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View Full Version : I've solved all of your LotR problems!!!

HLGStrider
05-09-2002, 04:21 AM
All the problems you've had with the Tolkien story can be swiftly explained away by remembering that they had passed several acts of legislations lately...

Remember the argument that the Nazgul were too clumsy with the hunting for the hobbits? Well, you see that was because of the new labor laws and Union pressure...

Sauron: Dang it!!! My Balrogs are all on three week paid vacations... All my orcs are on strike... I'll have to send the Nazguls!

Nazguls: We only work forty eight hour weeks, boss.
etc...

Then why were there so many hobbits in the Fellowship? Affirmitive action. You see, Hobbits are a minority and they didn't have any ents or Vala represented (also there were no women on the quest) so they made up for it with extra hobbits... Actually, very clever...


Why was Strider carrying only his broken sword in Bree?
It was one of those anti-sword areas, of course... No concealed weapons!!!

See, doesn't it all make sense now?
Goldberry344
05-09-2002, 04:28 AM
Elgee, it makes LESS sense now. but im simple....oh me oh my... :confused:
Gandalf_White
05-09-2002, 07:40 AM
OH MY GOODNESS! :eek: I am more confused than I ever was!:confused: HLGStrider you are a weirdo!:eek:
Lantarion
05-09-2002, 12:22 PM
Well that's a more...legal way to look at things.. :)
Gamil Zirak
05-09-2002, 02:43 PM
The blame came be placed on the labor unions. Why oh, why do they do make things so difficult?
Kit Baggins
05-09-2002, 05:41 PM
LOL hee hee :D !! That's certainly a... different... way of looking at it.

I like the idea of the Orcs being on strike :D

~Kit :)
Anarchist
05-09-2002, 08:33 PM
That could explain the delay of the riders of Rohan. I guess an oliphant crashed on a dragon and there was a traffic jam.
HLGStrider
05-09-2002, 09:07 PM
Yep... congestion was a big problem in Rowan... Ah... the perils of Middle Earth...
HLGStrider
05-14-2002, 03:56 AM
And the eagles couldn't take Frodo to Mordor because Air Traffic control wouldn't let them
Shadowfax
05-16-2002, 07:21 PM
No, they didn't take them because they didn't want to go through the random searches, long lines, and their swords would never have gotten through the heightened security!
HLGStrider
05-16-2002, 09:55 PM
All too true... Have you ever tried to get through a metal detector in a mail shirt???

Terrible... BEEEEEEEP.
Elfarmari
05-17-2002, 12:06 AM
Then why were there so many hobbits in the Fellowship? Affirmitive action. You see, Hobbits are a minority and they didn't have any ents or Vala represented (also there were no women on the quest) so they made up for it with extra hobbits... Actually, very clever...

:D :D :D I love it! I really don't like excessive political correctness. Maybe the prophecy that no Man would kill the Lord of the Nazgul was made for the same reason. . .
HLGStrider
05-31-2002, 10:07 PM
Quite... Eowyn was a womans' rights leader...
Dragon
06-15-2002, 07:48 PM
that was really funny, HLG Strider, but I'm sure there are still a lot of questions.:rolleyes:
HLGStrider
06-15-2002, 10:42 PM
Pose them and I'll answer... I am the great guru girl...
HLGStrider
09-29-2003, 09:22 AM
I'm bringing up old threads I liked. . this is one.