Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[Celebthôl]

YAY!!! i make the 2000 aswell and the 1000 :D

And everything was destoyed :D and Bob again began to fall....

[BlackCaptain]

Into a space-time continuum! He fell and fell forever, watching twisted clocks and the sort. He then see's a white rabbit run across with Alice chasing after him

[Celebthôl]

So he whips out his shotty and takes a shot....

[BlackCaptain]

It hits her and she explodes, causing Bob to fall asleep because her fairy dust sprinkles on him

[Celebthôl]

When he wakes up he is on a hot air balloon floating about...

[BlackCaptain]

He falls off and lands in the same bar where the Midges wen't phsyco on him. He ran out, stole a Toyota Previa and took to the highways.

[Celebthôl]

where he crashed as he had a midgie it his eye and he...

[BlackCaptain]

Sneezed. But he forgot to close his eyes! Which forced the Midge to fly forward through the window. Bob got out and was abducted by aliens where they...

[Celebthôl]

...poked him with a giant finger and he chuckeled and surrendered

[BlackCaptain]

Surrendered his tickleishness! Bob took control of the ship after locking the Aliens up in a Ziplock® Bag. He took a quick pit stop at the Eiffle Tower

[Tar-Ancalime]

"why was he doing that you might wonder...." the narrator didnt really know

[BlackCaptain]

Neither did Bob. He swam backacross the Atlantic, after finding the lost city of Atlantas. He was now married to a Mermaid

[HLGStrider]

It was all because Tar had a full pm box which sent the world into chaos. . .and from that chaos arose one supreme leader of the entire universe. . .the one. . .the only. . .RUBBER DUCKY OF WESTMARCH!

"Hello, Dad," he said.

[Tar-Ancalime]

And now that Tar had been informed of her full pm box by eglee the world was in order and the rubber duck of westmarch got his very own foot massage

[HLGStrider]

Then dogs nibbled on his toes! OH THE AGONY!

[BlackCaptain]

But they stopped once the cat's came in and started yelling crazy things at Bob. The dogs got scared and turned themselves into Venus Flytraps

[Tar-Ancalime]

why??you might ask..b.ecause they really liked ham

[BlackCaptain]

Mixed with Salsa and liver

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob decidd that was a rather nasty meal and stuckw itht he sushi

[BlackCaptain]

While he was eating his sushi at a McDonalds on the southern coast of Mexico, he ran into a fine old chap named Mr.Worthalotofmoney. Mr.Worthalotofmoney was poor, and looking for a job. Bob tried to find him one

[Tar-Ancalime]

but he couldnlt lucky for mr worthalotofmoney that he was the related to bill gates

[BlackCaptain]

Mr.Worthalotofmoney gave Bob 50 bajillion dollars (which was merely pocket change for him) for his efforts at him finding a job. Bob went out and bought 20 Bajillion gumballs at Meijer

[Tar-Ancalime]

why gumballs and Mijjers...

[Estrella]

It turns out bob had gotten a tip from the Rat Mafia that teh Gumballs had the all rare precious metal Goobstan in them. Turns out the tip was wrong, and bob found a cat to eat the Rat Mafia.

[BlackCaptain]

After that was done, Bob went into a large building. Strangely it was his house, and his mom made him cookies

[Celebthôl]

Which he gobbled down and thanked her....

[Tar-Ancalime]

then he moved of africa with Karen Blixen

[HLGStrider]

They sat in a Bubble Gum tree and sang "Sweet Home Chicago."

They did the entire Blues Brother's soundtrack, but this attracted Carrie Fischer who attacked them with an X-Wing and a bag of pizza left overs which she used to. . .

[Tar-Ancalime]

poison there toes then she met the great white hunter....or was that robert redford in disguise

[Celebthôl]

After that he got totally confused as there were so many people here that he didnt know, they were even trying to kill him with pizza leftovers, so he...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Jumped off of a building, and somehow lived through the experience, and found that Buddah, or whoever was up their had given up on reincarnation and Bob together and made him immortal

[BlackCaptain]

Bob liked being immortal, so he ate up all of Mexico. He got indegestion from all of the tacos though

[HLGStrider]

He went looking for a gigantic dose of peptobismo but all he found was asprin. . .so he ate that and immeditately turned purple. Budha struck him down for his impertanence.

"Now now," said cowboy Bob, "That isn't the cowboy way."

[Tar-Ancalime]

A very confused bob said, 'toto i dont think were in kansas anymore."

[Estrella]

NO they were actually in Ohio, at the Pie eating contest.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob didnt want to be anywhere but his home in the begining of the story (what was that called? Its been so long) he whined, " I wanna go home to that place iw as in the begining of the story!"

[BlackCaptain]

So poof! He traveled through time but missed his house horribly, landing in a gigantic statue of Fidel Castro. He sat and thought about what it would be like to burn flowers...

[Tar-Ancalime]

seeing as BC or bob was a pyro fidel arested him for thinking

[BlackCaptain]

And BC had no idea what Tar just said because it made absolutely no sense. Bob would fall in love with Tar if she told his good pyro friend BC ...

Bob now decided to go ahead and burn flowers, and got arrested for doing the earth too big a favor

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar apologized for her misundestood insult,she was in a pissy mood while bob was in jail met Amos Jaspesonwinkle, who was a retired nasa scientist and hated periods

[BlackCaptain]

Magicaly everything that anyone in the entire world thought for the last 5 years was forgotten and Bob was at his house again... right back where he started oh so many posts ago...

Bob went downstairs and ate the chicken instead of the egg.

[HLGStrider]

Stanley Edwards Brocoli the Second came through the door and hit Bob over the head with an artechoke for only having one name!

[BlackCaptain]

Then Madona came in and saved Bob's life by eating the Broccoli up. There was a big romantic kiss but then Madona turned into Sesshoumaru! He ripped off his mask and started chasing after Bob

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc: someone metioned sessy-san besides me!

but bob's only intent was to kill him

[BlackCaptain]

And he tried to, but Sesshoumaru could only be destroyed in the Cracks of Mt. Doom. So Bob found his way to Mt. Doom and led Sesshoumaru up and into it. Sesshoumaru found a shiny Ring laying on the ground, picked it up, started dancing for no apparent reason, tripped, and fell in.

Bob started dancing too, and fell in. Luckily there was a heat resistant snail that saved his life and flew Bob to safety

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar yelled "REWIND!" and now that never happend. and Sesshoumaru was safely in the warring states era chassing after tetsugia.

[BlackCaptain]

And Bob's part now turned into an Afro. Friday Night Fever baby! Here Bob Comes!

Bob did the Charlseton instead

[Tar-Ancalime]

so he decided to join gatsby at his party watching

[BlackCaptain]

When he was done watching, he left and couldn't find a ride. He started walking and walking. His snail friend met up with him and they had a lovely dinner at Snails'R'Us.

[Tar-Ancalime]

then after dinner bob ate figs from Cleopatra's palace

[HLGStrider]

One of them had a green and white worm inside, and it is a great crime in Egypt to eat a green and white worm due to them being protected under the 1787 law which forbids the eating of any worm protected under the 1687 law which forbids the eating of any worm not protected under the 1289 law which forbids eating any worm that is not green and white. . .

Basically, in Egypt it is illegal to eat worms.

[BlackCaptain]

Luckily Bob was in Canada where it was only illeagle to eat birds. Bob ate the worms

[HLGStrider]

Bob looked about, wondering why Cleopatra's palace was in Canada, and the worms began to beg for mercy, which prompted the Canadian courts to make a worm protection act. Bob was caught up in the middle of a GIANT lawsuit.

He got Scott Petersen's lawyer and then appeared on Greta Van Sustren (who had earlier been vaporized with the rest of the Fox personel, but was hosting a "dead people's" show on the physic network).

[BlackCaptain]

Luckily, Bob had wed the Judge before the case took place, so he won. He got 50 bajillion dollars. He went to see Mr.Worthalotofmoney to show off and brag.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then a particularly ugly looking reporter questioned bob saying,

"How did you do it! You swine...you ate poor defenseles worms...did they say it as alright with them!" Bob looked at the stupid woman and yellled,

"Worms cant even talk you wench!"

[HLGStrider]

She blinked. Looked around, and said, "Oh. . ."

She had never thought of this before. In fact, she had never thought at all before. Now her mind was opened. Bob had opened it. She could think. . .

She threw herself at his feet begging him to marry her. He took pity on the ugly creature, kissed her, and she turned into Reese Witherspoon. Now she and Bob married and ran to Hawaii. . .

Unfortunately, the judge persued them and arrested Bob for bigamy.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob being dumb asked, "whats Bigamy?"

[spirit]

"look it up in the dictionary to stupid idiot!" said the judge

[Tar-Ancalime]

"O...ok" Bob said and ran off to cry

[BlackCaptain]

Bob ran all the way until he got to Madison Square Garden. He ran inside and people found him, but make up on, gave him a costume, mask, and gloves. The pushed him out and there was a big Ring. He started wrestling someone who goes by the name of Kane.

:D :D :D :D :D :D

[HLGStrider]

He was squashed into a pancake and served up with Maple syrup for supper to a large family of Irish Wolfhounds who were all complaining because their ale had gone flat.

[Tar-Ancalime]

too bad bob wasnt a glass of ale

[HLGStrider]

"Well," thought Bob, "at least I'm not flat. . ."

Though considering that he was a pancake like thing he was flat, which was a fallacy in his reasoning.

[BlackCaptain]

The wolves started playing frisbee with Bob, until they stopped having fun. Bob was all alone and flatter than a flaty mc'flatflat.

[HLGStrider]

He hit the bubble gum tree and stuck to the side. Robin Hood showed up, painted a series of red circles on him, and used him for target practice.

"I feel your pain," said Boromir.

[BlackCaptain]

Which he did, because that very moment the Ted Nugent shot an arrow right at Boromir's left pinky toe. It killed Boromir. Bob ran as fast as he could, because he was back to normal. He tripped and fell into Moria

[HLGStrider]

He fell for a long while, but after awhile, he got used to it and landed on a Balrog.

[BlackCaptain]

They became good friends and had a tea party. They had Orc for breakfast.

Then Wonks came in and joined the tea party. "Yrch?" offered Bob. "Yrch? Yes please!" replied Wonks. They ate in happieness

[HLGStrider]

It was so nice that they didn't notice that it was starting to rain. . .actually, it wasn't rain, exactly. . .it was some purple stuff that the king had summoned even though Barthlomew had told him not to!

[BlackCaptain]

Bob wasn't enjoying his company, so decided to leave. He met Gandalf on the way. Gandalf told him to fly, and that he was a fool. So, low and behold, Bob jumps down into the great Chasm flapping his arms crazily

[Tar-Ancalime]

Amd Tar lay languidly on a raft in a swimming pool in florida having virgin strawberry dacaris

[BlackCaptain]

Bob landed on her. It wasn't a pretty sight. So much water, so much belly smackingness... Bob started swimming laps because all of the spectators told him to. Tar still sat in the middle just enjoying world class swimming. But that was BEFORE the dragon came and ate allthe spectators. And BEFORE chipmunks laid seige to the pool

[HLGStrider]

Gandalf smacked his head with his hand and said, "Why do I bother? Why do I even try?"

He then entered politics and became president of Moldova. He hired Bob to clean the stables, but the chipmunks wouldn't let him have him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar grew very bored of this waiting for her LOTR DVd to work in her new labtop.

[BlackCaptain]

So she punched it really hard and it worked! The chipmunks left in awe of the awesome power of Tar. The dragon even got scared and cried. The air-force came in and brought Tar and Bob to the white house. Tar became the president, Bob became the first man. But who said they were married?

[Tar-Ancalime]

they were, but Tar didnt know the meaning of fidelty....it mattered little...as she did SUCH a good job administering justice

[BlackCaptain]

When her term was up, she ran again, but lost to the Chipmunk king. A acornship was laid to all of America, and it was changed from the USA to the UAOTA. United Acorns Of Total Acornnessmenship. A

"Accorns yesterday, Accorns today, and blimey, if it don't look like Accorns again tomorrer," said one of the trolls

[Tar-Ancalime]

tar innocnetly wonderd where bob , her husband was, then rememberd her role model Catherine the Great of Russia and decided she didnt care much then she formed a resistance group to the chipmunk king and BC, HGLstrider, and Bob joined along with alot of other people

[BlackCaptain]

A fierce debate arose between the resistance and the evil Russian people, because the russians were now evil. Motzart came in and started playing greensleaves, but was interupted when Kane came back and chokelsamed him.

Sesshoumaru flew in from the cieling and had spongebob with him this time. Sauron ate the sponge-impersonater of Bob, and war broke loose.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar asked Sesshoumaru if he would be so kind to join. Sesshoumaru said yes took Tar in his arms and kissed her...tar was very happy. Bob was too.

[BlackCaptain]

Kane wasn't. He chokeslamed everyone except for Tar and Elgee, because they were ladies. He drank fine Mexican wine, and ate Sauron's ring for dinner

[Estrella]

At this point The Minature Golf Moles wandered in all in a line. "Oy Grizzy!" yelled one. " this doesn't sound like Koko beach to me! you didn't read the map!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

tar whacked Kane on the head and said, "Now Kane you apologize to Sesshoumaru!" Kane submitted and did so. Tar sat down happy, and bob said, "what about me honey?" Tar didnt respond

[HLGStrider]

Bob was so heartbroken that he jumped off the eifle tower and landed on a taxi cab driven by Oscar the grouch!

[BlackCaptain]

Oscar just happened to be going to Sesamae Street. Bob met Big Bird who took Bob's blues right away. Bob went back and whacked Tar across the head. "Are you going to apologize for that?" he asked. She responded this time saying:...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar thought a moment about this while rubbing her sore head and said, " i am bob, I should hold you in more regard as you are my lawfully wedded husband." So tar whacked kane and said ,"Apologize to bob"

[HLGStrider]

Kane did and Bob smiled and gave Tar a dimond ring!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar gratfuly accpeted the ring and kissed bob on the cheek Sessy felt jealous but tar assured him.

[spirit]

but sessy was still not too sure

[Estrella]

At this point they got caught in a time loop, and the same scene repeated itself for a hundred years!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar stopped this divorced bob and married Sessy

[HLGStrider]

Bob was now five hundred years old and had rhumitoid arthritis. . .But B'lana Torres, who the Holograms had captured along with Harry, cured him using a plasma injector.

[BlackCaptain]

When he was all better, Bob went off and bought himself a guitar. He became rich and famous and bought 50 billion dimond rings from Mr.Worthalotofmoney and gave them to Tar to try and win her heart.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar, being one who loves gifts accepted them, but said to bob, "I never married you for love. So please dont waste any more money on me"

[BlackCaptain]

So Bob bought her a new McGriddle from McDonalds. It tasted good, but wierd

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar then was no longer hungry, but she was alsso mad at bob's persistence. However instead of being angry she took a benevolent turn and bestowed a kiss on bob's cheek saying,
" I'm so sorry i dont love you, please be happy and leave me alone." Then she walked away hand in hand with Sesshoumaru

[BlackCaptain]

Bob cried, and ordered Kane to chokeslam Sesshoumaru. Kane chokeslamed Bob instead. Bob got up then ran away crying, his feelings (and spinal cord) broken

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar and Sesshoumar were happy, bob was not. Bob begged buddah to grant him his wish of gaining back Tar, however buddah turned bob into a perverted monk

[BlackCaptain]

ey! A perverted monkey! Bob ran around climbing on trees at the zoo making the spectators nausious... Very nausious... Kane chokeslamed the budah and made him turn bob into a big time wrestler.

[HLGStrider]

He took on spider man and got his rear kicked. Poor Bob . . .he wept and moaned and sobbed and was webbed.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and eveyone laughed at Bob! He prayed to Buddah," make Tar fall in love with me!" Buddah turned bob back into a perverted monk named miroku.

[BlackCaptain]

The bob tried to take over the world using his perverted charm... That didnt get too far... He was arested and put in jail cell #1 at the Gotham City penetentiary. Right next to Joker

[HobbitGirl]

Then the Chinese screamed bloody murder at the excessive amount of Japanese anime characters. The Chinese were too busy making shoes for all the lowly Americans (;)), so they got the French to make war on Japan. True, the French hadn't gotten any military action in a while, but they still knew how to be bloody. They had decapitated the whole royal family, remember. So the French stormed Japan, bringing nukes and crussants and guillotines. Bye bye Japan.

[Estrella]

The sailor scouts,( who live in Tokyo!) transformed, and started to kick the french's butts. But Serana got her pigtails cut off by a Guillatine, and then she got really angry.

[HobbitGirl]

And then some general dude, who was a shrimp, literally, screamed, "Kill zos Sailor wenches! Ze are ruining our glourious campeegn! You! Bring me zee crussant catipult!" General Shrimp began to launch flaming crussants at the sailor scouts. And then the French brought out thier other catipults, and began hurling cows, horses, pigs, churches, and Jerry Springers at the Sailor wenches. Shrimp began using taunting tactics. "Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!" he shouted. It was only a matter of time before the Japanese were utterly defeated.

[BlackCaptain]

And when they were, a big party was thrown to celebrate. Madona came accompanied by Sesshoumaru. Tar was heart broken and wed Bob finaly. Kane cried

[HobbitGirl]

And the French rejoiced, for now they had captured Japan and were about to get rich off of Sony and Mitusbishi. The French dumped all of the sake in Japan into the harbour, for it tasted like sweaty gym socks. Then they distributed Moet et Chandon. The Japanese nodded in approval. Cause if Moet is good enough for Queen, tis good enough for anyone.

Now there was an issue of cultural exchange. The Japanese tried the fatted duck liver stuff that the French are so very fond of, and they almost puked. Very few French would even try sushi; who wanted to eat raw fish? But those who did try it were hooked. Sushi is good; duck liver is not. Period.

[BlackCaptain]

Bob continued eating all the food, and Kane choked. So he slammed himself... Chokeslammed himself... That is. IT hurt, but the sushi went out of his throat. Homer Simpson laughed.

Pippin was eating Tomatos and laughed at Kane. Kane set his Tomatoes on fire. "Oh thats nice! Ash on my Tomatoes!" said Pippin

[HLGStrider]

Then Jerry Springer ran for the Senate and Sean Hannity hit his head into his desk saying, "Why? Why? Why?" and the kitties took over all the major tv networks and started broadcasting only meowmix commericals.

[BlackCaptain]

And the Dogs were angry. They sent out Huan and he failed miserably to destroy their leader Ivenhoe. Elgee lauged evily knowing that none would destroy her empire except for one...

KANE!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar meanwhile liked bob better as the perverted monk, he afterall was from the same tv show as sesshoumaru. TAr had an idea to take over the word

[Estrella]

Tar knew that the annual oktoberfest would soon be arriving in Austraila, and she knew that complete strangers would soon be sitting together. She planned to get them all angry at each other, so they'd choke each other on Brautworsts.

[BlackCaptain]

Instead they took the detour on the highway. It lead to Mushrroms. Merry was standing there with a Scream Mask on and a plastic Butcher Knife. It was scary. Bob laughed though, only to get punched in the knee

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar was devestated (not to mention wondering how insane the the ttf people were) at this failure of her plan, but not to worry with Miroku(bob) the perverted monk at her side they established a new plan

[BlackCaptain]

So they went thru with their plan, but it failed because the detonator was really in reality a Microwave

[Feanorian]

so they opened the microwave and found a tantalizing baked potato with cheese and sourcream

[BlackCaptain]

Bob ate it and threw it up on Kane's brand new black shiny boots. You can guess what Kane did...

(Chokeslammed Bob)

[Feanorian]

but then the Undertaker brother of Kane said "hey cant we all get along?" so they went for starbucks and had a delightful time.

[BlackCaptain]

And Kane got his revenge on undertaker by splashing the super hot coffee all over Undertaker's face, scarring him forever, forcing him to wear a mask as well. Undertaker accepted it, and they all got along. Now Bob had two evil body gaurds:D

[Feanorian]

Whom he preceded to eradicat because he realized Midgets would be so much cooler.

[BlackCaptain]

The midgets tombstoned the brothers and Bob laughed. He didn't even want to marry Tar anymore! Why get married when you've got midgets?! Bob lauged evily, and tried to become the Witch King of Morgul

[Feanorian]

However when he got there he discovered that Snow White had just assumed the title Witch Queen of Morgul. He found himself in this pickle and decided to dress his midgets up as dwarves and try to assinate Snow White...uh I mean the Witch Queen of Morgul however when they got to the grand hall they realized that there Gimli outfits from the costume shop stood out a little but and they were arrested. They were then forced into midget labor which mainly consisted of being footrests and tying shoes.

[BlackCaptain]

Then Sesshoumaru came in and saved the day! There were lots of fireworks. The midgets lit most of them however cuz Sesshoumaru was far to tired from all the life saving. Meanwhile, Bob snuck out and hit the highway and came to a town called Silvertown

[Feanorian]

and the town was at War with Goldtown and Bronzetown for element supremacy. Goldtown had the best looking army but the bronze was the heaviest. However the winner was Silvertown because of their ally Platinumtown came to their aid. They saw Bob at town hall and gave him all of the credit. He was now the mayor of Silvertown.

[BlackCaptain]

He met a man named Joe Dirt and stole his Hemmy Cuda from him. Poor Dirt...

[Feanorian]

He then left in the Hemmy and went to the nearest bar to drink away the days strange events.

[HobbitGirl]

And the Japanese staged a revolt, with Silvertown and Platnum town with them. They caught the French off guard, and voila! The Japanese were free again! Then there was much joy, and elation, and celebration, and feasting on pears, and plums, and fruit bats....

...and ham-fried bacon, and bacon-fried ham, and ham fried rice.

And then Sir Lancelot tried to throw the Holy Hand Grenade of Anitoch at Bob, but accidentally blew his hand off. As a result, all explosives, discounting sparkelers and snakes, were banned from the states of Utah and Colorado. Fortunately, shells were still legal in Wyoming, and the fourth of July was saved.

Huzzah.

[BlackCaptain]

And Kane and Undertaker were adgetated because HobbitGirl's posts are always so scary and confusing:D . They took their anger out on poor Joe Dirt and double chokeslamed him. "Luckily my neck broke this here fall of mine" he said

[HobbitGirl]

And HobbitGirl said, "AGITATE THIS!!" And she did a chokeslam plus a full Nelson combined with an elbow drop on Kane and the Undertaker. All in good humor of course.

[BlackCaptain]

So the brothers laughed and were happy. Bob laughed too, but he got chokeslammed instead. Bob was soo sad. He went to the Sears Tower and was about to jump off when...

[HobbitGirl]

...the Flying Dutchman flew up and whisked Bob away to the pinneapple under the sea. And who lives in a pinneapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants.

[Tar-Ancalime]

when his long lost third cousins room mate named Peggy sue anne Marmalade jones told him that his life was too good for this fate.

[HobbitGirl]

And HobbitGirl chuckled cause she had beaten Tar to the punch.

[BlackCaptain]

But it was the Punch of Stupidness and HobbitGirls IQ went down 50 bajillion points!:eek:

[HobbitGirl]

HobbitGirl stumbled around, rather incoherent for a while, until she found her foon. Hazily she picked it up. Suddenly power flowed from her fingertips throughout her entire being. She was charged. She was energized. She was no longer stupid. She was a Maiden of the Foon, one of a society of warriors that was a force to be reconed with indeed. Suddenly she burst into song, singing the ancient anthem of the Foon Sisters (as the Maidens of the Foon are sometimes called): Killer Queen. The song rang out through the staduim, and several people held up thier lighters.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar laughed as Hobbit girl struggled

[BlackCaptain]

Kane took all the lighters and lit himself on fire because he was so used to it. Undertaker laughed at him. Then Kane set undertaker on fire again, along with the whole crowd

[HLGStrider]

Bob got a job in an espresso shop but then he mixed up the mocha and Kona mocha powders and was fired by a nasty guru named Adolf who had a pet snake named George.

[Tar-Ancalime]

bob was fired becaue he supposedly had an affair with George the pet snake and thye accused him of animal abuse....(eww that was gross)

[HLGStrider]

It was so gross that Elgee pouted for them perverting her ridiculous story!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar, and bob apologized for their rudness and rewound the event, so it occured that bob wasnt fired for sexually harrasing the snake, but for putiting to much milke into the espresso

[HLGStrider]

Elgee stopped pouting and got Bob's job.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and the world rejoiced!

Meanwhile, back in Camelot Sir Lancelot and King Arthur were having an intense discussion.

" Sir Lancelot! I cannot believe how uncouth you are! You ate my last donut!" King Athur shouted as he stared in dismay as Lancelot shoved the last chocolate sprinkle donut in his mouth.

"I thought you were mad about me boinking your wife?" Lancelot said in confusion. King Arthur was sorely offended.

"You think that I'd allow something that foolish to get me down! I'm very offended,and what are you doing eating the last chocolate eclair now you vile pig!" King Arthur yelled in dismay as lancelot starred bewilderd with the chocolate eclair hanging out of his mouth.

"As long as it doesnt bother you Arthur, can I have that last jelly donut?" Lancelot asked, Arthur hit his head against his throne and groaned,

"NO one respects royalty anymore!" Lancelot ate the last donut and walked off

[HLGStrider]

And Bob said, "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob then moved to another demension where he saw an alien.

[HLGStrider]

Never having seen an Alien before, Bob was not quite sure what to do with it. He put it between two slices of bread with some cheese and took a bite.

[Feanorian]

and as he took a bite he noticed he had a nagging case of lock jaw and needed to see a dentist. Upon arriving at the dentist he quickly found out that it was a disco dance club/dentist office. He decided to dance instead of getting help. Besides the dentist was on the dance floor anyways

[Tar-Ancalime]

So bob had the oddest tooth job known to man kind, his incisor was in the front and his two front teeth were in back...Bob was a mess!

[Estrella]

But the dentist was also a plastic surgeon. he got bob mixed up with someone else, and instead gave bob chin implants.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Why did you give me chin implants! How daft

[HLGStrider]

The dentist did not like being questioned so he hit Bob with some laughing gas and charged him double the normal price. Bob had to sell himself into slavery to pay for it. He was bought by Howard Dean who wanted to use him as a fundraiser.

[Tar-Ancalime]

so there bob was, wandering around chicago aimlessly wearing a cardboard bilboard over his black suit and trench coat that said,
"Eat slugs now, its better than eating sluts! Support howard deans anit-slug/slut campeign!" Needless to say Bob felt he lived an unfulfilled life

[BlackCaptain]

He went to the House of 'dem Blues, and called for the Bartender.

So he came down hee'ar
He said "Whatchu need?"
Bob said "One burbon, one scotch one beer."

Too bad Bob was under age...

[HLGStrider]

Nancy Drew, the Ring Wraith in charge of Under Age Drinkers, swept in to destroy Bob, but just then Howard Dean drove up in a pink yugo and yelled out, "UN-HAND MY SANDWITCH BOARD MAN, YOU INFERNAL RING WRAITH OF A TEENAGE DETECTIVE!"

Nancy Drew snapped her cat of nine tails at him and morphed into Hillary Clinton.

"The White House is mine!" she snarled. Dean fell to the ground and kissed her feet.

[Estrella]

and then a herd of rampaging elephants came through, crushing her.

[HLGStrider]

Bill, amazed at being suddenly single, invited Bob to go out partying with him and they partied the night away and two or three days and six more nights and one afternoon and two or three mornings. . .it was quite interesting.

[Estrella]

They went to a safari party at the zoo. There all the animals got loose, and they we're crushed by a herd of rampaging snakes.

[BlackCaptain]

And Mr.Slitherin came in and started crying because Lord of the Rings was so desperately and purpostorously cooler than Harry Potter.

[Tar-Ancalime]

It's really to bad bob actually wasnt underage, he just looked that way..besides bob never does know how old he is. Then Vicious, a lean mean syndicate man began to chase bob down muttering something along the lines of,
" How dare you see Julia behind my back!" Bob was quite confused and asked,
"Who are you...and who's julia???" Vicious was angerd at Bob and said,
"Aren't you spike???" Bob replied,
"Ehhh...NO!" Vicious walked off and bob wonderd what the hell that was all about

[Feanorian]

so Bob being very stressed lite up a jack when he was confronted by Smokey the Bear which was curious because before then he hadent noticed he was in a forest.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and he was put in jail where he met Spike, who asked bob,
"have you been seeing Julia behind my back!" Bob responded,
"Who is Julia...come to think of it who are you!" Spike asked Bob,
"ARe you Vicious?" Bob yelled,
"NOOO!"

[Feanorian]

and then he fell out of the prison onto a floating flower which took him to Mt. Doom where he dropped in an engagement dream that said to Vicious from Julia and he said "what?! Everyones doing it!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob had to find out who this Julia person was? and who knows maybe he would end up going out with Julia! So bob called a private detective to hunt down Julia.

[HLGStrider]

They found her but she shot the detective, took the money, and ran. Bob joined forces with Billy Mac, a detective down in Texas
He knows exactly what the fact's is.
He aint gonna let those two escape justice.
He makes a living off other people's taxes.

'GO ON TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN. . ."

[Feanorian]

but everyone decides they would rather go to a Fleetwood Mac concernt because there have been so many boring 2 hour long specials on them on VH1 lately, they quickly become fanatical groupies.

[Tar-Ancalime]

So Julia ran to the prison and freed spike and they kissed...happy end...until Vicious came holding bob hostage

[HLGStrider]

Bob was then attacked by the Eagles and the Steve Miller Band and all the other musicians from the generation of Elgee's father.

[Feanorian]

and Elvis is alive!!!

[HLGStrider]

But seeing as Elvis was Elgee's Grandparents Generation, not her parents, he did not appear in this episode. . .Elgee's Grandmother doesn't even like him!

The Elvis fans were mad because they had wanted Elvis in that episode, so they attacked Journey and the Wheel in the Sky stopped turning.

[BlackCaptain]

Which caused the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse to come down from the un-rotating wheel and spread fire and ash throughout the whole world. It was terrible.

Kane felt right at home though... for once he was happy. He had some tea and started chokeslamming cats all over the place. Elgee got so mad that she saved the world, and tickle-tortured Kane right to hell

[spirit]

a very evil vampire came and then sucked kane's blood and became the most poverful think on earth! no ome could kill him and all he wanted was hell on earth!

:):):)

[Feanorian]

but his horrible rampage was stopped by a bouncing ball in the road. a little boy ran out to get it and the vampire sad "awww" but the boy was no ordinary boy but Stuey from Family Guy...He blasted the vampire and invited a helpless Kane in for some RandR.

[BlackCaptain]

Then when the Vampires back was turned Kane sucked all of his blood, making KANE the strongest being in the world!

But then Kane realised the Vampire was Bob! He tried to save him, but could do nothing! He brought him to Elrond and was all better.

[Feanorian]

Then they decided there was nothing left to do for the day except light up some Old Toby and break out shots of Ent drought. :D

[Tar-Ancalime]

and poor bob being stuck in the middle of this fight he never started! so he crawled in a corner whining," What did i ever do i'm alwasy in trouble and eveyrbody hates me!"

[BlackCaptain]

Kane comforted him and made him feel better. Bob and Kane were officialy the coolest people in the world now.

Meanwhile Tar and Sesshoumaru got in a fight and divorced eachother

[Feanorian]

Bob and Kane dethroned Harry and Loyd from Dumb and Dumber as the coolest people in the world but it was alright. So they all got in the dog mobile and went back to Aspen for a reunion.

[HLGStrider]

Bob was just too cool for his own good. So they started to sell Bob Popsicles.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar pulled black captain aside, hit him on the head saying, "We were divorced along time ago, dumb butt!"

[HLGStrider]

This was too much for him. He fainted into a pool of monkey stew and was eaten by. . .

[spirit]

he was eaten by shelob, and suddenly he woke up screaming like a little girl, and saw that everyone was staring and laughing and pointing at him...:p

[spirit]

he was eaten by shelob, and suddenly he woke up screaming like a little girl, and saw that everyone was staring and laughing and pointing at him...:p

[Feanorian]

which turned out to also be a dream but this time when he woke up people were screaming at him because he had fallen asleep and accidently driven to Mexico instead of Canada where evidently they were trying to go.

[Tar-Ancalime]

So BC, with Bob in his back pack and a spinning head explored the landscapes of mexico

[HLGStrider]

He discovered a secret gate that magically and instantaneously transported him to Calcutta. His fortune was made. He set up a business selling trips to Calcutta. Unfortunately no one in Mexico wanted to go to Calcutta, they wanted to go to Istanbul, and a man next door set up another magical gateway that went to Istanbul and Bob lost every bit of his business.

[Feanorian]

one night bob had Kane switch the two signs so that people thought his door would take them to Instanbul but the week after that a big boom to go to Calcutta came into town and Bob was put out in the dark again.

[HLGStrider]

"CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!" wept Bob. The Enterprise E then crashed next to him and all the crew ran for the hills. Bob looked at the large space ship and a great, money making scheme came into his head.

[Feanorian]

this idea however quickly vanished when Bob saw a leaf floating in the wind. he followed it through yet another door to the lost city of Gondolin which was a ghost town.......he quickly remember the space ship....brought it to Gondolin and opened a bar/amusement park...the spaceship became the main nightclub.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar, Elgee, BC, Faenorian, Sesshoumaru, Miroku, the harrison ford triplets and janice came and partyed.

[HLGStrider]

Then the band started to throw bottles at the customers, which the customers were fine with because they were recyclible bottles and they took them in for the five cents deposit. One of the Bottles, the one that Bob picked up, held a message in it.

"Help!" it said, "I am being held captive in a bottle factory!"

Bob set out to rescue this fair maiden in the bottle factory. Unbeknownst to him, but knownst to us, this was all a clever ruse designed by. . .

[Tar-Ancalime]

By none other than Thomas Crown! and when Renne Russo said,
"Stop it dont hurt them!"

[Feanorian]

Thomas Crown was in actualality Pierce Brosnan AKA James Bond and he needed there help to capture the newest villian who was none other then..

[Tar-Ancalime]

Sean Bean, playing 006 who was also known as Alex.

[HLGStrider]

Sean Bean, Alex, 006, who was also Harrison Ford (Jack Ryan, Han Solo, Indiana Jones)'s rival in Patriot games, and a generally evil guy, came back as Boromir to redeem himself. ..but he got shot and Bob had to take his place.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar criede becaus she was falling for sean bean cause tar thinks he's really hot!

[HLGStrider]

Bob started a shop in Fangorn selling chain mail and beaded helmets that were really quite decorative, but then one day a customer cut down a tree outside his shop and the ents blamed Bob. Bob sobbed for mercy, but they stole all his chain mail and used it for fishing nets and went fishing and the mail all rusted.

Tar stuck her tongue out at him.

[Feanorian]

Deagol's mother who was looking in all the waters of Middle Earth for her son's murderer got caught in the chain-metal. But she still found time to reprimand Tar for bad manners. And who came to her rescue.....Gollum's son..whose mother was........

[Thomas Baggins]

Natalie Portman A.K.A queen Amidala, who had fallen for Gollum because of his 'cute little teeth'.

[HLGStrider]

She began to dance the tango waving scarves in the air, hypnotizing Bob who began to sing the song that never ends.

[Feanorian]

at this point Lambchop the loveable Sheep puppet appeared as did the little kids who always sang the song on his show......this made Kane........overjoyed and he began singing and Bob popped out of his trance.

[Tar-Ancalime]

But Charley horse felt it necessary to point out that,

"Hey dude!Bob why are you here?" he asked bob, bob shook his head, cursed and replied,

" You tell me!"

[Thomas Baggins]

"I would tell you" Charley Horse replied, "but I've lost the power to talk, see." "wait" Bob said, "you're talking now," "no I am not! horses can't talk."...........

[Tar-Ancalime]

"See really I'm talking." Cheryl( that was her name right?) said. "See bob im a puppet master." she stated putting charly horse down

[HLGStrider]

But her name was Sheri. . .so she decided to put Bob through a paper shredder! It was then that everyone realized that Bob was a paper doll.

[Wolfshead]

*Comes back to thread after about 40 pages or so...*

Bob, being in grave danger (as a paper doll, you never know what might happen, you might get eaten by a paper-eating sock), obviously got himself into more. Some small green, african mongeese stole him from whoever had him before, and began to toast him lightly over a match. Well, several matches because they kept on going out, and the mongooses burnt their fingers, except mongeese don't really have fingers, more paws and Craig had ought to settle on a fixed plural for mongoose and stop writing in incredibly long and drawn out sentences... like this one.

Then, all of a sudden ********* appeared! ********* saved Bob, and Bob was eternally grateful (rather like the little green aliens in Toy Story). Except Bob didn't know who ********* really was because instead of letters, he had used cunning asterixes! Bob stated this in no uncertain terms to *********, and ********* replied that there was a great need for secrecy, but he was infact.............

[Tar-Ancalime]

bob was horified!

[HLGStrider]

because everytime he tried to say the name a moderator came in to the room and hit him over the head with a rubber mallet.

[Tar-Ancalime]

which was pathetic beacause we all know it shouldve been a gavel

[HLGStrider]

but they didn't care. They didn't care at all.
Bob cried.

[Thomas Baggins]

Suddenly Bob stood up and stoped crying, he was becoming real, not....... PAPER "Yea!........"

[Tar-Ancalime]

he cried as he felt the flesh on his body, but then he got shot..so i gues life wasnt that great afterall.

[HLGStrider]

Fortunately he only was shot in the foot. He hopped up and down and up and down, clutching his foot. It became a new dance craze and everyone started to do the Bob Hop.

Eventually the name was changed to the Hob Bop, however, and Bob's part in it was forgotten by all but a few, deranged individuals on a web-forum somewhere.

[Thomas Baggins]

But Bob didn't care that he was almost forgotten, because his last name was full of Hope, even though the Hope had passed away.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Since niether were on mainstreem, prime time TV they actually were forgotten and no longer important to all the newly accepted fads that all sucked anyway

[HLGStrider]

It wasn't fair because Bing always got the girl at the end of the Road pictures anyway even though Bob was so much more fun. . .

[Thomas Baggins]

But alas he couldn't have everything well at least he was real and not paper. Although thought Bob, 'maybe I have some hope, if I improve, then I can get the girls and be funnier, Hmmmmm.'

[Tar-Ancalime]

So he tried this by watching all the Sean Connery James Bond movies (since we all know roger moore was just a big ugly pilaf head anyway). And within two weeks of self changing habbits he was an almost genetic double of (young) sean connery. Sexy welsh accent and all! ^^

[HLGStrider]

He drove around town in a Austin Martin and had a grand old time. But whenever he got a date she'd push the wrong button and end up ejected by the ejector seat.

[Tar-Ancalime]

while this drove away most women, it attracted ***** galore's cousin, who liked getting judo flipped

[HLGStrider]

But seeing as the editting software did not approve or Ms. Galore's first name, a perfectly legitamate word in many cases, she had to be striken from Bob's list of possible dates, and he was left alone. . .but he still had his surface to air missiles!


and his trunks. . ..

[Tar-Ancalime]

but nobody other than the lady with the suffocatingly brilliant intercourse postions named Xenia Onatop from Goldeneye found her way into Bob's car. But since bob wasnt trained in fending off strangling thighs he about died until Xenia was shot....lucky for bob!

[HLGStrider]

Elgee questions Tar's sense of decency for a moment. . .

[Tar-Ancalime]

eglee had every right since tar was very hyper tonight^^She was infact so hyper she began to sing to bob,

[HLGStrider]

too much caffine!

[BlackCaptain]

And bob joined her and sang duet. Tar felt sad because her fame was being shared and not all for herself

[Thomas Baggins]

Bob didn't care though, because he wanted some fame for himself, so he continued to sing, stealing all of Tar's fame untill he was the most famous singer to ever walk the earth and Tar was nought but Tar. But poor Bob lost all his fame when Tar went public with all of her blackmial material that she had on Bob, becoming the most famous blackmialer ever. Even more famous then Bob was with his singing career.

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

*remembers when this story first started*

Bob, gathering all his blackmail and toenail clippers, travelled to Hollywood to unleash the blackmail to the press. But in a freak toenail clipping accident, the H in the HOLLYWOOD sign fell on Bob and crushed both of his legs off.

[Tar-Ancalime]

whilst tar was very unhappy about how her fellow ttfers regarded her

[BlackCaptain]

then the Black Captain came to Hollywood and resurected the H, saving Bob's life in a strange turn of events! He then went and did ANOTHER nice thing and apologized to Tar for making her ridiculous in the ridiculous story:rolleyes: :D

[HLGStrider]

Bob was so grateful to BC that he begged to become a member of the Nazgul! Bill O'Rielly didn't want to let him join the ranks, however, though Nancy Drew did because she thought he was "Kind of cute." The decision was therefore up to. . .

[Tar-Ancalime]

ursula andress, you may ask how the first bond woman ever came into this strange story...heck i dont even know!

[HLGStrider]

What sort of a name is Ursula anyway?" Bob scowled. He waited for her to make up her mind.

[BlackCaptain]

BC regreted to inform Bob that he had abandoned his fellow Nazgûl and tried to find quotes to make himself look big and bad and famous again. He was going old school:cool:

(Look Down)

[Tar-Ancalime]

ursula andress spoke finally, "Bob can join! It's up to me after all right?" then bond said, "No when they told you that you were to help decide they were deciding to see how stupid you were... i see they've proven thier point."Ursula was shocked as Bond paid Dr. No, 1000 dollars and mutterd, " I expected to much of her.

[HLGStrider]

Then the tarantula attacked!

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

(I love Bond movies!!!)

But the tarantula was not attacking Bob, but instead a cat who was trying to kill Bob! unfortunately, the tarantuala died in the struggle. And then, Bob became a professional cat and kitten exterminator, and went on a cat killing spree in North America. Many dogs and disgruntled employees joined the cause, and soon the cat/kitten killing club spread to the entire world, and every cat was killed and made into the biggest fur coat ever seen, which Bob wore wherever he went.

No cats and or kittens were left alive!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Eglee was very sad and cried a river, that river was named Eglee river!

[BlackCaptain]

BC chased Frodo and Arwen to the River and Arwen said something in Elvish causing BC to be all washed up. His new robe was soaked... And it was winter so BC suffered from Pnumonia

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar burst into the scene, wearing the garb of a japanese miko and whacked BC on the head saying,

"Selfish git!"

[BlackCaptain]

"So you're not in the limelight for two posts... er... i mean minutes... and i'm selfish is that it?! Well fine! Dark Captain of Mordor now begrudges the Dark Queen of Mordor!" and with that BC stormed off to the home of Godsmack's lead singer (Real life Minas Morgul) 's house and plotted his revenge

OOC - I'm only begrudging you for the story;) :D

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar felt highly accomplished and spent the weekend in rivendell hitting on male elves. Bob, arwen, and frodo were really scared.

ooc: I know that!

[BlackCaptain]

While in the meantime BC was creating a potion that give you a spell that would drain all evilness from a person and give it to himself! It's a full proof plan, and now in Strawberry and Watermelon!

[Tar-Ancalime]

While BC planned his revenge tar, in her miko outfit, happily flirted with this black haired elf named Kirean, who was like Soooo bishie and TOTALLY Kawaiii! Even though he had a small issue with refering to himself in the third person.

[Feanorian]

Elrond(who had suspicously come back from Aman) dismissed this surfer elf and said "only I can hit on the attractive guests, you fool" and banished him. Aragorn said Arwen was flirting with the pool boy and came to talk to elrond to see what was up with his crazy daughter.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc: thank you faenorian;)

Tar was distraught by this dissimisaly of the soo bishie and totally kawaii Kirean and slapped elrond.

[HLGStrider]

Then God sent down Kitties from Heaven. And these Kitties were immortal! And they stayed forever!

[Tar-Ancalime]

The Eglee river dried up, because the cats were all alive, and Tar found her beloved Kirean. Bob and Arwen started to make out.

[BlackCaptain]

Then BC came out of no where and cast his spell on everyone! But Tar had a wierd reflection spell on so now BC was all lovey dovey. He sat in the river side picking daisey's and looking at the Clouds

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar and Kirean were very happy together, they laughed as drunken elrond started to hit on BC. Bob and Arwen still made out. Wow, they sure had great lung capacity

[BlackCaptain]

Then BC took his sword and shoved it up Elronds.... toe-nail because he WAS straight and was getting uncomfortable with Elrond's proposal to send BC on a 'Quest'