Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[Lossen Vana]

And then becames friends with Jar-Jar Binks. Because he was being sold on the black market.

[HLGStrider]

So was Barbie and Dana Carvey and a bunch of other untouchables.

[Wonko The Sane]

Who were just screaming to be touched.

"TOUCH ME!! TOUCH ME" They screamed!

[HLGStrider]

It turned into a giant game of touch football without a ball... which was really hard to coach because everybody said they had the ball even though it was quite impossible because in untouchable touch football there are only twenty-six balls, not three hundred... it was just impossible...

THEN THE IMP'S WHO ARE POSSIBLE ATTACKED!

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob had a heart attack, tring to keep up with the new rules, and found himself on the set of Scrubs.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then someone burst into the room with an Uzi and a paintball gun and started shooting everyone.
Including Barnaby, Cornelius, Irene, and Minnie.
Becuase they all suck, and none of them are elegant.

[Lossen Vana]

The paint then mutated Bob into an ape and he was cast into the new movie "Planet of the Apes: Part 6, billion"

[Tar-Ancalime]

however the movie sucked!

[HLGStrider]

But with that budget what did they expect?

Bob had to spend the rest of his life in the background of the February picture for a Mary Englebriet callender behind a big blue flower.

[Lossen Vana]

Then he desided he liked the way he looked hidden behind flowers and posed nude.

[Rogue666666]

Which he was arrested for, as it was illegal to pose nude on the Planet of the Apes.


Their the lawyer cuaght up with him and he counter-invested-sued-transacted-divuldged all of bob's money. So bob got a job working at 7-11

again.

[Wonko The Sane]

Until he caught a glimpse of his thighs in the mirror, freaked out irrationally, and decided he'd better go on a three week diet and excercise kick in hopes of losing major poundage.

[Lossen Vana]

Then ***Edited by Ancalagon*** told him to go on jared subway diet and he did losing 200 hundred pounds....and reduce your signature length.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which he promptly gained again when he realised he would never be thin...

[Lossen Vana]

Then he cried and mr. rodgers came over and comforted him with his puppets.

[HLGStrider]

NEVER FEAR! LAMB CHOP IS HERE!

And that was the end of the sheep because Piglet said Bah Ram Ewe and somthing BAD happened.

[Lossen Vana]

Bob got hungry and ate Lamp chops

[HLGStrider]

He was attacked by seven hundred and fifty two and one half severely traumatized children. They all grew up to be lawyers.

[Lossen Vana]

Bob screamed. Then Mr. Rodgers calmed the childish lawyers and they all began to suck there thumbs.

[HLGStrider]

Which was not good because they all got bad teeth and had to sue Mr Rodger. Their orthodontist was a man named Worthing who was in favor of dental blasting, using TNT, to rid people of nasty overbites.

[Lossen Vana]

Bob tried it then died from the blast to his head.

[HLGStrider]

He was buried under neath the white house and he began to haunt it.

[Lossen Vana]

Then bush woke up and screemed in his nightgown. Then Bob desided to run for pres. and shouted

BOB FOR APPLES!!!! VOTE FOR ME!

[HLGStrider]

Then he was foiled by Elgee who disgraced him in the middle of a press conference by insisting she wouldn't vote for anyone who wouldn't buy her a digital camera and take a picture of her in a blue tankini so she could win the Miss TTF contest....

http://www.thetolkienforum.com/showthread.php?postid=240406#post240406

That was very sad, don't you think?

[Lossen Vana]

So bob went to the darkside and took a picture of her with his brand new digaital camera.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which was all canceled out when...nevermind.

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob put on a bikinii and looked really displeasing...need I say more?

[Wonko The Sane]

Yes.
Because the poetry judges want MORE WORDS!

[Lossen Vana]

So bob who isn't very bright wrote MORE WORDS in big bold letters accross his farhead.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which incidentally turned out to be not such a wise move, as his farhead was QUITE DIRTY and so he erased it and wrote it on his tummy.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he killed them all every poetry judge!

[Wonko The Sane]

Which was disappointing becuase they were Vogon poetry judges, and therefore delciously awful.

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob ate them all. And took a bath.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which made him smell like....GRAPsE

[Wonko The Sane]

Or grapefruit.

[Lossen Vana]

And then he became very old and grew a long white beard.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which turned purple

[HobbitGirl]

But just then HobbitGirl's gorgeous green-eyed sweetheart got angry because each bit of the story was getting shorter and shorter. But HobbitGirl told him to cool his jets because he was being hyprocritical, so he proceded to hack Orcs to pieces for anger management. As soon as the word "orcs" was mentioned, a piercing shirek could be heard. It was Legolas, and the orc had given him a tangle and dirty cuticles. Aragorn called him a wussy, which Gimli responded to by chopping off Aragorn's legs.

[HLGStrider]

Aragorn went on sixty minutes and told his story... WHILE JUGGLING!

[Tar-Ancalime]

which did not entertain legolas as he was being held hostage by a fan named stefaie

[Lossen Vana]

Then Lossen's player stole Legolas and tied him up, and grined insanly, like a cat that just caught it's first bird.

[HLGStrider]

She then grew fangs and a tail and started to climb trees.

[Tar-Ancalime]

or legolas?

[Lossen Vana]

Yes indeed Legolas had turned into a cat to escape his captor.

[HLGStrider]

The dogs attacked, bringing giant milkbones and chew toys with them!

[Tar-Ancalime]

but she was just tickeled pink by this!(ooc:look at this pic)

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc- actually its this picture...Bob was just so happy to see it

[Rogue666666]

Bob was sick of this stupid story, so he asked the mods to delete the thread,


FOR THE SAKE OF ALL OF US WHO WHISH TO REMAIN SANE!

[Lossen Vana]

Bob then kicked rouge666666 in a place where it hurts the most. Saying he liked the adventures and the pic of legolas

[Wolfshead]

Then Bob politely asked Rogue666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 666666666666666 if it had occured to him to stop looking at the thread if he didn't like it?

[Tar-Ancalime]

bob said, "I know it drives you insane! Look at its victims!" hes aid pointing to tar, elgee, and otherrs

[HLGStrider]

DON'T LET IT DIE! IT MUST NEVER DIE!"

Bob begged. "Please don't kill it..." Bob melted into a puddle of warm butter.

[omnipotent_elf]

which was soon eating by a madagaskan(sp?) lemur

[Tar-Ancalime]

that decided the riki tiki tavi was like the coolest thing

[Lossen Vana]

And while he was with Riki Tiki Tavi they booked a trip to austrailia. Where bob got turned into Steve Irwin.

[HLGStrider]

Bob was confused because he didn't know off the top of his head who he was...

[Lossen Vana]

Then he started to yell "Crikey" and try to get bitten by poisonus snakes.

[Wonko The Sane]

And he screamed.

[omnipotent_elf]

the loud scream of an evil Genius

[Aulë]

Then Rambo came along, and did the world a favour by pumpng Steve Irwin full of lead.
A herd off kangaroos came hopping by, and carried Bob to the top of Ayers Rock, and made him play the didgeridoo.

[omnipotent_elf]

and this didgeridoo turned out to be a large pipe full of tabacco,

[Aulë]

To which Bob said to the kangaroos
"Is this Old Toby?"

[omnipotent_elf]

*for which he was boxed to peru*

[Aulë]

And he found a shriners hat

[Tar-Ancalime]

but in all honesty he felt deprived of his own personality and arranged a meeting that would send him to the begining of the story so he could find his personality

[Lossen Vana]

And so he found himself falling down a hole again.

[HLGStrider]

NO!" he begged. "Not the hole! Not the hole!"

Then he landed in a feather bed which was being bounced upon by a herd of kindergarteners. They mistook him for Elmo.

[Lossen Vana]

Then Snuffy came and ate him wanting to be in the spot light.

[HLGStrider]

Bob met a pack of Gremlins in Snuffy's stomach and started a rock band... they were out of sight, man...

[Lossen Vana]

Outta site till the docters operated and let them out of Snuffys tummy.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which turned out to be a big mistake cos the minute they were out they ate everybody with their KILLER jaws!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than the end of the world came! No not really

[Wonko The Sane]

What really came was the Barbie Doll Tar had been using as an avatar (;)) Came to life and joined the band!

[Tar-Ancalime]

than wonko and her little orcling joined too

[HobbitGirl]

And then the Abomidable Snowman who was made of snow came out of the frozen northlands of Salt Lake City and ATE ALL THE BARBIE DOLLS IN EXISTANCE. And someone cried, "Oh horror and woe! Death and destruction to us all!"

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonko sang and played the guitar, and the orcling just sang and distracted Wonko until they were snogging on the stage and completely messing up the bands mojo.

[Lossen Vana]

Then they signed Bob and the Bobets to a high paying record company.

[Wonko The Sane]

And the snogging couple became the bands trademark and due to their amorousness sold millions of copies of their album and even more tickets to their show. Especially when Wonks snogged the orcling AND played the guitar at the same time!

[Lossen Vana]

Then Bob killed his manager after he found out how much he was stealing from the bands profits. And since he was a rock star he got off scott free.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which wasn't fair cos the Scots never got off Scott free. ;)

[Lossen Vana]

Then Mr. Snuggle came by and said he would make it all feel better.

[Aulë]

Then Rambo reappeared and killed Mr. Snuggle, and all of the Bobetts!

"Nooooooo!" cried Bob!
"This place isn't as bobby as it was before!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob was pretty sure that this was not his true self

[HobbitGirl]

So Bob set out on a quest to find his true self. But when he could not find it on Earth, in Middle-Earth, in the Undying Lands, on Xenon 5, or in Magdala, he went to see Tar, who was not only a renowned Dark Queen but a renowned psyciatrist. And Bob asked Tar who is true self really was, and how he could find him again.

[HLGStrider]

Tar told him to get lost and made him an omelete but didn't give him any options. It HAD to have ham and cheese.

[Aulë]

And the cheese was Norwegian Beaver Cheese

[HLGStrider]

BOB'S FAVORITE!
He didn't like ham however. He ate all her cheese and threw the ham out the window.

[Aulë]

When the ham fell onto the ground, it turned into a pig called Babe.
Babe then sung "Baa Ram Ewe" at Bob, and started rounding him up.

[HLGStrider]

which made Tar very angry indeed. She sent him to live with Kanga where Bob had to eat medicine and take baths.

[Aulë]

But Bob escaped, and came across a unicorn by the name of Elgee.

[HLGStrider]

She offered him a ride to the unicornio convention where everyone is bonita y divertida!

[Aulë]

Bob glady accepted, and hopped onto Elgee's back

[HLGStrider]

The pretty unicornios had all gathered beneath the starry sky to enjoy pizza and hottubbing.

[Aulë]

"Noooo!" yelled Bob, "Anything but hottubbing!"
And he proceeded to flee from the crazy unicorns, until he came across...

[Tar-Ancalime]

then tar came and banished bob to the island of lost dreams...

[Celebthôl]

YAY we're back with bob...errr anyway...

bob found many a lost dream (and nightmmare) he found the one where he....

[Aulë]

...fell in love with a cannibal.

[Lossen Vana]

Named Hanibel Lecter. Who tryed to eat Bob.

[HLGStrider]

but he ate a tunafish salad instead.\

[Celebthôl]

and so did Bob and they drank wine called...

[HobbitGirl]

Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. And they all had thier brains smashed out by a lemon wrapped around a brick.

[Tar-Ancalime]

sadly it was not trout with a white wine sauce gently sauteed to absolute perfection and served with double vodka martinis.

[Lossen Vana]

And then a the waiter came in and said he was sorry. And served up a fresh blond brain, then bob said...

[HobbitGirl]

"Why you little....stupid head! I ordered brunette brain, not blonde! Do you hear me? BRUNETTE!" Bob shouted. The waiter took the brain away, and Bob muttered under his breath, "What a putz-monkey."

[Lossen Vana]

Then the waiter hearing Bob. Took him and wrung his neck, killing him. The Hanibel ate him.

ffafafafafafaff

[HobbitGirl]

So Bob was dead for the umpteenth time. His spirit wandered the Halls of Mandos for a while, until Mandos spotted him, and said, "Hey! You're not an elf! What are you doing here?"
"I am too an elf!" said Bob.
"Are not!" said Mandos.
"Are too!" said Bob.
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Not not not not not not notnotnotnotnot..."
"Too too too too too too tootootootootoo..."
Then Feanor came along and told Bob to shut his yapper. He would have told Mandos to shut up too, but we all know what happened last time Feanor messed with the Valar...

[HLGStrider]

He was sentenced to sit before the throne of Morgoth in a dress with pink embroidered flowers!

[Aulë]

and to groom unicorns

[Tar-Ancalime]

while feeding morgorth chocolate covered starfish

[Lossen Vana]

Then he cut off the horn of one of the unicorns and glued it to his farhead.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which makes NO sense.

[Wolfshead]

"It's not meant to make sense!" shouted Bob. "This is Wales after all. Who do you think I am, George Dubya?"

[Lossen Vana]

No I thought you were Geroge Bush!

[Wonko The Sane]

"I'm neither!" Shouted Bob. "I'm Welsh!!!!"

And then he did something silly. Cos that's what Welsh people do. ;)

[Valdarmyr]

...he went to the railway station intending to take the 6:45 from Caerllion-ar-Wysc to Minas Tirith.

[HLGStrider]

singing, "There were green aligators and long necked geese some humpy back camels and some chimpanzees, some cats some rats some elephants as sure are you're born but the loveliest of all was the unicorn."..

He also did the handmotions to the song. People thought he was muy odd.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and a very, odd short man came and said,
"Do you want a pint today?"

[Aulë]

to which Bob exclaimed,
"It comes in pints????"

[Valdarmyr]

This last encounter got Bob so excited that he entirely forgot about catching his train, and he reenacted the whole scene at the Prancing Pony, all the drinking and the singing, Frodo leaping into the air, rolling off the table, the ring slipping on his finger and him vanishing. When he was done, one person clapped politely and tossed some change at his feet, while another man just shook his head and said...

[Lossen Vana]

"I'll be back!" in him terminater voice. Bob not understanding said, "I'll be beetoven (sp)!" Then the teminator took out his gun and...

[HLGStrider]

Instructed Bob in classical dance...

It was Spike Jones, who as we all know used to direct with a revolver... They sang "My Old Flame" with Peter Lorre in the middle of a Casablanca intersection... then Humphrey Bogart was run over by a camel.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and ingrid birdman was devestated. Bob tried to comfort her.

[Lossen Vana]

Then got hungry and ate her.

[Valdarmyr]

Then he burped and said, "Here's looking at you, kid."

[Lossen Vana]

Then he started to sing "I'm singing in the rain" even though it was snowing outside.

[HobbitGirl]

And suddenly a green guy with little antennae sticking out of his head and wearing a white cloak blew up the moon with an old Soviet nuke. Then all the world's tides went all freaky, and New York City was swallowed under the waves. At that moment a baby was born.

[Lossen Vana]

And the mutant babys name was Bob Jr.

[HobbitGirl]

Bob used his lucky coin to jump through space and time to see his new baby son. He held little junior in his arms and cried like a whelp. Suddenly the nurse cried out, "But who is the mother?!?!?"

"Mother?" Jr. said. "I thought I was a laboratory creation!"

Bob took no notice of any of this. "I want you to know that whatever alternate dimensions I get thrown into, and not matter how many times I die, I will always have you with me!" he said to Bob Jr. "Um, wait, that came out wrong..."

"What kind of name is Bob?" asked the baby. "I want to be known as the Rubber Duckie of Westmarch! You can call me RDW for short." Jr. winked at the ladies.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than tar yelled at her puppy for eating tars retainer

[HLGStrider]

Then RDW was sued for malpractice when he forcibly took the retainer and buried it, with the puppy, beneath grand central station... that was why Bob broke down and cried a river.

[Valdarmyr]

But Bob distilled the salt out of the river of tears that he cried and opened the "RDW Pretzel Company." He used some of the money he earned to hire the best lawyer in New York to fight RDW's malpractice suit. And when they won...

[HLGStrider]

they celebrated by taking a trip into a nearby wormhole with Benjamin Sisco and Captain Janeway.

[Aulë]

But it wasn't long till they came to a blockage.
John Candy had been trying to get to Jamaica, but had become stuck.
"Please help me get out of this wormhole," pleaded John, "If you help me, I'll train you to be a "bob"-sled team!"

[Valdarmyr]

Suddenly, Mr. Scott, who was holding on for dear life to the top of Treebeard, yelled, "Captain, it was our anti-matter imbalance that created the wormhole in the first place. But I can guarantee ya' I can give ya' warp speed on that "Bob"-sled, laddie."

[Lossen Vana]

Kirk stood nearby with his lost in space stair on his face. Then her help up a mirror and fixed his hair.

We
Will
Never
Surrender
I'M
So
Damned
Good
Looking!

He shouted in his abnormally slow talk. Bob looked at him and took his phaser and set it to kill. Then he...

[Valdarmyr]

...paused a moment and started pacing slowly. Bob said, "Awwlllriiiighteee then, Mr. James TIBERIUS Kirk, the jig is up! I know why you've been talking so slowly all these years. It's just so you could steal screen time away from your fellow cast members! Well, we'll fix that. You see this Ring of Power? THIS oughta help ya talk faster!"

Kirk looked at the Ring and said, "You...offer...it...to...me...freely. I...cannot...deny...that...I...have...desired...th is." Kirk reached out for the Ring. And then...

[HLGStrider]

The line dancing Tooks snatched the ring and made off with it. Soron and Sauron got together and took over the Nexus...

[Tar-Ancalime]

but nobody cared except the harison fords...

[Lossen Vana]

Kirk began to rip out his hair.

You
Have
Figured
Out
My
Plan
Now
I
Must
Kill
You

Then he gave the manly captain look. And set his phaser to kill. Then once the ring was stolen.

Beam
Me
Up
Scotty
I
May
break
a
Nail!

Then bob rolled his eyes and desided it would be safer with the borg. He joined and a mico chip was placed in his head making him forget the stolen ring.

[Valdarmyr]

And then Captains Kirk and Janeway, Mr. Scott, Benjamin Cisco, the Borg, Soron and Sauron, Harrison Ford, John Candy, Bob and RDW all joined the Line Dancing Tooks out on the dancefloor. They did the Two-Step, the Ten-Step, the Cotton-Eyed Joe, the Bus Stop, the Hustle, and for their big finale, they all donned harem pants and gave a rousing rendition of "You Can't Touch This."

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob went and canged his name to Jim. Liking it much better.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but since it was the name of this nice guy...he changed it to georce

[HLGStrider]

Then Bert looked at Ernie and said "I think he meant George... It was probably a typo."
and Ernie said to Burt,
"No a Georce is a tap dancing penguin in a powdered wig. Everybody knows that... Bob is obviously now Jim the Georce."

[Valdarmyr]

And so henceforth, and so for some little time to come, Bob would be known as Jim the Georce, and his fame grew far and wide. And so Jim the Georce danced his little tap-dancing penguin dance, and his dance was helped by the fact that his powdered wig itched something fierce. But at least he didn't have to wear a tux on stage, because, after all, he was a penguin. Then one night, right in the middle of his tap dance on stage in front of a standing-room-only crowd, Jim the Georce...that is to say, Bob...did his interpretation of a scene from "Chicago," but he couldn't decide whether he should play the part of Catherine Zeta-Jones or Renee Zellweger, and he got so confused that he shrieked, and in a blinding flash of light, Jim the Georce, which is to say Bob, started channeling Richard Gere.

[HLGStrider]

The Harrison Fords all went OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH but everyone else wanted the dames and started singing a scene from South Pacific... Nothing like a Dame, while wearing costumes from Oklahoma.

[HobbitGirl]

Then RDW did a double take. "Wait...is my father a hobbit? I always pictured him with hairy feet when he was falling down that hole..."

[Valdarmyr]

Then during a costume change, Bob put on his red-checkered flannel shirt, and he came out singing, "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay," and the "It's" man from Monty Python, who was in the crowd, looked strangely like Gandalf, who happened to be in the ticket booth, and since the place was sold out, he told the next couple in line, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

[HLGStrider]

and then the couple whipped him and threw him off the bridge.

you broke the bridge!

[Valdarmyr]

Aragorn, Boromir and the rest of the Fellowship donned their Devo hats and did the Time Warp.

[HLGStrider]

and bang! They were back in the Shire with Bob, now Bob again, cooking JDW some hot cakes and grits. He was wearing BIB OVERALLS!

[Valdarmyr]

As Dad and son sat there in the little house on Bagshot Row, happily munching on hot cakes and grits, Bob told RDW, "You know, it's funny you want to be known as the Rubber Duckie of Westmarch. Because those initials have special significance. The "R" stands for the Ring of Fire, for that is how your eyes sparkled when you were born. The "D" stands for Dudo Baggins, who is your great-great-great-great-Uncle. And the "W" stands for Wormtongue, who was your mummy." RDW looked at Bob with a face like :rolleyes: and said to Bob, "Are you sure you're my father?"

[Aulë]

The unexpectantly, Bob suffered a fatal heart attack and died.
And everyone (except Bob) lived happily ever after.

END OF STORY

[Lossen Vana]

Then Bob Jr. went out to the hole his father fell threw in the begining, and was pushed making him fall threw the same hole.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Bob's ghost came to bob jr and said....please let my nonsense legend live on!

[Lossen Vana]

And so Bob Jr. made a wish and the blue fairy came making Bob into a real boy.

[Valdarmyr]

Then Bob Jr. said "Bob!" And Bob said, "Bob? That was what they used to call me: Bob the Grey. I am Bob the White. Now quick, boy, find me my tanning booth, so I can catch some rays and stop blinding people."

[Lossen Vana]

So bob taned and looked nice. The he decided that he needed a buff body to go along with his nice tan. So he began to pump iron. Then he gained a supermodel body. He desided to go to the beach and....

[HLGStrider]

play volley ball... unfortunately he brought a foot ball by mistake and was mobbed by the binkini squad.

[Wonko The Sane]

But their bikinis disappeared and were replaced by full length fur coats instead.
And they were the eskimo squad.

[Lossen Vana]

And bob froze in his Spedo because now he was at the North Pole in the middle of a blizard.

[HLGStrider]

Everyone felt frustrated at Bob the giant icicle, especially Dan the giant fudgesickle who'd been getting all the attention up until then.

[Wonko The Sane]

But then Clancy the Giant Creamsicle appeared on the scene, and Bob and Dan were soon forgotten.

[Valdarmyr]

Clancy got on his Good Foot and shimmied sideways James Brown-style, did the splits, sprang into the air, then came down hard and shattered in a million pieces. Right then, Spring came and melted what was left of him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

sadly he dodded oofff top

[Aulë]

As Bob slowly unfroze, the disappearing ice revealed that he had turned into the YETI!

[Valdarmyr]

With his smelly, matted fur, Bob the Yeti looked like Jim Carrey's Whiploc character from "Earth Girls Are Easy," only Bob was a lot taller, and he wasn't wearing that silly red plastic helmet on his head. Jumping up and down on the North Pole, his heavy bulk sending cracks shivering all through the ice cap, Bob said petulantly, "I don't want to be a Yeti...I want to be a CAVE TROLL!" And with that, he smashed through the ice, and when he came out the other side of the earth...

[Aulë]

...He appeared in the Chamber of Mazarbul. The fellowship of the ring were in there.
"They have a cave troll!" yelled Boromir.
Merry and Pippin then jumped on Bob the Cave Troll's head, and started hacking at his head with their Westernese Knives.

[omnipotent_elf]

the troll quickly held both hands up and states:"come on guys, i have beers in my cave, lets settle this thing the old fashioned way!"
bob, merry, boromir and pippen all go of with the troll

[Valdarmyr]

So somewhere along the line Bob had split off from the Cave Troll and was his old self again. But when PJ saw him, he said, "Get this bum off my set!"

[HLGStrider]

He was then sued by the homeless for using an offensive term. While PJ was in court Bob the Yetti-Troll got onto a talk show and told his sad story.

Radio transmissions of it were picked up by a passing Borg cube. They had no interest in it what soever, but the waves bounced off their cube, hit the moon, exploded some swamp gas, and landed in the middle of a Pakistany market place where a gang of local Mitsubishi owners decided to get Bob and make an example of him to all other Toyota driving Yetis.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and then James bond said to Bob," Tomorow never dies"

[Aulë]

To which Bob The Yeti/Troll replied, "I'll Die Another Day!"

[Valdarmyr]

Bob said, "Hey 007, you may have thought you killed Scaramanga in "The Man With The Golden Gun," but--look--there he is, up in Orthanc! Get him!" Bond said, "But of course," pressed a button on his watch, and a laser beam shot out and started slicing the smooth black rock of Orthanc, but Saruman stretched out his arm, started speaking incantations and hypnotized him with his voice, and Bond fell into a trance and started clucking like a chicken, waving his elbows up and down, and scratching the ground with his feet.

[HLGStrider]

While Bond was doing the Chicken dance Merlin turned Bob into a squirrel. Then the mean old owl bit off Bob's tail and Bob had to go to the ball without his glass slippers.

[Lossen Vana]

Then winnie the pooh showed up and yelled at owl for doing such a mean thing.

[Lossen Vana]

Then winnie the pooh showed up and yelled at owl for doing such a mean thing.

[HLGStrider]

But owl couldn't read so it didn't make a difference.

Don't ask for my logic. You will get a headache.

Then Bob got a head ache.

[Lossen Vana]

And tigger made it worse by bouceing him and shouting...

The wonderful thing about tiggers...are tiggers are wonderful things. There bouncy flouchy wouncy pouncy...fun fun fun fun fun! The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one! IIIIIII'MMMMM THHHHEEEE OOONNNNLLLLY OOOOONNNNNE!!!!! Rouuuuur!

[HobbitGirl]

To which the Fat Lady of New York replied, "You stupid bouncy little thing! That's not how the song goes! You should be getting in right, cause you made it up, after all!" Then the Fat Lady of New York began jumpin up and down faster and better than Tigger, and she sang:

"The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Thier tops are made out of rubber
Thier bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, bouncy, trouncy, fun fun fun fun fun!
And the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one.
IIII'm the only one!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!"

Then the Goon Squad of Illegal Singing Squatters arrested the Fat Lady of New York for singing without a license. Tigger stuck his tounge out at her as she was dragged away. She screamed for her lawyer, and RDW vanished into the shadows.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob died

[HLGStrider]

Mourning for his father, Bob Jr started a Mau tournament against Patrick Stewart and the Borg Queen.

[Valdarmyr]

Then Stewart straightened his Starfleet tunic and yelled in the most dignified manner possible, "WAIT! Before anybody does anything, I want Tea. Earl-Grey. HOT HOT HOT!"

[HLGStrider]

Janeway hit him over the head with her replicator.
"It's coffee, black, you shirker! You try getting pulled half way across the galaxy and loosing your dog and fiance!"

[Valdarmyr]

Then Kirk showed up again and told Janeway and Picard, "Well, since we're all having a drink, how about a glass of Romulan Ale...and a marsh-Mellon!" And at that, even though they were a galaxy away, the Doors of Moria opened, making the same "ssshhhwwwiikk!" sound the transporter doors on the old Enterprise did.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Saddam entered the bar saying give me a pint or i wilkl blow you up

[Wolfshead]

To which the devil replied, "What? Do you not love me anymore, Saddam?"

[Aulë]

OOC: Oh NO!!!! *thinks of The South Park Movie*

Then Kenny came along, and befriended Bob

[Wolfshead]

Yes, The South Park Movie, funny, wasn't it?

Anyway, Kenny was then killed horribly by a falling rubber mallet which bounced of his head repeatedly until he died. To which Bob shouted, "Oh my God! You killed Kenny, you.....

[Aulë]

But before he could get the swear word out of his mouth, Webmaster came along and slit his throat, turning Bob into a mute!

[Valdarmyr]

Cartman stood in Fangorn Forest, dressed in a white robe, wearing a white wig like Cher's, with a long white beard. He said, "I am Cartman the White now. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide. So you better respect my authoritah. And somebody get me some chicken wings--medium spicy!"

[Lossen Vana]

I Want CHEESY POOFS!!!! he screamed.

[Valdarmyr]

Treebeard stepped on Cartman and squashed him. Sam dumped the box of dirt Galadriel gave him down Bob's throat, and his tongue grew back.

[Tar-Ancalime]

legolas preformed Silmarillion: The Musical nude too

[HobbitGirl]

Legolas's performance was broadcast all over the galaxy, and Bob died because there were too many high kicks.

[Wolfshead]

And when Legolas realised he had infact married his sister, he went and threw himself into Mount Doom. This simple act made the world happy, well, the male half anyway, the women were left unconsolable.

Bob went away to find some way to bring himself back to life again.

[HLGStrider]

He found that by drinking from the fountain of youth he could become an infant but not an adults. So he came back as an infant.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but Bob was depressed...he hated not being able to talk

[HLGStrider]

so he threw all his baby food on the floor.

A passing pedestrian tripped on it and took Bob to court. Bob's lawyer was the toothfairy.

[Lossen Vana]

Which then turned into a whole army of nude Legolases.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which is a nastty picture

[Wonko The Sane]

To crazy people.

And the Almighty Bob descended unto them and presented his 12th commandment: Thou shalt love Legolas, and he shalt be dubbed Sexiful Bit of Elf-Crumpet

[Aulë]

OOC: Wonks! You have ruined my dinner! Arrrg!
*gags*

And then the 7 plagues of Bob befell Middle Earth!

[Wonko The Sane]

And they were, in order of descent:

1) Marmalade
2) Orange Microwave ovens dubbed, "The Fighting Irish"
3) Naked hairy dwarves
4) Chicken
5) Erotically shaped candles
6) Smelly Cheese
and
7) The French

[Aulë]

"Arrrg!" yelled the army of naked Sexiful Bit of Elf-Crumpet Legolas's!
"Anything but the French!!!"

And to their horror, the French began throwing farm animals at all the Legolas's, and started calling them uncouth names

[Wonko The Sane]

In response to which Bob threw more of his plagues upon them.

[Aulë]

Then the Legolas's saw the hairy dwarves, making them all blind.

"Our eyes have been soiled!" they cried.

[Wonko The Sane]

And while they were blind they tried to spread marmalade on their toast.

And instead spread Brie all over the hairy dwarves and the French.

[Aulë]

Then the erotically shaped candles fell onto the dwarves, and made them all horny!

[Wonko The Sane]

At which point everyone realised things were rapidly digressing into something quite rude and tasteless.

At which point Bob kindly sent the plague of darkness, shut off the lights, and left them all to it.

Unfortunately, as it was dark nobody knows what happened for sure.

And I for one went to sleep and dreamt of naked orcs.

Night all!

[Tar-Ancalime]

and everyone shuddered and changed the plot line to dancing unicorn and Bob's travels to Gula gula island

[Lossen Vana]

Then Bob met Gilligan and the skipper. A millioniar and his wife. A movie star, the professior and Mary ann. And they were standed on the island.

[HLGStrider]

blah blah blah... Keep it clean now. Elgee said, adjusting her glasses.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar seconded Elgee's notion switching dark queen scepter from hand to hand.

[Lossen Vana]

Bob then desided to go over and see the professior. He would solve all the not cleaness on the island.

[Tar-Ancalime]

the dark queen acompanied bob

[HLGStrider]

The Dark Queen and Bob met with the professor who said in a French Accent,
"Do not climb the ladder to doom with a bimb."
"A bimb?" inquired Tar.
"Yes, a bimb. Were you expecting one?"

IT WAS INSPECTOR CLOUSOU!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar nodded and decided that the inspector was a failure, then she and bob moved on.

[Lossen Vana]

So the old inspecter was replaced by a new model. Inspecter Gadget.

[HLGStrider]

Gadget was assigned to watch over President Kenedy during a famous speech.

"Ask not what your country can do for you," said Kennedy. "That's a stupid question. If I catch you asking it again I'll send you to your room. If I told you once I've told you a thousand times, don't exaggerate. The questions isn't what your country can do for you. For gosh sakes, you country has a trillion dollar budget. It can do just about whatever it wants to! Now don't give me any of that lip, young man.
We have nothing to fear besides fear itself and some raging, foaming at the mouth oliphants with nuclear war heads.
A house divided against itself cannot stand unless supported by steel girters.
Now is our finest hour. Never have so many taken so much from so few."

[Wonko The Sane]

Baluga.

[HLGStrider]

"BABY BALUGA IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA! SWIM SO WILD AND YOU SWIM SO FREE!"

Kenedy started to sing with Raffi.

[Lossen Vana]

Then Willy the famous Orca swam up and ate bob.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then millions of crazed loonies ran to the thingy and siad,

"AIIIEEE"

[Wolfshead]

Then all the crazed people, who are also known as elves, spotted the Balrog they were supposed to be "Aiee-ing" and, so they "Aiee-ed" again and again and again until they were eaten by a small mushroom.

Page 99. Almost into treble figures!

[Wonko The Sane]

And Bob shouted:

WARGS OF THE WORLD UNTIE!!!!

Which was strange in and of itself, but most people assumed he meant "unite" and moved on with it.

He didn't though. He really did mean untie.

[Lossen Vana]

So the Wargs untied all there shoe laces and then bob tied then all together so that when they walked the wargs fell flat on there faces!

[Wonko The Sane]

And then the Wargs bit the shoelaces and mauled Bob for his stupid command.

[HLGStrider]

Bob got plastic surgury and looked like Clark Kent.

[Wonko The Sane]

Dean Cain or Christopher Reeves?

It's an important question!

[Tar-Ancalime]

i think it was...but bob did nto finish his sentence as he was to busy playin with a warg cub

[Lossen Vana]

Who desided that Bob made a good pasifier and stuck him in his mouth, ruining the plasic sergery.

[HLGStrider]

Dean Cain and Chris Reeves were walking along when they saw Bob being chewed up.

"How odd," said Dean.
"Quite," said Chirs.

They walked on.

[Wonko The Sane]

At which point it was determined that Bob had plastic surgery to look like Dean Cain and it was also determined that Christopher Reeves could not, in fact, have walked by being of course a quadrapolegic.

And so Bob looked like Dean Cain and got majorly glomped for being so sexy.

[HLGStrider]

But Chris now is able to walk becuase Elgee said he could and Elgee is powerful.

[Aulë]

And so Chris began to walk, but to Elgee's horror, he began to walk towards her!
"Come here my pretty!" he cackled, "I want you to become my personal jester, and to entertain me all day! Mwhahahaha!"

[omnipotent_elf]

and then a monkey with a little red hat came out and slapped chris because he was the jester, and hadn't been given two weeks notice...


YAY, i started the 100th page
*begins a party*

[Wonko The Sane]

Which sucked because really that stupid monkey was too fat and ugly to ever amount to anything more than...well...a trained monkey.

So it went and shot itself.

[Aulë]

And so Elgee was forced to become Chris's jester, and she had to wear one of those silly hats with the bells on it.

[Wonko The Sane]

And upon seeing this and how cute it was the monkey reanimated itself so it could shoot itself all over again.

[HLGStrider]

Elgee liked the bells, however. She shook her head so they would ring again and again and again.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob begins to feel woosey....and falls over..

[Wonko The Sane]

At which point the monkey reanimates itself...dances to the bells...cries...and then guts itself with a fish knife.

[Aulë]

Then a spunky looking knight who had his underpants on the outside came to rescue Elgee from the Wicked Chris from the West.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which was generally regarded as a bad move by all.

So the knight was charged with disturbing the peace and thrown in the hoosegow.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Janis, god of past/future did the cancan on the table so he could qualify as a deity and give bob worser luck

[Lossen Vana]

And he got the bad luck...these posts just kept going on and on and...

[Tar-Ancalime]

this is the song that doesnt end...

[Lossen Vana]

I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves...

[HLGStrider]

I know that one too!

'FEELINGS!" Bob sings while the monkey's ghost begs for mercy.

[Lossen Vana]

Then bob to tourture the monkeys ghost more dresses up in a barney suit and sings the "I love you song"