

Arathin: What the heck is Real!Smeagol doing here?

Smeagol: Uhmmmm, I dunno…? Oh yeah, now I remember. I was sent to remind the fellowship to hurry up already. The Witch King is getting impatient and threatened more flipper re-runs on me if I didn’t, so uhm yeah.. Plus I need my Preeeccccioooouuusssss back. Please? *Glares at Frodo*

Aragorn: I suppose we must go, but we are taking our wenches with us!

Legolas: *Pokes Aragorn* Uhm, what about Arwen?

Aragorn: Arwen who?

Legolas: You know the elf princess who promised you her immo-

Arathin: SHUT UP Legolassss! *Glare* We need not remind them….

Legolas: Shutting up.

AN: The fellowship proceeded on their way, along with their bar wenches and the green fetid one swimming behind them, still pretending that they did not know he was following him.

Smeagol: Preccciouuussssss.

AN: The End. Or is it? Wait it is. Maybe?

Hopfully?

Possibly?

Never…?

Wench Smeagol: *Strangles AN*

AN: …



Glossary

Glomp- To Hug with Enthusiasm

[Goldberry344]

YAY SMEAGSSSSSS your my hero. except you made them leave......

[Arathin]

They took us, ermmm... I mean the wenchs with them, Goldie.

[Muffinly]

this is horrible.
Anyway,



























Saruman- Bring the spam to me, unspoiled.

[FINGOLFIN]

I can't seem to get my contacts in...!!!

[Legolas_lover12]

Legolas: Now where did i put my glasses? .......I always seem to be losing them ..........

:DLOL:D

[Muffinly]

Borimir- The glasses? they're on your forehead.

[Hawk]

Legolas: *looks at his bow* I don't know how to use this thing!

[FINGOLFIN]

Someone on the hillside with Frodo
Someone on the hillside I know...ohohoh
Some on the hillside with Frodo
Trying to take the ring and go

Oh Boromir won't you blow
Boromir wont you blow
Boromir wont you blow you hor...or..orn

Oh Boromir won't you blow
Boromir wont you blow
Boromir wont you blow you horn


:D

[Goldberry344]

that is awesome!!!! :D :D

[I.am.Smeagol]

That is! *Sings along* Quite amusing I say.

[FINGOLFIN]

I thought it was pretty funny too when I thought of it. :D

[Legolas_lover12]

LOL:D:D:Du always say the funniest things:D:D:D

[FINGOLFIN]

I was raised in a clown school where the teachers used to beat me with whoopee cushion. When I was bad they made me stay after school and clean all the rubber noses while sitting in a abnormally small car. :D

[Arathin]

rolfmao!

Well I think that the whole * Boromir's Horn of Gondor* is the funniest thing in the world.

[Goldberry344]

no way.....me too........except not....... ;)

[FINGOLFIN]

I'm sorry, I am still kinda new to the jargon used in chat.....what is "rolfmao"?

[Arathin]

Goldie, your my best friend and I still don't get what you're saying half the time.

roflmao?
r-rolling
o-on (the)
f-floor
l-laughing
m-my
a-@$$
o-off

[FINGOLFIN]

Thanks....I thought it was something like that, just wanted to know exactly....:D

[Arathin]

No Problemoos. *giggles* I is having a groovy and crazy night.

[Legolas_lover12]

i was wondering about that too.
and the *boromir's horno f gondor* is V. funny!!!! LOLOLOL.

[Goldberry344]

oh, shuddup, arathin. you are so weird. unlike me. ;)

[Arathin]

Oh yeah, you're soo normal, Goldie. Just the most normal person in the world.

[Goldberry344]

ya i am. you dont even know. ;)

[Anamatar IV]

Gimli-...i would like but a hair from your head

Galadriel-Well tough luck. ive just been toying with you. Go away and never think of me again.

Gimli-Why you peice of dragon ****! *swings axe and starts chopping up galadriel*

[Goldberry344]

violent are we? hilarious all the same.

[Arathin]

This forum attracts many violent people.

[I.am.Smeagol]

Violent? Nah. I mean, I enjoy killing the occasional juggler, stabbing people, or occasionally being run through the ribs, but Im never violent....

[Arathin]

Oh and bitting my fingers off to get my rings isn't violent?

[I.am.Smeagol]

Of course not.

[FINGOLFIN]

Just a matter of practical necessity (sp?).

[Arathin]

Oh yeah, biting off my fingers for my rings is totally a necessity of life. :rolleyes:

[I.am.Smeagol]

Yes, it is. You see, as a vegetarian, I limit my self to not eating animals,, but that ne'er stopped me from bitting the fingers from humans and halflings!

[Arathin]

oh yeah i am sure. well you haven't my fingers yet!!!









~Arathin the TWENTY fingered!!!

[Gandalf_White]

Frodo: Sam, you can't swim!

Sam: Oh, yeah, that's right. Well good luck in Mordor, Mr. Frodo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: Hey, Gimli, can I try your axe.

Gimli: Sure but only if I get to try your bow.

[FINGOLFIN]

Do you have a match?

[Arathin]

Frodo: I want to grow a bread. A nice thick one like your Gimli. How *do* you do it?

[Goldberry344]

arathin, you mean a bierd, not a bread....lol!

[FINGOLFIN]

You mean a beard...not a bierd. Even more LOL!:D

[I.am.Smeagol]

*Face palms*

I can’t believe I hang around with these dolts. You both do mean beard, right?

Sillies. =P

[I.am.Smeagol]

Hrm, me'n FINGOLFIN posted at the same time, both 15:57... Why is his first...? The wonders of vbulletin.. :rolleyes: ;)

[Goldberry344]

because he's cooler than you. so there.

and shuddup. we all know i have problems....acctually i meant beird....

[FINGOLFIN]

I like you...:D

[Legolas_lover12]

and i like both of u!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D

[steel_rose]

frodo to ringwraths: Ring? you mean he wants this thing? sure he can have it. just dont tell gandalf.

Arwen : Aragorn, what a dolt. I mean he could be a king in a nice place. But NOOO, he has to wonder middle earth full of sorrow and bent on ridding the world of evil! WHATEVER!!

hehe (having way to much fun)


Sam: Now listen mr. Frodo, i am just sick of following you around like a lost puppy. No, here is where i put my foot down. There is nooo way you can make go to mordor *shudders*

[Goldberry344]

everyone likes me. :) (even if i cnat speeel.)

[FINGOLFIN]

You are one of my favorites too.

Everyone should visit her site!:)

[Arathin]

Yes, everyone should definately visit Goldie's site. It is amusing.

Did you read my guestbook entre, Goldie?

[I.am.Smeagol]

Both LL and Goldie have mad cool sites. Huzzah! (LL, the photo album is great! But we need some of Elrond!!!!!!!!!! *Swoon* ;))

But we all know mine, is the most mad coolest. :D ;) :p [insert selfish plug here]iamsmeagol.net [/end selfish plug]



Anywho, many of you have prolly seen this before, but I came across it one day randomly surfing and thought of this thread.. Its a mad cool site that has mad cool Legolas paper dolls you can dress up like superman, wearing a kilt, and give him heart boxers!!!

http://www.dazzled.com/theobfiles/paperdoll.html

Now thats something you wouldnt see in the books.... :rolleyes:

[FINGOLFIN]

I beg to differ.....my site is the best of its kind on the planet...Thag you berry mugh! :D

[Goldberry344]

my site isnt done yet.....

ah, no matter how cool the #1999 is, this is my 2000 post. i wasnt gonna post it, but now i have to. and ya, i read your entry, jen. :) Smeagol got the what number comes after 2 question wrong. we got it right. :)

[Legolas_lover12]

goldberry - wat du yow meen yuu cnat speel??? ie theenk uu cann speel jost fiiin. ;)

FINGOLFIN - thanx!!! i'm glad u like mah site!!!

I.am.smeagol - those were funny!!! LOLOLOL!!! :D:D:D

[Goldberry344]

you reely meen tat, Legulass lugger? tamk you berry muck, eye alwes thot tat my speeling waas berry baad.

[Legolas_lover12]

noe, yowr speeleng esnet thett baad. et isss ebowt ess guud ess miene;)

[My_Precious]

Yeah, I need to finish my two sites ASAP. Golberry, I signed your guestbook, don't fall off the chair.;)

[Goldberry344]

aya, me prekious! tank u berry muck. eye shell reed et esep.

new, leggguls lubber, eyed habe two sei dat mey spewing es propalpalpably weerser dan urs.

[Arathin]

*hides from the spelling* No! No! Not the spelling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cowers in the arms of some tall dark Vampire that randomly appears*:D

[Goldberry344]

*tall dark vampire suddenly starts to suck arathins blood and she dies. how sad* ;)

[Arathin]

ha ha ha. very funny you ardvark. you just wish that would happen because you're jealous of me and my truck.




and my vampires.

[Goldberry344]

well, you are obviously jealous of my word, cause you keep using it.

[Anamatar IV]

Originally posted by Legolas_lover12
noe, yowr speeleng esnet thett baad. et isss ebowt ess guud ess miene;)

maey ie assck whie yoouu gys ar maeking fuon uv mie?

[Arathin]

you're so delusional.

[Goldberry344]

oh, shut your festering gob you *bad word* your type really makes me puke, you stuffy nosed, malloderous ardvark

[Legolas_lover12]

Wow, i sure have missed a lot!!!!

Anamatar IV - whutt meeks ooo thunk wii eere meekang fuun uuve yowe?!?!?!:rolleyes:

Goldberry334 - yiiis, eye theenk uuu ayre wrytee. yuuu dou speel biitrr theen miie.;)

Arathin - you can keep your vampire. and u need to think up your own new word. like mine is now ZEBRA.;):D:rolleyes:

[Arathin]

*blinks at everyone* I need a word? Fine. um........ TREE! my word is tree. *growls at anyone who thinks of stealing her word*

[Goldberry344]

Arathin, that is a bad word. the word tree may come up in random conversation such as "look at that tree" you might want to choose a word a bit more exotic such as "Sasquatch" or something. and dont use that one cause that would just go to show how uncreative you truly are. ;)

[Legolas_lover12]

or u could use ...umm ...let's see weird word ...pottbellied pig!!!! that is kool;):rolleyes:

[Anamatar IV]

POTBELLIED PIG! I just saw that episode of south park last night!

[Goldberry344]

she has to think up her own word, though, otherwise it doesnt count!

[Legolas_lover12]

Goldberry - ok. sorry. just trying to help her ...

Anamatar IV - sorry. i don't watch southpark ...

[Goldberry344]

its all good, legolaslover

[Anamatar IV]

they tried to breed a pig with an elephant for a project. in the mean time stands gramps wanted stan to kill him. So funny. So so funny.

[Goldberry344]

yes....sounds hilarious...... ;)

[Legolas_lover12]

... yes ...a real riot;):rolleyes:

[I.am.Smeagol]

Well, I have a list of word! To booyeah!

Bloody, Indeed, you'd best, mad cool, boo yeah, bah, niegheaar (kinda a rolling g type sound, it sounds like somthing Smeagol would say)

:D :p ;)

Bloody he** I forgot the mention that I couldnt goto my horse show today. Bloody rain. Bloody 50 degree weather. Bloody lack of stall at the show grounds. No silly looking pics of me in a cowboy hat for the forum photo album now. Bah.

[Goldberry344]

Does that mean we could ride bobo tomraroo..... ;)

[I.am.Smeagol]

Muh Lesson is tues, and as I have an inportant dressage show comming up (im eligable for end of the year high point!), my instructor would be mildly irked to say the least if I canceled it.... But after my next show, (the 8th), ya can ride mon, wed, thurs, or sun. ^_^


Shadowfax:

Thats it Gandy, do you have any idea how much you weigh? I cant take this any more. And then you go and throw another hobbit on with ya. I quit. Buh Bye..

Or as we would hear it.

Neigh, whinny, snort. *Buck.*

[Legolas_lover12]

LOLOLOLOL

neigh, whinny, snort. *Buck*

[FINGOLFIN]

Left town for two days and suddenly I can't understand a thing you guys are saying...Holy ****!

[Goldberry344]

NEHER, silly fingolfin person!

[Legolas_lover12]

*LL12 magically turns FINGOLFIN into a horse so he can understand them all better*

"neigh, snort, whinny, neigh, neigh, snort"

[Goldberry344]

*whinny neigh snort snort KICK BITE*

[Legolas_lover12]

"snort, snort, whinny"

*rears and charges*

[Arathin]

neigh, whinny, neigh, snort, whinny, snort rear

[Goldberry344]

Neigh whinny snort spook nowayamigonnajumpthat...

[Arathin]

That is my Elmo horsy!!!!!!!! Good Goldie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Or more


neigh whinny whinny!!!!!! whinny neigh neigh whinny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Goldberry344]

yes, elmo is your horsie, and he was somewhat of a twerp. like you.... ;)

[Arathin]

Yes he is mine, and we are not twerps!

[I.am.Smeagol]

Bobo: Neigh winny, snort, Bradddd Pitttttt, snort, whinny.

[FINGOLFIN]

Wheeze.....cough....snort.....neigh!

[Shadowfax]

Originally posted by Goldberry344
*whinny neigh snort snort KICK BITE*

add a rear and a buck in there, and you would have done a perfect imitation of my ex-horse. *sniff* had to sell her...my mother was getting tired of the medical bills...*sniff* need to ride...mmmm...MUST RIDE...(sorry folks, I'm going through withdrawl...)

[Goldberry344]

hrum. i.am.smeagol's horse has a crush on bradd pit. silly mr. bojangels.

[Arathin]

I know what ya mean, ShadowFax. I had to sell my Elmo. Poor thing... I miss him!!!!!!!!!

[Legolas_lover12]

I WANNA HORSIE... oh wait ...i am one!!!!


*neigh whinny snort snort neight cough stomp*

(maybe we should get a thearepist around here)

[Goldberry344]

*wants a horsie too* *sigh*

[steel_rose]

ok what did i miss?? horsie? i want a horse!

[I.am.Smeagol]

Gandalf:

Pony rides!!!! Come get your pony rides!! Hey kids, do you want to ride this mighty steed of Rohan? You do? It's only 5 copper pennies! Pony rides! Get your pony rides!


Shadowfax:

*Glare*

[Arathin]

Oh is ShadowFax "Snape Scowling", smeags? Does it look like your "Snape Scowl"? lol

the above in horse....

snicker neigh whinny snicker neigh neigh whinny

[I.am.Smeagol]

Yes it is the horse equivalent of my Snape Scowl TM, only if you laugh at Shadowfax he'll trample you, unlike me, who'll just Snape Scowl TM again.

[Anamatar IV]

i would really consider this sight getting a therapist. There are some people, or should i say horses, here that really and i mean really really really need help:) Back on topic...i want a horse!

[Arathin]

*gasps and cries in horror* I need help!?!? *huddles in a corner with her horse Elmo and sobs* He is mine, I tell you. Mine! Mine! Mine, I tell you! I swear he IS mine! Mine! Back off!!!

[Anamatar IV]

calm yourself arathin. We'll get you to a real nice guy with some real comfy couches.

[Arathin]

Like a young, cute guy with big, comfy couches??? *her mind is in the gutter as you can tell......*

[Anamatar IV]

no...like an old guy with glasses, a goatee, a ph.d, you know...the people that help people like you." anamatar is very scared of the arathin person.

[Arathin]

*sticks out her tongue at Anamatar and whines* I wanna guy just outta collage!!!! *glares evilly at Anamatar*

[Anamatar IV]

30 years IS just out of college. *quickly grabs hold of arathins tongue and pulls on it really hard. He then scurried away avoiding the wrath of the derranged mental patient

[Arathin]

*jumps over a table and lands on Anamatar's back* No one pulls my tongue and gets away with it!!! *starts playing the drums on Anamatar's head with rolls of wax. Suddenly Bother by Stone Sour starts playing. Arathing happily starts singing to it as she plays the drums on Anamatar's head.*

[Anamatar IV]

anamatar takes one of the wax things and hit arathin(g) on the head with it. "Notice the hollow sound?"

[Legolas_lover12]

"why yes anamatar. i do hear the hollow sound...";)

or


"neigh neigh neigh whinny snort snort stomp cough neigh *wink*"

[Anamatar IV]

anamatar threw arathing against the wall.

just so these antics wont get the thread closed:
Sam: Would you let me carry it for you (on mt doom)

Frodo: Hells yes! Take the thing. your loss not mind.

[Goldberry344]

of course arathin's head is hollow *knew that already*

[Anamatar IV]

okay-now thats just mean.

[Arathin]

Not really. She has known me over six years now irl. Sad isn't it? I am just anti-social and violent tonight. I might go kill something small and furry or maybe just dl some music. prolly the later. well if you see me in the news and not at school, Goldie and Smeags, you know what happened... I finally killed the hobbit Pippin(my brother) Anyway, I have had a very irking day so please, for your own safty, stay back! This is your only warning... Head my words, or else you're next payment will be in blood. :D J/k, but please do leave me alone. Feeling very anti-social...

[FINGOLFIN]

small beanies on all your heads...i would swear you were all quite mad.....the horror,....the horror....:)

[Arathin]

beanies...?

btw, I am quite mad. I believe the term is "Cronically Insane". I was falsely convicted of this though. They only say I am cronically insane because no one believes me about the little Elves that dance around in my head and tell me what to do.... oh! wait! You aren't suppose to know about them!!!! *sits innocently twiddling her thumbs in a corner*

[FINGOLFIN]

Does the little elf ask for lembas?

[Legolas_lover12]

was this the thread that we were talking about ampires sucking on your neck...and some vampire named Lestat or something like that ...

[Anamatar IV]

i havent bothered reading the previous pages but...how in erus name did it get from misplaced charecter quotes, to favorite words, to whacking eachother, and then to vampires?

[I.am.Smeagol]

Lestat is my vampire, er, one of them. And yes, this was that thread. Anywho, I bet you guys didnt know Sauron had a vampire, yep, yep, okay, most likely you guys did know that, well I found out a couple of days ago, so yeah. *Feels Smart* :rolleyes:

[Anamatar IV]

okay...this thread used to be great once. now its just fun to watch.

[Legolas_lover12]

ok, cuz i was thinking about seeing queen of the damned (if my mom will let me) and i was reading the back of the case at the movie store and i saw the name Lestat and though of our ...um ...discussion;) anyway, i was wrong - i would like to have him sucking on my neck;)...

[Anamatar IV]

i saw queen of the damned. Oh how stupid it was! Worse than 6 degrees of seperation (now whos seen that one :rolleyes: )

[Legolas_lover12]

LOL. why did u not like it?? i might see it tomorrow night ...

[Anamatar IV]

theres something about an evil dammned witch who's always if the mods will exuse my terms...turning up the funk and killing everyone that makes me not like it.

[Legolas_lover12]

yah, that kinda bugs me too. but there has to be more to the movie than that ...it can't just be like two hours of her "turning up the funk"...

[Anamatar IV]

its just stuff like out of world movies doesnt attract me. I havent seen either of the mummies or the scorpian king. I didnt see planet of the apes but i see stuff like spider man, star-wars (thats the one exception-a classic) stuff like that.

[I.am.Smeagol]

ARGGG! The movie BITES! *No pun intented* Its horrible, irrelevant, tripe! (heh, my latest phrase). If you want vampires read the BOOK 'Queen of the Damned', but first read I'nterview with the Vampire' and 'the Vampire Lestat.' [/end rant] ;) Oh, but Stuart Townsend ('Statty in the movie QotD) can come nibble on my neck any time he likes... *Giggle*

Anywho, back on topic.

Frodo: Mordor!
Sam: Mordor!
Smeagol: Its only a model.
Frodo: Shh. Men, errr, hobbits, errr, fetid green one and hobbit; I bid you welcome to our new home! Let us march to Mordor!

*In Barad-dur*

Nazgul:
We're Wraiths out of fable.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Lugbúrz.
We eat lots of microwave din-errrz.

We're Wraiths out of fable.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
Our voice boxes have long been rot.
Yet we sing from the diaphragm a lot.

*Big eye wreathed in flame*
Blink Blink Blink Blink

Nazgul:
[tap-dancing]
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
And yes, our boddies may be rot.

Orc:
I have to lug stuff around a-lottttt.....

Do do do do do do doooo do do do dooo-do!

Frodo: Well, on second thought, let's not go to Mordor. It is a silly place.
Sam & Smeagol: Right Right.


*Bows* Thank you, thank you. ;)
:rolleyes:

[Legolas_lover12]

well i saw all those movies u just mentioned. and i think i'll see this one ...even if the only good thing in the whole movie is gonna be Lestat;) *drool* WoW

[Goldberry344]

ah, smeags, we started that....i cant believe you did the song, that kicks major arse!!!!!!!!!!! *wants to see the vampire movie cause she loved the book and she wants to see a sexy brad pitt and bobo*

[Anamatar IV]

alright i cant post under these conditions. When people call bradd pitt sexy thats when i leave.

[Arathin]

The Elves in my head do eat lembas. I make it almost daily. If you want to know how, it is on Smeag's website. [bestfriend'ssiteboost] It is Iamsmeagol.net [/endbestfriend'ssiteboost] lol

btw, that was totally kick arse, smeag's. I can't believe you had the time to do the whole song!!!

[Legolas_lover12]

well tell me which books to read. in the correct order please. and include the authors name. because if i need my bookstore to see if they have them or can order them i need to know the authors name. anyway i think i'll still se the movie. even though most of u don't seem to like it ...

[Anamatar IV]

on to a differnt movie-should i see triple x? Post on the thread i posted in stuff and bother.

[Legolas_lover12]

A) Bradd Pitt is hott!!!!

B) i don't know i haven't seen it.

[Anamatar IV]

okay-i am stepping away frolm this thread and never coming back. now thats something a lotr charecter would never say.

[Legolas_lover12]

well, gimli might. LOL. and i'm sorry u feel that way. i'll see u at the guild of mithril knights and GOO. ;)

[Anamatar IV]

*mutters as he walks away* bradd pitt! SHEESH! these people have been abusing medical marijuana.

[Goldberry344]

ah, triple x....the only good thing about that movie was the awesome amount of things that got blown up.... :D

[Anamatar IV]

so i should see it? I love things that blow up. Ever fill a tennis ball with gasoline and light a fuse?

[Goldberry344]

its a great movie, go see it. but it lacks in plot and acting skill... ;)

[Beorn]

Things LOTR Characters would never say

What?

Please stay somewhat close to the original point of the thread...AIM or MSN or Yahoo are all good for chatting.

[Legolas_lover12]

oh just let us talk Beorn. if u think this thread is stupid and not related to LOTR then just move it to stuff and bother.

and i'm still waiting for the names of those vampire books ...;)vampires r kool ...my mom thinks i'm crazy ...and i have no idea why ...;):rolleyes::D

[Goldberry344]

*sigh* the books are called the Vampire Chronicals, the first one is called...er....Interview with a vampire (i think) the second is The Vampire Lestat.

hrum. *imagines frodo as a vampire*

[Anamatar IV]

*comes back to thread* im gone for 1 day and already this thread is on the brink of closing or being moved. *shakes head*

Gollum after he realises bilbo has his ring: FINALLY! Ive been waiting for some sap to take that ring. Now to finish my memoirs. AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! STOLEN!!!! PRECCCIOOOOUSSSS memoirs!

[Arathin]

Gandalf- starts rhyming everything he says just like Fezzic from the Princess Bride.

[steel_rose]

Originally posted by Beorn


What?

Please stay somewhat close to the original point of the thread...AIM or MSN or Yahoo are all good for chatting.


ok here is some sorry if they stink!


ringwraths:(knocking on frodos door) um.. hey mr hobbit sir can we come in?

frodo: sure! i love company!

sam:(the only sane one) NOOO!! Mr.Frodo they is bad people!!

frodo: oh sam CHILL!!

Like i said it stinks!

[Legolas_lover12]

so there are only two books?? only two?? ok kool. interview with the vampire and the vampire lestat. who is the author though??? i need to know.

Aragorn : Stop that rhyming i mean it!!!

Gandalf : Anybody want a peanut??

LOL

[Arathin]

*giggles at L_L's thing*

I don't know what the books are, but there are way more than two. the auther is Anne Rice, i think.... Ask I.am.Smeagol

[Anamatar IV]

Pippin: Peanuts!?! Thats enough food for the day.

[Legolas_lover12]

well, she hasn't been here for awhile. i'll PM her i guess.... and just out of curiocity how many are there???

__________________________________________
Elrond - "INCONCIEVABLE!!!!"

[Goldberry344]

i.am.smeagol...well, i just told her u wanted to know about them, it all depends oh how lazy she is... ;)

very soon it will be time for another diary, but i am way to lazy to write one now. and i have way too much hmwk, but heads up.... *evil cackeling laugh heard*

[Anamatar IV]

Aragorn: Aid me or thwart me! Choose swiftly!
Eomer: I choose to thwart you *raises sword*
aragorn: No NO NO NO NO NO i didnt mean that literally *drops andril and runs away screaming
Gimli: And THIS is the next king of gondor? *hears aragorn screaming in the background.

[Legolas_lover12]

LOLOL. that is a funny scene to play out on ur head;);):rolleyes:

[Anamatar IV]

cant you just see aragorn running back and forth screaming.

[Goldberry344]

nah, aragorn would be like, "Puny excuse of a man, I AM ARAGOR, ELENDIL, Ellessar, Elfstone, wingfoot, the heir of gondor, strider, the hater of goldie's pathetic mouse, now gimme a horse."

[Anamatar IV]

I want to add to that:

Legolas: And elrond thinks he can lead us through the paths of the dead. Yeah right. Like that will ever happen. *shoots 2 riders* there gimli-now we have horses.

[Goldberry344]

lol....i thought leggy would just nance about like a proper maiden.... i mean elf...

[Anamatar IV]

i think thats been done.

[Goldberry344]

ah, you're right. in the movie.... ;)

[Anamatar IV]

no...i actaully took the time (YOU SEE THAT! IM NOT LAZY!) to read ALL the pages of this. They have legolas prancing around, frodo selling the ring, pretty funny stuff.

[Goldberry344]

lol....i know...i've been posting here since near the beginning. but it doesnt matter if its already been done, its still humerous. if you ask me.

[Arathin]

yes legsie is nancing about quite a bit in this thread. i too have been here since basically the beginning. so it has all been amusing.

[Anamatar IV]

i get so jeleous (sp) not being in forums from the beginning because i miss all these threads and id be up until this time next year to read them all.

[Arathin]

yes it is nice. at one point, i was in like i think it was top 5 posters on here. oh well. now i am lucky to get to a comp soemtimes.

[Anamatar IV]

well in the 1st day everyones in the top something.

[Goldberry344]

ah, i am such an addict. i went away for 2 months and was still in the top 10. but most of my posts are in the rpg sec, i tink....

[Gandalf_White]

Sauron: I'll pay you anything for that ring! If only you'll give it to me!

Frodo: Well this is no cheap piece of jewelry it's 14 karat gold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lol. I like that one about Aragorn.

[Muffinly]

Sauron: "I am the muffin man! HAHAHA!!"

Pippen: "He's lying. I once met the muffin man. He gave me a biscuit."

[Arathin]

Sauron, pre-last allience of men and elves: Yo, I gots a sweet @$$ violent, intelligent ring and you'll never defeat me!!!!

Sauron, post-last allience of men and elves: Yo, I gots no body! Who needs that dam ring. This is sweet, man! Yo, Ringwraith No. 5 you can't see me!

Ringwraith No. 5: one, two, three, four, five.
I don't know the next verse.
something along the lines
of Nazgul numba five

[Anamatar IV]

Aragorn:You expect me to heal HER!?!?

[Legolas_lover12]

this might have been sed before ...

_____________________________________________

Legolas : I LOVE YOU GIMLI!!!;):rolleyes:

[Goldberry344]

Things LOTR characters would NEVER say.


But Leggy WOULD say that....

[Wonko The Sane]

Aragorn when Frodo stares at him in the bar:

How YOU doin'?

[Gandalf_White]

Legolas: (to Gimli) I think I'll grow a beard.

Gimli: (to himself) Gee and I was gonna shave mine off.

[Wonko The Sane]

Aragorn (in response to Boromir's outburst): You're right...Gondor needs no king...I'm going back to bed.

[*Lady Aragorn*]

Originally posted by Wood Elf
Things they would NOT say:

Elrond to Aragorn: Sure, you can have her(Arwen), whatever man.

Legolas: Oooo! Let's jump in the mud puddle!

Pip: Me hungry? No thanks, I'll pass!

Hehe, this is fun! :)

that's funny! i like the one with pippin....

[Nefmariel]

sorry if this has been said before:

Aragorn: oh its just 10 Uru-Kai...eek run for your life!

[reem]

frodo to golum: could you hold this (the ring)a minute please? i need to tie my shoe lace.
sam to frodo on the way to mordor: stop hoggin all the water you insensitive pig!
one of the nazgul: need a ride pal?

[*Lady Aragorn*]

these were HILARIOUS!! :D

[Muffinly]

Were?:confused:

[Wonko The Sane]

Legolas, removing his long blond tresses which we all know is a wig: Iluvatar this thing is itchy!!!

[klugiglugus]

Frodo to Sam: I don't like you any more, screw you guys I am going home!

Gimli to Frodo: I am bigger than you wee man! Hobbit boy!

Aragorn: Diz iz wack mah homies, yoo crack'az bettah keep that bling-bling fro' dat honkey! Kill Whitey!:D

[moon cloud]

galadriele: *drags cigarrette* wha's on the F*cking telly? not that ER b*llocks. "oh boo hoo hoo my son just got his leg cut off" - GET A LIFE, w*nk*r. *cracks whip* oi, lovedwarf, my bath ready yet?
gimli: She gave me three hairs! three hairs from her plughole! She's a lady, indeed.

*******

Aragorn: *southern drawl* yiss. We had that frodo boy out back jist th' othir day. Gawt som perty-lookeen ring. Me and merl, we strung 'im up and trayded it. Gawt me a brrrand new tv. And Missy - thass ma pig - she was fed off 'im for a month. Hobbit meat...hot damn, its juicy.

[Isenho]

the members of the fellowship greeting each other for the first time

"Sup"

[Baranlas]

i havent read all these but there funny, im sorry to all the people who can think of desent ones,

Frodo:"i was all for lying my head on your lap sam, but whats that poking in my ear?"

sorry for goin a bit cruder i just thought id post it :p

[Cobain]

Mordor Orc: I think I should get out more don't you think my skin's getting a little pale??

Frodo: Shake n vac and put the freshness back...

Sauron: I see skys of blue, clouds of white.....and I think to myself....what a wonderful world!

[Elfhelm25]

hee hee these are amusing

Frodo - How the hell did I get stuck with ***EDITED BY ANCALAGON***anyway
( referring to the ring or Sam )

Orc - I dont understand why everyone discriminates against me just because I cant afford a bath .

Nazgul - I dont know why everyone discrimnates against me just becuase I dress in black . Noone even tries to get to know the real me .

Sauron - I admit it . I HATE the color black . And I miss the sun .

Troll- Just becuase I couldnt afford an education doesnt mean Im stupid .

Galadriel - Every day I think about getting a divorce .

Arwen - I wear the pants in this relationship .

[Elfhelm25]

by these i mean everyone elses not my own

[Mablung]

Witch King: To be honest I don't care about the ring my real passion is country western music.

[Arwen Halfelven]

I've been cuop & I'm still roflol!!!!!!

Frodo to Boromir: Take the stupid Ring & stop picking on me!!!!!

Legolas to Gimli: You're short & I'm not!

Legolas to Gimli: Elves rule and dwarves drool!

Aragorn to Hobbits in Midgewater Marshes: If you guys had just used "OFF" like I asked you to do!

[Mablung]

Tom Bombadil: Why come in little Hobbits Goldberry and I were just about to have a discussion on how this whole one ring affair you brought up will affect our Gondorian savings bonds.

Denethor: I love Faramir and hate Boromir.

Sauron in eye form: Where'd my contact go? I can't focus in close without it.

Feanor: Well maybe those gems arent worth all this lets just go back and pick up some cubic zirconias.

Gimli: Why no I love riding through the trees on horseback.

[Arwen Halfelven]

Glorfindel: That Peter Jackson guy is gonna hear from my lawyer! Arwen, indeed!!!

Goldberry: I never liked the water anyway!!!

Sam: Shoot! I can't get that stupid little nut to grow anywhere!!

Gaffer: That Sam was always such a loser!!

Saruman: You can always find a friend in Fangorn Forest!

Frodo: Next volcano I visit will be in Hawaii!

Denethor: My kids would have been better if I'd let them watch "Sesame Street" and learn about co-operation!

Eowyn: What a girl has to do to get some attention in these stories! Sheesh!

[smeagol444]

heehee!

your all crackin' me up!:cool: :cool: :cool: :D

[Wonko The Sane]

That's dirty!!

Moon Cloud and Baranlas are going to get in trouble! ;) GO YOU!

[Mablung]

Gandalf: So you broke the one ring when you dropped it and stepped on it? There goes my Mt Doom theory welll... anyone wanna go anyway?

Bilbo: No more thanks Im full.

Aragorn: Im actually a democrat and I don't believe in the monarchal system.

Gollum: No I don't want the ring anymore actually I got some help and I've been clean for 6 monthes now I basically just came to make amends for the evil thoughts I was having earlier.

Lobelia: Oh do take care Frodo dear are you sure you dont want our son to come with you? You'd have ever so much fun and don't worry a thing about Bag End the mayor will keep out any nasty thieves.

[Arwen Halfelven]

Mablung~~~~this is what happens when I should be asleep instead of sitting in front of my 'puter thinking in weird ways!!!

Treebread: Pippin, get those pruning shears & take a bit of my top here.

Nazgul: If Sauron would let me have a throat lozenge, I'm sure I'd sound a lot better!

Sauron to an orc: Get some throat lozenges for the Nazgul!

Legolas: Not only am I hunky, but I'm a dead shot with an elven bow! Always dinner on the table!

Aragorn to Arwen: Why can't we just elope?

Faramir to Eowyn: Why can't we just elope?

Gimli to Legolas: Why can't we just elo....oops!!!! Wrong script!!!

Frodo to Bilbo: You're the reason I'm in therapy now. If you'd only kept that dumb ring!

Okay, I'm going to bed now! This was way too fun........
Namarie, mellyn!!!!

[reem]

harharhar!!! no no!! now THAT is hilarious!! heehee!!
nice one:)
reem

[Ol'gaffer]

Arwen to Aragorn: I'm going to the gray havens...But I'll write.

Grima: Allright, It was me...and Saruman

Treebeard: brrr, quite cold, someone get some firewood!

Gandalf: Hmm? Oh! I'm in your way! Sorry, this confounded bridge is just so narrow that it's really hard to pass.

Galadriel: Who's on for a game of TWISTER?

Gimli: can't we all just...Get along?

Eowyn to Aragorn: can't you forget that hag in Rivendell? she's way too old for you!

:D

[klugiglugus]

Tom Bombadil: Thats right little children Goldberry is a Pokemon!

Gullum: Ok that it! I am George W. Bush and I refuse to be treated in this mannor! The united slates of ameeba will fight this war against Hobbitism!:p

[Elfhelm25]

Haha , everyone is so funny !

[Elfhelm25]

Tom Bombadil : I am vying for Sauron . He really would be a more productive ruler .

Elrond : Frankly , my daughter is a tramp and she's free for the taking . I'll give someone my ring of power to get her off my back .

Eomer : If you wanted to sleep with my sister , you should have just said so , Grima . Its funny to watch you prowl after her . Ill hook you up !

Theoden : Women make the best fighters . Eomer , Aragorn , Legolas , theres plenty of gear that needs mending . Would you be dears and get started on that for me ?

Celeborn : I wear the pants in my family . Im serious !

Saruman : My mother neglected me as a child . I hurt to keep from hurting .

Orcs : I prefer a gentle rose blush to give my skin an extra glow on those warm summer evenings .

[omnipotent_elf]

Treebeard: yeah i can be the centrepiece of ur bonfire

[Hawk]

Boromir: *after being shot by orcs* I'm not quite dead.... I feel happy... I feel happy... *dies*

Gandalf: *on the bridge in moria to the Balrog* You must answer me these questions three ere the other side you see....

Ring Writhes: We demand... a Shrubbery!

Legolas: *on the ramparts of helm's deep to orcs in an annoying French accent* Go Away or I shall taunt you a second time!

Gollum: *to Frodo* Do or do not.. there is no try..
Frodo: What does that mean?
Gollum: I don't know I read it on a fortune cookie.

[Hawk]

Legolas: *agian at helm's deep in the middle of battle*Ok, nobody move I lost a contact.

[faila]

frodo in mount doom pulls out a joint and lights it with the lava and says to sam
"Want to toke?"

[omnipotent_elf]

riders of rohan "oh bugger horses, i want to swim"

orc*holds up two fingers*"PEACE MAN"

orc *i feel so proud, being this olympic torch runner and all. I know they wont blow me up tho, i love my felow orcs too much*

legolas "i'm really an orc" *gets out of elf costume*

[Goldberry344]

Gimly: LEGOLAS! 2!
Leggy: I've got 17 already!
Gimly! YOU BLASTED CHEAT! you think your so great with your bow and arrow! well guess what! ill give you a BLOW! *beheads elf*

i am feeling rather unfunny right now.

[omnipotent_elf]

Grima: i wasnt after eowyn, i was after u there eomer

[Snaga]

Gandalf: 'Can I trade this staff in for a zimmer-frame?'

Frodo: 'Take it easy Sam, I'll do the gardening'

Sam: 'Since I stopped cooking with onions I don't cry at all any more.'

Gollum: 'Leave master alone, stupid fat hobbit! He's mine, *****!'

The Mouth of Sauron: ' Wanna see the toothbrush of Sauron?'

Gandalf to the hobbits after a long forced march and no toilet break: 'You cannot pi$$!'

[Hawk]

Sam: *to Frodo after the ring is destroyed* Mr. Frodo you just destroyed the one ring what are you ging to do now?
Frodo: I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!!

[reem]

arwen to elrond: i love him (aragorn) dady, i LOVE him!
elrond: well...if this is what you really want...you can get married then!
arwen: oh thank you dad!! you're the best!
(hug each other, then as they let go)
elrond: OWOWOW!! MY HAIR!! WAIT ARWEN OW!!
:p

[Isenho]

haha, well it would be funny to hear ANYONE say "dude"