The Weeping Willow Pub

[Narya]

Finishes the toilets (all four of them) and goes into the kitchen to cook some buttered scones, and ham and cheeze croissants.

[Snaga]

* Were Snaga here, he would be hoping that Narya washed her hands between those two tasks.

But he's not so ignore this post. And he's an orc, so perhaps he wouldn't care *

[Narya]

*for Snaga's sake, if he were here, Narya did wash her hands between the two chores, and yes with anti-bacterial scurbs too*

[chrysophalax]

Chrys bristles on principle when she sees Ciryaher enter in his customary unorthodox style...

[Narya]

hearing a flaping of large wings, Narya rushes to the door of her pub and sees her dear friend, Chrysy on the doorstep!

Chrysy!!!! I am glad indeed!! Where in middle-earth have you been?? Why, I missed you sorely!! Have you had breakfast? I shall get you some of your favorite dishes!!! then the hobbit scuttles to her kitchen and prepared a luscious meal for her friend.

[Ciryaher]

Ciryaher begins to ramble, "I'm getting anti-drunk! Where's my root beer? And why is there a postage stamp on my forehead?!"

[Elbereth]

*Elbereth stares at Cir's postage stamp covered forehead with strange fascination and concern. *

[Narya]

*Narya gives Chrysy her meal, then hears Cir's complaint. Rushing off to the bar where the tall man was being examined by the Vala. She stands on a chair and looks at his forehead, then takes out a cloth, puts it in her mouth and smears his forehead with it. Ciryaher didn't like it one bit.*

Look, if you're gonna complain and won't let this little hobbit help, I'm gonna have to ignore you. I was expecting you to be drunk by now, because that's not rootbeer, my dear Man, that's a mixture of brandy and whisky stirred in ale

[Ciryaher]

Ciryaher gave a loving look at his krug and takes another sip, "Hmm...well...not half bad..."

Taking another sip, he pulls out his 30-gallon pocket-krug and slams it beside the first. "Fill that one with root beer...and I'll drink this...whisk-brand-ale."

He idly digs around in his pocket for payment and throws a bag of silver on the bar with an anti-drunk wink at the bartendress.

[Narya]

*Narya takes the bag, and gives the man a queer look, half wondering why and half wondering if he will give her more. The winks annoyed her greatly primarily because she can't wink, also because winking reminded her of the winking contest she joined and lost.*

The Weeping Willow pub doesn't serve any rootbeer I'm afraid, you're just gonna have to make do with this concuction I've made. Do you want seafood with that? Or do you want it just as it is?

[Kyrè]

Mirina stumbled back in, unaware of the montrosity sitting next to Cir. She screamed, then stumbled back. Carefully she tip toed around the 'thing' and sat at the bar. 'Coconut juice.. please, and What in Elronds name is that bloody ugly beast!'

[Narya]

Hi Mirina! What will you have for today? We have honeyribs as specials.

[Ciryaher]

Ciryaher ponders, "No rootbeer! Well hell's bells....." He put away his other mug and decided to have something to eat.

"Honeyribs, you said? I'll take a large order of those," Cir said, patting his stomach.

[Narya]

My, my, aren't we the good customer today...Narya said giving the tall man a queer look. She wondered at the new interest Ciryaher had in her cooking. He usually only ever orders non-alcoholic drinks. But seeing that she will get more money, she scuttles off to her kitchen takes a large order of the specials for that day and heats it in the oven for about 15 minutes. She could hear the Emperor or Arnor muttering outside, so she baked him an extra side dish to appease him. Here you go, your highness, an order or Narya Brandybucks' special honeyribs with baked baby potatoes with butter and garlic.Enjoy!!!

[Kyrè]

Yes, how 'bout half a rack of honeyribs.

[Narya]

Half a rack it is! and the hobbit scuttles off to her kitchen and fixes up half a rack of her special honeyribs. would you like some baked baby potatoes with that? Or buttered Carrots and Asparagus?

[Ciryaher]

Ciryaher raised his mug, "May your drinks never sour, and your foods never stale!"

He armed himself with fork and knife and began a strategic assault on his ribs and potatoes.

[Kyrè]

Sure, why not.. how many shillings will that be? I'm so tired. Darn war...

[Narya]

Shilling??? I do not accept anything other than silver and gold. That will be 5 pieces of silver or 2 pieces of gold, yes???

[Narya]

A loud knock was heard in the pbub. A hubbub was all over the shire for they were visited by a mighty warrior from the West. The hobbit pranced toward the door and opened it and there to the amazment of all was a tall woman with golden brown hair and light brown eyes, she was clad in armor with the emblem of the Queen of Gondor in the breastplate, and she smiled as she saw the nimble hobbit at the door.

Greetings! I heard that you served the best wine and honeychops in this place? I wish to have a bottle of wine and an order of your honeychops. then she handed the hobbit a bag of pure gold. It made the Hobbit's eyes gleam, and without a word scuttled toward her kitchen and got busy.

The woman was in fact the new Governor of Dol Amroth, Altaira Telquiare, who had just come from war. :D

[Ciryaher]

Ciryaher banged his mug on the counter quasi-drunkenly, "Hoy! *hic* hoy! Hail the *hic* Gov*choke*ner!"

He then returned to his plate as if nothing had happened.

[Narya]

Altaira saw her uncle on the bar...drunk...she immediately went to him and looked at the mug he just finished.

tsk!tsk!tsk! You know you shouldn't be drinking. You don't drink! Bartender! What is this you gave to my uncle?

Narya hurried out with the honeychops. Well, he ordered for rootbeer, but he entered my pub through the window and it made me quite cross, so I gave him that mix - it's brandy, whisky, and ale. He seems to enjoy it.

[Ciryaher]

"Ichts gyood schtuff! *hic*" Cir said to the blur nearest him.

[Narya]

Altaira shook her head, Where is Eariel when you need her... she whispered to herself. Ok, no more drinks for my uncle, ms.?? and the hobbit gave the tall lady a smirk Brandybuck! And it's Missus Brandybuck to you! Thank you very much. Don't see the point of stopping him when he's enjoying himself this much.

Altaira then took her uncle's arm and put it around her shoulders then guided him to his Emperial coach which was parked outside. Your wife isn't going to be happy, you'd better take him straight home. she told the soldier, and the emperial coach was out of eyesight in a few seconds. Then with a sigh she went back inside the pub. Has Dengen come by yet, we were supposed to have a band rehearsal today, and your pub was the place of rendezvous

The hobbit said no in the most impolite manner and gave the young lady a pint. Why are you so cross with me, I'm a customer.

Not a very good one, that uncle of yours was paying me well, thank you very much

you were making him drunk without his knowledge of it, do you know that that is the emperor of Arnor?

Yes, yes, but they are all the same when they come to my pub.

Whatever, ok, when Dengen Arrives tell me so we can start the practice

if he comes over...he rarely comes by the Shire, you know then she gave Altaira a parting shot with her raised eyebrow and sneering eyes, then scuttled off to the other tables to either bring their orders or clean it.

[Dengen-Goroth]

Dengen rushes through the door carrying his guitar and some other equipment.
"Sorry to be late, you know how those roads are. Some are quite hazerdous, nearly fell into the crack of doom."
Silence drifted through the room, broken by a cough or two.
"Eh, yes. The practice?"

[Éomond]

"Ah, Bartender! Can I have a beer?"

[Éomond]

((Geez, really slow service)) "HEY! Bartenter!"

[Éomond]

"OK!!! Thats it!!!" *Jumps over the counter table and grabs a glass and pours a drink in it* "You better not make me pay for this one...."

[Narya]

sees the newcomer pouring some of her expensive ale into a mug a drinks it down like water. Narya rushes toward the bar and calls out to Chrysy who was just outside finishing her meal. Aye!!! A rascal ain't ya! No one pours himself anything for free round here, and I was busy back in the kitchen, I was. So you better pay up or my friend outside will show you around.


Meanwhile, Altaira sets up her drumset and sees Dengen come inside the bar.

Finally, I was getting worried that you wouldn't come. We need to set up these speakers too. All the instruments will be lined in, including my drums, and tongga. Hands Dengen the amplifier chords for his guitar.

[Éomond]

I'll have another ale. You should have a ringer or bell or something soo I don't have ta jump over the table and pour meself one!

[Ciryaher]

A voice roars in the distance, You'll never take me alive!, and there is the sound of a carriage door opening and a body rolling out none-too-softly.

Several minutes pass, and Ciryaher staggers back into the inn, pointing a scornful finger at Altaira, "Nobody throws ME in a weakling's carriage!"

Sulking drunkenly, he nods to Dengen. The Emperor filled his krug with a keg of root beer that a little yard-gnome with a square hat had given him.

[Éomond]

Ohh Yeah!!! A drunk person! Yippie!:D

[Goldberry344]

Goldie opens the door and walks into the bar. "hey you guys...long time no see!"

[Éomond]

Hullo, nice to meet you!


Check please!!!

[Goldberry344]

hullo. im goldberry, i used to chill here a lot, then i had to go to camp, but now im back...... and can i have a root beer?

[Éomond]

That'll be a Dr. Pepper for me please!

[Ciryaher]

Cir whispers to Goldberry, "They won't serve rootbeer! Here, have somma dis rooty beer!" He then sets a 30 gallon keg of root-beer before her and nods to his krug.

[Narya]

looks at Isildur with an impish grin Here's your check! it states 2 cold pieces. Sees Goldie come in and hollers to her old friend at last! A familiar face in the crowd. So how was camp?? hands Goldie the usual and a saucer of peanuts to go with it.


~~~~~~~~~~~`

Altaira sees her uncle come straggling inside and shakes her head. Looking at Dengen who was just as bewildered as her, she says shall we do a little Bryan Adams for starters?

[Éomond]

Here ya go! Hands over the money I'll be back for some 'ore latter!

[chrysophalax]

Chrys arrives to resume her customary station by the door after an extended holiday. She notes with satisfaction that things haven't changed in the slightest.

[Éomond]

Ok, I'm back, gime a Root Beer!

[Goldberry344]

NO, isildur, this is MY rootbeer, from CYR and LAY OFF.....

Goldy slides a coin over the counter top. "Camp was good, it got kinda boreing ,but i had fun. how was your summer?"

[Narya]

Dengen adjusted the tune of his guitar while the keyboardist played random notes on his Korg Trinity, the Bassist plucked his strings and made funky sounds, while Altaira adjusted the sound of her drums and the headset she wore. Dengen adjusted his microphone, then they settled for a Bryan Adam's piece for starters. Altaira made the count tapping her drumsticks, then Dengen began the famous lead guitar intro of the song Do I have to say the words?


Altaira sang the song:

Rescue me from the mire
Whisper words of desire
Rescue me - Darling rescue me

With your arms open wide
Want you here by my side
Come to me - darling rescue me

When this world's closing in
There's no need to pretend
Set me free - darling rescue me


Dengen and Altaira did the next verse with Dengen doing the second voice.


I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today

Do I have to say the words?

Dengen filled the pub with the notes on his Fender Stratocaster, as he played the solo lead.


Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words


The Keyboardist played, and the crowd inside the pub started to listen intently.


Rescue me from despair
Tell me you will be there
Rescue me - darlin' rescue me

Every dream that we share
Every cross that we bear
Come to me - darlin' rescue me

and again Dengen and Altaira did the next verse with Dengen doing the second voice.


I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today

Do I have to say the words?

The guitar once again took the lead and the pub filled with the notes. Altaira closed her eyes as a single teardrop fell.


Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words

[sauronbill]

"My secrets are only to my heart, human", said the elf queen. But then she looked over the entrance of the place and a figure in a dark cloath came in. His face was lost in the darkness of the black circle that the cloath formed in his head. Her arm grab the arm of the knight .
"I may need your help, for the safety of Gondor!!" the knight was in shock,
"Why what's the matter,angel?" He felt a chill behind his back. THe elf queen looked up. The figure in the dark cloath was already behind the knight. And his hand now visible and dischusting to the view was over something shiny that was hidden inside his cloath. She saw it was a sword.

[Goldberry344]

Goldie climbs up on her stool and follows that song with a song of true quality....

I'm a lumberjack and im okay, i sleep all night and i work all day.
i cut down trees, i eat my lunch, i go to the lavotry,
on wednesdays i go shoppin, and have buttered scones for tea!

Im a lumberjack and im ok, i sleep all night and i work all day.

I cut down trees, i skip and jump, i like to press wild flowers.
I dress in woman's clothing and hang around in bars.

im a lumberjack and im okay , isleep all night and i work all day.

I cut down trees, i wear high heels, suspenders and a bra,
I wish i was a girlie, just like my dear papa

*edit cause she likes the number 1999* I'll keep my rabbit right where it is, thankx. ;)

[Éomond]

Heh! Goldie! I like yur rabbit. Keep it alway from me though!;)

Any way, I'll have Root Beer! You here that ever-one a ROOT BEER! My Friging ROOT BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Narya]

the music of the band made the little nimble hobbit teary-eyed. Sniff! Sniff! That was good! That was she said to the other hobbits and orcs who were sitting on the bar, when she heard a holler from one of the customers. What? We don't serve rootbeer rubbish in this pub!! You want some rootbeer, go to the Burning-Eye-whatamagigger bar!!!

[Goldberry344]

now, that was kinda harsh, narya......keep up the good work.

[Éomond]

Fine! I'm never coming here again!
*slams bar door behind him*

[Goldberry344]

"oh no!" goldie yawns

[Narya]

the nimble hobbit painted a sign and posted it on the door of the pub and it says, ROOTBEER NOT SERVED HERE.

[Éomond]

Do ya have Dr. Pepper? I'll have one of dos!

[Goldberry344]

*Goldie yawns* "Wake me up for something interesting" she says and falls asleep on the bar.

[Narya]

Narya glares at Isildur.

Looking at the counter seeing Goldie sleeping and the band tuning their dischorded instruments, the hobbit decided to call the Federation of Merchants headed by the Vala Elbereth.

[Goldberry344]

*wakes up* that was eventful. now what to do. can i have asomething to drink?

[Éomond]

No, no, not school! IIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me, what do you have to drink here?

Hey Goldieberry, where did you get The Rabbit?

[Goldberry344]

from monty python.......i.am.smeagol found it.

[Narya]

Looks around and sees two orcs fighting over their mushroom order. If the two of you can't share your meal, why don't you order separate? the green orc looked at the Hobbit and said, I wanted mine toasted!!!

then you should have said so, and I would've provided you with one! Orc!

Then she charred an order of Mushrooms and handed it to the green orc who was now leering with delight. that'll cost you of course.

[Goldberry344]

a green orc? ohmy. i thought they were puce....

[sauronbill]

hello guys

[Sarah]

hey, new here. What's up and what's on the menu?

[Éomond]

I'll just have a water, my first day o' High School was today! Man, I don't know any body in my freshman class except for like 4 people. But I know 3 sohps. guys and 2 girls, 2 juniors and 1 senoir. 12 people, but I guess I'm covered in all grades, but some of my classes stink!
NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Anira the Elf]

a figure then bursts through the door and falls to the ground.

[Éomond]

Oh, are you ok?

I'll have a water seeing that the BESCDBar is going wakco!

[Anira the Elf]

( um if i fell do u think im ok.)

the figure stirs and groans as it rises frome the floor. "where am I???" she askes, slightly confuzed.

[Goldberry344]

ok, im prb not gonna be able to post as much as usual as i have shool. geez. on the first day of school, i had about an hour of homework, and thats witout any history or eng, and no major chem. geezums

[Anira the Elf]

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THE AVS???????????? ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

[Éomond]

Nothing wrong with the avas., I think.

I was just being nice!

[Narya]

blowing a whistle to stop the confussion, the nimble hobbit went back to the bar, and made some of her special ale, and drank it down like water.

Ahhh! I needed that. Now where were we???

[Anira the Elf]

i just fell is ne one going to help me off the floor or get me something to drink at least??

[Narya]

Seeing that one of her new customers has fallen on the floor, the nimble hobbit ran to her aid and helped her up, though she was taller than her, and quite heavy for the little hobbit, still she was helped to her feet. Then Narya asked her if she wanted a drink of something, to which she answered "yes" and she was given the same concuction given to the Emperor of Arnor. And with a grin that reached from ear to ear, Narya said to herself, "The tipsier the better. Heheheh! My cash register will be singing all night long!"

[Narya]

Altaira stands up and went straight to the Jukebox in the corner. Looks inside and sees a song that she likes. Takes out her silver coin, and puts it inside the slot, pressed the number and the song started. She then takes her beer, and sits in the table near the corner.

Narya sees the gloom in her face; she decides to approach the lonely figure. ”I like this song myself. I love Elton John you know.” Altaira just nodded. But her tears started falling and she can no longer hide the sadness in her heart. “ Have you ever been so lonely that you stoop low just to have a piece of heaven? Funny really…I’ve always thought of myself as strong and tough. Nothing will daunt me, not even this, yet my heart feels like it will cave in from the emptiness I feel right now. I shouldn’t be this way, not while the war is up. It is not doing me any good. ”

“ Aye. But you have to realize that we pass this way only once, and if you do not feel all the emotions this world has to offer – be it love or hate, sorrow or gladness, victory or defeat, in my humble opinion, you have not lived at all. Then we have to spend our lives wondering, and that in itself is a tragedy. Never be afraid to fall and hurt yourself, you can always stand up, brush away the dirt and move on. It is much better than holding back and not knowing what could have happened if you did take the risk. ”

“ What are you suggesting, little hobbit? That I did well by causing myself immense pain? ”

“ No, by letting yourself know what will happen. Sure you got hurt, but we all do, every now and then, and that’s what makes our lives colorful. It is better to have many colors than dull gray. Right now, I know you must be seeing blue, or darker really. But soon, it shall be bright again, yellow and orange will fill your world once more, then when another heart comes by, it might turn bright red again. “

Narya tried to wink at her, but she couldn’t wink. So instead she gave her another bottle of beer. “ This one’s on me. “

{if you want to hear the song that Altaira played on the jukebox go here }http://www.geocities.com/sunnytees/lwritteninthestars.html (http://)

[ILLOTRTM]

A halfling walks into the bar, not paying attention to anyone else. She sits down at the pub. "Excuse me, it's my first time at this bar. Can I get a pint of ale?"

[Goldberry344]

Seeing that Narya is preoccupied, goldie gets up and gets a pint for the halfling. "Hope you dont mind, Narya....someone's gotta take care of the new customers. you might want to invest in some waiters or waitresses. just a thought." Goldie then sits herself next to then new hobbit and looks over at her. "I am Goldberry," she says, "What brings you to this part of middle earth?"

[ILLOTRTM]

"My name is Cora Mardnab." The hobbit says, taking a drink of her ale. "I'm actually going to several bars, just sort of traveling around, you know? Meeting new people. This place looked decent.... What's up with her?" Cora says, looking at Nayra.

[Goldberry344]

Goldie grins and whispers, "she's under a lot of pressure"

[ILLOTRTM]

*Chuckles* "I can see that."

[Goldberry344]

:D "Ya, shes doing a lot lately. but where are you from? near here?"

[ILLOTRTM]

"I'm from The Shire. I've been around to a few bars looking for a musical act to play at my party I'm throwing on Monday, can you refer me to anyone?"

[Anamatar IV]

anamatar peeped his head out of coras pack. He whispered in her ear, "ya see goldie? Shes gota be the only person ive ever met who cant play the kazoo." anamatar disappeared in the pack and turned up in his own hospital bar. An ale is the best cure for "aleing" (ailing) people.

[ILLOTRTM]

Cora opens her pack and digs around. "He does this every time....."

[Anamatar IV]

suddenly anamatar walked throught the doors and looked at cora looking for him in her pack. He snickered, chuckled, and laughed. Then he ran out.

[ILLOTRTM]

Cora jumps up and runs for the door. "Thanks for everything, Goldberry, I'll be back sometime." Then she dashes out the door and runs for the hospital bar. "Excuse me, but this is where I need to be, do you cure people who are being driven insane by men that repeatedly pop up out of nowhere?"

[Goldberry344]

Righto then. see you later. *sighs a sigh of relief that anamatar decided to start his own bar and keep out of mischief....sorta*

[Aragorn12345]

can I have a pint of the proper 1492?

[Narya]

Seeing that her friend goldie is taking care of some of her customers, Narya scuffles to the bar just in time to meet another human. " Hullo!! Why yes, we serve proper 1492 here, very good year!" and then hands the man his pint. With free peanuts shelled and salted on a nice saucer.

[Eöl]

Celebrien enters the bar, slightly bedraggled but still standing and orders a pint of the strongest wine they have.

[Ancalagon]

There are a multitude of emotions that run through me when I read through this thread and see the happy, spritely posts made by Narya within. This was her bar, and now seems somewhat empty without her. Personally I would like to close this as the owner is unable to tend as she once did. Yet, I wonder should it remain open, in loving memory of one who devoted so much of herself to its upkeep.

I feel a great sense of loss and grief, for a beautiful character and wonderful woman. Where do we go from here...................

[Goldberry344]

I understand how you feel, ancagalon, but also i think that perhaps the bar should be kept open in her honor.

for instance, i have a pm in my inbox from her. i cant delete it, because it reminds me of her and her hobbit character being so cheerful.

[Narya]

I don't know whether to cry, or get really, really, really, furious about this.

Anc, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart I have never felt so loved and appreciated by so many people I have never met. And I wish to say to you all now, that I am so thankful I joined this site, and LOTROnline, because I feel as if I am part of a large family of very good people online, something which is not just rare, but enigmatic.

Then again, so many people were agrieved and many even shed tears for what is obviously the most cruel practical joke I've ever seen.

Thanks and if there is anything I can do to make up for the sadness this news has caused then please tell me.

Goldie, you kept my pm??? Wow!

IC

Are you guys gonna order something or will you just wallow in your sorrows for a bit???

[Éomond]

I'll take a nice large Dr. Pepper please! Soo good to see ya! So we can really start our goverment council thing again!

[Narya]

Well, you better get your behind in that thread, General, because I am in a terrible mood today. And I think the Princess of Dol Amroth needs you right about now!

[chrysophalax]

Chrys bounds over to Narya, licking her face and rumbling deep in her chest. Her favourite person is back! Her stomach growls alarmingly and she looks at Narya with sorrowful eyes. "Mistress, don't leave me again, no one knows how to make roast lamb the way you do!"

She rubs gently against Narya, squashing her only slightly, delighted that all is now right with the world. She resumes her post at the door, growling contentedly to herself, she can't wait to inform Magnus!

[Goldberry344]

*goldie jumps up and down* ayayyayayya. "in honor of your return, i think ill have my first ale....." erp

[Wonko The Sane]

*walks gracefully in rubbing her head*
Wow...that was SOME hangover...

Anyone know how long I've been out for?

Slide me another ale, barkeep! It's time to jump off this bandwagon!

[Narya]

Well, Wonks, I don't think I will give you any more alcohol, cause you sound like you need a LOT of coffee!!

[chrysophalax]

Rumbling impatiently, wondering why she is being ignored, Chrys sits down in the door-way and refuses to move. A Dragon in a funk can be a nuisance...

[Wonko The Sane]

*grumbles*
WONKS WANTS ALE!
Fine...slide me a banana mocha then...

*all of a sudden Wonks grabs her abdomen and falls to floor amidst cries of pain*

OWWW!

[Narya]

*guarantees Chrysy isn't being ignored at all, Narya scuttles to the kitchen to take out her baked ribs in honey - three batches of them - especially prepared for her beautiful dragon. It was meant to surprise her for being such a wonderful friend. And hearing the yammering wonko who was complaining for her drink, she hurries to the door and surprises her Dragon Best Friend with the scrumptous meal. And tries to kiss the enormous Dragon, but couldn't come close without feeling like she was being given a facial, with all the steam. So she just pats her in her front legs and watches as her huge friend gobbles down the treat!*

[Wonko The Sane]

*gets up*
It's alright. I'm ok.

And I was NOT yammering.

*sits at bar politely*

Narya, may I please have a pint? *smiles*

[Snaga]

Snaga arrives at the pub, and is somewhat put out to see a dragon blocking the doorway. Unpeturbed, he climbs in through a window.

He waves a cheerful wave his friends.

Then he pulls out a crowbar, and starts ripping up some floorboards. 'I know its here somewhere... I'm sure of it!' he mutters to himself.

[Wonko The Sane]

*grins at the sight of the delectable Snaga and then queries*

What are you doing there, Snags?

[Snaga]

Snaga grins at the luscious, foxy and marvellously intelligent Wonko, and replies: 'Looking for something!'

[Wonko The Sane]

*laughs outloud at the lovely compliment that The Beautiful Beautiful Orc-Man has paid her*
Looking for what, dearie?

[Snaga]

Snaga lies on the floor, groping around under the floorboards.

'Just some things I left here. Or I thought I did. I like to hide things in places, in case I need them. So far I've just found the water supply. Sorry about the mess, Narya.'

[Wonko The Sane]

*shakes her head*

I'll never understand those orcs...

*absentmindedly traces her fingers over her pointed ears and grins*

I'm so glad I'm an elf.

Barkeep, more rum! Please? ;)

[Goldberry344]

"Snaga, if you're looking for the magic expresso beans, we used those long ago..."

[Wonko The Sane]

*giggles*
Don't mind him, Goldie.
No doubt he's looking for his pants.

And I don't mean trousers.

[Goldberry344]

"I'd think we'd notice if it were his pants..." *looks* "nah, he has his pants. i bet hes looking for the expresso beans*

[Wonko The Sane]

You wouldn't notice if he were wearing pants or not if he were also wearing trousers...which he is...

As far as I know he never wears pants...

*looks at sky*

Look! A comet!!
*trying to change the subject...she needs no more warnings*

[Snaga]

'Ha ha!' cries Snaga triumphantly. He retrieves his poetry book. 'I found it!'

* Looks around, slightly confused. * 'Sorry, did someone say something? I missed that.'

[Wonko The Sane]

*grins into her cups*
Nothing, nothing...

Oh, more poetry?
Will you romance us with your trashy romantic poems please?

[Snaga]

'Oh I don't know. They're only trashy cos each one is actually a secret military message, written in code. Its quite restrictive of artistic expression. Damn... I wasn't meant to tell you that.'

[Wonko The Sane]

*grins* That's so much cuter said in such a delectably English tone.

Since we obviously can't crack your code perhaps you could humour us and just read more of your trashy poetry? Please? Don't make me beg!

[Goldberry344]

*sigh* "POETRY. how CUTE. you know, theres the back room if you guys find it suitable...."

[Narya]

*scuttles out of her kitchen to see snag holding a sort of book and made a frightful mess in her floor* Hullo! What are you doing?? *then notices that Wonko was seducing the Orc* Well, there is a backroom in case you guys need it. *rolls eyes* However Snag, I was kinda hoping you'd come by. I haven't had any news from the outside world lately. And my daughter is coming home from vacationing with her father in Rivendell. She's been nagging me to meet you, a real orc, for she hasn't seen one yet.

Also there's the matter of the October Fest in my pub. Will you help me with the preps?

[Snaga]

Rivendell eh?

* opens books, and leaves through a moment *

There's a whisper down the line at 11:39
when the Night Mail's ready to depart,
saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can't start.'
...

You better send word. According to my codebook, that's not the place to be right now! I can't say more. Its all classified...

[Wonko The Sane]

*giggles at the trashy poetry and then composes herself*

I was so NOT seducing him!!! I just wanted him to read poetry!!
That was me being tame and NOT dirty!!

And besides...Cir told us we had to do our flirting in private...

AND I WAS NOT SEDUCING!!!!

[Snaga]

'Trashy? Trashy?' Snaga is outraged. 'Thats TS Eliott you're calling trashy! You barbarian!':eek: :mad: :p :

[Wonko The Sane]

I love TS Eliot...but he most certainly IS trashy. :)

All the great poets are.

One of my faves:

Whispers of Immortality


WEBSTER was much possessed by death
And saw the skull beneath the skin;
And breastless creatures under ground
Leaned backward with a lipless grin.

Daffodil bulbs instead of balls
Stared from the sockets of the eyes!
He knew that thought clings round dead limbs
Tightening its lusts and luxuries.

Donne, I suppose, was such another
Who found no substitute for sense,
To seize and clutch and penetrate;
Expert beyond experience,

He knew the anguish of the marrow
The ague of the skeleton;
No contact possible to flesh
Allayed the fever of the bone.
. . . . .
Grishkin is nice: her Russian eye
Is underlined for emphasis;
Uncorseted, her friendly bust
Gives promise of pneumatic bliss.

The couched Brazilian jaguar
Compels the scampering marmoset
With subtle effluence of cat;
Grishkin has a maisonette;

The sleek Brazilian jaguar
Does not in its arboreal gloom
Distil so rank a feline smell
As Grishkin in a drawing-room.

And even the Abstract Entities
Circumambulate her charm;
But our lot crawls between dry ribs
To keep our metaphysics warm.


See...I see all poetry as somewhat trashy...but I see it as a good thing. To me.."trashy romantic" is a compliment...I don't have the same innate negative connations with the word trashy as you British do because on the whole, we Americans don't SAY trashy.
So calm down.

[Snaga]

'Sorry about that. I'm an orc, so I get angry sometimes. That poems great.'

[Wonko The Sane]

Yes. Yes it is.
But "great" sure sounds like an understatement if you ask me.

And do you understand what my feelings about the word "trashy" now?

[Snaga]

I am fond of understatement. Its a British thing. Unfortunately, I also like to damn with faint praise, so that can be confusing.

Trashy? If you use that to say you like something, without taking it seriously. At a guess... We'd just use it to mean cheap ****!

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe...I don't mean it that way...maybe I should stop using it if it confuses people. :)

[Goldberry344]

"Hey, Narya, i could make decorations again!!" *gets really excited and starts cutting paper leaves out of the paper napkins*

[Snaga]

Oh yes, the Octoberfest! I nearly forgot.... I guess I can help by putting these floorboards back.

* Gets hammer and nails. Replaces floorboards. Whacks nails into floorboards in an enthusiastic but inexpert manner. Hammers nail through water-pipe causing water to spray all over the bar, the customers etc.... *

Oops!:(

[Anira the Elf]

As anira walks in she gets a spray of water right in the face. She just turns around and walks right back out again. "i'll be back later'" she mutters.( when i'm dry!!!);) ;)

[Goldberry344]

"SNAGA!! you ruined the leaves......." *begins to clean up the water with her now ruined fall leaves*

[Narya]

runs out of the kitchen and slips on the wet floor, hitting her head on the table, and dropping four bottles of beer making them crash on the floor.

[Goldberry344]

*holds up her sopping wet paper leaves* "sorry! im cleaning it up....but it keeps spraying....."

[Snaga]

Snaga rushes over to help Narya up, but slips, and slides on his backside into a table and chairs, knocking them flying...

[YayGollum]

*Truor avoids the floundering orc and wanders around, looking for the food* "Hi, guys! Legoman kicked me out of Buddy's clubhouse. Said I had to find some food. Especially chocolate. oh well. Are you guys charitable, or should I pay for it somehow?"

[Wonko The Sane]

*Rushing over to Narya*
OH MY GOD YOU DROPPED THE BEER!!!

I mean...I mean...ARE YOU OK!?!

*Arianne kneels between the fallen Narya and the wonked Snaga and grabs them both by the collars*
Let's get you OUT of the way of the flying water...

*Drags both of them to a dry corner and begins to check their heads for signs of injury. Narya has a nasty goosegg hatching on the back of her skull but Snaga's thick Orc hide seems to be relatively undamaged..if very wet. Further ignoring Snaga's mild plight she runs to get some ice for Narya's head*

I'm all WET!!! AND I'm wearing a white dress...this can't be decent...somebody find me a towell...or a curtain...or a couple of beer mats or something?!

[Goldberry344]

*throws Arianne her cloak* "Hello, truor, how ya doing?? if you really need money, i can pay for you, but only if you bet on me in the Singles bar...."

*goldie retreats to the back room to get a dry mop and a bucket*

[Narya]

"oh my aching head!" the world was still rotating and the hobbits hearing was affected a bit. "Thank you Wonko! Is Snag ok?"

[Snaga]

Snaga picks himself up from the clattered furniture. 'I hate slapstick! Next the Keystone Cops are gonna come through here...'

He quickly searches for the stopcock (wonder if that will get asterisked), and turns the water supply off. Then he rushes off to get a plumber.

[YayGollum]

"Argh! Crazy Goldberry person, I happen to be the king of the Beornings! Of course I have the money!" *searches his pocketses and stuffs, doesn't find much* "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that case of v&f I bought a while ago. Hmmm...and those fish I had for breakfast. oh well. Sure, I'll go bet on you with what money I do have. We need food at Buddy's Clubhouse! Whatever you want to bring! I already got some fish and chocolate! I'll see you there!" *walks out, feeling bad about not helping* :rolleyes:

[Elbereth]

*walks in*

"Am I too late for the beer drinking contest?"

[Narya]

No elbs. You're just on time. We are decorating the pub, for the Octoberfest. Goldie, I think we should put beer cans in place of flowers in the wreaths that you are making.

I think we should order a few stocks for the beer drinking contest. I am quite stocked up but this may not be enough.

Anyway, can I get you anything while you are here??

[Goldberry344]

*Bends some wire around a bunch of red, orange and yellow fall leaves, artfully placing beer cans around the wreath instead of berries* "What do you think, Narya??" *is proud* "What other competitions are you going to host?? i'd join the beer drinking, but im not that into alchehol...."

[Elbereth]

"Yes Narya, could you get me a irish coffee. I'm a bit chilly. Its amazing how fast the cold weather comes up in these parts."

[Wonko The Sane]

*Immensely grateful to Goldie for tossing her a cloak she covers herself and then retreats in the back to dry off.*

No problem at all, Narya. I hope your head is feeling better.

Snaga, I think you need to refrain from digging holes in the pub from now on...

*Walks over to Goldie and returns her cloak, and then sits down to help weave beer can wreathes*

[chrysophalax]

Having tired of watching lesser beings and their antics, Chrys settles down in the middle of the floor, knowing that she takes up more than the Dragon's share of floor-space. Her meal of wonderful ribs has long ago gone the way of all good meals and she places her head on the bar, gazing soulfully at Narya, hoping she'll get the hint.

[Wonko The Sane]

Hey, Nars, Can you toss me and Goldie some more of those empty beer cans? We need a couple more for the wreath we're making to hang on the door!

[Snaga]

'Get in there you lazy good-fer-nothings!'

Snaga's loud kindly voice is heard outside, and a gang of reluctant plumbers, interior designers, carpet-fitters, carpenters etc pile in hurriedly.

Snaga turns to Narya. 'I got some help. They will repair all the damage. I told them I'd burn down their homes if they didnt, and possibly eat their children too. Sorry for the inconvenience.'

*Looks at Chrys * 'They won't be able to do much with a dragon in the way though.'

* Thinks *

'We could have a poetry reading contest. That could be good, and very cultural too. As you know I am a highly cultured orc, as well as being nice to everyone!' (* Local artisans mutter something inaudible to each other. *)

[Goldberry344]

*gets some more cans and wire* "How big are we gonna make this, Wonks??"

[Wonko The Sane]

Much bigger than Snaga's ego! ;)

So...I honestly don't know. Until it looks finished.

Excellent idea on the poetry Snags! You'd better get right on to composing some more of that trashy romantic stuff we all love so much!

[Anamatar IV]

Ingolemo walked in and threw his staff to the side. "Ive been zapped into a toad 1 too many times. I need an ale!" he sat down on a comfy couch and made a pint appear in his hand. "Oh its good to be magical!"

[Wonko The Sane]

*continues to thread beer cans into the wreath before getting distracted with another idea. She grabs up a bunch of beer coasters...or beer mats in England right? and she folds them and bends them until they resemble a sort of flower...like a lilly or something. She begins to use them to adorn the wreath*

[Snaga]

Thats bad news Ingolemo! Let me buy you a drink. Two pints of your best brown ale please, Narya!

Bigger than my ego? Is that possible?

[Wonko The Sane]

Of course not, dearheart!

*Smiles at the orcs absurdly large ego and goes back to making beer mat flowers*

[Narya]

Ok so that's irish coffee for the Valier, two brown Ales for the orc and the...what the hell are you?? I suppose you're a wizard! More beer cans for the beautiful ladies here, and a hug - as huge as a hobbit can give - to the most beautiful dragon in all of Middle Earth. What else can I do for you, my favorite flying friend??

Then the plumbers started working on her floors, and the sound of the banging got too much for the little hobbit. Excuse me... she ran upstairs and got her earmuffs Ok, that's much better. Lets move a bit here Chrysy. moved a couple of yards away from the banging. Ok...what can I do for you?? Then heard Snag's suggestion of a poetry contest. My! My! Aren't we the arteest today? That is a splendid idea. We also have the Tequila contest, TAP-TAP, and El Bimbo A la Gin.

[Snaga]

Tap-Tap??? Oh my god! Are you crazy? Be afraid people! Be VERY afraid!

[Narya]

YES! MY DEAR ORC!! TAP-TAP!! And I am out of my mind. hehehehehe!!! snickers, then goes back to the Dragon, and tries to coax her to talk.

[Elbereth]

"Yay! TEQUILA!!!" *then screeches rolling her tongue* :D

(hehehe...sorry...got a little carried away there!)

[Goldberry344]

*bends wire and beer cans and such* hrum. can we make a sign, too, narya??

[chrysophalax]

Chrys bares her teeth at Elbereth, flattening her ears at all the noise. She tells Narya that it's WAY past dinner-time and then picks her way carefully through the plumbers and what not. Once outside, she breathes a sigh of relief and collapses under a nice shade tree, there to await her roast lamb.

[Wonko The Sane]

*makes gagging sign with her finger and mouth*

I hate Tequila...got really sick off it once...I think we should do it with rum, eh Snaga? ;)

*goes back to bending wire and beer mats into decorative shapes*

[Turgon]

Serewing strides into the Willow and lets out a raucous Hola! Throwing his pelisse across a vacant stool he sits down and rubs his hands.

'Ossë's beard, it's cold out there! How about something to warm the cockles of an old sea-dog's heart?'

[Wonko The Sane]

*is surprised they didn't censor "cockles"*

What's a cockle, Turgon? You mean like cockle shell?

[Turgon]

Erm... I think so... It warmed the cockles of me heart, it's just a saying, guess it means the inner regions of that most delightful organ...?!?

*edited for gratuitous use of the word 'cockle'*

So er... cocktails all round!

[Wonko The Sane]

I still don't get it...but I sense that it wouldn't be very British of me to be so confused about this saying...so...*pretends she gets it*

Cocktail time?! I want one! Make mine a Manhattan Narya...and after that a Long Island Iced Tea! PLEASE!

*goes back to decoration and takes a large plank of oak out from her magic pockets*

Care to paint a sign, Goldie?

[Turgon]

Ah well - if you want an intelligible answer, I guess you should ask somebody intelligent...:confused:

*Serewing stares vacantly into space, before running wildly about the bar in chase of his tail...*

[Wonko The Sane]

*removes some brightly colored fall-themed paints from her magic pockets and begins to lay out brushes and leaves for stencils and decoration*

Let's get painting, girl!

[Elbereth]

*Stares at the open door and shivers*

"Turgon! Who taught you how to enter a room...don't you know to close the door! It's freezing!" *wraps her shawl tightly about her shoulders and then gets up to close the door*

*Shutting the door...Elbereth returns to her seat by the bar and decides to help Narya decorate the room. After blowing up a few balloons...Elbereth stops and thinks *

"Octoberfest eh? Hmmm..." *whips out cell phone and dials H*

Momments later, Hempdread appears in the Pub dressed in a white shirt and lederhosen bearing a large accordian. Behind him are his two Hobbit pals, Diddy Proudfoot and Murray Hamwich dressed in similar white shirts and lederhosen...and each hobbit is carrying a large box filled with Beersteins.

"Now we can have a proper Octoberfest!"

[Narya]

Gets the idea in Chrysy's head, and scuttles off to her kitchen at once. But This time she roasts for her friend not just two, but eight lambs in honey and garlic and lots of butter and herbs. Then went out and made some cocktails for everyone.

Here's your manhattan Wonks, and a martini for everyone else, try the sour apple martini, it's very good.

Looks at the plank of wood and turns to Goldie What do you s'pose we should put??

Seeing the Ent of fine music enter the room with all his instruments, Narya's eyes gleamed with delight. Wow! Elbereth, this is a wonderful surprise. Thank you for inviting Hempdread over. Yep, one proper Octoberfest coming right up!!!

As they continued with the decorations, the roasted lambs got done, and Narya served her Friendly Dragon a feast!

[chrysophalax]

Enormously pleased at the size and quality of the repast laid in front of her, she gives Narya a very sloppy lick on the cheek and commences eating. *vaguely wounded that Serewing didn't give her the customary pat on the head*

[Turgon]

So that was a dragon outside? Forgive me mighty one... been at sea a long time... plays strange tricks on the mind don't you know!?!

*Serewing rushes outside and gives Chrys a pat on the head, then pulling a handful of jools from his loot-bag lays them in homage at the feet/claws/paws of that most delectable of dragons, hoping above hope that he will be forgiven for his long absence*

[Wonko The Sane]

*eagerly gulps down her Manhattan*
Delicious, Narya!! Thank you!

*she whips out her paintbrushes and dips it into a burnt umber pot of paint and begins to paint red leaves about the border of her sign*

[Goldberry344]

*gets a glass of water and sits down* "hey, narya, do you have anycookies""*

[Wonko The Sane]

Are you going to help with the sign or not?!

[Goldberry344]

*grins* "Of COOUUURRRSSEEE, wonko..." *picks up the bucket of red paint and dumps it on wonko's head*

[Wonko The Sane]

OH MY!!!!

GOSH!!!!!!!
*fumes and sputters and then bursts into laughter*

You're going DOWN, Goldielocks!!!

*dumps a bucket of OFFENSIVE orange paint all over Goldie*

HAH!

At least you didn't get any on my sign!

[Elbereth]

As the patrons of the Weeping willow pub decorate the place, Hempdread begins to play a frolicing German tune on the accordian as his two hobbit friends dance in precision on each side of him.

Meanwhile Elbereth has gathered up some rays of light from a nearby candle and began forming the light into tiny starlets. When she had gathered a lap full of starlets...she took her skirt and threw the starlets in the air...filling the room with magical shimmering lights of various shades and intensities.

[Snaga]

Snaga shouts a cheery 'Hola!' to Serewing. Then it slowly penetrates his stoopid skull that someone mentioned rum. He runs for the door, looking green about the gills.....

He returns to find the floorboards are back down and a new carpet has been put in place.

The plumbers have really excelled themselves in fact going to the extreme length of installing a big fountain in the garden outside, for drunken revellers to reel around and fall into.:D

He rubs his eyes. 'I'm seeing stars. Did someone just hit me?'

[Narya]

Looks disappointedly at the mess Goldie and Wonko made with the paint buckets. " I suppose both of you will clean this mess afterwards??"

Approached the Valier who was busy making little stars, "Oh yes, twinkle, twinkle little stars!!! ha!ha!ha! What a happy occasion and I didn't have to shave my legs too..."

Hears the orc, " No my dearest Orc, you've not been hit, though Wonko over there seems to be thinking of something else to do to you, however, for the time being, you've been spared. I am signing you up for the TAP-TAP game, alright??? Don't say no now..."

[Wonko The Sane]

*A devillish grin spreads across her face she she turns in the direction of Narya and Snaga at the sound of her name*

Hehe. You know me so well, Narya! *winks at Snaga*
*she whips out a magic rag from her magic pockets and cleans up the paint, herself and Goldie. She picks up a brush and paints in small, sweeping letters "The Weeping Willow Pub Presents:" and in larger letters decorated with leaves, pumpkins, and beer steins, "Oktoberfest!" She swirls tiny leaves and more appropriate decorations on the sign before letting it dry. She turns to Narya*

Where do you want the sign, dear?

[Goldberry344]

*bangs her head against the wall* "It's spelt "Octoberfest" my dearest..."

[Wonko The Sane]

OUR Oktoberfest in Fremont is ALWAYS spelled Octoberfest...but if Narya likes I can take an eraser from my magic pockets and fix it!

*takes a swig from her beer mug*

[Goldberry344]

*steals Wonkos eraser, erases oktoberfest and rewrites "Octoberfest" in perdy loopy cursive letters* "HA!"

[Wonko The Sane]

Fine...it's pretty so I'll leave it!
But don't ever go into my pockets again!
*goes to hang the sign*
Where do you want it Narya?

[Narya]

Just hang it outside on top of the old sign.

then turns around to see more customers coming in. I see everyone's excited about the games

[Goldberry344]

"Hey, Narya, aside from the drinking competition, what other events will there be??"

[Wonko The Sane]

*goes outside to hang the sign and then enters again, suddenly sullen.*

What's next, Narya? I'll organize any of the other games, and you'd better sign me up for that drinking contest!

*she looks pensive for a moment and then orders a shot of tequila. When she has the tiny glass in her hand she says* Why am I doing this? I KNOW I'll get sick...hmm...Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger...*she tosses the oily liquid into her throat and swallows grimacing* I can handle this...I won't get sick this time.

[chrysophalax]

Grins a toothy Dragon grin at Turgon, delighted by the proffered gems. Placing one daintly clawed foot on his boot, she makes him promise not to neglect his favourite Dragon in future.

She then growls at the workmen making the fountain a little too close to her resting spot beneath the tree. They immediately withdraw to the far side of the yard and begin again.

[Wonko The Sane]

*shakes her head trying to clear the Tequila fuzz from her brain*

Thanks...I needed that. Nothing like self-medication, punishment, and a little self-pity to clear the mind.

*she goes to sit under a table in the corner* I'll be here thinking if anyone needs anything...

[Narya]

Ok, so Turgon is in the Beer drinking contest, Wonko, and Myself, and Goldie you wanna join in?

The Mechanics of the Beer Drinking Contest:

In real life, we all stand in front of a large table with a pitcher of beer in front of us and a long straw in our mouths, and when the referree says go, we all drink the beer inside each individual pitcher with the straw, until the referree says stop. The one who has drunk the most beer of course wins.

But since we are Online we will do it much like the same way we did with the pie eating contest, however there's a catch. Chrysy will be the referree.

For each post we make until Chrysy says stop will mean that we are still sipping the beer. Whoever has the most post means has drunk the most beer.

If everyone has agreed and has prepared thyselves already, Chrysy will tell us to start.

[Elbereth]

I want to join the Beer Drinking Contest!!!

[Elu Thingol]

Can I join in too?

[Narya]

Ok, so here is the final list for Beer Drinking Contestants:

[list=1]
Elbereth
Narya
Turgon
Goldie
Wonko
Elu Thingol
[/list=1]

[Wonko The Sane]

Can I do the beer drinking thing from under my table?
Because I don't think it's quite time to come out yet...

Ooh...wait...*leaves the table enters the back room and comes out dressed in a filmy, sexy outfit made of cloth that looks like autumn leaves. She goes back under her table*

Ok...NOW....as I was saying...I don't think it's time for little Wonks to get out from under the table...so....

[chrysophalax]

Amused at being included in the proceedings, Chrys again squeezes into the bar, filling up the smaller side of the room. "If all are present and accounted for? Very well, Begin!" Her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, she curls up to watch the lesser beings pollute themselves. What fun!

[Elbereth]

Elbereth picks up one beer stein and downs it with a flick of her wrists, as if it were a shot...and then picks up another beer stein and downs that with equal skill and speed. ;)

"Lesser beings! I don't think so Dragon!" says the Valier in defiance.

[Goldberry344]

*tosses wonko her cloak again* "i really think you'll need this for a bit..."

[Elbereth]

Elbereth grabs a Coronna w/ Lime and downs it...letting out a yelp after she drains it's contents.

"Quick get me another!" Elbereth says slightly breathless.

[Elu Thingol]

Elu grabs a Pils and downs it easily. "Another Another! I'm in a hurry!!"

[Goldberry344]

posts

*grins* "Chug it, chug it......oh, c'mon you guys!"

[Elbereth]

Grabs her second Coronna and not even waiting for the lime she begins to chug the golden brew. When she finishes she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and then reaches for a Pint of Fosters.

[Elu Thingol]

Elu reaches for a beer that says O'dules oh wait that's non-alcoholic:D . Passing it up he goes for the of plum Vodka and chugs chugs chugs.

[Goldberry344]

*goldie gets behind the bar, puts on an apron and begins refilling glasses with stronger stuff.....* *evil cackeling laugh heard*

[Elu Thingol]

Elu now slightly swaying notices Goldberry doing putting some kind of substance in the glasses. Wow! He mutters I got to get some of that! He stumble over and starts drinking them all!:D

[Wonko The Sane]

*Dons Goldie cloak and downs her first ale in record time, aware that she's painfully lagging.*

I need better computer access if I expect to be a contender!

[Elu Thingol]

Elu has know moved to rum: brown rum, green rum, red rum you name it, he will drink it:) .

[Wonko The Sane]

*Grins* Don't let Snaga see that! He HATES rum!!

*pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels and takes a pull from the bottle, then she downs a vodka Martini, shaken not stirred.*

I'm SOO James Bond!

[Elu Thingol]

Elu is no pretending as if he is in the revolutionary war??? What's going on here? Oh, he just downd some Sam Adams.

[Wonko The Sane]

*drinks some more ale*
Gots to run...I know I'll lose but I can't miss this bus! BYE!!

[Elu Thingol]

Now Elu is dressed in a jelly doughnut outfit saying "Ich bin ein Berliner" and drinking Berliner Weisse at the same time. The red kind:D .

[Wonko The Sane]

*just downs another ale and tries to ignore Elu's flashy show. She pulls out a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and taps away at that and then pulls out a 40 of Mike's Hard Raspberry Lemonade and drinks to her little hearts content*

[Elu Thingol]

Elu has now started with light wines. He downs a couple of Sangria's and relaxes in an armchair. He keeps muttering "pretty green fairy" who knows what that means.

[Elbereth]

"YOU SILLY FOOLS! THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE A BEER DRINKING CONTEST!!!"

*Elbereth grabs a her Sam Adams and downs it...and then follows with a Sappora Beer*

[Elu Thingol]

Heck I can't tell the difference anymore. HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEH, Elu picks up a 26 pack of bud-light and downs every can. Uck! tastes like water!

[Elbereth]

"26 PACK!!! I guess I will have to pull out the big guns here. Hempy! The Kegger!"

*Hempdread, still dressed in his lederhosen comes into the room with a kegger of Heineken....and then props Elbereth up to do a Keg stand*

*She finishes the Keg in 2 minutes flat!*

[Elu Thingol]

Elu watches Elbereth down the keg. Ohh.. I think I'll just have some more plum vodka.

[Elbereth]

*After finishing the keg...Elbereth is a bit wobbley...but is still standing.*

"WooooooooHoooooo!!!!! Bring on another one!"

*Then colapses on the floor*

-ten minutes later-

*Pops up from under the table*

"Amigo! Mucho Cerveza, por favor!!!"

*Hempdread shaking his head, passes her a bottle of 'Presidente' Cerveza, which she chugs in seconds*

[Elu Thingol]

Elu drinks another Sam adams and begins dancing around yelling "When you feel like waking up it's foldgers in you cup!" and then collapses.

[Elbereth]

*Then Elbereth lines 5 pints of beer in pretty Beer Steins...and then to the music of Beetoven's 9th Symphony she drinks them all one after the other not skipping a beat*

[Elu Thingol]

Elu sits shocked, he can't believe she didn't miss a beat even though she was drunk. Oh well, he sits back with another Pils and says aloud "I like the 5th symphony better!"

[Elbereth]

"Ah, Elu Thingol....you underestimate a Vala."

*Then she places a bottle of Michalob Draft on the ground...and then does a handstand. Now upsidedown, Elbereth picks up the bottle with her mouth...then pulls herself right side up and chugs the beer expertly with no hands! She then bows to the audience of bar patrons*

[Narya]

The little hobbit tries to finish her 1st pitcher of beer, and marvels at the other contestants who seem not to be affected by the alcohol.

[Elbereth]

*Elbereth smiles at hobbit. Gives him a drunken thumbs up, and then grabs a picture of Bud Light*

"I would like *hic* to dedicate this next pit..*hic* pit *hic* pitcher of Beer...to all yous lovely peoples *hic*...cause I lurve you *hic* so much!!!"

*Then taking a funnel, she pours the golden brew down her throat. Finishing, Elbereth lets out a breathless yelp...and as the crowd cheers, she realizes just how full her blatter is and she runs to the ladies room faster than she has ever run before*

[Wonko The Sane]

*lines up a 12 foot table of beer steins full of a lovely, dark German brew. She runs down the table, downing one after another after another*

Why am I not drunk yet?
*she pulls a keg from her magic pockets, opens the tap, and drains it dry*

Yummy!

[Elbereth]

*Returns from the ladies room*

"Ok I think I'm good to go for another Keg of Beer!"

*Hempdread rolls in another Keg of Heineken, and proceeds in draining it's contents*

[Elu Thingol]

Elu ignores the Heineken, and moves on to the real German beer. He downs two Pils.

[Elbereth]

*starts to feel sick*

"I think I need some food to go with this beer. Waiter! Some Kielbasa and Kraut please!"

*grabs a six pack of Coors and downs each can one after the other*

[Elu Thingol]

What's this mates? What's this? Why its Fosters!! Australian for beer. Elu chugs five Fosters and then starts speaking with an Australian accent.

[Elbereth]

*A plate of food is put in front of Elbereth and she eats with delight. The food not only absorbs most of the alcohol in her system...but renews her thirst....and she grabs one of Elu's Foster's (which she stole from his six pack) and finishes it with one swig...and then takes the can and crushes it against her forehead as 'the locals' do it* ;)

[Narya]

the hobbit now feels the alcohol rising to her head. Feeling tipsy she lets go of her first empty pitcher. Grabbing her second and starts to sips it.

[Éomond]

Hi Narya, if you're not too drunk, could I get a Rum? Stirred, not shaken.

Um, so what's happening here guys? How ya doing?

[Elu Thingol]

"We're having a drinking connntesssssst" Elu collapses. But he gets back up and heads back to the liquor cabinet.

[Wonko The Sane]

*turns her head sharply in Elu's direction as her ears descry the beautiful hum of an Australian accent. In her beer induced stupor she has to resist the tempting urge to jump him.*

Focus, Wonks! Focus!! You're drinking! Don't let the boys distract you! Nothing comes between a lush like you and her beer!! DRINK, WONKS! DRINK! *she chants in her head. Then she walks a bit unsteadily to another nearby keg and drains it. As she finishes it off she collapses on the floor and looks up at the ceiling.*

I see stars! *someone steps on her hand as they walk by*

OW!! *she gets up and reels around to face her foe, ready to fight, but in the process of reeling around she falls down again. She shrugs, picks up a Corona with Lime and resumes her merry debauchery*

[Elbereth]

*Holding a piece of speared Kielbasa in one hand and a beer mug in the other Elbereth peeks under the table at Wonko*

"Of course you are seeing stars Wonko...I just made them a few hours ago...they usually don't burn out until morning." ;)

*She then finishes her mug of beer and grabs a Sappora Beer to add variety to her meal. *

[Wonko The Sane]

*sits up straight and looks at the ceiling* Oh...so you did!

*picks up another kegger and downs it with the practiced swiftness only a college student at an Irish-Catholic University can know*

GO FIGHTING IRISH! *she hiccups* KICK FLORIDA STATE!! *consumed by her school spirit she picks up an Irish ale and downs it too*

[Narya]

*begins to see triple* Ok...Chrysy...don't *hic* you th*hic*...think...we should...*hic* stop now???

[Elu Thingol]

Elu has now changed his accent from Australian to Irish. He grabs a Guiness and downs it. What the heck he downs a whole keg of it. Whoa now that's some bitter beer:eek: .

[Elbereth]

*Looking at the group around her...her comrads... getting drunker and drunker...and yet still remaining concious...Elbereth suddenly gets very sentimental and loving*

"You know *a tear wells in eye* .....YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT! i LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I'M JUST SO PROUD OF ALL YOU!" she says slurring.

*She then raises her can of Sappora*

"I wuld like to toast all yous guys...for being just sooo...lurvly.."

*swigs the last of the can and falls over backwards in her chair*

[Goldberry344]

*sighs* im so glad im sober. this wouldnt be any fun otherwise"

[chrysophalax]

Chrys had found the contest more challenging than it had appeared at first glance, yet the literal-minded Dragon had kept a sharp eye on the amount of BEER drinking actually occurring. After carefully tallying things, she declares Elbereth the sodden winner of the 2nd annual Octoberfest Beer-Drinking Contest!!!

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Elu Thingol
Elu has now changed his accent from Australian to Irish. He grabs a Guiness and downs it. What the heck he downs a whole keg of it. Whoa now that's some bitter beer:eek: .

*Still quite drunk* Don't make me JUMP you Elu!!

[Nimawae's hope]

Wow!! Haven't been here in some time!! Anybody care to tell me what's been going on?....Besides the general drunkenness:D :D

Hello, Goldberry! Long time no see.
Would somebody please go to the stuff and bother section and start discussing the many hilarities of Robin Hood: Men in Tights! Wonko, I still hold you to your promise. I expect you there PRONTO!! (Well at least by Monday....I'll be gone for the weekend)

[Wonko The Sane]

On my way, Nim!

We just had a *hiccup* drinking contest!!

Elbie won...but Elu...is being...*hic* Irish...and he just might have to hide from me if he doesn't stop! ;)

[Nimawae's hope]

Really!?! Well, he may have more than one person to hide from if he isn't careful!! Hehehe....a little weakness of mine you know.

Does that mean the drinking contest is over? I sure could use a stiff ale. To bloody gloomy over here. Looks rather like Britain.

What else is happening.....or are we trying to figure out something else?

Later, Wonks!

[Wonko The Sane]

More contests later!! Narya has all the details so you'll want to ask her! ;)

As far as Elu goes...you can have him AND his lovely faux British accents!;) I've got plenty Englishman enough elsewhere! ;)

[Nimawae's hope]

*Sigh* Must you hog them all? They are very limited in population around here. Very sad....*sob* Now I need an even stronger drink!

[Wonko The Sane]

What? I SAID I have my own Englishman elsewhere...you can have Elu Thingol and his many faux accents...why are you sad?! That's a GOOD thing!

[Elbereth]

*Wakes up from a drunken slumber*

"Where am I?"

[Goldberry344]

*whispers in elbe's ear* "you are in my pocket....."

[Wonko The Sane]

*turns drunkenly to Goldie*

Well where am I then?

*falls over*

[chrysophalax]

Chrys is rather bemused at all the hoopla created by British accents. She herself is partial to the Canadian accent...(no offense to Snaga, Turgon and the rest...);)

[Wonko The Sane]

Canadian!?! WHERE DO YOU LIVE, CHRYS?!?
In the Pacific Northwest we HATE canadians!! AND their accents...(Well...my best friend is from Canada...but still...ssshhhh you'll ruin our image!)

And no offense to Snaga indeed!! *attempts to turn up her nose at Chrysophalax but realizes that she is lying on the floor so she just rolls over and starts to sing songs from "The Little Mermaid"* Singing:* What would I give to live where you are? What would I pay to stay here beside you? What would I do to see you smiling at me?" *rolls back over*
I need *hiccup* another drink!!

[Goldberry344]

ah, wonko, you have traveled to the deep, empty pits of your brain. you are now exploring the empty chasms and dark crevasses between your ears....