Poetry (Merged threads. HLG)

[Gandalf The Grey]

Lantarion:

Just a short commentary rather than a thorough line-by-line going over, as I am travelling between five different cities over Thanksgiving weekend and am without reliable computer access.

Your poem "Shattered" recalls "The Voice of Saruman," and the palantir being cast down from the tower of Orthanc. Of course reading through this lens, it is not the seeing stone itself which physically disintegrates ... but rather Saruman and his ambitions which are dashed into ruin.

Gandalf the Grey

[Lantarion]

Beautiful! Really nice; it's simplistic but still striking.

Welcome to TTF! :)
FYI, the Stickied 'Poetry (http://www.thetolkienforum.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=380090#post380090) '-thread is the place to post poetry, comment on others' poetry (a very rare practice these days :rolleyes:) and read other people's poetry. As the title of the thread might imply. :D

Welcome again; wonderful poem. :)

[Elentári]

OOops!!

I'm sorry I really didn't see the thread.:(

Thank you though for the comment and telling me where to post my poems in the future.:p

[Halasían]

As poetry it is quite good, but to gain a feel of its lyrical quality I would have to hear it sang with the music. Its hard to critique songs without hearing them, for they may seem awkward in word but flow great when sang and acompanied with music.

[Elentári]

Hey everyone!

I love to write poetry and so I hope that you don't mind me posting in here...

This is a poem that I wrote about Arwen. Please excuse the way that I write free style-a lot of people don't like it but it suits me the best.

C&CC (constructive c.) are welcome!:D

Arwen’s Song-----

Echoes fall
Around as I walk,
So cold and silent
In the woods I once loved.
No more songs,
No more light,
They are all gone away,
To the undying lands.
This was my choice
To stay behind,
To watch my death
Come slowly after long
Nights have made me numb.
There is nothing left
Of what I once knew;
Gone are all,
Only memories remain.
This was my choice
To see the world change
Forget what once was;
But I do not regret it
Though my heart is broken.
I had joy
Such as never before,
In the arms of Aragorn,
In the time of love;
All was perfect.
Oh! that was my choice
And I loved it well.
So now as I walk
In empty wood,
On silent feet
With echoes surrounding,
I remember joy,
Remember time past;
My heart is happy
Even unto death.
This was my choice,
I chose well.

[Lantarion]

Excellent ending, and even within the poem there seems to be a struggle of whether Arwen is happy or not.. But the ending says it all. :)

Again any critique of my poetry would be great, I'm sort of in a literary rut right now.. :o
Well here's something I wrote before I got this mild case of writer's block (more like writer's boredom really, but the point is I haven't written squat in a long time). ;)

Yule
The flame is warm and peaceful
The candle a jolly red
The snow outside quietly lit;
A passage, softly tread

The candle a jolly red
Silence of amber and green
A passage, softly tread
With stars a silver sheen

Silence of amber and green
The happy shouts serenely stilled
With stars a silver sheen
Of liquid bliss is filled

The flame is warm and peaceful
The happy shouts serenely stilled
Of liquid bliss is filled
the snow outside, quietly lit

This style of this was actually inspired by a person at deviantART called ~Bryianzum (http://bryianzum.deviantart.com), whose poetry is all in this style.. I've never seen it before and certainly never tried it out before.. I'm not completely happy with this onw but it's serene, like I wanted it to be. :)

[Elentári]

I like this, Lantarion. I don't know quite what you were going for but it sounds good to me!;)

I like the second stanza the best!:D Very pretty!!

[Elentári]

This one is untitled as I had run out of ideas for that day.
C&CC welcome!
----------------
How much had the world
Changed
Since we first came.
How have the ages
Passed
Adding joy upon sorrow.
No longer are we the
Same
As those we once were.
No longer do we
Act
Nor believe, nor trust.
Too much had been our
Pain
Too much our suffering.
We can no longer
Hold
To what we once thought.
We are no longer
Strong
We have faded.
Faded like the bright
Stars
Which pierce the sky.
Now the light of
Men
Has overcome ours.
Our hour is now
Come
We shall become memory.
But memory too will
Vanish
Till there is nothing left.
No trace to see
Where
We are gone to.
Yet it is the
Way
Of things such as these.
Old must do be
Gone
Before new arises.
So our passing shall be
Silent
As the passing of days.
And men must rise
Up
And fill what we leave

[Lantarion]

Absolutely excellent, that was really striking!! It was referring to the Elves leaving Arda, right? Very poignant imagery, good job. :)

This is another Christmas-poem, comments apreciated. :)

The Silent Woods
The silent woods aren't swaying now
they rest their laden boughs
Their carven arms all decked with snow
that glim'ring facets house

The silent woods have gone to rest
no discourse marks their sleep
With marble-laid horizons set
their dreams are white and deep

The silent woods retain their strength
but keep it locked away
Their locks once green with snow are wreathed;
their wond'rous white array

The silent woods will watch me pass
and in their sleep will stir
For Lady Nature knows my name
and they doth worship her

Oh arm your awls of ambience
and set your sleeve to stir
For yonder Yule I yearn again,
the forest of fragrant fir

[Elentári]

Time to bump this thread! ;)

This poem is called Elvish Cry---

Oh Queen of the Stars,
Listen to me now.
All earth is gone cold,
All paths now dark,
Show me the way,
My way back to Valmar.
“Light the sky!” is my cry,
With the light of the stars.
Illuminate the path
For my final return.
Forget not the Quendi
Whom, in your love,
You gave Anarríma.
Listen to me now,
Hear a cry on your throne
You who hear all,
You who give light.
Give light to me now
I beg, oh Tintallë.

And also someone translated it into Elvish for me. I don't really know how accurate it is but I think that people here can tell me! :p
-----------------------------
A Elentári,
Sín á lasta nye.
Ily' ambar inícië,
Ilye tier sí mornë,
Á tana i tië,
Tienya ata Valmarenna.
“Á calya Menel!” yellonya,
Rilmanen tinwion.
Á calya i tië
Pelienya tella.
Á manda elwenessë i Quendi
Yain, melienya,
Antanelyë Anarríma.
Sín á lasta nye.
Á lasta yello mahalmanyanna
Elyë hlárala ilya,
Elyë antala calma.
Sín a anta calma nye
Yalinyel, a Tintallë.

[Lonna]

:p
It's great to be back. My husband, 2 young children, and I survived the wildfire on our mountain. So did our house, though several friends of ours lost theirs. The two weeks of evacuation was a pain, not knowing if everything would burn or not, and the Los Angeles T.V. news was sending out wrong information.

Then we had the Holidays, fatal mudslides, and floods.

Well, let's hope 2004 will be better for Lake Arrowhead, CA! I think the whole world watched our mountain burn (100,000 acres, 1000 homes, and 10 businesses) and saw those tragic mudslides that killed whole families.

But most of our towns, hidden behind the Summit, remained intact, as if God put His hand around them--and changed the weather from hot Santa Ana winds to snow in October. And a line of firefighters stood on Strawberry Peak, thrusting their shovels into the ground as they said to the fiery monster,

"You shall not pass!"

And the trees are holding their own against the rains, keeping us from sliding off the mountain.

I finally finished my book, "I Saw You in the Moon," the sequel to my cancer survival story, "Crossing the Chemo Room" (check out my website to read sections, with photos & ordering info.). The new book should be available this January. I will promote it mainly through http://www.amazon.com

Writing that sequel nearly killed me! I'm going back to fantasy novels for children & teens. My eleven-year-old daughter and her friends want me to write another "Selah" book, though I have only one chapter so far--and that needs revising.

Writing never truly ends. There's always a story to tell.

May you all have many stories this year.

God bless,

Lonna

[Lantarion]

It has always been my assumption that 'words' like nye in Quenya are supposed to be added to existing verbs, instead of existing as seperate words.. But I know nothing on the matter, so nevermind. :D
Also, I noticed that in the english version it says "paths", plural, but in the Quenya it says tië.. SHouldn't that be tiër? I dunno. :rolleyes:

This is an excellent poem though; althuogh it seems to me to be more like a translation into English from Quenya! :D It has a Tolkien-like quality to it though. :)
comments apreciated

[Lantarion]

Here's my latest. I hope its theme is at least fairly obvious; it was inspired by a sensual but unusual photographical artwork at deviantART of the same theme.
EDIT: The compostiion of my poem would not show up properly here, so here's the link to the poem: 'Beginning' (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/4616736/).

Comments are appreciated.

[Lantarion]

What on earth has happened to this thread?! Is poetry not appreciated any more, or have poeple just stopped writing it? :(

Anyway, here's my newest one..
This was unexpected.. This is what I'd call flow of consciousness, I just sat and wrote this down.
I had the first two lines ready, from a few days earlier.. And this is the outcome. Odd.
But I hope you like it, I did manage to say something here despite its abstract nature.

Wrought
These mechanical gods, kept together
with straw and wafting cogs
Hovering, humming like
the soundless menace of the sea
far away, beauteous in its absence
They try and fail and flail, but why?
corpses of chrome and polished clouds, lending eternity
a hand in its heavy, heavy bundle
Clockwork, mechanism, can you hear them rumble?
doors, doors, and towers three by three
deathlessness and lifelessness set Time's keeper free
Grass, sense its tender vibrating presence
with your many servants, needless and needed
and the forest will laugh, having
but little care of such matters

Echoing, echoing and then stillness.
A blissful, blissful quiet in the ever-present roar
A peace is here whose pistons wooden
were not here before

Thus it spins, uniformly knocking
Knock, knock, knock! And a hearty feast
to celebrate
Long live that ever-soulless King, who in his might
hath kept it far hence; these frail forms, the most slender thing
standing before that endless ring

[Gandalf The Grey]

On Patrol

Rangers on their forest trail
Among strangers take their ale
Returning duty’s call with smiles
Protecting realms that stretch for miles
The less you have the more you see
The worth in breathing sunshine free
In the warmth of friends and kin
Home is better than an Inn.

Unremarked by folk unknown
With eyes as sharp as eagle’s own
Keeping teeth of wolves away
Where peaceful crops are grown by day
And kettles steam with stew at night
Round windows frame the firelit sight
Of the warmth of friends and kin
Home is better than an Inn.

Passing to the Age’s end
Soon the road will show a bend
Hope remains as shadows fall
In worthy folk, both big and small
Together against Enemy’s power
Heroic deeds will light the hour
For the warmth of friends and kin
Home is better than an Inn.

-- Gandalf the Grey

[Lantarion]

That was spectacular! The rhyme scheme is excellent, even though often that style (AABBCC etc) is difficult to sustain without the air of forced rhymes. There was a tiny hint of that, but it was just in the wording and it was not a noticable thing. :)
You gave a very insightful look into the life of a ranger, from a sort of 'chronicler'-point of view in the first stanza, and in the second. In the first you sem to have the theme of duty and pride as a ranger or soldier; especially the line "returning duty's call with smiles" suggests this, although it could be seen as a sort of anarchistic or refusing smile. ;)
I love the way you introduce simple, familiar home-life elements into the second stanza; it does give a new perspective on what it is these rangers are actually defending. And it gives a very homey and comfortable feel to that stanza, almost ironic seeing as the rangers cannot experience them because they are busy defending them!
The last stanza is uniting, in a way, telling how all will basically come together against a common enemy. The lines "Hope remains as shadows fall/ in worthy folk, both big and small" are powerful, and lyrical.
And the repeated line, "Home is better than an Inn", is very innsightful, a good way to translate the duties and lives of these diligent rangers.
And when you use terms like 'end of Age', 'Enemy' and 'little folk', it makes it clear in a hu,ble way that this is (apparently) about the Rangers or Dúnedain of the North.

Great job, thank you for that. :)

[Lonna]

It brought to life the world of a Ranger. And it is so true that home is better than an Inn.

When I was living out of a rental car, with 2 kids and too many suitcases, staying at different "Inns" for a month in New Zealand, I really missed my cozy California mountain home at times. But without those Inns, without stepping on a journey to an unfamiliar place, we lose out on many adventures.

[Gandalf The Grey]

Dear Lantarion and Lonna:

Many thanks for your kind words and thoughtful feedback. * bows *

"On Patrol" was inspired while I was listening to the song "Concerning Hobbits" from the FotR soundtrack CD. While that is one of my favorite songs on the CD, it evokes a certain wistful pain ... and did so even more acutely at the time in my life during which I wrote the poem.

And of course, where would we be without Inns? Spending philosophically quiet, observant nights under clear open stars by a campfire has its rewards, but then too one longs for the warmth of companionable conversation and song under a sheltering restful roof.

There are times when I would be willing to do with a few less adventures, trade them in for the promise of a more normal life. But then, AD ASTRA PER ASPERA, the gift of adventures is a treasure deserving of especial gratitude, and comfort remains in the knowledge that the road and destination meant for us leads Home, however long or short a journey it is, however different for each one of us.

Looking forwards in the hopes of seeing more poetry here, :)

Gandalf the Grey

[faila]

this is really a chorus of a song:

There is a path to take
there is a choice to make
will you choose to do whats right?
or will you do whats wrong?
will you see the light?
or will you sing that evil song?

[Lantarion]

That was really good faila, I especially liked how singing was used as a metaphor in the final line; somehow reminiscent of the Ainulindalë, and it's a pwoerful image. :)
Did you write it though, or is it from an actual song?

PS: I'm in the process of writing a poem (on and off), I'll put it up as soon as it's done. :)

[faila]

That was really good faila, I especially liked how singing was used as a metaphor in the final line; somehow reminiscent of the Ainulindalë, and it's a pwoerful image. :)
Did you write it though, or is it from an actual song?

PS: I'm in the process of writing a poem (on and off), I'll put it up as soon as it's done. :)
Its froman actual song that i am in the process of writing.....Cause im starting a band... or well have started........heh.

[Lonna]

I'm rereading "The Two Towers" again and am amazed at the poetic lines Tolkien slips into his prose. He uses similes (comparing one thing to another) quite often, which is a poetic device. Here's one describing Gandalf's hands:

"A gleam of sun through fleeting clouds fell on his hands, which lay now upturned on his lap: they seemed to be filled with light as a cup is with water." (page 132, authorized Bantam edition).

Isn't that a great description? We could learn much from Tolkien's poetic prose!

[Lonna]

Here are 2 of my favorite poems (both by Emily Dickinson):

I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us--don’t tell!
They’d advertise--you know

How dreary to be somebody!
How public like a frog
To tell one’s name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

*********************************

Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne’er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.

Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag to-day
Can tell the definition,
So clear, of victory,

As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Break, agonized and clear.

***************************

I like them because 19th Century Emily never knew fame or fortune or even saw her poems published, yet those poems are loved today throughout the world. She had a great sense of humor, imagination, and humility.

Go Emily!

[Lantarion]

Ahh yes Emily Dickinson has some awesome poetry.. I studied her briefly (for a few weeks) in the ninth grade. She used to write poetry on the walls and tapestries of her house, I believe! :D
And these two are really wonderful poems, I agree; but to quote Ciryaher, from the first page of this thread,
We need some poetry around here. Original poetry only, please.

I think what he meant was poetry written by ourselves. ;) But this was a very nice deviation from the usual, thank you Lonna. :)

[Lonna]

Lantarion,

Yeah, I knew this wasn't original, but we could all learn from Emily!

Here's an original one:

"Points of Light"

When life is too busy
and exhaustion holds me down
like weights,
I walk outside
into the forest
and look up.

Dark trees
like sentinels
encircle the night sky
with stars between their branches
and the wind blows down
from points of light.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

May I post here something which was inspired by LotR some time ago?

Here it is:

Projections on the blue sky:


White and blue fill my vision

the time is up, I have to make my decision,

so clear and sharp, sharper than knife,

this image in my mind and I face the strife.


I have to be strong and hard like a rock,

I'm about to sail new waters from this dock,

I'm about to make my move to see the open sky,

I'm going to leave my mark before I die.


But my soul is in division,

I'm on a course towards collision,

of everything I ever believed in,

I have to confess this deadly sin.


I love to see this land so green,

more freer than I've ever been,

all the struggles approved as they come,

in this scene there's nothing wrong.


I walk on this field of greenest grass,

my soul so glad it forgets the former clash.

On this place by the river I establish my camp,

I walk without shoes where the ground is damp.


Starry night sings me a lullaby,

I succumb to this feeling by and by,

I stare at the sky and reach something from you,

the eyes that said there was something I could do.


Yet time, it went by and killed the moment,

and those days are far, though I still lament,

nothing can take these feelings away from me,

nothing can take me to where I should be.


Yet this is not an easy or a simple thing,

all here has such diversity, even sin,

and to love those next of kin is sometimes to hate,

to strive for honesty can be nothing but a fake.


For some, to live is to die sometimes,

and to die is to live forever in people's minds.

The lakeside and the mountains are my friends,

I am happy to take in all that heaven sends.


I climbed up the mountain one day,

I sat there for a while and then did pray,

Whoever sits on the throne of all this land,

please I don't want my life crumble into sand.


These things that possess each of us,

they are merely some whims in time's flush,

and I made up the decision sitting on a mountain:

I have to reach for you and find the life's fountain.

[faila]

Ireth Telrúnya that was great.

Heres one, and like most of my others it is really a song that im writing and wont be completely finished till its recorded and burned on a CD.

You tell me its not love
but I say it comes from above
You say it will go away
but nothing can even keep it at bay
Every day I love you more
Just step through the open door

When i look in your eye
I never want to say goodbye
When I look in your heart
I never want to part
My love for you is so great
That forever I will wait
out to you does my heart pour
Just step through the Open door

With you I do walk and talk
and I see you balk
I wait out side the door
as your words make me sore
but i forgive and just sigh
the door will never close till I die

When i look in your eye
I never want to say goodbye
When I look in your heart
I never want to part
My love for you is so great
That forever I will wait
out to you does my heart pour
Just step through the Open door

Its not done but its getting their...criticism? advice? btw its the one I love....if that wasnt slightly obvious.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

Thank you, faila. Maybe my poem needs some polishing..

Have you already recorded your poem? Have you shown it to the one it was for? Lovely.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

Hey can I'll just experiment here a little..I sit too much before the pc screen and I should really practise writing more...
LotR is on my mind now all the time so...

This Land

On those beautiful hills I long to wander
walk through the thick woods under the sun
there's no place like this, no such wonder
but perhaps there, where our souls return

I listened to the songs of this land
I wandered through meadows to the shore
the sea carried its song to the beach sand
and I did hear the tune from a clam core

The sun melts the horizon to the sky
as I watch the final light growing dim,
I see the stars lit up, by and by
and only light then will the moon bring

The evening breeze cooling the air,
behind the trees I walk to find shield
and fall in the spell of a night so fair
the sleep comes over me in a field

And I sleep, sleep and dream
all the battles are over and won
but now there's a sun beam
for it's morning and another day under the sun.


(there could have been a better ending, but in truth, I'm in a very drowsy state right now...)

[Khôr’nagan]

I wrote a poem outlining the history of Melkor and Sauron, and though I'd like to post it, I'm afraid it's 636 lines long, and I don't think it would fit in one post, and people also might get mad at me for posting such a long poem. So I will only post an excerpt, if I may:

And he with them forged many Rings
Grand and mighty of all things
Nine he gave to the kings of Men
Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, and then
Greatest yet was wrought for Elves
Three mighty Rings for just themselves
But then did Sauron leave them there
And went back to his fiery lair
To Orodruin, mountain of fire
And thus was he seen as a liar
For there he made the greatest yet
And no jewel upon was set
But writing dark and bound with spell
Wrought in characters black and fell
And thus did Celebrimbor hear
That which was beyond all fear
That to the One were all others bound
And upon it was their power found.
Thus began a war so full of hate
And scoured were lands fair of late.
In that span of seven long years
Many were the shedding of tears
For many people would live no more
And help they called from Númenor.
Such aid was then received so great
That no power of evil or hate
Could cow that force, and run did they
Who served Sauron in that day
And for a long count of years
Few was the shedding of tears
But Sauron returned and in his pride
Claimed a title to thus abide
The King of Men was that name.
But hearing this great Númenor came
In fury of pride, and so great were they
That all who saw them ran away
As from over the Sea did he traverse
Ar-Pharazôn, the Golden One, and cursed
Was he to endure an evil fate
To be corrupted and turned to hate.
He marched upon Sauron so grand
And in pride did Ar-Pharazôn command
Sauron himself to come with him then
Prisoner of the true King of Men.
Deserted by his Orcs Sauron agreed
And in Númenor helped grow the seed
Of the desire for immortal life
And thus he encouraged strife
Between them and the Valar great
So that they would retaliate
And they destroy that race of Man
Who were a nuisance to his plan.
And within fifty years or so
Sauron did thus succeed to sew
Dissention in the hearts of Men
The desire for life, and then
Ar-Pharazôn sailed to Valinor
But the Valar did much, much more
Than Sauron had thought they would
And from afar the Valar then stood
And they then called upon Ilúvatar
The All-Father, not some avatar
And the Ultimate Lord, creator of all
Then standing declared the doom to fall
And beyond Sauron’s greatest fears
The Isle of Númenor, aged many years
Was cast down beneath the Sundering Seas
As if it had been of great ease
But some escaped that evil fate
For those of Númenor free of hate
Had left before and sailed away
Towards Middle-Earth and off-shore lay
With four ships and treasures had they
When their beloved Númenor passed away.
Then came they fast upon winds great
Nearly flying were they, so fast was their rate
And then they landed, free now from foe
Upon the lands where they dwelt long ago
And in the destruction of fair Númenor
They had thought Sauron was made no more.
But wrong they were; Sauron yet did survive
Very much so strong and alive
For no Maia may be thus slain
Only their bodies, which can be made again
And thus he went back to his realm
To order his servants to make sword and helm
And wrought for himself a new form he did
Black and burning, but yet he hid
Away in Mordor until he had made
Ready for the war that had long been stayed
And in this time the Nazgûl came
Black and burning with evil flame
Kings of Men they were before
But they were Kings of Men no more
For Sauron gave the Nine Rings of Men
One to each of the Lords, and then
They were corrupted and in good lost faith
The Nazgûl, the evil Ringwraiths
And despair they dealt with but a cry
And wounds they gave from which all would die.

[Lonna]

Nice poem! I like the line lengths, elvish words, and the rhyme scheme.

[Khôr’nagan]

Thanks. Like I said, it's only an excerpt, but I tried to pick one of the better parts of the poem to post. It's quite long in total, otherwise I'd post it all.

But anyway, I think I'll go ask to join this guild now, before I post in it again.


EDIT:

Oh and by the way, here's a link to the full poem, if anyone's interested.
http://www.brianworsham.s5.com/custom2.html

The poem is titled "Melkor and Sauron: Through the Ages" and is the third poem displayed on the page.

[Gandalf The Grey]

* heartily applauds the masterful wordsmithing of Khôr’nagan's poem *

Verily, you've captured the epic quality! :)

[Kelonus]

Hey everyone! I wrote a poem to win for a $1,000 Grand Prize in Poetry.com and recieved a mail stating I am a semi-fianlist to win the grand prize and an annual grand prize of $10,000. They are even going to publish my poem in their book, Eternal Portraits. I hope all goes well for me. You all should check out Poerty.com if any of you haven't.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

Wow! Khor'nagan, very much Rings poem that looks like. I haven't yet read of the history of Melkor and Sauron. It's in Silmarillion?

[Khôr’nagan]

*Bows greatfully to the kind words of all the distinguished members*

Well, well, well, Kelonus, it would appear that we have quite the coincidence, for I myself have also submitted a poem to that same contest and I also have received a letter saying I'm a semi-finalist and that my poem will be featured in Eternal Portraits.

However I am afraid to say that I think the contest winner has already been decided, because on the site they say that they choose in January, and January is almost a month passed already.

But congradulations on your accomplishment, Kelonus. And indeed Poetry.com is a magnificant site.


And Ireth, yes indeed this information is within the texts of the Silmarillion (at least for the most part I believe).

[Khôr’nagan]

Um...... Okay...... Poetry.com is a scam. I can't believe it.

Did anyone here know of poetry.com? Because it would seem that both Kelonus and I were fooled by their treachery. It turns out that no matter how bad your poem is, it will be a semi-finalist, and they'll send you a letter saying it will be published in their poetry book. Then they ask if you want to buy it, and of course many people would, so they would buy this book. I do believe that it's actually sent to you, but it's full of junky poems, I think. It's a massive scam, and I hadn't seen it coming.

Does anyone else find this surprising?

[Ireth Telrúnya]

I know the poetry.com. I have written some poems there and got many letters which plead me to go to California to read my poem before thousands of people. I got an anthology book from them (had to pay for it) but I see they mostly do business by making people feel they are suddenly great poets and arranging these glamorous occasions. Anyway I think it's a good site to practise poetry if you like writing poems.

[Lonna]

I had a poem in one of poetry.com's big hardbound books that they charged about $50 for. It was full of bad poetry. I, too, think it is a scam. I still get emails from them about those poetry readings.

We're better off posting here or having our poems published in a poetry magazine (that we find in the "Writer's Market" or "Poet's Market" books)!

Ireth Telrúnya, I like your parrot avatar! We have a little bossy green Senegal parrot who talks.

[Kelonus]

****... I feel used just for poetry.com to get money. I was going to get the book, now I am not. Know one should be tricked saying your a excellent poet. I think it is a scam too and feel it's surprising. I don't even think my poem was all that to be a semi-finalist. I am sure there were better poems. I feel bad now, because I feel fooled.

[Lonna]

Kelonus,

You should write send them an email or a letter letting them know how you feel!

[Kelonus]

I should, but they probably won't care or even ignore it. I won't bother.

[Khôr’nagan]

I know how you feel, Kelonus. I can't believe that it's a fake, I was so convinced, and I too was going to buy the book, but now will not. But worst of all they got my hopes up for winning $1000 just by submitting a poem... I doubt that anyone really ever wins that, it's probably fixed so that one of the operators submits a poem under a random name and wins, therefore you never have to pay people the money but they buy the book and go to the convention.

And I have decided that I'm going to destroy that web site, even if I have to spend years learning how to be a hacker or whatever. I feel so fooled, and I will not suffer this to be dismissed.

"I will make them pay for what they've done!"
— Captain Picard, First Contact

[Saermegil]

A haiku

The mosquito flies
The ancient mountains stand still
This hot, humid night

[Ireth Telrúnya]

I'm afraid we can't do anything to poetry.com before there are quite many of us...

Saermegil:
I like haikus. Once tried to write some myself...I just don't know where they are now...

[Gandalf The Grey]

Nice haiku, Saermegil! :)

Your first two lines contain wonderfully pithy philosophical depth in the contrast between tiny fleeting life set against a backdrop of famed "everlasting hills." Your last line follows tradition in assigning a (hinted-at) season ... Yet your worthy beginning leaves me feeling as though a stronger ending is called for. Might I suggest a re-write of the last line?

Meanwhile, here's a haiku of my own:

Lothlórien

Trees dance fall's freedom.
Elven leaves weave, somersault,
shimmer mallorn gold.

-- Gandalf the Grey

[Saermegil]

Thank you Gandalf the Grey. I like your poem as well, though I would not go for so abstract (I cant think of any better words to desrcibe them) words.

I will gladly listen to any suggestions you have about that last line, since I had a bit of a problem with it too. Anyway, I think we can use "mosquito" as a kigo to indicate summer.

[Manveru]

Hmm... evaluating...;)

Here's sth from me (if I may--nobody seems to like our Creative Endeavours' Hall:(), but, pls, don't tread me into the dust of these fine halls...
thank you in advance...;)

"Grass on Rochan's Fields"

Green shades fall along,
Everywhere; stretching proudly,
Under light's warm touch.

[Gandalf The Grey]

I would try a more tangible approach containing specific Middle-earth imagery:

Rohan's Banner-Fields

Green banners ripple.
Riders lattice sun-shadowed grass
Under milk-white hooves.

-- Gandalf the Grey

[Manveru]

I would try a more tangible approach containing specific Middle-earth imagery:

Rohan's Banner-Fields

Green banners ripple.
Riders lattice sun-shadowed grass
Under milk-white hooves.

-- Gandalf the Grey
Got a point in here...
Wise...

(always considered myself "lost for words";))

-------
BTW: Yours sounds much better, Gandalf...:)

[syongstar]

I enter the glade of a darkwood,
and stand where my ansestors stood.
I offer myself to the army of trees,
working to make the air fit to breathe,
working to make wood for our homes,
working to make food for us to live on.
And in exchange they ask of thee,
beautiful words and music to caress
their leaves.
love,~~*~~ :)

[numen]

heres a poem of mine, if you like it, theres a post with some more that needs some feedback.

15) Western world
Open to all ideas
Closed to you




Taste of smell

Who says
you can’t smell dreams

They have a cold smell
mist on the windscreen
chocolate covered raisins
And oranges at
christmas.
Grass after a storm.

Maybe yours are different.

Fresh water, but from
a tap.
Ink drying on paper
And cooking in
the afternoon
The smell of
your childhood.

Or the smell
of your future

I dreamt……..
of pink plastic.


Captain

Remember
You child of the eighties
Cockle shell bay?
A Donkey with a hat
Shells in the sand.

They walk the beach
Working the sea
Bodies sinking into
Wet sand
Foreigners in a foreign land

Epitaph in a language you can’t read.


What to grow

TENDER AND HALF HARDY
PERENNIAL SALVIAS
Longing to stretch
Away. From Me.
LIST AMONG THE SHOWIEST
LATE SUMMER STARS
trailing soil down the
Red carpet. From Me.
THE FLOWER COLOUR
COVERING THE WHOLE SPECTRUM
take that, and party
hard all night. From Me.
SALVIA GUARANITILCA STAYS GREEN
ALL WINTER
IF KEPT UNDER COVER
She is lonely. Watching
the colours on the
road. Covered all winter.



Picnic afternoons

Grass. Lie still
As tickling fingers
Surrounds you
Soft breathing inside your ear
of someone who once loved you
Swollen earth rise to meet
the wooden death bed
(picked by yourself)
The birds sing in the sky
As you surrender yourself
to the ground.

Missing

My Manchester
buses going anywhere
Afternoon cinema trips
Market st
Hot days and
hot nights in Piccadilly Gardens.
Xaverian in my dreams
Afflecks and Coliseum
Mondays at the Ritz
Deansgate
Thursdays at Fifth Avenue
Princess st
Fridays at Jillys
kebabs in the
Dark, still, flashing lights of Rusholme
Wednesdays in the village

Has anyone seen it?
Lived it-
like me?

I’d like it back please
But I only have 10p


Hope you enjoyed these!
Numen

[faila]

well i just went on a late night walk last night and when I got back in I still couldnt sleep...so I wrote this:

the depth of the sky
it must go miles high
falling up
dreaming high
its where I fly
I choose to go
to this earth, good bye
but must I die?


This is a new type of poem for me...Ive never written anything like it so thats why its so crappy...anyway ill try some more things like this at another time.

[Lonna]

That's a good poem, faila--I like the short lines, images, and the question at the end.

[Eledhwen]

I am just interrupting this thread to let UK members know about a free to enter poetry contest. The winner receives the National Poetry Champion Trophy and £1000 first prize. 200+ other winners are published in the contest's resulting anthology and receive a free copy of the book.

Closing date 30th June 2004.

United Press Ltd, Admail 3735, London EC1B 1JB www.unitedpress.co.uk

It's certainly worth the price of the stamp.

[morning star]

You are always on my mind,
The memories play and rewind.
I need to hear your voice today,
To let me know everything is okay.
When you speak,
I can hear the truth,
when you touch my hand,
I understand your love for me.
I pray we will always be,
But today,
I need to know that there's nothing wrong.
Yesterday I said words,
That didn't belong,
I asked myself,
"what else could I do wrong?"
I love you more than life itself,
more than fame, power, or wealth.
You plant a gentle kiss on my forehead,
you say "I love you",
And all my feelings of dread disappear.
I wish in this moment you were here.

[Lantarion]

Well I certainly haven't been here for a while..! I've even written new stuff, just haven't posted it. :o
Numen, your poems were really wonderful! Here's my quick take on them:
Taste of Smell
I really love what you've done with your use of words here, there is a seperate word for the way you identify one sense through another, like saying "the smell of your childhood"; I can't remember the term just now though.. But I adore the way you create such poignant and intimate imagery through these simple words; you play upon the affiliations we make with them, and reach the rader on a personal level by reverting to events like Christmas, raisins, time after a storm, childhood.. All things that have occurred to each of us. I especially love the simile, "Ink drying on paper", it has something really mystical but still extremely commonplace about it, just like a lot of life. :)
The ending is very interesting, you again play with the rader's conceptions; we expect to hear something romantic at the words "I dreamt....", but then you take something modern and ordinary and commercial like plastic; but there is still a sort of pop-culture appeal to that phrase ("of pink plastic"), it is alsoa part of our lives. Gorgeous job with this!!!

Captain
Amazing.. Once again you create such wonderful imagery with these normal, quite pop-culture terms and ideas. And it's excellent how you play on meanings again, the word 'captain' reminds us of wartime or even of direct battle; and indeed the first stanza begins with a sort of military reminiscance, "do you remember that battle" etc. But then you change the tone completely, to a time seemingly just before or just after this supposed war. "Foreigners in a foreign land" is an excellent use of repetition, it doesn't seem redundant but very stylish and strong; this line, and "epitaph in a langauge you can't read" bring this idea to mind, that the person this is talking aobut or perhaps the narrator himself is a wounded soldier, still during wartime, who has had to leave the military and now walks along beaches and streets. he seems also to be remembering the events of the war, because "bodie sinking into wet sand" can be seen as a sign of soldiers dying or of people simply resting on the beach. Another exquisite show of imageyr from you.

What to grow
I should really analyse this bitby bit, this obviously has some sort of structural meanings and hidden thoughts..
This one also has amazing imagery, but it has a more chaotic and schizophrenic rhythm, with the capitalized words cutting into the descriptive lower-case ones. It seems to me like this person, apparently female (though I don't know why I think so), does have some mental problems; she is reading from the back of some flower pot, or from some random book; but the lower-case text is her past that she is remembering, words people have spoken to her; except the last line, which is her own sad thought. :(
Really amazing use of vague, chaotic tempo, this one was very sensual and intimate.

Picnic afternoons
This one has a rather clear theme, perhaps unlike the others; death (well, IMO). The title is pop-culture again, referring to a very common practice and a sort of 'personally social' event, excuse the oxymoron. You slowly but surely build up the imagery and thought of death, line by line; and I like how you don't paint a grim or evil picture of death, but one of a sort of 'surrendering' and peaceful ending. Lovely.

Missing
This one also in quite pop-culture (I'm getting sick of that term!! :p), very clearly so, with urban and British social references abounding. These are something like Bertolt Brecht's poems, only more sensual IMO.
This one seems quite clearly to be an allegory of life; you list all these places and events and names and entities, all seemingly full of colour and lights. Then at the end you ask, "Has anybody lived it like me?". There is a sense of pride here, which is overwhelmed by the regret or... something of the last lines: "I want it back, please" refers apaprently to the eprson wanting to re-live their life, perhaps the same way or in a different way. And "But I only have 10p" is like a sort of subtle critique against giving prices and values for memories and lives.
Another powerful piece, very urban and still personal. :)


Sorry they were so brief, I don't really have the energy to go into more depth right now.. :o :)
Here is a poem of mine, that I wrote yesterday in fact.. It is an ode of sorts to nature and to Spring. It is one of my best, I like to think; I hope you like it too. :) PS: It is complete stream of consciousness, which I like to write.

That First of Hallowed Seasons
the window gaped and hid its icy fangs
a sun of warmth and roses brilliant shone
a way was lost and so a new one rose
its thornéd fangs its stalk did proudly grace

the sky was laughing, green and hard today
a grassy edge with meadows built on stones
the leaves of which, like grass, were made of gold
and hue of emerald gleam like metal kites

the white-puffed equine trumpets, filled with sap
rode their snow-white mane across the sky
and every pearly house whose plume was lit
did echo through his hooves a neighing joy

thus did the earth its brown graves spring to life
his roots are deep and long and eager still
the deep-hid fingers mobile made were yet
and autum's whisper held no brown-struck grudge

and thus a wing with partners flecked the whiffs
and singing, thrust its beak through bouts of speed
a tale, recited quick and sung to rhythms
made to fly was rendered, wing and tassel

every flitting insect, sleep-awakened
whirring like the world around their tensions
grew and grew until the thrum was checked
a summit, green and pale and full of wonder

[link] (http://www.deviantart.com/view/6939062/)

[Ireth Telrúnya]

Beautiful, Morning Star and Lantarion!

Sorry, but I feel like writing too. Let's see it I get anywhere at all...


Far horizons fill my head,
I want to fly instead,
of having to walk on this earth,
I want to fill my cup, I have this dearth,
I long to see the blue open sky,
having seen such freedom I could die,
like they say about a city here,
that whole idea to me is very dear,
freedom of thought, and right to choose,
freedom of fight, and freedom to lose.

What a wonderful place this world could be,
If all these things you could also see,
I'm bursting with joy on such a Spring day,
I'm listening to the trees, what they say,
and they said it was time to grow,
they said it was time for me to go,
live, laugh, see, run, sail and even fly
no more worry, no reason at all to cry.

And desert, if filled me with open spaces,
there I saw sand in the wind and all the faces,
all the hidden treasures, cities in the sand,
ancient forgotten places, this old land,
and I knew I was just a tiny thread,
in the grand current of time, soon dead,
but it filled me with such an awe,
and I was overcome by a great wave,
I felt so safe in this giant cycle of life,
a tiny grain of sand, on the edge of a knife.

I was free in the wind as it flew over the dunes...

[faila]

my mind grows small,
creativity fades,
as my body grows tall
my mind begins to die
with all the oppression
of the world, its no
wonder their is regression
something so beautiful
something so right
something so magnificent
who knows my plight



It doesnt have a name....its just about how i feel that im losing my creativity, like its leaving my body. I no longer can carry the thoughts it seems I can no longer think in the manner i once did.

[numen]

hello!
this is my new poem..

They died for beauty

Go on
make yourself gorgeous
Train yourself well
until the girls cry
“oh that pipe is
so fashionable”

Because, how can there
be more for you?
here. Where the light
fades in my eyes.

And fairies gather
dust.
In my hair.


I hope you like it. Thanks for your comments Lantarion, I wish I could write like you! lol. I really liked your poem.

[Eledhwen]

It doesnt have a name....its just about how i feel that im losing my creativity, like its leaving my body. I no longer can carry the thoughts it seems I can no longer think in the manner i once did.Changes in my body
Changes in my mind
The person I was yesterday
Impossible to find
Embracing new beginnings
And searching for the way
My aching heart can tell the world
The way I feel today

The poem you wrote, faila, shows that your creativity still lives. I suspect you have more cares now, and maybe you are trying to write what was in your heart when life was more carefree. Search deeper, and you will find the deeper creative beauty.

I like numen's style - it paints pictures. Great stuff.

[Cerridwen]

Feedback would be nice :)

Help Me

cut
drip
bleed
splatter
deep
deep
deep
deeper
hard
hard
hard
harder
long
long
long
longer
can't stop
can't think
can't feel
can't act
can't run
can't run
only thing
is to escape
follows me
stalks me
haunts me
sticks me
pricks me
cuts me
bleeds me
leaves me
can't stop
can't begin
can't run
it starts again
can't stop don't know why
cut me more
the time goes by
hurt again
the scars grow worse
never knowing
the pain's source
can't decide
no decision
long ingrained
cut with precision
want to stop
don't know how
needing help
nothing felt
feeling desperate
need you now
come to me
before i fall
before i go
before i run
disappear
i'm fading now
help me

[Eledhwen]

To me, this poem reads like the cry for help from a self-mutilator. I'm impressed by the style and layout, which increases the sense of a downhill hellish journey.

[Cerridwen]

Thanks for the comments. I wrote it for my friend.

[Eledhwen]

Thanks for the comments. I wrote it for my friend.Your friend is blessed to have someone who understands.

[Cerridwen]

...I understand more than she knows. I am recovering from it myself.

darn it...I was planning on posting another poem, but I don't know where I put it. Give me a day; I'll post it tomorrow :)

[Cerridwen]

Aha! here's that poem I was talking about. Once again, comments are welcome!

Gotta cut
Going deep
Harder now
Blood seeps
Never know
If it can be fixed
Blood drips
Time ticks
Cycle of pain
Begins anew
I don't know
What I should do
Stabbing here
Pricking there
The pain's too much
For me to bear
Don't want to do it
Choice isn't mine
To heal my wounds
I need some time
Don't want to do it
I know it's bad
But I'm addicted to it
It's driving me mad
I'm starting to fade
I'm going to disappear
All that fills me now
Is nothing but fear
Please come to my rescue
Please come to my aid
Just hold me tightly
And I won't be afraid
I know that you're angry
I know that you're mad
That you're disappointed
What I did makes you sad
Understand it's not me
Something's wrong in my head
I don't wish I could die
I'm glad I'm not dead
I'm done with the crying
Time to wipe away my tears
Erase all the pain
And banish my fears
I'm going to get help
I'm not gonna cry
I'm gonna get better
And I'm gonna be alive

[faila]

I say hello,
goodbye I hear,
down my cheek a tear.
the pain of thought,
robbed away
lest I say
something with wich
They dont agree
why dont the leave me be.
I know the truth
My thoughts go fast
further and way past
what they think possible.

[numen]

hiya guys
here another poem- please can you give me some feedback coz I am not sure If I want to change it or not. I def think I am gonna change the title.

Nightmare.


Once Upon A Time

Dubs the boy in your ear
In a faraway

Swallow the dust the bull kicks up
There was a Princess

cover your skin in trident stars
and her name was

become who you want outside
She lived inside a

Turn aside here, Said I
massive castle filled

we cross not into there
with Virgin flowers

hand inside mine, turn aside
Fate destined her

And Live.
to death

happily ever after.





Thanks! Faila, I really like your poem, and it kinda made me think about the way peoples belief affect them in life. I thought it was very good.

Ok the poem is meant to be arranged in a certain way, but it won't let me do it! grrrrr so I won't have the same affect, but the bits on bold are meant to be on the right side of the screen and the normal on the left so that they look like two opposing isdes, or two stories if you will.
Thanks

[faila]

Thanks! Faila, I really like your poem, and it kinda made me think about the way peoples belief affect them in life. I thought it was very good.
My poem was more referring to my being an outcast because of my inteligence until I learned to hide my inteligence and play dumb.
But once written anything can be applicable to anything, so im glad you found some way of applying it.

[faila]

I love the way you laugh
I love the way you cry
I love the way you laugh
I never want to say goodbye
as long as i never do
theirs the chance to see.
what we can be.


Theirs the chance to see your face
the chance to know your mind
the chance to become one, to bind
the chance of life
the chance to become man and wife

I love you
I love you

[faila]

without you I die
for you I would lie
to you never

I wait for you to come around
I wait to hear that one sound
"I love you"

You say it will pass
I know it will last
I wait for you

Forever I wait
for maybe just one date
forever

To see you is enough
but it is still tuff
to not want to be with you

(if your wondering why the these two poems, its jsut because isaw the girl who i love, which i dont see very often....she obviously doesnt return my feelings...)

[Cerridwen]

Wonderful poems; I especially liked the last one.

I know exactly how you feel, too, since I work with the guy...:( It really captures everything I feel. great job!

[faila]

The hours stretch
on and on
The hours stretch
Till you want to die
with open eyes you lie

It never comes
as long as you try
it never comes
nothing stays in your head
until you wish to be dead

Finally it ends
and you fade
finally it ends
asleep you fall
until in minutes your name is called

(insomnia stinks)

[Cerridwen]

Wonderful poem faila!

Here's mine...(kinda like numen's with the whole two-sided thingy)

Not a care in the world
THE PAIN DRAGS HER DOWN

Her heart's greatest desire
SORROW SPLITS HER SOUL

The man that she loves
THE MAN THAT SHE HATES

Enraptures her heart
DISGUSTS HER MIND

Brings her true happiness
IS IT ALL A MASK?

The luckiest girl in the world
SEEKING TRUTH AND HAPPINESS

Is it all real?
THIS IS LIFE

[faila]

Cerridwen are you published? Your poetry is really good.

[Cerridwen]

No faila, I'm not published. I don't know who would want to publish me anyway; I'm only 17 ;) Besides, all my teachers absolutely HATE all my poetry. Blah...

Anyway, here's some more!

~Heartache~

I see you standing in a room of clouds
Standing apart, you look at me
A sad smile on your face, tears dripping down your cheeks
You stand and hold my heart in your hands
You whisper, "I love you" into the air
But to no one, the words disappear
With one final tear that falls to your feet
You take hold of my heart and
Break it in front of my eyes
"Why, my love?" I ask, my world closing in on me
"Because I love you" he whispers, and then the clouds devour him
And he's gone
And I'm gone
Lost in a room of clouds


~Broken Heart~

I open my eyes and see my beating heart
Enshrouded in red mist, like blood
As I approach I see upon my precious heart
A delicate crack, I reach out to touch it
And I see that the crack spells my true love's name
I touch his name with my finger
With gentleness, and infinite tenderness
But when I show him ultimate compassion
The crack deepens, til my heart splits in two
I am blinded by red mist, like blood
My heart split by my love, be true

[faila]

No faila, I'm not published. I don't know who would want to publish me anyway; I'm only 17 ;) Besides, all my teachers absolutely HATE all my poetry. Blah...

Teachers hate your poetry because its better than anything they could write and their jealous, your much better than I am....My skills are small and little compared to yours.

Power at your fingers,
Power to mold,
Power to shape,
Power to never grow old.
The way one writes,
Can change lives
Can others way light.
Effects can be great,
or oh so small,
changes made,
makes a difference after all.

Thats the power true writers like yourself have...to change and effect peoples lives, use it.

[Saermegil]

A Haiku

The spider is still
Frost gathering on it's web
A fly is coming

[Cerridwen]

Teachers hate your poetry because its better than anything they could write and their jealous, your much better than I am....My skills are small and little compared to yours.

Power at your fingers,
Power to mold,
Power to shape,
Power to never grow old.
The way one writes,
Can change lives
Can others way light.
Effects can be great,
or oh so small,
changes made,
makes a difference after all.

Thats the power true writers like yourself have...to change and effect peoples lives, use it.

Wow, that really meant a lot to me, faila. I really appreciated that. Thank you.

[Cerridwen]

Here's another! (pssst faila this isnt the one I was telling you about in my pm)

I love you dear
WHO AM I FOOLING?

Together forever
CURSED FOR ALL ETERNITY

Nothing will seperate us
WE WERE DOOMED FROM THE START

I want to spend forever with you
THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK

Are you sure this is how it has to be?
THIS IS HOW IT IS

I'm sorry this didn't work
I HAVE TO MOVE ON

Please don't say you hate me
DESPITE THIS ALL I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER

Goodbye my love
FOREVER IN MY DREAMS

Goodbye...

[morning star]

This Sorted Life 6-6-04

You formed me from the clay,
And turned my night to day.
Your eyes are like the most glorious stars,
You can change the course history with just one word.
You hide me under your wings,
From the pain that is inflicted.

CH:We are a wicked race,
We'd prefer to chase, anyone but you.
You show your holiness,
In all that you do,
And I know what you say is true.

You shine like a star in the morning,
And when there is danger,
You call out to us in warning.
We wonder when You will return,
For now in our hearts,
A flame continually burns.

Ch

We surrender ourselves to you,
We lay down our pride,
And walk by your side.
We will fight the good fight,
For all that is right,
In this sorted life.


I'm into song writing...so i put it into song-form.

[faila]

No named
let me see your face
show me your love
I want to see you
why cant you come from above
but then i hear your voice
comforting and kind
I already have you say
as you release my binds

No named 2
My thoughts go through my head
remembering the lies i've said.
I know its wrong.
I know what i need to do.
I get down on my knee
I beg that you forgive me.
All the things ive done
and those I will do.
I stand and rise
forgiven of those lies
to serve you in this life
to worship in the one after.

[morning star]

Shell 5-30-04

I hate myself for what i've done,
I hate myself for who i've become.
I hate myself because my actions remind me of you,
And what you always do.
I'm tangled in a web of bitterness,
That you've spun around me.

Ch: Can I escape this place,
Or the feel of your tortured embrace?
I'm just a shell of what I used to be,
And all I feel is the pain that you've instilled in me.

I've fallen and I can't get up to run anymore,
See, I've never had to struggle like this before..
I'm at your unlikely mercy,
I'm you at your worst,
For an unconditional love I thirst.
To look into a soul,
and know that they won't ever let go.

CH

And there's a zombie walking around with my face,
it even has my name.
....It's me trying to cover hidden pain even more,
'cause I have nothing left to gain.

[e.Blackstar]

hey this is some of my depressing poetry (its not about me, I promise lol)
This is a conversation between three people. two at the beginning, then one of the same and a different one after the asterik. (In the original version some lines were bolded or italicized, but now, just say that each line is a different person)

Do I know you?
Not now, Not ever.
Can you see me?
Always, Never.
Do you know?
Know what?
I didn't think so.
************
Did you know her?
She was always there, Never spoke.
Did you?
What?
Did you speak?
To her?
Never.
Why?
Why would I?
She needed you.
Me?
Someone. You, anyone.
She did?
Why?
No one knew.
Knew what?
Anything.
Everything.
What?
No one knew her. No one knew it.
Knew what?
It doesn't matter.
Why not?
Its too late.
For what?
To know her.


This one was about my friend whose life was being made miserable by a kid at school. I wrote it as if to him.

When she dies.
You'll be sorry.
You'll wish.
Wish that you could.
Could unsay,
Could undo,
Could take the knives back.
Could help,
Could hold,
Could carry the burden.
I tried.
I tried to tell you,
To warn,
To give her life.
The knives pierced,
Everytime.
By the time you saw,
You'd killed her.

This one I wrote in math class after I almost fell asleep and I was sooooo bored.

Eyes glaze,
And I sleep.
Voices echo
Lost in space.
Equations,
Invasions,
Knowledge.
"A head like a sieve."
I wake
To a bell,
And hope.
"Did I miss much?"


These are some dumb ones that I did while being carefully watched by my friend on the computer in Science.

About Cows
Moo.

About Bunnies
Munch.
Boing.
Munch,
Munch.
Boing
Boing
Boing.

About Sweatshirts
No
Cold Pricklies.
Only
Warm Fuzzies.

About Einstein
Well
If he was
So smart,
Why didn't
He live
Forever?
He could have
Cryogenically
Frozen himself.
I could have
Told him so.

About Death
Well.
This is
Certainly
Interesting.
Hmmm.
What's next?
Oh.

Yum. These worms
Taste
Good after all
These years.

About Penguins
Flap.
Flap.
Crash.

About Chicken
Yum.


This one is another depressing one. It is another conversation.

Loaded Words

Hey.
Hey.
'Sup?
Nothing.
Oh, no,
Nothing at all.
Never mind the drugs and
The lies and the sadness.
Never mind the knives and the pain
And the way that they
Look at me.
Never mind that
I want to die.
You?
Not much.

[greypilgrim]

This one is about my brain-dead job. :o
----------------------------------------------------
"There's a corpse in my head,
he's walking around in circles.
Trying to make me dizzy.

I'm carrying a paintbrush,
and he's got bugs all over him.
They crawl down my spine.

I wish the corpse could paint,
while I just walk around in circles.
Bugs don't bother me at all.

My zombie is my best friend,
he keeps me happy up on the roof.
And tells me jokes and stuff.

There's a corpse in my head,
he walks circles around the house.
Carrying a paintbrush.

I've got too many bugs on me,
my spine is tingling.
I wish I wasn't so dizzy.

I tell the zombie jokes but
he's too busy painting to laugh.
So I'm talking to myself.

Now I'm walking around in circles,
and the corpse is crawling on the roof.
It's fun to rack your brain at work."
----------------------------------------------------------

[ely]

OK, I hope nobody minds me posting this here. :)

This is a poem we started at "The Green Dragon" in "a really big inn in a really big cave (I'm a dragon, ok?)for anyone and everyone!!!".

But now we thought that maybe it would be better to have a separate thread for the poem ONLY. So this is the thread. Anyone can join us to continue this poem. But I'd like to keep this thread only for the poem, as I said before. If you want to discuss it, please do it here (http://www.thetolkienforum.com/showthread.php?p=423209#post423209).

I hope everyone is OK with this and you're all welcomed to continue the poem. :)

[ely]

A Poem About A Bar In A Cave
until someone suggests a better title

Once upon a time
In a land afar
There was a cavern wide
And in that cave a bar

Many flocked to drink
And laugh and socialize
But none would ever think
That in that bar there lies

a dragon that was so kind and fun
and a group to match her wit.
there was fun always, rain or sun
and all were glad the dragon fit.

Long they talked and laughed
and had a merry time
but soon the day had passed
when suddenly great slime

it came through the door, and over rocks,
it said hello and began to dance
it said i am oliver, yes i am, and i want to box,
so come on down if anyone thinks they have a chance!

People screamed and ran
but One boasted great pride
"Beat it, scum! and scram!
I will not run to hide!"

so up the dragon stood
uncurling all her length
because none other would
she unleashed her mighty strength

"Aha!" the slime yelled out
"You will not beat me yet!
For I will win this bout
And make you then my pet!"

out she let a spout of flame
it sizzled olivers' eyebrows
"never this dragon will you tame!"
and they began to....roughhouse

long they fought and battled
and as the moon did rise
oliver cried " lets stop this fiddle faddle"
i am burn and congealed! and he began to cry.

"So you admit defeat?
you foul and evil slime!"
oliver had been beat
so he slinked out of this rhyme

People peeped and peared
Then they drew on nigh
All came back and cheered
And the Dragon lifted high

Dragon very happy was too
and gave them all a free drink
that was so sweet and cool
and made their cheeks turn pink.

Dawn appeared at last
And all slunked back to bed
With weariness by cast
D laid down her head

But she couldn't sleep for long
Cause a maiden opened the door
She looked as she came from an ancient song
And long dark robes she wore.

"Gentle beast ye are,
Yet strong and mighty be,
I've travelled from afar,
To have a word with thee"

"A word? alas,
but I've fought a battle yet!"
but she sighed and took out a glass
she decided not to fret

"Come ye must with me,
I have for ye a task,
It is not quite easy
In danger it doth bask"

"I'd still like to rest
but with you will come I
for I wish you all the best.
I guess to leave it is time."

The maiden turned away
And left the stone cavern.
The dawn of a newborn day
Lit up the nearby fern.

They travelled months and weeks and days
Dragon flying high, maiden riding beneath her
Many times danger and worry came their way
And finally they could not go any further.

They took shelter in a forest
But they did not know
That there would be no time to rest
That they should up and go!

Deep in the forest, where nobody goes
There has been something hidden for long
What is it exactly, no one that knows
It isn't mentioned in any story or song.

It it was beastly, it was foul,
None who saw it lived.
With a horrid, chilling howl
Through the trees came swift

it ran on two legs,
haunched in the back
and covered in fur,
searching for a snack

as it approached with horns stout
it's fangs shining fierce
they looked for a way out
for those fangs were ready to pierce

It's eyes glowing red,
claws raking the ground,
the beast raised it's head,
and made a terrible sound.

For miles it spread fear,
echoing through the trees,
and all those who could hear,
swiftly turned to flee.

It lunged towards the twain,
but they were too quick,
for the monster in pain,
on a pebble did slip.

The poor beast was daft,
and in a prickle-bush did fall,
then the Dragon with a laugh,
roasted beast, bush and all.

"The job's far from done,"
The maiden did warn
"There will be more where that one came from."

Just as she had spoke
There was a deafening cry
From the trees there broke
The mother of the babe D fried

Fearsome, huge and vile
She sniffed at the carcass fried
Then glared at the two a while
As they ran to hide

They could ran but couldn't hide
And that they knew quite well
Soon she did them find
In her eyes burning flames from hell

"Quickly!" Yelled the maiden fare,
And ducked beneath a rock.
"We must destroy this creatures' hair
And send it into shock!

"For only thus could it be brought
Under our submission,
Then our road will be less frought
With dangers for this mission!"

They knew what had to be done
But it wasn't easy at all
The beast was sure it had won
And it seemed so strong and tall

But the maiden was brave
Dragon courageous
Their skills did them save
And helped them beat the dangers

In a blazing fury
D drew up and flew
Soon the beast was sorry
For it had turned to stew

"Hurah!" the maiden cried
"You did it! Now we're free!
I knew he hadn't lied,
When he said to count on thee!"

Dragon stood confused
Who was this of she spoke?
Then D felt sorely used
And leaned against an oak.

"Of whom does she speak?" Dragon thought
"And where does she wants me to send?
If our road with so many dangers is fraught
What is waiting for me in its end?"

"Do not look so down cast,
My fare and noble friend,
For it was told long past
That you would comprehend

"The fate that you awaits.
It cannot be shrugged off.
So come let's make good haste,
The road and long and rough!"

Dragon tried worried to be not
As they continued their road
Neither of them spoke a lot
But both thought of their home

Then finally, one morning bright
They came upon their goal;
A castle great, of dazzling hight,
White flag upon a pole.

The castle made of stone so white
One tower reaching heaven
Its windows shining in sunlight
And doors were open seven

Its towers gleaming silver
Its stairs were made of gold
The spears with sparkling jewels
The royal guards did hold

glorious and magnificent
this castle did appear
but an evil potent
lurked about the rear...
...of the castle...

"Therein lies our master
Who sent me long ago,
Because I was much faster
Than his evil foe

Who wished to indeed slay you
So you counldn't do this task.
Since Master did then save you
Do as he may ask."

Dragon nodded and entered
The castle so beautiful and fair
Inside she heard a voice gentle
That was talking to her

She turned her head to look
And saw a figure that stood
Holding a dusty old book
Face covered with dark hood

"Ah!" The figure said,
"Good, you're finally here."
Then he bobbed his head
With almost a menacing leer.

For a brief moment D felt,
a nameless feeling within her heart.
Like a memory, a shadow of excruciating pain,
that as sudden as it had come, disappeared again.

But she had no time to wonder,
for the maiden 'fore her stood,
and spoke "I have returned, by thunder.
You thought I never would!"

"And see, my Lord whom I have brought:
the mighty Dragon, beside whom I've fought...
"Yes, yes." the cloaked Lord broke in.
"Let us tarry no longer, we must soon begin!"

Surprised by his rudeness, the two at him glared.
As the figure made his way up the grand stairs.
Without a word, they slowly did follow.
But they felt deep inside, a fear cold and hollow.

Up the stairs they went, into a dark room
And behind them the door itself closed
Dragon felt that near was somebody's doom
As she saw another figure rose.

Another voice spoke - it was cold but calm
It said: "You are late but now we begin."
Dragon had a strong feeling of alarm
She tried to see more but the place was dim.

Voice said: "There is an evil around us
It embraces this castle and tower
You this evil force destroy must
For even I can't withstand its power."

The cold voice was coming from a candle so small,
it's faint light glowing in the dark gloomy hall.
Amazed, the moved closer, it seemed like a joke.
But sure enough they dicovered, 'twas the candle that spoke.

"Greetings, dear dragon." it flickered and veered.
"You came not too late, as I had feared.
There's no time to explain, I ask for your trust!
Go with the fire. Follow it, you must."

Just then the candle-light shrunk and quenched.
And suddenly the floor gave a horrible wrench.
The wall around them trembled, the whole castle shook.
They fell into darkness, which the silence then took.

Piercing was the darkness
That seemed to consume all.
Shattering was the silence
That made their own skin crawl.

“Dragon?” came the whimper,
Shaky with appeal.
“Yes?” came back the whisper,
That all could clearly hear.

“What has just befallen
Our fair and noble land?
Is this is end that’s spoken
Of by him who’s in command?”

"This is not the end
But the end is near,"
Said darkness around them
Then no more did they hear.

"Follow the fire," the candle had said
But there was no fire, all was black
Suddenly Dragon lifted her head
And forward stretched her neck.

"I see a light, it's weak but it's there,"
Said dragon and started to walk
"It could be dangerous, so be aware!"
She heard the maiden behind her talk.

As Dragon went on, the light seemed to move
It was always ahead but out of their reach
The maiden understood its essence quite soon
And to Dragon she gave this speech:

"I think this is the light we must follow
That will guide us to the right place
This darkness is not at all so hollow
And many dangers again we may face."

Dragon nodded and on they went
After walking hours three or four
She looked beside her in amazement
The maiden was there no more.

[ely]

"Where are you?" Dragon cried
Her voice was eaten by darkness
The flames ahead had not died
But they lighted the place less and less.

Just as she thought her strength was drained,
the darkness around her waned,
revealing a hall that had no ceiling,
the loftiness gave her a sinking feeling.

Beneath her talons was ancient stone,
laid there by a people long gone,
Forming a ring, ten dragonwings wide,
the round walls smooth, rising high on all sides.

From above came soft sunlight,
so gazing upwards, she prepared for flight,
spread her wings, leapt off the ground,
climbed through the cold air of the shaft round.

Heartbeat, wingbeat,
memories of dreams.
Sudden heat, cold creeping
into soul screaming.

Through darkness race,
quicken pace,
flee from the hungry eyes.
Free! flying high in open sky.
All fear breathed out in sigh.

"You passed the test" a voice whispered,
carried on the wind.
"your soul we pierced, your heart we heard,
the dark you braved and won."

The maiden was there, a smile on her face
Softly landed Dragon on green grass beside her
Warm sunshine from clear sky them did embrace
And for a moment they both enthralled were.

Then maiden sadly lowered her head
"This was only a test that you passed
The hardest part of our mission is still ahead
Our mission, it could be the last."

"Alone in the darkness I was
Not a soul around me to hear
All the terrors of worlds I flew past
And now our mission I don't fear."

[Ithilin]

"Through those woods we must go,"
she gestured towards the trees.
"For within that ancient forest,
is the Pool Of Many Seas.

It is an entrance to a place,
called the Land Below.
Strange it is, but we've naught to fear
as you so bravely showed."

As the two crossed the field,
the maiden continued to speak.
"Still we must be cautious,
in that region of the deep."

"It sounds like an odd place."
Dragon wondered aloud.
"Indeed, once we've fallen through,
our thoughts can be heard by all!"

"So watch what you think,
if we meet any people...
For they hate those who sink
into their land so evil."

[ely]

They plunged into wood
Under the trees it was dark
Some marks of no good
Were carved into bark

They all said “Go back!”
Dragon clearly did see
Following the track
Past the scary trees

And then the pool was there
So strange and so blue
So cold and so clear
But they couldn’t see through

“Jump,” said the girl
And Dragon obeyed
She leaped into the swirl
And so did the maid

[Ithilin]

The water engulfed them
and for a moment of shock,
they felt that beneath it,
was air - not wet loch.

Although they quickly gasped
they soon found out
after their faces were splashed,
there was air all about
( - which made them feel quite abashed.)

For a while they drifted
downwards in silence,
their surroundings they sifted
through a blurry ambiance.

[ely]

They could see something past them fly
Dreams, thoughts, ideas and deeds
Emotions and feelings were swimming by
Love and hatred, kindness and greed

The way into another world can't be too easy
There is much you leave and some you take
All before you eyes goes blurry
And much may happen before you wake

They were falling and falling and falling
Their minds emptied and hearts looked into
Strange things their thoughts were stirring
And nothing they about that could do

But suddenly their endless fall was over
Their senses brightened, again they could see
The doorway above them glinted as mirror
And then there was just air gloomy.

[Burb]

The Great Hunter (Orion)

The killer awakened, mighty roar, the lion
He who walks the sea and kills the beast, Orion
You who loves this great man, why must you destroy him?
It’s not your fault,
It’s your brother, your skin, yourblood, your kin.

You must raise his soul into the sky
for all the world to see.
You must forget the pain and remember love
for your man to rest in peace.

[greypilgrim]

:cool: I like that one...was "the sea" referring to the universe/space?

[greypilgrim]

Anyways, here's a song of aliens, real bad ones...

with just a touch of my burning hand
i send my astro zombies to rape the land
prime directive, exterminate the whole human race
and your face drops in a pile of flesh
and then your heart pounds till it pumps in death
prime directive, exterminate whatever stands left

[HungLoongHsk]

here i go for the very first time,
never been on this forum before,
but today i flow a rhyme.

From the deepest depths
i take my last breath
i know death is coming
so there's no need to hurry,
my last moment draws near
my visions gettin' blurry.

I am a Gung Fu man,
Choy Lee Fut fighters are not afraid.
I will live on forever
as long as my memory gets played-
over and over in the minds of others,
one day we will meet and once again call ourselves.......
Choy Lee Fut Brothers.


sifu frank mccarthy

[greypilgrim]

Live by honor
Kill by stealth

Yo, I'm a straight up ninja
So get to stepping,
Or else lose your head
Ninjas Kill...

I fly high in the air
with the wings of a hawk
born upon a death wind
Ninjas Kill...

Shadow warrior striking
From invisible places
With the heart of a dragon
Ninjas Kill...

I flip out and cut off heads
I jump over trees and
climb up buildings
Ninjas Kill...

[Eledhwen]

with just a touch of my burning hand
..... your face drops in a pile of flesh
Have you been watching 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone?'

I can't claim to enjoy these anihilation poems, but I can see and appreciate the poetry in them, if you get my drift.

Here's one with fewer dismembered body parts...

This cannot be my lot,
A world of pain and strife;
The drones and clones I see around
As wheels turn and hammers pound
Until they put me in the ground
A spent, forgotten life.

No, there is somewhere else
Just barely out of sight
Where living green is all around
And nature's chorus is the sound
That fills the water, sky and ground
A world where all is right.

I wish with all my heart
That I could just break free.
A voice within says "Just let go!
Dive in! Don't just immerse a toe."
But fearful, my reply is "No!
It isn't meant to be."

[greypilgrim]

No Harry Potter... and your poem, I like it :)

this one is for a forum member, I won't say their name:

...it's a song http://www.thetolkienforum.com/showpost.php?p=426215&postcount=370

about people rubbing your face in your mistakes every chance they get, and about being a better man

[morning star]

hmm....It seems anymore I just write songs.....here are a few:

In Your Caring Arms
8-12-04

You pour soul out telling her how you really feel,
And all she does is look past you to him.
She says she cares about you too,
But she’s stuck living in the past.
She keeps on talking as she stares his way,
You knowingly cringe wishing she would realize the truth.

CH: She needs to wake from her dreams,
She needs to analyze his schemes and see,
That he doesn’t really care about her.
Someday he’ll realize he let the best get away,
Someday she’ll already be happily taken by the one who cares about her.

You see her stick by his side,
Even as he picks a new ‘firefly’.
You see her heart breaking,
But all you can do is be there,
And hope she sees how much you truly care.
Her eyes are opening to the proof,
And now she can see the truth.

CH

She came to the realization awhile back,
She now discerns who speaks the truth,
And she knows that it‘s you.
She finally takes her rightful place,
In your caring arms.


A Million Shards
(Josh’s Song)
8-9-04

Are you happy now?
You told me you cared,
But now you are meeting her stare,
And I’m sitting watching the two of you dance over there,
Like we used to.
You held my hand,
But I guess that was just a faze....just a craze.

Ch: I’m left here falling down,
I’m left here with my head in my hands,
And My heart shattered on the ground.
I’m left here bound by you,
But I am breaking loose.

You’ve never been there to catch my tears as they fall,
You just leave me all alone standing,
Left to pick up the pieces of me that you’ve shattered into a million shards.
Don’t ever touch me again,
Don’t ever think you have that right.
Don’t you think that you’ve hurt me enough as it is?
‘Cause you have.

CH

You lied even as your eyes met mine,
If you truly did love me,
It’s too late now for just a simple “I‘m sorry“,
You’ve hurt me far too many times.
I have finally broken loose from you.

Anthem Of Freedom
08-06-04

I render this a worthy cause,
Sure I may have my flaws,
But if you’re so perfect,
Why not cast the first stone?
I’m tired of these reasons,
That’s right I won’t compromise the way I think.

CH: I can’t wait ‘til the day,
I can taste the freedom already,
I can hear it ringing in my ears.
I’ve shed many tears because of you,
But soon this cycle of destruction will be put to an end.

I’m just a dream chaser,
On that independence day I will scream out my lungs for freedom.
You say you can’t stand to see me with a broken heart,
But don’t you think I feel worse watching you two argue,
And everything I’ve ever know, continue falling apart?

CH

All my dreams thus far have been disbanded and broken,
And the ones that haven’t,
You’ve choked out of me in disgust,
Or they’ve been driven out of me with anger and distrust.
I won’t surrender to you ever,
This is my anthem of freedom.


Something Worth Dying For
8-13-04

I’m living in the shadows,
My heart is as cold as ice,
Wish I could make my way to the forgotten paradise.
A place written about in lost annals of time,
Of my childhood,
When I was care-free and everything was alright.
But only pain consumes me,
And you’re the only one who can see right through me.

CH: You wrap me in your wings,
And bring me back into your arms.
I thank you for saving me then and now,
I pray this will work out somehow,
That I can just make it through tonight.

I’ve never seen so much pain and destruction as that two year span,
But I know that for some reason it was in your plan.
Now I’m out of the shadows,
Now I am truly living....for something worth dying for.
I searched for so long,
But now I know we were meant to live for so much more.

CH

I’ve seen others compromise,
But I won’t back away from what’s right,
I’m prepared to put up a fight for the truth,
Even if it costs me my life.



Somebody’s Little Girl
(a song about abuse)
8-13-04

A photograph of her tear-stained face is burned into my mind,
What will it take to change her life?
She wishes she could change this situation,
She wishes she could actually make a difference in the world.
Can’t you have mercy in knowing that she somebody’s little girl?

CH: Her fragile hand pushes him away,
But he won’t let her say no.
You think in this day and age that some things would change,
But he won’t let her go.

She’s left lying in shame on the floor,
Wishing she could go back and rewrite this ending.
She doesn’t realize that this could be the beginning of something great,
If she would only rise up and me her fate,
If she would only rise up and stand against him.

CH

You see her a decade later,
And look into her eyes,
But all you see is pain and demise,
From all the lies that she’s been told throughout her life,
And all you can say is ‘why?’



Every Minute of Every Day
8-13-04

Silence resounds in my ears,
As I sit here waiting away the time.
My heart is yours,
Please don’t break it...please don’t take it lightly.
I know you won’t but I thought I’d just state the obvious,
Since this day is passing so slowly away.

CH: I wish I could talk to you every minute of everyday,
To hear your voice of comfort.
I wish I could spend forever in your arms,
Gazing up at the stars.

Tomorrow I’ll see you again for the first time in weeks,
And I’m anxious for our reunion.
I want to see your face,
I want to look into your eyes,
And understand your dreams.

CH

I’m certain this will last,
Looking back into the past,
Through all the times our care for each other has stayed constant.
I’m ready for tomorrow,
For our reunion.


Catch Me When I Fall 7-23-04
It was so good to see you tonight,
Under that starlit sky.
I ran into your arms,
I fell into your embrace.
It feels I've known you for a lifetime,
It feels I care about you so much,
All I long for is another touch from you.

CH:You speak and I forget my pain,
I tried in vain,
For so long to sweep this under the rug,
But how much I care I can't deny.

My stomache rolls as I wait for you,
And I wonder are you anxious too?
Next week I know I'll miss you so much more,
It feels like I already have one foot out the door.
I don't care what anyone thinks,
They aren't going to sink this.

CH

You comfort me with your words as i'm about to cry,
I know that you'll always be there.
I know you'll catch me when I fall,
I know you'll always be on call,
I know, you care.



Will These Destructive Cycles Ever End 9-19-04

Someday i'll escape from this hurt,
Someday i'll walk out and never look back.
These words of your angry thoughts,
Just keep flying through my mind.
Words can't describe how I feel,
I hang my head in shame,
Because I know i'll never do.

CH: I stand in silence as you tear me down,
Not raising anything to your attention.
I'm bleeding from the inside out,
As you fill me with doubt of all that I know.

What could so profound to let me hear you say those words again?
I can't believe you've actually been there for me,
I guess it disproves my theory.
Only this time it wasn't you who broke me into a million shards.
Will things ever be made right in this life?
Will these destructive cycles ever end?

CH

I hate you,
But I love you all the same.
I can't help but wonder at the fact,
That you actually bandaged my wounds for once.
Will these destructive cycles ever end?



These Tragic Choices 9-20-04

I can't believe what I'm hearing,
But then again I don't know if I want to.
Your words have broken me many times before,
But the vivid images flowing through my mind hurt so much more.
I wish I could go back to those nights,
And find the pieces of me I lost.

Ch:I walked away from this with expressionless emotion on my face,
I can still taste those moments.
Moments I wish I could forget,
I wish I could forget to regret.

I can't see what's black or white anymore,
These tragic choices I've made.
Rhythm flows from these lips mindlessly,
This song of shame flowing freely.
There are chips in this vase that was once so pure,
Once so beautiful.

CH

There's nothing left to prove,
There's nothing left to give,
I wish I could go back and change these tragic choices.


Untitled 9-22-04

You can't make up for your actions,
With just a few simple words.
Love is more than just a feeling,
It's a verb....always in action.
I've let you play with every inch of my heart time and time again,
Is there any way to actually win at this?

CH: Pictures you've painted full of contradiction.
Songs chocked full of sweet bitterness.
I don't want this and I can't take this anymore.

I refuse to do the things i've done before,
I couldn't stand to see the reflection staring back at me in the mirror.
I don't wish you were here right now,
And I don't miss that smile of treachery.
As I stare into this candle's flame,
I wonder who or what it to blame for this ending.

CH

This pain runs through my body once again,
These thoughts of everything that once was.
This is over....this is finished....at least for now....
The door has been slammed shut in your face.

[greypilgrim]

morningstar, I really like those. :) You obviously put alot of thought and feeling into them.

Well, here is a poem, it was written by _____??? (I don't know). I found it and have editted it for grammatical errors and for emphasis.

This poem does have strong language, so read at your own risk...
































SOMEBODY BLEW UP AMERICA
(All thinking people
oppose terrorism
both domestic
& international…
But one should not
be used
To cover the other)


They say its some terrorist, some
barbaric A-Rab, in Afghanistan

It wasn't our American terrorists
It wasn't the Klan or the Skin heads
Or them that blows up negro
Churches, or reincarnates us on Death Row
It wasn't Trent Lott
Or David Duke or Giuliani
Or Schundler, Helms retiring

It wasn't
the gonorrhea in costume
the white sheet diseases
That have murdered black people
Terrorized reason and sanity
Most of humanity, as they pleases

They say (who say? Who do the saying
Who is them paying
Who tell the lies
Who in disguise
Who had the slaves
Who got the bux out the Bucks

Who got fat from plantations
Who genocided Indians
Tried to waste the Black nation

Who live on Wall Street
The first plantation
Who cut your nuts off
Who rape your ma
Who lynched your pa

Who got the tar, who got the feathers
Who had the match, who set the fires
Who killed and hired
Who say they God & still be the Devil

Who the biggest only
Who the most goodest
Who do Jesus resemble

Who created everything
Who the smartest
Who the greatest
Who the richest
Who say you ugly and they the goodlookingest

Who define art
Who define science

Who made the bombs
Who made the guns

Who bought the slaves, who sold them

Who called you them names
Who say Dahmer wasn't insane

Who/ Who /Who

Who stole Puerto Rico
Who stole the Indies, the Philipines, Manhattan
Australia & The Hebrides
Who forced opium on the Chinese

Who own them buildings
Who got the money
Who think you funny
Who locked you up
Who own the papers

Who owned the slave ship
Who run the army

Who the fake president
Who the ruler
Who the banker

Who/ Who/ Who/

Who own the mine
Who twist your mind
Who got bread
Who need peace
Who you think need war

Who own the oil
Who do no toil
Who own the soil
Who is not a n*gger
Who is so great ain't nobody bigger

Who own this city

Who own the air
Who own the water

Who own your crib
Who rob and steal and cheat and murder
and make lies the truth
Who call you uncouth

Who live in the biggest house
Who do the biggest crime
Who go on vacation anytime

Who killed the most niggers
Who killed the most Jews
Who killed the most Italians
Who killed the most Irish
Who killed the most Africans
Who killed the most Japanese
Who killed the most Latinos

Who/Who/Who

Who own the ocean

Who own the airplanes
Who own the malls
Who own television
Who own radio

Who own what ain't even known to be owned
Who own the owners that ain't the real owners

Who own the suburbs
Who suck the cities
Who make the laws

Who made Bush president
Who believe the confederate flag need to be flying
Who talk about democracy and be lying

WHO/WHO/WHO

Who the Beast in Revelations
Who 666
Who decide
Jesus get crucified

Who the Devil on the real side
Who got rich from Armenian genocide

Who the biggest terrorist
Who change the bible
Who killed the most people
Who do the most evil
Who don't worry about survival

Who have the colonies
Who stole the most land
Who rule the world
Who say they good but only do evil
Who the biggest executioner

Who/Who/Who

Who own the oil
Who want more oil
Who told you what you think that later you find out a lie

Who/Who/Who

Who found Bin Laden, maybe they Satan
Who pay the CIA,
Who knew the bomb was gonna blow
Who know why the terrorists
Learned to fly in Florida, San Diego

Who know why Five Israelis was filming the explosion
And cracking they sides at the notion

Who need fossil fuel when the sun ain't goin' nowhere

Who make the credit cards
Who get the biggest tax cut
Who walked out of the Conference
Against Racism
Who killed Malcolm, Kennedy & his Brother
Who killed Dr King, Who would want such a thing?
Are they linked to the murder of Lincoln?

Who invaded Grenada
Who made money from apartheid
Who keep the Irish a colony
Who overthrow Chile and Nicaragua later

Who killed David Sibeko, Chris Hani,
the same ones who killed Biko, Cabral,
Neruda, Allende, Che Guevara, Sandino,

Who killed Kabila, the ones who wasted Lumumba, Mondlane , Betty Shabazz, Princess Margaret, Ralph Featherstone, Little Bobby

Who locked up Mandela, Dhoruba, Geronimo,
Assata, Mumia,Garvey, Dashiell Hammett, Alphaeus Hutton

Who killed Huey Newton, Fred Hampton,
MedgarEvers, Mikey Smith, Walter Rodney,
Was it the ones who tried to poison Fidel
Who tried to keep the Vietnamese Oppressed

Who put a price on Lenin's head