View Full Version : The Burning Chicken Inn
Thx.
Man this is slow service. (My cappacinos)
Khamul
07-20-2002, 04:12 AM
*Drygo serves Azog some cow dung with cream on top.*
Ecthelion
07-20-2002, 05:34 AM
"That looks um...great Azog. Hey orc-child get me a hurricane!" The orc-child runs of to get Nain's drink.
Snaga
07-20-2002, 12:27 PM
Snaga comes and sits next to Azog. 'It is good to see a fellow orc around here, my friend. Had any good looting recently? Or have you been serving in an army?'
He looks into space wistfully.... 'Ah the carefree life of a bandit! Sometimes I long for it again...'
Yep too bad elf hunting season is almost over
Snaga
07-20-2002, 08:08 PM
'Hey, what are you talking about? Elf-hunting is NEVER over!'
*slams head on table*
"You're right. That was stupid of me."
He prepares to impale himself with his sword, but stops himself before he does.
What do you think about starting an elf-hunting league? We'll have set "packs" that have to kill a quota of elves per month in a set RPG. Noone would know about this in the RPG, but the DL members in it. It would also be a closed RP.
chrysophalax
07-23-2002, 05:46 PM
With a rush of wings, the great silver Dragon landed outside the Burning Chicken..."Fellow members of the Dark Legion...the RPG Redemption, stands in desperate need of people to populate an Inn in Bree called appropriately enough...the Silver Dragon! I am willing to part with a chaest of gold apiece for all who participate! We need people over there now!! I will keep a running talley, my thanks!" And with that...he was gone...
Snaga
08-01-2002, 12:38 AM
Snaga calls to Azog: 'War's here! If you got any guts for a fight you best get to yer legion if you got one, or come with me!'
He turns to Calpurnia and gives her a lecherous kiss and a wink. 'Its off to battle for me, sugar-wings! This place might be a bit quiet. Drygo can't stay here... he's going to war too. Look after yourself!' Then for a moment he turned to go. Then turning back again he put a hand on her stomach for a moment, and shook his head.
'Good bye!'
Balrog Bob
08-02-2002, 05:59 AM
*As Snaga rushes off, a fierce hotflash rises among the Burning Chicken Inn. The ground begins to tremor when through the doors emerges a massive mound of ash and fire.*
[In scottish accent]: AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIYYYYYY!!!!! I'm baaaaaaccccckk and I'm deeeaaadd seeeexxxyyy Heh heh!!!! :D Well, it's greit to be back in this fine establishment.
*Balrog Bob begins strutting to the bar, creating thunderous tremors as he steps. At the bar counter he pulls himself a seat and proceeds to sit. However, not before squeaking off a bit of natural gases (if you know what I mean).* [In suprised and ashamed tone]: I'm sorray. I farted. . . I know. I can't help it, though. I'M LACTOSE-INTOLERANT!!!! :o
*He looks about for any sympathetic patrons. Unfortunately, none are sympathetic.*
Well, smack a balrog in the "mommy/daddy button", why don't yeh! I said I was sorray. Listen, I can't help it. Sure I eat a baby once in a while and. . . [pause]: That's right, I've eaten a baby! Hear me out. I eat because I'm. . . well, hungray. Surely enough those babies are loaded with mammy's milk and after having a wee helping of the little things; I get all gassy.
Well, with that said. . . *smacks lips a few times* Where's the food, eh?
Tar-Ancalime
08-02-2002, 06:50 AM
ooc:Someone recently seen Austin Powers:rolleyes:
Azog leaves with Snaga and silently leaves the Inn. He calls to the Innkeeper, "Save me a room for when I get back, or I'll skin ya."
Ecthelion
08-03-2002, 01:33 AM
Most people coming in or going out see Nain sitting at a table alone staring at the ceiling.
Tar-Ancalime
08-03-2002, 05:02 AM
and nain gets kicked by calpurnia before she leaves the vicinity of the inn
Dwarf Lord
08-18-2002, 10:43 PM
A Short fat dwarf enters through the door, and with a grunt pulls his pants up. " Hows a dwarf to get something to drink around here?" He say sending spittle eerywhere.
Lord Smaug
09-05-2002, 03:55 AM
A tall man enters almost unnoticed and takes a place in a corner next to a window. He takes out a pipe and starts looking in his pockets for a small leather bag. He notices that it is empty and very quietly motions to a small orc-child and says, "Bring me the best weed of the house and see what you can do to get me a decent room, child." With this he hands him 5 pieces of silver and gets back to his seat, checking the other costumers.
malazac
09-07-2002, 05:21 PM
a dragon walks in takes a seat at the large table at the front and asks for a fried lamb malazac then says whos here
Éomond
09-21-2002, 01:20 AM
Isildur stops his riding Chicken and stares at the sign of the Burning Chicken Inn.
"Shadowdax!!! Don't look! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
With that, Isildur and Shadowdax sped off.
Balrog Bob
09-23-2002, 08:33 AM
*gives the bartender a deathly stare*
"I don't take kindly to being ignored!" *bangs on counter with his fists* "Where's the food!! I need some food in my belly or there will be some heads rolling!!!"
*fire shoots out from his nostrils and a loud, earth trembling, growling sound is heard from within his enormous girth*
Nenya Evenstar
10-16-2002, 09:35 PM
Into the Inn walk Nenya and Pontucer. They stand in the darkened corners by the door and survey the room with eyes of experience. This was the evilest place they had ever been to yet! They are ready for whatsoever should happen, and hold their staves in tight hands. Walking up to the counter, they sit still and look around them. Evil permeates throughout the air and they can feel it, for they are the wizards of the order Heren Istarion and extremely powerful. :D:p
An unseen presence sweeps them out of the building, and they find themselves back in their tower, reading books and practicing their craft on the fowl of the air and the beasts of the field. Their memory is lost, because of the great sweeping force of none other than the dark lord, or one of his powerful minions.
"Nice security system, huh.":D
Anamatar IV
10-18-2002, 01:10 AM
ingolemo looked up from his newpaper. His wizards had just been swept away. Ingolemo pointed his staff at the security system control center and sent a blast of lightning into it. Anamatar then dissolved and reappeared in the Heren Istarion tower. "Now thats some magic ;) "
Snaga
10-18-2002, 02:23 AM
Snaga picks up the newspaper that Ingolemo left lying around. Tut-tutting about the littering habits of wizards, he is about to throw the newspaper away when a story catches his eye: 'Giant capacitor to harness Heren Istarion lightning bolt to boost Dark Legion security.'
Snaga walks off, pondering the time-paradox in that one.
Anamatar IV
10-18-2002, 02:52 AM
Ingolemos face reappeared in the article snaga was reading. Ingolemo stuck out his tongue and disappeared. He reappeared back in his seat next to the burning chicken that was providing heat for the room. "TOO MANY ORCS IN HERE!!!!"
Tar-Ancalime
10-18-2002, 03:20 AM
A prostitute goes up to the man in the chair,"Hey you, we don't get many nice looking customers? You lonely?" she says seductively
Anamatar IV
10-18-2002, 11:08 PM
Ingolemo pointed his staff at the approacher and added a few more layers or clothes. "Im sorry but I am soon to be spoken for!" Ingolemo then picked up his staff and walked out of the bar. But before he left he spoiled all the beer.
Tar-Ancalime
10-19-2002, 12:30 AM
The prostitute takes off the layers and rolls her eyes, than goes searching for more customrers
Snaga
10-19-2002, 12:34 AM
'Hey Azog!' shouts Snaga. 'This beer is disgusting. Bring me some more. This is just how I like it!'
Khamul
10-19-2002, 11:46 PM
Drygo promptly kicks the slut out of the bar, asking her to go find her business elsewhere.
Hey Snaga, I am not a waiter. Call the other guy.
BTW, Is Depths of Despair dead?
Tar-Ancalime
10-20-2002, 06:30 AM
The slut (who btw her name is Veronica) gives him a cold stare and yells "This is a house of Ill repute and evil, and sluts arent allowed, fine owner you are."
Khamul
10-21-2002, 12:59 AM
Sluts are never of much worth, for they have so many appointments, time is at a minimum, I will allow that!
Who needs a security system when you have sluts. They both make people go away, especially this Veronica. :D
Khamul
10-23-2002, 07:08 PM
Hmm, then why is that young orc who that pesky Dwarf tried to kill following her, eh?
I don't believe that I was referring to orcs when I said people. I don't see you going after her. Humans!!!
Khamul
10-24-2002, 05:16 AM
Are you calling me mentally challenged because I do not care for women used by orcs? Your race does have a habit of never washing themselves in certain areas, and well, I doubt that it is an enjoyable experience, and she would never leave if I followed her.
Orcs, bah. They are dirty. We Uruk-hai clean regularly, and do not mess with women. (ok, occasionally)
Tar-Ancalime
10-24-2002, 11:30 PM
"Are all y'all talkin about me!" Veronica said, winking at sting.
And if we are.... What'll you do about it?
Tar-Ancalime
10-25-2002, 06:02 AM
" Just felt like mentionin' it to ya'!"
Khamul
10-27-2002, 05:28 AM
Sting, eh? Nah, maybe later.
:D:D:D:D
Azog sneers at Veronice. 'Sting, you would want to... ever?'
*pukes*
Khamul
10-30-2002, 05:30 AM
Hah, don't knock it until you have tried it.
Snaga
11-03-2002, 10:02 PM
* Jumps over the bar, and helps himself to a couple of mugs of disgusting beer, since the service is so bad. Gives one to Veronica. *
I don't mind if you stay, but personally I'm waiting for that winged hand-maiden to come back.
Tar-Ancalime
11-04-2002, 02:45 AM
"Finally a customer," veronica says and giggles
Nice to see you finally getting business. :rolleyes: Seems as if it will be picking up pretty soon. Some young orc children are coming in.
Khamul
11-04-2002, 03:23 AM
Suddenly Drygo notched an arrow to his bow, fitting it with ease, malice flowing through his every pore. Loosely he held the bow, tightly drawing the string far back, his fingers let loose, and Veronica dropped to the floor, dead.
"O da**!" exclaimed Azog. "We'll just have to find another slut. Sorry Snaga."
Khamul
11-04-2002, 03:27 AM
"Azog, look what you did! Start the stove, burgers!"
"Yes, my bow jumped into your hand, pulled it back and shot her. I am so sorry to have involved you in this horrendous killing of a slut. Anyhew... I will hook up the sound system.
Tar-Ancalime
11-04-2002, 04:19 AM
and ever since her cruel murder, she haunted the place.
Snaga
11-04-2002, 12:34 PM
Hmm. I see you are all somewhat confused. I said I was waiting for my good friend Calpurnia to come back. But I doubt she will want to come to such a place again. I dont think she liked it. Poor Veronica... that was slightly extreme. You guys are very prejudiced. The girls gotta make a living somehow, although trade seemed pretty slow in here. Ah well, that's not going to worry her any more.
Lets eat!
Tar-Ancalime
11-04-2002, 01:16 PM
"yohooo! Snaga!Where is my Snaga!" a certain sprite said entering the bar.
Snaga
11-04-2002, 06:20 PM
* Finishes a mouthful of raw flesh hurriedly (or horridly??) *
'Calpurnia?? Is that you? I thought the queen had you busy with embroidery or something! Yay!!! Good to see you!'
Tar-Ancalime
11-04-2002, 10:06 PM
"Oh, she doesn't make me do that....I have been promoted for my good service at ther spa! I just had to tell you!"
*Gives snag kiss*
Snaga
11-05-2002, 07:39 PM
* Blushes and grins * Thanks! And congratulations!
Hey Azog... hows that sound system coming?
Tar-Ancalime
11-05-2002, 09:08 PM
"Innkeeper, this is an inn is it not. You should've offered snag and I a room when I first arrived."
Khamul
11-05-2002, 10:03 PM
Don't worry, I will tell the horses not to bother you. Go out back into the stable.
A bright flash lights the room.
"Sorry about that. Black wire goes to the blue wire... not the other black one. Duh! Let me try again."
A heavy bass fills the room, giving it the once happy/evil atmpsphere of long ago.
Tar-Ancalime
11-05-2002, 11:20 PM
" Your telling me, dear innkeeper, you have no rooms."
Khamul
11-05-2002, 11:35 PM
Our rooms are not for intercourse, the stable will be fine.
Tar-Ancalime
11-05-2002, 11:37 PM
some evil establishment you are!
Khamul
11-05-2002, 11:45 PM
Regardless, it is mine. I offer free honeymoon meals...One time special, Veronica was not as tasty as she looked.
Tar-Ancalime
11-05-2002, 11:55 PM
yes, well I, being a fairy of great stature refuse to stay in a stable! Besides, Snaga and I can enjoy ourselves at Rhun, but I would enjoy a drink
Khamul
11-06-2002, 12:29 AM
Well, I own those too, so same rules apply.
Snaga
11-06-2002, 02:09 AM
Who mentioned intercourse? You have a one-track mind, Drygo. Now I want a fried elf-steak and a pint of orc-draught if you can manage it.
Khamul
11-06-2002, 02:16 AM
Err, we are out of elf-steak, Azog got a bit carried away...! How about some Veronica steak?
Tar-Ancalime
11-06-2002, 03:41 AM
Have any normal food?
Khamul
11-06-2002, 04:14 AM
That is normal food in these parts... Maybe for a three times the price, I will let you have one of those nasty artificial lembas...
Suddenly the sound of electric harps pierces the air.
"I am pleased to announce our newest Orc-Metal-Armor band, Elf-lynch."
Harp riffs resound, and a mosh pit forms. Azog runs around, swinging a large staff, and knocking out a few young orcs who think they are cool.
The lead singer of the band steps up the the mic... his song goes like this-
"Ef-desch-na-Ruuuuuuuuuu!!!! I hate elves, and I hate you!!!! Esch-du-Na-Sooooooooo!!!! I am glad that I am friends with Drygo!!!!"
The guitarist jumps out in an attempt to crowd surf. He get hammered by Azog's staff.
Tar-Ancalime
11-06-2002, 01:02 PM
Than nevermind I'll eat later.
I am going to begin a new RP in the DL guild.
It will be for members only and called Azog's Sensational Slaughterhouse (Don't call it by the abbreviation).
The rules are as follows...
1. Never ever.... *words drowned out by the concert*
99. Finally, no cussin'.
I hope you all got that.
It will start when sometone replies to this positively.
Khamul
11-07-2002, 06:26 PM
Place your OOC posts somewhere else!
"Why don't you want some food, girl? It's good for ya, you might shrivel into a bacon slice!"
Tar-Ancalime
11-07-2002, 09:26 PM
"I did just eat before I came here....and you will adress me as Milady."
Khamul
11-07-2002, 10:48 PM
Maybe after you buy some Veronica steaks, but you are in my establishment.
Tar-Ancalime
11-07-2002, 11:01 PM
I don't eat human flesh, thank you very much
The music suddenly quiets and the singer stops screaming. They leave the stage, except for the unconscious guitarist. The stage is packed up with the guitarist in it. The speaker suddenly blares out...
"Sadly, Elf-lynch has a concert elsewhere... they were on pipe-weed when I contacted them."
Boo's and Yeah's resounded, and the speaker interrupted again.
"I am now proud to present the one and only... Drygo's Dancing Ladies, a band started by the one and only... Drygo. Enjoy!"
15 beautiful women walk onto the open floorspace.
Boo's and Yeah's resounded once again.
Tar-Ancalime
11-08-2002, 12:31 AM
"I can see you attract the best of people"
"Yes, and the best of people attract more customers."
Tar-Ancalime
11-08-2002, 03:19 AM
Calpurnia looks at the man who dared to talk to her and said, "indeed"
Khamul
11-08-2002, 04:09 AM
Hah, that man would happen to be an Orc!
"Ehumm... Uruk-hai. Anyways, I am sorry to have offended you by speaking. *mumbles*--> "That was really polite."
Tar-Ancalime
11-12-2002, 01:14 PM
calpurnia just glanced.
Wonko The Sane
11-14-2002, 09:33 PM
*Arianne the White Elf glides in softly, shrouded in a dingy grey cloak, hood completely obscuring her face. She silently takes a seat in the corner, eyeing out the patrons of the inn, her elvish eyes missing nothing*
*her Elvish eyes miss the tall figure standing behind her*
"Howdy, Welcome to Tex... er... the Dark Legion!"
Wonko The Sane
11-15-2002, 11:36 PM
*whirls to face Azog, her violet eyes on fire*
Watch your step, boy.
Nobody sneaks up on me!
*flags down a passing wait-yrch and orders a Bloody Mary, she settles deeper into her corner, sipping on her drink and eyeing the patrons warily*
"What a temper. No wonder she is in the Dark Legion." Azog whispers to Drygo, but Arianne can "hear" him because she reads his post.
Wonko The Sane
11-16-2002, 12:09 AM
*Turns her glare on Azog*
Yes, I have a temper. I don't like to be messed with, I think I've been getting enough of that as it is.
"Poor Arianne," *sarcastically* "She must not have had her coffee this morning... or maybe she had too much... A grim evil has come.
Wonko The Sane
11-16-2002, 12:35 AM
*Sips her Bloody Mary and calls the wait-yrch back to her table* There's not enough vodka in here...take it back and get me a new one.
*She glares at Azog* I will not be manipulated.
Was I trying to manipulate you? Try and answer that one... unless, of course, you are gonna make me look stupid.
Wonko The Sane
11-16-2002, 12:52 AM
*chuckles* Not you Azog, keep your feathers down.
Ecthelion
11-16-2002, 01:46 AM
A scruffy, dark dwarf walks into the bar looking very tired from many journeys. He sits down alone as everyone in the room looks at him like a sideshow freak. "A hurricane please waiter." The waiter brings his drink and the dwarf looks around to see if anyone remebers him.
Wonko The Sane
11-16-2002, 01:48 AM
*raises her eyes at Nain's arrival but stays silently in the corner, observing*
Ecthelion
11-16-2002, 02:14 AM
Nains sips on his drink when a brid lands on the windowsill. The bird chirps a reapeating annoying noise. In a blink Nain whips out and axe and throws it hitting the bird, killing it and stciking it into the wall. Nain walks up and takes back his axe. He throws the bird out the window and sits back down cleaning off his now red axe(oops).:p
Wonko The Sane
11-16-2002, 02:15 AM
*wonders why Nain cleans off his sword after he smote the bird with his axe and goes back to watching and to her Bloody Mary*
[nice to see you edited that]
*Azog turns and watches Nain's axe-cleaning. Stunned to see a dwarf cutting himself on his own axe, Azog falls on the floor, and laughs until he pukes*
Ecthelion
11-16-2002, 09:02 PM
Seeing Azogs vomit Nain vomits make everyone vomit turning the place into a greenish brown color.
Tar-Ancalime
11-17-2002, 02:08 AM
Calpurnia departs,she remembers the last time nain was here...:rolleyes:
Originally posted by Nain Ironfoot
Seeing Azogs vomit Nain vomits make everyone vomit turning the place into a greenish brown color.
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Wonko The Sane
11-18-2002, 07:17 PM
*does not vomit and seriously wonders what would have made her join the Dark Legion if the most fun she would have would be to watch a psycho axe-wielding dwarf vomit all over the place.*
Ecthelion
11-18-2002, 10:55 PM
As Caluprina is leaving Nain whips out his trusty Potatoe shooter and fires one slamming her in the back of the head and out the door. She sticks an angry face back in and sees Nain lookingaround innocenly whistling a tune.;)
Wonko The Sane
11-19-2002, 12:01 AM
That's not nice! I know this is the Dark Legion, but shooting pototoes at people still isn't cool!!!
*wonders the same, especially why Nain would copy him so, and why Nain would have a potatoe shooter*
"Dwarves"
*walks over to Arianne and whispers*
............. (What Nain hears)
Wonko The Sane
11-19-2002, 04:25 AM
Hehe! You're SOOO right!!!! *giggles*
We realyl should do quite a bit of kicking in his direction! *glare out from under her hood*
Snaga
11-19-2002, 01:39 PM
Snaga drains his drink, stands up, and thwacks Nain repeatedly around the head with a bar stool, just for old times sake.
'Its good to see you again, Nain!'
Wonko The Sane
11-19-2002, 06:41 PM
*smirks as the orc beats the dwarf with a bar stool, she settles deeper into her corner, even more obscured by the shadows, she pulls out a quill and parchment and begins to draft a letter*
Goldberry344
11-19-2002, 07:07 PM
*runs into the bar with a pitcher of water* "WHERE IS IT??? where's the chicken??" *looks for the chicken* "theres NOTHING worse than burnt chicken....."
Wonko The Sane
11-19-2002, 07:18 PM
Yay! Goldie's here to be my partner in crime! Come sit with me in the shadows and drink excessively.
Goldberry344
11-19-2002, 09:13 PM
*hides in the corner with her ale* *whispers to wonks* "any yrch to pants?"
Wonko The Sane
11-19-2002, 09:16 PM
*gestures towards Snaga who has now stopped beating Nain and is sitting and drinking at the bar*
Just that one.
Goldberry344
11-20-2002, 12:57 AM
*leans back in her chair and sighs* "we could always resort to pantsing anything that is male.....;) "
Ecthelion
11-20-2002, 01:00 AM
Nain looks up at Snaga from the floor smiling "Ah, it feels good to be back!" Nain dusts himself off and sits back down "You always did give me good brusies for stories Snaga."
Wonko The Sane
11-20-2002, 01:30 AM
*rolls her eyes* Too bad the stories were all so exageratted. Snaga thwacks you with the leg bone of an Elf and you claim you got it battling a Balrog!
*Turning to Goldie, a mischievous glint in her eyes*
Yes...yes we could. And since Tar exited so recently I believe we are the only females...meaning EVERYONE else here is fair game! But we've got to work this plan out! We can't just launch into it! We need tactics!
*procures a fresh parchment from her magic pockets and spreads it out on the table. She also pulls out another quill for Goldie and a pot each of pink and blue ink. She hands Goldie the pink ink.* Now, let's strategize!!
Azog walks away from Arianne, disgusted by thier strategizing. He turns to Drygo and mumbles, "Women.... Can't live with 'em, but you can't live without 'em."
Snaga
11-20-2002, 02:15 PM
I am reliably informed that you can indeed live without them. I may have to try it!
* tightens belt *
I'd just like to let you jeunes femmes know that Azog is more or less yrch too... uruk-hai in fact, but we put up with his genetic problems.
Wonko The Sane
11-20-2002, 07:55 PM
*grins wickedly*
Oh, we're well aware of Azog's "genetic problems", if you could see our list you'd see that he's number two on it! We'll be after you all!
*looks at Snaga's tightened belt*
Obviously you've not met with Goldie's magic gloves. You can tighten your belt all you want, it won't help a bit.
Tar-Ancalime
11-21-2002, 12:06 AM
Calpurnia flew back in in a flutter and said to Wonks and Goldie, "Don't you think I planned to miss all the fun!"
OC- Calpurnia is the chief winged handmaiden, Tar has more honor than to come here, except on offical business.
Goldberry344
11-21-2002, 12:22 AM
*grins wickedly* yes, and the best part is...they're self motivated.
*goldie draws some stick figures and labels them "snaga" "azog" and "nain" in their appropriate spots. she then draws in a table with "Arianne" "Cal" and "goldie" drawn in.*
*whispers*
"great. three women, three men. Wonko, you can borrow my gloves and take on snaga. I'll go for Azog. Cal', you ok with nain?.....hmmm...strategies..."
Tar-Ancalime
11-21-2002, 12:29 AM
Calpurnia says with an evil grin, "With pleasure Goldies."
(Why would you want Nain? He isn't even an yrch.;))
Tar-Ancalime
11-21-2002, 12:31 AM
(It's a grudge, he won't be screaming in pleasure)
(Oh well... I am just kind of an orc. But I have to say I am the most "manly" orc around here.;))
Tar-Ancalime
11-21-2002, 12:35 AM
(or should I say, his pain will be great in latin?)
Goldberry344
11-21-2002, 12:36 AM
"DONT GET DISTRACTED! strategies...."
(whispers to wonks..."some girls...." *giggle*)
Tar-Ancalime
11-21-2002, 12:37 AM
"excuse me. now where were we?" (Giggles, you should PM your plans if they are to be effective)
Goldberry344
11-21-2002, 12:49 AM
*sigh* but that takes so much effort. where is wonks when we are planning a major attack?
Azog whispers to Snaga, "Snaga, Are they going to kill us or something?"
Goldberry344
11-21-2002, 01:12 AM
*giggles and smiles sweetly at Azog* "us? never...."
Tar-Ancalime
11-21-2002, 01:39 AM
"ok, i was just wondering."
"Good... What would you do?"
Azog steps back a few feet.
Wonko The Sane
11-22-2002, 06:49 PM
*Grins wickedly, hiding Goldie's Yrch-Pantsing gloves behind her back*
Now what problem could three, innocent, gorgeous, women probably be for strong Yrch like you?
*giggles and goes back to her planning, whispers*
Did you hear that? I called us innocent!
*takes a bottle of green ink from her pocket and a fresh quill and hands it to Calpurnia* There you are! Now! For the plans!
*she starts drawing complicated x's and o's on the sheet on which Goldie has labeled all the stickfigure drawings of the unwitting participants and the three genius masterminds. When she is done she cocks her head to the side and studies her calculations. Cal looks at her and says*
What does this all mean?
*Arianne turns and grins at Cal and says*
I don't rightly now, actually. Basically the plan is to sneak up behind them and pull their pants down...quite simple really.
*She pulls on Goldie's special Yrch-Pantsing gloves in much the same way an action movie star would do that clicky noise thing with his gun thing before going and spraying bullet projectile things at bad guys and stuff.*
Alright girls...on your marks...
OOC: Sorry...back y'all! I'll PM you Tar if need be, ok? You too Goldie. But as all we're doing is pantsing Yrch it really doesn't seem to require much thought!
"Oh No!!! They are going for the pants!!!"
Goldberry344
11-22-2002, 11:03 PM
*goldie gets up and meanders over to the bar near Azog. she grabs some pretzels from the counter and munches on them for a few seconds. she slowly slides next to Azog and pretends to be interested in what he is saying. then, in one swift movement, she reaches her arms around his waist, un does his belt and pulls his pants down around his ancles. giggling, she returns to the table to see how the other ladies fare.*
Wonko The Sane
11-22-2002, 11:37 PM
*Grins and giggles at Goldie's display of pantsing prowess, she waits for Calpurnia to tackle Nain before making her move on Snaga. This one is going to be tough, and she needs to gather her mental strength before undertaking such an arduous task*
Way to go, Goldie!!!
Look, Azog the scary Yrch wears Charlie Brown boxers!
Azog pulles his pants back up and graps the head of a young orc-child. He rips it off and hurls the bloody head at Goldie.
"Snaga!!! Watch Out!!! The meanest of 'em all is after you!!!"
Wonko The Sane
11-22-2002, 11:55 PM
*smiles sweetly, but her eyes betray a burning wickedness*
The meanest of all, eh? Thank you, m'dear Orc. I take that as a well-meant compliment!
*she settles back into her corner in the bar, watching Goldie try to pick bits of gore from her hair, she shakes her head* Pity that. It really is.
*Eyes Snaga's stooped back as he sits at the bar and drinks his evil brew. She plots her moves, painstakingly reviewing them in her head, she tightens the gloves around her wrists, preparing herself to go in for the kill.*
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 12:38 AM
*catches the bloody yrch head* "hey, that wasnt nice...." *throws the head back at Azog*
Azog catches the head, and laughs at the flesh in the hair of goldie. He sticks it back on the young orc and the child runs off, as happy as ever.
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 12:55 AM
*picks chunks of flesh from out of her hair and shoots them with a straw at azog*
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 01:01 AM
*Pulls out her strategy-marked parchment and beings to make a complicated diagrams involving a large, ugly blob of something completely indistinguishable but most likely swamp muck labeled "Snaga" and an equally large, equally ugly rendering of Big Bird labeled "Arianne".*
Great things are afoot, *She says. And then feeling the need to defend her partner in crime she leaves her booth, rolling her parchment and sliding it into her magic pockets. From the other pocket she pulls out a small, clear pouch which appears empty. She glides up behind Azog, taps him on his left shoulder, and while he turns to look she slips behind his right one and dumps the microscopic contents of her bag into his food. She slinks off as he turns back to his meal and shrugging, continues eating.*
*She returns to her booth and whispers in Goldie's ear* I just infected Azog with Cholera! This should be pleasantly disguisting and painful for him!
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 01:08 AM
*smiles and continues blowing flesh at azog* "go arianne. you rock my socks" *looks at feet* "well, whenever i wear socks, you rock them"
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 01:10 AM
*Closes her eyes, and breathes deeply, then opens them and says* I know I walk around barefoot all the time, but I have to ask...what is with with Bay-Staters and not wearing socks?!
*calms down*
Alright...*grins and her eyes settle on Azog, temporarily distracted from her Yrch Pantsing campaign to watch the bacteria wreak havoc on Azog's intestinal wall*
Luckily, Azog forgets about his food due to the flying hair and brain coming at him. After he dodges it all, he turns to eat, but is hit by a rather large wad of esophagus, which destracts him and causes him to turn from his meal.
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 01:17 AM
*Though she is greatly disappointed she does have the pleasure of watching some patron's pet of indistinguishable species lap up the rest of Azog's food. After about 30 minutes of watching the disgusting, horned, feathered, and blackened beast Arianne can see it's eyes widen suddenly, and it scurries off into the night yowling in pain*
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 01:19 AM
*looks at toes* what? do you wear socks with sandals? personally i think thats ugly. but ya. *grabs a chunck of something's nose and hurls it at Azog, missing terribly and hitting snaga instead*
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 01:25 AM
OOC: Good! Thank you for not wearing socks with sandals! People in WA do that all the time!
IC: *Grins wickedly and shouts* FLESH FIGHT!
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 01:30 AM
that is SO bothersome. i dont event think you understand. anyone who does that is sillier than i can say
*chucks a bit of an earlobe at wonks*
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 01:36 AM
OOC:
Originally posted by Goldberry344
that is SO bothersome. i dont event think you understand. anyone who does that is sillier than i can say
Totally agree..my friend John wears gold-toed socks with sandals! AAGH!
IC: Hey now! We're on the same side!! *Hurls a disembodied finger at Goldie, and then a bit of thigh meat at Azog*
"Where'd we get those... I only ripped off the kid's head."
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 02:01 AM
"hey, where's the thigh from?? i trade you a humerous for a thigh...."
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 02:06 AM
*lifts up a sack and grins* From this Sack O' Flesh! I got it at the Discount Mart! ;)
*hands Goldie some thigh meat in exchange for a humerus which she hurls at Nain, thonking him in the head*
"Shall we gang up on the dwarf?"
Azog turns to see the cat-like creature who had stolen his meal. He whisks out his sword and chops the creature up. He throws the pieces at Nain, giving Nain cholera. Luckily, Azog was wearing his CholeraProof gloves.
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 02:23 AM
*Grins wickedly, as she is wont to do and chucks an Orc heart at Nain's head, spattering blood across his helmet*
NICE!!!
*lobs a tongue in Nain's direction but misses and hits Snaga in the back of the head*
Oops...sorry, mate!
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 02:24 AM
*hurls a brain at nain* "sure. we'll probably end up buring him in the pile of apendages and such, though"
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 02:27 AM
Eh, one less Dwarf to worry about.
*Lobs a handful of large intestine at Nain, it slurps, and oozes over his armor, trailing slime and bile all over him*
Ecthelion
11-23-2002, 02:29 AM
Nain dives behind the bar and whips out a Flesh-Shooter 9000 and a pile of body parts from under the bar. He unleashes his fury shooting toes, and fingers at Goldie, she dodges the first few, but then there's to many and they come fast nailing her many times. Then for Azog a few feet that clunk him in his stomach knocking the wind out of him for a second, Then finally Wonko. Nain pulls out lots of eyeballs and some arms which pummel her leaving lots of brusies. With a free second Nain puts some chairs across the bar sheilding him from most attacks. He reloads his Flesh-SHooter and waits for the first to get back up.
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 02:35 AM
*grumbles about cheating Dwarves*
This is not fair! You're supposed to use your own power to throw the flesh!! *pulls out the Official Flesh Fight Rule Book* See!!!
*ducks to avoid behing hit with a flying brain tumor* That is SOO not allowed!!!!
*She lobs a foot in Nain's direction, poking him in the eye with a toenail*
HAH!
Ecthelion
11-23-2002, 02:51 AM
Ouchie. "I know, but if you read on pg 467 it says in pubs you ARE allowed to use other items, like this." Nain kicks a chair that held a back door open and out rolled The Food-A-Pault 300. On it was a huge ball of every body part known. It was aimed straight at Wonko. Nain pulled a string and the huge ball flew with great force. Nain smiled as the ball slammed Wonko into a wall and covered her from head to toe in most likely some heads and toes.
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 03:01 AM
*steps on nain* that ought to do the trick....
Tar-Ancalime
11-23-2002, 05:06 AM
Calpurnia, who for some reason, has managed to stay safely out of the flesh fight leaves remembering an urgent meeting
Azog turns to Nain and stares.
"You never.... ever use a weapon in flesh fighting. As well portrayed in code 37.9 'Any male participants using any weapon, no matter what the location, that hurls multiple limbs at any one creature must be tied to a Warg and stripped of his manhood'."
Azog whistles and Vublung, his mighty warg, comes barreling in. Vublung pins Nain down and waits eagerly to drag the dwarf around the Inn.
Azog removes Nain's weapons and gives them to Drygo.
"Keep 'em away from the dwarf."
He then walks back to Nain and ties his foot to the back of Vublung.
"Have fun boy!" says Azog as the dwarf is dragged out of the door.
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 06:00 AM
*goggels at nain then collapses into a chair laughing her head off* "You rock my socks, Azog!"
"What socks?" Azog says, looking at goldie's feet.
The room was now quiet, and gory limbs lay strewn about. The mess was soon cleaned up by a few hungry orc children.
The door burst open, and a pantsed dwarf flew in, knocking over a table.
"Sorry Tar, but Vublung pantsed him for you.";)
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 06:14 AM
*Pulls her duct tape socks out of her bag* "THESE socks, silly"
Wonko The Sane
11-23-2002, 07:36 AM
*Laughing hysterically at Azog's escapades she picks her way through the mess of flesh littering the floor and takes a seat next to Snaga at the bar, she orders a Vodka Ice and drinks it slowly, sipping the drink, languidly letting the citrus liquid slide down her throat. She eyes Snaga from the corners of her violet eyes, looking out from under her lashes, smiling softly. She knows she can't hope to trick the battle hardened orc into distraction, so she just plays the game slowly, biding her time, keeping her cards well out of sight. This is one Yrch whose pants don't stand a chance.*
Ecthelion
11-23-2002, 03:49 PM
After miles of riding the warg stops. Nain finds a huge rock and punds the warg with it, until it does. Nain next goes to a local shop and gets some new clothes and weapons. Then Nain finds a warg that he makes friends with and rides back to the pub. Outside the door he pulls out a huge roll of scotch tape. Nain kickd the door open and smiled. Everyone inside started laughing at what had happened to him. Then he made a starge whistle and a pack of wargs charged in ripping off everyones clothes and any other articles outside. Then Nain quickly scotch taped everyone to different chairs(while the wargs still distracted them. Then he tied a rope from the chair to a different warg. Nain whistled again and everyone went off in different directions. "So Long!" He yelled as he laughed. He rechanged into his old clothes that lay on the floor and picked his weapons. WIth that he jumped on Warg and rode off.
Unbeknownst to Nain, these are Azog's Wargs (as stated in the Council of the Mornclaur Federation) After Nain leaves, all entrances are guarded from his entry, as seventy Wargs go after Nain. They carry him back, playfully ripping his skin off, and he is tied upside down to the rafters.
"Who wants to hit the piñata first?" Azog says pulling out a bone that had left its fromer elven owner.
Ecthelion
11-23-2002, 05:31 PM
Nain explodes for some reason. Aw shucks.
"How did that happen?" Azog asks while picking up a limb.
Goldberry344
11-23-2002, 08:10 PM
*grabs nain's femur* "Shucks. and i wanted to whack it first. can we get a new one?? "
I am afraid he is gone. We will have a funeral, and then the typical Dark Legion after-funeral-party.
Goldberry344
11-24-2002, 09:16 PM
*bangs the table with the femur* so i suppose you'll want to bury this too. *hrum*
Oh, that... Nope. We only need this *holds up a skull* and a great fire, made by yours truly the pyromancer.
*lights skull on fire and watches it desintegrate into ashes*
"Time for the after-funeral party!"
Goldberry344
11-25-2002, 03:22 AM
"cool is there food at this party??" *glances around* "and why is everyone else rather quiet??"
"Sure there is food. See Nain's leg over there? That there is a full course snack."
Azog bites a chunk out of the soft leg meat.
"A little stale, if you ask me."
Goldberry344
11-25-2002, 03:59 AM
*stares at the leg* "i dont eat dwarf. they're too tough and ucky"
Wonko The Sane
11-25-2002, 07:17 PM
*In the midst of all the confusion involving exploding Dwarves and After-Funeral-Parties Arianne, still at the bar next to a blood bespattered Snaga feels it time to make her move. She reaches as if to pick up her drink, but instead "carelessly" knocks her wrist against it, sending the liquid cascading in Snaga's direction. He springs from his seat, arms outstretched, an angry glare on his face. Arianne's eyes grow wide in mock shock and she mumbles apologetically as she grabs a napkin and reaches towards Snaga to help him mop up, but then, with Elvish cunning and swiftness, her gloved hands shoot out, undo his Orcish belt, and yank his pants to the ground. Arianne shouts excitedly and dances away back to her corner where she and Goldie shower eachother with high-fives and laugh hysterically*
Snaga
11-25-2002, 07:20 PM
Snaga takes the rest of his clothes off, since they're all wet, sits down and carries on with his drink as if nothing had happened.
Wonko The Sane
11-25-2002, 08:03 PM
*Stops laughing and turns to stare, wide-eyed at Snaga at the bar. She's stunned first of all because of the complete lack of backlash and Orcish violence now being directed in her general direction, and even more stunned to see that the orc is completely naked*
Hmm...Naked Yrch...I don't know whether to be disgusted...or to jump him...*She thinks, but wisely keeps her hands to herself and just sits, staring, still dumbfounded. She turns to whisper to Goldie* Can he DO that here?!
Morwen
11-25-2002, 08:04 PM
"Well, well, aren't we all just innately evil this evening," growled Morwen as she stepped lightly through the door.
"Someone has to be stoically evil; it might as well be me."
She peers around the room, finds a secluded portion, and sits quietly.
Wonko The Sane
11-25-2002, 08:07 PM
*is still staring surreptitiously out of the corner of her eyes as she talks to Goldie and plans ahead for their strike on Azog and Drygo*
Snaga
11-25-2002, 10:12 PM
No, Morwen, I am being stoically evil under trying circumstances. Perhaps you could be phlegmatically evil instead?
Wonko The Sane
11-25-2002, 10:30 PM
*Turns to Morwen* Or maniacally evil.
Morwen
11-25-2002, 11:56 PM
I think you evaluate my personality incorrectly. Perhaps sadistically evil would be more fitting.
Snaga
11-26-2002, 12:06 AM
Yes but really, sadistically evil is so passe! Can't you go for breezily evil? Or perhaps deliciously evil?
Wonko The Sane
11-26-2002, 12:09 AM
Or maybe demonically evil?
Morwen
11-26-2002, 12:14 AM
I'm sure I wouldn't taste well for a main dish, or even a desert. Breezily....doesn't give a extreme sense of cold.
And demonically evil....um...one, I don't have halitosis. Two, I am much more dazziling than a demon.
I've got it: acrimoniously evil.
Wonko The Sane
11-26-2002, 12:19 AM
*Decides that acrimoniously evil almost describes Morwen perfectly but in fact just fails to see the light of day*
Goldberry344
11-26-2002, 04:08 AM
*goldie smiles encouragingly at arianne and nods* right right......wait, what just happened?
Wonko The Sane
11-26-2002, 06:37 PM
I pantsed Snaga
I laughed
Snaga took off all his clothes and sat down at the bar again
Snaga is now naked
We must remember not to use that stool again after he's done with it
;)
Morwen decided she was acrimoniously evil
I decided it didn't quite fit the bill
There were quite a few bits with shouting and pushing people about
You showed up
I wrote this list
The End!
Goldberry344
11-26-2002, 09:54 PM
*goldie's eyes widen* I MISSED THE PUSHING AND SHOVING??? no way. *shoves Azog into Snaga (yes, the naked snaga), snaga falls off the stool* "ok, now i dont feel so left out."
Wonko The Sane
11-26-2002, 10:08 PM
*Laughs and extends a hand to help Snaga up*
You'll have to ignore her. She's a bit stir-crazy...
Snaga
11-27-2002, 09:56 PM
* deftly ties Arianne and Goldie's hair together in an evil Dark Legion un-untiable knot. Then pushes them both over into a sprawling heap on the floor*
Hah!:D
* Goes to get some clean clothes *
Yes I know un-untiable isnt a word. But I'm using it anyway
Goldberry344
11-27-2002, 10:09 PM
*smirks* if its UN un tieable, its not untieable, so......*undoes the knot quite easily* "wonks, that orc needs to go to school!"
Wonko The Sane
11-27-2002, 10:37 PM
*giggles*
I think he IS in school!
Anyway, that's the last time I try to help that fool!!
He'd better be going to get a skirt, cos I'll totally pants him again!!
And this time I'll spill tomato sauce or something instead of alcohol!
Azog shies away from the plotting people and stands next to Drygo.
"They come in and think that they own the place, pantsing warriors weilding large sharp objects. The thing about it is that we can't revolt, because if we kill all of the women, there won't be any more orcs to fight in the wars."
Wonko The Sane
11-27-2002, 10:50 PM
I heard that!
Anyway, I'm not a woman, I'm an elf!
There's a difference.
*retreats upstairs and returns a few minutes later dressed all in black, her silver hair now so dark, so raven it nearly seems to gleam a deep purple in some lights*
Mm...now I LOOK evil! So much for Arianne the White Elf!
Snaga
11-28-2002, 02:48 PM
* A philologist arrives and points out that if the knot was not untieable, she cant have untied it *
* Goldie suddenly realises that she (a) not half as clever as she thought and (b) is still tied to Wonks, and they both fall over again, into an puddle consisting of spilt alcohol, and Nains decomposing remains, messing up Ariannes new ensemble *
* Upstairs, Snaga chuckles, while still deciding what to wear *
I could go Scottish... but I'm not sure that's really me... Hmmm... There's got to be a more DL solution to this problem...
Perhaps we should just ban elves? I am the proprieter... I could do that. Muahahaha... Horrible maggot-ridden golug-filth ska! Or we could kill all the elves and eat them...
Hmmm or perhaps.... *lightbulb! ping!!*
* Gets dressed in his fave orcish attire, then waves hand, mutters secret words *
* Suddenly a hundred or more Snaga holograms appear, and the entire crowd wander downstairs. Which one is the real Snaga? Or is he still upstairs? *
Wonko The Sane
12-02-2002, 10:48 PM
*Decides that as she has magic pockets she can solve any problems. Reaches into her pockets and pulls out magic knot-untying gloves and unties her hair from Goldies, standing up she goes upstairs, changes into an identical outfit and comes back downstairs. Her eyes widen as she sees all the Snaga look alikes and decides she must've died and gone to heaven. Trying very hard not to swoon she weaves her way through the holographic crowd and settles in her darkened corner to gawk*
Goldberry344
12-03-2002, 12:29 AM
Originally posted by snaga1
* Goldie suddenly realises that she (a) not half as clever as she thought and (b) is still tied to Wonks, and they both fall over again, into an puddle consisting of spilt alcohol, and Nains decomposing remains, messing up Ariannes new ensemble *
oh, you must think you're terribly clever. a knot that is untieable can not be undone. a knot that is not untieable is not not able to be undone. double negative. like in math class, negative times negative = postive, therefore the knot was already undone.
stop trying to feel smart, orc. *grins*
Wonko The Sane
12-03-2002, 02:10 AM
Either way the knots undone now as if it wasn't undone before I surely undid it...
And another thing...YEAH!!
*Still oggling all the holographic Snaga's and wondering which one she should try to pants first*
Wonko The Sane
12-03-2002, 02:10 AM
Either way the knots undone now as if it wasn't undone before I surely undid it...
And another thing...YEAH!!
*Still oggling all the holographic Snaga's and wondering which one she should try to pants first*
Snaga
12-04-2002, 04:41 PM
Originally posted by Goldberry344
oh, you must think you're terribly clever. a knot that is untieable can not be undone. a knot that is not untieable is not not able to be undone. double negative. like in math class, negative times negative = postive, therefore the knot was already undone.
stop trying to feel smart, orc. *grins* *whichever hologram Goldie was talking to replies: *
I see your problem. You understand logic, but alas, not the English language.
To tie a knot = To make by fastening ends or parts.
Thus to untie a knot = To undo or loosen (a knot or something knotted).
Thus a knot that is untieable CAN be undone. One that is not untieable CAN'T be undone. And consequently, I don't need to try to feel smart, because you make me feel smart already *grins more*
Wonko The Sane
12-04-2002, 07:26 PM
*turns to whichever hologram it was that was just speaking and says* That's cos you ARE smart, dear.
*then realises she's supposed to be evil here and pulls a dagger from a sheath around her calf and flings it in the holograms direction. Of course as it was a hologram the blade sails harmlessly through it and sticks itself into the wall near the bar. Arianne gets up, jerks her knife from the wall, and orders a Stone Sour, then sits herself at the bar, a fierce look in her eyes*
Dáin Ironfoot I
12-04-2002, 07:34 PM
*Dain walks into the Inn and is immediatly jumped by two Orcs. 'Cept Dain has a big axe and disposes of them. Sits down gets a beer then leaves because everyone is looking at him evily*
*Walks outside, lights a match, and sets fire to the Burning Chicken Inn.*
"Let's see those chickens burn now" Dain says. *Runs away really fast laughing evily* "MWHAHAHAHA!"
Wonko The Sane
12-04-2002, 07:45 PM
*rolls her eyes at Dain's antics and steps outside, from her magic pockets she pulls an immense firehose and starts putting out the flames, when she's done she tucks the hose back into her pocket, dries her hands on her skirt and goes back inside, the inn none-the-worse.*
Goldberry344
12-04-2002, 07:48 PM
*mutters and kicks snags* "SHUDDUP! no one likes you.'
except wonko. she's the only one
Wonko The Sane
12-04-2002, 08:16 PM
OOC: Are you kidding?! EVERYONE likes Snags!!!
*would attempt to seduce the orc and give him a kiss if only she could figure out which one he actually was, and anyway as he's trying to keep up an evil image she doubts he'd appreciate it*
IC: *Realises that she's supposed to be evil and that while in character as Arianne SHE'S not supposed to like Snags either as he's an orc and she's an elf so she says*
Got that right! *and takes a drink of her stone sour*
Rogue666666
12-05-2002, 09:08 AM
*American paratrooper from the 101srt dives through the door,weapon at his hip, ready to blow anything and everything to smithereens*
*Thinks to himself, hmmm, this might be drop zone F, I mean, who else but Nazi's could look as bad as this bunch*
" HEY! Any of you of you filthy dirtbags a nazi? I'm looking for Normandy, and if this is it, then get ready to die..."
"Ohh, And by the way, I'll have a beer while I'm at it."
Snaga
12-05-2002, 11:25 AM
Suddenly all 100 Holo-Snagas get a strange sense of deja vu.
Wonko The Sane
12-05-2002, 11:14 PM
*As Arianne stares at the annoying paratrooper she narrows her eyes and then rolls them exaggeratedly.*
This is getting old...*she mutters, before drawing a silver-black arrow and nocking it in her bow. With one swift pull and a quick release the arrow is sent whooshing through the air, straight for the paratroopers heart. It pierces his chest and he stares, shocked at the Dark Elf at the bar while she smiles a wicked smile. Since you're not allowed to kill other people's RPG characters the paratrooper does not die, but he does go away, to look for Drop-Zone F elsewhere, and try to remove the arrow and staunch the flow of blood from his gaping wound. Arianne smirks and casts a scowl around the room before returning to her Stone Sour.*
Snaga
12-06-2002, 01:27 AM
*Tumultuous applause rings out as 100 Holo-Snaga's applaud*
* Then they all try to go to the bar at the same time. Tempers fray and they start fighting each other*
Rogue666666
12-06-2002, 02:16 AM
Then the paratrooper realizes that this is just a forum, and that he can do whatever he wants, until he's kicked out at least.
*The paratrooper strides back in the door, looking more evil than any SS soldier ever did. He notices the girl in the croner who shot the dart at him. He very calmy points his sub-machine gun in her direcon and empties the entire 40 round clip into her brain, blowing her through the wall and back outside. then he once more sits down, first grabbing himself a beer, and gulps eagerly.*
Dáin Ironfoot I
12-06-2002, 09:21 PM
*Dain laughs as he pours the remainder of his beer on the dead woman's ashes*
*But Dain screams as the ashes come together to form GIANT EVIL BEER SORCERESS OF DEATH (GEBSOD)!!!! Apparently Arraine's ashes reacted with the beer....*
*GEBSOD kicks Dain is the arse to the Heren Istarion thread where he belongs, and wonders why he meddles in the affairs of the Burning Chicken Inn.*
Wonko The Sane
12-07-2002, 01:54 AM
None of that happened, since you're not allowed to kill other people's RPG characters.
So...*Arianne, still alive and NOT covered in beer turns and looks at the 100 Holo-Snagas clamoring to get to the bar, and since there are 100 Holo-Snagas going towards the bar, that means the 101st Snaga in the room, the one not at the bar, must be the real Snaga. She sneaks up behind the real Snaga, who's sitting in a booth trying to go unnoticed and she tickles him around the middle. He yelps and collapses into giggles and completely breaks his concentration and all the yelling and biting Holo-Snagas fizzle out of existence.*
THAT gotcha!!
Dáin Ironfoot I
12-07-2002, 08:36 PM
*Dain goes off by himself and cries in a corner because his plan has been foiled once again*
Snaga
12-07-2002, 10:35 PM
Rogue666666 is suddenly overwhelmed by an uncanny feeling that everyone is the room is very bored by him. Then he realises its true. Then he realises that the combination of his insistence on being a paratrooper in a Middle Earth bar, combined with this mind-numbing effect of his, will mean that he will be lucky if anyone responds to his posts. Even the bar staff do not react to his request for beer, since in their world, he simply does not exist. The idea of leaving this thread and not coming back flashes through Rogue666666's mind....
Meanwhile, Snaga is completely oblivious to this.
'Leave me alone, she-elf!' he leers at Arianne. 'Go and play with Azog: he likes you.'
Wonko The Sane
12-08-2002, 01:02 AM
*laughs maniacally* No problem, sir. *she saunters off, sneaks up behind Azog, and pulls his pants down for the THIRD time*
You are just too easy, Azog. I need a challenge.
Goldberry344
12-08-2002, 03:20 AM
*pulls azog's pants down again as he pulls them up* "you dont learn, do you boy?"
"Right...." Azog says, clearly annoyed by the simple-mindedness of females.
He runs out of the door and comes back 10 minutes later with the Magneto-atmospoheric-titanium-quantum-hydroelectric Belt. (very handy);)
Tar-Ancalime
12-08-2002, 08:27 AM
A mysterious looking figure walks in, her dark cloak concealing her face. She sits in the corner. A young orc child goes up to her
"D'ya witsh summath ta duirink?" he asks.
"Yes, indeed, a martini please." she responds
"yars lardy."
The young orc brings her the drink and she sits, pensively. Observing the towns folk
Goldberry344
12-08-2002, 10:37 PM
Goldie glances at the newcomer and giggles. *whispers to wonks* "shaken not stirred...."q
Tar-Ancalime
12-09-2002, 04:35 AM
the silent figure rolls her eyes.
Wonko The Sane
12-10-2002, 10:01 PM
*Shakes her head* Oh Azog, Azog, Azog...You just DON'T learn! *sneaks up behind him and pulls on Goldie's Orc Pantsing gloves, his Magneto-atmospheric-titanium-quantum-hydroelectric belt jumps open and Arianne yanks his pants down*
*giggling she runs to Goldie* Hehe...the orc has no knickers on! *laughs and then looks at the silent figure and says* Bond, James Bond. *In her best Sean Connery accent*
Snaga
12-10-2002, 11:00 PM
* thwacks orc-boy for calling the mysterious person 'Lardy' *
Be polite sonny! She's not fat, so don't call her that!
* thwack *
* looks around and decides he doesnt like his own bar. Wonders if he should shut it down *
Wonko The Sane
12-10-2002, 11:02 PM
*wonders if she should grab Goldie and leave to effectively bring the evilness level back up so Snaga will like his bar again*
Tar-Ancalime
12-11-2002, 02:19 AM
The lady just sighs, walks up to the bar, suddenly the door opens and a huge wind goes through, the hood is blown off...its...TAR!
Wonko The Sane
12-12-2002, 08:08 PM
*changes her mind, decides to stop pantsing yrch, and sits in the corner again, to drink and observe, and to learn the ways of the evil ones so she doesn't anger Snaga any longer. She nods to Tar*
Welcome back Dark Queen.
OOC: Yeah, sad silly little elf doesn't like it when Snaga's mad...even when it's just the RPG character! It bothers me...yech...Ok...running away swiftly now.
Tar-Ancalime
12-13-2002, 01:41 AM
I wanted to get to rhun unnoticed! Goshdarnit!,
hi Arianne
Goldberry344
12-14-2002, 08:33 PM
*turns off the fan* HEHEHE, TO BAD TAR!
Gandalfthebeige
12-23-2002, 07:09 AM
Gandalf the Beige lugged his four-foot high body through the door. He wasn't the evilest Ishtar, or the nicest, thus giving him a difficult decision of colors, hence the neutral beige. Looking to prove that he has slightly more luck w/ the ladies than Gandalf the Purple..er, White, he approaches Tar nervously and orders two blue milks( This is the Mos Eisley Cantina, right?)
Tar-Ancalime
12-23-2002, 07:12 AM
Tar looked strangely at the little man thinking he must be lost, yet still maintaining her politness said,
"To what do I owe this favor?"
Gandalfthebeige
12-23-2002, 07:18 AM
The small wizard replies, "My lady, amidst a see of evil wenches with hearts of downright not-niceness, your beauty shines like a brilliant star! And that's not the vodka talking, neither!"
Tar-Ancalime
12-23-2002, 07:07 PM
"You are such a sweet man, for being so tiny...are you sure you are not bred of a wizard and a hobbit?" Tar said, "But it is nothing I have not heard.." The little man looked confused Tar continued on. "You must be greatly decieved for how can the dark queen of mordor be pure of heart."
Gandalfthebeige
12-24-2002, 07:22 AM
The wee wizard ponders this for a moment. "Hmm," he says, "didn't think about that. Well, uh, I'm a very EVIL Hobbit."
Tar-Ancalime
12-24-2002, 04:03 PM
"Here's something else to cause you pondering, is it often you attempt to hit on married women, especalliy those married to the Dark lord." Tar said this and took her seat.
Goldberry344
12-24-2002, 10:15 PM
Goldberry chuckels. "be nice, tar, you never know what kind of wizard this wee hobbit truly is!"
Tar-Ancalime
12-24-2002, 10:16 PM
"Me...be mean...i'm insulted!" Tar said.
Snaga
12-29-2002, 09:28 PM
* rudely throws Goldie out *
Rule no. 5424: no one insults the Dark Queen! Come back when you've learnt your place!:mad:
Yes, OK I totally made that rule up, but now I've done so, it will have to be observed!:D
Tar-Ancalime
12-29-2002, 09:32 PM
*tar laughs*
Snag its been awhile hows life
Snaga
01-05-2003, 02:45 AM
* bows * Life is good, your munificence!
At least now these appalling festivities are over, we can all stop pretending to be like our relatives and all get EVIL again!:D
Tar-Ancalime
01-05-2003, 03:28 AM
speaking of evil...Isn't my new avatar cool!
Wonko The Sane
01-06-2003, 06:38 AM
Very cool! I LOVE it!!
*pulls a scroll from her magic pockets and a quill and pot of ink from the other and writes*
New Year's Resolutions:
1) Be more evil
2) Seduce an orc
3) Repeat steps one and two as often as possible.
Tar-Ancalime
01-06-2003, 10:32 PM
hmm..mine would be seduce legolas but....each to her own
Wonko The Sane
01-07-2003, 05:44 AM
*Giggles* Yes...to each her own.
*Eyes the orcs in the bar, trying to decide which one to seduce first*
Snaga
01-07-2003, 06:32 PM
That is a cool Av Tar. I like it!
Mine would be to kill Legolas. But each to his own... you can have his dead body if you like. I'm kind like that... I know Azog over there would probably want to chop him up and feed him to the wargs.
By the way did anyone notice Saruman's Wargs aren't very wolf-like? What that about? Stupid movie.... Stupid Isengarders.:mad:
Tar-Ancalime
01-08-2003, 12:31 AM
hey! I liked that movie!
thanks for the av compliment
Wonko The Sane
01-08-2003, 01:32 AM
I liked that movie cos I saw it with a certain unpleasant Orc.
Unpleasant Orcs are so cool. *daydreams*
And yes...the wargs weren't very wolfish at all! They were like sabertoothed things...
Also, is it just me or is Haldir the Very Gay Elf very very gay?
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