Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[Celebthôl]

YAY!!! we did it woohoo!!! :D
anyway

"What is that purpose"? said the voice, "To make 1000 posts on Elgee's continuous (sp) story thing! well its done so off i go to pumpgas for dirty alien men who harass themselves with finger torchlights"!!!

YAY!!! WE DID IT!!! :D :D :D

[Rogue666666]

BUT NO! Bob hated pumping gas, so he convinced the deits to let him work at a seven-eleven. He was so proud, especially because of how close this one was to the orginal seven-eleven. Number 345,678,900 out of 8,273,649,203,847 . Unfortunately his was located on Venus, and all the Venusians complained about all the immigrants working at there seven-eleves, and how they coudnt even buy a soft drink without a translator.

[HLGStrider]

This, of course, was a legitament concern, so Bob invested twenty bucks in a Star Trek style universal transalator.

Unfortunately it went haywire and every time he tried to count out the Venetian Women's change they slapped him... he wasn't sure why....

[Rogue666666]

SO Bob, decided that this whole seven-eleven thing wasn't for him. Unfortunately, every time he tried to walk out the door he smacked into an invisible wall.

"Well", thought Bob, " I'll just have to dig my way out."

Calculating the radius of the planet, and using his superb mathmatic skills, he estimated that he could reach the planet core using straws in approxamtely 35 million years.

Unfortunately for Bob, his calculation was off by a couple trillion digits.

ooc: Is this thread ever going to end?

[Wonko The Sane]

And suddenly they were all run over by a lorry.

[HLGStrider]

And Weird Al cut off his remaining arms and legs with a chainsaw yelling "NO IT WILL NEVER END! YOU WILL BE STUCK IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE FOREVER UNTI HOSHI DEMATERIALIZES!"

[Wonko The Sane]

And then someone was like, "You are SOOO wrong. AND I don't like your nose."

[HLGStrider]

NOT WRONG! NEVER WRONG! Bob starts to cry and goes on tour with Weird Al.

[Wonko The Sane]

And he became so self conscious that he got a nose job.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and joined all the harrison fords getting facelifts, and after was coffe and dounuts!

[Wonko The Sane]

At the revolving restaurant at the top of the highest volcano in the world.

Which is...

[HLGStrider]

not there anymore because when Bob was eating he accidentally pushed a button which he thought would summon the waiter and it blew the whole place sky high... except for Bob who sat there with his tea cup waiting for the sugar.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then the volcano erupted.

[Rogue666666]

And so Bob, the Great, bob, the Splendid, Bob the Magnifecent, Bob, The Wonderful, Bob, The Majestic, Bob, the powerfull, and Bob, the Nine fingered, and.... O wait, wrong story. So they praised him with great praise, and the King screamed, Praise them with Great Praise! And a minstrel was called for and, singing for 8 hours, fronm afternoon to sunset, and finishing with, " PRAISE THEM WITH GREAT PRAISE! By then Frod, o, I mean Bob, realized that he was on the verge of Plagarism, so he stopped and took stock of his life.

Later that evening him, and the other four hobbits sat down and talked long into the night, with Legolas and Gimli joining them later. Ahh, am glad your here with me at the end of all things, said Bob. Or... Wait, I was suposed to say that earlier in the story wasnt I?

Whatever!

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Actually bob, due to y our enourmous pladurism...your being imprisoned." Legolas said,"you better come with us>' and bob was led to an ice cream parlour, "the ice scream man has tortures prepared" gimli said.

[Rogue666666]

NO! NO! Bob screamed, but it was to late. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!! His voice faded as the ice cream man drug him away to the torture chambers.

[Ol'gaffer]

Bob woke into an excruciating pain that was quite surprisingly coming from his left groin.
Confused of everything around him bob acted purely on his survival instinct and grabbed the nearest thing that he could find and began swinging it like a maniac around him. 30 seconds later Gimli, Legolas, three hobbits, a mad ice cream vender and a small german shepard that had absolutely no purpose in this story what-so-ever where lying unconsious on the secret layers floor.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than merry and pippin said to bob, "Want some lembas? Just dont eat too much...bad gas"

[Ecthelion]

Bob decided to try some, and he loved it. He had more and more and more. And soon he ripped a huge f a r t and went flying into the sky.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:we never stray to far from that smeelly topic do we

then gandalf put bob on a tree and said...

[Rogue666666]

Now maybe if you stay up there long enough you can get some sence in that brain of yours. Once you've told were all the palantir have gone and how to get to the land of the undying I'll let you down!

Unfortunately, Bob had no idea were all the Palantir were, or even WHAT the undying lands were so he sat, and he sat and he sat, and he sat, and he,.....

fell.

Yep, what a surprise.

[HLGStrider]

DOGS! THE DOGS ARE COMING! BEWARE OF THE DOGS! DOGS AND SPAM ARTISTS!

[Wonko The Sane]

*And as Wonks spits on the screen thinking Elgee wrote sperm artists and then spits again noticing Ecthelion's phallic avatar she writes*

And then they all got sent to the hoosegow in a paddywagon for thinking horribly dirty thoughts.

[Rogue666666]

Then bob realized that his entire existence was a mistake.

[HLGStrider]

Not wanting to prolong things he took up kickboxing and bungee jumping... He then joined a trapeez group and became famous for his belly flop.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then Brak appeared to shower the group with peanuts.

[Ol'gaffer]

Then, out of no where. Called by the master peanut, there came THE OLIFAUNT!!

[Wonko The Sane]

And the Oliphaunt said, "Hey! Look! We're on page 69!" and he giggled and said, "That's so dirty."

[Ol'gaffer]

To which sam replied "no one at home's gonna believe us"

to which Gollum replied "yesssss. Preciousss,kinnnnkyy it issss."

[Tar-Ancalime]

than gollum said to sam: "you'd never believe what masters falling for, would you precious! She is a gigantic spider!" Sam enraged said,"Aye gollum, I knew you were trixy!" than gollum started to walk around in a circle, chased by sam and saying, "precios, precious the master of the precious. Precious preciou the master of the precious"

[Ecthelion]

Then, Bob jumped up out of his bed sweating buckets. He wiped his face and smiled, thinking it was all a dream. Then as he went into the breajfeast room. He plunged into a giant hole and fell for hours upon hours upon hours..........

[Wonko The Sane]

And when he landed he landed in the lap of a smiling orc.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:wonks that is very nasty

than the orc tried to embrace bob but he ran away for miles until he hit helms deep.

[Wonko The Sane]

And the orc chased him...

Only to be exploded when Helm's Deep was breeched.

[omnipotent_elf]

little did that orc realise that he was the orcs olympic torch runner, and he was the one who blew up the walls.
he thought that torch was so harmless

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he fell into the awaiting arms of Haldir... and when the battle was nigh, and aragorn screamed to Legolas, "Shoot him down!" the deeping wall was lost not because of the eagerness and hatred of the uruk hai, but because legolas needed clarification on who to shoot down, theodon or the orc. The dialouge went kind of like this,

Aragorn:Shoot him down!
Legolas:Who?! Theodon?
Aragorn: NO! you nancing elf the...*boom*
Legolas: Opps? I guess i wasnt quick enough

[Wonko The Sane]

And then Legolas swooned because he saw a vision of loveliness:

Haldir the Very Gay Elf.

[Rogue666666]

Bob, sat there disgusted, thinking about the possibility of Legolas bieng gay.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than both wonko and rouge66666 were flogged for even questioning legolas' masculinity

[HLGStrider]

Which is why the Hungry Cows attacked. nd the aliens were sapping earth's power using electric blankets and mind control toothpaste.

[Wonko The Sane]

Mind control toothpaste!?!? LOL!

And then Wonks took it back because Legolas is NOT gay.

But Haldir the Very Gay Elf...is VERY VERY gay.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but "No Borormir does this right, Boromir does this right....but Never faramir a good job!" said faramir

[Wonko The Sane]

And then Haldir the Very Gay Elf nanced right up to that Faramir and gave him a very flamboyant kiss on the lips.

At which point Faramir went off and married a woman to get the prancing elf off his case.

That woman was...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Eowyn!

[Wonko The Sane]

And not a man named Steve as previously suspected.

[omnipotent_elf]

or was it.....

[Tar-Ancalime]

it was not haldir as well

[HLGStrider]

Obviously as it had been suspected and there was doubt no one knew for sure because when there is doubt you can't know for sure, but things were hazy... or so hazy. Not as hazy as they were nebulous but not as nebulous as they were redundant. It was a useless, repetitive redundency...

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Fine, I'll tell!" Bob said, "Its me! I'm Faramir's love...or is that haldir.."

[HobbitGirl]

And then HobbitGirl raised one eyebrow and traveled by a giant nylon slingshot to that one place where you can change your name. She changed her last name to Barshnozulutz because she was sick of having the most boring last name on the planet or in any of the alternate dimensions.

[HLGStrider]

and she was destroyed by a bolt of lightening but got to come back as a beatiful butterfly who spent her time fluttering in one of Haldir's ears and out the other.

[HobbitGirl]

"This sucks," HobbitGirl muttered to herself. "Haldir is so gay I can't stand it. It makes me want to change my name back to Smith."

And then she turned into a rock.

[Rogue666666]

BOb, realizing that the story had strayed from its main character screamed for attention, but then he fell down.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and down!

[HLGStrider]

The rock that was now a Smith named Hobbit Girl was stuck in the middle of Haldir's brain... that was odd... Bob had to opperate to get her out of their because HG was crying and weeping and pleading to escape. Bob took a crash course in brain surgery.

[HobbitGirl]

Finally Bob got HG out of Haldir and she thanked Bob heartily. Suddenly HobbitGirl was ravenously hungry so she decided to become a partridge-eating rock. She snagged a partridge out of the air and devoured it, then swelled to the size of a boulder and tumbled down the hill.

[HLGStrider]

The Blues Brothers sang... ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN' WATCH HOBBIT GIRL A ROLLIN' KEEP HOBBIT GIRL A ROLLIN' RAWHIDE!

Bob danced in sunglasses.

[Rogue666666]

This is absolutley ridiculuos thougth Bob.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than he ran into the ultimate korean boyfriend who was totally obsessed with this girl...

[Ol'gaffer]

"what girl?" bob asked,
"This broad called Arwen" the korean guy said
"though luck, she's taken" Bob said.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than the ultimate Korean boyfriend punched bob, the girl came in and said,"hahahahahaha!"

[Rogue666666]

Jeez, this story is REALLY degrading, thought Bob. Maybe I should spice it up a bit. So he joined a jazz band, toured the Universe, and then he signed a contract with Bon Jovi.


"It's my life!, Now or never!, I ain't gonna live for ever!"

Finally, after Bob made millions at his music career, he decided to sign on as an extra in Hollywood. He helped in
'Bar Wars: Attack of the Phones' and other such classic blockbuster titles. Then he signed on a contract with
Farminator 3. There he co-stared as an extra with Barnold Wartzasnigher. His famous and only line in the movie, "Uhmphh", spoken as he bumped into Barnold in scene two made him an instant classic in hollywood history.

[HLGStrider]

Oh yes, Bob was on the top of his game and made employee of the month at his studios. They had a party in his honor with the tango dancing camels and a stack of subsandwitches... with chocolate sauce! Bob's favorite.

[Rogue666666]

Finally, coming to the conclusion that his popularity would make him president, Bob went into politics. In fact, he was even elected to president, of The United Arab emirates.

[Tar-Ancalime]

But the ultimate korean Boyfriend was angry! And sabotaged every singel business venture of bob

[Ol'gaffer]

But bob was no fool. Everynight after his succes had taken air, he had turned on the "Angry Korean" detector machine and he knew all of the korean guys plans.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than he noticed that the ultimate korean bf couldn't reveal his plans cause he had magical plan unrevealr potion

[Rogue666666]

But Bob didn't care. He had so much money as the President of the U.A.E that he just laughed, bought a couple hundred chemonuclear weapons and wasted North Koreans everywhere. Then he hired a mercanary army to capture and torture all the South Koreans.

Finally, he got on with his life.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Tar got slightly angry since her utlimate BF was tortured that she sent a message from mordor, a nuke.

[Ol'gaffer]

But for humanitarian reasons he strapped it with a fruit basket on the side.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then the Ultimate Korean Boyfriend Part II appeared to sing, "Pretty in Pink".

[HLGStrider]

Who let the dogs out?
IT WAS PETER PIPER!

[Tar-Ancalime]

"huh! Say how did i get left out?" yelled Bob, but due to the evil pretty in pink song, and stevo, Mr. Political singing "I feel Pretty" in a purple, frilly dress. No one herd him

[Ol'gaffer]

there was only one thing to do. Bob went around and gathered all the b-pop stars he new and began a sing along to defeat the evil korean boyfriend for ever.

[HLGStrider]

It didn't work... but they did get a record contract after a night on American Idol.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then the Dark Queen beat the Ol' Gaffer for calling her Korean Boyfriend evil.

[HLGStrider]

Bob and the mysterious lady entered the dark tavern. Bob sat down for a pint but soon noticed he was being watched by a shadowy figure in the corner, smoking his pipe with muddy boots on the table, he called to the inn keeper.
"Who is that masked man?" he inquired.
"He is one of those Men in black," Butterbur replied. "What his right name is I've never heard, but around here we call him the Dread Pirate Roberts..."
Later that night Bob slipped on a bannana peel and ended up in that corner.
"I'd like to talk with you about something that concerns me and my friends," Roberts frowned.
"What?" stammered Bob, wondering where his lady friend had gone.
"Iocaine powder..."
Just then Luke Skywalker burst in and asked to check Roberts to see if he had seven fingers and twenty fingernails. When it turned out that he did, Luke burst out with.
"I AM LUKE SKYWALKER! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!"
"But Luke," stammered Roberts. "It is I! Your father, Aragorn."
Then the mysterious female flung herself onto Wesley's lap...

[Tar-Ancalime]

but alas for Bob, the mix of galaxies made his head spin he said, "wait! wasn't darth vader your father?" than people shushed Bob and siad, "Silly mortal, the movie for that hasnt been filmed!"

[HLGStrider]

The mysterious girl was still mysterious since Tar had given her absolutely no name... She was therefore cast into the outer darkness...

and since even I don't know whether she refers to Tar or the mysterious girl that is a mystery too.

[Tar-Ancalime]

i'll have you know, her parents forgot to name her!

[HLGStrider]

DANG! I should've thought of that.

[Tar-Ancalime]

hahhaahahahahahaha

[Wonko The Sane]

And then someone shot whoever was writing the story about the Dread Pirate Roberts scene in the face with a water filled balloon because anyone who's READ "The Princess Bride" will know that the handsome young man's name is actually "Westley" and not "Wesley" as it's so horribly misspelled in the movie credits.

[Ol'gaffer]

Bob decided that the only thing to do to get rid of the EVIl korean boyfriend, was to have a plastic surgery to fool that took and finally be rid of his stupidity. so it was off to LA the home of plastic surgery and silicon.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar who was not too keen on namecalling began to call Bob a "spooty-pooty, lizard licker, orangatange molester,dog bum sniffer she male"

[Ol'gaffer]

Which made Bob to break up in tears.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then the less attractive Angry Beaver arrived to shout "Spootie-spoot-spoot-head!!!" and explain the meaning of SPAWN.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"stop insulting us precious!" Bob said over and over.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then Daggit explained:

SPAWN stands for

Smashing
Property
And
Whomping
Norb

[Tar-Ancalime]

"You fiend!" screamed Bob, "How can you hurt you better than you, cuter than you older brother....he is so hot!"

[HLGStrider]

Elgee has too read the book... and knows it wasn't really the pit of despair it was the Zoo of Death... or something like that.... SILLY DUCK!

[Tar-Ancalime]

"A guy...thinks my brothers hot! OMG!" dagget said.

[Ol'gaffer]

And that had no point to this tale what-so-ever. :D

[HLGStrider]

But nothing has anything to do with this story... with the exception of the unknown seventh dimension.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which is in itslef a paradox of pandora boxes

[Tar-Ancalime]

and haldir the very gay elf was in a frilly pink dress singing "I feel pretty" for glorifindel. who himself was performing , " I gotta wash that man right out of my hair" in the next act in a tankini bathing suit

[HobbitGirl]

A VARIETY SHOW! HOOORAY!

All at once a stage, cameras, and audience appeared and all the perfomers were nervously going over thier acts backstage. After Glorfindel's act, it was Bob's turn to shine. Wearing his ceremonial pijamas which he was wearing when all the confusion started on that fateful morning when he fell down a hole, Bob walked out onto the stage like he was the King of the West. He stepped up to the microphone and paused.

Alright Bob, he thought to himself. This is your big moment. After all the craziness, after all the death and rebirth, after all the Harrison Ford monotone acting schools <shudder>, this is what it's all been leading up to. This is what's gonna pay it all off. I'll show the Dieties that I'm a discrace to the human race! I'll show them all just how much this Bob is worth!

Bob began his act, which was....

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Poor Jud is dead"...but he choked up and began to curl up in a ball saying my precious over and over again. than the slightly over supportive, and slightly touchy support of Glorifindel and Haldir found bob in a complex place, where he was soon to be spongebathed, with glorfindel and haldir.

[Tar-Ancalime]

During this time Arwen, and Galadriel sang a duet, "If momma got married". this included a grand tap number.

[HLGStrider]

Then Westley and Wesley rushed onto the stage dragging Robin Wright-Penn along with them. They started to Can Can and then Robin married Frank Sinatra.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"You idiots!" arwen screamed, "This is my number! Not yours!" Galadriel left the stage thinking what an impatient wretch my grandaughter is!.Then she sent a message to Elrond, "Let your daugther stay here, she would make valinor want to kick her out."

[HLGStrider]

Which is why Elrond got her a mercedes for her wedding... Arwen couldn't wait up for him and didn't want to marry Prince Vallium so she took off in it and was snared by PATRICK STEWART'S CLONE!

Evil music.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then dark helmet caught her and began to attempt to seduce her

[HLGStrider]

But she hit him over the head with a frying pan and was rescued by Glorfindel... who then got into an argument with Aragorn over hair tips.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but since Aragorn had crappy hair Glorifindel won easily.

[HLGStrider]

But Aragorn got the last laugh because when someone started to ring out his hair they found out there was actually no oil shortage whatsoever and everyone got a good laugh at Saddam Hussaine whose own oil supply was puny compared to that of the Aragorn-Hair-Oil company.

[HobbitGirl]

But Boromir, who washed his hair less than Aragorn did, set up a rival Boromir-Hair-Oil company just to spite him (and to impress Arwen too!).

[HLGStrider]

Which was useless because Arwen had already married lonestar and moved to Pittsburg. She was quite happy there and spent the rest of her days crochetting doilies. In fact she started a huge doily business and entered the fortune five hundred and had her picture, wearing only doilies, on the front of Forbes magazine. Of course it sold out.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Meanwhile...Bob was getting spongebathed by haldir who was tickling him....such torture

[Wonko The Sane]

And then someone arrived and was like, "GLORFINDEL'S A BEAST!!!"
and ran off.

While everyone else agreed.

Glorfindel was, indeed, a beast.

[Tar-Ancalime]

haldir was quite insulted at the implication of his 'buddy' who likes 'coupling' being a beast so he chased the evil man away...meanwhile bob escaped...even though he smelled like stawberries

[Ol'gaffer]

But because Bob escaped the universal counsel of scoundrels declared him a weasel and in one fleeting second bob was turned into one.

[HLGStrider]

Of course Weesel is a writing term for words and phrases like kind of and Very so Bob went around as a very for six centuries.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and my god, he hated it. Being used all time, as in very interestingly good, Very wholsome, or the usual Very ambiguous (as in case with Haldir and Glorifindels very ambiguos relationship which is Very disturbing.)

[HLGStrider]

Very very very...

THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN HE WENT THROUGH A MIDLIFE CRISIS AND VARIED! He was now a vary instead of a very.

[Tar-Ancalime]

so he was used in math classes...also known as the spanish inquistion.

[HLGStrider]

hey! The Spaniards protested. You're giving us a bad name.

The vary was attacked by the Spaniards, including Inigo, and thrown into the Star Fissure while Atrus did this cool voice over and linked home with Catherine for a bit of the bubbly.

[Tar-Ancalime]

who was still suffering tremendously over her loss of henry to that ungrateful whore anne boylen..

[HobbitGirl]

Miracle Max cringed at the sound of Boyeln. "Liar! Liar! Liaar!" screamed Max's witch/wife. "I'm not listening!" Max said. "Boylen!" shouted the Wife. "Boylen Boylen Boylen!" Max ran around the shack covering his ears while Fezzik laughed and munched on Pez.

[lossenandunewen]

but the pez turned out to be avacado flavored, and he was reduced to a hunched over vomit pile



(pleasant no? i forgot what i was originally going to write)

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Catherine, Jane seymore, and Anne Boylen got into a total cat fight over who was the most legitimate.

[Ol'gaffer]

Which was only to be interrupted by Anne Robinson who declard Bob as the Geakest link and sent him into limbo.

The others continued their cat fight three seconds later.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Anne Boylen Screamed, "Henry's MY husband!" and then shot Catherine in the heart...Henry finally interfered to the dismay of most men.

[HLGStrider]

Atrus looked at Bob in Limbo and Henry the Eighth and said "Huh?"

He then got a job as the lead singer of Hermans' Hermits and Sang "I'M HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM!" over and over again.

[Tar-Ancalime]

meanwhile...His six wifes battled out who was his real life and due to Anne's ferrocity she was the first to be voted out, Because of Catherines of Aragons annoying claims to queenship, she was second. Anne of Cleeves was rather sheltered and naive and quit after being pursuaded by Catherine howard, who was later removed for adultery, The big winner was....Catherine Parr...who was dead but two days later...However since Jane Seymore never participated she was the offical winner...yay for jane

[HLGStrider]

Atrus asked Bob to join the band, and he did, as a stage hand. Then one night as he was carrying a bunch of strobe lights...

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he was possesd by the wandering spirit of Michael Jackson!

[Ol'gaffer]

Which caused his nose to fall off!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Sir Thomas More's ghost began to lecture bob on modesty

[Ol'gaffer]

Which caused Bob absolutely no harm but drove the wandering spirit of Michael Jackson into utter insanity.

[HLGStrider]

Bob started to shake and fell down foaming at the mouth. He then was measured for a suit by this terribly weird tailor who looked a lot like Haldir.

[Ecthelion]

I just want to ask if anyone besides me feels sorry for poor Bob. I feel sorry for him. If he ever makes it back to his normal life he'll be tramatized.

[HLGStrider]

Bob suddenly realized what a terrible life he had. He got up and ran after the only person who felt sorry for him, Ecthilon, yelling "I need a hug!"

[omnipotent_elf]

while running with arms outstretched, Bob is crashed tackled of a bridge

[Wolfshead]

And managed to crack a tooth. Which he then proceeded to glue back on, only to stick his lips together. So, he went along to the hospital, but he couldn't explain what had happened to him, due to the glue, so they removed one of his kidneys.

[omnipotent_elf]

and woke to find a second liver, and extra foot within his chest

[HLGStrider]

These enabled him to leep tall buildings in a single bound... I don't know why. They just did.

He started doing this professionally, but then the economy crashed and congress passed a law outlawing Building Bounding.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then the NBBBP(National building bouncing banning patrol) hired Sir Thomas more to be the 'offical Ghost detective'

[Ecthelion]

Bob took one last jump for old times sake and when he jumped he landed in Britain. HE looked around and then saw aliens come out of the sky. He suddenly turned into a Scottsman stuck his right hand out in front of him and started walking to Scottland(anyone know where I got that from?)

[Tar-Ancalime]

and sir tomas more met up with bob, he told bob he needed to visit a priest and confess his sins....later the NBBBP hired the spanish inquisition and Bloody Mary. IT was renamed "NBBBAPP" (The national bouncing building baning against protestants patrol)

[HLGStrider]

But Bob was so confused trying to think up where it was from that he forgot to go to confession and ended up selling lightbulbs at Seers.

[omnipotent_elf]

*which led to a thunderbolt falling from the sky, and smiting Bob and his lighbulbs*
when he fell due to this strike, haldir was the first at the scene...............*

[Tar-Ancalime]

and took Bob as a 'hostage of love'

[HLGStrider]

along with two, twin pandas, and an octopus named Leonard Nimoy... Spock then sued the Octopus and won Bob in the court case... How illogical.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob who was sorely confused by this was finally apprehended by Sir Thomas More...

[HLGStrider]

"Hey!" cried Spock. "That's my Bob! Jim! Jim! They're stealing my Bob! Give me my Bob back!"

Janeway entered the room, cast a snide look at Spock and said to Tuvok, "What a baby!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Anne Boylen said, "NO! Bob is my sex toy!"

[HLGStrider]

Everyone looked at her really weird so she grabbed onto the nearest king and jumped off the tower of London... Bob then married Mary Queen of Scots and posed for a portrait wearing twenty live weasels in front of the Eiffle Tower.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but since it wasn't built yet...it was just a prophesy! Then Henry Said in a very loud way, "Show me to my bride-groom!"

[HLGStrider]

Bob, who had not known that lightbulbs predated the Eiffle Tower, was confused.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then henry took bob in his arms, kissed him on the mouth and then began to caress his ****(edited for content). Bob was mortified

[HobbitGirl]

He was so mortified, in fact, that he ran away blindly until he fell on Calypso's island and was held captive for seven years. Odessyeus decked Bob when he tried to hit on Calypso. Then Hermes came and told Calypso that she had to relase Bob, so Calypso sulkily chucked Bob into the ocean.

[Ecthelion]

Problem was, Bob couldn't swim. HE sunk like a rock to the bottom and then found a jar of pickles that he put over his head to breath. Then he jumped and ended up jumping a building and got arrested. When in jail he got really close with his African jailmate, Raul.

[Tar-Ancalime]

But then bob felt an urge to go digging...and dug and dug...

[Ecthelion]

and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug and dug until he finally came back to normal ground and he was in China so he went to have some goose.

[HLGStrider]

Ok, guys. Watch the content a bit...
Especially you, Tar.

He undermined the Eiffle Tower and crumpled the Bastille. He was then mugged by Jean My-Mind-Goes-Blank-On-The-Last-Name, and the entire cast of Les Miserables AND the Tale of Two Cities.

[Tar-Ancalime]

moi? I will

but got bored of literarry refrences and had a nice nap

[HLGStrider]

It was a ten thousand year nap...

[Tar-Ancalime]

which lasted so long even elves died.

[Ol'gaffer]

Causing chaos all over the world. No more supermodels to drool over for!!!!!

[Tar-Ancalime]

then the cast of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom freed all the little hobbit children!

[Ol'gaffer]

Huh? :confused:
Who were all trapped by the evil ballhog of molia.

[Wolfshead]

Then Bob, who was feeling suddenly peckish, went down to Burger King, and asked for a Big Mac. They chased him out with brooms.

[Tar-Ancalime]

commanded by the wicked witch of the west

[Lossen Vana]

Who then turned poor bob into a mouse and sent him to work as a stunt double for Mickey Mouse.

[Ecthelion]

But the witch was not done with him so she sent her flying monkeys to bring Bob to her lair in The land of Oz

[Tar-Ancalime]

which were pink!

[Lossen Vana]

And humed to the tune of "I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves..."

[HLGStrider]

Bob was going insane. He was trapped in a car on a dark free way with that song going and he knew he had to escape or Nurse Diesel would destroy him!

[omnipotent_elf]

but he realisesd he wasnt insane when multicoloured zebras came out of everywhere and tackled bob before asking him to go bareback zebra riding

[Tar-Ancalime]

then his nightmares pursued him!

[Lossen Vana]

And then he desided enough vodka before bed and desided to go fishing.

[HLGStrider]

A large whale pulled him and dragged him down and down and down... he ended up in its stomach with Jonah and Captain Ahab who got him into a rather dubious game of five card draw.

[Lossen Vana]

Just when he thought things couldn't get worse, Rich from survivor came over in his birthday suit.

[Tar-Ancalime]

eww said bob

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob coved his eyes and set fire to the whale escaping, then gets swallow by an elf.

[HobbitGirl]

The elf is none other than Haldir the Very Gay. Bob screamed and screamed.

[Lossen Vana]

The the elf saw Rich and bob crawed out of his mouth escaping, because the gay elf feel in love.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which was really disturbing

[Lossen Vana]

bob then after taking a bath desided to go in for major theropy.

[HLGStrider]

But after hearing his story the doctors all went crazy and shot themselves... and Bob was arrested.

[Wonko The Sane]

And when he got to jail he found out his cellmate was Paul Reubens, aka PeeWee Herman. And he was constantly exposing himself.

So Bob took a large pillow and smothered Paul in his sleep.
And the next day when the guards came to check on them they found Paul dead and Bob escaped with the aid of only a plastic spoon and a lithium ion battery, which he had used to.....

[Tar-Ancalime]

eat all the puding than make himself big using the litium battery and rolled out of the prison.

[Lossen Vana]

Then he was chased down by Matrtha Stewet saying, "I never did it honest!"

[HLGStrider]

She fell down a hole and was never seen again. Bob looked down the hole and dropped in a penny, making a wish that...

[Lossen Vana]

He could dance in the New York ballet.

[Tar-Ancalime]

sadly he did not pronounce well enough and began to float in a bubble watching hte new york ballet

[omnipotent_elf]

*and then due to some exploding flatulence, was blown airbourne*

[HobbitGirl]

He flew and flew, and finally plopped down in the land of Oz in the country of the Munchkins. Bob looked at the little people curiously.
"Are you hobbits?" he asked them.
"What's a hoppit?" one Munchkin squeaked.
"Apparently not," said Bob. He looked around. "Um...you wouldn't happen to know where I can find a Seven-Eleven near here, would you?"
The Munchkins all looked at him like he was a fruit fly-infested grapefruit.

[omnipotent_elf]

*then 50 fruit fly infested grapefruit come out from nowhere and hit bob.....*

[HLGStrider]

Then he realized that they were not Hobbits. They were HABBITS! And infamously bad ones at that. The infamous Bad Habbits attacked Bob habitually. The worst Habbit was the Grape Fruit diet Habbit who forced poor Bob to eat the nasty, worm ridden things.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then he was saved by the wicked witch of the west

[HobbitGirl]

But since she was evil and tricksy, the Witch only saved Bob so that she could make him go to work for her. She forced Bob to balance her checkbook every hour of every day of the week, and that nasssssty witch wouldn't even let Bob go to the bathroom.

[Lossen Vana]

So he had an accident and drown the witch.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which was downright nasty.

[HLGStrider]

And Steve Martin told him, "Comedy ain't Pretty."

He then put an atom bomb up his nose and pretended to sneeze.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which was nasty too

[omnipotent_elf]

and then many many zebras came out and tackled everyone for good fun

[Ol'gaffer]

Followed by numerous Zebra hunters equipped with bomerang shrapnel and kengurus wired with explosives.

[Lossen Vana]

Then the zebras won by mooning them like they saw in Braveheart.

[HLGStrider]

Gosh all mighty... that was REALLY nasty...

Nasty hobbitesses...

[Tar-Ancalime]

poor hobitsees

[Lossen Vana]

Then the zebras desided to play pin the tail on the hobbit.

[omnipotent_elf]

which resulted in a burst hobbit

[Lossen Vana]

Then the zebras ate all the candy that came out of him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

" I see queen mab hath been with you!" the Zebra said.

[Lossen Vana]

It's pronounced Math! He said giving the Zebra a cold drop.

[Wolfshead]

The zebra didn't like that so it punched Bob. As a result, he fell in some zebra droppings, face first.

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob laughed evily, and ran face first into a wall.

[Tar-Ancalime]

making him as ditzy as sailor moon

[HLGStrider]

an artist painted over him, using him for texture in a mural. He spent twenty years on that wall. Then it was denounced as bad art and the artist burnt it in shame.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he became a french flapper farting machine

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob ran around screeming "My Busicuts are burnin!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

which if thought about in the right context is just weird.

[HLGStrider]

But taken in context it was rather normal... as normal as things get in the underworld which is wear Bob was sent. In the underworld people wear only underwear and eat upside down cakes.. nobody knows why.

[Tar-Ancalime]

hahahahahhahahahahaahha, bob said

[HLGStrider]

But then he realized that he was still wearing his pink, Barbie boxers. He turned bright red and was mistaken for a tall tomato. he ended up on veggie tales where he was squashed by FrankenCelery.

[Lossen Vana]

Then a flying monkey ate him thinking he was squash.

[HLGStrider]

So Bob was again cast into the outer darkness and made to watch old television reruns while Tony played his accordian in the back ground.

[Lossen Vana]

Then he was sucked into reruns of the brady bunch

[HLGStrider]

Brother... Bob thought as he jumped rope with Cindy.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but the light at the end of the tunnel appeared...."The Fonz", came and said, "Hey, got some chics outside, and I don wanna keep em waitin"

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob got hit in the nose with a football.

[Tar-Ancalime]

the fonz was convinced bob was not made of the 'right stuff', and gave the extra girl to richie cunningham

[omnipotent_elf]

and bob screamed, eyes closed, and when he opened them he was in M*A*S*H

[Tar-Ancalime]

but since Tar knows nothing about that show she changed the subject and he was now on Threes company1

[Lossen Vana]

Then they all invited The Munsters over.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then Tar dumpeed the refrences to old TV shows. and joined the monty python gang.

[Lossen Vana]

Then asked how fast dose a swallow flap his wings?

[HLGStrider]

but not before Joshua Girraffe had carried off Bob's lucky snorkel to Albequerque... Which was tragic. Bob was condemned to eat saurkruat.

[Lossen Vana]

Witch he did with relish.

[HLGStrider]

Which was against the rules. You eat hot dogs with relish but not saurkraut. Upon hearing that Bob had broken the rules Qui Gon Jin swept in and started to whip him with a wet noodle while making him listen to Jar Jar Binks.
"Stop!" Bob pled. "Stop! This is torture!"
Then Janet Reno sent him back to Cuba.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Gurgle!" said sad bob

[HLGStrider]

The Cubans put him in a zoo with a label that stated he was a Capitalist Pig. They then danced the Macarena for him.

[HobbitGirl]

"Stop this madness!" Bob said. "You can't dance for beans! Leave me alone!" The Cubans just stuck thier tounges out at him and proceded to attempt the Grapevine, and they did that worse than the Macarena. "Please!" Bob shouted, banging on his bars. "I'm not a Capitolist, I swear! I'm a Communist! I'm a Commie, through and through!" The CIA heard Bob's confession to his Communism an sentenced him to exile in China, where he met up with Confucius and started trying to reform the government.

[HLGStrider]

He tried to teach the Chinese to Tango in a square of note... and got ran over by a tank.

[Lossen Vana]

Then he ate a perogie and danced the polka all the way to germany.

[omnipotent_elf]

to which homer simpson was sitting there eating donuts saying mmmmmmmmm donuts, is there anythign they cant do?

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob thought, "Why the heck am i still alive!" and he killed himself. Bob died again!

[Lossen Vana]

Then homer dropped a magical donught onto bobs body and bob came back to life as a jelly doghnut.

[HLGStrider]

That had been his life long ambition, so for the length of one post... one brief post... he just sat there feeling happy...

[Wonko The Sane]

But then he started screaming "I HATE MY LIFE I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF SOMETHING REALLY TALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And then he started crying about things like time zones, and VISAs and things.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"AIIIIIEEEEE!" bob yelled as he jumped off the side of a kiddie pool.

[HLGStrider]

On the other side of the pool was a large, deep hole. Bob fell...

The hole was lined with observation decks where people came to watch Bob fall. It was a really big hit.

[Lossen Vana]

And all the jelly was knocked out of him. Then he was thinking about how this whole thing started, and desided to stay away from holes. Expecailly deep holes.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then he fell over.
Into a vat of Jell-O.

Burning HOT Jell-O.

And he was hideously burned and scarred for life.
And no amount of plastic surgery could save him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

so the diets said..."Bob we expell you from living any longer.."

[Wonko The Sane]

And then he said, "my head hurts.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but ghosts cant feel pain, can they?

[HobbitGirl]

So Bob was a ghost. He traveled the world haunting various places at his leisure and popping out of walls to scare the bagezes out of people. Eventually, Bob got tired of being diembodied and sued the Dietys for killing him. He won, but only because he had hired O.J. Simpson's lawer. This, however, backfired on him, because now that he was alive he had to pay the lawer all kinds of outrageous fees. To escape the lawer's thugs from turning him upside down and tickling him until he handed over his wallet, Bob became an outlaw and went into hiding. He spent his days selling Furbies on the Black Market.