Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[Ithrynluin]

Sorry, guys, but the mods have unanimously decided that this thread has graced the forum for too long. I'll let it stick around while it still has some life to it,....

[Feanorian]

I'll let it stick around while it still has some life to it,....

No one fights for something lingering at death, o well......

[HLGStrider]

We need a good ending, in that case, but I don't have any ideas. . .I want a happy ending for Bob! With either lots of money or a true love (lots of money sounds less sappy).

[Estrella]

and so Bob moved to mars... the martians loved him, and he was soon crowned the king. He fell in love with a lovely martian named ^%&%&^, and they married, and had many lovely martian children.

The End!

not fairr!:confused:

[Feanorian]

The next morning Bob woke up, stepped out of bed, and fell through a hole in his floor... Down and down and down he fell... He fell for three hours straight, which caused him to miss his breakfast. Finally he landed... BOOM!!! He looked up. Far above him was the pinpoint of light... the hole he'd fallen from.

He was back to where he had started





Yes it goes on and on my friends...........

[BlackCaptain]

Then everyone revolted against the evil Mods and TTF was taken over by BC!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!:eek: :D

[BlackCaptain]

I wonder why the Mods don't let us have any fun on this forum...
What's the harm in keeping it? We don't have a post count anymore, so how can it be spamming? And when's the last time you've seen a spammer in this thread?

With all the things you mods have done to try and stop spamming I think you've turned this from a forum to a Tolkien Research Board.

I'm totaly against this desicion and think there should be a vote with those who don't have the mindset of Mods.

Oops... I double posted. I supose I'll get spamming points now:rolleyes:

[Ithrynluin]

Look around BC, where are you not allowed to have fun? Look how many threads of that sort there are all over the place, and then come back and tell me you've got a reason to complain. Okay?

This thread is allowed to go on while it still has some life to it. Then it will get deleted, like almost every other pointless thread that has served its purpose of having fun.

And one other thing, the concept of spamming still exists despite the removal of the post count.

[BlackCaptain]

Touche on the first point... But then what makes this thread different from the other ones? Just because it's pointless? Maybe that's why it's one of the longest lasting threads.. because it is pointless

I find it hard for this thread to run out of life. It was meant to never die, because it is pointless.

Then why are you deleting this thread? When's the last time you've seen a spammer in here? It's pretty much just 5 people talking to themselves in the third person. Why are you deleting this thread? I dont think because it's without a purpose is a good reason. If a thread without a purpose is the most active thread in TTF, maybe we should... I dont know... keep it?

[HLGStrider]

I'd say it is more than five people . ..we've had many posters over time, and many people who wander in and out.

But I think the best thing to do with it now is just keep it alive so that he doesnt' delete it and not argue on it.

The TTF was in the fell hands of BC! Only one man had the capability to save it. That man was of course. . .BOB! The world's only super-cashier!

Yes, I said cashier.

[Ithrynluin]

Feanorian, I am not contradicting myself. I changed my mind from 'deleting it right now' to 'letting it last as long as it does and then removing it'.

And popularity does not equal quality, nor is length a deciding factor of what stays and what doesn't after it has fallen out of use.

If a thread without a purpose is the most active thread in TTF, maybe we should... I dont know... keep it?

That's...rather sad. Luckily the mods are not using that as their standard of what stays and what goes, or this forum would long ago have lost the 'Tolkien' from its name.

[HLGStrider]

Can we delete all the arguement posts then, and just keep going as we were doing?

[Feanorian]

Can we delete all the arguement posts then, and just keep going as we were doing?

Done.


Bob started throwing coins at BC he was so distracted by all the money/metal getting thrown at him he went to pick it up and Hall the kicker from the redskins kicked BC back to the lands of polish sausage from which he came.

[HLGStrider]

He landed on the Pizza Girl who grew confused and put German Sausage on the Pizza when she knew very well the customer wanted Italian Sausage, the type that looks like hamburger and is spicey.

The girl went after Bob with a knife but stopped when she noticed he had such cute shoes!

[Feanorian]

The girl went after Bob with a knife but stopped when she noticed he had such cute shoes!

Which were Burberry of course. Bob could not remember the last he'd been to England (probably somewhere in those pages). But he figured they were getting rid of if it meant his life. The girl was so touched she began to cry and talk about how she had no friends. bob gave her advice and all of the people around them shouted "hes a genious" and he got his own show which did so well Dr. Phil was no longer on TV.

[Turin]

And Bob was happy, for a while at least. But then Legolas came in and started shooting everyone with paper arrows that where too big to eat! But Bob escaped and ran to polly the parrot's house to recover, little did Bob know that...

[BlackCaptain]

Legolas was waiting for him there eating Kielbassa! Him and BC revealed their "Master Plan" to take over the world! Super cute-ness to seduce the masses, super evil-ness to take them over! It was a full proof plan! The only catch was...

[HLGStrider]

Elgee! Who was so super cute she was over shadowing all their evil plans. She joined with the supreme Strider-Guy who was really tall and together they overshadowed quite a bit.

[BlackCaptain]

And BC gathered his armies as did Elgee, and they went to war. BC was away in his fortress in California while Elgee was in her fortresses in New York. When every single member of the armies were dead BC and Elgee met eachother in the middle of the Great Plains and battled until both of them died. They came back to life, but now Elgee was in BC'sbody and BC was in Elgees!!:eek:

[HLGStrider]

And Bob was in the Body of James Bond. . .James Bond was in the body of a Bond Girl, and the Bond girl was in Bob's body. . .No one was happy.

[Feanorian]

Feanor sat back and laughed at all this foolish body swopping. And then pointed out that the mods are on a rampage and this story will probably get shut down indefinitly sooner rather then later.

[BlackCaptain]

And BC agreed. He then called out:
"Where is the council of 9 when you need it most?!"

[HLGStrider]

"I'm in BC's body, so I can't very well do anything about it!" Elgee snapped. "Though I seriously don't know if that is in my power level even if I weren't. . ."

[Feanorian]

Feanor let out a terrible cry "OH NO WE HAVE BEEN
MOVED TO STUFF AND BOTHER......*in sad grieving voice* so tiny, so insignificant, so unbeautiful.......*sobs*

[BlackCaptain]

And BC ... er... Elgee let out a terrible cry!

Bob will pay for this!!

Fortunately for Bob he was at the Green Dragon Inn sipping some sort of drink that was made out of...

[Estrella]

buttons! but very special buttons made from tofu ( very healthy) but bob did not want healthy,so he called teh bartender over and said...

[HLGStrider]

"You know I can't really be bothered with this stuff. I have a galaxy to save. Now go fetch me my radioactive vitamenized bananas and be quick about it, shorty."

[Turin]

Are we not supposed to post here anymore or something?

But the bananas were too much for Bob to carry and he ate most of them to lighten the load, but what Bob didn't know was that...

[HLGStrider]

the bannanas were the fourth biggest cause of hepatitis A that side of New Zealand. . .and we're talking the far side of New Zealand. ..also they automatically changed whoever ate them into a Wombat with the genes of a camel and forced that person to live off calzone and go "BEEP BEEP BEEP" everytime Sputnik flew over. . .

But other than that they were quite tasty.

[BlackCaptain]

And they were all magicaly transported back to the begining of the story in Bob's house in a calm suburb in a calm region of the world.

Then BC ate it all and people were mad.

And they were all magicaly transported back to the begining of the story in Bob's house in a calm suburb in a calm region of the world.

[HLGStrider]

Which was soon to become a lot less calm because the evil Dr. DeathWalker was dosing the tap water with Caffine. Only Bob, the owner of a Britta Filter, could save the world.

[Turin]

But Bob was too afraid so he hid in the corn field in order to escape, but he didn't know who else was lurking there...

[HLGStrider]

Dr. Suess!

He'd brought along a wocket who wanted to live in Bob's pocket and a noothbrush for Bob's toothbrush. Poor Bob also did not know about the Zall scooting down the hall. . .he was in for a SHOCK!

[BlackCaptain]

And BC saved the story from the emptiness of Page 3 of Stuff and Bother!

Only to find out that his house has been...

[Nimawae's hope]

....ransacked by evil-tempered squirrels in search of.......

[Turin]

I think you posted twice.

But BC was overcome by their numbers and he fled to the evil fortress of....

[HLGStrider]

Nuttinghall where squirrels all live in peace with their surroundings. . .except on any day of the week containing the letter r. On days of the week containing the letter r they are quite violent. And they also get violent any time anyone watches a John Cusack movie. Unfortunately, Bob had brought along DVD's of American Sweet hearts, Better of Dead, and Runaway Jury, and it was also Thursday, so Bob was in trouble.

[Nimawae's hope]

Bob was in a lot of trouble. The first thing those squirrels did was to seize and destroy Bob's DVDs. They felt better after that, but they were still insane, because everyone knows that Thursday is the second worst day of the week--at least to squirrels. So, they stole all of last Christmas's pistachio nuts and burnt Bob's house to the ground.

[HLGStrider]

The insurance investigators, lead for some odd reason by Catherine Zeta-Jones, came after Bob and accused him of plotting against Zorro. Bob begged for mercy. He didn't know that if they knew his true identity, as Mr. X, they would give him a plum pudding.

[Nimawae's hope]

Not knowing how else to get away from the evil insurance investigators, Bob decided that he really ought to become a hermit. No one could bother him that way. So he moved out to the middle of..............

[HLGStrider]

Westchester Arizona, a place that may or may not exist. Because no one was sure if it existed or not, Bob was in limbo. . .in fact he won the Westchester Limbo contest sixty times in a row and was named Speghetti Spined Bobby, but that's another story. Right now I'd like to talk about the Democratic Caucus. . .

[Nimawae's hope]

.....which is a nightmare in and of itself. The mere mention of it would put Bob into a tizzy, which of course Tizzy did not like. So, she kicked him out of her, causing great panic to........

[HLGStrider]

Slobadon Milosovic. . .who was already in a bad mood because Elgee couldn't spell his name. He started to meditate with hopes of contacting Joseph Stalin for a weather report. When Bob discovered this he knew he had to stop him. . .and only with the help of the magic hole puncher.

[Turin]

But to Bob's dismay, it was on vacation! Bob had to ask the muffin man for help, who was more than happy to oblige. But what they didn't know was that...

[Nimawae's hope]

.....the muffin man was in league with the Dark Lord Sonic, who wanted the onion ring of power so that the magic hole puncher could be destroyed and Lord Sonic could rule the world. Unfortunately, Bob didn't have a clue. If he wasn't careful, he was going to.........

[Turin]

Be eaten by the evil computer modem! The modem was angry because he was outdated and only ran at 21.5 KBPS! Bob could understand why he was angry but it wasn't enough to...

[HLGStrider]

try and understand. He had to BE the magic hole puncher. He sat down to mediatate himself into one but instead meditated himself into a large giraffe.

The owner of the giraffe kicked him out because he was too young to reside in a giraffe, only being 3,008 years old.

[Nimawae's hope]

Bob was extremely embarrassed about his mistake, so he wasn't too sure that he wanted to try meditating anymore. That blasted magic hole puncher was for too elusive to meditate on. Thus, he stuck the evil little contraption in his pocket, wondering what to do next. He tried listening to what his heart told him, but he wasn't getting any feed back. Instead he listened to his stomach....now that told him something.

[HLGStrider]

It told him that he was to go to the Eiffle Tower with Angelina Jolie and there he was to push her off. It would be ok because she'd land on Jacque Chirac and he would carry her off into the clouds and open a little coffee shop.

[Nimawae's hope]

But at least Jolie would no longer punish the world with an annoying personality, and Jaques Chirac would probably be a very happy man. Their coffee shop would get no customers because the coffee tasted like mud....but who cared? So Bob followed the impulse of his stomach, and was much pleased with his accomplishment. However, he had to found the French police, because.........

[HLGStrider]

for some odd reason they didn't believe his story and thought he'd done away with Chirac.

He was sentenced to hard labor in a champagne factory. Everything was miserable until a tank burst and left the whole factory swimming in the stuff.

[Nimawae's hope]

This gave Bob a chance to not only get thoroughly drunk, but also to escape from the terrible work at the champagne factory. Suddenly free, he fled from France as quickly as possible. But not before a fuzzy koala caught up with Bob and insisted on fleeing the country with him. Otherwise, he would turn Bob in to the authorities.

[HLGStrider]

The Koala was an international jewel theif by the name of the Black Spaniel. . .wanted all over the world for crashing innocent rpg'ers computers.

[Legolas Lewis]

As he left Calais on a ferry carrying the thief in a bag, he noticed two dark sinister men watching him from across the cafe.
One of them whispered to his friend with a smirk on his face. The other pulled off his sunglasses and reached into his jacket and pulled out...

[Lantarion]

It's alive.. IT'S ALIVE!!!! :eek:

[Nimawae's hope]

.....he cried as he pulled out the hideous creature that was holding onto his hand with his teeth.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

The guy went crazy and jumped screaming overboard the Koala Black Spaniel tightly on his hand.
O oh, Bob said and rushed after them.
There was a big "splash" when he landed on the water on his stomach and almost fainted. As he opened his eyes on the surface again he saw the man in black and the koala surface just a few meters away from him. And behind them....a big fin rapidly coming towards them....
Eeeeiaahhsrrsshh..he started to scream..

[Nimawae's hope]

It's the rabid DOLPHIN!!! It's going to eat me!! The man in black was terrified, but Bob was not in the least bit concerned because he had a rabid dolphin protection suit on. Bob wondered absent-mindedly if he ought to save the koala or the man.....hmmmmmm.

[Valdarmyr]

Should he save the koala or the man?

Neither! Bob decided to "Save the Clocktower!" Then he played guitar with Michael J. Fox and The Pinheads, and Jennifer kept going on and on about her crush on Legolas, and Bob bought everybody a pint--of Ovaltine, because this is a family website--and Bob burped this humongous disgusting belch, and the explosion sent him Back to the Future.

[Ireth Telrúnya]

"It's full of stars!" he screamed and was thrown to his seat when the stars suddenly turned into white stripes and then he learned he couldn't move.
But his whole body was on the move away from the seat since he wasn't strapped onto it. Next thing he knew he was hanging onto the seat with all he got his feet up in the air..."eewwwghrh...mmy...brains are going in..to my feeet!!" he said with some effort. This DeLorean spaceship was yet speeding up in velocity.
This lasted for a half a minute, but to Bob it felt like hours. Then the speed started subsiding gradually and Bob saw a huge planet fill the screen.
I'm glad this baby hold it together he thought about the ship...
Suddenly Bob saw the two men in black sitting right behind him with the Koala
an older man in white cloak further back the ship.
"Who are you?" He asked

[pipin]

we are aliens fromthe planet midlle earth and we want you tocome help us with a very inportent task invalving a very nasty charecter named Gollum.

The first man said my name is frodo and this is...

[HLGStrider]

. . .Bozzo the Clown!"


The man immediately threw off his cape and started to do some cat juggling. He was just as immediately mobbed by animal right's activists led by Steve Martin who hit him over the head with a hole puncher. Bob stood aghast at this new development. Little did he know that Bozzo's cats were actually secret agents from Zurg's evil fortress in Kalamazoo who wanted to take over the world by playing long forgotten "Eagles" music.

[Turin]

But his plan failed because nobody had ever heard the Eagles in the first place! Bob was forced to take off his dirty socks and replace them with loafs of bread. These where especially comfortable when he looked in the mirror.

[Tinuvien21]

But the only problem was when he got really hungry.

[HLGStrider]

Bob quickly created the toe jam sandwich and was about to devour his feet when someone decided to put Bob in a blender and mix him up with a strawberry banana smoothie. Bob began to weep.

"No! No! Anything but strawberry banana! Strawberry Kiwi! Lemon lime! Berry Blend! Orange Mango! But not strawberry banana!"

[Celebthôl]

To hell with it! I wanna post again! :D (Thanks Elgee for the link!!)

After hearing Bob spout out the phrase:

"No! No! Anything but strawberry banana! Strawberry Kiwi! Lemon lime! Berry Blend! Orange Mango! But not strawberry banana!"

Someone decided not to try to work it out, but rather to turn the blender on, however, they had not put the lid on, so Bob (along with the rest of the contents of the blender) came flying out and Bob began to fall...again...(IT HAD TO BE DONE!!!)

[HLGStrider]

Bob fell up. He fell sideways. He fell down again.

"Mommy!" he whined.

"Yes, sonny boy?" an echoey voice said from somewhere in the void where he was falling.

"Mommy? MOMMY!" Bob gasped. "Don't leave me Mommy!"

"Never again, sonny boy. . .never again."

With that Bob landed in a big tub of chocolate chip cookie dough.

[Turin]

Not knowing that the chocolate chip cookie dough actually belonged to the evil giant of asparagus who was out for revenge.

[HLGStrider]

Bob, unaware that he was being rude, gobbled up all the dough. He was still there like a bloated tick, too fat to even move a limb, when the evil asparagus arose and glowered down at him. Bob was frightened, but the best he could do was roll away. He tried to roll but the Asparagus gave him a kick and he rolled down a rabbit hole and got stuck.


"It comes of not having front doors big enough," he said.

[Ronaldinho]

The evil Asparagus bellowed with laughter; it's demonic cackle echoed round the cookie-dough container. Bob backed off. He was cornered...

[Hobbit-queen]

Bob felt a tiny paw grab the back of his shirt and was yanked though the tunnel of the rabbit hole. He brushed the dirt from his clothes an stared at a family of cute and fuzzy bunnies. He didn't know what to say, and just started to ask for directions out. "Um....bunny dudes, can you help me find a way out?" They just stared up at him with beady eyes and looked cute. " You're a lot of help!"
Said Bob agrily as he picked himself up. Bob suddenly heard the roar of the angry asparagus above. He spotted a far away tunnel and began to run.......

[HLGStrider]

As he ran he shed his many excess pounds which rolled off him in the form of huge drops of pinkish sweat. They formed a river which soon began to sweep the once again thin Bob off his feet and down to the sea.

He was bobbing about like a cork when he saw a butcher, a baker, and a candlestick maker.

[TheWhiteLady]

At least that was his first impression of them. As Bob bobbed (hehe) closer, he saw that, yes indeed, one man was wearing a butcher's apron, another was wearing a baker's hat, and the last was carrying a candle. Bob then doggy-paddled a little closer. They were not what he supposed at first. As it was dark, and they had only a candle, they could not see Bob, but Bob could see them. Oh, yes, he could see them quite clearly. And what he saw was truely horrifying. He saw...

[Nimawae's hope]

.....a toad-faced woman grinning evilly at him. "Well, you made the mistake of coming near me," she said. "Now you will suffer the consequences. BWAHAHAHAHA!" Bob was very confused, and he just stood there and gaped like an idiot, instead of running away as he should have. She grabbed him around the neck and dragged him into the boat.

[HLGStrider]

"Now, sir," she then drawled in a very distinguished Harvard/Atlanta/Austin/L.A. sort of accent, "It is very kind of you to drop in to listen to my lecture on lunar diversity among garden gnomes. I think we all know and agree that lunar diversity is a very important issue in this day and age and that without lunar diversity our lives would be a great deal gloomier and grimmer. Yes, in fact, pardon the cliche, lunar diversity creates a great deal of the spice of life we come to love and know and know and love. Ha ha ha ha. . .Uh-hem. As I'm sure you, an educated scholar, know, lunar diversity was first discovered in nineteen-ten by Freedriech Von Schnhot. . ."

[Elbereth]

In the midst of the woman's speech, Bob let out a loud resounding snore and woke up abruptly.

"Um..huh? Were you saying something?" Bob said with a big yawn. He then replied abruptly, "Dang! That was good sleeping, I haven't had such good sleeping in years."

And with that Bob shook hands with the Toad faced woman, thanked her kindly and cheerfully swam away.

However when he reached the shore, Bob was surprised to find.....

[Nimawae's hope]

the Toad-faced woman had beat him there. She looked very grim. "You left in the middle of my speech. No one does that to me and gets away with it. I am the all-powerful ________. I will be obeyed by the miserable dirt people that surround me everyday. You shall pay....I shall put you in......"

[HLGStrider]

Solitary Confinement with SIXTY-THREE OTHER PEOPLE!"

Bob blinked.

"How does that work?" he asked.

"Don't question me!" she said. "I was not made to be questioned. I was made to be obeyed!"

At that moment a lightening bolt from heaven struck, turning her into a tree frog and she began to hop up and down in indignation while Bob slowly made his exit, determined to find the Gauntlet of Terror, only through which can the Kingdom of Bliss be reached.

[TheWhiteLady]

"Hmmm... the Gauntlet of Terror. What a bloody terrible name. Why would anyone name something so beautiful with such a bleeding horrible name?" Bob said to himself.

"Even beautiful things can be evil." someone said from behind Bob.

Bob spun around to see who it was. He didn't see anyone.

"And even ugly things can be good." came the voice again.

This time Bob saw who was speaking. It was a fox, but not just any fox. It was the dullest, grungiest, most dilapitated fox Bob had ever seen.

"Uhhh... Did you just talk?" Bob said to the fox.

"Very good monkey." said the fox.

"No need to be rude." replied Bob.

"Sorry," said the fox. "I don't see too many of your kind on this side of the Sea of Reason. Did you like the trick I pulled on the hag? She's always trying to torture people with her poetry. It's really quite terrible. I saw one poor chap get an earful once. He just went 'poof' into a pile of ashes, and then..."

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Mr. ...er... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?"

The fox blinked very slowly in annoyance, and then his face brightened. As much as a fox's face can, that is. "My name is...

[Nimawae's hope]

...Mr. Winkybok of Gurbletygook. Lovely name isn't it? I'm sure you have heard of me before?" The fox beamed at him.

"Err....sorry, no. I've never heard of you. Should I have?"

The fox became angry. "You really are a monkey. But I was sent to help you, so come along."

[Elbereth]

And along they went, both Fox and Bob...through a dank dark forrest, across a rocky hill, down a narrow path, over a wide green grassy plain, across a fifty mile bridge, up a slippery slope and under a draw bridge in which they encountered an old wrinkled troll who unfortunately was cursed with a lisp.

[Nimawae's hope]

"Tho," the troll said in a poor attempt to sound menacing. "thomeone dares to invade my perthonal thpathe? You thall now thuffer."

"Er...how's that?" said Bob.
"Nevermind," the Fox told him. He then stepped up to the Troll with a lisp and gave his rather large nose a very hard flick.

[HLGStrider]

"My lisp!" the delighted troll cried out. "You cured it! You cured it! Johnny! Daisy-Poo! Big Bubba! This man just cured my lisp! HE CURED IT!"

The troll's monsterous friends came running.

"Doesth it reallyth worsk?" they all asked. Bob was temporarily employed as a troll speach therapist. The Fox was somewhat annoyed by the delay. He made this clear to Bob by. . .

[HobbitGirl]

...by viciously mauling the first bunny-rabbit he saw, pinning a sign labled, "YOUR FACE" to it, and setting it down by Bob's feet with a darkly meaningful look.

Bob was a little dense and wasn't quite getting the idea. So the fox decided to further drop a subtle hint by...

[HLGStrider]

gnawing off all of Bob's toenails and growling menacingly to the tune of Hawaii Five O.

Bob backed up slowly. It wasn't that he wasn't ready to continue the journey. His delay among the troll people was becoming a trial for him as well. After all, he really wanted to open up his own coffee shop in Van Ives. That was all he wanted. That wasn't too much to ask for. Was it? WAS it?

"Definitely too much to ask for," said the fox, as he proceded to toss the wrappers from his valentines candy at Bob. Bob glanced at the wrappers and realized there was a woman in the fox's life, a woman he had never seen fit to introduce Bob too. Right then Bob became obsessed with finding out who this little vixen was.

[HobbitGirl]

Unfortunately for Bob, the vixen who was in love with Mr. Fox didn't want to be obsessed with. She didn't want to be found, rather. She was a secret agent for the Russian government and former KGB, comrade.

So when she got wind of Bob being obsessed with finding out who she was (yes, she had telepathic informants, wut), she sent one of her underlings to 'silence' Bob.

Or rather, she send five underlings, who had already set themselves up in strategic, hidden sniping points before Mr. Fox had flung the final candy wrapper at Bob.

"And he just wants to open up a coffee shop in Van Ives," chuckled one comrade to another, mounting his scope on top of his sniper rifle as the other took aim.

[HLGStrider]

Unfortunately for him, the fox sighted the sniper and was seized with the compulsion to complete his life long dream . . . the dream of perfecting a death defying magic trick. The dream of catching a bullet between his teeth. Bob watched in horror as his friend leapt into the air and landed dead. He then began to snack on the left over candy.

[HobbitGirl]

Once he had satisfied his gluttonous desires for chocolate, Bob fell to his knees before the body of his fallen fox friend, surrendering to Fate in a 'STELLAAA!' position. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" he cried to the heavens. "DO NOT WANT!!"

And now that he was on a sugar high, it was Rambo time. Bob pulled a conveniently-placed helicopter gatling gun out from behind a bush, and took aim with a crazed grin.

[HLGStrider]

Unfortunately for him, the last owner of this gun had left it loaded with boiled, sticky rice rather than bullets. Fortunately, the rice got into the eyes of his attackers and he managed to make his escape while they were staggering about blinded.

[Mike]

He eventually came to an ancient altar stacked with pancakes and wondered what exactly they were for. At that moment, several strangely tall and thin creatures came out and started pouring syrup on the pancakes, seemingly oblivious to his presence. Then their slow, melodious chanting began, and Bob watched in awe as they made homage to the great pancake God. At this point, Bob's mouth was watering with such force he snuck to the altar and attempted to snatch one of the pancakes without arousing the notice of these strange creatures.

[HobbitGirl]

"FIEND!!" shrieked one of the Pancake Priests as they caught Bob red-handed in his pancake pilfering. "BLASPHEMER!! MAY THE SYRUP SMITE THEE!!"

"Yeep!" yelped the startled Bob through a mouthful of pancake. But rather than flee in terror like a startled rabbit, Bob stood where he was, rooted to the spot by the heavenly taste of the Holy Pancakes. He continued to rip off bits of pancakey goodness with syrup-sticky hands and shove them into his mouth.

[HLGStrider]

"To the juice with him!" yelled out one of the creatures. Two more creatures emerged from the woods pulling a cart, on top of which was a large glass of orange juice. Bob was incredibily alergic to citrus. Just the smell of it was enough to send him into a bloody rage while his face and hands swelled to three times their natural size. As he began to go into anaphylactic shock the creatures stared in horror.
"It is a demon! A waffle demon!"