Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar still talked with Kirin and they soon got married. Elrond was feeling a sorry for himself, but nothing helped whien bob and arwen still made out.

[BlackCaptain]

Bob and Arwen eventualy turned into statues and Kane chokeslammed them. Sesshoumaru in the meantime was heart broken that his one true love was taken. He plotted revenge with the fruity BC

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar-ancalime happily giggled knowing that both Kirin and Sesshoumaru were made by the same comic book author!

[Thomas Baggins]

Another comic-book hero made his appearance.............................

Suddenly Nightcrawler teleported his way into wherever they were and started teaching Elrond how to teleport which made Elrond happy agian, meanwhile Arwen finally went back to Aragorn who had begun to work on the London subway system down underground, but Aragorn said that he had fallen in love with the dirt and would not leave it. Arwen ran back to the surface yelling about Aragorn becoming some kind of Dwarf.

[HLGStrider]

And he had. . .the worlds only six foot five dwarf!

"Let's control the amount of making out in this story," said the editor. "It's getting repetitive."

[Tar-Ancalime]

but since this was more of an anthology....some contested the controling of making out.

[BlackCaptain]

and there was a big party of all the most famous comic book artists in the world that Steve Stiffler was hosting for some reason. Lots of pie...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Rumiko Takashi met with the clamp artists, and a fight broke out over who's manga was better Inuyasha or x/1999

[Feanorian]

And Arnold broke into the room to announce his bid for govoner of Cali and was assualted by BC, Elrond, and Tar....he is actually alot weaker then he looks.........:(

[Tar-Ancalime]

considering Tar, could easily kill him with one bolt of electricity becaues of her electromancy skills....BUT BC got in the way...ooops!

[Thomas Baggins]

Too bad BC was standing in a puddle of water, that also had Arnold and TB in it. Suddenly TB started talking in Arnolds voice and Arnold turned into a much different looking Terminator, meanwhile BC was looking like George W. Bush and everyone else was staring in awe at the odd site while Bob was in the background stealing everything of value since no one seemed to mind.:eek:

[Feanorian]

Bob ran out with all the valueables to be halted by the guy who does all of the $.80 a day can save a child commericals and he said Bob had enough money for 5 life times...........bob began to cry and imediately handed over the loot.:(

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar was disapointed in her lack of attention and cried, eglee hit tar on the head with a woodenspoon while bob groveled at BC's feet

[HLGStrider]

Elgee then disappeared in a puff of smoke and the Ciggerette police rushed in, accused Bob of smoking in public and killing peopple with second hand smoke, and arrested him

He was to serve years in a high security prison where he was forced to watch the Brasilian Bridge Team practice.

[Thomas Baggins]

Manewhile TB with nothing better to do spent the whole time Bob was in prison devising ways to get him out, none of them worked.

[Feanorian]

Until he hired the crew from SWAT the new Colin Ferrel movie........they have gone bad since the preview of their movie bombed!!!

[BlackCaptain]

And BC took them all on single handedly. Until the lady came and bit his magical shin which sent him into a crying spree.

[Tar-Ancalime]

bc and bob got married in vegas

[BlackCaptain]

And BC bit Tar's magic shin for getting him so drunk that he didnt knkow what he was doing untill he was already married! BC divorced Bob quickly!

[HLGStrider]

Bob now had a hangover and was being used by the ACLU to sue the makers of Crispy Creame Donuts. He did not know why or how or whatever, but he was.

[Feanorian]

in the court he was useless...the reason..he kept walking over to KK donuts stand asking for a hot fresh donut....

[HLGStrider]

Unfortunately when the ACLU saw the initials KK they went balistic and accused Bob of being a member of the Ku Klux Klan because no ACLU members could count and they didn't know there were three k's in Klu Klux Klan.

[BlackCaptain]

But it turned out it was the Krispie Kream Klan! They took over the world and elected Tar as their queen

[Feanorian]

and Tar was forced to do some official Queen of the World buisness..............but then she remembered.....she likes Dunkin Donuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HLGStrider]

Her followers were so broken hearted at this treason that they all went over Niagra falls in barrels. . .actually, they survived and became famous and made a lot of money, and started a website, and interviewed Ann Coulter but that is another story.

[BlackCaptain]

And that story would be far too ridiculous for this one my friends
BC sighs and picks up a suitcase and puts his hat on and walks down the road into the sunset all cinimatic like. Then a worm came out of the ground and smiled for absolutely no reason

[Feanorian]

and what country took advantage of the worlds shaky posistion?!?!none other then CANADA.............................but then they asked the US what to do all the time and things went back to normal...:D :rolleyes:

[BlackCaptain]

And the worm was happy

Meanwhile Tar was sharing a Crispie Cream with Elrond at Dunkin Doughnuts. BC was off making a potion to cure his fruityness

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar and elrond got into a highly intelligent conversation of why Sauron was not the right person for elrond to want back in his life!Elrond was stubborn indeed!

[Feanorian]

and Elrond said: "If I cant hang out with Sauron...I dont want to live!!"........

[BlackCaptain]

Then jumped off a cliff. Luckily it was only a 5ft. cliff at a Mini Golf Course so he only spent 3 years in the hospital. It's amazing how quickly those elves recover...:rolleyes:

[Feanorian]

and who was the only one who came to visit....................................SAURON!!! Infact he stood by him everynight and some say it was only because Elrond had such a nice shoulder to lean on is why he survived.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar gave up on helping the poor git and left elrond forever, But she still sent bob to change Elronds' flowers

[Feanorian]

Tar having nothing to do decided to jog in place....*MEANWHILE* In Rivendell* Orcs and Elves had joined together in an alliance against hobbits and were preparing a march upon Bree after which they would take over The Shire. *What will happen to our heros*

[BlackCaptain]

They ran away and began building towers in the desolate Southern Angmar. Appearantly they've given up on the digging into the ground gig, and started building above it

[Tar-Ancalime]

Legolas, commander of the 3rd division said,
"We shouldn't be fighiting those hobbits! We should join them in slaugtering those sob orcs!" the people in the elvish press mouths became agape.

[Feanorian]

and then ITS A BIRD ITS A PLANE NO ITS MANWE...and hes flying drunk....poor guy his career really fell off after the whole Morogoth in the vast gap thing.....what does he really have left to do?

[HLGStrider]

Play simcity?

Manwe was a super simcity player. He was celling power to the guy to the west and water to the guy to the east but he couldn't find anyone to import trash for.

[Feanorian]

until the dwarves of the lonely mountain contracted him to remove all of the trash they have accumulated since the constant parties started, seeing how they were rich again. one day Manwe was taking a break laughing with some of the high-dwarves around the dinner table and Aule (the valar..not the australian :D) came bursting in..."What are you doing with my dwarves!!!" Manwe was scared of Aule because he had a large shovel in his hand which he was going to give to the dwarves for being such special friends.....sounds like trouble in paradise (or Valinor ;) )

[HLGStrider]

Eru was playing checkers with Turin who was complaining about his lot in life. Eru wasn't all that interested and jumped all of Turin's pieces in one move. Turin was very upset and started to complain to Eru's new cupbearer Bob.

How did Bob get that job? Well. ..I'll tell you. . .

[Tar-Ancalime]

meanwhile...Legolas was angry that the war abruptly ended, did his best impression of the General patton scowl. Manwe asked Legolas,

"Whats got you all pe-od???" IN a gruff voice,
Legolas grunted,

"Im a pure warrior, and we should be killing those orcs instead of these hobbits...instead of peice...so they call me a nut! Muhahahhahahahh!!!!" manwe just choke slammed Legolas and walked off.

[Feanorian]

Bob got the job after mending Manwe and Aule's relationship, they put in a good word for him. He was just getting comfy with his new job until......Legalos showed up. He then got all giggly like a little girl and ran up to him and said "Orlando Orlando, can I have your autograph?" and Legalos said "That's the last time I am mistaken with that pretty boy, he pulled out his bow and made Bob beg for forgivness and write "Orlando Bloom is a women" 3000 times on a large black board.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Orlando then killed bob for calling him a woman

[HLGStrider]

Fortunately it wasn't Bob but his evil twin Bob, which of course is Bob spelt backwards. . .Bob's evil twin was married to the evil twin of Bob's true love Nan. Her name was Nan which is Nan backwards.

[Feanorian]

the real Bob thought it was time to get serious with his life and he asked Nan to marry him but as soon as she was about to say yes, Legalos intervened and she asked him for his autograph and he said *in Fonzy Voice* "Ehhh" and they ran off, Legalos looked over his shoulder and said "haha"

[HLGStrider]

Bob, distressed and distraught and in the depths of dispair, went to work in Azog's sensational slaughter house by way of revenge against Legolas who he christened Leggylass. However, the real Leggylass, who was running for governor in California, sued him for quite a sum and Bob had to go on Sixty Minutes to tell his heart rending story.

[Feanorian]

but John Stote said: Give my a break......and suddenly they were all on main street dancing and singing the kit-kat song..."give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that kit kat bar" and bob was happy and Leggylas forgave him...Azog retired to an Elf-ranch is southern Mississippi.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob and Leggylass got married and lived Happily ever after????

*tar wonders what part of her mind was taken over to say taht*

[HLGStrider]

"It vas the obdula oblangata. . ." said Dr. Einstein.

[Feanorian]

"It vas the obdula oblangata. . ." said Dr. Einstein.


Who had risen from the dead to invoke his revenge upon any and all Dunkin Donut employees.....

[HLGStrider]

It is a little known fact that Dr. Einstein died choking on a chocolate donut with those little sprinkles on the top that had been given to him by Tommy Lee Jones while they were chasing down Harrison Ford who was wanted for the terrible Texas accent he did in the Sisko Kid.

[Wolfshead]

That little incident climaxed with Tommy Lee Jones dressed in a black suit, holding a big silver gun and Harrison Ford with a whip and hat (as seen in Indiana Jones). However, the archaeologist was killed in a matter of seconds, and the Germans won after all, because Tommy Lee Jones was infact Kaiser Wilhelm in diguise!

[HLGStrider]

This was quite a surprise to Dr. Henry Jones Sr who thought that Kaiser Wilhelm was Chief Justic Renquist in disguise.

[Wolfshead]

Then Sean Connery's dog, Indiana, strolled in and ate Kaiser Wilhelm/Chief Justice Renquist.

[Feanorian]

and then the onlookers got another shock when the dog stood up on two feet and said "This is a test..only a test."

[Wolfshead]

Of course, Kaiser Wilhelm/that other guy was understandably miffed, to say the least. So, he picked up a toothpick that was in his pocket (inside the dog) and started stabbing the unfortunate canine... repeatedly.

[Tar-Ancalime]

mean while the dog,indiana actually talked and said, "DAmmit..I want my name back Junior" Jones replied, " Dont call me junior"

[HLGStrider]

Then Indy Jones took a shot gun and shot up the poor dog!

[Wolfshead]

Except he missed the dog, and shot his father instead. Except his father was really Bob in disguise! (I have no idea where Bob's gone, I haven't been here for a while :rolleyes: ). Bob fell to floor crying out in agony, and asking for Ernie from Sesame Street to sing him a song about bath time.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and as usual, bob lived, in his own twisted way he alwaays has lived, alone, switching demensions, dying, being reincarnated, being stalked by eglee, TAr, elrond, the harrison fords, and all the rest, and as he sat in a lonely park bench, he sighed deeply. A small moaning sound, smybolizing the grief of his survival.


all i wanted was to be loved by a woman pure and gentle, a woman like meg ryan, or Kate hudson, or Katherine Hepburn before the baggy eyes stage...but i cannot..O woe is me!

And then a woman sat next to him, bob was in shock and asked the woman for her name she said....

[Feanorian]

"hey your the guy on the TV!"

[Wolfshead]

And Bob groaned and jumped down a nearby man hole, into the sewers below the city. But he jumped into pink goo! Pink goo that looked suspiciously like the pink goo from Ghostbusters II!

[Tar-Ancalime]

and again he fell adrift into the land of the movies

[Tar-Ancalime]

and again he fell adrift into the land of the movies

[HLGStrider]

And the laws against double posting stopped him from starting his own florist shop around the corner, so Tom Hanks had him come work for Fox Books.

[Wolfshead]

Then Tom Hanks and Fox Books burnt to a crisp. Except, no! Someday had shouted "Run, Forrest, run!" just in time and Tom Hanks escaped onto a space shuttle and went to the moon!

[BlackCaptain]

Only to meet Arnold Swartchenager (sp?) who had a group of assault droids with him. Tom Hanks sneezed and the anti gravitation of the moon combined with the monsterous force of the sneeze sent Tom flying back to earth and Arnold flying towards Mars. ''This is not over!'' yelled Arnold as he landed in the giant redness of Mars

[Tar-Ancalime]

it was really too bad because it turned out on the moon that Catcher Block was hosting this totally bishie party and like everyone was invited, including Bob who found that companionship comes alot easier when your companion is drunk....but anyways...

[HLGStrider]

His drunk companion thought he was Peter Jackson and was trying to get a part in Lord of the Rings Part Four, RETURN OF THE URK HAI!

Bob was befuddled, but not as befuddled as those who had actually read the books.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and for that reason his drunk companion was seeking a part in the new film that befuddled nearly everyone, it would've been o.k. for bob, but the compainion was awfully cuddly...and a squireel???

[BlackCaptain]

When the 4th movie was aired everyone was mad becaus it was directed by a man named Peanut Jelly (Commonly reffered to as PJ) completely did it wrong. What a surprise. PJ had Kane play the head of the Uruk Hai, and forgot to put Bom Tombadil in the movie

[Feanorian]

the movie came out 1 year late because of Kane...he thought he had become a big shot with his movie roll which ended in him dying at the hands of Aragorn's unkown grandchild who was a......hobbit?!?!?

[BlackCaptain]

But Kane came back to life a second time, now seeking vengance upon Aragorn, not the Undertaker! He met Bob and BC on the way and they took a pitstop at an Alice Cooper concert

[HLGStrider]

The colored pencils jumped out of the sinks and began to scribble on the toilet paper. . .

[BlackCaptain]

And Alice Cooper was sad because the toilet paper was his best friend

[Turin]

I know this is an off subject post but I can't believe this story is still going, I saw it like last year sometime, I had no idea it would last this long.

[HLGStrider]

It'll last forever! MUHA HA HA!

The toliet paper died a miserable death when Bob used it to decorate Alice's car.

[Feanorian]

which was parked in neutral before the meteor.....?

[Tar-Ancalime]

Sadly, this meteor hit earth whiping out the whole human race, accepting bob.

[BlackCaptain]

And then everyone moved to Mars because Earth was now called Bobland.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Mars, after some work turned out to be a haven and a trendy metroplis overtook the unsuspecting planet

[HLGStrider]

Bob started a cinnamon tea store and sold tea and crumpets to unsuspecting Englishmen. . .they didn't know the actual cook was his dog, Marty.

[Feanorian]

who enjoyed jumping around the top of tree tops which were....

[HLGStrider]

blue and green and red and yellow and maroon . ..maroon! When Marty heard that word he was turned into Benjamin Gunn and left to suffer on Treasure Planet, the worst possible way to remake a classic.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Adn bob cried, "I want vinila coke u villian."

[BlackCaptain]

And the vinila coke vendor gave him a Mountain Dew and Bob was more than happy. But bob got too hyper from the Dew from the Mountain and started attacking mars with his fleet

[HLGStrider]

Unfortunately it was only a fleet of Honda Accords, the new kind that could fly and launch surface to air missiles.

[Feanorian]

their slogan: Cheap and Dependable. This however increased wars on Earth which TADA had re-appeared!!!!! IT was all out war between the Hondas and the Nissans, who will win?!?!?!

[HLGStrider]

Then the ecoterrorists attacked the Hummer dealership causing Rush Limbaugh, the Prator of Pluto, to laugh at them with scorn.

[Feanorian]

as he was laughing a grape he was eating got lodged in his throat. He died, the whole universe joined in singing a song of lament that went like....

[Tar-Ancalime]

actually since most japanse companies are fragemtns of old Samurai warlords, it was ratehr funny cause they had these samurai guns

[Valdarmyr]

So they all joined in a song of lament for Rush Limbaugh, all except Legolas, for whom the grief was too near, since Rush helped him learn to actually express his feelings for a change and get mad at stuff. When the song was over, Legolas grabbed the Samurai guns and made like Ah-nuld Schwarzenegger, shooting out the tires of all the other recall candidates so they couldn't campaign.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and they all went to church!

[Valdarmyr]

Then Bob stepped up to the pulpit and told the congregation, "I will now read from Leviticus 18, Jackson 5."

[HLGStrider]

Donny Osmond interrupted the party and started singing the soprano part to "One Bad Apple." Micheal Jackson hit him with a tomato and joined the MIB.

[Feanorian]

but Michael scared all of the aliens, he had to quit and join a rodeo

[Tar-Ancalime]

the priest died of shock(god rest his soul), but no one seemed to notice while the dance scene went on.

[HLGStrider]

The cat in the hat started to juggle Bob who had been transformed into a fish. Bob sunk deep into a cake and Thing one and Thing Two danced with Sally and I.

[Feanorian]

until everyone was sucked into an ancient Roman Gladiator fight

[HLGStrider]

Of course, Thing One and Thing Two prevailed. They knocked all the Gladiators to kingdom come but the Kingdom that was Coming was unfortunately Disney's magical Kingdom!

[Valdarmyr]

So Bob said--"At my signal, unleash Goofy."

[HLGStrider]

And hand me the hydrospanners!" Han Solo yelled!

[Valdarmyr]

Chewbacca took off after Goofy, and since Calista Flockhart had Chewie on a leash, and she weighed roughly the same as a feather, she went sailing through the air after him, while Harrison Ford yelled, "Hang on, Calista...and may the force be with you!"

[HLGStrider]

Then Carrie Fischer decided she was sick of being Leia and wanted to be the Babe from the Blues Brothers. So she blew up Dan Ackroid and ran off with Bob to do some target practice with her knew, hand held, rocket launcher.

[Tar-Ancalime]

was han sure distraught too!

[Valdarmyr]

Just at that moment, Mark Hamill tripped over an Ewok, and his lightsaber cut the California budget. Ah-nold Schwarzenegger didn't have to be the "Governator" anymore, so he devoted all his time and energy to getting Bob totally pumped up.

[Turin]

And then he died because of bobs dirty socks, but the dirty socks knew better and started running after the potatos.

[Feanorian]

which got trapped in a giant pressure cooker which was in actuality a portal to the mysterious worlds of....

[Turin]

Orange underwear that drive mowers around all day and...

[HLGStrider]

dance the samba and the mamba to the tune of the labamba with the clicky clacky ticky tack ricky racky micky macky racoon of Katmandu.

[Turin]

Who's favorite food is tree bark and paint.

[HLGStrider]

Bob went through the portal and watched the strange dance of this racoon who's real name was Lucky Bandit Hopper Toad-Eater Crusher of All That Is Noble in the Universe.

[Feanorian]

but wait...what is happening over at TTF? WM and Beorn are in a power struggle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who will be the victor?!?!?!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar cheered on Boern, while secretly wishing that she could have a kiss from Han Solo!

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks watched on secretly wishing that either or both of them would turn into anime chicks with blue and/or purple hair and start mud wrestling as that would be a lot more interesting.

[Thomas Baggins]

TB stood by, thinking the same thing as Wonks.

[Thomas Baggins]

TB stood by, thinking the same thing as Wonks.

[Turin]

While at the same time Bob's podracer hit a bump and broke down so he was disqualified.

[HLGStrider]

Bob started hitting everything around him with a wrench. . .then he was attacked by a police officer carrying love potion number nine instead of mace.

[Valdarmyr]

Bob yelled "YIPPEE!" George Lucas just covered his eyes and groaned, while Obi-Wan Kenobi yanked all the hairs out of his beard.

[HLGStrider]

"RUINED!" wept George. "MY ENTIRE MOVIE! RUINED!"

"You think you have trouble," Turin sniffed.

[Turin]

But then George's beard turned blue and he shrunk untill he was a dwarf and started singing...

[Valdarmyr]

"The road goes ever on and on,
Down from the door where it began"
And when he realized what he had done...in that moment he knew, and said, "The Lord of the Rings" will always be bigger, huger, more magnificent and more legendary than "Star Wars"!!!

[Turin]

Even though there were many more star wars movies made. But then the resurected death star flew in and started shooting red and green colored coolaid and hit George and his beard turned orange.

[HLGStrider]

George smiled really big. He had always wanted an orange beard, but his oppressive step-momma had refused to let him die it any color other than pink when he was a boy. . .and she wouldn't let him shave, which was really embarrassing because he was the only one in pre-school with facial hair. . .that is besides the teacher, Mrs. Edwards. . .Mrs. Edwards had always understood young George remarkably well, which is why he based Jabba the Hutt completely off her character.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and by popular request we started from the begining again...

Yesterday morning Bob woke up, stepped out of bed, and fell through a hole in his floor... Down and down and down he fell... He fell for three hours straight, which caused him to miss his breakfast. Finally he landed... BOOM!!! He looked up. Far above him was the pinpoint of light... the hole he'd fallen from.

"Geez... Now I must go find some breakfast," Bob sighed. He walked around town. It was a strange town, with paper houses and such. Bob felt a little bit chilly because he was only wearing his pajamas...

[HLGStrider]

Bob stopped suddenly realizing he was CAUGHT IN A TIME WARP!

Who could've caused this terrible time warp? Was it Jabba the Hutt and George? Was it Hillary Clinton? Was it Alec Baldwin? George Bush? Sadam? Usama? Hillary Duff? Meg Ryan? The Rubber Ducky of Westmarch? Harrison Ford and the School of Monotone acting? His true Love Zelda? His evil palindrome twin, Bob?

[Valdarmyr]

It was Peter Jackson, who had been watching the Guy Pearce film "Memento," with all its flashbacks and flash-forwards, and out of the rift in the time-space continuum that he created came Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. And behind the wheel, dressed up like an Intergalactic Carmen Miranda, was...BOB!!! And he said...

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Muahahahahaahah, I am making the Totaly ridiculous story like mainstream entertainment and reinventing old tv shows!"And so a previous entry from this sreies was inserted....

In a reckless act of bravery and cunning (not to metion utter skill) the black knight recently defeated by Arthur hobbles his limless torso over to the Knights who say ni
"Have you seen this king guy around here? He wears a crown and talks about his court at camelot." he asks.
" NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI
,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,
NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI, this king has not passed by leave before you torso-man become priisoner." the Knights of ni respond.
"Oh bloody hell all I ask is if king arthur passed by and I get a migrane, bugger!" The limless knight says while amazingly moving along the ground.

[HLGStrider]

The phone rang and Bob answered. It was Carmen Sandiego.

'Where in the world are you?" Bob snapped.

[Valdarmyr]

"I'm in Bournemouth doing the fish-slapping dance with the Pantomime Horse!" Carmen yelled. And so it was that the Monty Python Lovers Guild was merged into the Bob thread, making it a kind of Bob-o-link.

[Tar-Ancalime]

The harrison fords rejoiced and decided to race like they did in American Grafitii.

[HLGStrider]

But they were too fast and too furious and the flag was half mast for the matadors who turned their back to please the crowd and fell before the bull. . ." Wailed the Association.

"What bowl?" asked Bob O Link.

[Feanorian]

the bowl of enlightenment that is

[HLGStrider]

A bunch of surfer dudes showed up, threw down the boards, and began to kowtow before a large bowl of bean dip crooning, 'Oh great bowl of enlightenment. . .grace us with your knowledge. ..grace us with your pressence. . .We are not worthy. . .we art not worthy. . ."

[Valdarmyr]

They worshiped the Holy Bean Dip because they had heard about the Big Bang Theory! One of the surfer dudes lit a match! He held it up in the air, and Harrison Ford, Michael Jackson and everyone started singing "We Are The World."

[Turin]

But then the Knights who say Ni came in and scared everyone away back to the drycleaners from where they came.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and they were kenmore too!~

[HLGStrider]

The Maytag fellow was very lonely. . .or was that the Whirl pool Guy? Either way, he was lonely, and he began to look for companionship. He started to sing the Beach Boys "Surfer Girl" song, hoping it would attract some attention. It did.

[Turin]

Then the blue sony alien guy came and he started eating potatos.

[BlackCaptain]

And the RCA Dalmations came and joined the potato chip eating party. Where were the Fish to go along with the chips?!:eek: :confused:

[Turin]

Then PJ comes in and starts shaving his beard which was...

[Tar-Ancalime]

so big it did more damage than the biblical flood

[BlackCaptain]

When he was done he donated all of the hair to Greenpeace and they used it in turn to save the whales, which Bob was trying to destroy as a race because of mental problesm

[Turin]

But the hair consumed Bob but he had a...

[HLGStrider]

magic needle through which camels were constantly traveling through. ..

[Turin]

And he sewed a sweater with the magic needle and gave it to George Washington who wore it while choping down the potato tree with his guitar.

[Feanorian]

which belonged to Johhny Cash who wrote a new song called "Dog named pizza-face" it was an inter-galactic hit

[HLGStrider]

Leonardo Da Vinci loved it so much that he painted a picture of Cash. . .unfortunately he thought that Cash looked like Washington so it ended up a picture of Jefferson. . .I'm not sure how.

[Feanorian]

and Jefferson said " GOD SAVE THE QUEEN................of MORDOR!!!!"

at this point Tar interjected with a public service announcement to the free people of Mordor....it went like this.................................

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Citizens of mordor" she began, "I have a dream that all day we shall have you work!" and the orcs cheered

[Valdarmyr]

...all except the Orc who thought he was a Hobbit. He said he wanted to go to Hobbiton, farm crops, eat lots, smoke pipe weed, and grow hair on his feet.

[Feanorian]

he was actually a hobbit in the witness protection program..he was seeking refuge from the sisterhood of the pants

[Turin]

So he fled to the brotherhood of the pantys...

[HLGStrider]

Bob, who wasn't sure where he was at this point, so he scrolled back a few pages and found out he was working as a seemstress with Betsy Ross.

[Valdarmyr]

He'd just had the strangest dream about an Orc who was having a panic attack because he couldn't decide whether he should wear boxers or briefs, when Betsy smacked him upside the head and brought him back to reality, the force of the blow knocking out one of Bob's fake eyeballs and sending it skittering across the floor, as if batted by an innocent little kitten! "Is this what I pay you for?" she asked him, and added, "We have to get these flags ready for soldiers to carry in the Battle of Pelennor Fields on December 16th, or PJ will have them carry something else, and if that happens, joxy and Mrs. Maggott will have my head!!!"

[HLGStrider]

"Perhaps they could carry a Big Mac and some fries?" Bob said somewhat groggily. "And a pizza. . .I bet everyone in Gondor is really hungry. . .and you can't eat flags. I know because I tried. . .and Mrs. Maggott and Joxy had my head, and I had to get a transplant, which took a long time. . ."

Bob's eye rolled around seeing things it had never seen before, like peanuts and coffee tables.

[Turin]

And then Bob's eyeball got flushed down the toilet and he saw some other things that he didn't want to see.

[HLGStrider]

His eye ended up in the land of the Smerfs where Elgee was plotting with all her powers of goodness and light against Aule and the evil forces of Graph Kludge that had recently endangered her totally ridiculous story.

[Valdarmyr]

But the power of the Ring could not be undone, and when Aule and Graph Kludge's lumbering hoardes came up against the towering figure of the Webmaster, the sheer force of WM's presence made them promise to keep their tricksy little fingerses off TTF's Number One Thread!

Meanwhile, having spent a fortnight with the Smurfs, Bob's eye then ventured into the Land of Morrrdorrr--at least, that's how Elrond says it--and there it spied with its little eye the Eye of Sauron! :eek:

[Turin]

But Bob came up and poked Sauron's eye so it finally blinked and started to cry, so Bob put an eye drop in it and it became normal again.

[Feanorian]

but Sauron could never get over the shame of blinking...he had to join a support groups BA (blinkers aynonumos)

[Turin]

But his hair was too long so they kicked him out.

[HLGStrider]

He went and got his hair styled and permed and that made him not such a bad guy because all it was was a very long bad hair day that was making him evil.

[Valdarmyr]

(Our narrator says, in an aside to our audience, "Gollum...now there's a bad hair day! I bet the fellas from "***** Eye For The Straight Guy" could help him out big time!" The aside now over, our story continues.)

Sauron had just gotten back to being a nice guy, but all this talk about eyes was making him feel rather tense and itchy, so he said the magic word--"Proud-FEET!"--and BANG, Bob's eye flew back into his head! Now that Bob had his eye back, the first thing he did was...

[HLGStrider]

write a fan letter to Boris Yeltzin, who he thought was the guy who played the Russian in Airforce One, but when Boris got the letter, he became in incensed. .. actually, he was in centsed, so he had a lot of change, but he couldn't make a phone call because the phone only took Russian coins and he was in Botswana, where the phones only take Moldovian coins, and then only on thursdays or any friday with a full moon.

[Turin]

Bob's hair had turned white since he went to Russia and joined the moffia and got shot with koolaid which was...

[BlackCaptain]

Buckleberry. It's so sad because Bob was alergic to Buckleberry. He died. But then came back to life because his coffin was the wrong color and he couldnt rest in peace

[Feanorian]

and he got on a megaphone and said "HEY YOU ALL MAKE ENOUGH NOISE TO WAKE UP THE DEAD" and then the world responded with "GET OFF THE STAGE!"

[HLGStrider]

It was a green coffin and Bob just knew this was a purposeful insult to his beloved great Aunt Martha, who was a Checkoslovokian nurse from Belgrade. The other kids at school had always teased Bob because they had Scottish nurses from Qatar for aunts, and he didn't even have an Irish one, and he just knew that the coffin was Green to remind him that he didn't have an Irish nurse for an aunt.

So he went to the Lord of the Underworld, Lord Worldunder, and asked him to solve his coffin problem. Not understanding, Lord Worldunder gave Bob some Ricola cough drops, which Bob immediately took to be an insult against his dog who was a German shepherd, not a Swiss army knife.

[Turin]

The knife was yellow and couln't cut anything, but it could eat purple butterflies.

[HLGStrider]

This was, of course, illegal, and Bob's pocket knife was arrested for it. .. Wait, Bob didn't have a pocket knife! What was going on here?

[Turin]

It was arrested and put into juvinile detention for food grafiti.

[HLGStrider]

"Now that wasn't nice," Bob said. He then purchased a train ticket to Katmandu.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which he then realised was a bad idea, because as he arrived in Katmandu, he was shot with a bowl of pudding, which tore a whole straight through his stomach.
But because of the unusual gravitational fields in Katmandu, his intestines were suspended from falling out of his body, and he was able to walk around perfectly normally. He could function just like any other person, except that to eat, instead of putting food into his mouth, he had to pulverize it with a grinder and put it directly into his large intestine as he was missing his stomach.
The Katmandu doctors told him he could exist like this indeffinitely, so long as he never left Katmandu.

So Bob was stuck there.

Forever.

Or he'd die very horribly and painfully.

[HLGStrider]

But perhaps there was a third option. . .and option unknown to the Dr.s of Katmandu. . .or perhaps it was a plot, a big, evil scary plot, to keep him forever there and forever unable to eat. . .the Grand Munchkin would know! Bob had to see the Grand Munchkin.

[Wonko The Sane]

Unfortunately the Grand Munchkin had recently gone on a hunger strike and starved to death and then was zapped by an anti-matter gun.

He was gone.

Gone.

Gone.

And Bob was alone.

Alone.

Alone.

[Valdarmyr]

Suddenly, his attention was drawn to the corner of the room, where something was giving off a dull glint in the late afternoon sunlight. Bob walked over, picked it up and blew a heavy layer of dust off it, which made him cough. It was a magic lamp! Bob reached out and rubbed it. Ever so slowly, blue smoke started to curl out the end. Bob sniffed the air...strangely, it smelled a bit like Whiskas. As if pushed by a giant hand, a huge plume of smoke now rushed out of the lamp, and in the midst of it Bob could see something taking shape and growing in size. Was it? Yes it was...it was the Cat from Katmandu!

[Wonko The Sane]

And the Cat from Katmandu looked at Bob with an evil glint in her eye.

"Mrowr" she said, in a sultry voice. "Kiss me, baby!" and as Bob leaned in to kiss the Cat of Katmandu (something he was unaware you should never do) her furry mouth brushed his lips and in a poof of blue light that smelled like Whiskas she burst from the lamp!

"I'm free!" she shouted. "FOOL! INFIDEL!!! Don't you know never to kiss the Cat of Kat? It breaks the spell! I'm FREE!!!"

And with that she promptly mauled Bob, scratching his face and coughing a hairball into the hole in his stomach, which was sucked into his intestines and gave him indigestion.

[HLGStrider]

"Why me?" moaned Bob.

"Because," said a voice with an Einstein accent. "You art the protagonist. . . and everything else is the antagonist. You willt never escape your fate!"

And Bob said, "Phoeey!" Bob then melted into a puddle of strawberry smoothy.

[Turin]

And Bob wanted to become the antagonist so he handed the story over to Fred, who was very white.

[HLGStrider]

In fact he was an Albino Rat with pinkish eyes and a nice, white smile. He had a job posing for Colgate's whitening toothpaste that was made of guano and rat tails. However, when he discovered the cruel treatement used to extract the rat tails, he quit and moved to Botswana where, for the first time, he met Bob, who was in a twenty ounce smoothy cup.

[Turin]

But it was the albino rat's favorite flavor so he drank bob with the smoothy and he was...

[HLGStrider]

immediately transformed into Mark Macguire. People were naming their children after him. He was hitting home runs! Then his bat broke and everyone mistook him for Barry Bonds and Ken Griffy Jr. hit him with a wet noodle.

[Turin]

But the wet noodle wasn't very wet so it stuck to him.

[Wonko The Sane]

The wet noodle, however, was a MAGIC wet noodle, and it turned Mark McGuire into Carlos Guillen, and because Carlos Guillen is a raging alcoholic Fred promptly fell over.

[Feanorian]

he got back up to discover him and bob trapped in a 20 oz bottle of Cherry Coke, how will they escape!?

[Turin]

Bob turned into a german shepard and started chasing beehives.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which was bizarre because Bob had been drunk as a smoothie by Fred...

Which means that when Fred was Carlos Guillen he must've vomited Bob up.

Carlos Guillen vomits a lot.

That's because he drinks.

[HLGStrider]

Bob was swimming above Fred's head as a microscopic aemobia. Fred was drunk. Bob was a German Shepherd, and the bees were buzzying angrily. That's when Pooh Bear showed up and made everything MUCH worse.

[Wonko The Sane]

Or would have, if he hadn't burst his seams and exploded from heat exhuastion and severe constipation.

[BlackCaptain]

Then they went to Christopher Robbinson who fixed him right up

[Wonko The Sane]

And then slashed Fred in the throat.

Christopher Robin was a bit schizophrenic and more than a little dangerous.

[HLGStrider]

Not as dangerous as Tigger who had married an Elf and was ruling Mirkwood.

[Turin]

He found plenty of trees to pogo over, but as he was clearing one he go caught in quick sand which was...

[HLGStrider]

jelly coated.

The little jellyfish swam about Tigger who begged for mercy but received only government compensation.

[Turin]

And social security, which was enough to pay the jellyfish for his freedom.

[HLGStrider]

but it wasn't enough to pay off Bob to whom he owed a considerable about of money for bets taken on the Arts and Crafts Faire and Cook Out annual Hemp Braiding and Hot Dog Eating contest.

So, there was only one alternative. . .MURDER!

[Wonko The Sane]

Which he gladly called on Christopher Robin to do for him.

And Christopher Robin SLASHED Bob down for the second time, and then slashed Tigger too for good measure.

Then he skipped off to keep his lunch date with Piglet. Where, aftewards, he planned to slash him too.

[HLGStrider]

Everyone was dead. . .but that did not stop the gnats from inviting them all to their biannual spring fling get together at the Farmers Market. It would be so much fun that year!

[Valdarmyr]

and once they got to the Farmers Market, they found that everyone was SLASHING PRICES! Even that guy in the booth where he's selling knives, and he uses them to cut thin slices of tomato, next he says, "you can even use them to slice a gnat in mid-air," and then he cuts a tin can in half, and just like Boromir, he says, "Still sharp!" AHA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!! eh-hem.

[Turin]

But the knives were not sharp, in fact they were incredibly dull and crooked. So the saleman tryed to get into the book of world records by shaving the most beards in...

[HLGStrider]

three-quarter time. . .which of course meant he was waltzing...Have you ever seen a waltzing knife sellsman turned barber before?

Neither had Christopher Robin, and he was very displeased.

[Valdarmyr]

So the barber sat Christopher Robin down in the barber's chair and gave him a nice Mohawk, which Pooh and all his friends giggled at endlessly. Then the barber said, "I'm not really a man, I'm a woman, Waltzing Matilda is my name, and I'm Bob's long-lost high school sweetheart!" :eek:

[Feanorian]

but the principal came on to the scene and said: LETS DANCE!!

[HLGStrider]

They danced with an Elephant wearing Spandex to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb. Then Mary burst in and yelled out "BUT I DON'T HAVE LITTLE LAMB! I HAVE A DOBERMAN!"

The doberman eyed the elephant and licked his lips. Bob felt nervous.

[Marah Seph]

Bob hid behind Christopher Robin for good measure.

[HLGStrider]

The measure was exactly four inches and three centimeters.

The Inch Worm measured it, and Bob always trusted inch worms. . .

Unfortunately, he had made a mistake and this was a centimeter worm. They are nasty, lying worms! Because of this Bob was sentenced to hard labor in Zimbabwe.

That's where he met Cruella D'Vil.

[Valdarmyr]

She was the warden, and her influence rubbed off on him...he ended up with about 100 spots, just like a Dalmation. Man, that dude looked funny!

[Marah Seph]

Cruella found this extremely attractive and wanted to make a coat out of him. She chased him around the camp for a short distance before she fell.

[Valdarmyr]

...and as she fell, her cigarette holder poked Bob in the eye.

[Feanorian]

which was made of brown jello

[HLGStrider]

Cruella sobbed because she never got the coat she wanted so Bob bought her a letterman jacket that had a big D on the sleeve. She was so happy. She love it so much. She kissed Bob and did her hair and smiled and laughed and turned into Gwyneth Patrol.

[Feanorian]

Who got cought in a gust of wind because she is so thin and never eats.......goodbye Gwenyth

[HLGStrider]

Bob cried because he'd lost yet another true love, even if she had tried to make coats out of him.

Bob had gained a considerable amount of weight in the past fewyears and was now officially the world's only living mountain. He was causing the earths gravitational fields to be off.

[BlackCaptain]

And then he died because one of his red blood cells exploded and caused a thermal meltdown destroying the world

Luckily they were on the 'Fake' earth for this WHOLE story and everyone went back to earth except for Bob, Kane, and Sesshoumaru

[HLGStrider]

Then Bob requested to get the last place in the darkness, with Bill O'Rielly and Nancy Drew. Bob was a big fan of Nancy Drew.

[BlackCaptain]

And BC made Elgee the princess of darkness, compleeting the 9!

[HLGStrider]

Bob was heart broken. He flung himself at BC's evil avatar and tried to rip it's heart out. Elgee was weeping in the corner with her cats.

[Feanorian]

then Feanorian who is still not sure as to how he ended up in the Circle of Evil looked around and found nothing but emptyness. he cried himself to sleep.

[HLGStrider]

Elgee's cats came over to Feanor and began to lick his feet. Bob was sobbing. Elgee was sobbing. Feanor began to laugh because his feet tickled.

[Marah Seph]

Feanor's laughter caused Bob and Elgee to become very angery with him. Elgee scooped up her cat in a giant pooper --scooper and Bob dashed at Feanor with a knife.

[HLGStrider]

"AH-HA!" shouted Feanor. "So you would challange me? The maker of the the Silmarils! The true ruler of the Noldor! You would assail me! This shall not be! I will defeat you all for I have a Mitsubishi!"

[BlackCaptain]

And BC blamed Anamatar because he was the one that told BC to put him in! And Elgee slowly became eviler and eviler! But BC reversed the process making her anti evil making BC evilest! What an evil thing to do!

[Feanorian]

Feanor disappeared and was later found in group sessions for people who are anti-social. He was forced to tell the members of his group what he did that week which made him cringe and desire a Chicken Quesadilla......

[BlackCaptain]

Unfortunately BC had control over all of the Quessedillas in the world and was charging 50 dollars per crumb. Would Feanor buy it?!

[Feanorian]

Feanor was very angry about how his boss was handling the whole Quesadilla ordeal...but then he remembered that he was the creator of the Sils and had riches unimaginable....mwuahahahahah

[HLGStrider]

Uncle Sam found out that Feanor had wealth umimaginable too. ..and nothign was beyond HIS imagination. .. He sharpened his claws and attacke.d

[Feanorian]

Feanor then took up a place in Iraq to escape his woes, but friendly fire from a wayward missle sent him to Timbuktu.

[HLGStrider]

Ah, but it was too late for Bob. . .Bob had been caught by the Iraqi information minister and was listening to him give HIS impression of Sean Hannity for a change.

[Feanorian]

and then everyone stopped and screamed: "Elgee has a warning level!!!???!?!?!?!?" Bob ponders.....maybe she really is more evil then BC.

[BlackCaptain]

And then BC tells Bob the tale of how he got warning points for making a certain Wizard King so afraid of comingn to TTF he got 12 warning points! Mr.Evil? BC! Mrs.Evil: Elgee. But Mr. is more evil than Mrs. any day

[HLGStrider]

The great Mohojamado swept in to defend Elgee's honor and explain it was all a misunderstanding involving a very old thread with some spam on it she was trying to be a very good girl and clean up (PM her for the whole story. I have two mods who can back me up!).

The Great Mohojamado who didn't know what his name meant, asked Bob what it meant. Bob whispered something into his ear and Mohojamado slapped him.

[Feanorian]

Feanor tells BC and Elgee to PM him the stories because he is always curious about what people have done to gain these points. He then things there should be a sub-forum with a list of names with people who have points and what they did...sort of like the Spanish Inquisistion.....WHICH IS WHERE BOB IS RIGHT NOW!!!!

[HLGStrider]

Bob was being tickled for the evil thing he said to whatever he was. . .it was too much to bear. Bob wept for mercy.

[BlackCaptain]

And then Bob wondered... why are we just having a discussion in the third person and reffering to ourselves as our online personalities?!:eek: :D

Then Bob went into Sesshomaru's bar and came across Merry and Pippin. They had a pint of ale each.

[Feanorian]

appearantly they had had quite a few more then just one pint, they had to be rushed to the nearest hospital to have their stomachs pumped.....bob was the nurse!?!?!

[BlackCaptain]

and his name was changed to Bob lord fauker. He had to go meet Elgee's parents. they were mean. almost as mean as BC:eek: Then BC slapped himself for reffering to himself in the third person again

[HLGStrider]

Elgee's parents wanted to discuss crocodile Dundee with Bob. This was a controversial subject in Arnor, but as they were in Gondor everything was cool. Then there was a spacial disruption and Enterprise crashed and Trip got to have another scene with his shirt off. ..they must think it increases ratings, but really, I don't see how.

[Turin]

But Bob was angry at BC for stealing his yellowish-green colored underwear and made him change his avatar.

[Lantarion]

My god I hate this thread.. :p

[Turin]

An off subject post by a mod:eek: :confused:;).

[Lantarion]

A whole thread that's off any topic from anything anywhere ever! :o :confused: ;)

[HLGStrider]

To appease Lanty Elgee made a new rule: NO POSTS UNDER THREE SENTENCES!

Then Bob was arrested for fraudulent avatar behavior and sent to prison on Mars. The little green men thought he was a god and freed him from his cage. Then he ordered a chocolate malted.

[Turin]

Then Bob's malt became mad and started attacking the little green men. But there were too many and they overpowered it and forced it into exile. Bob felt sorry for it and killed Nom for bringing up the idea for abolishing the post count.

[Lifeling]

Suddenly the greatest hero of them all swooped down from out of nowhere. Hobbitman! Him and his partner HobbitBoy Came soaring down out of the groud right at the rampaging malt. They set their Buzz lightyear blasters, and blew the malt to kingdom come. Then thy reached in their pockets... and dissapeared.

[HLGStrider]

Bob gasped in horror and began to search for them. He lifted up a near by manhole cover. "HELLO IN THERE!" he called out. A greenish sickly looking hand with pink nail polish reached out and pulled him in!

[Ithrynluin]

This thread is totally devoid of any purpose. It will be closed and archived in a week, so finish up please.

[HLGStrider]

I urge you to reconsider. It may not reach your standard, but it is a popular thread that does no harm. It doesn't take up that much memory or whatever this site uses. It's just a little, cute thing, and it is fun!

[Feanorian]

Ith, why all the change? This is a very nice and yes even as Elgee said it, cute thread. All these changes are very unsettiling. I second Elgee, in urging you to reconsider closing this thread.