Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[HLGStrider]

NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

[Wonko The Sane]

Then the monkey's ghost tries to strangle the girl in the jester's cap.

[HLGStrider]

but she was too all powerful. She overcame him and read him her novels.

[Wonko The Sane]

And the monkey reanimated and then killed himself again.

[HLGStrider]

The monkey disappeared without a trace and Elgee started to play Mancala against Bob.

[Aulë]

Then the knight with his underpants on the outside reappeared, and he tried to carry Elgee out of the castle. But then she saw that that knight was RangerDave!
"Arrrrrg!," she cried, "Anyone but you!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

and Tar, who had just turned in her application form to the diets and joined said bob had no reason to live and we should let him die for good.

[Ol'gaffer]

So Ol'Gaffer came and pushed Bob down a bottomless hole. Then, he swept Tar from her feet, gave her a big wet one and dissappeared before anyone noticed a thing.

[HLGStrider]

Tar rinsed her mouth with propane.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but really none of that ever, ever, ever ever....happend!

[HLGStrider]

Which is a good thing, because if the Korean Boy Friend had seen it he may have just given bodily harm to Ol Gaffer.

[Tar-Ancalime]

OOC:That is so true!

and bob melted into a puddle of jellopudding

[Ol'gaffer]

OOC:I thought that the korean boy fiend had been long since banished into the dark realm of "Bold and the Beautiful" re-runs.
If that's not the case the Gaffer just has to do it himself.

IC: After wich bob was gathered by 5 foot infants for dessert.

[HLGStrider]

Then the giant babies got gas and no one wants to mess with unhappy giant babies. There was no one big and tall enough to burp them. Bob shivered into his puddly self.

Just then the radio began to play Purple People Eater!

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:Stop insulting my korean BF or i'll electrocute you Ol' gaffer!

IC: and old gaffer died leaving bob a lonely husband.

[HLGStrider]

Bob hadn't even known he was married. He spent a while reading family records to figure out who his wife was. . . and praying it wasn't Ol Gaffer.

[Rogue666666]

Unfortunately, it was the old Gaffer.

So, Bob stuck a 12 guage shotgun down his throat, but coudn't pull the trigger because he was choking.

Another failed suicide attempt.

[Aulë]

Elgee then reappeared, and started canoodling with Bob.
The evil emporer Chris did not like that though, since he wanted Elgee for himself. So he got out his cat-o-nine-tails and started whipping por Bob.

[Ol'gaffer]

OOC: Leave the Gaffer alone and the Gaffer will leave poor Tars korean bf alone and will stop talking about himself in 3rd person!.

IC: Gaffer indeed was not Bobs husband nor was he in any way aquainted with Bob, no one really new what purpose Gaffer had in this pointless tale, so Gaffer left to bother someone else at some ball for some miss TTf.

meanwhile Bob decided to try jumping off a cliff.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:Truce

and ol'gaffer disapeered from the story.

[Rogue666666]

Bob DID jump off a cliff, but when he hit the ground he bounced and the whole earth rippled. That is when he realized he had lived his whole life, not only in a matrix, but in a matrix within a matrix within a matrix to 10 to the 23 power. Or a billion trillion matrixes.


Which was fine with bob, cuase he really didn't care if some machine he knew nothing about sucked the living juice out of him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then agent smith dressed as Lord Elrond said to bob(who he thought was frodo)"I'm going to enjoy watching you die, Frodo Baggins"

[HLGStrider]

"No you won't because we all know you are as blind as a bat. You are reading that book upside down!"

And Agent Smith was revealed to be Marilyn Monroe.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which really freaked bob out because he knew this was no pepsi twist commercial!

[Tar-Ancalime]

which really freaked bob out because he knew this was no pepsi twist commercial!

[Wolfshead]

It was actually an advert for Citroen cars. Which has Marilyn Munroe in it. Personally, I wasn't aware she was doing TV anymore. I always thought she was dead...

Anyway, Bob, in a moment of desperation, shot himself in the foot with a nail gun. It hurt.

[HLGStrider]

TWISTING! SHAKE IT SHAKE IT SHAKE IT1
Someone yelled.

But Bob's feet were nailed to the floor so he couldn't shake effectively. He again posed for Mary Engelbriet.

[omnipotent_elf]

and out of no-where a very bright flash brought blindness onto all

[Dain Ironfoot]

and everyone had a bowl of Ramen in their hands!!

[HLGStrider]

This was a major tourist attraction. Giraffes came to drink the Raman with twisty straws and listen to lectures by Vaschnita Vaschnorkal, the underwater explorer and crazed nuclear-paleono-botanist.

[Tar-Ancalime]

And then Inuyasha being enraged at the Ramen eaters began to chop at bob with Tessaiga

[Rogue666666]

Then Bob got confused by all these silly names, so he pulled a rabbit out of his hat, and shot it through the knee caps. That's when it confessed to bieng a Nazi spy. So bob strung the rabbit up by its ears and beat it with a baseball bat like a pinyata.


(Stop me when I'm getting to graphic for you.)

[Aulë]

Then a band of Darth Vadar's stormtroopers came along and killed Bob.
Because of this, Bob and all his heirs were dead.
NO MORE BOB!

Instead, we shall now concentrate on someone called "Tar-Ancalime":D

[Tar-Ancalime]

but that was a total lie and Bob fell down the rabbit hole just like Alice in wonderland, In fact, Bob even looked like alice...it was wierd.

[HLGStrider]

Because Bob just didn't look good in blue and white checks. He landed at the bottom ontop of Dorthey who said she wasn't in Kansas anymore.
"No, you're in Arkansas," said Hillary. "Would you like some vegemite?"

"No," frowned Elgee's half-Aussie acquaintance. "Yanks can't eat Vegemite."

"Yes we can!" said Elgee. She took a bite, winced, and said, "No we can't."

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Tar rode in and shot hillary clinton, sleezy dems like her didnt deserve to live.

[Dain Ironfoot]

then everyone started singing "gimme a brake, gimme a brake, brake me off a piece of that Kit-kat bar!"

[HLGStrider]

Everybody but Tar and Hillary who were riding off into the sunset, Hillary tied to the backside of Tar's horse. Tar took Hillary to the great barier reef and set up a business selling opportunities to dunk Hillary under the water. Tar became a millionaire.

This made Bob very mad.

"This is my story!" he cried. "Mine! I'm the hero! I deserve to be the millionaire! Not Tar and definatly not Hillary!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"WEll it can be TAr's story.." said a randome person in audience...

[HLGStrider]

"No!" Bob wept. "It is my story! MINE! ALL MINE!"

He threw himself down, kicking and screaming. The MSN messenger Green dude hit him over the head with an emoticon.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"it is tar's story!"

[HLGStrider]

Bob was too dizzy to answer. The MSN Dude filled Bob's stomach with butterflies.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which had lava lamps for eyes.

[HLGStrider]

and light bulbs for feet.

AND THEY TICKLED!

[Tar-Ancalime]

like bob felt when being ticked by california gals a couple hundred pages back

[HLGStrider]

considering they'd only gone 104 pages Bob was convinced it wasn't a couple hundred pages back and he said so.

When he opened him mouth all the butterflies escaped and fly across Arizona twinkling and tickling anyone who dared to go outside wearing a plaid, string bikini.

[Elbereth]

Then Bob woke up and realized that it was all a horrible dream.

[HLGStrider]

At least that was what he thought until a dozen vultures rested on the foot of his bed. Then he realized that this was a terrible dream.

[HobbitGirl]

Then Bob realized he didn't know what plane of reality he existed on, and that every person writing this story was one of the Dietys, as they controlled Bob's life and afterlife. So Bob applied to be a Diety so that he might have more control over his existance.

[HLGStrider]

But he didn't have enough zits so they rejected him.

He went out and ate chocolate.

[Aulë]

And ate so much that he turned into the glutinous little doughboy, Poppin' Fresh!!

[Tar-Ancalime]

which was nasty because it was not fresj

[Dain Ironfoot]

then died...... when he woke up he asked the devil "why did I die, and why am I HERE???"

The devil replied" Well my boy........

[Tar-Ancalime]

...your hear because your ear peers through shears underlying big tears."

[Dain Ironfoot]

in english means: your ugly. Then bob cry for 80 days and 80 nights... He and noah got 3 of every animal... (hey they can't count..)

[Rogue666666]

Noah then got on a space craft headed for space but was eaten by a black hole monster and then sent to Mars to find out were all the cheese on the moon had gone. He found a cow there which had overshot the moon somehow and took it to Jupiter were he was crushed by an atmosphere that was a million time more dense then Earths. As he left Jupiter, Noah and the cow realized how much weight they had lost, so they started their own intergalactic weight loss show, and Noah wrote a book entitled " Jupiter weight loss programs " and made a best selling DVD series on the subject. Finally he went into an alternate universe and found that the Human race was following the Seldon plan which was based on the Mathematical principles of Psychohistory which planned on setting up a Second Empire at the end of a thousand year period. Unfortunately this plan is interrupted by a bunch of Green Peace loonies who decide that the galaxy should be one living organism. SO Noah traveled back to his realm and spent all his royalties on the wieght loss program to helping the study of how squids reproduce. He then died at the age of 349 due to lung cancer even though the doctors had urged him to give up smoking cuban cigars.

So Noah's son continued on with the adventures of his father//// Hey! THIS STOY IS ABOUT BO- \\\\\ When Noah's son, Floah, went out into the ocean. ///////// WHAT ABOUT BOB???\\\\\

Huh? O yes, I remember, this story is about Bob. How could I forget.

SO bob decided he wanted to become a real boy, and he went and made puppets for 32 years until nothing happened. He then was swallowed by a massive squid ( which thanks to researchers had grown to the size of an aircraft carrier). Their he met Jonah.

Jonah was also a biblical charachter who I will go into great detail about if someone doesnt stop me.

(Baseballl bat flies out of nowhere and slams the writers head into a bloody pulp. From out of the silence comes a muffled laugh, and a glint of light shines on a cute little buny with a swastika branded on its hind quarters)

[Rogue666666]

Noah then got on a space craft headed for space but was eaten by a black hole monster and then sent to Mars to find out were all the cheese on the moon had gone. He found a cow there which had overshot the moon somehow and took it to Jupiter were he was crushed by an atmosphere that was a million time more dense then Earths. As he left Jupiter, Noah and the cow realized how much weight they had lost, so they started their own intergalactic weight loss show, and Noah wrote a book entitled " Jupiter weight loss programs " and made a best selling DVD series on the subject. Finally he went into an alternate universe and found that the Human race was following the Seldon plan which was based on the Mathematical principles of Psychohistory which planned on setting up a Second Empire at the end of a thousand year period. Unfortunately this plan is interrupted by a bunch of Green Peace loonies who decide that the galaxy should be one living organism. SO Noah traveled back to his realm and spent all his royalties on the wieght loss program to helping the study of how squids reproduce. He then died at the age of 349 due to lung cancer even though the doctors had urged him to give up smoking cuban cigars.

So Noah's son continued on with the adventures of his father//// Hey! THIS STOY IS ABOUT BO- \\\\\ When Noah's son, Floah, went out into the ocean. ///////// WHAT ABOUT BOB???\\\\\

Huh? O yes, I remember, this story is about Bob. How could I forget.

SO bob decided he wanted to become a real boy, and he went and made puppets for 32 years until nothing happened. He then was swallowed by a massive squid ( which thanks to researchers had grown to the size of an aircraft carrier). Their he met Jonah.

Jonah was also a biblical charachter who I will go into great detail about if someone doesnt stop me.

(Baseballl bat flies out of nowhere and slams the writers head into a bloody pulp. From out of the silence comes a muffled laugh, and a glint of light shines on a cute little buny with a swastika branded on its hind quarters)

[Tar-Ancalime]

then he became confused!

[Ol'gaffer]

Which caused his head to spin like the chick in the exorcist.

[Valdarmyr]

Bob woke up with a start--"Holy Hamfast 'Gaffer' Gamgee--I've been asleep for 11 days! Hmmm...what should I do?"

[Wolfshead]

Bob was painfully aware that he had no idea what to do. People had stopped making his life interesting days ago, and now he has nothing to do. So he did the only sensible thing, which was to lie down and cry.

[Valdarmyr]

And Bob cried himself to sleep. Then he woke up and said, "Oh no, not again...that's it...I'm never going to sleep again!" So he went to Starbucks and, one after another, quickly drank down 15 Arabian Mocha Sanani Lattes, each with a double espresso shot.

[Wolfshead]

Then Bob decided to take advantage of the kindly provided toilets in Starbucks.

[Aulë]

But he fell into the toilet, and was flushed into the sewer system.
A colony of Chuds captured him, and decided that he would do nicely for a pre-dinner snack.

[Wolfshead]

Whilst wondering what a chud was, Bob mairaculously escaped on the back of a camel which was on holiday in a nearby aqueduct.

[Aulë]

A chud is a 'cannibilistic humanoid underground dweller' :P

As the camel escaped along the aqueduct, a giant mouse with wings grabbed it with its claws and took it to it's nest for dinner. Bob fell off the camel, and fell into a pile of Elgee's ear wax.

(ewwww)

[Wolfshead]

Whilst licking himself clean after this unfortunate incident, Bob was set upon by a gang of angry squirrels. They carried him off in a wheel barrow to their big tree. Coincidentally, the tree was also called Bob.

[omnipotent_elf]

and bob was worshipped as "tree lord"

[Valdarmyr]

...until he stopped shaving, and people started calling him Treebeard...

[Wolfshead]

Then, Bob, in a wise move, decided to burn down the tree called Bob. Unfortunately, his beard and eyebrows got singed in the incident. And due to this burning act, the squirrels started chasing Bob towards a rainbow.

[Aulë]

There he met a group of leprachauns, and he decided to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with them!

[Wolfshead]

Between them, they all got very drunk and started singing a song about a happy little goblin. Then the happy little goblin amazingly materialised out of thin air and started hitting them all with sauce pans and coffee beans.

[Tolkien Adictee]

Bong! Just as the goblin whacked Bob he woke up, finding himself dressed in leprechaun clothes. "Uh oh," said Bob, realizing that he had fallen asleep in a leprechaun bar. He also found lipstick was all over his face...

[HLGStrider]

And Elgee woke up and said, "Huh? Where am I?"

[Wonko The Sane]

And Edward Norton hovered over her and said: Welcome to the jungle.

[HLGStrider]

Elgee looked around for Upton Sinclair. . .Or was it Sinclair Lewis? No. . .It was Upton Sinclair.

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks wondered why in the world Elgee was breaking her own rule about letting herself be in Bob's story.

[Aulë]

And Pippin was glad that the story had died.

[Ol'gaffer]

And gaffer began to cover the area with duct tape.

[Aulë]

And Pippin added some postage stamps, and hoped that it would never return.

[HobbitGirl]

OOC: Elgee, do you really want to end this?

Seeing that the Final Farewell To Bob was approaching, a ghost in the manifestation of a Shakesperian actor walked between the fabric of the dimensions controlled by the Diets, the stage on which the Epic Tale of the Lives and Deaths of Bob the Great had been told. He came to center stage and spoke.

"It appears our tale is coming to and end. Therefore I will give the Epilouge as it was ordained in the Beggining of Time, when the Diets shaved thier heads and swore to uphold justice and peace in the multi-dimensional space-time continum. In accordance with the Prophecies." He cleared his throat. "Bob was a great....whatever he was, but whether Elf, Man, Dwarf, Hobbit, Maia, Vala, Diet, Rabbit, Deer, Harrison Ford, or Magdalainian he was Great. He did many things in his lifetime, and deathtime, and other lifetimes and deathtimes. Most of the things that he did and happened to him no one understands, not even the Diets, but we do know that he was one of the Great. If he was not such a pestulence at the same time that he was a blessing to Space-Time, the Diets would have made him a Diet. But the best they can do for him is to blink him out of existance. He will always be remembered, though, as the one who did so many crazy things not even he could keep track of them, and as the one who made us dig up the darkest dreams of our twisted imaginations. We shall never forget Bob. Honor to Bob, greatest of all RP characters!"

Confetti streamed down from nowhere, and the Shakesperian ghost bowed. He exited, and the lights went dim on the stage of Bob's existance.

[Valdarmyr]

Then Bob said, "Wait, I'm not dead yet!"

[Aulë]

*thwacks Valdarmyr on the head*

Pippin then shot Bob dead with a sniper rifle, and Bob was then buried.

THE END.

[Wonko The Sane]

Bob woke up the next morning in a coffin with a headache and 3rd degree burns.

This time instead of shouting and drawing murderous attention, he quietly tunneled out of his grave and popped up in Figi where a doctor bandaged him and he lay in the sun all day drinking Mai-Tai's and Pina Coladas.

[Aulë]

Wonks, what part of "The End" don't you understand?:rolleyes:

Then Bob was attacked and eaten by an army of Chuds.

[Vixen Evenstar]

..his mangled remains where then tossed into a witches cauldren where she cast a spell that if he should ever come to life again he would be slowly and painfully nibbled to death by ducks...

[HLGStrider]

Bob took off in the Spruce Goose with Howard Hughes to go by some Squeeky Cheese at Tillamook. It was very cold and rainy so he went to the Air Museum, traded the Goose in for a Corsair and took off to fight against the Wizard of Oz.

[Tolkien Adictee]

Unfortunately his plan failed. He sighed and went home. He put his feet up on his cat and started humming 'Home on the Range'. He took up a mandolin and threw it in the fireplace. But that opened up a secret passage, so Bob filled it up with macaroni and cheese. He sat down again but the couch came out under him and he was in a spaceship. Cool! He flew the spaceship to Mars and met a martian and said hello. The martian shot Bob with a teleporter ray and he went flying through time and into the future. There, he was put in jail for the murder of Amanda Bynes. A monkey came from the Gaurd's pants and spat in Bob's face. Bob broke through the bars and into the mote...

[Aulë]

And was rudely surprised when he discovered that the moat was filled with concentrated Hydrochloric Acid!
Bob dissolved into nothiness, and was NEVER seen again.

The End :)

(My God! I'm turning into Tar!!!:p )

[Wolfshead]

And so Bob was confused. Why were people continuously wanting to end his life? Was it something he said? Something he did?

[Dain Ironfoot]

then he randomly apeared in lewis carrol's Alic in wonderland FAR away from all people that would do him harm. for some reason a red-eyed duck was following him.....

[Vixen Evenstar]

...the demon duck ripped him apart and Alice found him later on and screamed really loud....

[HLGStrider]

The mods swept in like a cloud of locust and corrected an inappropriate post so that the game could continue. . .horray!

[Tar-Ancalime]

and the lord said unto moses: Thou shall do my wonders with thou's staff

[Vixen Evenstar]

and moses said, "woops! Sorry God, i lost it awhile back while tending the sheep"

ooc: whats this bible rp now??:D

[Tar-Ancalime]

"you damn ingrate!" God said and stormed off...

[HLGStrider]

Moses opened up a miniture golf course and gave away free lollipops to the first hundred customers. However, these lollipops were laced with mind control toothpaste. The poor customers became obsessed with cobras. . .the sports car, not the snake. . .

[Tar-Ancalime]

Pharoh said unto moses, "I will make your people build the mountain of gods at your park!" and he was like (moses) "hell no ramses let my peple go!"

[Aulë]

Then crazy ol' Elgee reappeared, weilding a sniper rifle.
"I shall get you, my pretties, revenge shall be mine!!!" she cackle hysterically.

[Valdarmyr]

But wait, Elgee had forgotten to buy gun oil, and lo, to fulfil the prophecy, she went back to Billy Bob's Gun-O-Rama, and in the meantime (in between time), Moses took Bob up unto the Mount. And thereth, the Lord sayeth unto him that hath dieth so many times, "Bob, I this day create an 11th Commandment. Thou that is called Bob shalt never die again." But alas, it was just a dream, and Bob woke up. And for some strange reason, 'cause he was still kinda in a dream frame of mind, Bob said to no one in particular, "I shall now read from Ecclesiastes 10, Jackson 5."

[Aulë]

And then a talking sausage-dog called Duschinka came along and told Bob that this is a Light-hearted story, and that religion ought not be brought into it.
Duschinka then took Bob for a ride in his U-Boat to the seaside.

[Tolkien Adictee]

Sorry, bout my post. :o

IC: The boat sank and bob was forced to swim to shore. When he arrived wet, he sat down and started to play Cranium. Bob, put away the game and headed towards camp Sasamat. There he went to sleep under a canoe. He awoke in the morning to find three small spiders in his mouth. He spat them out and ran screaming into a totem pole. A bear found him and ate him. Although again Bob woke up and found himself in bed. "I getting really sick of this dying, then waking up in bed thing". So Bob decided he would never leave his bed. So God poured hot molasess on Bob. Bob had to leave the house. Unfortunately, he found he was in a different house. And there was the bear from camp. "Somebodies been sitting in my chair". Bob, realised he was dressed in girl clothes and he had a blonde wig on. UH OH thought Bob. He ran up stairs and out the window. He landed in a frying pan and thought, Now this is ridiculous...

[HLGStrider]

The trolls picked him up and gazed at him hungrily. They were about to eat Bob when a police man rushed in and arrested Bob for murder in the 42nd degree. It turns out that Bob had once knocked a rock down a hill and that rock had spooked a butterfly who had flown to hide in a nearby swamp and was there devoured by a friendly frog named Alf. However, this had been a poisoness butterfly and Alf died a miserable death. His smelly carcass had been deposited in a nearby ravine when a young girl tripped on it, knocking down another rock ontop of an SUV. The suv unwittingly took the rock to Dover where the SUV crashed and went off the cliffs. It landed next to a shark who ate the tires and developed a serious case of hicups.
The hicuping shark swam to Atlanta and went up river to go to a Braves game. However, once there he started hiccuping so badly that he ruined Chipper Jones's swing and the ball flew up over the foul zone, hit the moon, and caused the earth's tides to alter dramatically.
When this happened John Smith was unable to go to the beach so he stayed home and watched "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" but was so annoyed by it that he switched to Fox news where Bill O'Rielly was talking with Bill Clinton. The Shepherd Smith came on and since he was so undeniably handsome John's wife fainted. She tipped over a plate of hot greese which burned through the floor and made the house catch on fire. Their pet Chiwauwau was killed and the blaze and the police, after serious investigation, discovered it was all Bob's fault!


(hey, at least it is long!)

[Dain Ironfoot]

He went into the fridge to get a glass of milk, but then.... OH NO, he forgot, HE IS A BOB! and everyone knows that bobs cant drink milk when they have dreams that they die in,SOOOO bob decides that he should drink the glowing stuff in the sink, and yes he turned into P-chan from ramna 1/2. then he sat there for the rest of his days eating ramen......

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Roxie Hart and Velma kelly began tap dancing in the middle of the chaos

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Roxie Hart and Velma kelly began tap dancing in the middle of the chaos. Then INuyasha stole Bob's ramen and kagome sat him several times. Miroku strode in to find Sango so he could feel her up.

[HLGStrider]

Then Godzilla appeared and ate the trolls and the police man and all the Raman.

[Tar-Ancalime]

And inuyasha swore to take revenge on the lifting of the ramen, he used bob as a shield.

[Dain Ironfoot]

then the ace of spades had shown up to paint the hearts white, but the white rabbit told him he was late for the poka in valhalla...... But then Odin informed the group that Ragnarok was upon then...

[HLGStrider]

Which of course he wasn't and Thor fell into the Raman due to this disinformation where he was quickly beset by Zues and Jupiter at the same time. . .which was very confusing considering they were the same person.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and Ryoga got hopelssly lost in all the chaos, and found himself stuck inside a bonsai tree being taken care of by ed.

[Wonko The Sane]

And Ed grew a third arm and started to feel up the plant while talking to his new guest.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Ryoga and the Bonsai tree were very cocerned and wondered what on earth ed was doing to them.

[HLGStrider]

And Ed messed up the entire route and had two weeks worth of overcode and the people threatened to kick Wonder Bread out but didn't because Rob came back, and he is such a great Wonder Bread man.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then Jet came and saw what happend to his Bonsai trees....needless to say it was ugly.

Meanwhile....

Miroku and Sango were begining to have a heart to heart discussion followed by a very WAFFY moment, BUT miroku had to feel Sango's rear and that was totally spoiled.

During this strange snippit...

Inuyasha and Kikyo were caught making out together by Kagome, Kagome was devestated. Inuyasha wondered why?

Also happeing during this scene...

Shippo began to russian dance on Sessomaru's head....wait thats Rin on Sessy's head!

[HLGStrider]

That was just too odd. . .Somebody in the back row fainted.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"KUKUKUKUKUKU! that was my evil plan to make you all confused!" Bob said while he was being chased down by Kenshin.

[HobbitGirl]

Egwene and Elayne were very confused by all these Japanese names, and decided they would rename everything in a Wheel of Time fashion. Soon Hobbit Girl's name was changed to Hobbit da'Mirei, and this made her very angry. She asked her gorgeous green-eyed sweetheart to do something about it. The gorgeous green-eyed sweetheart talked to Rand, but Rand misenterpreted him. Rand just went crazy and called down lightning to destroy Arad Doman. Darn Domanis, they deserved it, with thier skintight see-through clothes. Yuk.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"NO YOU DONT!" said bob, "WE like funny japanese names more!"

[Wonko The Sane]

Then Bob screamed "LACTOSE INTOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[omnipotent_elf]

which was very strange as he was eating a big pink jellybean at the time. Bob saw the skin tight clothes of the domani and got very excited........

[HLGStrider]

Then he tied him to a wall, stuck a funnel in his mouth, and force fed him saurkraut until he was twenty-six and a half years old.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than INuyshas came back and said, "No one can defate I Inuysah!"

[Wonko The Sane]

And then she beat him with a chain and made him call her mistress.

Just like those annoying people next door to us in the Bath hotel.

[Tar-Ancalime]

needless to say inuyasha was not very thrilled with begin chained and rebeled

[omnipotent_elf]

and was utterly disgusted when some commented correctly "hey, you got weazels on your face"

[Tar-Ancalime]

INuyasha then yelled, "You are worse than kikyo, Naraku, and sessomaru combined. I'll kill u all!" Inuyasha broke his chains and brought out is sword tessaiga

[HLGStrider]

Bob ate buttery popcorn as he watched.

[Tar-Ancalime]

He sliced his captors into little tiny bits, and got a couple shikon jewel shards too. Kagome gave him a congradulatory kiss. then kikyo came...

[HobbitGirl]

And Kikyo was struck down with a lightning bolt called down by Rand. Why? Because Rand is crazy. Totally crazy. And it's a real shame too, cause the fate of the world rests on his shoulders.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Tar rejoiced at the demise of kikyo (you know tar just hates kikyo) Inuyasha wasnt thrilled by it but he'd live.

[HLGStrider]

Gosh all mighty, Bob said.

He then ate some gum drops and a large bowl of chilli and two tacos and a bean buritto and a bowl of saurcraut.

[omnipotent_elf]

and swelled up like a balloon, which was nifty as zebras came riding by, and some hours later, Bob turned into the first ever bareback zebra rider....

[Tar-Ancalime]

which was atttacked by Lord Sessomaru.

[HobbitGirl]

Then Dart arrived on the scene, in all his Dragoonish glory, and he slew all the Balrogs with a wave of his hand. And all the ladies swooned, and some fainted, because for a video game character, Dart was HOT!

[HLGStrider]

In fact he was so hot that the entire field of corn next door started popping.

"GOODIE!" Shrieked Bob. He ran around sprinkling salt and butter on it all.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Sessomaru yelled to dart,

"I'm the very pinnacle of perfection and so much cuter than you are. I will relieve you of your misery and kill you!" Rin, his almost daughter like human companion said,

"Sessomaru-sama gonna kill you."

[HobbitGirl]

Dart just gave the crazy Japanese dude a funny look when he threatened him. "You cannot kill a Dragoon!" Dart chuckled. He flew out of Sessomaru's reach. And yes, he could fly. Dragoons have wings. Dart stuck his tounge out at Sessomaru as he flew around.

[HLGStrider]

Bob started hopping around singing "Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunning trail, hippity hoppity hippity hoppity Easters on its way!"

Then Julian Bashir hit him over the head with a crow bar and Dax wasn't sure who he . ..or she. . . was.

That was why it turned out the large globe on the top of Professor Plumb's desk was a giant orange which started to develop aggressive tendencies. It was not due to the radio activity coming off the nearby UFO that was assimulating a field of Holstiens in order to make good Tillomook cheeses and fly off to Mars.

[HobbitGirl]

"TILLOMOOK!!" Bob screamed, and hurled himself onto the chessy delights. He tore at the cheese rabidly, and no matter what anyone said, he would not stop laughing with his mouth full. He ate and ate and ate, until he was roughly the size of a Goodyear blimp, and even then he wouldn't have stopped eating unless Cloud and Tifa hadn't hoisted him up onto Captain Domon's ship and sailed him away to the Sea of Storms.

Elsewhere and at the same time, Nynaeve was battling the giant orange that had agressive tentancies. The giant orange was winning until Nynaeve used Balefire on it. Then the giant orange no longer existed. "Eeeeexcellent," cackled Nynaeve.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Sessomaru camly laughed, "I am no human, I am of demon conception. Unlike my wretched half brother, I have true power!" AS sessomaru said this he went into his true demon form, a gigantic dog with poisonous breath, "prepare to die, all of you"

[HobbitGirl]

Dart was almost worried when Sessomaru transformed. Almost. But Dart was already transformed into his Dragoon form, and he had not even begun to display his power. Dart rapped his magic armour with his sword, making sure everything was in place. Then he smacked himself for ever doubting Dragoon armour. "Bring it on, homey!" Dart said to Sessomaru. This was definitly going to be an epic battle.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc: Oh this'll be fun

Then Sessomaru ran towards Dragoon and slashed at him with his terrible claws. But dragoon said, "Ha you missed ya slow poke" Jaken, who is sessy's ugly servant said, "How dare you!" But sessomaru was less angerd and panted his posionous breath on the battle ground

[HobbitGirl]

Dart the Fire Dragoon flapped upward, avoiding the poisonous breath. He then dove at Sessomaru, slashing spiffily with his superly cool sword. The demon dog dude rolled out of the way of Dart's slashes, so Dart flew a little ways above him to prepare for his next attack. He sheathed his sword, put his hands together, and when he drew them apart, a huge fireball was between them. The fireball hung suspended in midair, then Dart punched it, sending it flying at breakneck speed straight towards Sessomaru.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but sessomaru eliminated the fire ball with his whip. He then jumped towards Dragoon with intense ferocity , knocking the super cool sword out of his hand . He flew backa way from dragoon takking his sword and changing into his much prettier human form. "now that the battle is equal let us fight."

[HobbitGirl]

Dart smirked. "Okay," he said. Before the other dude could do anything, Dart was flinging fireballs left and right at him, and the air was full of fire. Dart flapped up a ways and put his hands toward Sessomaru, and a wall of flame surrounded him and began to close in.

OOC: Eek, I gotta go to bed now. We'll continue tomorrow.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but this did not remotely frighten sessomaru. He glided his way out of the enclosing cirle and waited for the battle to continure

ooc: anyone else it would be polite not to interupit this

[HobbitGirl]

Dart was mad. This Sessomaru guy was a jerk. How could he just glide through a circle of fire? No matter. This time Dart put his hands toward the Japanese dude, and fire completely enveloped him. It was on all sides, above and below as well. Sessy was totally trapped within the scorching blaze. Not even this superly jerky demon dude could stand up to Dragoon fire from all sides. So ha!

[Tar-Ancalime]

But unbeknownest to Dragoon person sessy completely flew away far above darts head, "You underestimate my abilites." Then Sessomaru got out his whip and hit it towards Dart. He tried to block it but it got dart in the cheek. Sessomaru then zipped and punched dart with his poison claw.

[HLGStrider]

And Bob wept because this wasn't funny at all and only vaguely ridiculous.

[omnipotent_elf]

a big hand of god came from a cloud and pointed at bob, saying in a low menacing vioce "it was rude to interupt, you will surely pay"

[Ol'gaffer]

And then nudged bob off a cliff. "Much better" he said in an omnipotent voice.

[Valdarmyr]

Baghdad Bob, er I mean Bob plummeted to the bottom of the cliff :( and boom, he fell straight on a rock :eek:. But actually it was more like boing-oing-oing, because strangely enough, the rock was made of rubber, sort of soft rubber, so it bounced three times like that!? :D Bob boing-oing-oinged up and--Whoa, Keanu fans :cool: --he landed behind the counter of a McDonalds, where he started taking drive-thru orders :o.

[HLGStrider]

Then he was attacked by a sacred cow named Amy with a PVC pipe.

[Tolkien Adictee]

Fortunately, Bob's skull was sooo thick, that the pipe broke over his head. Bob threw a hamburger in Amy's mouth, and she ran away coughing and hissing. Then he ran through the wall into Farmer John's house. Once inside, he hid under the bed. But it broke throught the floor and he fell onto a couch, then the bed landed on him. He didn't die but he was really hurt. Suddenly in walk a camera crew and some actors dresed as doctors. Yelling things like "Stat!," and "Clear!," and "I need 10 CCs!," and all that other stuff that is used on ER. Bob found thisvery annoying so he got up and hopped away on the pogo stick he borrowed from Adam Sandler. He arrived at Disneyland and went on all the rides... twice. Then, after that, he bought a ticket to Japan. Although, it wasn't a plane ticket. He had to ride in a small, smelly boat. He awoke in the small, smelly boat and found that he had slept pass 6:00! He had to get to work. Then he remembered he ahd been fired years ago for mental health issues. He walked around Japan for a while, wondering why everyone kept saying they were from Ohio. He didn't have anywere to sleep, so he bought a cardboard box. He also bought a hamburger. After eating it he swore he would never eat meat again. He called his dad on his cell phone, yes his cell phone (he had been put in jail for begging), and asked him to get him out of there. So, his dad flew in his spandex and cape and picked Bob up and flew him to Chicago. After watching Chicago, Bob left the theatre and asked if he could be flown home. "Sure," said his dad, picking up Bob and flying away into the distance. They were, however, sucked into a jet intake and forced to make an emergency landing in Hawii. Bob didn't mind though. Finally, after arriving home, he collpased on the couch and flipped on the TV. The news was on, and the newscaster was saying, "A bird flew into a jet intake three days ago, this unfortunately created a fatal problem. The plane went down near the Hawian islands...". Bob, felt he had to do something, so he played monopoly, then he went to his time machine! He got in and set it for three days. WHAM! He was hit by the jet. He sent himself back four days this time, and he was pleased to find himself in "Chicago". He ran outside only to step in a small child's icecream. He bought the kid another icecream and headed for his limo...

[Valdarmyr]

...and who should be in the limo but Viggo Mortensen, broken tooth and all! And Bob asked Viggo, "Aragorn to the airport?" And Viggo said, "Maybe, but you're not gorn anywhere!"

[HLGStrider]

Which turned out to be occupied by Micheal Jordan; a smaller man with a goatee, sunglasses, and a red kilt; and a girl named Maria who was taking a letter addressed to the goatted fellow's wife with sort of a salsa beat in the background.
"Um. . .this isn't the way to San Jose? Is it?" Bob swallowed.

[Valdarmyr]

So Bob, Viggo, MJ, Goatee Man and Maria are all in the limo, enjoying the sassy Salsa beat and gazing out the limo windows at the passers-by, but nobody can see in, and they laugh about this insouciantly, all except Viggo, who's a man of the people, they're his people, and he shall die as one of them, or so he says in the heat of the moment before battle. Bob's a huge LOTR fan who loved FOTR but thought PJ took too many liberties with TTT, and he knows Viggo's a great actor, so they do a little riff on "Young Frankenstein"...

Bob: "Viggo to airport now?"
Viggo: "Why are you talking like that?"
Bob: "I thought you wanted to."
Viggo: "No."
Bob: "Suit yourself...I'm easy."

[HLGStrider]

Then the horses neighed harshly and they put the candle BACH!

[omnipotent_elf]

which caused a very large fat cat to sit on bob...

[Tar-Ancalime]

"but to look on the non existing serious side of this tale, it is entirely fascinating to see how many times one can die, be brought back to life and what you can see." Said the announcer who was picking his toes.

[Wolfshead]

Then his toes turned green, fell off and spontaneously combusted. Much to his annoyance.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Grrr....... GIVE ME MITOS
the almighty peanut wishes to be minty
WICCA WICCA WHAT WHAT
you dieny me the FRESHMAKER
Wait a cottion picking minute you will not sink my cheerio you are all zombie thigh fat people whell ehh that lipstick is the wrong color on you.........................
OH MY GOD TIMMY'S IN TROUBLE
CITIZENS OF MARS IF MY DEMANDS ARE NOT MEET I WILL DEPRIVE YOU OF YOUR SO CALLED "PREPERATION H"
CHILDREN EAT YOUR SIBLINGS
*tar isn't responsible for this reoko got on her name and is now on the floor demanding the dustmites obey her every command*

[HLGStrider]

Serves her right for telling Romeo to get lost and go jump in a lake. The poor boy did it and now he is at the bottom being forced to play poker against a giant squid and Han Solo, and we all know that that squid is really Harry in disguise.

Do you know what the trouble with Harry is?

[Tar-Ancalime]

He happend to meet sally? a random audience member guessed

[HLGStrider]

No, but I'll give you a hint. It involved blue ketchup, a rabbit named Jorge, and a dog with a goatcart full of trombones. . .76 trombones to be exact.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and all the people gossiped about lovesick boy who had crush on his x girlfriene

[HLGStrider]

So he attacked them with a blow dryer and buffed all their CD's with a tissue paper bunny rabbit named Alf.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then a brave voice cried out of the blue, "STOP!"

[HLGStrider]

This was for the obvious reason that the light was red now. Then the light turned green and the dogs went. GO DOGS GO!

They went to the tree to the dog party and yes, he liked her hat, and Winnie The Pooh caught a heffalump using a baloon for bait, but he didn't know who his mother was so he ran off with a snort to where the Wild Things were. Once there he took his purple crayon and drew a Grinch.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Hey arent grinches green?" a confused audeince member asked then *drumroll* came *drumrolll* MR. KNOW IT ALL MAN!

"actually while most are green some can be purple..." and he sort a went on and on.

[HLGStrider]

Until he was sunk by a Tomahock missle.

[Wolfshead]

Except this missile had a modification! It dispensed a clone of George Bush which then went around hitting people on the sinking ship with a rubber mallet, telling them to be more patriotic.

[Wonko The Sane]

And then he realised he was fat and hairy and so he took of his shirt and showed everybody.

[omnipotent_elf]

which drewgasps from th crowd, before one very weedy, gangly indiviual from a nearby crowd shouted "that looks exactly like the chest of an actor who played hamlet in a live preformance i once saw ". The crowd, upon hearing this began reciting versions of rosencrazt and guilderstien are dead....................

[Wonko The Sane]

....Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

[HLGStrider]

Julie Andrew's shrieked and hit someone over the head with a computer speaker. Fortunately it was the little kind, one of those shaped like an apanana, a mix between and apple and a bannana. Unfortunately the person she'd hit turned out to be. . .

[Aulë]

...Russell Crowe!
"I'll get you for that!" he yelled, and proceded to beat Julie Andrews to a pulp.
Russell the hopped onto his tugboat "Tugga", and set off to China to beat up some more people, whilst singing songs and acting in movies.

[Wolfshead]

Except it turned out not to be Russell Crowe at all, it was infact, John Culshaw! Whom only Brits will recognise, but never mind. After finishing his Russell Crowe impression, he moved onto doing Tom Baker and frightened some passers by. They thought he was trying to save the world again... Many years after Dr Who was thought to have died!

[tookish-girl]

Which of course, suprised passers by even more when he actually did reveal himself to be Tom Baker.

"Good lord" said an old lady pushing a wheelbarrow of turnips "I thought you'd died"
"Alot of people make that mistake" laughed Tom as he gave her some jelly babies and then left in an old police box.

The old lady was much surprised and ran off down the street, when suddenly, something happend to make her turn over the barrow of turnips in shock. Her face went white and damp as she beheld........

[Aulë]

Rangerdave dancing the polka, clad only in his underpants!
"Ack!" cried the old lady, "My eyes have been soiled!"

[tookish-girl]

RangerDave spots the turnips on the road

"Mmmmmmn, food!" he cries and hungrily chomps away, (well he's a Ranger, they don't get much to eat...)

The old lady blindly walks away, unable to see and wishing to retrieve her sight, hopefully to see more pleasant things, like kittens, daffodils, poppies blowing in a field of wheat.

She walked on down the street, a sign at the side of the road read:
"Lost your sight after a freak incident involving a half-naked Tolkien forum mod? More common than you think! Step inside for free treatment!"

Unfortunately, she couldn't see this and walked straight by, however, 5 miles down the road a kindly wizard offered to help her by using his amazing new magic.....

[Aulë]

....Ketchup Bottle.
"Just stand over there, old lady," he said, " And I'll giving you a good squirt of this sauce."
The old lady hesistantly complied, and was quickly covered in a thick layer of red paste.

[HLGStrider]

"Now that's just wrong," frowned a red head who was growing a beard and looked like a deranged pirate. . . in fact, it was a pirate of the carabian from treasure planet and Captain Ron shot him with a rocket gun pickle.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which was really a cucumber. And it hit Pamela Anderson in an overinflated mammary extension and she said....

[Aulë]

"Yay! This silly RPG is going to be shut down finally!"

:P

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks said, "NOBODY WANTS IT SHUT DOWN!!!"

[Aulë]

And Aulë said: "Well it is- Webmaster is shutting down all TTF RPGs!"

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks replied, "No he's not he's just having all NEW RPGs be started in the new place. He said we could continue the current ones here if we wished."

[Aulë]

Then Aulë replied, "No, Ciryaher said that all RPGs should be finished as soon as possible, and if they don't appear to be finishing in the near future, they should be abandoned."

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks said, "I spoke to Cir personally and he said we could finish them up here and take as long as we wanted."

HAH!

[Aulë]

And so Aulë turned Wonks into a Dwarf for being so silly.:p

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks turned Aulë into a woman for being so stupid.

[Aulë]

Hmmm, this can't be all that bad....
;) Geez I'm hot....:p


*Turns Wonks into a Japanese Whooping Llama for called me stupid*:D

[Wonko The Sane]

*Whoops Aulë to France and then turns him into an American*
Hehe.

[Aulë]

"T'sup dudes? Hows it hangin' in da house? I'm off to da West Side!" said Aulë before 'she' was attacked by crossaint-weilding French people!

Meanwhile in Japan....Llama has become the favourite food of millions....

[Wonko The Sane]

Wonks whopped Aulë back to a male and sent him to Sibera. Then she whopped Japanese people til Aulë changed her back!

[Aulë]

Aulë then sends Wonks off to a church in England with Snaga.

[Wonko The Sane]

I'M STILL A LLAMA!!!!!!

*Thwacks Pippin and sends him to the same church so he can change her back and she and Snaga can get married*

[Aulë]

Turns Snaga into a Llama, and pronounces Miles and Drewzer as Llama and Wife.

[HLGStrider]

Then all the Sims down in Simville got mad at Elgee's brother when he started a riot just for the fun of it.

[Wonko The Sane]

And the happy Llama couple kissed like two passionate Llamas would and then both proceeded to kick the carp out of Aulë AND Elgee's brother the rioteer.

[omnipotent_elf]

grabs a flaming torch in the riot, and decides that it's time to roast llama rotisserary style

[Wonko The Sane]

Wonks stomps Omni-Elf with her Llama hooves and puts out the torch with her spit.

[omnipotent_elf]

re-lights torch

[Wonko The Sane]

Wonks the Llama spits on the elf and then kicks him to Pakistan where he can't bother them anymore.

[omnipotent_elf]

*attempts to dig a hole to china, but from pakistan digs right to england*

[HLGStrider]

All very odd indeed," said the two spies from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Then it blew up. . .don't ask me what it was, because if I tell you I'll have to kill you.

[Wonko The Sane]

The "It" was Omnipotent-Elf.

But fortunately I don't have to kill you becauase it's not my mission!

[HLGStrider]

Dang, she ruined my mission!

This post will self-destruct when the mods see fit to destroy it!

[Wonko The Sane]

THIS THREAD WILL NOT DIE!!!!

A green alien appears on the scene and zaps someone with a Kill-O-Zap gun and then takes everyone to the Great Sandwhich Maker from Bob. :)

[Valdarmyr]

But once they all piled out of the Chevy and went inside "Bob's Great Sandwhich Maker Diner" (sic), the waitress accidentally served the green alien a Llama sandwich, and everybody gasped :eek: including the green alien, who leaned his head sideways and said, "Wang-tang-biddiley-bong-bung-frang-kutwang-smmmmiiiirtttsssccchhh!!! I'm a vegetarian, garsh blarsh it!" Then Otis Day and the Knights came out and did "Shama-Llama-Ding-Dong," with Bob sitting in on bass.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which wasn't really a bass but a cucumber. A sentient cucumber who bit Bob while screaming "Oi! Dancin' boy!" at the top of his lungs.

[Aulë]

BOB IS GONE!!! STOP BRINGING HIM BACK!!!

'Bob' then ripped off his face mask, revealing that he was in fact Legolam!
In the distance, Snaga the Llama eyed off her rear with great interest....

[Wonko The Sane]

And Wonks gets mad at Pippin_Took for saying dumb things when he thinks they're funny and storms off.

[omnipotent_elf]

omni lands from being exploded, taking out aule.......

[HLGStrider]

And it was coca-cola classic, not the newer, sweeter, variety.


The globe spun and spun and spun and the United Arab Emirates colided with Cuba and Maria started to sing "I Feel Pretty" to a cow named Moo.

[Aulë]

Moo didn't take this too well though, and decided that Maria needed to be eaten.
After Moo had consumed Maria (and a blueberry for desert), the poor cow broke contracted Mad Cow Disease.

"Moo Moo Moo," Moo Mooed, "Moo Moo Moo Moo"

Moo then swam the Altantic to America, where it hunted down Elgee- the only known cure to the disease.

[HLGStrider]

Elgee extended the hand of many blessings upon the cows forehead of great hurt and the cow rolled over and began to worship the lilac bush outside Elgee's house. Then the lilac bush started to sprout super-sour gumballs.

[Wonko The Sane]

Which were carniverous and ate Elgee and the cow right quick!

[HLGStrider]

And Bill O'Rielly said to Wonks, somewhat saracastically, that she had to be pithy if she wished to opine. Then Sean Hannity got into a fight with Phil Donahue and it ended up very messy and Elgee was reincarnated as a Fox News Reporter, but she got fired for batting her eyes at Shepherd Smith who was OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SO cute!

[Wonko The Sane]

But that never happened as Elgee had been unfortunately devoured by carniverous gumballs in the last scene.

In reality Bill O'Reilly invited Wonks on his show and told her that THIS time, she was the smartet one in the room. And Sean Hannity had to agree.

And then he punched Combs in the gut. Which I think everybody has been waiting for for some time now.

[HLGStrider]

Wonks, who hadn't been reading very carefully, obviously hadn't noticed that Elgee had been reincarnated. Therefore Elgee laughed and offered Sean an Alan-shaped punching bag before kidnapping Shepherd Smith AND Aragorn AND the cute boy with the wonderful brown eyes she knows in real life and ran off with them to Chile. Once there she had to decide, and you know that was really hard. . .

Meanwhile, Bob wasn't exactly sure what had happened, and Fox News was mad at him for involving them in this totally ridiculous story, so they sent him to CNN after Greta Van Sustern had grilled him nicely.

[Valdarmyr]

But after his high-energy stint at Fox News, Bob found that when he got to CNN, Judy Woodruff and Aaron Brown seemed to be moving and talking in slow motion, and he promptly fell asleep and dreamed he was back at Fox again, assisting that heavenly Jennifer Eccleston...

And just before he drifted off to sleep--he looked like Frodo fingering the Ring as he did--he wondered to himself, "Is that Heidi Collins or Mary Stuart Masterson?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"But it was Marlon Brando!" wined a young lady in the audeice

[Wonko The Sane]

And then EVERYONE on Fox news DIED!! Including the one Elgee took to Chile.

And Aragorn poofed out of existence not actually being real and all.

And the choice for Elgee was made.

[HLGStrider]

So Elgee locked him in a closet to keep all for herself, still morning the loss of Shep.

[Lifeling]

Little did Elgee Know, that inside the closet... was a... Killer rabid squirell! So the Cute boy with the brown eyes Is being torn apart by thish thing... and of course elgee locked him in the closet...So now the thing is like latched onto his face which he is slamming profusely against the door.

[HLGStrider]

So the dwarf in the pocket of a trench coat in that closet fed the squirrel a bearclaw so he stopped and Elgee and the guy disappeared, never to be in that story again.

[Wonko The Sane]

Because they very naughtily married in Vegas and went off to make Baby Brown Eyed Elgees. :) *laughs*

[Lifeling]

Bear claw... Ha!

Anyway... at the funeral for all the fox news people, a yougn man named Trenton New Jersey got up to speak... "All these people", he said in a solemn voice, "Were idiots. They were frauds, fakes, liars, murderes and so on... We come here today to mourn their passing. it is a sad thing when the world loses a group of it's stupidest most idiotic and terrible people". Trenton New Jersey got down from the podium and wandered off into the nearby city, an unknown city... It's Queen is Angoreth... He wandered into this city seeking to collect every piece of broken glass he could find, because.... hey! somebody might step on them...

[HLGStrider]

Meanwhile the democrats had turned the funeral into a political rally, which resulted in political backlash. Then Bob, who hadn't been paying attention, won Tom Daschle's senate seat as a member of the SAVE THE EURASIAN EMU party.

[Estrella]

And then Benjamin franklin came back from the dead as a zombie, and challenged Bob to duel of rubber bands for the seat. and Bob, being an expert rubberband shooter, accepted. But Franklyn pulled a nasty trick, and attached a rubberbands shooter thingy to his kite, with a key, so the band would have an electrical charge, and hit Bob right in the eye, causing him to go blind and his eye to swell to the size of a fly's. So he became fly man, and ate lots and lots and lotsssssssssssssss of sugar. ( like me hehe
:p )

[HLGStrider]

"MY EYE! HELP! R2! HE'S EATING MY EYE!" Bob yelled as the welcome committee welcomed Estrella to the forum. Then Leia said "I AM NOT A COMMITTEE!"

[Estrella]

Nearly falls out of her seat laughing so hard. picks up the mangled eyeball as though it were the oscar. " thank you, Thank you, i knew all my sugar highs would pay off someday." Waves all royal like to her adoring fans.

[HLGStrider]

Bob fainted and woke up in a hospital, surrounded by a chior of penguins, and being fed jello through a tube. He closed his eyes, imagining coffee icecream and begged for mercy.

[Lifeling]

It was here that bob met his fate...
"hello bob, I'm your fate:-)"
"No that's not true that's impossible!!"
"Search your feelings you know it be true!"
"NOOOooo... wait your my what?"
"Your fate, I've come to rescue you!"
"Aren't you a little short for a fate?"

[HLGStrider]

Then Chewbaca snapped the fate in half. . .it was the defeat of de fate!

[Estrella]

And the fate said " hey, be glad i atleast have both my eyes" Mutters, " jeez people these days... Anyway, i'm here to lead you to your ultimate goal in life." and Bob raised his eyebrows. " what?" The fate acted all mighty and god- like. " It is your fate to lead the world into the new era of peace and harmony. Your must find the biggest bowl of icecream in a minature golf course,and meditate deeply for an entire game. then you shall receive a message. " the Fate picked up a suitcase, and put on some sun glassed and a hat. " chao, i'm gonna miss my flight to Tahiti?!" and The fate Vanished.

[HLGStrider]

"Yipperoni's," said Bob. "Do you think I can do that and still be on time for my date with Sharon Stone?"

Now everyone knew that Bob was hulucinating. He did not have a date with Sharon Stone. He had a date with Nicole Kidman. Now that was just plain odd. . .

[Estrella]

The fate blinked back quickly. " Oh yes.." whispers, " actually, the sign comes up when someone gets a hole in one .. so it depends." Snickers. Anyway. good luck on your date. " Plane, wait for meeeeeeeeeee!" disapears once more.

[HLGStrider]

Bob looked around and discovered a sign sticking up out of a hole in a golf course. This sign said "Watch out for deep holes." Bob dove in to look for his ice cream and landed next to a family of moles who were complaining about the high costs of cosmetic surgery.

[Estrella]

seeing this as an opportunity to keep his date, Bob walked up to the moles and asked " Can any of you play mini golf well?". An old grouchy mole came up and said in an agitated voice " Minature golf, MINATURE! and yes, i happen to be a very good minature golfer!" the mole held his head kinda high in pride. " why do you want to know?" Bob said " Well, i need to get some sort of sign to pop up on the giant icecream cone, and i need someone to hit a hole in one." The gopher raised an eyebrow. " why should i help you.? what would i get out of it?" At this Bob started to think, and remember that all moles are blind responded. " In my ever eternal gradatude, i wil perform your plastic surgery for free. " Lying even more, " i happen to be a plastic surgeon!"
Bob mentally prided himself on his cleverness.

[HLGStrider]

The moles were so happy. Maybe with beauty brought aobut by surgery they could beat the gophers this year at the Junior Miss contest!

They set about to work. . .

Unfortunately, before they could hit a hole in one, it was realized that moles are a sign of skin cancer, and someone had the moles removed.

[Estrella]

Bob was then late for his date, and now had no moles. he began to question, if the fate was real, when the fate reappeared beside him.

[Lifeling]

Bob was speechless...

[Aulë]

Because he had decided to play 'Fluffy Bunnies' and his mouth was stuffed with 64 marshmallows!

[HLGStrider]

Fate hit him over the head with a pencil sharpener made of playdough and started to dance the macarena with Bob's former date. Bob started to cry. It wasn't fair.

It was then that a bowl of icecream popped out of the ground.

[Lifeling]

Now this was not a bad bowl of icecream that barked for no reason... it was a good ice cream bowl that sat quietely, obeyed commands, and could even fetch... "Oh well", said bob as he hurled the bowl of icecream off the nearest cliff. a tear came to his eye...

[HLGStrider]

Then Bob was arrested for this hienous act.