Continue This Totally Ridiculous Story...

[HLGStrider]

This is pretty typical... I want it to go a long time and be as ridiculous as possible... It is a story about nothing... keep it clean. Have some fun...

Yesterday morning Bob woke up, stepped out of bed, and fell through a hole in his floor... Down and down and down he fell... He fell for three hours straight, which caused him to miss his breakfast. Finally he landed... BOOM!!! He looked up. Far above him was the pinpoint of light... the hole he'd fallen from.

"Geez... Now I must go find some breakfast," Bob sighed. He walked around town. It was a strange town, with paper houses and such. Bob felt a little bit chilly because he was only wearing his pajamas...

[7doubles]

bob started picking roots out of the ceiling, no dought stores from nearby farms. this theivery must only be the work of the rading rabbits clique. quick bob to the bat cave. Meanwhile at fluffy menace hideout. hay paches where is the bosses take on the potato job? the boss; Fluffy the swichblade, ya bovs nice job, nice job see. these are the good stuff see, pure genuine Idaho white spud. why, we could get three carretts apeice for these bad boys from the mole gang....

[HLGStrider]

Bob was munching his root when a little group of brown furry creatures wearing large glasses jumped him from behind and dragged him down down down down down into their secret hideout...
"The law of gravity is very much against me today," sighs Bob... The mole gang ties Bob to a chair and starts to tickle him with an artichoke.

[7doubles]

i am the big cheese, king of the mole gang. why have you tresspassed in my domain. i believe the rabbits are behind this intrution, he is a clique agent. guards, bring this prisoner to the pit!!

[HLGStrider]

Uh... Rabbit, like Bugs Bunny?" Bob stammered futily as they dragged him to the pit... "NO... NOT FALLING DOWN AGAIN..."

"All right," said the big cheese. "Throw him up!!" They threw him up and he stuck half way through the ceiling half way out. This was painful. They then pulled off his bed rooms slippers... They were pink bunny ones... definate proof that he was with the rabbits.
"I wonder if they'd pay for him to return unharmed... this could be worth a few turnips."

[7doubles]

the constant torment of the artachoke tickling Bobs poor feet was just too much. sudenly yellow water came dripping down from the ceiling and landed on the head of Big Cheesy.

[HLGStrider]

ooc: Gross, 7...

The moles quickly run to take a shower, leaving Bob to try and dislodge himself from the tight hole. The top of his head was sticking through the city street and people walking by kept putting their trash in him mouth.... obviously mistaking him for a garbage can...

"This is most disconcerting," thought Bob. Finally, the garbage man came, pulled Bob out of the hole, and threw him in the back of the garbage truck... Bob traveled towards the city dump with the furious moles on his tail.

[7doubles]

where he was then dumped into the local garbich pit. meanwhile the town sheriff, Harry T Foxhound cought wind of the resent events and bolted toward the garbich dump to save his old friend Bob from the notorios mole gang and the evil king cheesy.

[Zale]

Bob had had enough. He scrambled on to the roof of the rubbish truck and, swaying precariously, made his way to the front. He dived in the passenger seat, leant across and started to strangle the driver. His fingers met soft rabbit fur. He screamed and let go. HE opened the door, and threw himself out of it, landing in an open manhole...

[HLGStrider]

DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN AGAIN!!!

Bob landed hard on his rear...
"Ow..." he moaned. "This is just not my day... and still in my pajamas with no breakfast!!!" He found a half of sandwitch from the garbage dump stuck in his pocket. It was only a little moldy and he scraped that part off and dined with relish... Unfortunately it was a rabbit food sandwitch, but Bob was a vegetarian so that was okay.

[7doubles]

as bob made his way home, he ran into his friend sherif foxhound. "how are today Harry" bob replyed.

[HLGStrider]

"Lousy... My toenails are turning purple and falling out and my teeth all ache... I think I am being poisoned by my uncle Roy, the deadly wolf of the Appalacians."

[7doubles]

Bob "ikky! sounds like a personal proublem"

[HLGStrider]

"Definately," sighed the fox. "Well, I am also trying to round up the evil mole gang who has recently robbed six produce stands. We suspect they are making the illegal drug "Veggiemite" out of the goods."
"Not that!" gasped Bob. "The villians! May I help you stop them? I think I know where the mole's hideout is!!!"
"We have to be careful, because under the guacamoli act of nineteen sixty nine they have a right to very large, peashooters."

And the fox was right. When they approached the hideout they were immediately showered with boiled peas.

[7doubles]

while runnig Bob tripped and fell into quicksand, sinking slow, bob finjly reached the bottom; when bottom oppened up into the celng of a great caveren and bob landed on a huge sticky net that covered a vast crice in the in the caveren floor.

[HLGStrider]

"Ah... what is this?" asked a high pitched spidery voice (if you don't know what a spidery voice is it is your own fault). Bob felt eight long legs pick him up by his pajama pants and shake him... "Strange four appendaged creature..."

[Kementari]

the spider poked at Bobs ribs. "ooh very plump it is. you must be tasty. you will make a fine third breakfast, yes."
The spider moved closer to Bob and proceeded to tie him up in its sticky web. Bob kicked and screamed "Begone foul spawn of Ungoliant! *cough* what did i just say? I mean Get the heck away from me you stinky overgrown tryanchula" He swated at the creatures face witch caused it to make a most ghastly high pitched screach.
"fiesty, eh? i'll teach you" said the spider. It stuck out its teeth and was about to bite bobs neck injecting him with vemon.
Just at that moment a rabbit in a tight red and blue suit leaped across the cavern and kicked the spider violently on the head rendering it unconcious.
"Follow me" said the masked bunny "i know a way out"

[HLGStrider]

ooc: Nice Kem... :D

The Bunny (Who's name will remain unknown so that we may protect his secret identity)sprang up through the hole in the quick sand and up through the hole in Bob's bedroom floor... He then punched through the roof and the ozone layer.
"Whoops!" the Bunny then gasped. "I'm late for my guest appearance in Watership Down!!!"
The Bunny dropped Bob who found himself once again falling down down down down... just before he hit the earth the Bunny swooped down and grabbed him.
"Bet I scared you!" he smirked.

[HLGStrider]

Bob was returned to his bedroom where he proceded to change into his excersize clothing. He jogged down to the club and then hopped on the treadmill... It went too fast, however, and he couldn't turn it off... It went faster, and faster, and faster.... and zoosh... It pulled Bob into the works. It spun him around a few times before depositing him in the club pool... The water started to drain, spiraling... the giant maelstrom pulled him in......... swwwish........... Bob was gone... Where was Bob???

[Ecthelion]

Bob saw he was in another liquid. It was yellow though. He saw a log and swam over to it and got on it. He looked up and saw a huge butt go up. "Oh NO!" He muttered. Then the person flushed the, yes you guessed it, toilet.

[HLGStrider]

Bob was swished down into a rank darkness... It did not smell very good... Fortunately, there was a large raft of a paper substance floating nearby and he clung to this...

He saw light and started to climb for it... occasionally he was flushed back down, but he managed to struggle to the top... he emerged in the middle of the Bunnies' secret hideout... They grabbed him, but immediately regretted it...

"Man, you stink!!!"

[Ecthelion]

When he finally looked safe, a shoadow swept over him. Bob looked up and saw a towering poo the size of the Empire State Building. In awe Bob looked up and stared at it. The poop took a giant poopy step and squashed Bob drowning him in poop. He swirled around and everything went white, well I guess I should say, everything went brown. Then........................................

[Tar-Ancalime]

a genitically altered rabbit who was mixed with a swallow named Mrs. Bunny Brown swooped down and saved bob from drowning.Then she flew bob to her hole in the tree, and gave him herb stew.When all seemed to be going peachy tragedy struck...very hard a gigantic mouse worm hit the bunny-swallow in her left wing with is slimy tail...The bunny-swallow tried to hit the mouse worm with the soup ladel but was tripped with the mousy-worm and Mrs. Bunny Brown fell on her face in the soup. The mousy-worm picked up bob and dragged him to her secret lair

[Ecthelion]

Then the creature bent over and................pooped punds and pounds of poop upon Bob...........

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:enough with the poop!

Then the Bunny-Swallow name Mrs. Bunny Brown recoverd from her tripping and rescued poor bob from the pooing mousey-worm.

[HLGStrider]

Thank you Mrs. Bunny... You have saved my life.
How can I ever repay you?"

"Quite simple. You must now get me five lion hairs off his mane, a doggy bisquit, and three salmon eggs."

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Then I'll be off marm and don't you worry I will get those things," Bob says as he leaves the bunny-swallows home.

[HLGStrider]

"Brave boy," Bunny-Swallow sighs. She wipes a tear from her eye and then goes inside to watch her favorite soap.

A news flash comes on
"ATTENTION!!! A FUGITIVE NAMED BOB WEARING PJ'S AND BUNNY SLIPPERS IS ON THE LOOSE. HE IS DANGEROUS. A MEMBER OF THE BUNNY GANG."

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then bob remembers that Mrs bunny lived in a tree and falls down to the ground."Damn! that hurt really bad!" Bob screams. mrs bunny notices she looks down ,"you alright boy?" she asks. "Oh i'm just peachy!" he angrily responds. "you don't sound alright should I get a first aid kit." Mrs Bunny asks. "It might help" bob says with anger and sarcasim. Mrs. Bunny Brown swoops down with a first aid kit

[Ecthelion]

Then Bob pulls out a poop flinger gun and poops the thing with the firs aid to death. Bob laughs and runs away.

[HLGStrider]

The evil Bob, having turned to the dark side, is now relentlessly pursued by the brave crime fighting team of super bunny and the fox from earlier in our story.
It was not hard to find Bob because he was the only guy in bunny slippers.
The fox closed in... Just as a group of moles rushed up and started a fierce firefight.

[Tar-Ancalime]

In the rush of the activity, bob ran away from the fighting and hid in a cave with a frog named Jerry-Bob.

[Kit Baggins]

Suddenly an enormous ffot (a la Monty Python) descended from the ceiling and squashed Jerry-Bob. Terrified, Bob ran out of the cave, only to be pursued by short green furry things on pogo sticks (can you tell I'm insane :D ?). Torn between fighting and being mercilessly bounced on, he ran back into the thick of battle.

[HLGStrider]

The fox saw him coming. With a cry of victory he rushed up and grabbed Bob by the collar.
"It wasn'tme!" Bob gasped. "It was my evil twin."
"Tell that to judge Willow," the fox said.

[Ecthelion]

Then out came The Knights of Ni! Ni NI NI they said making all around crouch to the ground then the leader of The Knights said...........

[HLGStrider]

"NI! Bob is our prisoner. He is the one who has offended our traditions. He must suffer the ancient torture right of ni ni ni ni ni!!!"
"NI NI NI NI NI!!!" chant the ni-ers. "NI NI NI!!!"
"Sure, take him," shrugs the fox.

[Elbereth]

The Knights that say "NI!" get very agitated.

"NI! NI!" *the fox jumps back in fear*

"We not only want BOB! We want you to bring us a SHRUBBERY!!!" says the leader of the knights. The other Knights chatter in agreement.

"A SHUBBERY! I CAN'T GET A SHRUBBERY!!! What do you think I am...a GARDENER!" , the fox says outraged.


"NI NI NI NI NI!!! THAT IS UNEXCEPTABLE! Weee, the knight that say NI shall take you also as prisoner as well!!!. "NI NI NI NI NI!!!" "

[HLGStrider]

The Ni Knights take Bob and the Fox and a couple bushes and plant them in the ground. They then start to dance around them yelling "NI NI NI NI NI".
"Is it just me or are these guys really annoying?" Fox scowls.
"Yeah.... I'll take the judge any day," Bob moans.

[Tar-Ancalime]

In a reckless act of bravery and cunning (not to metion utter skill) the black knight recently defeated by Arthur hobbles his limless torso over to the Knights who say ni
"Have you seen this king guy around here? He wears a crown and talks about his court at camelot." he asks.
"NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI ,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,
NI,NI,NI,NI,NI,NI, this king has not passed by leave before you torso-man become priisoner." the Knights of ni respond.
"Oh bloody hell all I ask is if king arthur passed by and I get a migrane, bugger!" The limless knight says while amazingly moving along the ground.

[HLGStrider]

The delimbed knight starts to leave but trips over Bob, freeing him from the dirt. The Knights give a cry of horror.
"NI NI NI NI NI!!!"
They chase after him

[Tar-Ancalime]

the limbless knight rolls his eyes and says,"bloody morons." while hobbling away

[HLGStrider]

"I hate it when this happens," scowls the fox. He is then approached by the chief knight who is carrying a blender, a six pack of Coronas, a live chicken, and an electric cattle prod.
"This does not look good," Bob thinks.

[Elbereth]

"BOO!!!" yells the fox...which scares the chicken...causing the knight to fall over, droping both the cattle prod and the six pack of corronnas in the process.

Bob starts laughing, but then the fox, nudges him to get moving and the two run out of the forrest...with the angry sounds of "NI!" trailing behind them!

[Ecthelion]

Soon they come to a giant castle. The fox and Bob yell "hello? Can someone let us up please?" Soon a French sticks his head over the window. "Go away!" 'No we need a place to hide!' "We will not let you. I **** in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of enderberries!" Soon after cows and other animals fly over the castle at Bob and the Fox.

[Elbereth]

Bob turns to the fox...

"Is it just me...or did we walk into a Monty Python movie?"

The fox opens his mouth to respond...when a spotted cow lands on him...squishing him to a pulp.

[Ecthelion]

Soon the Knights who say NI come after Bob and find the castle fring animals. The knights get abgry so the battle "NI NI NI NI NI NI!" said the knights "MOO MOO WOOF MEOW!" Bob slipped out and watched the battle.

[HLGStrider]

"Okay, that was wrong," Bob breathes. He then takes off and dives into the moat. He hears a familiar John Williams theme... Da-da... IT IS HALISTER! THE EVIL SEA MONSTER WHO LIKES JOHN WILLIAMS THEMES!!!

Halister starts humming the Imperial March from Star Wars. To battle him Bob starts a selection of Star Trek themes.
"I HAVE FAITH, FAITH OF THE HEART..."

[Ecthelion]

Then a big nuclear missle falls out of the sky and..............

[Elbereth]

the bomb proves to be defective...and falls into pieces...landing all over the moat ...angering the EVIL SEA MONSTER. He then ignores Bob, as he swims to and fro complaining and muttering to himself.

[HLGStrider]

Bob, however, has been struck by a piece of falling misile and has lost what wits he has. He is immediately transported to another world where Captain Picard and Janeway are fighting Kirk and Archer for superiority. This lasts until Spock leads a counter attack and hits Bob on the head again.He falls back to earth, right on top of Halister.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and then in some freak accident(or unlikely happening) Bob is teleported to the Millenium falcon where he finds Han Solo and Leia organa making out

[HLGStrider]

"Stop that right now, young man!" Bob here's himself burst out.
"Why should I?" Han scowls.
"I am your father!!!"
"I thought you were Luke's father," Leia frowns.
"No that's... uh... wait... Never mind," Bob decides. He then disconnects the hyperdrive and gets carried off by a mynock.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than R2 reconnects the hyperdrive

[HLGStrider]

and the Falcon shoots off into space, barely missing a supernova. VROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Bob, hanging on to the back with the mynock eating his toes, is severely shaken.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and then they reach Bespin

[HLGStrider]

Lando makes a move on Leia and Han shoots him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than they go back to the falcon and face the empire starship avenger...Vader's plan fails to capture luke becasue no bait is there.Bob lands in vaders arms after being flung through space

[HLGStrider]

He knocks Vader's hat off, revealing Meg Ryan.

"MY SECRET IS OUT!!!" She/he weeps.

[Tar-Ancalime]

so bob begins to pick vaders nose.

[HLGStrider]

Vader calls in Dr. Von Trapp Von Eidenheiden Von Schimdt Von Trap, the evil Natzi torture guy to take Bob away. Deep the the Star Destroyer's belly, the evil Dr. begins his interrogation.
"We have ways of making you talk..."
"Well, I when I was a kid my parents bought me a quick sand box. I was an only child... eventually..."

[Tar-Ancalime]

than when all seemed lost for bob Indiana Jones came and saved bob and Marian from the evil doctor dude, and puts bob in a sack so he can be taken on the airplane to egypt so Indiana jones can find the lost arc

[Ecthelion]

Then Han Solo, Indiana Jones get in a fight, and out of nowhere comes the Han solo from K-19 comes in and they all start fighting. After awhile Darkhelmet appears. He uses the shwartz and kills all the Harrison Ford's. Now he has his ring pinted and Bob about to inflict the Shwartz on him.

[Elbereth]

*Bob then points to something behind Dark Helmet*

"Look over there!*

Dark Helmet looks behind him....and then Bob runs away laughing

"Hahahaha...that is the oldest trick in the book. I can't believe you fell for it!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Evie from the Mummy ressurects all the Harrison ford's and they all fight Darth Helmet.Bob runs away to run into col. Sanders and president screwb

[Ecthelion]

Not only them, but a Druish Princess, Dot, and Barf. Then in their ship of NI comes the Knights. And THEN there's a clossal battle between The Knights who say Ni, Dark Helmet, Col. Sanders, Prez Shrewb, The Haarrison Fords, Evie, and the Dink-dink's and poor Bob stuck in the middle.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Suddnenly*dah,duh, duh* the documentary film maker comes in pausing the action

"Now that this story is completely and utterly failing beyond all human reason. Let me provide you with information on sexuality in the ancient world."

[Elbereth]

With everyone's attention drawn away from Bob and to the film director...Bob feels that this is the best momment to sneak away before anyone realizes that he is gone.

[Ecthelion]

But then from the mist comes the MIB holding a piece of paper. They look at it and pull out those little cricket guns at Bob. Bob is very confused so he kicks one in the shin and starts to run.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Han solo catches bob and spins him around upsidown

[Ecthelion]

Then the MIB all blow up Han Solo, but miss Bob. Now the armies fighting come to their senses and realise they all want Bob. So, the MIB, Harrison Fords, Knights who say NI, The French, Dink-Dinks, DarkHelmet , President Screwb, Col.Sanders, The Mummy, Evie, Jonathan, Evie's husband(forgot his name), and now Ewoks are running after poor old Bob. What was he to do?

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then as if bob had enough trouble Imhotep and the Scorpion king came running after bob too...Han solo had gotten up...and bob was surrounded in a corner.with Imhoteps cool powers he lifted bob up an flung him against the wall...and then....Emperor palpatine began electrocuting poor bob...and he was having the worst day of his life

[HLGStrider]

oc: you guys have me laughing so hard.

It is then that out of the blue the lone ranger and his indian friend Susie (Tonto's sister... don't ask) run up and grab the Swartz!!! They are working for Pizza the Hutt who wishes to capture them all. Even Imhotep is not above the powers of the Swartz. Emperor Papatine faces off with Yogurt and Yoga.

Bob sneaks into a large cup of instant coffee and hides at the bottom. Kirk and Picard show up and Janeway tries to drink the cup of coffee.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Then the world of bob is turned into a cartoon world and bob sees daria and Jane from the MTV show daria walking down the street talking. he in a hurry runs up to them asking them for help..they stare

[HLGStrider]

Bob suddenly realizes that the strength of Janeway's coffee has eaten away all his clothes. Desperate he jumps into a nearby mail box.

[Elbereth]

Then along hobbles a little old lady, carrying a large bundle of letters.

"Oh dearie me...that was a long walk. Hmmm...now let me see..." *opens the mail slot, but neglects to see Bob inside, his bright eyes peering out of the narrow mail slot.*

"A Christmas card for little Tommy..." *plops the letter inside the slot...hitting Bob squarely on his nose. He stifles a cry* "Another Christmas card for sweet Sue.* *plops the card in the slot and hits Bob once again in the head* "A Christmas letter for dear Mary Lou." *the letter hits Bob once again in the head*

This continues as she goes through her large bundle of Christmas cards, each card hitting him squarely in the face.

[HLGStrider]

Bob's nose was by this time bloody. Then came the last straw.
"And a fruit cake for that relative I really never liked..." the slot opens.
"NO!!! DON'T!!! STOP!!!" Bob shrieks. The lady screams so loud that her teeth fall out.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Stupid boy." and the lady gave him the cake anyway in the face.

[Ecthelion]

Bob fell to the grond and then soon stood up and there was the old lady still putting in Christmas Cards. Then Bob got up behind her and yelled "BOO!" The old lady fell over and fainted then Bob ran up to Daria and Jane and did the same thing and the same thing happened. Then Bob swirled until he was underwater with SpongeBob Squarepants, but he was an evil SpongeBob and started attacking Bob who was running short of air and was naked.

[HLGStrider]

On his trail were Dr. Watson and Holmes. They followed the trail of crushed fruit cake to the seaside and there it ended. Just as they were about to give up, a truckload of Nazi guys drove up accompanied by the entire cast of the Sound of Music.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than kevin and britney began to make out on top of bob

[niteshade]

Woah, Gee. Um HLGStrider, 7doubles and and Tar- you people deffinetly must have been voted most un-sain in highschool or college or where ever you last domacile of learning was, er should have been. Im not saying thats a bad thing im just saying. Woah. That is first class insanity. The rest of us can only stare in wonder. and purplexity. At your achievments. Congradulations?

[Tar-Ancalime]

:D :D :D :D -I just adore back handed compliments!

[HLGStrider]

We homeschoolers don't get much recognition on the crazy field... Sigh... We do our best however.

[HLGStrider]

Back to the story...

Maria and a Nazi come forward and arrest Britney and Kevin then force them to sing "Do re me fa so la ti" several times through.
"Save us, Bob," they plead.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob refuses to help Kevin and britiney,and runs away, and runs into daria and jane, they stare. Than he runs away and runs into the fasion club, he asks for help but sandy gives him an icy glare and he runs away...than bob gets run over

[HLGStrider]

By a deranged double decker bus driver...

[Tar-Ancalime]

and his best guy friend named Jessica.

[HLGStrider]

Bob fell down a man hole and landed ontop of Oscar the Grouch. He then got kicked to Kingdom Come where PFR was having a concert.
He landed atop a speaker and when that powered up he was blasted into Deep Space Nine...
The Borg attacked.
You will be assimulated.
But Seven of Nine said "No! He will not. We will take him to Degoba to see Master Yoda."

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than if things weren't so crazy already Luke skywalker came and put bob in his x-wing class plane to go see Yoda.

[Elbereth]

In Yoda's home planet. Yoda makes Bob stand on his head and gravitate objects. Which excites Bob...because he always did want to become a Jedi Knight.

When he finally learns the force...Bob thanks yoda...and Jet sets to Bermuda for a much needed vacation.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and unlike bob luke does not complete his training, and goes to meet vader where he finds out vader is his daddy.

meanwhile...Bob is surrounded by hot models because he has a real lightsaber in the bahamas

[Elbereth]

With a 'Pina Colada' in one hand and his light saber in the other...he wows the beautiful bikini clad models as he flexes his newly developed muscles.

"Well ladies, how do you like them apples?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than in anger, a reason still unknown, one of the models throws a drink in his face and the other kicks him. They run away with his walet and lightsaber

[HLGStrider]

In come Steve Martin and Bill Murry...
"What the heck is that???" Bill asks.
"I don't know but take my picture with it..."

Bob is soon the biggest photo opportunity on the island.

[Tar-Ancalime]

after 10 million pictures bob goes blind and than gets caught by vader and turned into carbonite to be taken to jabba the hutt by boba fett.

[HLGStrider]

On his way he is captured by a mad art collector who puts him in between "Nude Descending a Stair Case" and the Venus Di Milo. Bpb is admired by art enthusiasists for the next three centuries when a group of preschoolers on a field trip unthaw him... quite accidentally, I assure you.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than He has what is called hibernation sickness and he runs into famous paintings and statuary in the louvre breaking them all. Bob gets arrested and when he explains to them his journey through time space and ect...He is locked up in a straight jacket and sent to a padded room in the gotham city insane assylum (where I'm sure anyone who actively participates in this thread belongs)

[Elbereth]

The doctors then convince Bob, that he did not actually go on those journey's and did not meet any of the people he claimed to meet.

They went on to explain that his dillusions were a result of a rare, yet very extreme case of schizophrenia. And that if he takes a regiment of pills he can be cured in time.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than bob woke up in his own bed,in his own home. "So it was just a dream,"bob said assuirngly. Than he went to his kitchen where he saw the harrison fords, Evie + the cast of the mummy, the cast of sound of music, the cast of daria, evil nazi dudes, emperor palpatine, darth vader, Lando's ghost, and the cast of south park, and all the other stranget things put into this story playing charades

[HLGStrider]

And just when he thought things couldn't get worse someone reversed the poles on his car battery and it exploded.

[Ecthelion]

Then Bob awoke again, and he had woken up from his dream that he woke up in and found his house empty, but his car had indeed blown up. Then he stepped through a black hole and fell down, down, down. When he reached the bottom he said "I need to find some breakfeast."

OOC: If you don't get it read the first post

[Elbereth]

Taking a seat at his breakfast table, Bob pours himself a bowl of cheerios. He is happily eating, until he hears a tiny voice below him.

He looks down at his cereal bowl to find a tiny man swimming about, gripping onto a cheerio as if it were a lifesaver.

[HLGStrider]

"This is not my day," Bob sighs as he swallows the little man and several of his minture compatriots. However, this was a really bad idea, because someone enlarged them a few minutes later.... Bob swelled like the good year blimb.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than bob was attacked by invisible leprechauns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HLGStrider]

Who took his drivers license and went to New York.

[Elbereth]

So Bob followed the invisible leprachauns to New York. Searching every single Irish pub in the city...he soon gets word that a band of invisible leprachauns were causing a riot at the Copa Cabanna on 42nd Street. He goes to the Copa to investigate.

"Huh...that's weird." Bob says to himself.

At the Copa he finds the leprachauns salsa dancing with unexpecting guests...However, Bob is forced to wait at the door...because he does not have proper identification to get in.

[HLGStrider]

The Leperacuans, being invisible, turn on a CD player and sneak out the back door without anyone knowing the difference.

Bob follows, using his specially set phaser to unmask them. They are the same Lepercauns that Seven of Nine unmasked preforming medical studies on the Voyager crew.

They lead him to the dock where he is shanghaied and forced onto a trawler bound for Catmandoo.

[Tar-Ancalime]

for some reason the leprechauns are on board with bob....Than the Leprechauns came out of their disgise....and in reality they were...Valley girls...bob shrieked in horor as they took out thier make up kits and tied him up and....began to put makeup on him

[Elbereth]

When they are finished giving Bob a makeover, they show him the mirror...and lo' and behold...he looked just like a leprachaun!!

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Bob in fear.

[HLGStrider]

He then struggles wildly, breaking one of their nails. They all start screaming. Bob jumps over board, swiftly sinking under the cold dark waves.

The Valley Girls get used to their loss and go to see an N'sync concert.

Bob lands on the bottom in a secret air pocket where he can breathe with ease. Around him the electric eels form into neon signs, advertising the nearest pub. Taking his bubble along, Bob goes to this watering hole.

[Samwise_hero]

At the pub Bob meets a wise old eel, called francis. They started talking about old legends of the sea and how the wise old eel used to electricute them when they fell overboard in pirate attacks.
(Sorry if it's crappy, i'm new at this)

[HLGStrider]

The wise old eel than exhibited his powers to Bob who stumbled ashore and got a job testing lightbulbs.

This is where he met Zelda... the girl who's life he lit up...

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob....dies

[HLGStrider]

The funereal was well attended. There was a group of leperacuans, lots of rabbits, a fox, a bunch of moles, a Druish Princess, all the Harrison Fords, and two Valley Girls... along with assorted others.

[Elbereth]

Then suddenly Bob pops up from his casket. Everyone screams in shock and fright.

"I'm not really dead. Honest!"

[Aslan]

So they kill him again, just to make sure he's dead.

[HLGStrider]

OOC: Cool name, Aslan...

IC: Well, Bob is catapulted into the after life where he finds himself swimming in a bowl of fruitloups with a toucan named Joe. Joe gives Bob a dirty look and tried to drowned him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob died again but he took a hindu turn and became reincarnated however he had bad kharma and was riencarnated into a worm

[HLGStrider]

Fortunately he was a Glow Worm and he got a steady job in California.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and as a glow worm some california punk ate him for a dare...than he was reincarneted and still was bad and became a paramecium

[indexerkevin]

OC: catch the amazing LOTR reference


IC:

Then one day Bob is crawling along the ground and he sees a foot about to crush him. Could it be Zelda?, whose light he once lit up. He screams to her in wormish and she looks down at him. She says, surprised she knows any of the worm-tongue, "Bob? Is that you?......."

[indexerkevin]

OC

oops the story passed me by while I was writing my post! We need a story-rescue!

[Tar-Ancalime]

than the daftness of our last poster whose insanity must be not as bad as elgee's and mine is suddenly erased by an evil sith lord who was once a cool jedi

[HLGStrider]

Bob becomes a mix between a Paramecium and a Worm and Zelda takes him home in a petri dish. Unfortunately also in the Petri dish is Bob's rival for Zelda's affections who suffered a strangely similar fate, having died and been reincarnated as a mix between a mayfly and a single celled creature. The duke it out...

[Tar-Ancalime]

cameras surround the place...it's like fight night in vegas....and the lights go out because of a pinch lit off by one of oceans 11's men and then...(yes thier is more)...the petri dish gets knocked over...and they get stuck to the bottom of brad pitts shoe as they begin to leave vegas...(why do I want to be bob,to be stuck to brad pits shoe):o

[indexerkevin]

Then someone asked Brad if he has a light. Being a gentleman, he takes out a wooden match and starts to light it on his show. "What's this, he cries!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

than bob crawls up brads leg...(o la la...I really want to be bob)

[Samwise_hero]

As Bob craws up brad's leg he cries out 'It's like a forest in here'. As he becomes enveloped in Brad's overgrown leg hairs.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than brad notices in itch on his leg and starts hitting bob until bob dies as a paremecium reached Nirvana cause he was a good boy

[HLGStrider]

In Nirvana he meets a former scorpian named Icabod who had had similar problems. They get to know each other and become fast friends. Then one day Icabod climbed into the Dali Lama's sleeping bag and gets himself into big trouble.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but bob comes and rescures him, than they go on a night of drinking and passion in Nirvana.

[HLGStrider]

It was the best of times... it was the worst of times...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob begins to narrate to Ichobad. When Bob is on page 100 of "A tale of two cities" in his narration Ichobad is now sleeping his drool falling to the floor

[HLGStrider]

A police man enters and arrests Bob for the murder of the still very alive Icabod. Icabod is the primary witness. Of course they all are dead...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob seriously questions the police intelligence level and finds out thier in leage with attn. Gen. John ashcroft!! Than Ichobad wakes up and tries to convince the police that he is alive but since everyone in Nirvana is dead anyway how can Bob be charged with murder?Wow as an active participant...this is illogical...insane

[HLGStrider]

Bob is dragged off when Janet Reno comes in and wants to have a duel with Ashcroft. Then the Nazis all force their way into Nirvana and kidnap both Bob, Ichabod, and Reno... There goes her campaign...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than the Harrison fords come to save Bob, Reno, ichobad and kill all the nazis

[HLGStrider]

Bob is offered a movie contract. He travels to Hollywood where he meets Richard Dryfus and a few more Harrison Fords. They all get together and go out to Chucky Cheeses where they are all attacked by a giant rat. Bob hides under a layer of plastic balls in that toy thing with all the balls.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than as bob watches the rats tear appart the harrison fords. The rat is nearing to attacking harrison ford as han solo ewoks begin to throw rocks at the rat and kills the rat.

[HLGStrider]

Bob captures an Imperial Chicken Walker...accidentally shoots Leia...

[Tar-Ancalime]

And han solo begans to beat up bob for shooting leia and luke joins in on the brawl too. So poor bob is in the middle of this fight, and gets hung upsidown from a tree after surrendering.

[HLGStrider]

"This isn't what I expected in Nirvana," Bob moans. "Take me back to Kansas..." Bob lands in Kansas with a Tornado approaching.

[Samwise_hero]

Bob cries out in panic 'Toto I Think We're In Kansas Again'!
As the Tornado swiftly approaches ripping trees and telegraph poles out of the ground.:)

[HLGStrider]

Zelda the Zebra from Zambia gallops up and rescues Bob. She then takes him to a church and insists on marrying him. Bob starts giving some lame excuses.

[Aslan]

So Zelda the Zebra from Zambia cries out"Oh, you're so frustrating! Fine! I'll just go marry Trigger, instead. He runs faster than you, anyway!" Zelda runs off in a fury. Bob just stares in unbelief.

[HLGStrider]

It turns out that this was a Hindu church and the monks come out and beat Bob up for wearing his shoes inside. Bob limps out and pays a street Vender for a slightly used Cobra... He thought he was getting a sports car, but this Cobra had fangs. Bob ran for his life before buying a slightly used snake charmer. He then got himself a job on TV and made lots of money... Little did he know that Zelda was watching and plotting revenge.

She'd hired all the Harrison Fords and a Bruce Willis or two just for the heck of it. They were going to turn the Cobra, named Corvetta, against Bob and have him be bitten in the middle of a show... disgrace and death all in one painful nip.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Bob was shocked...and then when things began to look bad...they got worse....now the nazi's, the cast from sound of music, the knights who say ni, the cast from The mummy serries, the ewoks, Emperor palpatine, the cast from space balls turn against bob...all at the request of Zelda...

[HLGStrider]

Just when things couldn't get blacker he got a letter from the IRS...

and the lights went off.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but bob found the letter from the Irs informed bob he overpayed and he got 10,000,000 in the mail!

[HLGStrider]

Bob jumped up and down for joy and knocked a spot light down on top of his producer. Bob decided it would be a good time to quit. He retired at St Kitts...

That's when the evil Banana Lord, importer of Albanian Bananas and Balkan Beer, took over, enslaving Bob and confiscating his refund check.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than when all seemed lost bob ran into a witch,"I know you are in pain, I can help your pain buy giving you shape shifting powers." she said to bob. He looked at her and laughed! "Fine I won't help you!" the witch said and stommped off.

[Aslan]

Unfortunately for Bob, as the witch Stomped off, she cast a spell and turned him into a Harrison Ford. As Bob looked into a mirror, he screamed in utter despair. "Not Harrison Ford!" he cried. Little did he know that Janet Reno had seen all that had transpired.

[HLGStrider]

Janet Reno had him hauled down to the county jail on unspecified charges. There he was tortured with those pens with the feathers on the ends.

[Tar-Ancalime]

But the Bob (out of curiosity is it young harrison ford or k-19 harrison ford) who was turned into harrison ford ran away and began to hang out with the other Harrison fords....and He grew to like them until a foul word was said,"Yeah, I can't stand that bob fellow, he always seems to survive!" Han Solo said. "Your right about that one. He just wont' die...Like me." Indiana jones said. "Yes, he's stubborn too...it's like he has to finish that mission." K-19 ford said. Bob was angry and walked off...

[HLGStrider]

He tried to hang out with the Bruce Willis's but they were all getting hair transplants, so he left.

He then tried to join a Susan Surrandon group, but they quickly caught on that he was not one of them.

Finally he went down by the river to cry.

A mermaid popped up and handed him a magic frog.

[Samwise_hero]

The Mermaid said to him, if you kiss this frog it will turn you back into Bob. If you let it go you will get 3 wishes but you can not wish to be turned back into Bob........
(But he could wish for a million more wishes......)

[Tar-Ancalime]

He looked at the frog ,"Well If i turn back into bob people will try to kill me. So I'll set you free froggy!" and Bob who looks like harrison ford sets the frog free.

[7doubles]

he then wishes he didn't, instantly the frog reapears

[Tar-Ancalime]

with his second wish he wishes for 10,000,000 however he did not specify so he got 10,000,000 straws.

[HLGStrider]

Now he did the obvious things with those straws and built himself a house, saving that one last wish for emergencies... Then the big bad wolf..

[Tar-Ancalime]

knocked on the door and said,"do you by chance have any brown sugar?" however bob thought it was a trick and killed the big bad wolf without a cauldraon

[HLGStrider]

He made him into a coat and went down town. Someone through a bucket of paint over him and he got hauled off by the fish and game people. There he was put on trial by a junto of Salmon... all salmon of the salmon federation were represented... chinook, steelhead, etc.

They weighed him on the scales of justice...

oooh... that's bad... wince.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Luckily bob had not eaten his lunch and he was not that heavy.So Bob was proven innocent and went shopping with the four leading salmon and the judge

[Samwise_hero]

While Bob was shopping he found some sparkly red shoes....

[Tar-Ancalime]

but he did not have the money to buy them...

[HLGStrider]

However, the judge Chinook liked him and bought him a mink coat... Bob ran for it.

[Samwise_hero]

Bob was overtrown by the generosity of the judge, so he ran up to him and gave him a big bear hug. Judge Chinook was taken by surprise and stumbled backwards into a Darell Lea (chocolate) shop. And was met there by the chocolate easter bunny who was in town bright and early for next easter.

[HLGStrider]

He put Bob in a basket and carted him away... down the bunny trail.

[Tar-Ancalime]

where he was left in an easter basket at orlando blooms house. When orlando bloom came out he was dressed like Legolas in his old custome

[HLGStrider]

Orlando placed the basket on his computer desk... and Bob was zapped into the frightening world of theTolkienforum.com. Once there he was accosted by the Gollumites who were all dressed in character. Then a moderator accused him of spamming and he had to defend himself in front of the Moderating Council of Death. Then Elgee swept in and started a stupid thread about movies and it distracted them all so much that they left Bob to wander aimlessly through the writers guild.

[Tar-Ancalime]

to where he met up with tar who put him in a basket and then carried the basket with her when she went to her palace in rhun. thier he saw the magnificent building...geometerically perfect and fell in love with one of TAr's winged handmaidens, stephanie

[HLGStrider]

He stares wide eyed at her... She then flies away. He attempts to fly after her, out the window, and ends up at the foot of the palace in Rhun... There were now three or four geometric palaces... or maybe Bob was having a concussion... I don't know which.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than bob finds himself lying down in a comfy bed, Stephanie has taken care of him this whole time. She kisses bob on the forehead

[HLGStrider]

Bob melts into a puddle on the floor...

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Stephanie looks in horror as martha the easterling cleaning lady mops of Bob and wrings him out in the sea of rhun

[HLGStrider]

Bob floated around as an oily substance on the surface of Rhun for a little while before Gollum scraped him up and used him to shampoo what little hair he had left... Bob went around stuck to Gollum's scalp for a century or two.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than one day bob came off gollums head and went into a stream straight into mordor where he met dengen in deep thought over battle plans for the current war

[Elbereth]

Then possessed by the spirit of the Valar, Bob grabs Dengen's battle plans and throws them into the pits of Orodruin where it burned to ash even before it even hit the pool lava below.

Bob then clicks his heels three times muttering...

"There's no place like home...
There's no place like home...
there's no place like home..."

And in a swirling whirlwind...Bob returns to Kansas and is lying in his safe warm bed.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than dengen makes new battle plans *that was mean Elbe!*. Alas bob was taken in a tornado Oz

[Elbereth]

The tornado then carried Bob away to the Emerald City, where Bob met the Horse of a Different Color...who told him to follow the yellow brick road to Munchkin Land.

So Bob set out to Munchkin land with a cat named Jinkie following close behind him.

OCC: Lighten up Tar! It was a silly plot twist for this silly story. Don't take things so darn seriously. :rolleyes:

[Tar-Ancalime]

*only joking elbe* (to self are valar type people always this gullable)


And Jinkie attacked bob and sent him to the witch of west's lair

[Elbereth]

Upon arriving at the witch of the west lair...Bob discovers that the lair is not actually a lair anymore but a psychadelic love shack.

Apparently the witch's cronies decided to remodel the joint after the very sudden and unexpected melting of the Wicked Witch of the West. As Bob enters the love shack he is hit by a cloud of pink smoke which he inhales with a choke. He then looks back at Jinkie the cat...but Jinkie is no longer behind him. Instead there is a Giant Catapillar behind him smoking a large water pipe. the Catapillar winks at Bob and then chuckles to himself before he takes a long puff on his pipe.

Bob gives the catapillar a strange droopy look and then rubs his smoke filled eyes.

[Tar-Ancalime]

after bob rubbed his eyes he was zapped out of the computer and saw orlando bloom as legolas peforming sillmarillion: The musical

[HLGStrider]

"NO NO ANYTHING BUT THIS!!!" Bob begs as Illuvatar sings ME into existance... Legolas turns and looks at Bob then calls the police. The caterpillar crawlsoutof thecomputer and takes Bob to the Local Taco Bell.

[Samwise_hero]

Meanwhile the police turn up at Orlando Bloom's house and arest him for stealing the Legolas costume from PJ.
"I just wanted to be him!" He cries as the police throw him into the car and speed off.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than PJ comes and rescues orlando bloom from prison only Orlando bloom must give up his legolas costume. Therefore he does. Meanwhile at taco bell bob is captured by Billy Boyd (pip) and the guy who plays merry.

[HLGStrider]

A big, fat guy... actually Jabba the Hutt in disguise... rolls out of the back room of Taco Bell and starts a fight with Pippen. Sean Austin comes to the rescue.

[Samwise_hero]

Sean jabs Jabba The Hutt in the stomach with the tip of a sword and Jabba The Hutt explodes and splatters Taco Bell with intrails......."ewwww" everyone cries!:p

[Tar-Ancalime]

So Merry, Pip, and samwise sue taco bell and make millions. They leave bob in the middle of an LA freeway

[HLGStrider]

Wearing a full length ball room dress....
"Now this is wrong," thinks Bob... Two guys ask him out, but he runs for it and hides under the serf below the Golden Gate in San Fransisco. Someone mistakes him for a terrorist, attempting to blow up the bridge using a whoopie cusion, and he is arrested.

[Tar-Ancalime]

So he demands with local authorities! and hires jesse jackson and cartman as his lawyers

[HLGStrider]

Bill O'Rielly has Bob on his show, but after that Bob finds he is being stalked by Alan Colmes...

[Tar-Ancalime]

so he joins forces with DR. evil and falls madly in love with mini-me

[Samwise_hero]

But mini-me rejects bob and he is heart broken. Then all of a sudden the most beautiful girl in the world (don't know who) walks in and asks bob to go to.......

[Tar-Ancalime]

and take her back to paris where she lives and "escort her for security reasons";) . The girl is a gorgeous parisian girl...all but 17. She is named Genieve. Bob is blown away by her lucious brown hair and dazzling green eyes.

[HLGStrider]

As Bob is leaving on her private jet Goldfinger attacks... his pistol shot causes the plane to go down on a tropical island inhabited by Smurfs. Bob and the model take refuge in the planes shatter fuslage.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Together they create a dear girl named sophia.

[HLGStrider]

but all three of them are quickly attacked by Godzilla and Mothma, who decided to get together.

[Samwise_hero]

And out of love Bob saves his two girls and in the mean time gets riped to shreads and eaten. Ouch that's gotta hurt. But then he comes back as Sean Bean's twin.

[HLGStrider]

He attempts to find the super model and dear girl by putting out several personal adds... This attracts a large fly-woman named Bertha, Mothma's second cousin.

[Tar-Ancalime]

and bob is about killed until 35,000,000 hobbits come and hit the fly lady cousinof mothman with stones.

[HLGStrider]

They were the wild inhabitants of a small portion of Montana known as The Place You've Never Been Before. They took Bob there and promptly changed the name to The Place Bob Is. They were highly accomadating folk.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than they invited bob to a surprise hobbit strip party

[HLGStrider]

The very thought gives Bob a headache and he is rushed to a nearby hospital. The Hobbits decide he isn't worth their time and continue on without him.

Bob wakes up and orders a pizza.

[Samwise_hero]

And who delivers the pizza? None other than Dougie!!!!
Bob starts scoffing down the pizza because he hasn't eaten for ages. Next the Nazgul come in and stand at the end of his bed with swords in hand................... ( i think Bob's in trouble)

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Bob uses his pizza for a shield...the wraith stabs it and their is now such a thing as pizzawraiths!:eek: :eek: :eek: ! Than the others who folowed dougie came in...Lord Voldermort and none other than Harry Potter!

[HLGStrider]

When all seemed lost there was a bang and Miracle Max appeared and ordered a BLT. He then turned on them to ask what the problem was. The pizza wraiths were confronted by the MacDonald Wraiths who asked if he wanted fries with that. Then came... ANCHOVIES!!!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than bob was turned into a bunny rabbit!

[HLGStrider]

He immediately ate all the anchovies and gained about ten pounds. The pizza and macdonald wraiths were also consumed... By the time he ended his binge he was a two hundred pound bunny rabbit. The others fled in terror.

[Tar-Ancalime]

alas one thing stood between the bunny and absolute power! A q-tip!

[HLGStrider]

He grabbed a toothpick to combat this evil force, but no. It was not to be. He was knocked down by the Q-tip and tied up with dental floss. They then covered him in toothpaste and brought out the electric tooth brush. He begged for mercy...

[Tar-Ancalime]

but q-tip slit bob's throat anyway

[HLGStrider]

Fortunately for Bob a few friendly bandaids were passing, and they did his neck back up. The poor, defeated bunny thought it was best to flee for his life. He hid behind a blender in the kitchen and retired to the country to grow carrots. He started a smooth business. His carrot cake smoothy was very popular.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but when things seemed to be going smoothley his place was vandilized by the HARRISON FORDS

[HLGStrider]

Deciding that desperate times called for desperate measures he took out a yard stick and desperately measured the damage.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than the harrison fords came back and kidnapped Bob and turned him through vodoo into a human again but he was only an inch tall. Bob was being held hostage.

[HLGStrider]

In return for the return of Bob they wanted the holy grail and arc of the covenant. Steven Speilburg was reluctant to surrender.

[Tar-Ancalime]

But they used the ultimate tortcher on poor, defensless speilberg the end of contract threat! and Speilberg gave up and put bob in a fish aquariam without any water and gave him a barbie doll who looked amazingly like Zelda as a companion...there bob lived..would he ever escape from the empty fish tank???

[HLGStrider]

Just when things couldn't get worse, the sadistic Speilburg left the TV on in front of Bob's prison with Spounge Bob on... turned up loud. He then superglued Bob's eyes to the set....

WILL THIS TORTURE NEVER END???

OH THE HUMANITY!!!

[Tar-Ancalime]

then a nuclear bomb hit because George W. bush accidently was playing with the buttons in the pentagon and killed everyone in LA but bob and the Harrison Fords

[HLGStrider]

Thankfully this included spongue Bob. Most people were glad to see L.A. and Hollywood (Which was part of the colllateral damage) gone.

Bush got a Nobel Peace Prize.

[Tar-Ancalime]

but he was still no closer to catching Usama bin laden:( , but bob who in the blast found himself sitting next to UBL...

[HLGStrider]

unwittingly found him a job at a 7-11. Usama was a Beetles fan and kept on playing the Yellow Submarine song. This, of course, keyed the CIA into his location, but they couldn't take him because of the Gwacamoli act of 82. They hired a private contractor who gave UBL a ticket to Paris.

[Tar-Ancalime]

IN which UBL and bob spent a thriling night playing with the woman of the night in paris

[HLGStrider]

Then Bob lost his 7-11 in a poker contest and had to go live with the swine...

"I wonder if my father will take me back," he thought.

goodie... Biblical references...

[Tar-Ancalime]

so he went home and his father kicked him alot and called him wormtounge

[HLGStrider]

Bob called his dad "Lathspell" then turned to run. He ran smack into a tall guy with a reforged sword and a big additude. The tall guy kicked him into the Brandywine river and Bob had to run from this female elf in a bad mood swing...
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" his dad yelled after him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than the female elf tied up bob and put him in a sack.... and held him hostage but promise to be let go after he heard her break up saga. "I loved him, and all he wanted to do was follow his wizard friend and become a pervy hobbit fancier. My dad was even willing to let me follow him...and he just wanted to see past frodo's mirthril coat and breeches unto the parts that only women should see...." and so on and so forth

[HLGStrider]

"okay..." Bob is thinking. "Get me out of here..."

Bob is held hostage for a while...

[Tar-Ancalime]

So after three tortureous weeks of captivity he is set free and thanked for listening to the elf-girls problem. Than he walks into Rivendell...

[Aslan]

which is now being occupied by 6,172 Harrison Fords. "OK. This is weirding me out!" screams Bob. He flees Rivendale as quickly as he can and finds himself lost. As he he walks along a river bank, he hears strange footsteps coming from behind him...

[Tar-Ancalime]

than the Elf-girl found him again and said,"Hey since you were "willing" to listen to me, would you take me to Lothlorien???See he's supposed to be there and I need someone who knows my story to go with you." Bob looked at her and said,"Sure, I've always wanted to see those golden trees anyway!" So the Elf-girl named Arwen and Bob go to Lothlorien together but saddly the pass of Isengard is not open to them any more so they go into moria, and they find the fellowship of the ring. And Arwen sees her boyfriend, but he seems preeocupied with healing frodo and a hobbit says,"Who are you? You must be that pervy hobbit fanciers girlfriend! You better tell him to stop, sam will kill him if he tries anything." So....

[Nenya Evenstar]

Arwen rolls her eyes and says, "See if I care! He is nothing but a pervy hobbit fancier!" Aragorn looks like he is caught between a bush and a house and immediately begins blaming Bob for his own inconvenience. Arwen decides to get revenge on Aragorn and goes and tells the orcs that there are intruders in their mines. She then runs over to Bob and rescues him from the clutches of Merry, who is trying to get him to glue his carrot. Bob and Arwen are given a free pass out of the mines of Moria as well as a $100 gift certificate to the Gap of Rohan.

[HLGStrider]

Bob goes on a shopping spree and buys himself some Space Boots. Unfortunately Tar catches him.
"ONLY DARK QUEEN'S CAN HAVE LITTLE SPACE BOOKS!!!" she screams. She then takes them and shakes her little space boots.
Bob is now lost in between woman's lingere and mens clothing. He runs into Arwen who is buying herself a silky nighty.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than Bob runs into elgee who is running around like madwoman and peeing on trees.

[HLGStrider]

Elgee had been at her own Singles bar and couldn't keep up with the posts... this is mentally scarring...
She attacked Bob and placed him in her bar where she put him in between YayGollum and some girl who wanted to dance with him.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than Arwen claims Bob back, but in the gap of rohan they see Eowyn and than Arwen tells eowyn that Aragorn is a pervy hobbit fancier and says go for that faramir guy

[HLGStrider]

"YOU RUIN ALL MY CHANCES!!!" Aragorn weeps. "I can't marryyou and I can't have anyone else... wha............."

Aragorn breaks down in tears.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Than saruman says to ARagorn. "I'll marry you"

[HLGStrider]

"I could never be with anyone with more facial hair than me..." states a very nervous Aragorn.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Drat, well try that Frodo guy, he's kinda cute.wait sam'll kill you...um try Legolas."

[HLGStrider]

Aragorn runs and hides in Fangorn and marries the last of the Entwives.

[Tar-Ancalime]

than arwen tells his wife he's a pervy hobbit fancier

[HLGStrider]

and she not so hastily leaves him... then ELGEE enters the scene yelling "I don't care!!! He's mine!!!" Aragorn is carted away and never heard from again.

[Tar-Ancalime]

*catches breath from laughing so hard*

Elgee puts aragorn on a leash and pets him. Meanwhile bob is helping arwen pick out the perfect nightie

[HLGStrider]

Elgee let's Aragorn lie down on a pile of Oriental rugs and feeds him grapes by hand... she then offers him a massage...

Bob picks out a green silk nighty which will look so good with Arwen's eyes... She then goes punk on him, dies her hair pink, and pierces her nose. Bob faints.

[Tar-Ancalime]

But bob found out it was all an illusion...suddenly found arwen calling him a sweetie and bob began to feel like he was replacing the lost link that zelda took out in his life. Arwen was replacing it.

[HLGStrider]

Unfortunately Zelda had heard about this Elf babe messing with her man. She showed up in army fatigues with a Bazooka and grednade launcher and blew up Arwen's standard she was making for Bob to take to Gondor...

Just when Zelda and Arwen were about to face off Elgee showed up with a pair of half Numenorean Twins....
"What?" Elgee swallows.

[Tar-Ancalime]

they ignore stupid Elgee who refuses to eat omlets with cheese. and fight over bob...Arwen kills Zelda

[HLGStrider]

"Gosh," thinks Elgee. "She remembers the omeletes... I just wanted to give the ham to my cats... Well, come along boys. Daddy is going to take you for a tour of his castle today..."

Eowyn shows up and views the carnage.

"Really, Faramir, darling, I am glad we distanced ourselves from these people..." she says in a snooty English accent.