The Burning Chicken Inn

[Goldberry344]

*pokes head back into door from rainy outside and wheezes* "BE nice wonks, the dude is dead. sides from that, aragorn hugged him, he obviously didnt go for the rugged bloody stubbly manliness..."

[Tar-Ancalime]

I liked it cause i saw it with Harry...ahhh....oh i mean...damn you know about my affair:p! but regardless it was good

[Wonko The Sane]

Come back in, Goldie.

If Snags complains I'll just thwack him and then I dunno...torture him.

[Goldberry344]

we can pretend i forced my way in as we dont want you looking *shudder* nice.

[Wonko The Sane]

Right. GET OUT!!!

;)

Hehe.

[Goldberry344]

no. end of argument. *sticks out tongue at wonks and sits down*

[Wonko The Sane]

*Chuckles to herself and gets up, her leather bodysuit creaking as she walks, she goes to sit by Goldie and leans in conspiratorially*
We'll get kicked out if we pants anybody...and if we act cute and/or silly so let's do our very best to be evil, alright?
That doesn't mean we still can't seduce anyone though. In fact I think that it encourages us to do so...so long as we do it evilly.
Let's plot and plan! I think I saw 'Lij here while you were out. *winks suggestively*

[Snaga]

* Haldir flounces in * Who wants a hair cut?

* Snaga snarls *

* Haldir has a quick manicure, and then leaves *

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar who has been watching is finally bored of the lack of entertainment....calls in a band called, "THE Corsairs of Umbar"

[Wonko The Sane]

*Chuckles as Haldir the Very Gay Elf nances around the inn before making a flourishing exit*

That elf is so gay...*she mumbles as she and Goldie discuss their evil plotting*

[Goldberry344]

*goldie giggles, tries to cover it up with a cackle, fails, and snorts* "I KNOW! he totally had a picture of legolas embroidered on his quiver..."

[Wonko The Sane]

Evil elves and hobbits do not giggle, my dear. ;)

[Goldberry344]

but im not a hobbit or an elf. and i tried to cover it up. *nervous twitcy glance*

[Wonko The Sane]

Right...I thought you were a hobbit...nevermind.

Evil Goldie's do not giggle.

[Snaga]

Originally posted by Tar-Ancalime
Tar who has been watching is finally bored of the lack of entertainment....calls in a band called, "THE Corsairs of Umbar" Interesting that they emphasise the 'THE' in their name. What sort of music do they do?

Perhaps I should try to liven this place up a bit. My barman seems to have vacated the building too.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Dude! Were a sort of celtic/punk rock!" says the leader, Jeoffey.

[Wonko The Sane]

Let's listen to music, Snaga, if it's alright by you I'll serve drinks?

I promise to be evil about it. *winks*

*Gets up and stalks towards the bar, cloak swirling about her, she tosses her raven hair and smiles warmly.*

May I?

[Snaga]

* Entranced by hair-tossing Arianne *

Yes of course. The job is yours!

* Turns to Jeoffrey * Play! Better be good or the orcs will start lobbing furniture at ya!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Jeoffery began the opening of the song, " morgul speak". It begins with 10 seconds of a celtic melody than added the full band.


*singing*
Hey, we aren't lost quite yet!
we got all right here, with our morgul speak.
Though it's a slight similarity, and not that refined,
It still links us, for all time

It just takes some time,
speakin the the morgul tounge,
dark as it is,
it fits our persona,
our stormy past,
our stormy past!

Hey, I see you roll those eyes,
I know you don't like,
that small aspect,
But you dont try,
to understand the joys of the morgul speak.

It just takes some time,
speakin the the morgul tounge,
dark as it is,
it fits our persona,
our stormy past,
our stormy past!

Speakin in the morgul speak,
constantly,
dark is may be,
it fits our stormy,
darker past!

*song ends*

OCC: poor tar hope she did alright as she is a bad lyricist
:(

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by snaga1
* Entranced by hair-tossing Arianne *

Yes of course. The job is yours!

* Turns to Jeoffrey * Play! Better be good or the orcs will start lobbing furniture at ya!

*Smiles a winsome smile and bows her head respectfully*

Thank you. *she murmurs as she goes about setting up the bar for her work, studying the orc out of the corner of her eye. She thinks *

Hmm..is it just me or does he seem enchanted by my smiles and hair tosses...I may win him over yet...

*She smiles to herself and goes back to familiarizing herself with the workings of the bar and memorizing the drink list*

[Snaga]

*Applauds the band* Excellent... great lyrics!

You know... this place has not been the same since... since Azog and Khamul got scared off by being pantsed. In fact since Balrog Bob was lighting his effusions. Indeed since Serewing took off in his Corsairs ship... I thought he was going to send us a post card. Hmmm...

Still at least we have bar staff, and a band... its a shame we have no customers. Sometimes it reminds me of... * stares into space, and shudders *

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar who was sleeping, said suddenly , "OMG! I had to be somewhere!" Than she went back to sleep

[Snaga]

In the gloomy light, Snaga doesnt realise that Tar is asleep and talks to her in a low voice. As he does other dark characters draw near and begin to listen...

'Ah well... do you recall the time when I left my throne in Mt Gundabad, in the hands of a band of scoundrels, while I went on Dark Legion business to Esgaroth?

'It was a grim and sour day, as the last warmth of the summer was curdling, and the lake was like a putrid scar on the land... A more dreadful gathering it would have been difficult to envisage, but for the one they sought to raise from the waters....'

Snaga shudders.

'But it would not be well to recall that tale now. But, as I say, I left my land in the hands of the worst bunch of scoundrels, and though I travelled in the very company of the Necromancer of Angmar, when I returned my own armies had launched an assault on his castle. After loot, half of them were, and thought that this was a good a way to get it as any. Apes and fools! They understood little of what was unfolding in the world, far beyond the murky reaches of their mind... But that Serewing and Khamul would lead an assault, I would never have believed. Still less, that they were at each others throats the whole time... And with the agent of the cursed Sun-Emperor at the door! I should have slit their throats! As for why I didnt... that is a long tale.'

[Tar-Ancalime]

*snoooorrreeeeeeeee* *snooorreeeeee* *zzzzzzzzzzzzz*:D

[Gandalfthebeige]

GANDALF THE BEIGE IS INFURIATED! HE CALLS DOWN LIGHTNING ON THE PUB, DESTROYING ALL WHO OPPOSE HIM!

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar ignores him and decides to electrocute him instead

[Wonko The Sane]

*Arianne rolls her eyes at the dull-dressed wizard and bending with a flick of her wrists produces a black handled dagger from the tight-fitting sleeve of her body-suit. She hurls it at him with deadly precision, striking him in the left arm, penetrating his shriveled bicep, striking brittle bone. He cries out in pain and runs yelping from the bar. Arianne grins and says:*

Who needs bouncers? ;)

[Tar-Ancalime]

*goes back to sleep*

[Wonko The Sane]

*Continues mixing drinks, eyeing Snaga as he sits at the bar and drinks his orc draught*

[???]

Are you called The Burnt Chicken Inn because you burn chicken? Who cares, get me a hotdog.

[???]

Hello. Is anyone here?

[Wonko The Sane]

*Glares at the newcomer*

You must mean "Get me a hotdog, PLEASE", there sir.

And as for the name of the bar, you'll have to ask the proprietor Snaga the Orc. He's over there, in the corner. *She gestures with an elbow as she cleans a glass with a dirty rag*

[greypilgrim]

Agar, from far Harad, steps into the place. He immediately grabs a cold beer, sips the mug, shakes his head. He sees a good, empty table, so he goes over and sits down.
"Man" he says, "This inn is strange to me!" he said to himself.
His right hand is a hook, and he uses it to hold his drink.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Arianne tosses her drying rag to the counter top and steps down from behind the bar, leaving a trained Wait-Yrch to run the joint for a few ticks. She goes and settles across from Agar, and waves to another Wait-Yrch for him to bring her a Cosmopolitan.*

"I see you found the place alright." *she says resting a leather-sheathed elbow on the table and her chin on her hand, letting her black hair fall around her face. She leans in and whispers*

"Be careful here. We're a tough crowd."

[Tar-Ancalime]

*Tar Snores*

[greypilgrim]

The smell of the elf-lady seemed nice to Agar, compared to the other foul smells about the place. *looks at the black hair* Says back to the elf woman, "You just came over here? Unbidden? And no drink for me?" *Smiles* "You I like!" *Finishes his mug-o-beer.* Doesn't see a No Smoking sign, so just lights up a steel pipe........ "What for! A tough crowd should expect tough people, to wander near, or within it, no?"* Other people around might hear, so what!* "I can take care of myself!" *is there any games or anything in here?*

[Wonko The Sane]

*Arianne smirks and waves to another Wait-Yrch to bring Agar a drink.*

I'm the barmaid here, my name's Arianne. That orc over there *she indicates with a nod of her head* is the owner, Snaga. He'd sooner cut your tongue out than shake your hand. That woman in the corner sleeping on her table *she gestures with a graceful hand* is Tar-Ancalime, Dark Queen of Mornclaur herself and wife to the Dark Lord Dengen-Goroth. One word and she can have the skin peeled from your body and turned inside out as you watch. Over behind you is Azog, an Uruk-Hai. Big and mean. He just put a baby orc in a meet grinder and the sprayed the remains on the patrons here. *she takes another sip of her drink.*

Yeah. We're a tough crowd here. As for me well...I'll leave that judgement up to you. *She then narrows her eyes at you and your pipe.*

Your smoking however...let's just say that this isn't really a non-smoking type of establishment. *She pulls an ebony handled dagger from the top of her leather boot and with a deft flick of the wrist sends it flying across the room to sever the rope the sign was hanging from. It crashes to the floor, but nobody seems to notice. Snaga turns to look, rolls his eyes retrieves the knife and flings it back. Arianne catches it by the hilt and replaces it back in her boot-sheath.*

Enjoy your drink. *She says as she gets up and returns to her place behind the bar, her leather clad figure lit eerily in the neon glow.*

[greypilgrim]

"Of course I will!" Agar says, taking his first sip of the drink brought to him. *makes sure his feet are not in a puddle of mangled flesh, re-adjusts himself in his seat* "Daaang..." he thinks. "This is my kinda place!" *Continues to smoke the weed, and look around*

OOC-*What is going on in here? I just came in, don't know anything! Is there a jukebox? Pool-table? Knife throwing-competition? What's going on? :confused:

IC- Agar decides to move around the place, looking for a menu, he's hungry. *Looks and sees that some of the people here look familiar...minds his own buisness...obviously, if anyone had plans for him, they will try something, or something....soon. He will keep his defenses high in this place....
*stops a Yrch-waiter* "YOU, bring me a menu now, heap of dirt!"
*releases his grip* "Dang, orcs are disgusting" Agar thinks.

[Azog]

Azog walked over to the bar and ordered a drink. Five minutes later, a four foot-tall mug was placed in front of him. In a matter of seconds, Azog had emptied it, and let out so great a belch that it sent many unsuspecting people flying through the air and into the walls of the Inn.

"Excuse me." Azog politely said, and retreated to his seat by the door.

[Elijah'sgurl]

azog i hate ur icon.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Wonko The Sane]

"Elijah's Gurl...this is the Burning Chicken Inn.
Official watering hole for the Dark Legion.

If you don't want Azog to kill you like he killed Legolas I suggest you run away swiftly now."

*Arianne glares at the young 'un as she wipes glasses. She snares a wait-yrch and sends him to Agar's table.*

"You've made him wait long enough." *She growls.*
"You don't want us to lose our customers do you? *The orc snarls and snaps his teeth. Arianne digs her stiletto heeled boot into his foot and he yelps and hurries to take Agar's order.*

"What's yer pleasure, masssster?" *The dirty yrch leers.*

[Tar-Ancalime]

*wakes at mention of her name...falls back asleep*

[Wonko The Sane]

*Arianne stops suddenly as if hit with a blow from behind.*

"Did that grey fool just insult yrch?!" *She growls between gritted teeth.*

[greypilgrim]

"Bring me a meat-pie, with vegetables! and two of those......"*points to the large mugs of beer or whatver Azog just ordered. "And try not to touch it, thanks! I'll sit at the bar."

!Dudes, Agar's not grey, he's black! And bald, too. (no grey hair)!

Azog was over there, throwing back the drink.
"Dang..." Agar said. *scratches his head*
*Whistles* to (Arianne?) behind the bar *Hey put one of those on some ice for me!"
Some weakling human bumped into him, and Agar tore his whole head off, with his one hand (the hook) in anger.."Didn't mean to get blood all over the floor!" he said to the owner..Jeez.

[Tar-Ancalime]

*tar gets up*

Dammit, you got blood on the hem of my dress!

*she then walks over and smacks agar's head*

[greypilgrim]

*looks at Tar..."I was just trying to get a beer, and he disturbed me!" *looks at the head, then drops it*

[Tar-Ancalime]

*shrugs her shoulers*

oh well

*magically washes out stain*

[greypilgrim]

"What's a man got to do in here to get him some meat-and-veggies! I walked far to get here, and have killed another patron already!" *kicks the head away*
"Respectfully, I'm displeased with the customer service."
*takes a big sip of that 4footer--->Ahhhh.*
*Agar goes over to Arrianne* "May I borrow a knife? I won't kill anyone you know with it, hopefully!" *smiles at you*
*grabs the knife, "ARH!" *throws the knife through the air, it passes through 6 bodies, then lands in a dart board, bulls-eye*
"Is that good enough??"

[Azog]

Azog, having seen the nice throw walks over to Agar.

"How about you and I have a drinking contest?"

Azog orders a beer and sits a few stools away from Agar.

"Arianne, can ya get me another of those mugs?"

[greypilgrim]

Agar notices that Azog at least had SOME manners. "I will drink with you" he said.

*admires the craftsmanship of those mugs. Agar takes a sip, then remembers HIS manners, ands holds out the mug for a toast, 2ft away from Azog.*

Agar is disgusted by the smell and the other obviously unpleasantness of Azog's presence close to him, but will definately show the proper respect towrds one so evil.*

[greypilgrim]

*cheers!*
Agar drinks the whole mug in one gulp without swallowing, down the hatch.....down the front of me a little too. Somebody served the meat-pie w/vegetables meanwhile... *Ahhhh* "Burp."

[Tuilin]

Tuilin enters and fights her way to an empty table and waits for some wait-yrch to come quickly! *drums claws at table and burnes a napkin while waiting*

[greypilgrim]

Agar grabs another (4-ft. tall!) mug-'o-beer from Tar and heads over to Tuilin's table.
"If you are not against company, I will drink with you!"
*collars a yrch-waiter* "Get her the finest drink here! Can't you see she's been waiting?"
*sits down at the table*
"So Tuilin, you are a fire-starter, eh? Ahhh, we can have some fun!"...*looks around then whispers something into Tuilin's ear*...
"Shhh, let's play a joke! heheh, You like jokes?"
*grins wickedly at her...*

[Tuilin]

*finishes her mug-o-wine and grins back*
"You seem to have some kind of a plan or what...Heh?"

[greypilgrim]

"HAH! Of course! I am chock-full of plans! Some great, and some smaller, and some that are not so great..."
*sticks a napkin in the trousers of a passing orc-waiter, lights it, and watches the stupid orc run in circles trying to put out the flames. He only makes it worse, and he catches on fire and runs out the door screaming*
"heh heh heh...." Agar grins at Tuilin. *sips my mug*
"Do you like to play with fire?"

[Vixen Evenstar]

*a dark shadow slinks in and stands at the back to observe the goings on*

[Tuilin]

"Play with fire fire? Fire IS a game."
*orders another mug o hot wine and a meal*
"So, while I eat you might wanna tell me one of your plans, a good one preferably.
When Im finished eating, Ill might use my own braincells aswell."

[greypilgrim]

Tuilin, what kind of being/RPG character do you control? Or are you just you? Just wondering:confused:
:D I got plans that are jokes

*Agar watches the hungry Tuilin person eat. He decides to not start a conversation yet, since she would have to talk with her mouth full, not something that he wants to see just now*:D

EDIT_None of them are serious...:rolleyes:

[Tuilin]

"Mright mow mim jjus bmiing me."

[Vixen Evenstar]

*there appears to be no more talk for awhile...so Vixen takes a seat at a nearbye table, she pushes her hood back and settles back in the chair.*

[greypilgrim]

*Agar beckons Vixen over to his table, with Tuilin eating there*

"Now I had just said that I had plans that were jokes and some that were serious............and I had been misunderstood I believe.

NONE OF MY JOKES ARE SERIOUS!!! ONLY THE PLANS!!!!

The plans I referred to concerned the Dark Legion..."

*orders a very very LARGE mug of water*
Can't even describe how refreshing the water tastes...

[Vixen Evenstar]

*Vixen gives him a look that clearly says she has NO idea what in the world he's talking about*

[Wonko The Sane]

*Arianne wakes up in the corner, her head reeling from one too many shots of some none-to-pleasant liquor. She groggily stands up, shakes her black hair about her shoulders, stretches, and then seemingly back to her old self resumes her place behind the bar. She takes a moment to rub the sleeve of her black leather bodysuit with a clean cloth before she resumes serving and filling orders.*

[greypilgrim]

Agar gets up and walks out the front door, carrying Vixen with him. He looks over his shoulder at Arianne and winks, "Seeya!"

[Vixen Evenstar]

OOC: hmmm..how did Agar manage that!??:D

[Wonko The Sane]

*Arianne doesn't even pay him notice as he walks out the door with Vixen over his shoulder.*

"Whatever. Don't forget to pay your tab!" *She calls out without turning around to look.*

*She goes back to yelling at the wait-yrchs and slapping towells at people as she serves them drinks.*

[Vixen Evenstar]

OOC: Weird...throwing around my rp character are you? hmmm....i shall have to get a fat one.

[Tar-Ancalime]

*arriane is about to slap the sleeping tar(who did order a drink) but tar grabs the towel and throws it to Snag, wherever he is*

[Wonko The Sane]

Arianne grins and makes no effort to snatch the towell back from the grinning orc.

"This might be fun!" she says as she winks at Tar.

[Wonko The Sane]

Snarling from the shadows the grim visage of a hideous female Orc emerges. Skaishásh her name is, and fell is her appearance. Her eyes, rife with diabolic intent burn a hole into a short orc across the room. He glares uneasily at her and her eyes narrow as she stares back, their yellow-green fire flaring menacingly. Her eyes are set close together above a wide nose into which two small, shiny metal hoops have been driven, obviously precious metals plundered from some dwarf or elf. Her lips are thin and curled back over sharp slavering fangs, a crude sort of smile plays across her villanious features as she continues to stare at the skinny orc in the corner, running her red tongue over her cracked lips. Her skin is leathery, thick, and grey, pulled tight over her sharp boned face. She has a high forhead, terminating in thick, wavy tangles of greasy black hair, a small bone poking out from the mess, perhaps stuck there to chew on later. Her sneer darkens as she watches the short Uruk scan her body up and down. She is tall for an Orc, but short for most other species. She stands at 5'4", her legs only slightly bow legged, her back straight. She has long arms, rough tempered skin, taut over the thick muscles and sinew of her body. Her shoulders are not broad, but are strong, her muscles etched in stark relief through the tight grey skin. Her legs are well defined, each muscle throbbing with a life all its own as she stands, always at the ready, always near to striking. She carries no weapons, and though a slave has lost none of her fire. Her body is a well capable weapon, and the smaller orc shifts uneasily as he watches her legs flexing, as if she's about to pounce. She wears a metal band on her arm, shiny and polished like the rings through her nose, and pointed ears. And over her torso she wears a dirty, stained black leather tunic,sleeveless, and made of a soft suede, but tough nonetheless. It is cinched at her waist with a leather thong, and hangs to mid-thigh. As the smaller orc's inspecting gaze travels back to Skaishásh's face her gaze grows from menacing to self-satisfied, her yellow green eyes glowing with a secret knowledge. Her fanged grin smug. Her eyes darken as she sesnse his fear and alarmed the short orcling spins around to look behind him. Nobody is there, but when he returns his glare at her, Skaishásh has disappeared.