Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[HLGStrider]

Bob attacked Wonks and Elgee for constantly appearing in his story!

Die!

Evil creatures!

The dictionaries got into an arguement about whether one should say have or got.

[Tar-Ancalime]

hmmm...bob said as he fell into a GE toaster oven

[HLGStrider]

He spread himself with butter and waited to brown... He got a very nice tan but was then eaten with cream cheese.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and is whisked way into the cowboy Bebop land

[HLGStrider]

He did the twist with Ranger Doug... which was incredibly scary.

Now while they were twisting someone snuck up and pulled out a machine gun while Frank Sinatra tried to sing "My Kind Of Town." He didn't win an Oscar, however, so he left, and everyone hit Big Jim.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and fae said to spike, "you told me when I came here to forget the past, and there you go running back to it! DOn't leave!" and she kissed him

[HLGStrider]

Little did she know that Spike was really an evil Talaxion from the Talaxions main city Talaxburg on the Planet Talax. The past he was trying to forget was the mass murder of many innocent Talaxes. Which is actually the plural of Martians.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"no its not," said Mr. webseter from behind the red curtain.

[Wonko The Sane]

And suddenly everyone morphed into Raidiohead's Karma Police video. You know the, cartoon with the fat Russian man who gets his limbs cut off with a chain saw?

And Bob gazed around in wonderment and said, "Planet Telex is an EXCELLENT Radiohead song off their album The Bends. Mmm...The Bends..." And he lay on the floor to enjoy Radiohead properly, because as everyone knows the best way to listen to Radiohead is while flat on your back and as close to the floor as possible.

[HLGStrider]

Bob was eaten by the EarthWorms from Tremors and transported within their stomachs to Mongolia.

[Celebthôl]

(k i dunno if this is right so if it isnt please herl as much abuse at me as you want)

there he met mongolian people who pushed him over

[HLGStrider]

into a large hole! He fell down and down and down again and again.

[Celebthôl]

he fell so much that eventually he stopped screaming and looked at the light he could see that was fast approching

[Wonko The Sane]

And then he hit his head on a large Chesterfield and woke up to find that he was in the middle of Lord's Cricket Ground, St. John's Wood, London. He looked into his rabbit skin bag and exclaimed, "This isn't my towell!!"

[Wolfshead]

Then, if memory serves, some alien-dude came out of a space ship and asked him some questions. And someone in the crowd died of a heart attack. Oh, yes, the alien wanted to meet everyone in the Universe.

I haven't read it for a long time...

[Celebthôl]

...ive never read it, the alien shakes bobs hand and flies off, bob faints

[Wonko The Sane]

Actually what happened was a herd of robots landed and stole the memorial ashes of the cricket stump burn to signify the "death of English circket." And the alien landed in the crowd to insult Arthur Philip Deodat. He called him a "no good dumbo-nothing". And then Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, and Slartibartfast escaped in the starship Bistromath. Which, incidentally, was Somebody Elses Problem.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but...Kenshin walked in on the mob and said

A sword is a weapon, the art of swordsmanship is to kill, what miss kauro says is sweet and inncoent talk from those who've never killed, but to tell you the truth I like miss kauros better and hope one day it becomes the truth for us all

[Wonko The Sane]

And then his sword broke into tiny pieces, and the pieces turned into grapes, which sprouted legs and ran away singing "Goodship Lollipop."

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he said what the heck was taht for

[Wonko The Sane]

And a small green fairy appeared and said, "For this!!" and thwacked him with a novelty sized board far to large for her to wield.

[Rogue666666]

Then Bob descided that his story had absolutely no plot or logic or theme or character or substance, and pertained to reality not in the slightest sence.

That's ok though, since it was meant to be a totally ridicoulus story to be carried on for God knows how long. So Bob whent back to Mongolia were he had met the girl of his dreams, only to find the local warlord had given her as a sacrifice to the martians, who had just finished their thanksgiving dinner. Oh well, you win some, you lose some Bob thought.

[HLGStrider]

Then his former English teacher chased him into the sea where they were hit by a tsunami of watery tomato sauce.

[Celebthôl]

he was washed down the plug hole on the sea floor and yet again he started falling

[Wonko The Sane]

Which was surprising, he thought to himself, as in America plug holes are called drains.

[Celebthôl]

he didnt know this although he did coz he thought of it and he blocked up the er hum drain

[Wonko The Sane]

With a giant hairball extracted from a Bengal Tiger.

[Celebthôl]

which he fell on years before after one of his freaquent falls everywhere

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks fell in love.

[Celebthôl]

with who asks Bob? as he unblocks himself

[Wonko The Sane]

"With Plate Tectonics Geek," she answered.

[Celebthôl]

sounds interesting says Bob as he falls

[Wonko The Sane]

Perhaps you know him?" She queried as she fell along side him. "You might now him as Snaga"

[HLGStrider]

No more real life or Forum characters...

The Great Lord of the Ridiculous Story hits WONKO WITH A BOARD!

[Rogue666666]

My life is getting completely out of hand Bob realizes. I'm always falling everywhere. I'm going to space were I'm never falling, I'm only drifting in a certain direction. So as Bob fell he managed to etain escape velocity and launched himself out of the earths orbit, there he joined Rogue squadron and helped Luke desrtoy the Death Star, only to find out that the Old geezer called the emporer was his father, so he joined the dark side and spent the rest of his exsitence in space gambling with Jaba the Hutt and arguieng with George Lucas.

[HLGStrider]

Lucas sentenced him into the void where he played Checkers with Morgoth and then got vaporized for cheating.

[Celebthôl]

he then started falling

[Wonko The Sane]

And when he looked over he saw ANOTHER Lucas.

This was the Lucas from Empire Records, and he said commandingly, "In the immortal words of The Doors: The time to hesitate is through."

[Celebthôl]

but he hesitated anyway and went through to...

[Wonko The Sane]

To Coventry.

He went through to Coventry.

[Celebthôl]

and he watched as he realised he had to walk all the way back to america where he wanted to go

[Wonko The Sane]

But he didn't walk all the way back because he didn't want to go to America because America is pants and England rocks.

And so he stayed in Coventry and went about parks and things early in the morning/late at night and put his head in stocks and things.

[Celebthôl]

lol stocks took me ages to get that one, ya no hes not in merry old england!

He realised that england is pantser than he thought no matter what a certain Fox says to he made for America again

[Wonko The Sane]

But half way there he realised he didn't have his Green Card so he went back to England where SOMEONE SUPERGLUED HIM TO THE FLOOR OF THE OLD COVENTRY CATHEDRAL AND HE HAD TO STAY THERE FOREVER!

[Celebthôl]

but he hated it so much and wondered how the certain Fox knew so much about England?! and turned into the incredible Hulk because he got so enraged and ripped up off the floor, and jumped really high and fell again! but where would he land?

[Wonko The Sane]

Right back in Coventry.

Why? The answer is Gravity.

And then he realised that Fox knew so much about England because she had been studying very hard for her emigration entrance exams.

[Celebthôl]

well then Thôl had a bright idea he thought hed change the exams so that Fox didnt have live here and get ****ed of the shear pantsness of it!

he fell so far and fast the he fell through the earth and fell into China and he cryed coz he wanted his native america!

[Tar-Ancalime]

sadly, he was only given the yrch of amercia

[Rogue666666]

Bt were their is a will there is a way, so bob willed himself to America, and puff!, there he was, Skieeng on the slopes of Copper Mountain in Colorado. Bob didn't like skieeng, so he stole a snowboard off a kid and enjoyde himself for the rest of the day. He then sang the Star Spangled banner, and "Courtesy of the Red,White,and Blue" which is an awesome song that he heard on the radio. he decided he would NEVER go back to Limey land, aka England, ever again. :D

[Celebthôl]

A-Men said a priest who was behind him

[HLGStrider]

Then Bob and the priest got into an arguement over the devine rights of turkeys.

[Celebthôl]

because the priest believed the turkey was equal to man, but bob believed in shooting them at point-blank range with a shot-gun
(ill change this if it is too gratuitous (sp))

[HLGStrider]

ooc: only turkey rights groups would complain...

IC: Then Bob was mobbed by the Turkey rights group who tarred him. They would've tarred and feathered him but to feather him they would've had to hurt innocent birds. Then someone told them that tar was a natural substance too so they had to scrape it from Bob and put it back in the Tar Pits. Then they covered him in toliet paper, but that comes from trees... finally they gave up and launched Bob from the top of Mt. Etna.

[Celebthôl]

LMAO

he fell AGAIN and hit every rock on the way down

(sorry this sux im not good with the jokes like Elgee here)

[HLGStrider]

The Nuns picked him up at the bottom and took him to a hospital where they gave him a free fruit cup. Bob loved his fruit cup. He loved the pineapple. He loved the cherry on top. He really loved the grapes.
"Never leave me, fruit cup!" he begged. "I love you more than life itself!"

[Celebthôl]

so the fruit cup turned round and said "i'll never leave you bob, eat all the fruit you like"

[HLGStrider]

That was why Bob started crying...

[Celebthôl]

...tears of utter joy, so he jumped outta bed, but wasnt mended yet so he fell over and broke his back again and spent more time with Mr/Mrs fruit cup

[HLGStrider]

Bob loved his fruit cup... but one day it was all gone. You can't have a fruit cup and eat it too.

[Celebthôl]

exactly he learned a very big lesson just then so he got up and walked out the door into...

[HLGStrider]

the arms of Brunhilda the bearded lady. She had been following Bob for sometime.

[Celebthôl]

i dunno who she is said bob so he asked her who she was...

[HLGStrider]

"I'm with the CIA, buster," she scowled. "We've been watching you for sometime in connection with the Death of one Buffy the Chicken Vampire Slayer. It seems her tractor trailer crashed outside of Pheonix and you used to own a kennel there."

[Celebthôl]

indeed i did it was my humble aboding at one point u tryin to say im a tramp?!
also the whole chicken killing thing was self-defence!

[HLGStrider]

"Leave that to the jury," she slung Bob over her shoulder and hauled him into an armored truck filled with angry Buffy fans.

[Celebthôl]

there they beat him about the van and no-one could help him not even thae wiered tiger he met

[Ecthelion]

The ruckus in the truck was so bad that the truck toppled over and rolled down a cliff they were near. Bob was flung out the back and got caught on a branch. He watched as the truck exploded at the bottom of the cliff. What will he do now?

[HLGStrider]

He took some chalk out of his pocket and started playing tictactoe on the cliff's face with a little bird. The little bird told him all sorts of interesting things... like how to suck an egg into a pop bottle.

[Ecthelion]

Then the bird got a siezure and died. Then Bob grew wings and started flying when he was hit by a delta airplane.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which wasn't really that tragic since no one missed bob

[Rogue666666]

I HATE THIS STORY,, cried Bob. I'm always getting hurt. So he cuaght a concorde to neverneverland, but crashed in Middle-Earth half way there. Finally he journeyed to the house of healing in Rivendell, there Elrond awaited him.

Elrond: Well done my child, you have found your way here, but I'm out of Efelas.

Bob: Fefales?

Elrond:Kings Foil

Bob:No i don't have any foil.

Elrond: EFELAS!!!

Bob:Efelefasefl?

Elrond: Its a weed!

Bob: I stopped smoking that stuff years ago, and if you think your going to hook me on it now, then your wrong! This isn't a house of healing, this is a dope shop!

I'm disgusted elrond.

"Elrond grabs the shards of Narsil"

Bob: HEY!, Back off! What did I do? then Bob trips and falls down, down, down....

[Tar-Ancalime]

till he reacched the bottom of a bottomless pit...The diets were there

Diet:Bob, since you have died over millions of times we are deciding to leave you in this pit, were tired of ordering new life.

Bob: I didn't expect to die so much!

Diet: and nobody expected the spanish inquisitoiin either!

*crashes as a whole is made in the pit*

Cardinal Fang: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! our chief weapon is suprise, surpise and fear, fear and suprise!

Cardinal 2: *underbreath* you forgot to mention fannatical devotion to pope.

Cardinal 3: *under breath* and...wait...we got it all

Cardinal Fang: Okay, okay fine, lets start this over...

[Rogue666666]

Bob decides to take his chance and dash through the hole while the spanish inquisition takes its tole on the diets.

But just seconds after that he trips and falls, falls, falls......

[Tar-Ancalime]

than he wondered how he could fall in the bottom of a bottomless pit...wait...i'm confused...

[Rogue666666]

And so is Bob, but this is a totally ridicoulus story, so bob kept falling.

Finally, Bob realized that if this was INDEED a bottomless pit, that he would never get out again. What to do, what to do...
Bob wondered.

[Wolfshead]

He carried on wondering until he hit the bottom. Where he met Margaret Thatcher.

[Celebthôl]

"hi she said im the evil primeminister of this hole and ima send my fellow country men on a stupid mission to take over a chumpy island that don't belong to us anyway"!

(there is symbalism here)

[Wolfshead]

To which Bob felt he had to correct her. The island did infact belong to the place she was prime-minister of before the people who sounded an awful lot like Bargentians decided they wanted it.

Margaret Thatcher slapped him.

[Celebthôl]

LMAO HAHAHAHAHAHA

he turned around and said but you stole it off of the Bargentians first which makes you the badies again!

[HLGStrider]

Then a big candy cane hooked down and pulled Bob up into the sky... up up up...
"This is a nice change," thought Bob... Then the cane broke.

[Wolfshead]

And then guess what happened? Yes, that's right, he began falling. Down and down and down until, suddenly, he hit the ground again. He was going to talk about an island with Maggie again, but she'd magically dissapeared. He then set about finding a way back up.

[Celebthôl]

he used the shards of the broken candy cane to climb back up which took...

[HLGStrider]

They were sticky and the bees attacked!!!

[Celebthôl]

he couldnt shake the shards of coz they were so sticky so he fell back down and the bees followed

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

And then Winnie the Pooh came and Bob used him as a shield from the attacking bees!!!

[Celebthôl]

pooh chuckled *ahehehe* and got stung into a big ball of swolen

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

"into a big ball of swolen"

...yarn?

[Celebthôl]

he swelled up really bad*

[HLGStrider]

He unraveled and was made into a sweater by Jon Arbukle's mother... Garfield scratched him!

[Rogue666666]

While alll this was happening Bob was wondering. If all the countries in the world gave back everything they had ever taken, then we'de all have to go back to living in cave's, which bob didn't like, since he didn't like caves, since cave's often have hole's in them, and Bob fell down holes, and..

On and on and on the story goes....

[HLGStrider]

Then he was pushed into a cave and kept there prisoner by a rabid wombat named Cecily.

[Celebthôl]

Cecily was soooo evil that he tickled bobs toes with a feather whenever bob fell asleep...

[HLGStrider]

Bob couldn't take it any more so he attacked her with a squeegie.

[Celebthôl]

it took out Cecily's eye and bob escaped but got caught and dragged back by...

[Wonko The Sane]

Rob. He got dragged back by Rob who was dressed as a fairy.

[Celebthôl]

so bob turned round and laughed so much that he weed himself...

[Wonko The Sane]

And Rob, who was quite disgusted, engaged his flying mechanisms, or in layman's terms wings, and flittered off.

[Celebthôl]

once bob had started he couldnt stop weeing andsoon the hole he was in was filled up and he climbed out into...

[Wonko The Sane]

A bar. A green painted bar with brick flooring and a half-naked dancing girl hanging from the ceiling.

[Celebthôl]

he had by now stopped weeing and he looked at the girl tripped up and...

(little note: yay this is my 400th post thx Elgee couldnt ave done it without this thread, oh im so happy for me :))

[Wonko The Sane]

And he fell right into a pile of shaving cream.

And four furry ewoks jumped him, shaved his head, and forced himHIM to hang half-naked from the rafters of the bar. Apparently this was some sort of punishment.

[Wonko The Sane]

And he fell right into a pile of shaving cream.

And four furry ewoks jumped him, shaved his head, and forced himHIM to hang half-naked from the rafters of the bar. Apparently this was some sort of punishment.

[Celebthôl]

*cough*spammer*cough*

he didnt like it and started crying like a 5 year old girl, Mr Skywalker heard and came charging in light-sabber blazing...

[Rogue666666]

Unfortunately Skywalker was stopped by Yoda who gave him a three day lecture on self-control. This left Bob in a very uncomfortable position for three days. Finally Yoda finished and Skywalker raced on...

[Wonko The Sane]

To the set of "Whose line is it anyway" where he was a prop for some dirty skit Ryan Stiles was perpetrating with Colin Mochry.

[Rogue666666]

This is disgusting Luke thought, so he slashed both of them up and dashed back a diferent direction..

[Wonko The Sane]

Towards a car park. Where he slipped into his Mazda and sat there( on the left hand side of course, in front of the stearing wheel!!) so he could waste exorbitant amounts of money on calling a girl who really didn't quite deserve such lavish attentions.

[Rogue666666]

Finally skywlaker realized that the focus of the story was on Bob, so he honorably fell on his own lightsaber, and now, BACK to Bob!

[Wonko The Sane]

Who incidentally ran to the carpark and slipped into HIS Mazda, again on the left side, and spent far too much money phoning a girl who didn't quite deserve it.

[Rogue666666]

Then bob noticed that in the Mazda next to him there were Luke skywalker guts everywhere, this dusgusted him so he decided to take a drive, which is just what he did.

[Wonko The Sane]

Interestingly enough he found himself driving to the airport, presenting tickets he didn't know he had, and boarding a flight to America.

[Rogue666666]

Ubnfotunately, ( that word appears a lot in this story) the plane was shot down by an Iraqi missle that the US didn't know THEY had, and Bob began to fall, fall , fall, down, down, down...

[Wonko The Sane]

Luckily he landed more or less exactly where he was headed.

Which was to Washington state.

[Rogue666666]

In Phoenix of course! :D There he met up with Wonko the Sane, decided that he'd rather spend his time somewhere were there were much more interesting people and took a flight to Taiwan, there he met up with Rogue. The became great friends,and it was the best time bob's had in this whole pathetic stroy.

[HLGStrider]

But then he fell... but he fell up! Then he hit the moon, bounced off the planet Vulcan, and danced with Orion.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which was strange because a) Wonks lives not in Phoenix, b) the planet vulcan does not exist, and c) Orion is quite decidedly straight.

[Celebthôl]

yes but in reality bob would not exist!

[Wonko The Sane]

And Bob hitched a lift on the next passing Arcturan Mega-Freighter and ended up somewhere in the star system surrounding Kakrafoon.

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

After landing in the star system, some local Kakrafoonians swung by and gave him a lift. Then they whipped out the probe...

Needless to say, Bob had heard about these and jumped out of the Kakrafoonian ship only to land in a tub of alien waste. Except this waste tasted like strawberries...

[Rogue666666]

Bob decided he was starving, besides, how could he possibly know it was Kakrafoonian wste he was about to eat?

Yum bob said as he finished his meal. Then he happened to glance at his reflection on the cargo holders wall. AAAAAAAAAHHHH! I've turned into a half Kakrafoonian!

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

Bob stared in amazement and terror at his purple furry skin and long yellow hair down to his waist. Bob realized that he was not only turning into a half Kakrafoonian, but a female one as well!!!

[Celebthôl]

well he realised this did have its upsides *grins*

[Wonko The Sane]

And so he locked himself inside a Kakrafoonian bedroom for a while, as any male suddenly turned female would do, and he didn't come out for approximately....

[Celebthôl]

9 billion years! After which...

[Wonko The Sane]

Remarked surprisingly on the fact that Kakrafoonians seem to reproduce a-sexually and he now had close to 4million offspring.

All of which were green, and bore the name "Zem"...

[Celebthôl]

which was very annoying because when he wanted only one of them they all came

[Wonko The Sane]

And when he tried to get one to do something and he didn't do it Bob had no way of knowing which one to punish.

[Celebthôl]

so he had one hell of a big mussely (sp) arm from all that spanking

[Wonko The Sane]

*muscly

And the Zems didn't get taught the lesson nearly well enough seeing as since Bob had so many bottoms to spank nobody really got too many.

[HLGStrider]

And Lord Caravon's dog started to HOWL!

And the Zems attacked. Only the MIB could save him now.

[Wonko The Sane]

But they didn't cos the MIB are pants.

[Celebthôl]

so in came James bond and ran um down in his car gizmo thingy...

[Wonko The Sane]

But James Bond had had one too many shaken Martinis (not stirred!) and he crashed his car gizmo thing into Legoman.

[Celebthôl]

Legoman screamed and James just laughed cos he was so wasted...

[Wonko The Sane]

And then James blew up.

Nobody knows why.

[Celebthôl]

So then legoman got started on by the Zems

[Wonko The Sane]

They ate him.

Which didn't work out because they're methane breathers and Legoman is made of mostly water and the water reacted with the methane and made the Zems cry.

[Celebthôl]

this made them mad and turend them into super Zens *gulp*...

[Wonko The Sane]

And the ZeMs grew to be 4 feet tall!

Which was huge for them as, fully grown, they were only about 17 inches.

[Rogue666666]

Then a crazy scientist from way back in the story blew up all the zens into radioactive sludge.

[Wonko The Sane]

And all the Zems looked at the scientist weird and wondered where the zens came from.

[Rogue666666]

The scientist hated every single living creature that had a name staring with Z, and W, and H, And, And, everyone letter for that matter. So he ordered orbiting weapon platforms to luach Chemonuclear missles to wipe himself and all the Zems off the face of the solar system. Thankfully Bob wasn't there at the time and was dining with Uklegorians on the other side's of the universe.

[Celebthôl]

he was showing them the joy of the local chippy

[Rogue666666]

Unfotunately bob didnt know what the word
"Chippy" meant, so he went along on his journey through the Universe until he came across a whole, a very large whole. As Bob tried to go around he realized he had had one to many drinks with the Uklegorians. He stumbled, and well, you can guess what happened next.

[Celebthôl]

He fell again and then he realised that the word chippy means...
"chip shop" or as amricans/canadians would call it "french fry shop" or something to that nature.

[Rogue666666]

Lovely! he exclaimed. " I love chips, or fries or whatever their called."

Bob the realized that he was hanging in the middle of nowhere, and that there was nothing here.

"Hmm, strange." bob thought.

"Were is everybody?"

[Celebthôl]

they are looking for you said a deep voice from outta knowhere...

[Rogue666666]

"Hmmm, thought Bob. A deep voice from nowhwer outa nowhere, this person must be from nowhere!"

Hello person from nowhere! Bob shouts.

From were in nowhere do you come?

Then bob remembered the matrix movie he saw last week. Hmm, this seems familiar.

OOC: YIIPPEEEE!, this is my 100rth post

[Celebthôl]

I saw the matrix but i dont remeber a big voice outta knowhere thought a passing stranger who will not be metioned of unless sumone needs him to ask what is going on in the story (if u could understand that)!

[Tar-Ancalime]

or so they thought!

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

And then, a giant boot came out of nowhere and kicked Bob halfway across the universe until he landed on top of the Eiffel Tower in France on a planet called Earth. He realized he was in the year 2002 and he was a human again!

OOC: WOO HOO I GOT MY HOME COUNTRY IN THIS THREAD ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!!:D

[HLGStrider]

All the French were wearing berrets, smoking cigirettes, and speaking with Clousou accents... Do you see that minkey? I will not stop until the case is Solve-ed!

[Wonko The Sane]

And then they got shot for speaking with Clousou accents cos Clousou accents are naff.

[Tar-Ancalime]

or so they said but really it was even hip in italy!

[Celebthôl]

but we are in france and the British don't like it!

[Wonko The Sane]

And the British are always right...

Except with their immigration laws. Which Bob spat at and threw out to sea.

[Rogue666666]

But because Bob spat out the British immigration laws he was doomed to live in France and never go to England. In France, he slowly began to starve because he coudn't figure out how to chew their bread, it was so repulsive.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than he decided to visit the Tai-chi house in Taiwan and talk to master Gohemdamea

[HLGStrider]

But master G tai-paied him and not nearly minimum wage either... GET IT? TAI-PAYED?

[Celebthôl]

errr i dont though im sure i should (im a bit dumb :'( )
so bob was sader and worked 24/7 for next to nuthing

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

and then Bob died...

but behold! Due to Bobs prior experience with the Kafrokoonians, his DNA was mutated to reproduce one last time at death.

Thus, Bobette was created and buried Bob's body and moved to Africa and became Queen of Gh'oaska.

[Wonko The Sane]

Until such time as a sea monster regurgitated Britain's immgiration laws in quite a cohesive way which was completely conducive to harmless American girls moving to Britain.

And as Bobette was now a harmless American girl who just happened to be Queen Gh'oaska she was allowed to move to England.

YAY! Finally!

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

But unfortunately, Bobette got ensnared within the British CIA. She learnd that the Brits were planning a nuclear attack on France!!! Knowing that France was superior to GB in all ways (espec. immigration laws), she escaped GB and told the French government what she had learned.

So... France nuked the island of GB, after burning its immigration laws, of course. ;)

Thus Bobette became La Reine de la France.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which quite angered a great deal sexily-accented Brits and they killed all the French people. The End.

[Tar-Ancalime]

such a shame too a great tale

[HLGStrider]

But no... it could never end... It went on... like a timewarp when Voyager was struck by a beam and Checotay had to go back and fix things... Why Checotay? Why the weird, second in command guy with the stupid tatoo and a voice like Mr. Rogers? Why not Tuvok? Or Harry? Harry never gets spotlighted. The Dr. would make things interesting... Tom would if you could trust him... Don't get me wrong. I love Tom, I had a short crush on Tom, but he is too much fun to put into something that serious and weird...

[Tar-Ancalime]

we thought it was over...I loved him and he left me for a one night stand with CONRAD BIRDIE!!!

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

So confused....

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[Ecthelion]

Me too........:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

[HobbitGirl]

"Of course you're confused! You're supposed to be confused! What other way is there to be besides confused?!?!" Bob shouted, having no idea what he was saying and hopping on one foot.

[HLGStrider]

Truthfully the whole world was confused. It was nothing but confusion. Then the Death Star slowly floated onto the screen. Bob gaped. He had forgotten that he'd agreed to go see Star Wars with Zelda that night. Quickly he knocked down Comrade Birdie and ran out of the room.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Ay me" cried bob and sank into the awaiting arms of Leonardo Dicaprio

[Wonko The Sane]

And then Leonardo DiCaprio fainted and they all fell down.

Just like London Bridge.

Which incidentally isn't in London.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Tell me the truth!" screamed the disgruntled scottish-italian lawyer in a divorce case, "DO YOU HATE LEO DICAPRIO!DO YOU!"

[HLGStrider]

"Personally," squeeks a mild mannered man. "I don't particularly like Winnona Ryder..."

Adam Sandler then picked the mild man up and threw him into the middle of a foot ball arena.

The little, mild man then beat up OJ Simpson.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and the summer days were slippin away! Bah-ba-bob!

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

And then Winona Ryder was eaten by a giant slug, which incidentally came from Bob's uterine lining.

"Aye me!" Bob cried. "Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinona!!!!"

And then Bob married Whitney Houston

[Tar-Ancalime]

than fabio said..this has to do with gresae you

[HLGStrider]

Then John Travolta boogied into the room followed by a conga line of penguins... Boogie Boogie Boog-ie... boogie boogie boog-ie...

And the Chamber of Secrets fell ontop of them all when Bob risked the wrath of all Harry Potterites by yelling out "JK ROWLING CAN'T WRITE!"

[Wonko The Sane]

And then JK Rowling appeared dressed as Madonna and started singing "Like a Virgin"

[HLGStrider]

And Bob was plummeled by the Potterites and pottered by the Plmmelites.
The Plummelites then proceded to puncture his picture of a penguin in a pullover.

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

HAHAHAHA!!!

Im still picturing JK Rawling dressed as Madonna singing Like a Virgin. That is GREAT!

Anyways...

and then Bob realized he was in Dimension X, and saw a pack of Gushers floating around. He ate one and his head turned into a watermelon.

[HobbitGirl]

And then Bob realized he had made a fatal error by underestimating the power of Dimension X. Anything could, and would, happen. Suddenly he saw Beanie being chased by a ravenous moon monster from the moons of Qualatair, and Seasel chasing the moon monster, saying "I'm coming Beanie boy, I'm coming!" And Bob groaned, "My childhood is coming back to haunt me! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

till time stopped and bob stepped out of himself and was escorted to the diets meeting hall. He stood in front of the diets they said to him,

"Bob, you've managed to stay alive for 3 pages! For that we reward you with turning into any person you want to...and living as that person."

"WOW! You know, i've always wanted to be Peter Pan and live in neverneverland and FLY!Can I do that...okay...Please!"

"It is done."

and bob was changed into peter pan...

[HLGStrider]

It wasn't all he'd hoped it to be. Captain Hook had retired and now was a pool shark at the local pub where Smee was polishing glasses. The Crocadile had got a job as a metronome with the Boston Philharmonic, Tinker Bell had ran off with the Keebler Elf, and Wendy was making eyes at ALL of the Lost Boys.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then all the lost boys jumped up and down at the same time and screamed TWO DAYS!!! TWO DAYS!!!!!!!

[HLGStrider]

Then Bob/Peter said "I am Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."

[Wonko The Sane]

And the nine fingered man screamed "IT'S INIGO YOU DOLT!!! DON'T YOU KNOW YOUR OWN NAME?!?!" And he thwacked him and then stood on his head and said, "TWO DAYS!!! TWO DAYS!!! OH JOY!! OH RAPTURE!! WHATEVER SHALL I WEAR?!?!?!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

than a gorgeos woman peered over a balcony,
"Romeo, O romeo, O where in the hell is my romeo! Deny his latness at picking me up for dates, i'm dumping him, i've heard he's vain!"

[HLGStrider]

So Malvolio and Tybalt went into business together but eventually their cutlery shop failed because nobody, not even my Shakespeare teacher, knew what the prince of cats meant... Did it mean he was crafty? Did it mean he liked to toy with his prey? Did it refer to that character in the original lay of Luthien? What did it mean?

[Wolfshead]

Bob, not knowing who Malvolio and Tybalt were, having never been forced to read Romeo & Juliet, ran away from all lifes problems.

He eventually found himself on the top of a double decker bus in the rain, in the middle of Wolverhampton. He was wearing a kilt and holding a pink umbrella, asking people if they could tell him how to get to Islington.

People pretended to ignore him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Till he ran into Marius who told him an inspiring speech:

My brother, come join me in our fight for democracy! You should see the injustices the laborers in the third estate are forced to suffer! No food! No money! something must be done. And my brother you and me are the ones to show the world the French Son's of Liberty, Will not back down. Our daughters of liberty are outstandingly loyal and will not back down. Let us show to these tyrants France WILL be free!

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

Except France was already free, and was the greatest superpower in the world.

So, Bob decided to leave the Earth once again, via Le Francinator 3000, because in his heart he didnt really like the French since they were superior to him in every way.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"and the only problem was half of your first statement was true," said a world war two historian

[Wolfshead]

And as Bob was walking down the streets of Marseille, talking with Le Papet and Ugolin Soubeyran, he accidentally fell into a man hole. This hole turned out to be a time portal!

When Bob awoke he was in the first decade of the 19th century, just as the British Army was tearing apart the Napoleonic Empire ;)

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

Hey now!

What happened to the Francinator 3000 that Bob left Earth on??????

[HLGStrider]

So he went back to sleep and woke up in ancient Greece just as Ageus was jumping off a cliff because his idiot son forgot to take down the black sail and put up the white sail. He then was eaten by the minituar because the idiot son also forgot to finish the job or close the door to the laberynth behind him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he decided to dump this whole labyrinth idea and got himself in a portal to middle earth

[HobbitGirl]

"Oooo," said Bob, "I like this place." And Bob began to stroll around the grove of trees and breathe in the fresh air. But just then a troop of orcs burst out of the bushes and pointed their ugly little sword thingies at him.

"I knew I should've taken that Tae-Kwan-Do(sp?) class in third grade!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc: yes you spelled it right!

than Legolas and Aragorn and Gimli came out and defended bob believing he was frodo.

[HLGStrider]

Bob got out his Pom-poms and cheered them on... all from inside the Minituar's stomach. Finally the Minituar got sick of this and swallowed the Fellowship. Once Aragorn had joined Bob down in the depths of the half man half bull he noticed something.
"Hey! You aren't Frodo. You aren't even a Hobbit!" Aragorn and Legolas beat up on Bob while Gimli played Chess with a stomach flu who happened to be in there.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Gimli roared in anger as the stomach flu beat him, he threw the chess board at Bob. Then the beating was silenced by the singing of Carlotta. The five (including stomach flu) watched her preform "faust", than after a certain line, the songstress made an excruciating co-ack

[HLGStrider]

The chess pieces rose up and attacked Carlotta... beautiful Carlotta, Tragic Carlotta... the girl who jumped off the church tower in Vertigo was named Carlotta. Then her ancestor did the same thing... or did she?

CAN JAMES STEWART SOLVE THE MYSTERY IN TIME? Why doesn't he just marry the pretty blonde with glasses?

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Because he loved me!" screamed arwen, and she pouted off

[HLGStrider]

Then Romeo proposed to Arwen and when she refused because she was still waiting for her true love he bought her a pair of silk pajamas... which won her heart and Aragorn had to marry Juliet who was 13 and everyone knows that Aragorn was almost 90... so it didn't last long.

[Tar-Ancalime]

so out of pure jealousy Arwen married romeo!

[HLGStrider]

Romeo jumped off a bridge just to give things a tragic flavor, but he landed on Bob who was punting on the Thames.

[Rogue666666]

But the thames had been turned to radioactive sludge due to French nuclear missles, which they only had four of. finally Bob realized that everything wrong with the world was because of the french. There stupid French bread, there stupid French films, and there stupid radio tower that they forgot to pull down and made into a tourist trap. Why does the world tolerate the insolate and selfish French? Who knows. But Bob decided to do something about it, so he met up with God and pointed out his mistake in creating the French, so God reloacated everyone on earth except the french to another more buetiful planet. Then he caused the earths core to detonate, completely destroying all the French people in a massive inferno. ( No offense to the French intended :D )

[HLGStrider]

Gosh... it would've been a lot better if the new planet didn't have a Helium atmosphere... now everybody had squeeky voices...

[Tar-Ancalime]

but since life is a dream half of the people died from laughing at eachother

[Rogue666666]

Life is not a dream, Bob screamed!, and then he woke up.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Where are my slippers!?!" he screamed

[HLGStrider]

They were having a pool party with his socks in the fish tank. He reached in to get them and a sucker fish locked on to his pinky finger.... OUCH....

That's gonna hurt.

The fish smiled at him and then did "crazy eyes."

[Rogue666666]

thankfully the fish was a sucker, so that when bob offered it some fish food it let go, Bob , then pouring the fish food into the tank looked over at the vial and realized he had just wasted the last of his table salt. So he set off to find some more table salt.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Saddam walked in from the pool, drunk, and with two grandmothers hanging on him, they proceeded to a closet. Bob grimaced at the thought

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Saddam walked in from the pool, drunk, and with two grandmothers hanging on him, they proceeded to a closet. Bob grimaced at the thought

[HLGStrider]

That's when the house exploded and the table salt landed on an innocent family of slugs... IT WAS TERRIBLE!

[HobbitGirl]

"Help me! Help me! What a world," moaned the Wicked slug of the West as it melted. "How could an innocent grain of salt like you destroy my beautiful slugginess?! What a world..." And the Cowardly Lion laughed until he cried at the drunk people gallavanting around the dance floor.

[HLGStrider]

Bob was arrested for Slug murder and hauled off to slugcourt in the slug mobile.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he met al capone and became good friends with him.

[HLGStrider]

Which was just down right weird... the judges of the ridiculous story got to gether and decided to have a conference on what constitutes weird and what constitutes ridiculous. They were all wearing goggly eye glasses, which, of course, is just strange.

[Wolfshead]

And in the middle of their meeting, they all stood up, pulled rabbits out of hats and sung We Wish You A Merry Christmas sounding rather like Shane McGowan. Then they realised how foolish they looked, sat down, and put their spotted waistcoats back on and began discussing the weather. Due to them completley forgetting what they should have been discussing in the first place.

One guy then stood up, "Take us into warp, Mr Crusher", thinking he was on Star Trek but then he realised he was no longer captain of the Enterprise, but reduced to appearing in remakes of A Christmas Carol and Animal Farm.

[HLGStrider]

And Wesley had only appeared in Nemesis for like five seconds anyway... So what are we going to do about that? He was kind of cute... not nearly as cute as the guy Elgee has a crush on, but cute...

Anyway, The judges all ate Chocolate oranges...

[Tar-Ancalime]

OR DID THEY!

than a meek voice said, "Well actually we don't know if this story actuall happned soo ja."

[HLGStrider]

"OF COURSE IT HAPPENED!" wept Bob. "Would I lie? Would Amy Grant lie? Would George C. Scott lie? Would Jean-Luc lie? Would the Salvation army give poisionous socks to innocent children?"

The FDA launched an investigation on the Salvation army and arrested Amy, George, and Jean-Luc.

[Tar-Ancalime]

NEways! all the world says as those groups were locked up amoung several anglican homophobes

[HLGStrider]

And Grant put on a free concert with free milk and cookies.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and the kitties came in force as the broke down the doors of isengard

[HLGStrider]

Sauruman flung a bunch of palantirs at them to try and get them to go away, so they went and played bowling with them, after drilling holes in the top. This gave Sauron a headache and made him grumpy.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than when all seemed lost Eglee, the freaky cat lady came,and sent her kitties in the right direction.

[Wolfshead]

The kittens promptly went walking off in the right direction before getting run over. The kittens no longer purred or left hair lying all over the house, they had moved on in their careers, a step up to roadkill.

[HLGStrider]

They returned as ghosts and haunted Craig Smith for being inately evil... the followed him around making cat calls.

[Celebthôl]

and this annoyed Craig Smith (what happened to Bob)? so Craig never got any sleep!

[HLGStrider]

But Bob, who had always liked cats, slept incredibly well, and when he woke up he found that two hundred years had passed and earth had been taken over by Libertarian Plutonians from Pluto... as opposed to the Socialist Plutonians from Mars.

[Celebthôl]

LMAO

and he got kidnapped (although he was far from a kid) and mde into a slave...

[HLGStrider]

But Abraham Lincoln wrote out the Emancipation Proclamation which was fine with the libertarians... however, then he let them pass the amendment which allowed for income tax, and they got mad. They attacked with squeegies.

[Celebthôl]

this would have worked but Bob had a 2 by 4 so he chased them away and was very smug as somthing for once was going his way!...

[HLGStrider]

That was was when a booming voice yelled down "PRIDE COMETH BEFORE THE FALL"

And of course Bob fell...

[Celebthôl]

LMAO

wow a real change for once he thought :rolleyes:
he fell so much again :rolleyes: that he fell asleep...

[HLGStrider]

He stretched out in his bed, but didn't notice the fin shaped bump slowly gliding around him under the covers. The jaws music made him look up just before the firemen rushed in and found him with a large, tiger shark. They assumed it was his wife and left.

[Celebthôl]

it ate him whole, and it turned out that Jona (sp) was eaten by a shark not a whale!

(c-mon Elgee lets take it to 1000 posts tonight)!

[HLGStrider]

Ok...

Bob was depressed by this and started doing cave are on the beast's insides. He drew a world famous picture and all the other people who had been swallowed, especially Jonah thought it was great...

everybody besides Captain Ahab, who was jealous.

[Celebthôl]

so jonah traded him his soul for the painting, which to this Bob said...

[HLGStrider]

"YOU WILL BURN! BURN FOREVER IN HADES! TORTURED BY INDISCRIMINATING HARPIES! HARPIES AND HYPOGRIFS!"

[Celebthôl]

on hearing this Jonah ran away and cryed his little heart out and everyone tryed to kick Bob out but they naturaly couldn't coz well they couldn't! so they were all stuck with him being...

[HLGStrider]

the leader of the band... In fact, he was the music man. Which is why Shirley Jones was suspicious. She hit him with a pumpkin pie and left over cranberry sauce.

[Celebthôl]

LMAO

that is why he stunk for a year and a day! and that is also why he had no friends! except his sock puppet named socky! they had many an adventure involving...

[HLGStrider]

chickens. In fact they learned that the whole universe revolves around the great egg which will one day hatch and the resulting chicken will gobble up the stars like cracked corn.

Jimmie Crack Corn and I could care, but have decided to be apathetic.
You?

[Tar-Ancalime]

"STOP THIS MADNESS!" screamed the enflamed diets. They called bob to their meeting place.

"Bob," said a low voice, "you are a disgrace...you either die or fall asleep...henceforth you are exiled to the coldest, and darkest recess' of space to earn a living pumping gas for dirty alien men who harass themselves with finger torchlights....GO!"

[HLGStrider]

Bob started to cry..

"Not now... please not now! I'm so close! So close to achieving my goal! My purpose in life!"