Lord of the Pants

[Ascamaciliel]

gollum: don't want pants
-
legolas: and you have my pants
-
gimli: no one tosses pants
gimli: not the pants!

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe...GREAT STORY SHADOWFAX!!! I'm driving down to the Wilamette JUST to have a lingerie fight, ok? It won't take long to get there!
;)

Nevele: I know you're new but that one you have that Legolas said was one I did a while back! And it's STILL hilarious!! *laughs* It makes me giggle...especially if you think of "pants" the British way and not the American way! ;)

[Ascamaciliel]

yeah, i figured somone had already said one of them. sometimes, when there's too many pages to a topic, i skip over some, lol

[Wonko The Sane]

:D Me too...I hardly EVER read the backpages for the threads I post to.

But shhh...don't tell anyone..;)

Frodo: I used to think I wanted a pair of pants like yours, Bilbo...

[Princess Vi]

alright I ain't reading the whole thread cuz there are EIGHTEEN PAGES!!! so if I post something that's had something smilar to it done, please inform me, and if itwas yours that was similar, my apologies.........here I go!(woohoo!)

Gandalf: there is only one Lord of the Ring, and he does not share pants!

Galadriel: Will yuo look into my pants?
Frodo: what will I see?
Galadriel: :D what do YOU think?

lol I love the last one! even if it is nasty..........

[HobbitGirl]

I posted one exactly like the Gandalf one, but like Wonks said, it's still funny the second time! LOL :D

[Wonko The Sane]

I think we should all get the extended DVD and then we should post from that! Think of all the new LotP material we'd have from the new ones...

If I had the DVD instead of just kind of seeing it at Tower Records while talking on the phone and buying movies and things I'd post the lines Bilbo says at the beginning and instead of "Concerning Hobbits"
I'd call it "Concerning Pants" and go on about pants in lieu of hobbits. ;)

[Wolfshead]

I don't have the time to read 18 pages of back-catalogue, so here's one I thought up in Maths an hour or so ago. It's bound to have come up before, but never mind.

About Aragorn: Not all those who wander wear pants

More coming just as soon as I think of them...

[Wonko The Sane]

CraigSmith must be British.
Only the British call "math" "maths"

[Celebthôl]

yes yes we do, nicey spotted Fox teehee, coz we suck over here!

Thôl

[Wonko The Sane]

I really am moving to England, Thôl! So if you want you can come and live in my house!
My bed doesn't have a mattress on it at the moment as it is on the floor of my sister's room and covered in giggling 15 year old girls, but you can sleep on my boxspring in my sleeping bag.
I won't be needing it in England.

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
CraigSmith must be British.
Only the British call "math" "maths"
Yes, I would happen to be British. You see, in the location bit, it says Scotland ;)

Why say Math? It sounds stupid, Maths sounds much better... Stupid Americans ;) :D

Ok, so to stay on-topic, here's another one

Elrond: You cannot wear pants, none of us can

[Ancalagon]

Originally posted by CraigSmith
Yes, I would happen to be British. You see, in the location bit, it says Scotland ;)


So you mean you are Scottish?

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by CraigSmith
Yes, I would happen to be British. You see, in the location bit, it says Scotland ;)

Why say Math? It sounds stupid, Maths sounds much better... Stupid Americans ;) :D

Ok, so to stay on-topic, here's another one

Elrond: You cannot wear pants, none of us can

Noo! Maths sounds SOOOO bad!! Why do you need to pluralize it?! Makes NOOO sense!!!

Lord of the Pants:

I just found a quote supporting my belief that pantsing Yrch is a Tolkien phenomenon!!!

Gorbag to Shagrat: "You may well put your pants on, if you have them! It's no laughing matter!"
From "The Choices of Master Samwise"

AND

Shagrat to Snaga: "That's enough from you,' snarled Shagrat. 'I had my orders. It was Gorbag started it, trying to pull off those pretty pants!"

From "The Tower of Cirith Ungol"

[Wolfshead]

So you mean you are Scottish?
Well, yes... and no. You see, I'm 3/4 Scottish and 1/4 English. But Scotland is part of Britain, hence my being British also. Of course, you already knew that, I would hope.
Noo! Maths sounds SOOOO bad!! Why do you need to pluralize it?! Makes NOOO sense!!!
Why did we need to pluralise it? Why did you need to singularise it? I mean, it must have been Maths before Math. And when you think on it logically (as I hope I'm doing), Maths makes more sense.

There are many things within Mathematics; Calculus, Trig et al. The term maths probably is derived from Mathematics. There being lots of things within it, so, make it plural. Or, the original is plural, so why not make the abbreviation plural?

Anyway, more Lord Of The Pants... um.

Treebeard on Gandalf: The only Wizard who really cared about pants.

Quite a lame one though, methinks.

[Wonko The Sane]

No no no no no!!
You can't pluralize an abbreviation!!! It's just plain wrong!

Math is closer to Math. for Mathematics than anything else.
Therefore it makes SOO much more sense than Maths. You can't abbreviate something by taking the first four letters AND the last letter!!

More Lord of the Pants!

"There are pants in the wild,' said Strider; "tweed, and khaki, and Dockers; and I have some skills as a pantser at need. You need not be afraid of freezing before winter comes. But sewing and wearing pants is long and weary work, and we need thread. So tighten your belts, and think with hope of the tailors at Elrond's house!"

(Worth it to find the original quote just to see how it compares. In my book it's page 186 but I have a compilation of all three in one binding. It's in the chapter called "A Knife in the Dark" in FotR.)

[Wolfshead]

I was about to go and look up some more pluralised abbreviations, but then I realised that would be rather sad. So I won't. What I will do is stop the whole English-English-being-better-than-American-English argument and get back on topic :p

More Lord Of The Pants -

West of the Anduin as far as the Misty Mountains and the Gap of Rohan shall be tributary to Mordor, and men there shall wear no pants, but shall have leave to wash their own socks.

Taken from the bit when The Mouth Of Sauron is giving the terms to Gandalf.

Oh, and Maths does sound better ;)

[Wonko The Sane]

Does not! Math! Go Math!!

Lord of the Pants:

"Then suddenly Faramir looked at Pippin. 'But now we come to strange matters,' he said. 'For this is not the first pantsless halfling that I have seen walking out of northern legends and into the Southlands.'"

[Glamdring]

What a brilliant topic. (no sarcasm....seriously)
This is the funniest thing I've read since........damn, always have to work myself into a hole:(

[Arvedui]

From Treebeard:
'Almost felt you liked the Pants! That's good! That's uncommonly kind of you,' said a strange voice. 'Turn round and let me have a look at your pants. I almost feel that I dislike them both, but do not let us be hasty. Turn around!'
A large knob-knuckeled hand was laid on each of their belts, and they were twisted round, gently but irresistibly; then two great stockings lifted them up.

'For I am not going to show you my pants, not yet at any rate.'
'For one thing it would take a long while: My pants are growing all the time, and I've lived a very long, long time: so my pants are like a story. Real pants tell you the story of the things they belong to in my language, but it takes a long time to say anything in it, because we do not say anything in it, unless it is worth taking a long time to say, and to put on.

I was thinking about mentioning Boromir breaking the Wind of Gondor, but thought it was slightly off topic.... :cool:

[Wonko The Sane]

Gollum:

"Where iss they, where iss they: my Pantssess, my Pantssess? They're ours, they are, and we wants them! The theives, the theives, the filthy little theives. Where are they with my Pantssess?! Curse them! We hate them!!!"

[Froggum]

I hope no one has posted this....


"Where now the belt and the buckle?
Where are the pants that need sewing?
Where is the fly and the zipper,
and the bare butt showing?"

Pretty lame, I know, but I tried!

[Hobbit-GalRosie]

When Frodo looks into the mirror of Galadriel and sees the Eye of Sauron:

Then the pants began to sew, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not dress him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his legs grew heavy, heavier than a great pants, and his legs were dragged downwards...

[HobbitGirl]

Gandalf: I think you've had those pants quite long enough.

Bilbo: You want them for yourself!

Gandalf: BILBO BAGGINS! Do not take me for some cheap fashion consultant. I am not trying to pants you! I'm trying to help you. All your long years you've had bad fashion sense. Trust me as you once did. Let the 70's go.

[Hobbit-GalRosie]

Omigosh, this is too good. Um, how about "For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the pants of all."

Or alternatively "When pants will shape the fortunes of all.":D :D :D :D

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[33Peregrin]

Hey HobbitGirl, what you said was great!! You know how in that part in the book Gandalf says "You shall see Gandalf the Grey uncloaked" ? You could say like "You shall see Gandalf the Grey unpantsed!" I know this is stupid, but I had to say it.:D :D

[Lasgalen]

From the movie:

Haldir: "The Dwarf farts so loud we could have shot him in the pants."

-Lasgalen

[HobbitGirl]

Originally posted by Hobbit-GalRosie
"When pants will shape the fortunes of all."
Ha ha ha! Great one!

Thank you 33Peregrin! :D

[Shadowfax]

P'raps this has been done before, but it's Bilbo's sayiong from the movie that Frodo recites to Sam in the cornfield:

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, putting on your clothes. You step into your pants, and if you don't keep your seat, there's no knowing what might sweep them off."

[Lasgalen]

Has anyone mentioned Galadriels gift to Gimli?
3 pairs of her pants.

-Lasgalen

[Emowyn]

Elrond: "Bring forth the pants Frodo."

"The pants cannot be destroyed Gimi son of Gloin by any jeans we here possess."

Arwen: "It is mine to give to whom I will, like my pants."

[Emowyn]

Bilbo: "I don't wear half the pants half as much as I should like, and I like half of them half as much as they deserve!"

[Emowyn]

ok ok they where all bad I'm sorry! I am not worthy of you great pant joke people! I have to say I have never laughed so much in 30 mins as I have when reading this thread! But here's one more for you to groan at:

Bilbo: My dear Bagginses and Belts, and my dear Thongs and Bellbottoms, and Garters, and Cords, and Buckles, and Togs and Boxers, Braces, Karkis, Combats and ProudKnickers.

Odo: ProudPANTS!

[Maeglin]

Glorfindel: "They said that the Nine were abroad, and that you were astray bearing a great burden without pants."

Glorfindel again: "It was my lot to take the road, and I came to the bridge of Mitheithel, and left my pants there."

Not very good I know, but its a start, this is the first time I've ever looked in this Forum and this is hilarious, if I ever think of some better ones I'll post them.:D ;)

[roguelion]

hows this..
""the long dark pants of Moria"

[Link]

Aragorn: "Moria is no place for pants..."

*Sam unbuckles and drops his pant's 'round his ankles*


Sam: "ughh.........Buh-bye pants........"





Saruman talking to Gandalf:


Gandalf: "The eye of Sauron"

Saruman: "His gaze peirces cloud, shadow, earth, and pants..."

[Lasgalen]

from the books

'It's going to be thick' said Maggot; 'but I'll not light my pants till I turn for home.'

-Lasgalen

[Liat_ravensong]

These aren't very good but never mind:

(fellowship travelling down the river aduin.)
Strider: Frodo look! Long have I wished to look on to the Y fronts of old.

(the before Helms deep.)
Eomer: Look the orcs are bearing the white thong of sarouman.

[Lasgalen]

from the books

Frodo to Strider: Even if I wanted another companion, I should not agree to any such thing, until I knew a good deal more about you, and your pants.

-Lasgalen

[Ol'gaffer]

From the movies:

Elrond: He's pants are not coming back. Why would you linger here when he has no pants?
Arwen: He still has pants..

Sam: All we need now is some good trousers.
Smeagol: Whut's trousers eh precious?

Aragorn: They're pants with only a single purpose, to wipe out the style of men.
Theoden: :eek:

More coming soon.

[Liat_ravensong]

(In moria when Gandalf picks up the book from the dead dwarf)

Gandalf (reading): the orc's have taken the elastic,cannot zip up...
we cannot hold them up any longer... Cannot......zip.........up!

[Emowyn]

(The firework scene LOTR)
Merry: You're suposed to stick it in your pants
Pip: it is in your pants!
Merry: No yours!
Pip: This was your idea!

[???]

Those are the funniest!!!

[Link]

Gandalf: "And now that you are cured, King Theoden, it would help regain your strength if you put some pants on.."

[Gimli'sGal]

Samwise- You know what would go good on my legs? Some nice trousers.

Gollum-Trousers prrreciousssss? What's trousers?

Sam- Ter-ou-sers

Sam- Iron em, sew em, patch up all the holes!

[Gimli'sGal]

Sam- this looks oddly familiar.

Frodo- It's because we've been here before!!

Frodo- What pants have we got?

Sam- Well we've got these Levis

Sam- And Look! More Levis

Sam- I'm not really up to foreign pants, but these Elvish pants are rather comfy!

Frodo- Nothing ever dampens your pants, does it Sam?

Sam- Well I do have to go to the bathroom!

I'm sorry. Couldn't think how rain clouds could dampen pants!!!!:) :) :) :)

[???]

I think rain clouds might be able to damped pants if it starts to rain.


Here is mine:Faramir:What! What did they steal from you? Gollum: They stole my pants! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[Mina Pitcher]

Mina Pitcher Returns...

and finds this thread still going! WOW! Aw, this is all so funny!! Nothing can contend with this when I need cheering up!

I'm back! :D

[33Peregrin]

I think rain clouds might be able to damped pants if it starts to rain.

Yeah, but that's not what she meant. She meant in a funny way. Not that what she put was especially funny.... but i know what she meant. I was there. Just making that clear. Poppy

[Lasgalen]

From the movie, where Aragorn is describing the Nazgul:
"Now they are slaves to his pants"

-Lasgalen

[Ol'gaffer]

Faramir looks up in osgiliath: PANTS!!

Pippin: What's making that sound?
Merry: It's the pants..

Uglúk: What about their pants? they don't need them.

Gollum: the dark lord is gathering all pants to him.

Treebeard: I am in nobodys pants, for nobody is truyl in my pants.

Theoden: I cannot let you come before theoden king dressed gandalf the grey, you must leave your pants at the door.

[Liat_ravensong]

These are sooooooooo funny
keep them coming 'cos i've got a tough time up aheadf & i need as much cheering up as i can.
i would post more but mine are so bad i wouldn't want to torture you with them!:p :p

[legolas84]

Aragorn: Not idlely do the pants of Lorien fall.

Treebeard: Gandalf told me to keep you safe...and in my pants if where i'll keep you!

Pippin:
Wait! Stop! Stop! Turn around. Turn around. Take us south!
Treebeard:
South? But that will lead you into Saruman's pants!
Pippin:
Yes. Exactly. If we go south we can slip into his pants unnoticed. The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm. It’s the last thing he’ll expect.
Treebeard:
Hmmmm. That doesn’t make sense to me. But then, you do have very small pants.

[Lasgalen]

Saruman: "And Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard seeking my pants."

-Lasgalen

[Wonko The Sane]

Gandalf: They aren't all accounted for, the lost seeing pants.

[Ol'gaffer]

Gandalf to Saruman ontop of Orthanc: There is only one lord of the rings, and he does not intend to share pants!

Elrond: My pants stand on the brink of tearing, you will unite or they will fall!!
Other members at the council: :eek: :eek:

Smeagol to himself: Master looks after our pants now.
Gollum: You don't have any pants!

[Ecthelion]

The scene when Gandalf and the others are about to go meet Theoden:
Guard: Your pants too Gandalf.
Gandalf: You would dare part an old man from his pants?

[Wonko The Sane]

Gimli at Helm's Deep: Pants me!!!

Aragorn: What did you say? *smirking*

Gimli: Pants me! Pants me!!!

*Aragorn moves to pants him, Gimli looks into his eyes.*

Gimli: Don't tell the elf?

[Ecthelion]

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!! WONKS THAT WAS GREAT!!!!!!

Oh jeez that was a good one. All hail Wonko!:D :) :p :cool:

[Wonko The Sane]

Why thank you!
:) I didn't know it would be such a hit! ;)

[Mindy_O_Lluin]

All pants that are gold do not glitter.
Not all those who wear them are lost.
The seam that is strong will not tatter.
Deep pockets aren't reached by the cost.

[Wonko The Sane]

What we hear:

Balrog: ROOOARRR!! GRRR!!! *SLOBER* AAAAAAAAARRRGHHH! *Gnashes of teeth*

What he's saying:

Balrog: Gandalf those are MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!

[Wolfshead]

Ah, that all makes sense now! The reason the Balrog wanted to kill the Fellowship was because Gandalf had stolen his leg wear some years previously. If only Gandalf had not done so, life would have been so much easier for the group ;)

[Emowyn]

Grima: Why do you lay these troubles on already troubled pants. Can you not see? Your uncle is wearied by your thongs, your pant-mongering.

Éomer: Pant-mongering?

(Éomer grabs Grima and pins him against a pillar)

How long is it since Saruman bought your pants? What was the promised price, Grima? When all the men's pants where re-sewn, you will take your share of the material?

(Grima’s eyes flick to the right, looking at Éowyn's pants as she walks by. Éowyn stops to stare back for a moment before departing from the hall. Éomer jerks Grima again and clutches his hand around Grima’s jaw)

Éomer: Too long have you watched my sister's pants, too long have you haunted her trousers!

(Ok that can be interpretted as both sick and funny.... ;) )

[Orwell]

the reason i think you don't appreciate meekness, is that as a child you were one of those kids that nobody likes because he always has to go first;)yu don't care weather the food gets cold or not, you just don't want to be skipped in the confusion of eating;), so there:D(just so there's no confusion, my signature was merely ot anoy a friend of mine, not to incurr the wrath of Mac users)

to clear up some possible confusion in the future, the reply i posted was to that guy craig smith, and his signature had to do with meekness, so i commented because i had nothing better to write.

I agree, the theft of the balrog's pants was a heinous act that merrited punishment:D. gandalf needs ot get a hold of his pantscleptomania, it's probably cold down in those caves where the balrog sleeps.:D

[Wonko The Sane]

"Too long have you watched my sister's pants"

HA!!! HILARIOUS EMOWYN!!!!!!

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by Orwell
the reason i think you don't appreciate meekness, is that as a child you were one of those kids that nobody likes because he always has to go first;)yu don't care weather the food gets cold or not, you just don't want to be skipped in the confusion of eating;), so there:D(just so there's no confusion, my signature was merely ot anoy a friend of mine, not to incurr the wrath of Mac users)

to clear up some possible confusion in the future, the reply i posted was to that guy craig smith, and his signature had to do with meekness, so i commented because i had nothing better to write. Yes, thanks Orwell. Just so you know, I'm actually nothing like that. As you may or may not notice, my sig has a credit at the end, from a book by Bernard Cornwell. So I am not saying what I, personally, dislike about Christians.

[Wonko The Sane]

Go Craig!!
I totally support you and your right to quote Cornwell!

And furthermore there's nothing wrong with being Meek.

I soon will be and plan to stay so for the rest of my life. :rolleyes:

[Ecthelion]

(Grima and Saruman talking about the people of Rohan going to Helm's Deep)
Grima: The pants to Helm's Deep are long and rough, it will take them awhile and their will be women pants, and children's pants.
Saurman eyes light up: Children's pants?

[Wonko The Sane]

Ecthelion...that's just NASTY!!!!

[Ecthelion]

Nasty, yet creative in its own way:)

[Wonko The Sane]

Nasty and perverted!!!

[Ol'gaffer]

Grima: I don't understand, how can trousers undo pants?

[spirit]

THESE ARE FUNNY. LOL.
LIKE THAT ONE ABOT SAURUMAN

[Ol'gaffer]

Grima: Late is the hour that this conjuror of cheap pants chooses to arrive.

Grima: be silent, I didn't pass through hong kong and malesia to hear words from cheap designer shorts.

[spirit]

Gandalf: are the pants safe; are they secret?
Frodo: err...gandalf you're ment to say 'ring'
Gandlaf: i know what i was ment to say, you fool of a pant

[Feanorian]

Who's that? Be off! You can't come in. Cant you read the notice: "No pants admitted after nightfall."

[Vixen Evenstar]

"Come!" said Aragorn. "This is the hour when we draw pants together!"

ok that wasn't so great....

Sing Hey! For the pants at the end of the day!


"But he weilds great pants, nonetheless," Said Gimli; "And now he will zip more swiftly"

[olorin the maia]

Frodo to Gandalf: " I am wounded with knife, sting, and tooth, and a long burden. And where shall I find some pants?"

[Lasgalen]

Sam to Frodo: Ah! What's that horrid stink? I'll warrant there's nasty pants nearby. Can you smell it?

-Lasgalen

[spirit]

Originally posted by Lasgalen
Sam to Frodo: Ah! What's that horrid stink? I'll warrant there's nasty pants nearby. Can you smell it?

-Lasgalen


frodo to sam: i think that the smell if comming from your pants actually

[Lasgalen]

Gandalf: The courtesy of your pants is somewhat lessened of late, Theoden King

-Lasgalen

[Lúthien Séregon]

Lol! Well, I might as well let fly ( no pun intended ;) ) with a few lines:

Sam: Mr. Frodo? It’s the Pants, isn’t it?
Frodo: They're getting heavier.

Uglúk: What is it? What do you smell?
Maúhur: <sniffs the air> Man-pants.

Saruman: Who now has the strength to stand against the pants of Isengard and Mordor? To stand against the pants of Sauron and Saruman and the union of the two trousers?

Éomer: Pants are running freely across our lands. Unchecked. Unchallenged. Killing at will. Pants bearing the white hand of Saruman.

Legolas: They run as if the very pants of their masters were behind them.

Legolas: You would die before your pants fell!

Gollum: Master should be resting. Master needs to keep up his pants.


:cool: :D

[Ol'gaffer]

Smeagol: Master looks after our pants now.
Gollum: You don't have any pants!
Smeagol: :eek:
************************************************** ***************
Saruman: Tonight. The land shall be covered with the pants of Rohan!
100,000 orcs: :D :D
************************************************** ****************
Gollum: Where is it, where is it? those thieves, they stole our pants, and we wants them.
************************************************** ****************
Smeagol: But the fat hobbit, he knows. Wears big pants all the time...
Gollum: Then we take them's from it, make him crawl butt naked, then we wear the pants!
************************************************** ****************
Theoden: (to eowyn) I know your pants....
************************************************** ****************

:D

[Novuriel]

I soooooooooooo hope no one has done these ones (although they probably have) but I couldn't be bothered reading all these pages.

Gollum - "What has it got in its pantses?"

Narrative - "In a hole in the pants there lived a hobbit."

Frodo - (FOTR) "Honestly, I nearly tried on Bilbo's pants. I longed to disappear."

LOL!!!! You guys are totally cracking me up!

[Kailita]

Originally posted by Ol'gaffer
Smeagol: Master looks after our pants now.
Gollum: You don't have any pants!
Smeagol: :eek:

BWAHAHAHAHA! *Bursts out into laughter*

[HobbitFeet]

Farewell old pants and worn out fly
Though they're blest since here I lie
and here with lissom limbs I run
beneath the moon, beneath the sun
Pants of good and pants of fell,
Some so fair I cannot tell.
Though all to ruin fell my pants
and then I went on this old rant,
Re-made into a better pair
I hope to God they do not tear
The dusk, the dawn, the earth, the sea-
All my new pants were meant to see.

[spirit]

Farewell old pants and worn out fly
Though they're blest since here I lie
and here with lissom limbs I run
beneath the moon, beneath the sun
Pants of good and pants of fell,
Some so fair I cannot tell.
Though all to ruin fell my pants
and then I went on this old rant,
Re-made into a better pair
I hope to God they do not tear
The dusk, the dawn, the earth, the sea-
All my new pants were meant to see.


nice
did u make it up of find it somewhere?

[Lasgalen]

From the book:
If thou art in haste, remember the Pants of the Dead.

[HobbitFeet]

Originally posted by spirit:
nice
did u make it up of find it somewhere?
Thanks! I made it up. It's to the tune of Beren's song to Luthien....Somewhere in the Sil. :)

[tookish-girl]

I'm sure someone will have done these before...oh well!

Bilbo (FOTR): And he lived happily til the end of his pants

Orc: (TTT) We've had nothing to eat but maggoty pants for three stinking days

Aragorn (TTT) picking up Pippin's brooch: Not idley do the pants of Lorien fall ......

Theoden (TTT): What will you have me do? Look at my men. Their pants hang by a thread.

Faramir (TTT): A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his pants

[Wonko The Sane]

AHSJFHD:AFDJALJSD *laughs hysterically and falls over*

TOOKISH YOU'RE HILARIOUS!

[Theoden_king]

Gandalf to Legolas:
"If Elves could fly over mountains, they might fetch some pants to save us"

[tookish-girl]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
AHSJFHD:AFDJALJSD *laughs hysterically and falls over*

TOOKISH YOU'RE HILARIOUS!
Why thankyou, my dear Wonko! No idea what AHSJFHD:AFDJALJSD means!

[Kailita]

Originally posted by tookish-girl
Theoden (TTT): What will you have me do? Look at my men. Their pants hang by a thread.

Faramir (TTT): A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his pants

*Giggles uncontrollably*

[Feanorian]

"..................your pants swoosh so loud we could have sewn them in the dark"

[spirit]

Feanorian i like that one. made me crack up

[argonathaniel]

im not sure if these have been done before but here goes... :p

Sam:
Trust a Brandybuck and a Took.
Merry:
What? It was just a detour. A shortcut.
Sam:
A shortcut to what?
Pippin:
[Spots something on the ground.] Pants!!!


Arwen:
Frodo... Im Arwen. Telin le thaed. Lasto beth nîn, tolo dan na ngalad.
[Translation: "I am Arwen. I've have come for your pants. Hear my voice. Give me your pants."]


Arwen:
There are 5 Wraiths behind you. Where their pants are, I do not know.

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by tookish-girl
Why thankyou, my dear Wonko! No idea what AHSJFHD:AFDJALJSD means!

It means I was laughing so hard I couldn't type!!

[legolas84]

Hope no one's done these before....

Gimli: Aarrgghhh!!! Let them come! There is one dwarf yet in Moria that still has pants!

Gandalf: I think there’s more to this hobbit than meets the eye.
<FRODO show his pants>
Gimli: Pants! You are full of surprises Master Baggins.

[Vixen Evenstar]

Arwen: Do you remember what i said when we first met?

Aragorn: You said you would give me your pants.

[Lasgalen]

from the chapter Minas Tirith
Pippin looked out from the shelter of Gandalf's pants.

-Lasgalen

[BlackCaptain]

I don't know half of your pants half as well as I should like, and I like half of your pants half as much as you deserve...

[Feanorian]

Gandalf to the Ancient Pants of Moria:"You Shall noooooot TEAR!!"

hey that was cheesy but tahts ok ;)

[BlackCaptain]

Pippin and Merry felt very relieved after that refreshing Ent drought. It in fact also made thier pants bigger.

[Sarah]

*movie*

Frodo: My pants Gandalf, which leg first, is it left or right?

Gandalf: Left

[Lantarion]

"The Pants! The Pants are upon us!"
or
"Black pants from Dunland!"

[Turin]

Haha, This is the funniest thread in all TTF.

[Sarah]

Now Melkor began the buttoning and sewing of vast pants, deep under Earth.

[Lasgalen]

From the chapter "The Steward and the King"

'I know it well, dear friend' said Aragorn; 'but I would still have your pants'

-Lasgalen

[Emowyn]

The Pants go ever on and on
Down the legs where it began.
Now far ahead the pants have gone
And I must follow if I can
Pursuing them with eager feet
Until they join some larger way
where many pants and trousers meet
and wear them then? I cannot say.

[Lantarion]

Emowyn and Tookish: ROTFLMAO!!!!! :D :D

"I saw you!" cried Frodo. "You were walking backwards and forwards. The pants were in your hair!"

Gandalf: "There are pants, too, of another kind in the Shire. But all such places will soon become islands under siege, if things go on as they are going. The Dark Lord is putting forth all his pants."

Frodo: "they were terrible to behold! But why could we see their pants?"

Gandalf: "Not all his servants are trousers and pants! There are shorts and stockings, there are khakis and swimming trunks!"

[Turin]

Gandalf: This is the door of Durin, Tailor of Moria.

[BlackCaptain]

Aragorn(movie) - Come. We travel light. Bring only your favorite, and most fashionable pants. Lets hunt some trouser.

[Turin]

Ok I admit it mine was cheesy.

[Lasgalen]

Book quote:

"No taste of food, no feel of water, no sound of wind, no memory of tree or grass or flower, no image of pants are left to me. I am naked in the dark, Sam, and there is no pants between me and the wheel of fire.

-Lasgalen

[Novuriel]

Lasgalen - LMAO!!!!! :D

I can't think of any that are even half as good as all of these others!

[Sarah]

any way we could incorporate the legolas' nudie musical here? I'm sure there's a way.

[Wolfshead]

Where there's a will, there's a way, but I'm sure as hell not doing it. There're limits to that thing, you know :rolleyes:

[MrsElijahWood]

the pants here they're master's call, they long to return to they're master's bum.-Gandalf, in bag end

[LadyDernhelm]

You should know, though I've only read the first five pages, I've been smothering maniacal laughter the entire time. Especially at the classic "Your fly, you fool!"...who wouldn't?

I've got one of my own now.

On the entry of Aragorn into Meduseld:

'There are the doors before you,' said the guide. 'I must return now to my pants at the gate.'

And another:

'I am the Doorward of Théoden,' he said. 'Háma is my name. Here I must bid you lay aside your pants before you enter.'

Then Legolas gave into his hand his silver-embroidered pants...

Aragorn stood a while hesitating. 'It is not my will,' he said, 'to put aside my pants or deliver them into the hand of any other man.'

And the final:

'Because Aragorn is descended in direct lineage, father to father, from Isildur Elendil's son himself. And the pants that he wear were Elendil's own.'

A murmur of astonishment ran through the ring of men. Some cried aloud: 'The pants of Elendil! The pants of Elendil come to Minas Tirith! Great tidings!'

[Lasgalen]

From the chapter Minas Tirith

"What is that?" cried Pippin suddenly, clutching at Gandalf's pants.

-Lasgalen

[Gandalf_White]

I think I'm gonna be sick from laughing so hard at these.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gollum: My pantsesesss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gandalf: It says: One pair of pants to rule them all.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Gandalf looking closely at the ring*

One Pants to Rule them All:
Wash in gentle cycle with mild detergent
and tumble dry medium heat
Do not dry clean

[LadyDernhelm]

Dunno if this has already been done, but inspiration hit as I was watching the movie last night. ;)

Saruman: Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and pants.

[Wonko The Sane]

He can see in my pants!!!

AAAH!!!!
If he could see in my trousers that might be semi-ok cos I have pants on...but I don't wear two pairs of pants!!!

*Feels naked*

[Gandalf_White]

the orcs discuss whether they can eat Merry and Pippin
Orc: What about their pants they don't need them

[LadyDernhelm]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
He can see in my pants!!!

AAAH!!!!
If he could see in my trousers that might be semi-ok cos I have pants on...but I don't wear two pairs of pants!!!

*Feels naked*

ROFL...yes Wonks, he sees everything!!! Muhahahaha.

This is lots of fun. Let's see if I can find another crazy quote to add to our collection...

Sam, speaking to Faramir (of Boromir):

'...it's my opinion that in Lorien he first saw clearly what I guessed sooner: what he wanted. From the moment he first saw them he wanted the Enemy's Pants!'

[BlackCaptain]

Boromir - They are not yours save by a lucky pants! They could be mine... THEY SHOULD BE MINE!

**From the movie**

[LADY N.]

You are the funniest guys I've never known, I'm just here reading to your e-mails, and can't stop laughing, hahahaha.

congratulations!!! you have great ideas!!!

[LadyDernhelm]

Originally posted by LADY N.
You are the funniest guys I've never known, I'm just here reading to your e-mails, and can't stop laughing, hahahaha.

congratulations!!! you have great ideas!!!

Of course we're funny.

And still missing our top-of-the-page art!!!

[LadyDernhelm]

'Maybe I shall,' said Treebeard....'But I shall miss them. I have put their pants into the Long List.'

[LADY N.]

I'm a little confused :confused:

Can someone explain what's the objective of thes (or just for having funny???) and with easy words, 'cause I've studied English (I must say I'm mexican) but there are always new words, and teenagers use them all!!!!

I'm 18.

[LADY N.]

sorry, I'm having a lot of funny here with you, but I have to go out, if someone wants to talk to me, you can write me to the following address:

spanish_eyes_20210@hotmail.com

I'll answer your e-mails, asap!!!

Tks guys!!!

Enjoy your weekend!!!

:)

[LadyDernhelm]

This is just for having fun. Take a line from the Lord of the Rings books/movies and replace one word with the word "pants".

If any of that didn't make sense, I can translate it into Spanish. I'm not fluent, but I think I could figure it out.

[Wonko The Sane]

I can speak Spanish. :) I'm half Mexican as well. :D
Yay!!! So if you want any clarification you can message me on MSN Lady N. :)

I'm darklighter_solo@hotmail.com

[LadyDernhelm]

Wonks is probably better...but I could do it. What I don't know my dad (who lived for two years in Mexico and is incredibly fluent) could fill me in on. ;)

EDIT: Our top art is back!!! Hurrah!!! No longer do we topless be!

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by LadyDernhelm
This is just for having fun. Take a line from the Lord of the Rings books/movies and replace one word with the word "pants".

If any of that didn't make sense, I can translate it into Spanish. I'm not fluent, but I think I could figure it out.
"Esto es justo para tener diversión. Tome una línea del señor de los anillos books/movies y substituya una palabra por la palabra "jadearon"."

So says the language translator (http://babelfish.altavista.com)...

[LadyDernhelm]

Or CS could just go ahead and do it. ;-)

[Wolfshead]

Yeah, now don't say I'm not good to you all ;)

[VioletFalcon129]

Here is one i made up. I don't think it has been done before but i could be wrong. I don't know if i'll post much more though, all the other good ones are taken. I hope i have the wording right. I'm not sure if it's from the book or only the movie. But here it is. It is so dumb Oh well.
sam: i don't trust this strider, how do we know he's on our side?
frodo: i guess a servent of the enemy would have pants that look fairer and smell fouler.

that was sooooooo stupid. you are all going to tell me it's cheesy. i know it is. so don't tell me.

[Sarah]

That was funny. Somebody needs a little self confidence. We should give you some of Yay's.

[VioletFalcon129]

Thank you kindly. :) here is one i think is really funny:
gandalf: a wizard is never late, Frodo baggins, nor is he early. he arrives percisly( spelling?) when he means to. wether or not i've got mud on my pants is none of your bussiness.

[LadyDernhelm]

Originally posted by Sarah
That was funny. Somebody needs a little self confidence. We should give you some of Yay's.

Yeah, Yay's got too much of that stuff floating around. ;) He could definitely donate.

[spirit]

dont any of you guys think that the work 'PANTS' is gettin a tiny little bit boring? do you want to change to something else? like dude or some other cheesy word?

JUST A SUGGESTION!

[VioletFalcon129]

Lord of the socks? would that be funny? Hmmmmmmm. Lord of the socks. Probably not. Maybe, Lord of the hat? Or Lord of the toothbrush? Oh well.

[LADY N.]

My opinion is that "the lord of the pants" was just the best!!!!! better than "the lord of the rings" hahaha:)

[Sarah]

I'm all for changing it. But what word?

[spirit]

Gandalf: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The balrog set my pants on fire.

(not from txt!)

[spirit]

What about DUDE or Lord of the mushrooms

[Turin]

What about them?

[Sarah]

hmm. The only joke I could think of for dude would be something along the lines similar to dude where's my car. and I don't find the word dude all that funny. ya gotta admit. When taken out of context the word pants is pretty funny. Have you ever just said a word over and over until the word itself sounded funny? I'll leave you one word to think about: scarf.

[spirit]

hmmm...jus tried it. But after a while it just didnt seem too right! Sounded like it was a made up word or kinda something that is prounced wrong!

[LADY N.]

What about "ring", not wait a minute, it's been already used, hahaha :p just kidding, then, what about doll?????? :confused:

[spirit]

could do but it has to be every's desciion!

[LADY N.]

ok, so come one everybody!!! wake up!!!!!

leave your opinion ;)

[spirit]

L/N, everyone else seems to be awat at the moment!
Lors of the doll seems like a good idea. i cant think of anythink better! if anyone else does post it here and we can vote!

[Gandalf_White]

I don't really care too much which one we do. Personally though I like "socks":D ;)

[LADY N.]

Hi Smeagol_06!!!!! :) it's good to know there are new persons in the forum.

[spirit]

Originally posted by LADY N.
Hi Smeagol_06!!!!! :) it's good to know there are new persons in the forum.

who is Smeagol_06?? where are they?

[LADY N.]

don't know, Gandalf say he was there! :p

[spirit]

Ahh right!
well I think we should vote! Who wants 'socks'?

[LADY N.]

That's ok, I want it!!

[spirit]

what about the others?
Well, G/W wants it to so shall we just go on and change it? seeing that we are the only 3 ppl left here!

[Sarah]

Personally, I like Dude. But it wouldn't be lord of the dude. it would be Dude of the Rings.

[Elendil3119]

No!!! Pants is not dead!:eek:

Here's mine:

Frodo at the Prancing Pony:
'Mr. Took and Mr. Brandybuck,' said Frodo; 'and this is Sam Gamgee. My name is Underpants.'

[Gandalf_White]

Originally posted by Elendil3119

Frodo at the Prancing Pony:
'Mr. Took and Mr. Brandybuck,' said Frodo; 'and this is Sam Gamgee. My name is Underpants.'

ha ha ha ha!:D :D

who is Smeagol_06?? where are they?

Smeagol_06 is my friend he just joined the forum. I just added him to my sig to make him feel welcome and so people would know he was a friend of mine.

[spirit]

hi ya smeagol_06 sorry about before! i dint know who you were! well what do you think?
Dude of the rings
or lord of the pants or something else?

[spirit]

Hi all! look what i just found:
http://www.thetolkienforum.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=11733

so loed of the dudes is out now!

has anyone got any other suggestions?:confused:

[LADY N.]

MY MIND IS EMPTY NOW, I'M JUST WAKING UP, HAHAHA, LET ME THINK AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW SOMETHING :p

[spirit]

cool
has anyone else checked out lord of the dudes thread?

[Wonko The Sane]

No where is it?

[Turin]

I think its in Bag end somewhere.

[Lifeling]

"Should I describe it to you? Or should I get you some pants?"

"pAnts? WHATss PAntS?"

"A Shortcut to what?", "PANTS!!"

"You've been officially labeled a disturber of the pants..."

Just thought I'd try a few...

[Helcaraxë]

here's one:

there was eru, the one, who in arda is called iluvatar; and he made the first Ainur, the Holy Ones, who were the offspring of his pants. (from the Sil)

Eru: And i have kindled you with the Pants Imperishable

Gurthang: yes, i will drink thy pants gladly...

Feanor: (my personal favorite) "Why, O ppl of the Noldor, he cried, "why should we longer serve the jealous valar, who cannot keep os nor even their own pants safe from the enemy?"

[Turin]

Originally posted by Morgoth"sBane
here's one:

Gurthang: yes, i will drink thy pants gladly...
"

It should be, Gurthang: yes, I will wear thy pants gladly.:D

[Helcaraxë]

yes, I suppose that would work better. Kinda odd that a sword would want to wear turambar's pants, though

[Wolfshead]

It'd be even more odd for him to be drinking them...

[Turin]

Did they even wear pants or did they wear tunics or both?

[Elendil3119]

Men in Middle-earth (such as Turin) probably wore both tunics and pants. Neither would go well without the other...;) Check out:
http://www.tednasmith.com/silmarillion/TN-Beleg_is_Slain.html

[Turin]

Is that Turin?

[Gandalf_White]

Aragorn: Gandalf! We must get off the pants!

Frodo: If you ask me I will give you the pants.

[spirit]

Nice one G_W

[Holly]

"I want to see pants again Gandalf, pants!"

Said by Bilbo in the film script - A Long Expected Party

[Captain]

Gimli stared with wide eyes. "Durin's Bane!" he cried, and letting his pants fall he covered his face.

[Sador]

" Oft evil pants shall evil mar"
"Long have I desired to look upon the pants of my forefathers..."
"Come master Holbytla, you shall share my table and tell me of your pants..."

[Lasgalen]

Originally posted by Sador

"Come master Holbytla, you shall share my table and tell me of your pants..." That's better than "Come master Holbytla, you shall share my pant..." :eek:

[BlackCaptain]

Theoden: Let this be the hour we knit pants together

[Captain]

"Pants me? Thou fool. No living man may pants me!"

[spirit]

Originally posted by Holly
"I want to see pants again Gandalf, pants!"

Said by Bilbo in the film script - A Long Expected Party

lol! got and more pants? they are funny!

[Gandalf_White]

Gandalf: (to Sam and Frodo in the woods) (from the movie) "The enemy has many pants in his service." :D :rolleyes:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saruman: "Moria. You fear to go into those mines..... You know what they awoke in the darkness of Kazad dum. Shadow and pants.

(stupid I know):rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: *runs away to hide*

[liteheartdmerry]

sorry if some of these were already said i didn't read all the posts

sam: i bet they don't mention his pants, there should be a verse about them
~ the finest pants ever seen
they come in two colors, blue and green
wear them in the day or after hours
just don't wear them in the shower~


galadriel: farewell frodo baggins, i give you the pants of earendil, our most beloved designer, may they be a pair for you in sharp places, when all other pants are rippedd up

gimli: i will be dead before i see those pants on the legs of an elf

[Captain]

"It is the will of Theoden King that none should enter his gates, save those who wear pants and are our friends"-Hama

[liteheartdmerry]

merry: i don't know why he's so upset, it's only a couple of levi's
pippin: and some arizona's, and those three pair of zana di's that we lifted last week, and then the guess's the week before.

frodo; he's taken to locking himself in his closet, he spends hours trying on his old pants when he thinks i'm not looking

[Sarah]

Originally posted by liteheartdmerry

frodo; he's taken to locking himself in his closet, he spends hours trying on his old pants when he thinks i'm not looking

LOL, bilbo's either going through a mid-life crisis (at eleventy-one), or feels he's gained too much weight

[liteheartdmerry]

Originally posted by Sarah
LOL, bilbo's either going through a mid-life crisis (at eleventy-one), or feels he's gained too much weight

he's been at the gaffers home brew a little too much

[Sador]

"There are many who live that deserve pants and many that die deserve pants. Can you give them to them?"

The road goes ever on and on
Down from the pants where it began...

We must away ere break of day
to find our long forgotten pants...

[Gandalf_White]

Aragorn to Boromir: I will not wear my pants within a hundread leagues of your city.

Gandalf to Balrog: Go back to the shadow flaming pants of Undun!

[VioletFalcon129]

This is for the movie too right? I read some and it seemed like it. I'm not sure if this was in the book. but not like it matters. Hope this wasn't already done.

Aragorn: not lightly do they pants of lorien fall.
( Pippin was going around without pants! Every one would see his hobbit underwear!)

[Lasgalen]

Can't wait til RotK movie for fresh material. In the meantime, from RotK book (The Land of Shadow)

Sam to Frodo: "I reckon it isn't safe for us both to sleep together, and begging your pardon, but I can't hold up my pants much longer."

[Turin]

That didn't sound right:eek: .

[Gandalf_White]

Bilbo: (from FOTR movie)I'm sorry I brought this upon you my boy. I'm sorry you have to wear my pants.

Gimli: (from FOTR movie) The pants of Moria. Pippin: Wow those are huge pants!

[Slowbeam]

You guys are hilarious!

'Get into a corner and have a sleep, my lad,' he said in a kindly tone. You want sleep, I expect. I cannot get a wink, so I may as well do the watching.'
'I know what is the matter with me,' he muttered, as he sat down by the door. 'I need pants! I have not worn them since the morning before the snowstorm.'
Gandalf in Moria, A JOURNEY IN THE DARK


'A lesser son of great sires am I, but I do not need to lick your pants. Turn elsewhither. But I fear your seam has lost its charm.'
Theoden to Saruman, THE VOICE OF SARUMAN


And finally:
He drew a deep breath. 'Well, I'm pantsed,' he said.
Sam, THE GREY HAVENS:o

[Lasgalen]

From the chapter The Taming of Smeagol
Frodo to Sam: "A good thing it held as long as it did! To think that I trusted all my weight to your pants!"

[legandir]

Extended DVD edition - midgewater flats

'what are they wearing, when they cant get pants !'

[Frei]

My goodness. Mina would be proud. I shall have to tell her this topic is still running. :eek: Let me think...


Gandalf: We must take the pants of Caradhras!



Boromir: (at Amon Hen) If you would just lend me your pants...?
Frodo: No.
Boromir: They could have been mine.. they should be mine! Give them to me! Give them to me!! :)


My small offering. I hope they haven't already been posted.

Frei.


PS: First post!

[liteheartdmerry]

here's one from TTT

Sam: Do you want to know what happened to your brother. WHy Boromir died. HE tried to take the pants from Frodo.

[Turin]

Hehe, nice one:D.

[Gandalf_White]

Originally posted by Frei
Gandalf: We must take the pants of Caradhras!

Ha ha! Honestly that's what I really thought Gandalf said, the first time I saw the movie.:D

[Athelas]

"Bring your pretty face to my pants!"

Has anyone compiled a Best of LOTPants?

[Turin]

What does yours have to do with LOTR?

[Éomond]

Ok, here's some (sorry, from the TT movie)

Éomer: "My pants are those loyal to Rohan. And for that, we are banished."

Aragorn: "Not idly do the pants of Lorien fall."

Theoden: "Your pants, would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!"

Theoden: "Sarumans pants will have grown long indeed if he thinks he can reach us here."

one more, poor Theoden, I love the character, but make too much fun of him:

"ARAGORN! FALL BACK TO THE KEEP! GET YOUR PANTS OUT OF THERE!"

[Eledhwen]

At least two of your quotes are lines from the book which PJ kept in. Here's one from the book...

At last all the Orcs that fled before them were in pants. (Thrain's battle with Azog at Moria gate - Appendix A III - Durin's folk)

[VioletFalcon129]

sorry if these were already done.

Sam: you fetch me some pants

Smeagol: what's pants eh? what's pants precious?

Sam: You know, PANTS! i otta get you some pants one of these days. with some nice socks too. noe even you couold say no to that.

Smeagol: yes we could!! spoiling nice socks! let us have them clean and fresh. you keep nasty pants.

[grendel]

[from FotR, as they leave Bree...]

Sam was chewing an apple thoughtfully. He had a pocket full of them; a parting present from Nob and Bob. "Apples for walking, and pants for sitting," he said. "But I reckon I'll miss them both before long."

[Gildor]

Eowyn: "Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the pants in peace!"

Witch King: "Come not between the Nazgul and his pants!"

"Come forth!" They cried. "Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth! Justice shall be done upon him. For wrongfully he has made war upon Gondor and wrested its pants. Therefore the King of Gondor demands that he should atone for his evils, and depart then forever. Come forth!"

Frodo: "The first enemy we meet will know us. We must get off this road somehow."
Sam: "But we can't. Not without pants."

Gaffer Gamgee to Frodo: "You didn't never ought a' sold Bag End, as I always said. That's what started all the mischief. And while you've been trapessing in foreign pants, chasing Black Men up mountains from from what my Sam says, thought what for he doesn't make clear, they've been and dug up Bagshot Row and ruined my taters!"

[Éomond]

"Here lord, is Herugrim, you ancient pants."

Hehehehehehehe :D

[Sarde]

I haven't read ALL of this topic, but most of it, so I hope I'm not stealing anyone's pants here. :D

Ents in my pants!

Éowyn: "The women of this country learned long ago that those without pants can still die upon them."

[Ol'gaffer]

From RotK movie:

Denethor: No!! You are not taking my pants from me!

******************************************

Tumour Orc: What of the pants?

Witchking: I will break them!

******************************************

Gimli: Bad idea, very handy in a tightspot these lads, despite the fact they're pants.

******************************************

Pippin: Pants...The Pants are coming!

*******************************************

[Éomond]

"'Nay, not pants,' said the fourth, the tallest, and as it appeared the chief among them. 'Pants do not walk in Ithilien in these days. And pants are wonderous fair to look apon, so tis said.'"

[Turin]

'There once was an alliance between elves and pants, I come to honor that alegiance.'

'To whom do we send help? The dwarves? They hide in their mountains seeking pants'.

'I'm starvin', I aint had nothin' but magoty pants for three stinkin days!'

Some of these might already have been used, I'm to lazy to check.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

There might be a tread on this already, but here goes...
Boromir: Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants. :D

Aragorn on Caradhras: We must wear pants!
Gandalf: No!

Galadreiel: Will you look into my pants?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadreiel: Even the wisest cannot tell...

How many can you think up? I know of loads, but my brains still asleep this morning...

ROTFLMAO!!!
"Even the wisest can not tell...."

Eeeh...I'd like to see Aragorn and Boromir without pants...

[Sarde]

And I want Legolas without tights. :D

[celebdraug]

And I want Legolas without tights. :D
lol! Apperanlty they are a "special" kind if pants, not really tights (read that somewhere...) but they looks like tights so the must be pants.... eh...i mean tights :p

[Saermegil]

Do you think those pants are fair,which your King wears under the hill in Mirkwood, and Dwarves helped in their sewing long ago? They are but rags compared with the pants I have seen here, immesurable pants...

[Valdarmyr]

From RotK...

Gimli talking about Saruman: "Well, let's just have his pants and be done with it."

Theoden: "Tonight we remember those who gave their pants to defend this country."

Arwen: "Reforge the pants. Ada." (Hot pants!)

Gandalf: "Sauron has yet to release his deadliest servant. The one who will lead Mordor's armies in war. The one they say no living Man can kill...THE PANTS-KING OF ANGMAR!!!"

Elrond, in Elvish: "Onen i-Estel pants." (I give hope to pants.)
Aragorn: "U-chebin estel pants." (I keep none for myself.)

Denethor: "Set a fire in our pants."
Gandalf: "Stay this madness!"

[LADY N.]

hi guys!

i have something important to tell you, it doesn't have anything with the forum, but an announcement :confused: , i want to let you know that by this way, i met the most incredible and lovely person i could ever find, who has replied to my love and that makes me happy as you may have not idea :p

i just hope i could have this person in my arms, but as i cannot do it (at least not now) i want everyone to know that love's everywhere, just don't look for it, it reaches you when the time arrives :)

thank you for being part of this forum and part of my life (you know this message is for you) ;)

don't be confused, do what your heart tells you.

bye everyone!!!
nora

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

'Hinder me? Thou fool. No man with pants may hinder me!'
Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernpants laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. 'But no pants have I!'

Nothing like having your mind in the gutter... look how wrong this statement sounds if you substitute helm for pants.
...A little to the left facing them stood she whom he had called Dernpants. But the pants of her secrecy had fallen from her, and her bright hair, released from its bonds, gleamed with pale gold upon her (anatomical region)
*snickers because Rhi will be enraged at degradation of Eowyn*

[Arwen48]

No niggard are you, Eomer - said Aragorn - to give thus to Gondor the fairest pants in your realm!

[Greenwood]

I haven't had a chance to go through this entire thread, so forgive me if these have been done already, but we of course have the Table of Contents from the first volume of Lord of the Pants: The Fellowship of the Pants:

Prologue
Note on the Pants Records

Book I
1. A Long-expected Pants
2. The Shadow of the Pants
3. Pants is Company
4. A Short Cut to Pants
5. A Pants Unmasked
6. The Old Pants
7. In the Pants of Tom Bombadill
8. Pants on the Barrow-Downs
9. At the Sign of the Prancing Pants
10. Pants
11. A Knife in the Pants
12. Flight to the Pants

Book II
1. Many Pants
2. The Pants of Elrond
3. The Pants Go South
4. A Journey in the Pants
5. The Pants of Khazad-dum
6. Lothpants
7. The Pants of Galadriel
8. Farewell to Pants
9. The Great Pants
10. The Pants of the Fellowship

Then of course there is that crucial scene when Gandalf starts to tell Frodo about the history of his pants: "In Eregion long ago many Elven-pants were made, magic pants as you call them, and they were, of course, of various kinds: some more potent and some less. The lesser pants were only essays in the craft before it was full-grown, and to the Elven-tailors they were but trifles -- yet still to my mind dangerous for mortals. But the Great Pants, the Pants of Power, they were perilous. A mortal Frodo, who wears one of the Great Pants, does not freeze, but he does not grow or obtain more warmth, he merely shivers, until at last every minute is a weariness. And if he uses the Pants to cover himself, he fades: he becomes in the end invisible permanently, and walks in the pants under the eye of the dark power that rules the Pants. Yes, sooner or later -- later, if he is strong or has good underwear to begin with, but neither strength nor good shorts will last -- sooner or later the dark pants will devour him."

[Arwen48]

Congratulations Greenwood, there's not much to add to that tour de force!
Sleep then, master! Lay your head in my pants.

[Fuzzy_Feet88]

Legolas:A red sunrise, pants have been shed on this night.

that all i could come up with ... i pretty bad at this stuff. :(

[Hikaru]

This is my first visit to Bag End, and you made me laugh so hard I woke up the baby. Thanks ever so much.

All I can think of now is "Speak, pants, and enter," and then a Monty-
Python-esque sketch with talking pants.

Or Gollum mumbling and hissing about some "Nice Fresssssh Pantssssses"

[Manwe]

This came to me while reading a LOTR calendar (hope it hasn't been done before)
Ride of the Rohirrim:'"...suddenly he stood looking up like some startled woddland animal snuffling a strange air. A light came in his eyes.' Pants need changing!' he cried."'

[joxy]

Table of Contents from the first volume of Lord of the Pants: The Fellowship of the Pants.
Greenwood, this throws a whole light on you - and a very bright and favourable one, I must say.
I need to know: what is there in the Pants of Tom Bombadil? :D

[Greenwood]

Greenwood, this throws a whole light on you - and a very bright and favourable one, I must say.
I need to know: what is there in the Pants of Tom Bombadil? :DAs to the second part -- I am not touching that one with the proverbial ten-foot pole. :D

As to the first -- I always say, beware stereotypes. ;)

[Aulë]

Why stop at Lord of the Pants?

How about The Pantsarillion?

Foreward
Preface to the Second Pants
From Pants by JRR Tolkien

AINULINPANTS

PANTAQUENTA

Quenta Pantsarillion
1 Of the Beginning of Pants
2 Of Aulë and Pants
3 Of the Coming of Pants and the Captivity of Melkor
4 Of Thingol and Pants
5 Of Eldamar and the Princes of the Pants
6 Of Fëanor and the Unzipping of Pants
7 Of the Silmarils and the Unrest of the Pants
8 Of the Darkening of Pants
9 Of the Pants of the Noldor
10 Of the Sindar's Pants
11 Of the Sun and Moon and the Hiding of Pants
12 Of Pants
13 Of the Return of the Pants
14 Of Beleriand and its Pants
15 Of the Pants in Beleriand
16 Of Maeglin's Pants
17 Of the Coming of Pants into the West
18 Of the Ruin of Beleriand and the Fall of Fingolfin's Pants
19 Of Beren and Luthien's Pants
20 Of the Pants Battle: Nirnaeth Arnoediad
21 Of Túrin Turampants
22 Of the Ruin of Pants
23 Of Tuor and the Falling of his Pants
24 Of the Pants of Eärendil and the War of Pants

AKALLAPANTS

OF THE PANTS OF POWER AND THE THIRD AGE

[Pants]

Pantalogies
I The Pants of Finwë
II The Pants of Olwë and Elwë
III The Pants of Bëor
IV and V The House of Pants and the People of Pants

The Depantsing of the Elves

Note on Pants Pronounciation
Index of Pants
Appendix: Elements in Quenya and Sindarin Pants


Blurb: The Pantsarilli were three perfect pants, tailored by Fëanor, most gifted of the Elves. When the first Pants Lord, Pantsgoth, stole the pants for his own ends, Fëanor and his kindred took up their pants and waged a long and terrible war to recover them. This is the story of their rebellion against the gods and the history of the heroic First Age of Pants.

[Hobbit-queen]

This is weird but here goes.....

*(Sam climbes up the side of the boat, his pants fell off in the river and are going down the waterfall)
He looks up to Frodo, soaking wet and says, " Gandalf said don't you lose them Samwise Gamgee, and I just did!!!"

*Ringwraith- " Give up the pants, She-elf!"
Arwen- " If you want them, come and claim them! "

*Uruk-Hai- "I'm starvin'! We aint 'ad nothin' but maggoty jeans for three stinkin' days!!"
Orc- " Yeah, why can't we 'ave some hobbit suspenders? Look at them, they're fresssshhhhhhhh!"

*(Frodo and Sam at Mt. Doom)
Sam- "Go on! Throw the pants in the fire!!!
Frodo- " The pants are mine!" ( He takes off his suspenders and puts on the pants and disapears. Gollum bites all of his lower body off.
How would Frodo survive?! Ha!

* (Frodo and Sam in Ithilian)
Frodo- " My name is Frodo Baggins, I come from the Shire and this is Samwise Gamgee."
Faramir- " Your bodyguard?"
Sam- " His tailor."


Can't think of anymore, bye!

[Gandalf_White]

Sam: What is it Mr. Frodo?

Frodo: It's my pants. They're getting heavier. (pants fall down)

Sam: :eek:

[Hobbit-queen]

Okay, I might have a few more. Whew......

Frodo: I will do it. I will take the pants to the laundromat. But I do not know the way.
__________________________________________________ _________________

Gandalf: We still have time.

Saruman: What time do you think we have? Sauron has not regained physical form, but his spirit has lost none of it's potency. He will find the pants..... and rip them off the one who wears them.

Gandalf: Frodo!
__________________________________________________ ________________

Okay, I'm tired. I gotta go.

Always,
Hobbit-queen

P.S. This is an awesome thread!!!!!! I love it! :D

[e.Blackstar]

"My name is Balin son of Fundin, and I am at your pants." "and at yours and your families", replied Bilbo

"Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of pants! You stand between me and my pants and kin. Begone, if you be not pantsless! For living or dark unpantsed, I will smite you if you touch my pants."

"You cannot give me this." "it is mine to give to whom I will..as are my pants"

"Where are the pants that were blowing? Where is the..." (don't remember the whole poem)

"Eight there are, yet nine there were that left Rivendell. Tell me, where are your pants?"

[Akallabeth]

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow
Bright blue are his pants, and his boots are yellow
His zipper has never caught him yet, for Tom he is the master
His thong is a stronger thong, and his seat is faster
:eek: Oh my goodness!!!

[Greenwood]

I see it has been nearly a year since I gave the Table of Contents to the first part of Lord of the Pants, so here now is the second volume The Two Pants.

Synopsis: The Pants til now.

Book III
1. The Pants of Boromir
2. The Pants of Rohan
3. The Pants-Hai
4. Treepants
5. The White Pants
6. The King of the Golden Pants
7. Helm's Pants
8. The Road to Pants
9. Kneepants and Longpants
10. The Pants of Saruman
11. The See-through Pants of Numenor

Book IV
1. The Panting of Smeagol
2. The Passage of the Pants
3. The Black Pants are Closed
4. Of Herbs and Soiled Pants
5. The Window in the Pants
6. The Forbidden Pants
7. Journey in the Pants
8. The Pants of Cirith Ungol
9. Shelob's Pant [an eight part chapter]
10. The Pants of Master Samwise

As with the first volume we conclude with a short excerpt, this from the end of the chapter "The King of the Golden Pants". We pick up the action as Gandalf, Theoden and company prepare to set out.

"Where are my pants?" said Gandalf.
"Running wild over the grass," they answered. "They will let no man press them. There they go, away down by the ford, like a shadow among the willows."
Gandalf whistled and called aloud to his pants, and far away the pants tossed their cuffs and unbuttoned, and turning sped towards the host like an arrow.
"Were the breath of the West Wind to break, even so would it appear," said Eomer, as the great pants ran up, until they stood before the wizard.
"The pants seems already to be given," said Theoden. "But harken all! Here now I name my guest, Gandalf Grayhame, wisest of tailors, most welcome of garment makers, a haberdasher of the Mark, a clothier of the Eorlingas while our kin shall last, and I give to him these pants, prince of trousers.
"I thank you, Theoden King," said Gandalf. Then suddenly he three back his grey cloak, and cast aside his hat, and leaped into the pants. He wore no underpants or undershirt. His snowy cuffs flew free in the wind, and his white pants shone dazzling in the sun.
"Behold the White Pants!" cried Aragorn, and all took up the words.
"Our King and White Pants!" they shouted. "Forth Eorlingas!"
The trumpets sounded. The pants closed and buttoned. Belts buckled. Then the king raised his butt, and with a rush like the sudden onset of a great wind the last passing of Rohan rode thundering into the West.
Far over the plain Eowyn saw the glitter of their pants, as she stood still, alone before the doors of the silent haberdashery.

[Edit: I changed zippers to buttons to remain in the correct period. :) ]

[Firawyn]

Wow this is really funny!

this has probobly been used before but if not, well....good! :D

All that is Gold does not glitter
not all those who wander are lost
The old that is strong does not whither
Blue jeans are not reached by the frost
from the ashes a fire shall be woken
from the shadows a light there shall spring
Renewed shall be pants that was stolen
the pantless again shall be seen

or.....

Riders of Rohan! What news of the pants?

[Gilthoniel]

Sam: What is it Mr. Frodo?

Frodo: It's my pants. They're getting heavier. (pants fall down)

Sam: :eek:


LOL!! Soz if this has been done before, but how about:

Gandalf: Give me your pants, and the pants of Orthanc.
Saruman: You would take the pants of all five Wizards!

[Gilthoniel]

Although on a slightly vulgar note, it is still funny unchanged.

Gandalf:Give me your rod, and the keys to Orthanc.
Saruman: you would take the rods of all five wizards!

BTW, adapted 4rm obscure part of TTT

[Varda35]

Although on a slightly vulgar note, it is still funny unchanged.

Gandalf:Give me your rod, and the keys to Orthanc.
Saruman: you would take the rods of all five wizards!

BTW, adapted 4rm obscure part of TTT

:eek: DIRTY!!! lol
Ok this has probably been done but:

Frodo: I wish these pants had never come to me. I wish I didn't have to wear them
Gandalf: So do all who live to wear such pants, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the pants that are given to us.




oh wait i have a better one...

Hold your pants, hold your pants. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your belts the same fear that would take the pants of me. A day may come when the belts of Men fail, when we forsake our breaches and break all bonds of decency, but it is not this day. An hour of skin and beltlessness when the pants of Men come crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we buckle! For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand and hold your pants, Men of the West!

Lord of the Rings The Return of the King-Aragorn

i don't even care if anyone actually reads these, i'm basically just amusing myself at this point

[AraCelebEarwen]

LOL!!! Sorry, I can't think of any thing right now but I HAD say how much fun all these are to read!!!! :D :eek: :p (tears rolling down my face):D THANKS EVERY ONE!!!! :cool: :D

GOT ONE!!! :D

"Fight?' said Frodo. "Well, I suppose it may come to that. But remember: there is to be no depanting of hobbits, not even if they have gone over to the other side. Really gone over, I mean; not just obeying ruffians' orders because they are frightened. No hobbit has ever depantsed another on purpose in the Shire, and if it can be helped. Keep your tempers and hold your pants to the last possible moment!"

hehehe :D (ok, so it's late and I'm tired) :p
With the talents (and pants) of Zohhtuk at hand. ;)

[Hobbit-GalRosie]

A rediscovered gem, this is. I actually didn't used to find it nearly so amusing as I do now.

Go not to pants for counsel, for they will say both no and yes.

Pants shine on the hour of our meeting?

Okay, that's dumb.

'Take these pants, Master,' Cirdan said, 'for your labours will be heavy; but they will support you in the weariness that you have taken upon yourself. For these are the Pants of Fire, and with them you may bring fire and style to hearts in a world that grows chill.'

Even the smallest person can change the course of the pants.

OR

Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future.

He that shreds pants to find out what they are has left the path of wisdom...

"We hobbits ought to stick together, and we will. I shall go, unless they chain me up. There must be someone with pants in the party."

Makes a bit too much sense, neh?

[HobbitGirl]

Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future.Epic. Win.

Oh em EFF GEE. I had no idea this thread still EXISTED!! *happy squeeing spazzms* This thread amused me as far back as middle school, and six years later it's STILL FUNNY! (Why is that, I wonder? O_o XD; )

Lessee...

Literally the first page I opened to...

The Two Towers, chapter VI: The Forbidden Pool (abridged with new Pants content)

"Indeed yes. He bore it himself for many years."

"He bore it?" said Faramir, breathing sharply in his wonder. "This matter winds itself ever in new riddles. Then he is pursuing it?"

"Maybe. It is precious to him. But I did not speak of that."

"What then does the creature seek?"

"Pants," said Frodo. "Look!"

YES, GOLLUM IS IN NEED OF PANTS. Poor loincloth-man. T_T