Lord of the Pants

[Mina Pitcher]

There might be a tread on this already, but here goes...
Boromir: Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants. :D

Aragorn on Caradhras: We must wear pants!
Gandalf: No!

Galadreiel: Will you look into my pants?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadreiel: Even the wisest cannot tell...

How many can you think up? I know of loads, but my brains still asleep this morning...

[DGoeij]

Gandalf: Your fly, you fool!

[Moriel]

Your fly, you fool! **falls off of chair, shaking with laughter**
Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants! **can't breathe**

[Lantarion]

*also falls off chair, grasping his sides and shaking with uncontrollable laughter*
*in the flurry accidentally grabs the mouse, and wrenches the speakers and the screen down with it onto the ground*

Your *haaaaaaahaha*f-f-fly *hahahaa* you f-fool! ROTFLMAO!!! :D :D

You are truly a comic genious. Haha! *wipes a tear off his eyes* LOL, I say.. wheeew

Bilbo: "Do you still have your pants? I would like to see them again."
Frodo: "No, Bilbo my dear. I'm afraid I lost them."

[Mina Pitcher]

Uhhhhhhhh, moriel? I think u might have your signature a bit muddled up!!!:confused: :rolleyes:

[chrysophalax]

ROTFL!!!*many startled people glare at me as I disturb the entire library! DGoeij, I love it!!


Gollum: "Poor, poor Smeagol! They took his Pants and he's lost now!"
Frodo: "Perhaps we'll find them again, if you come with us."

[LadyGaladriel]

Originally posted by DGoeij
Gandalf: Your fly, you fool!


DGoeij - Pure Genuis . I split my sides laughing !


Keep more coming in!

[Mormegil]

Gandalf to the Balrog: "I am a servant of the secret fire. Wearer of the pants of Anor."

[Aerin]

ROTFL you guys.. this just cracks me up!!! :D

Aragorn: I am the wearer of the pants of the West.

The pants that were re-stitched in Rivendell could be Anduril.. hehe

Gollum: Nasssty Bagginsess.. they takes our pantsess...

[Ancalagon]

DGoeij; I am in awe, that is a peach of a one-liner.

Mina-Pitcher: I am inspired, who said comedy was dead?

Gandalf to Sam after pulling him him up by the ear!

'I don't,' said Gandalf grimly. 'It is some time since I last heard the sound of your zip. How long have you been pantsdropping?'

'Pantsdropping, Sir? I don't follow you, begging your pardon. There ain't no pants at Bag End, and that's a fact.'

[Goldberry344]

Sam could say (in the movie).... "I aint been droppin no pants, sir!"

[Gary Gamgee]

Originally posted by DGoeij
Gandalf: Your fly, you fool!

GENIUS:D loved it sooo good

[Lillyaundra]

3 pants for the elven kings, in their hour of pantlessness,
7 for the dwarf lords in their halls of pants,
9 for mortal men doomed to nakedness!!,
1 pair for the dark lord in his pantless relm,
in the land of Mordor where the Buttons fly!!
1 pair to rule them all,
1 pair to find them,
1 pair to bring them all,
and in darkness sew them!
in the land of Mordor where the Buttons fly!!

(I had help!!):D :D :D :D ;)

[Shadowfax]

"Fool of a Took!" he growled. "This is a serious journey, not a hobbit strip-party. Throw your pants in next time and rid us of your stupidity!"

[Tarien]

ROTFLOL!!!
:D :D

[DGoeij]

I'm sorry, its one of those pop-ups. I don't think I can live up to the expectations.;)

[Adrastea]

Don't worry DGoeij ...Your life doesn't depend on it....



"I have come, but I do not choose now to do what I came to do. I will not do this deed. The pants is mine"

"Pants, pants, pants!" Gollum cried. "My pants! O My Pants! blah blah blah.. Out of the depths came his last wail pantss, and he was gone."

[Moriel]

No, no, the siggy is fine, that is the origonal draft for the Ringspell, its in the 'Return of the Shadow' part of the 'Histories of Middle-earth' by Christopher Tolkien. Gotta love it.:D

[LadyGaladriel]

Pantless is he who says farewell when the pants darken!

[Lillyaundra]

Jeans at you service,
Shorts at your service,
Khaki at you service,
Bleached at you service,
Torn at you service,
Dress at you service,
P.J.s at you service,
Patched at you service,
Wool at you service,
Halfleg at you service,
Hole at you service,
Pocket at you service,
And I am Pants at you service,

We are all at your service!!

This is from the Hobbit though......should I delete it???

They are my own, my own, my pantsesss
:D

[Rangerdave]

One pant to rule them all
One pant to find them
One pant to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them

In the land of Mordor
Where Button Fly


God that was awful
RD

BTW Lillyaundra
I think you meant Khaki.

[Ancalagon]

My Nickname on Return to Castle Wolfenstein and Jedi Knight 2 Multiplayer is Purple Y-Fronts! Just thought I would share that interesting fact with you.

[elvish-queen]

ok, my family thinks i'm a bit wierder than i usually am!
Your fly, you fool! ROTFL!!! *wipes tears out of eyes* o, damn, i think I broke a rib, ow.
some of those are really good, I don't have much of a brain for these, though.
Ahh, my ribs HURT!:D

[Mina Pitcher]

I just had a thought... someone tell legoman about this, hed love it!

Legolas: There are some fell pants on the wind!
Gandalf: They're SARUMANS!!!

Gandalf on Orthanc: pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants Gwaihir pants pants pants pants pants Gwaihir go!

[Lillyaundra]

Gollum, where are my pantses?

[Moriel]

thought this up: "Fool of a Took!" he growled. "This is a serious journey, not a hobbit strip-party. Throw your self in next time and rid us of your nudity!"

I told you he was a sicko! :D

[Mormegil]

Arwen in the film: "If you want them. Come and wear them!"

[Shadowfax]

Uhhhhhh, Moriel, I already posted something very similar!:rolleyes: ;)

[Moriel]

sorry, Shadowfax. That may be where my scary friend got his idea. Dunno **stalks off to slap Shorty**;)

[Lillyaundra]

they are the Nazgul, once great king of pants.

[EverEve]

Gandalf: "This is the one pair. He needs only them to clothe the world in second hand flares. He is seeking them, all his thought is bent on them. He musnt find them."

[Shadowfax]

That's okay,
instead of Elfstone, Aragorn is the wearer of the Elfpants!

[BelDain]

'My friends are caught in the pants,' cried Frodo breathlessly.
'Master Merry's being squeezed in a crack!' cried Sam.

[Mina Pitcher]

LOL!!!! Wow, those r brilliant!!! Keep, going, there are loads so far that i havnt heard yet!! Sorry, cant remember anymore! Go 2:
www.ringbearer.org (http://www.ringbearer.org) and find it!!:D

[Moriel]

Originally posted by EverEve
Gandalf: "This is the one pair. He needs only them to clothe the world in second hand flares. He is seeking them, all his thought is bent on them. He musnt find them."

LoL! I love the other one someone posted about the Miss Sixties pants. Had a series of disugsting mental images of Sarumon in pink flare bottems. EEEEEEEWWW. Where my medicine?

[Shadowfax]

Gaffer Gamgee to Gandalf:"I can't abide changes," said he, "not at my time of life, least of all changing my pants."

btw, you guys almost made me get detention! I had a math test, and there was a question that had to do with pants, and I thought of the , "Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants" and couldn't stop snickering until the teacher yelled at me! (it doesn't take much to get me to go off in giggles!)

[EverEve]

LOL! I am the same way, when I've had a lot of sugar, anything will set me off. BTW, thanks Moriel.

[I.am.Smeagol]

Gollum: "Whats pants? ....... eh? eh? ...... Whats pants?"

[Mrs. Baggins]

I would just like to say that this is the best LOTR humour I have seen since the diaries of the fellowship. It's so hilarious! I only wish I were witty enough to come up with something. Oh well, its just fun reading it all! :)

[EverEve]

*smiles broadly then blushes* Thank you Mrs. Baggins! Sure your witty enough.....a lot of this just 'comes' to me :D

[Mrs. Baggins]

Hobbit's Song:
"Hey ho to the world I go
that can find my pants and lose my shoe,
pants may get lost and shoes may go,
but the hidden paaaants are many miles to go!!"


That was rather pitiful, but oh well. It's the best I can come up with at the moment :)

[Gary Gamgee]

Originally posted by EverEve
Gandalf: "This is the one pair. He needs only them to clothe the world in second hand flares. He is seeking them, all his thought is bent on them. He musnt find them."

:p lol brilliant heeheehee

[EverEve]

*blushes* Thanks GGG! Alright heres one...

Bridge Scene in Rivendell with Aragorn and Arwen (movie):

Arwen: Do you remember what I said to you when we first met?
Aragorn: You said you'd bind your belt to me....
Arwen: ANd to that I hold *somehow manages to get her pants off without making it look obvious and hands them to Aragorn*
Aragorn: You can not give me these, th-
Arwen: They are my pants to give to whom I will, as is my heart.

-Throughout the rest of the movie, there are times when you see Strider with his 'special' pants-

[BelDain]

"...Sam came in. He ran to Frodo and took his pants awkwardly and shyly. He stroked it gently and then he blushed and turned hastily away."

[Narya]

Galadriel in the Movie (the very first part) - Not an original idea though, I got this from someone else, and it cracked me up!!! :D




Galadriel at the beginning:
"The world is changed.
I feel it in the earth.
I feel it in the water.
I smell it in my pants."

Forming of the fellowship:
Aragorn: "You have my sword."
Legolas: "And my bow."
Gimli: "And my pants."

Galadriel: "Will you look down your pants?"
Frodo: "What will I see?"
Galadriel: "Even the wisest cannot tell."
Frodo does
Galadriel: "I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my pants."

[EverEve]

OMG!!!! That was great! *falls off her chair shaking with laughter, and hits her head knocking herself out*

[I.am.Smeagol]

*In the Moria*

Gandalf: This frock is above all of you! Run!


Heh, those other ones are great.

[Goldberry344]

lol, hehe, giggle.

In Bree

Sam "We'll have you, long pants!"

Strider "You have brave pants and stout legs, but those willnot save you now."

[Anamatar IV]

I like half as much of your pants half as much as your pants deserve.

[Shadowfax]

narya~"I smell it in my pants"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[Goldberry344]

Celeborn- 8 there are here, yet 9 set out from rivendell, tell me, where is gandalf, for i much wish to see his new pants from the Gap of Rohan....

[Chymaera]

Galadriel: Wear is your lead, Gandalf the Grey, I wish to wear his pants.

Aragorn: I fear My Lady that he has fallen - Fallen into the GAP :eek:

Galadriel: These are evil tidings indeed.

[Chymaera]

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow
Bright blue are his pants, and his boots are yellow
His zipper has never caught him yet, for Tom he is the master
His thong is a stronger thong, and his seat is faster

[Istar]

The only thing that still holds the light of the Pants of Vailnor are the Silmarils. (Sorry, couldn't find the right part of the book to quote!)

[Narya]

Here's another one.

another movie scene. During the Long-expected party, Merry and Pippin.

Merry: Sposed to stick it in your pants!
Pippin: It is in my pants!
Merry: It's Outside!
Pippin: This was your idea!

KAPOW!!!

[I.am.Smeagol]

Oh my.

[Shadowfax]

Ow. That smarts!

[ReadWryt]

Gandalf:

"What it was I cannot guess, but I have never felt such a challenge. The counter-spell was terrible. It nearly broke me. For an instant my pants left my control and began to open! I had to speak a word of Command. That proved too great a strain. My pants burst into pieces...

[Narya]

LOL!!!

That was good.


Here's another, at Bree...again not an original idea...but funny....

Pippin: What's that??
Merry: This my friend is a belt.
Pippin: It comes with belts? I'm getting one.

[Beorn]

Originally posted by Miriel Tavari
I know this has absoluteley NOTHING to do with pants, but anyway:

In Moria when the fellowship is waiting for the cave-troll to brake down the door:

*Ding-dong*
Hey, did anyone order a pizza?

Pippin: I did!
Merry: Me too!
Frodo: Me three!
Sam: Do you have pepperoni?

(they all sit down to eat around Balin's stone coffin)
(Orcs come in:)
Hey! Can we have some too?
(Balrog wakes up from the smell of freshly baked pizza)
What about me?????

Oh, it's gotten cold already...could you heat it up again?
Balrog: Sure!
*flames*
Balrog: My favorite, roast hobbits :D

[Eithne]

lmao :p

[Wonko The Sane]

Movie only:
Between Arwen and Aragorn:

But Arwen you can't give me your pants. I won't allow it, my dear.

They are my pants, and mine to give to whom I wish.

[EverEve]

lmao....sounds familiar:p

[Wonko The Sane]

Someone already posted it?
I didn't read the whole thread.

Oh well.

[EverEve]

*runs over and whispers in his ear that it was her*

[Wonko The Sane]

Ooh sorry.
I'll bet you worded it better too.
Oh well...

[EverEve]

no, not really. but oh well!

[Wonko The Sane]

Yay! You said Oh Well...

I have another Pants thing...

It's not from the movie...it's what I would say to Legolas.

Dear Legolas,
Can I get in your pants?
The End.
Huggles,
Me

[Mrs. Baggins]

I dont know if this ahs been posted before, so dont get amd if it has......

***Gandalf falls in Moria

Frodo: PANTS!!!!!! NO, DON'T GO!!! I NEED THOSE PAAAAAAANTS!!

[Ancalagon]

Gandalf to Pippin after looking in the Orthanc Stone

'Lie there and rest, if you can, Pippin!' said Gandlaf. 'Trust me. If you feel an itch in your pants again, tell me of it! Such things can be cured.'

[Tar-Ancalime]

heres one:

*this is in the movie when boromir is holding the ring on caradaras*
Aragorn:Boromir give frodo the pants
Boromir: but frodo looks so healthy without them.
Aragorn:Boromir those pants are righfully frodo's. Not that I don't agtree with you.
Frodo:brr...i'm cold can I have my pants back.

[EverEve]

LOL!

As Boromir lies, dying, talking to Aragorn near the end of hte movie:

Boromir: I am sorry, they ripped while I fought. I have failed you all.
Aragorn: No, you fought bravely. Gondor would be proud to have you wear its pants.

[Tar-Ancalime]

LOL...can't thinka anymore

[Shadowfax]

In the movie, when Frodo and Sam are preparing to go into Emyn Muil:
Frodo: I don't suppose we'll ever wear pants again.

Sam: We may yet Mr. Frodo, we may.

[Tar-Ancalime]

LOL...still am braindead for ideas

[Anamatar IV]

Aragorn @ the end of the movie (btw-not sure if its been said)

Not if we stay true to our pants. Travel light. Let us go hunt some pants.

[EverEve]

Shadowfax, that was brilliant. You to amerxtremist (btw, do u how hard it is for me to spell ur name?)

[Narya]

from the movie during the council of Elrond in Rivendell:

Boromir: and what would a ranger know of this matter?
Legolas: But this is no mere ranger, he is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, you owe him your pants


another


Boromir: Aragorn? This is Isildur's Heir?
Legolas: An heir to the pants of Gondor
Boromir: Gondor has no pants...Gondor needs no pants!

[EverEve]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats a good 'un!

[Goldberry344]

Roling on the floor sniggling...

Gandalf in moria- These pants are too big for any of you. RUN!

Or when he's falling.... Pull them up, you fools!

[Wonko The Sane]

On a serious note for a moment when Gandalf falls in Moria...That scene was amazing. And not just for special effects reasons...
My god...when he said, "Fly, fools! Fly!" I was hit with emotion..it was so powerful.
I could feel it...it was...wow.
I was in tears the moment he said that...
And then when all the tough men are crying and hugging eachother...
I leaned over to my two brothers and cried and hugged them...

They were scared.

[EverEve]

Goldie: Snaugh!Gigaugh! Im in hysteriggles! Alright how bout this:

Lothlorien, the fellowship mourns the loss of Gandalf the Brey:

Legolas: I lament for the loss of his pants. But I cant say what she said to me, for the frief is still to near.

Boromir: She was in my head. SHe said I would wear the pants of Gondor....My father is a noble man, and I would help him, but I cannot see the glory of Gondor's Pants restored.

Hey u guys, Orli is in a GAP commercial! <---sorry random! *sniggle*

[Wonko The Sane]

NO!! He's tainting his beautifulness by stooping so low!!!

He's a demon of male prettiness and I will not see that tainted!!!

[Elfarmari]

This is still a work in progress, I'm not very good at this, but here goes:

All that are pants do not zip,
All pants are not single but pairs;
The old jeans that are strong do not rip,
Deep threads are not ripped by long wear;
From tatters a leg shall be piece-ed,
A zipper from metal shall spring;
Resown shall be pants that were rip-ed,
The Pantless again shall be king!

[Istar]

Hahaha, very funny!
The 2nd line doesn't really make sense to me. How about "All pants are not single but pairs?"
The rest is great!

[Elfarmari]

that will work.:) The 2nd line I wrote was just something random b/c I couldn't think of anything better.

[Wonko The Sane]

You know what's funny?


Canned cheese.

[Yavanna]

I am shocked! This thread is ripped off! I originally saw this at Imladris by some other guy. Well well well! There's a thief in the house.

_______________________________________________
If theres a bustle in your hedgegrow, don't be alarmed now its just a spring clean for the may queen
:rolleyes:

[Wonko The Sane]

Oh who cares.
Ours is better.
We have canned cheese!

[Jennie]

Actually, several forums have "Lord of the Pants" threads.

"The pants of Saruman are not lightly cast aside!"

"Understand Frodo, I would wear these pants from the desire to do good. But through me, they would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine."

"My dear Frodo. Hobbits are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their pants in a month, and yet after a hundred years, they can still surprise you."

[I.am.Smeagol]

Go Jennie! Great first post. :)

[Diabless]

*going into insanity phase*
Hope no one's done this: From movie:

It began with the forging of the great pants. Three were given to the elves. Linen andd cotton for dancing in the forests. Seven to the dwarf lords. Jeans for the wear and tear of mountain halls. And nine. Nine were given to nine men who above all else desire pockets. But they were all of them decieved for another pair was made. In the Land of Mordor the Dark Designer Sauron sewed a custom made pair. One pair to best them all. One by one the free people fell to the urge of bidding on E-bay for the one. But there were some who resisted. An Alliance of Men and Elves marched against the power of Mordor and faught for the rights to make another pair...Sauron had been defeated. The pants past to Isildur who had this one chance to make multiples of the custom made pants but Men are easily corrupted. Isildur kept the pants...They betrayed Isildur to his death...History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years the pants went out of any fashion until one day when chance came, they ensnared a new wearer. They came to the creature Gollum who took it deep into the depths of the Misty Mountains and for 500 years, he was clothed, bringing to him unnatural good hips and in the gloom of Gollum's cave, they waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world, rumour grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear and the custom made pants percieved. They were back in fashion again. They abandoned Gollum. But something happened then, the pants did not intend. They were found by the most unfashionable (in the pants' opinion) creature. A hobbit. Bilbo Baggins of the Shire...
For the time would soon come when hobbit would be the best trend setters of all! (hobbit music comes in)

MY MASTERPIECE IN ANY WORK OF COMEDY (I hope):p Tell comments please

[I.am.Smeagol]

That was great Diabless! I litterally fell outa muh chair laughing!

[chrysophalax]

Pret-ty dang cool!

[Diabless]

Yay! Praise feels so good:)

[Wonko The Sane]

Pants.

[Legolas_lover12]

OMG!!!:D :D :D :D :D i can't stop laughing! OMG!omg!OMG!lol!LOL!lol!LOL! i can't think of any right now. but mayber i'll come up with some later.
oh, this isn't about lotr, but it does have pants. i hope u don't mind me using ur name wonko. - wonko the sane. pants of gr8 dicardation.
not very good, but hey, i'm tired!

[Wonko The Sane]

For those who didn't get that my signature used to read:

Sock of Gr8 Discardation.

:) I don't mind you using my SN for it. But I have to say that pants just doesn't make sense in that context. I'm not pants. I'm a sock. :)

But actually, I suppose I could twist that around and say that I am like pants a bit...and that's pants in and of itself.
:(

*knows that only herself will understand*

[Dragon]

It seems we have no choice, we must brave the mines of Moria and the pants of the balrog.

[Shadowfax]

Heehee... Welcome to the forum, Dragon. Great first post. Oh, I really love your signature.

Gandalf in the CoE, speaking of his trip to Rohan: [King Theoden] bade me take some pants and be gone, and I chose some much to my liking, but not to his. I took the best pair in the land, I have never seen the like of them.

Aragorn: Then they must be a noble pair indeed.

Boromir: The Riders of the Mark love their pants next to their kin.

Gandalf: And there is a pair among them that might have been sewed in the morning of the world. The breeches of the nine cannot vie with them: comfortable, and a poly/cotton blend. Shadowfax they called them. By day they glisten like silver, by night they are but a shadow. never before had any man worn them, but I took them and donned them, though they were a tight squeeze.

[Dragon]

Gollum to pants: Where are my precious, precious pants? someone has taken my precious, whose seems were sewn perfectly and who fit me perfectly.... okay, they were just a little tight, but it's not like anyone cared, did they? They did?:confused:

[I.am.Smeagol]

Hahaha! My poor pants.. *Sniff* ;)

[Dragon]

This is fun, but I can't think of any more!:(

[Dragon]

Ooh, I thought of one!

Bill The Pony: It's so unfair that pants are designed for humans, elves, hobbits, and all other two legged things, but not ponies! What if a pony wants a pair of pants, can he buy some, nooooo! When they sewed the pants of power for the elves, dwarves, and humans, did they think of the ponies, nooooo! OUR BUTTS GET COLD TOO YA KNOW!!!!!

[Wonko The Sane]

On the Thorin's tomb in Moria:

Here lie the pants of Thorin Oakenshield.

(Ok. That sucks...I'm lame. I know)

[Shadowfax]

Thorin's tomb was in the Lonely Mtn. It was Balin son of Fundin in Moria. Speaking of Moria, I was recently talking to a fan from Boston, and he pronouned in "More-ee-er" I nearly wet myself I was laughing so hard. (No offense to anyone from Massachusettes)

[tookish-girl]

Okay, I've just read through all of this thread and I don't believe anyone's got this one yet. It's from the movie Caradhas scene (not sure if I've remembered it right exactly!):

Boromir: It's such a fuss about such a little thing, a tiny thing
Aragorn: Boromir! Give the pants back to Frodo!



*Sorry Elijah!*

[tookish-girl]

Also, this one's from a teaser poster on my wall:

Power can be held in the smallest of pants.

Oh, and this one: (I'm on a roll!)

Even the smallest pants can change the course of the future

I love this thread!

[Shadowfax]

Mmmmmm... EW's pants.... hehhehheh...

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Shadowfax
Thorin's tomb was in the Lonely Mtn. It was Balin son of Fundin in Moria. Speaking of Moria, I was recently talking to a fan from Boston, and he pronouned in "More-ee-er" I nearly wet myself I was laughing so hard. (No offense to anyone from Massachusettes)

My almost-best-friend is in Massachusettes!! As is the boy I love...*sigh* LIFE SUCKS! (Especially since he loveth not me)

3000 miles isn't THAT far is it? *whimpers*

[Mindy_O_Lluin]

They’ve taken everything, Sam. Everything I had. Do you understand? Everything!
No, not everything, Mr. Frodo. I took your pants and kept them safe, beggin your pardon, Mr Frodo. I couldn’t bear
To part with them.
You’ve got them? You’ve got them here? Sam you’re a marvel! (Then quickly his tone changed.)
Give them to me, he cried. Give them to me at once! You can’t have them!


(This thread is SOOOO funny. Laughing is good. )
:D

[Shadowfax]

LOL! "I couldn't bear to part with them" classic!

[Legolas_lover12]

LOL!!! :D "You can't have them!" hehehehe...................................:D

[Wonko The Sane]

I want them!! I want Frodo's pants...
*swoons*

[Shadowfax]

NO! They're mine! oh, wait, I already have Merry's... ;)

[Wonko The Sane]

YAY! I get Frodo's...but I wanted Merry's too... :(

[Shadowfax]

*runs off, waving Merry's breeches*

Merry: Hey, the scary lady just stole my pants! Come back here!

[Wonko The Sane]

That's hilarious!!!

But Merry's mine, I already called him a while back.

[Shadowfax]

No he's not. Heh, heh. He's being held hostage in my math binder along with Pippin and that awsome scarf!

Pippin: (faintly) help meeeeee!

[Wonko The Sane]

Um...they're BOTH mine...:)

I've already violated their hobbit-hood. :)

[Shadowfax]

Merry: C'mon ladies! There's more than enough hobbit here to go around!

[Wonko The Sane]

:) Ok. I'll share...but I get him on days of the week ending in y.
You can have him all other days.

[Shadowfax]

Hardy har har. ;)

[Wonko The Sane]

:) I try.

[Shadowfax]

C'mon, isn't anybody going to wonder what kind of sick puppy I am that I have so many pics of LotR characters in their skivvies?

[Legolas_lover12]

Shadowfax - i DON'T even want to think about it.
and, I GET LEGOLAS' PANTS........................THEY'RE MINE, MINE, MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D ;) ;) :) :)

[Shadowfax]

Heehee, I've got Legsie's too... but you can have 'em if you want. Here's a pic of him racing out of the pool after I absconded them.
Legolas: COME BACK HERE! NO! DO NOT GIVE THEM TO HER! ARGGGH!

[I.am.Smeagol]

Woooohoooooo! Go Legsie! Hrm, you can have his pants. But I get the elf himself. ;P

[Shadowfax]

Heehee, got some great one's of him in the bath and shower... but don't really want to get kicked off the forum, so maybe I won't post them...

[I.am.Smeagol]

Dont they blur his....errrrr..elf-hood.. out?

[Legolas_lover12]

hehehehe - nice pic:D

[Shadowfax]

thought you might like it:D

[Dragon]

why is everyone warring over pants instead of the characters themselves?

[Shadowfax]

We've already had our way with the characters, the pants are just souvenirs! (heh,heh,heh)

[Legolas_lover12]

oh, and i get legolas' boxers!!!!!!!!!!! well, if they had boxers.........................let's just say they did;)

[Shadowfax]

Hmmmm... they'd be green silk...with mallorn leaves...and "elf boxer" around the top, worn so that about 2 inches os prominently diplayed:p

[Legolas_lover12]

hehehe:D :D

[Smokey]

Someone must have already posted this but I like it.

Frodo: I will take the pants though I do not know the way.

[Legolas_lover12]

no, i don't think anyone has posted that.

[Mindy_O_Lluin]

'Well, well, bless my beard' said Gandalf. 'Sam Gamgee is it? Now what
might you be doing?'
'Nothing! Leastways, I was just trimming the PANTSies under the window, if you follow me.' He picked up his shears and exhibited them as evidence.

[FINGOLFIN]

All that zippers is not golden
not all those who flash us are lost
the new type of denim will not wrinkle
and deep folds do not reach to the crotch

From the sashes a cloth shall be woven
from our Dockers a light shall spring
renewed will be the fly that was broken
and the pantless will again be king

[Legolas_lover12]

:D:D:Dhehehehehahahahaha:D:D:D

[Chymaera]

Originally posted by DGoeij
Gandalf: Your fly, you fool!
Still the best one.:)

[Legolas_lover12]

yes still the best one.

and i also liked

this is aragorn, son of arathorn, you owe him your pants!

[FINGOLFIN]

Elrond to Gandalf...the pants cannot stay in Rivendell!

[Wonko The Sane]

Aragorn: I go where others dare not tread...I must seek out the pants of the dead..

Others: THE PANTS OF THE DEAD?!? NOOO!!!

[Lorien]

The One Pant? Sheesh ME really was in turmoil wasn't it? No wonder there was so much war going on.....all those elves, hobbits, dwarves and men running around without pants *shudder*.

Boromir to Frodo: I must have that One Pant! My privvies are freezin' for pete's sake and Arwen doesn't like cold....um.....I mean my girlfriend, who isn't Arwen, doesn't like...er...Look you damned hobbit just take off those pants and go find a ring or something.

[Shadowfax]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane

Others: THE PANTS OF THE DEAD?!? NOOO!!!

HAHAHA! That was great!

[Rúmil]

Lorien do you think Frodo's pants would fit Boromir? :rolleyes:

[Legolas_lover12]

they might be a little tight;) ;) ;)

[Samwise_hero]

ROFL! I'm sitting in my school class laughing my butt off and everyone is staring at me in a weird way.
This topic is sooooo funny, where do you come up with these things?

[Lorien]

Well, the One Pant fits all, thats why its so important and cherised after.

[Legolas_lover12]

where do you guys come up with these things?

we have way too much free time:D

[Shadowfax]

Amen to that, sister LL12!

[ReadWryt]

Frodo and Sam were led apart and brought to a tent, and there their old raiment was taken off, but folded and set aside with honour; and clean linen was given to them. Then Gandalf came and in his arms, to the wonder of Frodo, he bore the pants and the elven-cloak and the mithril-coat that had been taken from him in Mordor. For Sam he brought a coat of gilded mail, and his elven-cloak all healed of the soils and hurts that it had suffered; and then he laid before them two pairs of pants.

'I do not wish for any pants,' said Frodo.

'Tonight at least you should wear them,' said Gandalf.

[Shadowfax]

heeheehee

[FINGOLFIN]

Here...take these pants to hide you when your in plain view...

:D

[I.am.Smeagol]

Sam, about to leave Rivendell.

"Pants!" He muttered. "I wore pants! And only last night you had said to yourself: 'Sam, dont forget to remove your pants! You'll want to get some if you dont.' And here I am, with my pants on. I want it, but I didnt get any!"

*Blinks*

I never thought I'd type anything of the above sort... Oh my.

[Muffinly]

'Three pairs for the Elven-kings under their robes,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to zip their fly,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One pair to rule them all, One Pair to hide them
One pair to cover them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie.'

He paused, and then said slowly in a deep voice: 'These are the Master-pants, the ones to cover them all. This is the pair that he lost many ages ago, to the great weakening of his power. He greatly desires it-but he must not wear it.'

[Shadowfax]

From the movie:

Sam: You've been in to Farmer Maggot's pants!

Merry: I don't know why he's so worked up. It's only a pair of pants!

Pippin: ...and some briefs! And the boxers we lifted last week, oh, and the thongs the week before!
***
Boromir: For pity's sake, give them some pants!

***
Frodo: Bilbo found it...in Gollum's pants.

[Legolas_lover12]

instead of
"in the land of mordor where the shadows lie" or
"in the land of mordor where the buttons fly"
how about
"in the land of mordor where u zip ur fly"

hehehe:D

[King of Gondor.]

Ok, I saw this on another forum and I thought it was really funny so I thought I'd start it here. Heres how it works, you take quotes from FOTR
and omit one or more of the words and put in its place the word pants. I'll start,


Witch King: Give up the pants.

Arwen: If you want them come and claim them.


See how many you can think of!

[Aeglos_Ohtar]

Arwen to aragorn- Whats this a ranger cought ouf his pants.

[Grond]

"No one knows it's pants, do they? Do they, Gandalf?"

[King of Gondor.]

LOL!! Good ones guys!!

[Grond]

Aragorn to Legolas and Gimli, "Let's hunt some pants!!!" I wonder what they've been doing??? ;)

[King of Gondor.]

What about,

Gimli to Legolas: I would never trust the one Ring in the pants of an Elf!

[Mormegil]

This thread has alraedy been done, here (www.thetolkienforum.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3627&highlight=lord+of+the+pants)

My favourite ones were "Your fly, you fool!"
and "Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants"

[theringbearer]

Bilbo to Gandalf:

In his heart Gandalf, Frodo's still in love with the shire. The woods... the fields.... the Pants

Bilbo to kids at birthday party:

And then, the sun crept over the trees, and turned them all, TO PANTS!

Gandalf to Bilbo:

Gandalf: And what about this ring of yours, is that staying?

Bibo: YES, yes, it's in an envelope over there on the mantelpiece. No, wait, it's right here in my pants

[In Flames]

'I dare say!' said Pippin. 'That is, if the pants goes on so far, and does not simply lead us into a bog and leave us there. Who made the pants, do you suppose, and why?
________

What about the others?' Frodo asked. 'I wonder what sort of pants they are having.

[theringbearer]

Elrond to Isuldor:

Elrond: Cast the Pants into the the fire,
Isuldor: No.
Elrond: ISULDOR!

[In Flames]

LMAO!!!!!

[In Flames]

At this the stranger, Boromir, broke in. `So that is what became of the pants!' he cried.

[theringbearer]

A Dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the Pants.

[In Flames]

Boromir - `I do not feel too sure of this Elvish Lady and her pants.'
_____

Aragorn - "But tonight I shall sleep without pants for the first time since I left Rivendell."

_____

"Why should we not think that the Great pants has come into our hands to serve us in the very hour of need?"

[ReadWryt]

As everyone can see you don't need to create a seperate post for every individual thing you wish to say so I should hope that I won't have to come in here and clean up this type of thing again...

[Muffinly]

But I was going to say something about the Crack of Doom.

[Legolas_lover12]

i think he means puxh post relpy not new thread. u can still say whatever u want about the cracks of doom just reply though don't make a new post.

[ReadWryt]

Naw, I was talking about people making a separate post for each joke...it's nearly Spam if you make three consecutive posts in 4 minutes to tell three jokes one after the other.

[Muffinly]

...and there on the brink of the pants, at the very Crack of Doom, stood Frodo...

[theringbearer]

Orc to Saruman

Orc: The Pants are strong my lord.
Saruman: Pull them all down!

[Legolas_lover12]

hehehe.


movie: when saruman shows gandalf the palantir:

gandalf: a pair of pants is a dangerous tool, saruman.

saruman: why? why should we fear ro wear them?

gandalf: they are not all accounted for, the lost pairs of pants. we do not know whoi else may be watching.

[Aerie]

Frodo: "Gandalf, what's the elvish word for pants?"
Gandalf: "Smellon"

:D

[Tar-Ancalime]

this thread ruined the council of elrond scene for me...when one of you people said "Gondor has no pants, gondor needs no pants" I always have that line stuck in my head during the council scene and laugh

[kalwa_Avar]

So thats not as bad as what happend to me!! On of my friends read the "Gondor has no pants Gondor needs no pants" and 2 days ago he got kinda drunk, and well you get the picture...
*Shudder*

[Legolas_lover12]

LOL. bad mental image.

i always say that. me and my friend think it is hilairious. we are always like "gondor has no pants gondor needs no pants" then we're like "cuz they wear skirts like boromir" LOL

[Tar-Ancalime]

really bad mental image

[Gary Gamgee]

Elrond

'Gandalf these pants are wearing a bit too thin'

[FINGOLFIN]

were gifted 9 pairs of pants....because above all else they desire trousers.

[Muffinly]

No Frodo! Stop fondeling the ring!



This post just doesn't fit anywhere else.

[EverEve]

oh...ok. you know, i had a really good one, but as soon as i finished reading and was about to post..i forgot it. i'll get back to you when i think of it :D

[Precious]

Mr. Frodo?
Yes, Sam.
If I take one more step.....I'll be as far away from home as I've ever been..
Come on, Sam.
....Mr. Frodo
Yes, Sam.
If I take two more steps......
Don't make me kill you, Sam
:mad:

[Wonko The Sane]

Legolas: Do you know to whom you speak? That is Aragorn son of Arathorn, and Isildur's heir!
Boromir: Aragorn?
Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor. You owe him your pants.
Boromir: Gondor has no pants! Gondor needs no pants!

[Anamatar IV]

Aragorn: It is Anduril-Pants of the West.

[Wonko The Sane]

When Frodo is stabbed:

He's been stabbed by a morgul blade...It is beyond my powers to heal. He needs Elvish pants.

[Legolas_lover12]

hey WTS!!! haven't seen you around for awhile ....:D:D

[Wonko The Sane]

I know! Aren't you glad I'm back. :)

More quotes:

Arwen when Frodo's lying on the ground dying: (translated from Elvish) Frodo don't give in now! Come back to the pants!

Arwen when finding Aragorn in the woods: What have we here? A ranger caught off his pants?

[EverEve]

lmao those are great!!!

Welcome back, WtS!!

[Wonko The Sane]

Bows*

Thank ye, kindly.

"They were once great pants of men..."

[EverEve]

Frodo: I will take it! I will take the Pants to Mordor, though...I do not know the way.

S: Well, its just something Gandalf said..
F: What did Gandalf say?
S: Dont let him lose his pants, Samwise Gamgee...I dont mean to!

Strider: They are the Nazgul..The PantWraiths

Wowzers, I have to much time on my hands...:D

[Anamatar IV]

Aragorn: The king gives and takes pants at his own will.

[Legolas_lover12]

LOL. those are funny!!!!

on weathertop when the hobbits are cooking:

frodo:what are u doing?!?!?!
others: just making some nice crispy pants (or something to that extent)
frodo: you fools!!! take them off!!! take them off!!!

ok pretty lame but still .....:rolleyes:

[Wonko The Sane]

And then later when Frodo stamps on the fire Pippin says:

Oh that's nice! Ash on my new Dockers!

[tookish-girl]

I just want to say........

This is still one of the funniest threads on this entire forum I love it!

And also: (from the Council of Elrond scene in the film)

Legolas: This is Isildur's heir, you owe him your pants.

[Wonko The Sane]

Actually I think I already did that one Tookish...but I'll let it slide this time since it's hilarious anyway.
:)

I'm sure this one's been done but it's a funny one too:

Boromir to Aragorn as he's dying: I...tried to take the pants from Frodo.

ALSO

Aragorn to Legolas and Gimli after the breaking of the Fellowship: Let's go pants some Orc!

[EverEve]

Wowie, that was gerrrreat! *pauses to think*

aight, how 'bout when Gollum is all alone in the Misty Mountains (this is from the movies, yall, btw), and doing his lil' Gollum-speak stuff:

G: They're mine, my ownn, my pantssssss. Yess, yess, they came to me, my pantss.

:) :D

[Wonko The Sane]

Gimli, in Moria: And they call it a pants

Boromir: These are no pants...this is a skirt!

Gimli: *slackjawed* NOOOOO!!!

[Anamatar IV]

I JUST HAD ONE BUT I CANT REMEMBER IT!!!!!! GOT IT!

Bilbo: Now it comes to it. I dont feel much like taking them off. Why shouldnt the pants stay with me. I found them. My...levis.

[Wonko The Sane]

Galadriel: So you offer them to me freely. I must admit I have long desired to posess them...blah blah blah...lost interest in this one...

Galardiel: Look into my pants, Frodo. What you will see not even the wisest can tell.

[tookish-girl]

WHat about this. Am sure I haven't read these two yet:

Gandalf: Is it secret?!?!? Is it pants??!?!


or slightly earlier (and funnier!) when Frodo arrives after the party:


Gandalf: Bilbo's ring! He's left it to you, along with Bag End, and all his pants.

[Anamatar IV]

Aragorn: They are the nazgul. Ringwraiths. They will never stop pantsing you.

[EverEve]

LOL! These are great you guyz :)

When the Fellowship is in Moria, waiting for Gandalf to figure out the way:

Merry/Pippin (cant remember which): He's remembered!
Gandalf: No, its just the pants dont smell so foul down hear. When in doubt, alwayz follow your nose!

[Eöl]

aragorn(at weathertop): here these pants are for u, keep them close
merry:oooh just my size, and designer brand too

boromir as hes dying:i would given u everything....my shirt.....my belt...my...pants

[Wonko The Sane]

Boromir, while holding the ring: Why should we not pants it?!

Galadriel's narration at the beginning: The pants are changing. I can hear it in the cords, I can see it in the pleather, I can feel it in the dockers.

[Eöl]

Frodo to Gandald: Your pants are too tight!
Gandalf:A wizard's pants are never too tight, Frodo Baggins, nor are they too big! They are precisely the size he intends them to be!!!

[Anamatar IV]

Frodo: By Elbereth and Luthien the pants! You will have neither the ring nor me!

[Wonko The Sane]

Did I already say this? Can't remember...

Frodo on the rode to Bree: Fellows, I think we should take off our pants...*with shock* TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS YOU FOOLS!

[Eöl]

Galadriel to Frodo: Even the smallest error can change the course of the seam line.
Aragorn to Boromir: Take some pants. These pockets are well stitched.
Boromir: I will find no safety in these pockets.

[Wonko The Sane]

Legolas: There're fell pants on the air!

Or alternately:

Legolas: There's a fell voice in the pants!

[Eöl]

Gandalf to Frodo in Moria: Do not be too quick to take people's pants. There are many who are naked who deserve pants. Can you give them to them?

[Wonko The Sane]

New twist on old favorite!

Legolas: You have my tights!

Gimli: And my pants!

Boromir in high nancy-pants voice: And my skirt!!

[Shadowfax]

HAHAHA!!!! That one was great!!!!! Go Wonko tS!

[Wonko The Sane]

*bows* Thanks, but I can't take all the credit.

My brothers and I watch LotR with the express purpose of thinking up more Lord of the Pants quotes. :)

[EverEve]

Muahha! That was evilly wonderful, Wonko!!! Tell your bro's theyre pretty goooddd....and tell yourself that too, of course...:D

[Wonko The Sane]

I shall tell them. :) Hehe...we're so evil.

I wish they'd let my bro back on the forum. It was fun when he was here. :D

[EverEve]

Who was your bro..and why isnt he on TTF?

[Wonko The Sane]

My brother was wonko...and he was banned for being a pain in the PANTS!!

Hah! How's that?

I don't really want to get into HOW he was a pain in th "pants" but you can PM me if you're really that interested...it was some months ago...
:rolleyes:

[EverEve]

If you've never noticed, Wonko, one with the shape defiecency-or-whatever-that-word-is, Im a lil slow with catching up on 'current' events. So muchos gracias for enlightening me.

That was a good joke by the way...;)

[HobbitGirl]

I don't know if this one's already been used, but here goes...

Isildur and Elrond in Mount Doom:
Elrond: Cast it into your pants! Destroy it!
Isildur: No!

[HobbitGirl]

I have another one!

Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Ring. Only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not share pants!

[Legolas_lover12]

LOLOLOLOL. that is funny!!!!:D

[HobbitGirl]

Thanx...but I don't deserve all the credit. My dad and best friend helped with those.

[Legolas_lover12]

LOL. then tell ur dad and ur friend that those r funny!! LOL:D:D:rolleyes:

[Wonko The Sane]

Elrond at the Council of Elrond: No, indeed it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to wear the secret pants and you are not.

Merry and Pippin: We're coming too!!

Pippin: Anyway, you need people of intelligence to wear this sort of skirt...pantyhose...er...pants...thing.

Merry: Well that rules you out, Pip.

Elrond: Nine trousers to cover the nine pants...

Pip: Great! Erm...who are we pantsing?

[Shadowfax]

Heeheehee!...It's wonderful! I got an image of little hobbits running around ME sneaking up on the agents of Sauron and pantsing them.

[Wonko The Sane]

AAH! I didn't even think of that! I laughed out loud...scary computer lab daemons made me hush though...Hehe.
:)

[Legolas_lover12]

yah all the boys pants each other in gym. william has boxers w/ stars on them and andy wears breifs. LOL

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe...
They never did that at my school...
Although I DO remember that Matt had some boxers that said "ho ho ho" on the band around them...that was amusing. :)

[Wonko The Sane]

Boromir to Aragorn: One day, our pants will lead us there, and the tower guard will take up the call, 'the pants of Gondor have returned!'

[EverEve]

*falls out of her chair, smacks her head on the table, and lays on the floor, holding her head, and gasping for air* Wowzas, that was gerrreaT!

As the four hobbits are running through the Farmer's crops:

Merry: I dont understand what he's so upset about, twas only a couple of socks.
Pip: And some skirts. Oh and those pants we lifted last week...
Merry: Alright Pippin, my point is he's clearly overreacting...

[Wonko The Sane]

*laughs* That's hilarious!!

Or this!

Right when Merry and Pippin run into Sam and Frodo in the middle of the corn fields!

Pippin: Look Merry! It's Frodo's panties!

[Shadowfax]

I do believe I said something like that before....



Originally posted by Shadowfax
From the movie:

Sam: You've been in to Farmer Maggot's pants!

Merry: I don't know why he's so worked up. It's only a pair of pants!

Pippin: ...and some briefs! And the boxers we lifted last week, oh, and the thongs the week before!
***
Boromir: For pity's sake, give them some pants!

***
Frodo: Bilbo found it...in Gollum's pants.

[Wonko The Sane]

Hah! The "thongs" we lifted last week! :D HILARIOUS!!!

Here's a visual one...imagine the evil orcs shooting starched underpants at Boromir instead of arrows...hehe. :D

[EverEve]

Shadowfax: Sorry, I didnt mean too do yours again. Yours was better anyway. :) My apologies :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Frodo is stabbed by the RingWraith's blade at Amon Zul (aka: Weathertop):

Aragorn: He has been touched by the evil pants. Tis beyond my skill to heal...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright so that was REALLY bad...*pauses to think*

When Frodo is talking to Sam at the beginning of the movie, at the Long Expected Party:

Frodo: Go on Sam, ask Rosie where she got her skirt!
Sam: I think I'll just go buy some more pants...

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe!

At The Prancing Pony:

Pippin's sitting down drinking his ale from a stocking...when Merry comes over with a large pair of pants brimming with frothy beer.

Pippin: What's that?!

Merry: These my friends, are pants!

Pippin: They come in pants!? I'm gettin' some!

[Shadowfax]

No, no, that's fine- I know how hard it is to go through so many posts, and then forget what's been done. Some things are obvious.

Wonko tS: I have actually participated in a lingerie war. It was...amusing.

[Wonko The Sane]

Really?! What was it? How did it work?!

[Shadowfax]

Erhem...I *do* hope the discussion of lingerie won't get me kicked off the forum, but here goes. It was at camp and one cabin tried to start a pillow fight in the girls cabins. My cabinmates and I all happen to wear thongs, so we set up our own artillery. Some others responded with bras. Underwires hurt when they broadside you up the face at 10mph.

[Ancalagon]

Oooohh, that sounds like it must have hurt, though how it fits into the 'Lord of the Pants' I am still trying to work out! Now if one group had been Orcs and ...............;)

[Shadowfax]

It was a bit embarassing as well- it happened at night so we couldn't find all of the undies in dark, and had to wait until morning, and unbeknownst to me one of my cabin mates had shot off a novelty pair of mine that were red sequined with bits of feathers and stuff on them. I only got them because they were 50 cents at the shop! I swear! Well, having to go up and retrieve them from the lost and found... I still blush thinking about it today!