Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[Tar-Ancalime]

then the harrison fords attack arwen and bob and take them prisoner...

[Elbereth]

In prison Bob and Arwen are forced to listen to Jack Black and his band Tenacious D perform shirtless. Arwen is disgusted by this but Bob becomes increasingly intrigued. By the end of the performance...Bob jumps up on stage and joins Jack Black in a rocking performance of "Kielbasa"...However, Bob sings so horribly out of tune that the Harrison Fords are forced to shoot him with a tranquilizer gun to shut him up...

[Nenya Evenstar]

Then the Harrison Fords carry Bob off to the White House where he meets Elgee as the new president. She has got about 50,000 cats roaming free about the place, and the only thing she will say to politicians is, "Meoooooow!" Bob passes out from the terrifying happenings and wonders where in the hec the Harrison Fords ended up. Only when he wakes up does he find them - in downtown D.C. getting a manicure!

[Tar-Ancalime]

than Usama bin Laden kidnaps Bob, arwen, the cats, Harrison ford gang and elgee.

[HLGStrider]

Elgee's cats attack with vengeance. She then asks Harrison Ford to be her vice president just in case Air Force One is ever taken by the evil Russian.s

[Samwise_hero]

Harrison Ford hastily agrees. A week later they are on their first flight on Air force One together when it is taken over by Darth Vadar. The plane suddenly goes into a tail spin heading straight for the ocean. As the plane hits the water a faint cry is heard, I LOVE YOU HARRISON!
(Sorry Elgee didn't mean to send you into the ocean)
Suddenly Elgee grows a tail and can breathe under water. elgee is a merperson!!! But sadly Harrison Ford dies AGAIN!.........In the underwater paradise, under the water, there is a merman who looks just like Aragorn.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but than they wake up and they're still in the Gap at rohan, and bob is picking out more nighties for arwen

[Nenya Evenstar]

Bob picks up a very odd purple one. Attatched to the straps is a hot pink horse head. He holds it up to Arwen and coos, "ohhhhhh, that's perfect!" Arwen buys it and decides to leave the rest of her $100 for later. The two then leave the Gap of Rohan and accidentally fall into a time warp and are warped back to the year 1985. "1885!!" screams Bob. "NO NO NO NO!" The two of them immediately run into Doc, who is about to be shot by Biff Tannen. Biff sees Arwen, who has put on the horse nighty, and runs away frightened to death (yes, literally, to death), and Doc falls head over heals in love with Arwen and shoots Clara with a gun. Time is about to colapse when...

[Elbereth]

A flying Delorien screeches through the air and lands...Marty gets out and tells Doc that he is going to die within 24 hours and that the killer was going to be some guy named Bob....

[Nenya Evenstar]

Doc's eyes grow wide. "Great Scott!" he exclaims in a high, squeaky voice. He turns and looks at Bob who is looking quite scared. "Well," says Doc, "let's put him in the Dolorean and ship him to the year 1776."

"Doc!" exclaims Marty, "that won't work! If we ship him there we won't be able to get back to the future ourselves - besides it'll be raining."

"You're right Marty," squeaks Doc, grabbing a curling iron and beginning to curl his hair. He then pulls out a gun and shoots Bob. Arwen runs howling.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Arwen cradles the dead bob in her arms and weeps

[Nenya Evenstar]

Doc becomes jealous of the dead Bob (oh, no, he died - again!) and shoots Arwen, and Arwen finds herself in an insurance agency signing up for "life" insurance for Bob who is sitting next to her smiling and sucking on a blue sucker.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Why is this turning out the same way it did when I was with that pervy hobbit fanicer aragorn. I mean I began to do life insurance when he started chasing wraits around." arwen mumbles...she realizes...she belongs with Glorifindel and says,"Bob ur sweet and all but I belong with my own kind. Bye" and arwen leaves

[Nenya Evenstar]

Bob sits down and cries. Suddenly he remembers his pink bunny slippers. Where are they? It has been such a long time since he has seen them and he knows that they will be a comfort to him if he can find them.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than saruman asks bob to marry him

[Nenya Evenstar]

Bob thinks about it for a moment and then decides that since no one else wants him he might as well do it. "Yes I'd love too!" he tells the wizard.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then saruman puts bob in a full body bind and bob says,"wait...I've changed my mind." SAruman gave him a chilling look and said,"Frisky are we!"....

[Nenya Evenstar]

And Bob passes out, and is very close to dying (again) when Saruman says "Yeah, baby, yeah!" and dumps Bob into a pot of boiling water.

[HLGStrider]

Arwen and Glorfindel, Arwen in a two piece, yellow polka dot, bathing suit jump in yelling "GECUZZI!!!"
Elgee surfaces in the water singing "Under the sea..."

[Elbereth]

Then three cats pop up behind Elgee, dressed in long sequined dresses and beehive hairdo's and join her in the chorus of "Under the sea"...and then the cats start singing old motown tunes as Elgee splashes in the Jacuzzi in the rhythm of the music.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Glorfindel stares at the spectacle in front of him with eyes as big as teacups. He is laughing - not outside but inside, and his laughter is not coming out through his mouth. The result is a hilarious mix of contortionous movements and gymnastics.

[HLGStrider]

Elgee's cats pull Glorfindel under water as they sing a new rendition of an old classic... G L O R F I N D E L... GLORIA-FINDEL!!! I'M GONNA SHOUT ALL NIGHT... GLORIA-FINDEL

They go on tour... Elgee's tail falls off and she grabs a barrel by way of clothing... she slinks away to hide

[Tar-Ancalime]

than bob dies

[HLGStrider]

and Elgee steels Arwen's purple nighty.

Bob is burried in proper ceremony in the Barrows... a wight shows up. "This is my barrow," he frowns.
"Can't I just barrow it for a little while?" asks Bob's corpse...


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's bad...

[Nenya Evenstar]

LOL that was bad....

The Barrow Wight puts Bob in a wheel barrow and barrows him all the way to the Sea of Rhun and dumps him in.

[HLGStrider]

He is rescued by a familiar winged maiden from the foul clutches of a large mouth bass who wished to store him in a small mouth canning jar...

Bob lives on pickles and fruit for the next year.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and suddenly 10,000,000,000 years later finds himself spinning into a paradoxacol demension where gigantic walking flowerpots operated in a cruel despotisimal dictatorship

[Nenya Evenstar]

"Oh, I'm so sleepy!" yawned Bob as the flower pots arrested him for having the name "Bob". "I've lived such a long time and died so many times that I've totally lost track of whether I'm alive or dead!" A beautiful purple fish nodded sympathetically.

[HLGStrider]

"If you wish we can transform you into a giant sand crab?" the fish states. "Would you like that?"
"Might as well try it..." Bob sighed. He became a giant sand crab and joined Elgee under the sea with Ariel...

OOC: Despotic flower pots? He he he...:) genius... arrested for the name Bob... ha ha ha... brilliant.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:what can I say...I'm insanely genius.

However the fish makes a critical error and Bob finds himself in the middle of the motion picture Cleopatera with Elizabeth Taylor

[Nenya Evenstar]

OOC: You never know what may come out of my insane mind, though I make no claims of brilliancy myself...

IC:
Suddenly someone points a remote control at the TV screen, and the motion picture starts to fast-forward. Everything is going insanely fast, and Bob cannot even begin to think - he is just pushed on by the remote control. Then he sprouts an antenna out of his head and turns into a little remote control racecar going round and round a dirt track.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than is dressed like a flapper and is doing the charleston. Arwen sees bob while she is out with glorfindel...bob and arwen make eye contact. Bob leaves immeaditly and goes to the make out room and sees Arwen thier without glorifindel...

[Nenya Evenstar]

and then the ceiling falls down, and a big rubber ducky emerges from the rubble.

[HLGStrider]

Trapped inside the rubber ducky Bob makes a desperate plea for mercy. Glorfindel tries to cut his head off in response, but Bob is transformed by the fish into a pancake... He then spends fifty years as a man-hole cover.

[Nenya Evenstar]

By the time the fifty years are up, Bob is so covered with mud and grime, that he can barely breath, and he doesn't even look like a pancake anymore! So he goes into a car wash to try to wash himself off and succeeds in washing himself down the drain. He is falling, falling, apart and down - yes down again.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Glorfindel was exhasparated from the search of bob, went around the world,and one fateful day with glorifindel right in front of him. and bob became bob form again....but with a great amount of luck...he was changed into a figure of Legolas

[HLGStrider]

and immediately attacked by a thousand, screaming, teenage girls....

[Nenya Evenstar]

who then tried to freeze him to preserve him as an idol.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but luckily he changes into Gimli...and the girls dump him in the river siene...

[Nenya Evenstar]

where he promptly turns back into Legolas again and is chased down the river by the many girls, who are all wearing purple bikinis.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than a strange freakish girl name Alysca binds Legolas and takes him hostage in her room where she forces him to do her math homework

[HLGStrider]

"SAVE ME!!! " Bob begs... then a tall, dark haired guy does Bob's math and sets him free in return for a copy of the new Command and Conquer game... Bob leaves the guy to his computer game and goes home and gets in bed.

[Tar-Ancalime]

however still looking like legolas he wakes up the folowing morning and his house is surrounded by thousands of screaming girls

[HLGStrider]

He throws his bunny slippers at them then jumps through the hole in his floor.... landing in Arwen's arms... of course, she thinks he is Orlando Bloom and wants his autograph. Bob autographs her Yellow pokka dot bikini and continues on his way through the land of the pants eating plants.

[Tar-Ancalime]

And arwen follows him and thinking he's legolas does (wouldn't we all) than he said,"I'm not orlando bloom, I'm bob! Your old Boyfriend."

[HLGStrider]

In response she hits him over the head with a frying pan and feeds him to the plants....

[Tar-Ancalime]

Inside the plants stomach bob says,"What arwen? I love you...I would've never become a pervy hobbit fancier like aragorn...but arwen..please...please...please...please " but bob's voice fades out of all perception and bob is slowly being digested

[HLGStrider]

Aragorn and his twin sons were wandering around the land of the plants when they suddenly sight a large one with a bulge in the middle. Aragorn cuts it open to investigate and a stinky Bob falls out.
"Can we keep it?" ask the boys. Aragorn puts Bob on a leesh and feeds him Dog Food.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Bob(or orlando), is taken home and ARagorns teenage daughter insists on letting orlando (or bob) sleep in her room with her.

[HLGStrider]

She forces Bob to entertain her with Shadow Puppets all night while she listens to depressing music... Bob tries to jump out the window, but is still attached to the leesh. She has no mercy and uses him for a tether ball.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than Orlando being exahusted from the activity lies down on the bed, when he shuts his eyes and later opens them he finds himself tied to the bed and getting caressesd and petted by Aragorns daughter

[HLGStrider]

Where'd Bob go?

Then she is mobbed by all the girls in Gondor... He escapes but blunders into Tree beard who is talking to the tower of Orthanc about a date.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Orthanc replies, "Sure I'll go out with you on Friday night, but remember, on Saturday you are going to rip me to pieces." Treebeard answers, "Oh well, at least you'll know my real feelings about you.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than comes the dreaded Time warp! Where Bob is in another demension, where the world of LOTR, Harry Potter, and extremist southern baptists live in harmony.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Bob enjoys, for a while, the peace and harmony of this new demension. Then, one day, he runs into a movie director whose next project is to combine LOTR and Harry Potter into one movie with one story line. Bob freaks out, toilet papers the man's house, and runs up and down the Street of Freaktoids screaming, "No more! No more!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

and instead of helping they make jesus appear in harry potter...thus the peace slowly erodes

[Nenya Evenstar]

and the once-peaceful demension becomes a living hell in which no one can go out of his or her house without bowing down and worshiping a statue which looks like a mix of Jesus, Harry Potter, and Gandalf. Bob groans at the state of humanity and stays in his house rather than subject himself to this kind of thing.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than in the confusion Bob meets a young outcast girl who is going to be burned at the stake for being a witch. Bob rescues, Lizzie and they move toward the statue and begin to throw eggs at it.

[Nenya Evenstar]

The statue, which is some sort of animated droid, becomes angry at them, and begins chasing them up and down wherever they go. Pretty soon the chase has turned into a parade and people line the streets to see this new type of galadiator game.

[HLGStrider]

Bob and Lizzie run from the droid who chases them up Mt. Arafat where Noah is arguing with Moses about who made the bigger Biblical impact. God tries to strike them both down, but since Bob is taller by a centimeter than Charlton Heston he is instead struck by the bolt of lightening. The Droid grabs him and is shocked so badly... that...

[Nenya Evenstar]

he turns into a jar of jelly. Bob sit down and begins laughing hysterically while Lizzie bats her eyes at Moses. Moses, who is not used to this sort of treatment, does not know what to think.

[HLGStrider]

... so he runs of and joins the National Rifle Association and gets in a duel with Clint Eastwood... Clint Eastwood throws him off the top of the Eiffle tower but he lands in the Jelly of the droid so he turns out all right... not dead or anything. Lizzie then sets herself on fire and disintigrates...

[Nenya Evenstar]

and Moses decides that things would be better off that way anyway.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob is estranged at the death of Lizzie and he gets into an alchohlic depression

[HLGStrider]

So he goes into the Dragon Bar with the name much too long to type and orders a Gargle Blaster... Korhall had just had the last one, so Bob attacks Korhall who turns him into a large carp... Bob the carp is dumped into a barrel of ale and apples and fed vodka and socks by Wonko the Sane.

[Nenya Evenstar]

"Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy," is all that Bob can manage to say.

[Elbereth]

But then the effects of the Vodka and Socks hit him...and Bob breaks out in song!

"We Are the World!!! We are the Children!!! We are the ones to make a brighter day so let's start given!! There's a choice we're making...we're saving our own lives...It's true we make a better day, just you and me!!!!!
OOOOOoooohhhh HOOOooo!!!
We Are the World!!! We are the Children!!! We are the ones to make a brighter day so let's start given!! There's a choice we're making...we're saving our own lives...It's true we make a better day, just you and me!!!!!
*begins clapping... and the crowd joins in the clapping and singing*
We Are the World!!! We are the Children!!! We are the ones to make a brighter day so let's start given!! There's a choice we're making...we're saving our own lives...It's true we make a better day, just you and me!!!!!"

[HLGStrider]

Bob then falls on the floor unconscious with socks in his mouth and bannanas up his ear...

[Tar-Ancalime]

and again the Harrison Fords who now are aided by the corleone family take bob prisoner and force him to tap dance at Vito corleone's funeral

[HLGStrider]

Just when things couldn't get blacker someone hit Bob with an ink well...

[Tar-Ancalime]

that was bad elgee...that was bad

at the horrifying pun bob shudderd with fear and total peril as he cringed

[HLGStrider]

He fell into a tide pool and was carried off by an evil shrimp.

[Tar-Ancalime]

to the land of cute guys

[HLGStrider]

but since Bob wasn't cute enough and looked like the creature fromthe Black Lagoon (being somewhat over weight and covered in ink), they kicked him out. They then prepared for an invasion by the not so cute girls...

[Nenya Evenstar]

of Indeeoopolus who invaded the land and kicked all the cute guys out and left Bob in total control of the land while they fought over who would kiss him first.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then to bob's kissing misfortune...legolas, aRagorn, Frodo arrived...

[HLGStrider]

The girls all fainted so Bob kissed Legolas. He then was socked across Central park and landed atop the Statue of Liberty. This was obviously a terrorist attack, so he was arrested and sentenced to live in an overly padded cell with a giraffe, a torch singer, and Cookie Monster.

[Tar-Ancalime]

he made good friends with the cookie monster and they developed a deep physical relationship. but unbenowenst to them they while making love touched a time portal and went back in time to year 79 ad during pompei's erupiton

[HLGStrider]

OOC: Tar you are getting a little sick...

IC: Bob was blown into the air when he tried to jump into the volcano to pacify the god of the Waponi, but Meg Ryan jumped in after him. They landed ontop of Tom Hanks' trunks.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:k, i'll try to go back to evil insanity for you

ic: where they were introduced to wilson the volleyball

[HLGStrider]

Bob plays around with Wilson and then Jaws attacks and seperates the trunks, Cookie and Meg on one side Wilson and Hanks on the other... Bob is in the water with the shark.

[Tar-Ancalime]

who takes him to his master, the darkest ocean quarry man 5000! Their the darkest ocean quarry man 5000 (who for some reason is a physical combination of Dr. evil, Hitler, Stalin and Jenifer love hewitt) sets bob up with Juliet since the darkest ocean quarry man 5000 is not only master of the seas but of the necromancers as well

[HLGStrider]

However Juliet is still in morning over Leonardo Di Caprio and can't decide what time frame she is in... Leonardo Di Vinci shows up with Captain Janeway and sweeps this 5000 person of their high heels...

[Samwise_hero]

Bob finds that this is a goos time to escape........so he does, he whispers instructions to a passing moth and 10 minutes later Gwahir ( i think i spelt that wrong) turns up and sweeps him off his feet back to middle earth where gandalf is waiting to take him on a long journey. Where were they going, no one knew.............except...........

[Tar-Ancalime]

the woman in red who has eyed bob for so long

[Nenya Evenstar]

This woman in red who had eyed Bob for so long had horns growing out of her head and a wart the size of Texas on her left foot. She was trasported into the woods of North-Western U.S. and became know as Big One Foot.

[Tar-Ancalime]

where she met bob..and died landing on top of bob killing bob

[Nenya Evenstar]

whose spirit went to the land of BillyBobJoeBubbas to star as a cowboy singer singing "Home on the Rangetop Stove".

[HLGStrider]

It was a hit single. Bob could only preform during full moons however, which was a big problem. Then one night he was hit by a silver bullet and...

[Tar-Ancalime]

but being dead it passed right through his body

[Nenya Evenstar]

and hit Butch Cassidy instead.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc; you had to hurt paul newman didn't you???:p

and the sundance kid cried in agony ,"No, you..can't die...this sin't fair I can sue!" So Robert REdford sues bob for dying and letting his frend die. Bob needs a good defences attornety so he takes the lawyer for the Corleone family in Vegas, Tom Haegan

[Nenya Evenstar]

ooc: Of course! :D

Tom Haegan, however, does not meet up to Bob's expectations and, instead of defending him, prosecutes him. Bob gets convicted of a double murder - himself and Butch, and is sent away to prison for life. "How does this work?" moans Bob, "I'm not even alive, and yet I'm in prison for life?!?!"

[HLGStrider]

Peter Falk who happened to be in the same sell on account of a mishap at the local Laundromat tried to sell Bob his glass slipper collection, but then the warden threw a party in the county jail. The prison band was there and they began to wail....

IT WAS THE BLUES BROTHERS!!! They were on a mission, from God.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than as if A miracle had occured bob found that everyone expcept himself was put to sleep by the blues brothers and hopped out

[Nenya Evenstar]

So Bob ran outside to a catapult, got in the catapult, and catapulted himself to the moon. There he stayed for a long time and became known as "The man on the moon".

[Tar-Ancalime]

becasue space aliens kept him as pets

[Nenya Evenstar]

Bob was in fact enjoying his new life as a space alien pet. He was fed the choicest of tidbits, given massages almost constantly, and was allowed to do almost anything he wanted. The only drawback was that he had to go onto the moon every night which he did not like as it was very cold and boring. Also, the great big moon guacamole girl chased him around night after night until he got so tired of the same episode happening that he decided to act and change his lot in life.

[Tar-Ancalime]

to which he went into the house and demanded to be able to live inside...he used what he knew of Alienese and what he meant to say was "Let me stay inside at night", bu what he said was,"I like living out doors all the time"

[Nenya Evenstar]

to which his alien masters, thinking that he was an ungrateful wretch, kicked him out of the house and fed him to the guacamole girl who was delighted with the change.

[HLGStrider]

After all, I'm not a big fan of avacadoes myself... are you?

Then Bob got into a fight with himself playing scattagories in the girl's stomach about whether or not avacado was a vegetable. He pushed himself out her belly button. She, not very knowlegdgable about the facts of life, assumed that she had just given birth and he was her son. She wrapped him up in a baby blue blankie and rocked him to sleep to the tune of "Look for the Union Label". He then went on a campaign trail with Al Gore but came home when Al wanted him to grow a beard. He spent many sweet years at home with the Guackamoli girl.

[Nenya Evenstar]

That is until Al Gore came back and insisted sullenly that all the votes were not accounted for and that there must be a re-count! Bob made sure that he shaved every day so that Al would maybe leave him alone, but it was of no use. Al took Bob by his Minnie Mouse tie and made him recount all the votes in the U.S. by hand. Bob had no self respect or confidence in himself so he submitted and spent the next ten years counting and re-counting, each time coming up with a new number, but Al was still not satisfied and kept insisting on more re-counts.

[Tar-Ancalime]

But Bob did not stand against this Tyranny...so he got up and burned all the votes becasue of re counting them so many times!

[Nenya Evenstar]

And the United States turned into a Dictatorship led by Heath Ledger.

[Tar-Ancalime]

who decieded that free speech was so overated

[HLGStrider]

Again Bob was arrested for being named Bob. He was hung up by his toes and forced to recite the Raven... He spent the rest of the day shouting "NEVERMORE!!!"

[Nenya Evenstar]

While Bob was hanging upside down, a big black Raven flew up to him and perched on a tree branch. The Raven cocked it's head as though trying to look at Bob rightside up and said, "Meow!!!!!!!!"

[HLGStrider]

Then his contact fail out and the rubber bands on his braces popped off... it just wasn't his day.

The raven then bit him...

[Nenya Evenstar]

...on his rear and WOULDN'T LET GO!!!!!!! He just hung on and hung on, and after Bob was released from his hanging position the raven kept hanging on. Bob had a Raven hanging onto his backside for fifty plus years.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob let forth a cry, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"

[HLGStrider]

But all that did was infuriate the crows sister "Darla" and she swooped down and dive bombed Bob... Bob fled for his life into a laundromat. It was there that he bumped head first into Arwen who was starching Glorfindale's long underwear.

[Nenya Evenstar]

"You again!" She said with a smirk. Bob peered over her shoulder to see the underwear which were covered with pink hearts and had "Barbie" written across each heart. Bob rolled on the floor and laughed, but Arwen looked at his backside and the crow and said, "I wouldn't be talkin'!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than, still infatuated with Arwen he said,'Pleas Arwen! I swear I'm not a pervy hobbit fancier, I swear. I really love you. I mean why does an elfprincess as lovely as yourself wind up doing your boyfriends barbie underwear? YOu are fit for much nobler things in life."

[Nenya Evenstar]

"What, this isn't noble?" Arwen said.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"I see servants doing this job! YOu need to be out more buying silk nighties, pretty dresses and seeing high class operas"

[Nenya Evenstar]

"Oh, operas - yeah I kinda forgot about those." Arwen clears hear throat and begins a rousing Aria from the "The Marriage of Figaro" in an entirely too high of key for her. She parades about the room as though she already has on the beautiful dresses and nighties promised while squeeking in a terrible voice.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob who because of his passion for Arwen, claps and says,"You belong with me going to fancy restraunts,parties operas and shopping trips. Arwen baby I love you please run away with me!"

[Nenya Evenstar]

"Only if you where Barbie underwear!" she tells him. "Any man who does not wear Barbie underwear is not a REAL MAN!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"He's treating you like a servant arwen! why I thought barbie was for girls..sides I wear Hanes (TM). I am more manly, If you dont come with me you'll remain his servant...do you want that arwen..do you trust me." their was a moment of silence...arwen laughted a giddy laugh and said.."Ok, not to be fickle but your so much cuter than that dumb elf"

[HLGStrider]

At that Bob fainted into a tub of laundry soap. He then went out and blew his savings account on silk nighties.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Arwen, however, already had about 100 silk nighties and was not at all thrilled by the present. "You bought me MORE nighties!!!!!" She screamed. "I am sick of nighties!!!!! I want suspenders!!!!"

[HLGStrider]

Bob gave her his suspenders and his pants fell down. He was wearing superman under wear!!!

"SUPER MAN!!!" she gasped. "NOT SUPERMAN!!! DIE EVIL BOB CREATURE!!!"

[Nenya Evenstar]

Seizing the Force with both hands, Arwen zapped Bob with lightning. "Sleep, sleep, sleep! Pretty Spiderman underwear!" was all that Bob could say.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then bob woke up..it was merely a dream...and Bob hadn't bought all the silk nighties but saw,"the mirrage of figgaro" which is a mixture of the plot of Aladdin and the music of hte marruge of figgrao

[HLGStrider]

As Jasmine is singing "FIGARO FIGARO FIGARO..." the cast of the Barber of Siville attacks, wanting to claim the rights for the word Figaro for Rossini. However, no one can spell Rossini's first name so the court case is dismissed... then the lone ranger comes in and everyone realizes for the first time that his theme really belongs to some Swiss guy who shot an apple off his kid's head... That's when things get nasty...

[Tar-Ancalime]

when 100,000 communists went in a circle... and did the can-can!

[Nenya Evenstar]

With that a bunch of the free-peoples of Middle Earth come running in and began to throw beer bottles at the Communists. The Communists (who were all guys) suddenly were wearing can-can skirts and fish net tights, but they were now all soaked with beer and dancing on glass.

[HLGStrider]

The glass had an intoxicating effect and soon the Communists were sedated. They then took them to the USS Ronald Reagan and made them scrub the decks still in their can can outfits... Things got worse when Sadam Husaine...

[Nenya Evenstar]

Burst onto the deck of the ship crying, "Peace, freedom, liberty, and cat food for all!" (ooc: ugh... that was stupid!).

[Tar-Ancalime]

Where he was captured by John f. Kennedy's ghost, and Richard nixons ghost aided by the gollumites.

[HLGStrider]

They threw him over board and then Jim Carrey shot Kennedy!!!

[Tar-Ancalime]

but since it was kennedy's ghost it went right threw him, and kennedy enraged by this attack made a hateful speech for jim carrey

[Nenya Evenstar]

who had to speak it at the next Grammy Awards.

[HLGStrider]

Jim Carrey jumped off a cliff rather than face this, but he was wearing that green mask so he bounced back up and hit Bob... Bob was thrown into the gravitational pull of Pluto and went into Orbit. Captain Benjamin Sisko was returned from Deep Space 62 which Janeway and hit Bob head on.

[Aslan]

This catapulted Bob to Earth. He landed safely on a chair in a school in California. "Where am I?" Bob asked. "You are in my school for mono-tone acting." replied one of the Harrison Fords. "Would you like to join?" Bob began screaming and crying as he fell to the floor and curled up in the fetal position.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and was being tickled by the Tickle me elmo doll

[HobbitGirl]

Suddenly he was so disgusted by Tickle Me Elmo's laugh that Bob chucked him across the room, right into Han Solo's face.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and han solo took out is carbine rifle and began to shoot the tickle me elmo till he tickled no more...and Bob gave han solo a big hug for rescuing him from the evil, satanic Tickle me Elmo

[HLGStrider]

Just then Bob's old friend cookie monster showed up with Glenn Close who was now vice president. She was being pursued by five million chiwauwaus.. The little dogs were merciless and kept on yelling something about tacos...

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob saved Jar-Jar binks life...uggggg

[HLGStrider]

Glenn ordered him stoned and then forced him to watch Space Balls three hundred times over. He was saved, however, by the Chiwauwau's and Harrison Ford who had a hundred Nun's following his orders. The Nuns were warring against the evil forces of Glenn and her anti-Jar-Jar propaganda.

[Nenya Evenstar]

"Whera wesa goin'?" shouted Jar-Jar at the top of his voice.

[HLGStrider]

"We're off to see the wizard," Han replied, grabbing Leia's arm in one of his and Bob's arm in another. He then put a chiwauwau in a basket and they skipped down a yellow brick avenue.

[Nenya Evenstar]

And into the large mouth of a fly.

[HLGStrider]

Who flew with them to a giant pig sty in the clouds and there spit them onto a rotten pumpkin, containing Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater's wife... Leia and the wife got into a long involved conversation with the Chiwauwau.

[Nenya Evenstar]

While Bob and Han ate Tofu until their stomachs ached, but they seemed to have no sense and kept eating and eating until they inflated up like big balloons and floated away to Tofu-Land.

[HLGStrider]

Where they were attacked by stampeding tofu-dabeasts... The tofudabeasts tofued them. If you have never been tofued before I don't suggest it. Bob and Han ended up in the store room of a chinese restaurant.

[Nenya Evenstar]

There they were bundled up into small bags and taped up with masking tape. They were then shipped out of the Chinese restaurant to be made into Tofu themselves - an idea which did not appeal to them in the least.

[HLGStrider]

Han started to cry "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" he wept. "I HATE YOU BOB... I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN..." Then Leia picked up the package of tofu to take home for dessert. She created a Tofu sunday and fed it to Peter Peter's pet hamster, Cracus, from Columbia. There was also the trantuala, Bogata, from Venuzuela.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Unknown to Leia, the tofu which she had fed to the hampster was Han himself in tofu form, and the lucky tarantula got to eat Bob the next week. Dear me! Have you ever been digested in the stomach of a tarantula (or a hamster for that matter) in the form of tofu? Bob and Han went through such a tramatic experience especially because of all the racecars!

[HLGStrider]

It was nothing compared to the time I got caught in the dishwasher with a load of ferrets, of course, but that's a whole other story...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than in the dead of what used to be night till god sneezed and messed up the earths planetary locations, and than Sauron came with five kegs to throw a party at leia's, she immeaditly fell in love.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Sauron, however, wanted nothing to do with Leia and fed her digested tofu... which happened to be Bob and Han. :rolleyes:

[HLGStrider]

Fortunately Leia was Bolimic... (Bulimic?)... I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Down down through the toilet pipes went Han and Bob. They were in a sort of state where their minds were separate from their bodies because they did not have any bodies anymore - only tofu. They floated down the pipes in all - that water - and... Ugh... I can't go on!

[HLGStrider]

BUT YOU MUST GO ON!!! FOR MILO!!! FOR CELESTE!!! FOR THE PUPPIES!!! FOR DOGS EVERYWHERE!!!

[Nenya Evenstar]

EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! Bob felt the impact in his out-of-body state of Elgee's words. They hit him like a canon ball and he felt his very self splitting, breaking apart. I have no idea how Han fared as he was holding onto a very large brown raft. (If I must :rolleyes: .)

[HLGStrider]

He ended up in the back room of a giant kitchen in a tub of Split Pea Soup. As he was going down for the third time, someone, mistaking him for a fly, plucked him out and put him in a trash compactor.

[Nenya Evenstar]

So there was Han being spilt open and crunched by the trash compactor while his close friend (now sworn enemy) was being split apart by a scream from nowhere. Suddenly, a God came down from the planet Vulcan and anounced that it was time to make sense out of senslessness - if that made any sense.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Spike and Fae came from Cowboy Bebop aided by eddie and the the dog, who ate the pea soup with amazing furvor

[HLGStrider]

and the world blew up and the debris scattered everywhere and Vulcan and Mars were the only places left with sentient life... and the Vulcans just sat there meditating... so Bob felt pretty lonely.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Vicious, mortal and arch-enemy of Spike came to kidnap bob and hold him hostage for 1,000,000 dolars. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!

[Nenya Evenstar]

sang the Grinch, and he stole Christmas - once again!

[HobbitGirl]

But the Grinch's dog Max got in his way when he tried to push the sled over the cliff, so the Grinch threatened to tie Max to a tree. Bob overheard all of this, because he was in one of the Grinch's sacks.

[HLGStrider]

then Max, relizing Bob was up there, pushed the sled over himself.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and said... to the falling bob, "Here's lookin' at you kid."

[HLGStrider]

Then Peter Lorre skewers Max with a butcher knife and starts to roast him on a turning thing over a toasty fire of men's athletic socks. Bob lands on the fire and frees Max who, though slightly wounded, manages to make E.R. in time and is adoupted by George Cloony. Forever in debt to Bob, Max gives him a scholarship to attend Modern Dance classes at Berkley where Bob has Lorre for a partner.

[Tar-Ancalime]

:p

Than Al gore sends in Bob, faking him to be a qualified college professer on statistics so he can win the election

[Aslan]

But when Bob gets there , he finds out he's been tricked and it is really another Harrison Ford's School of Mono-tone Acting. Again, Bob falls to the floor screaming and curls up in the fetal position and wimpers.

[Tar-Ancalime]

to which rick from "Casablanca" begins to use bob and harrison ford as moving target practice for pixie sticks

[HLGStrider]

Peter Lorre attacks Rick and Ingrid Bergman who showed up for the heck of it and to hit on Bob. Then Luke Skywalkers Uncle's second cousins, brother's, sisters, goldfish's former roommae came by and asked to borrow a cup of sugar.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and when things to be getting interesting the film was shut down because the producers ran out of money, and they chose to ignore the offer they couldn't refuse.

[HLGStrider]

And so they didn't win the Oscars, and Gerald Ford never got to be president, and we lost World War Two.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and suddenly the world was seen through the perverted eyes of Lucy Mancini's and Sonny Corleone's wild escapades

[HLGStrider]

this all caused James and John Darling to throw Wendy out a window. Peter Pan caught her and then put her in a peanut butter sandwitch and fed her to Captain Hook.

Meanwhile Bob was playing checkers with Gerald Ford who was confused because he had lost us WWII without ever being president. Bob told him that it was all right and that Bob had cost the south the civil war by playing a seemingly harmless prank involving Lee's longjohns anda pair of siscors.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and than midgets who ate swords in their spare time began to tickle bob and gerald with gigantic wedding cakes

[Nenya Evenstar]

While Wendy sang, "Straws and carpets, straws and carpets!" and she died. Peter Pan married the barber and they lived happily ever after.

[LúthienTinúviel]

Except that they didn't live much longer because they overdosed on British comedy and red licorice and spasmed to death within the hour.

[Nenya Evenstar]

The midgets made Bob so extremely tipsy that he got up and pulled Gerald into the Macarena and made him dance across the roofs of Little Rock Arkansas to disturb the past self of Bill Clinton in his sleep.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than by mistake they opened the chamber of secrets

[Nenya Evenstar]

and Harry Potter came flying out in the shape of a pink butterfly!

[HLGStrider]

That was too much for Hilary who left Bill and ran for the Presidency of Cuba. Fidel Castro informed her that she could not, but she shot him with a burning, candy apple and danced away towards Havana.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and everyone did the time warp it went back to new years eve 1959 in cuba....The party was going great

[Nenya Evenstar]

and so was the hippie who lived in the van down by the river.

[HLGStrider]

Who was dancing the Cha cha with a diplomat who carried on his shoulder a siamese cat... "How does it feel? To be on your own?" Bob Dylan weezed... The hippie and Bob shared a peace pipe and the Newsboys danced to love liberty disco on top of a very large school bus full of penguins. Just when it couldn't get any worse... or better...

[Elbereth]

...George W. Bush walks into the room, and upon seeing him, Bob and the Hippie charge at the president in rage and beat him like a red headed step child.

[Nenya Evenstar]

George Bush, unsure of what else to do, sits down at his desk in the Oval Office and begins to eat paperclips one by one thus patenting the phrase, "Tinsel Teeth". Bob, Bob, the hippie, the Newsboys, the diplomat, and whoever else there was were nailed to the spot with mechanical nails that came out of the floor and nailed their shoes into the rug and through the floor of the Oval Office. Bush laughs and enjoys his snack along with the sight of nailed people.

[7doubles]

Bill Clinton enters the room wearing only a diper and a Darth Vader mask. Clinton laughs "pinko's and dirty hippys, if you're going to beat around George Bush. Go to scool, dodge his draft Bob. Make the molemen proud." Bob takes off his shoes to free his feet from the office floor when everyone started laughing at him, his feet in paticuler, the nailes of his toes had been painted red and black like little lady bugs...

[Tar-Ancalime]

and then the commies take over,michael corleone leaves his brother scared ****less and takes bob with him back to lake tahoe

[HLGStrider]

ooc: nice work everyone... esp. Nen and 7

ic: Where he goes fishing for Walleyed pikes using Bob's lady bug toes as bait. Bob is now crying and Bush is punching out Clinton. Then Sadam Hussaine and Osama enter.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc: i"ve been trying to get a godfather thingy going and you don't even play along!:mad:

Than he goes fishing with al neri and Fredo and gets fredo's blood all over him

[HobbitGirl]

And then bob ate spam with the penguins that automagically appeared out of a tree. Then, they all danced the happy dance while the ice shattered all around them. They all fell through the ice and died, and Kyle shouted, "Oh my gawd, you killed Kenny!"

[HLGStrider]

ooc I haven't seen the Godfather... and I don't want to either... so there... :p

"Poor Kenny," said Bob. "I will bury him in silk pajamas."

[Nenya Evenstar]

ooc: Thanks Elgee! :D I haven't seen "The Godfather" either!

"You can't forget the spam!" one of the panguins said wiping its eyes. "You know, Kenny just loved the stuff!" So Bob remembered the Spam and thoughtfully buried Kenny with spam smeared all over his silk pajamas.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and all the horrible children began to do the polka on the ice and snow

[HLGStrider]

They slipped and fell and went through the ice where they did battle with the Merpeople led by Koffi Anan...

[Nenya Evenstar]

and were turned into fish with tad-pole bodies and lion manes. They galloped around the bottom of the ocean in a horse race and sang a song title, "All the Animals" written by the Beast Brothers.

[HLGStrider]

The Beetles and a group of elves arrived in the Yellow Submarine. They loaded the forward torpedos and prepared to fire on the Beastie Boys.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than One thousand million screaming fans ran over bob trying to see if they could touch paul mcarteny

[HLGStrider]

But they couldn't buy him love so he ran away crying. Bob moaned and picked himself up only to be wisked away by a passing torpedo.

[Nenya Evenstar]

and Bob died - again! The Dieties were getting angry with this man - when would he stop dying?

[HLGStrider]

They grabbed Bob and shoke him.
"WILL YOU STOP DYING ALREADY!?!?!?" they growled. "We've had to send you to three different after lives. We've given you all the special treatment you want. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!! DEAD OR ALIVE!!!"

Bob had to think this one over.

[Nenya Evenstar]

Finally he decided. "Dead!" he replied. So he was granted all the rights and citizenship of the dead and was allowed to go into the earth and roam with the other ghosts like a dead man should. However, he terrorized the spiders so much the the Dieties were forced to call a conference in heaven to discuss the knew Spiderman-torchure-thingy-whatsit who roamed around at free will. Thier decision was made, and Bob was made mortal again (much to his secret delight) and the whole cycle started over again. Bob was confident that he could gain as many admissions back into life that he wanted.

[HLGStrider]

When the Deities, who unbeknownst to Bob but knownst to us, can read thougts, read these thoughts they got mad at Bob and put all his thoughts through the paper shredder. They also did a few politicians' thoughts just to make things interesting.

[Nenya Evenstar]

However, the paper shredder did not end up with shredded paper for its leftovers but a mucky orange goo. The Dieties were forced to stop the shredding process in the middle so that they did not ruin their paper shredder, and because of this a few very stupid politicians were created, and Bob was left with only half his brain.

[7doubles]

and bob cursed the hevens and roared, pollititions of the west and to the west of west fold, dam you, let the molemen wear glasses. and i screamed i am bob but my friends call me rob, do you have sweet cigars. na said my lord but i play a mean guitar

[Tar-Ancalime]

God and the Dietis were sorely offended at these words and struck bob down with a lightening bolt

[Nenya Evenstar]

Thus Bob died again and was forced to think of another way to become reincarnated. He wracked his brain but could come up with nothing and think of nothing except peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches.

[HLGStrider]

The deities were merciful and put him back as a paper shredder. The paper shredder soon was very busy and shredded ten volumes of the encyclopedia Britanica.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Alas Bob did not enjoy this mundane existence and chose make a plea to become a can-can commie

[HLGStrider]

So they stuck him in a tutu and pushed him out on stage before a bunch of British Diplomats.

[Samwise_hero]

Bob was terribly embarrased and self concious (his tutu was a little short and tight). But decided to do a little dance for the fun of it. Soon Bob was being pounded with rotten fruit and nearly slipped and died again on his way running of the stage.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then the dieties said to him"Damn you bob, stop dying!" Bob whimperd and asked to be a woman named Jeny twowt

[HobbitGirl]

But the Dieties said "no, wait here while we have a little meeting." Bob tried to listen through the door, but St. Francis of Assisi was there to bap him on the head, so he didn't have a chance to hear much. Finally the Dieties came out and said to Bob, "We're going to erase your memory of all the crazy things that have happened to you and you're going to wake up in your bed at home. How does that sound?" Bob took a swing at them in reply, so they knocked him out and erased his memory anyway. Unfortunatly they were in such a hurry that they didn't do a very good job, so Bob still remembered how nice it was in Nirvana when he woke up. He wondered why his leg was itching, so he looked down and saw a gang of rabid wolverines that talked like Janet Reno chewing on his pajamas.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he decided that it was more worth it to die,so he asked the Virgin mary for interscession with Jesus, thehead of the dieties

[HLGStrider]

While he waited he was transformed into a scone and the Wolverines chased him into a pot of Green Tea. While he was in there he got all soggy....

[7doubles]

he was then drinken up by an irish drunk who mistook him for a marshmellow

[HLGStrider]

Who spit him out yellling "CRUMBS!!! CRUMBS IN ME TE?!?!?!?"

Bob landed in the fire and shriveled into a newt.

[Tar-Ancalime]

from whence he chose to crawl around

[HLGStrider]

He crawled into Strider's pipe and got high. He then danced with the Gycko Gecko to the moon.

[Tar-Ancalime]

for flippin froggy poggy bobs

[HLGStrider]

Bob didn't know what he'd just done or said because what the heck is a froggy bop... He then got hit in the head by a jumping cow.

[HobbitGirl]

....and the little dog laughed to see such fun, and the dish ran away with the spoon.

"Again! Again!" they shouted at Frodo.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Frodo decided that he hated the spotlight and put on the ring

[HobbitGirl]

And Bob said, "You draw far too much attention to yourself, Mr. Underhill!!!!"

:D:D:D:D:D

[7doubles]

under hill, under dale, bob bounced across the trail..

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob bounced all the way to the ocean, where he met his fishy end

[HLGStrider]

His fishy end and his human end got into a fight and Bob had to delegate between them. He compromised and found his amphibean end. He then sang "It's not easy being green" with Kermit.

[Nenya Evenstar]

And all the ends lived happily ever after to the end of their chocolate sundays.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which ran out just 5 seconds later due to kermits appetite

[HLGStrider]

Then Miss Piggy attacked because she was annoyed that she didn't have a first name... She painted Kermit blue and Bob green and then stuck a carrot up the fishy's nose.

[Samwise_hero]

Bob's ends were not happy with this so they yelled out in unison "NOT HAPPY! MISS PIGGY!!!!!
And with swift actions painted Miss Piggy Orange. And then ran and hopped for their dear lives as King Triton emerged from the sea with his Triton sparking and ready to zap whoever annoyed him first. Once again it was poor unlucky Bob with the frogs legs..........( no one had ever seen a frog jump so high)........(well a half frog anyway)...........(rather odd i must say to see them at this time of year their not meant to be out until next season.)..........

[Anamatar IV]

The now green bob stumbled into a how to be a mime store. A few moments later he came out with a white face and striped clothes. He pulled his way over with an imaginary rope to King Triton and started pushing on a box. King Triton was very annoyed now. He raised his triton high and zapped bob. But luckily bob was secure in his invisible box.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but bob wasn't invisble,so he sued the company for false advertising

[HobbitGirl]

But the company had O.J. Simpson's lawer, so they won and Bob had to pay them 2 million dollars. Now poor bob was a green mime with a white face AND he was bankrupt. He was very depressed so he decided he was going to try to get back to Nirvana.

[Tar-Ancalime]

so he thought of an elaborate accidental looking suicide plan,but that failed so he asked the Coyote from the warner brothes cartoon for ideas

[HobbitGirl]

The coyote was seeing things at the time because he had been hit in the head by giant rocks one too many times. He thought Bob was the Roadrunner so he dropped a safe on Bob's head.

[Nenya Evenstar]

And Bob di... :rolleyes: did not get knocked out because by now he had the hardest skull that ever existed under the sun. The safe bounded off his head and went into the basket: swish! The crowd jumped up and shouted and yelled. "Three points!" Yelled the coach, and the championship had been won.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and twenty drunk soccer (or football) fans ran in circles immitating quiddtch players

[HobbitGirl]

And all the drunk basketball players got brooms and then really started playing Quidditch. Somehow Bob got a broom too and was trying to aviod getting hit by a bulger when Harry zoomed past Bob and knocked him out of the air.

[HLGStrider]

And he fell... and fell... and fell.. and caught up with Gandalf and the Balrog. The Balrog was arguing that Gandalf had to loose his sword because the Balrog's whip was busted and it gave Gandalf an un fair advantage.
Gandalf gave the Balrog Bob to use instead.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than the balrog said to gandalf crying,"this is some stoopid human!Your notfair! I want a recount or something!"

[HobbitGirl]

But Gandalf just stuck his tounge out at the Balrog and started trying to chop off it's leg. Just then they hit the lake at the bottom of the abyss, and the Balrog let off steam. There was so much steam in the air that Bob was lifted up by it and he drifted away...

[Nenya Evenstar]

To Mount Sinai where he found Moses, Joshua, Michael Jackson, and Mr. Rogers dancing in ballerina tutus.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and said "This is too wierd!"

[Anamatar IV]

but while Micheal Jackson was doing a ballarena style moonwalk he knocked bob off the mountain. Bob said "Ive been doing nothing BUT falling today!" just then a pack of mimes with wings flew up to the falling bob and carryed him to a ledge. There they started beating him with baseball bats for speaking.

[HobbitGirl]

And just when things couldn't (or could) get any weirder, the Bunny Mafia came back from the dead and they all charged at Bob with kitchen knives! Aaaaaah!!!

[Tar-Ancalime]

but through a magical transformation, the there good faires from Sleeping beauty changed them to featherse

[HobbitGirl]

So instead of turning poor Bob into mincemeat, the evil Bunny Mafia began to tickle Bob with the feathers until he wet his pants.

[HLGStrider]

And Bob moaned "NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR!!!" He struck back throwing Avacadoes, a trick he learned from the guacamoli girl. He then was captured by Moses' wife whose name was Tizpora... Tzzipar... Tzipaara... Uh... Mary Anne.