The Burning Chicken Inn

[Snaga]

The Burning Chicken is the first unhomely house, a meeting place of all the most untrustworthy and in fact downright evil peoples of Middle Earth.

From above the door hangs a sign that creaks in the wind, and it shows a chicken, with its head chopped off, running through the night with its feathers ablaze.

Inside the bar is open 24 hours a day, serving every drink you have ever heard of, a good number you have never heard of, and even some that if you drank, you would never be heard of it again.

Snaga pushes his way through the door, and orders a double vodka with ice. 'How about some music?'

[YayGollum]

*Truor stomps in, finds a seat at the bar, and lets his shield fall to the greasy floor* "This looks like my kinda place! Got any vodka and fish here?"

[chrysophalax]

Artos Wolfhame enters and after peering into the gloomy depths, sees Snaga bellied up the bar. Walking over, he greets him and scratches Irontooth behind the ears. Whistling he calls his 4 lovelies in and soon all 5 wolves are wrestling on the floor. "So my friend, nice place! Inn-keeper! Bring us each a bottle of whatever this lout's drinking!"

[Telchar]

Tel walks in and sits down.. "Give me a Whiskey!" A glass is put infront of him.. "Forget the glass, give me the bottle.." he says.. "Cheers!"

[Khamul]

Drygo, the DJ, and official drink server sends Artos a bottle of the finest well, maybe not the finest, urukweiser this side of the pub. "Enjoy, the bathroom is behind the corner." Drygo casually asks Artos to sign a small waiver, that doesnt hold the BC liable for any delusions of war caused by the swallowing of any substance.

Drygo turns on the newest cd by Razghash. Entitled, "Torture mix 5."

[Snaga]

Snaga having drunk his vodka a bit too fast, dances. He has natural rhythm!:D

[Ecthelion]

Nain walks in and sits by all the others who enetred. "2 strawberry dacre's please Drygo." He turns to Artos, Telchar, and Yay and says "So you all are here in the Dark Legion bar, but never were you seen in the first part of the war. Do any of you think of making the scene when it restarts?" Nain also laughs at Snaga. While waiting for an answer Nain gets up with his dacre and walks to a closet. He pulls out a limbo bar and 2 poles. He sets it up and Nain and Snaga start doing the limbo.

[Snaga]

After a short while the alcohol wears off and Snaga realises what he is doing.

'Fine friends you lot are!' he says. 'You should stop me from making a fool of myself like that!'

He orders a pint and a steak. 'I want it rare, very rare. In fact don't bother cooking it at all!'

[Khamul]

Drygo hands Snaga a tiny piece of raw meat, and walks off casually.

[Snaga]

Snaga shouts after Drygo 'Don't I get a plate? How about a knife and fork? And what about some fries on the side? What sort of place is this?!'

[chrysophalax]

Artos turns to Nain and says "As long as somebody's willing to pay for my services, I'm all for war. Right now though I'm just here for the , uh, entertainment." He gestures at Snaga. "That was some floor-show by the way, you oughta take that on the road!"

[Snaga]

Snaga shrugs at Artos, and says 'I was as surprised as you were, I can tell you! How about I get you a drink? What would you like? That's if I can get some service in here,' he says raising his voice in a pointed manner at Drygo. 'And you call that a steak???'

He turns to Telchar. 'I was thinking of asking you to make me a new scimitar. What do you say?'

[Ecthelion]

"Yes, that was some good dancing and limboing there Snaga." Nain continued drinking his dacre until one of the wolves kept licking his leg. "Stop it." Nain said, but the wolf didn't. So Nain thought maybe the wolf was thirsty so he gave it a sip of dacre. Well it stopped licking and started dancing around the room on it's back paws. Every so often he came back to Nain and Nain gave him another sip.

[chrysophalax]

Glaring at Nain Artos growled "Stop making the wolf drunk. They aren't very pleasant company later on.." Turning back to Snaga (who had secretly been slipping another of the wolves some vodka) he said "Sure, I'll take an ale." He then sent the wolves outside before they started tearing the place up.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar entered looked and nodded,so it's not the most upscale place in the world ,she thought and took a seat at the bar. the crowd was mostly the same, all people whom desired the best service that one can get in an evil restraunt. One thing to be sure, it was a bar of ill-repute. Prostitutes from the brothels around that city would come and give any paying customer a good time. Tar herself was dressed nicely,besides the dark queen never looked anything but classy. she had on a V-neck black and burgundy dress that fell near her ankles. It was not that revealing so she didn't feel like the numerous harlots flaunting around the bar.She sought out Snaga1 and saw him talking with nain and sat down near the two.

[Ecthelion]

Nain turned to Tar "Great to see you m'lady. It's to bad you missed the dancing and limboing. Would you care for a drink?"

[Turgon]

Serewing stumbled into the bar with a wench upon each arm and a garland of blood-red roses thrust upon his head. He was in a merry mood. 'Hola ye pampered jades of Mornclaur!' he yelled as he saw the assembled throng. He made his way cautiously to the bar, the floor swaying beneath him like a ship in a storm. It soon became apparent that the wenches were giving Serewing more than just moral support - as he learched sideways knocking one of them into the wolf pack. Making a mad grab for the bar, he managed to right himself and pull himself into an upright position. 'I want the finest wines available to humanity!' he said. Then, ever so slowly, Serewing slid to the floor.

[Khamul]

Drygo, getting iritated at the unruly company. kicks all the hoars(am I allowed to say that?) out of the establishment. "That seems like a good start. Any other suggestions for getting this place fixed up?"

[Turgon]

Serewing got to his feet and dusted himself down. He looked more than a little nonplussed at the barkeeper's actions - maybe this wasn't his kind of place after all. An unhomely house that doesn't allow wenches? Why it doesn't bare thinking about!

Stumbling out of the Burning Chicken he made his way unsteadily down the street, back to the Burning Itch, where he'd been having such a good time just a few hours before.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar looked at nain,"indeed i would, and i must say this is a ....different bar...look at the customers." said she.

[Telchar]

Tel turns towards Snaga, "Sure.. But think you'll have to wait until tomorrow, i'm in no condition to do anything no, except drink more.. Cheers! Want to share a bottle of JD No 7, on second thought, we'll take one each.. Bottums up?"

[Ecthelion]

"What's wrong with the customers?" Nain asked, he glanced down at Serewing and said "Ok, don't answer that. What would you like a pint? Or maybe a dacre? The dacre's here are good. By the way I am glad to see you did not turn yourself into a hooker. Although I will admit that might have been pretty funny(no offense just a joke:) ). Any idea if there will be a blood heir to the dark throne or will it be out of best intrest?" Nain asked as he sipped his dacre which was his 4th.

[YayGollum]

*after never getting his v&f, Truor turns to Nain* "I wasn't in the war because there wasn't anything I could get out of it. Why not just let people deal with their own problems?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar said to nain just after sipping her martini (she doesn't drink that beer stuff)," In my mind it's not out of the picture but i cannot go along until my dear husband returns"

[Khamul]

Drygo sends a messanger after Serewing. 'Them wenches is in the back. Help thyself.'

Drygo sends his little orc-child (dont ask) to send YG some v&f.

[YayGollum]

*forgets about Nain again and tries to find a quiet corner for him and his v&f*

[Ecthelion]

Nain sees Yay in corner sipping his drink and chewing fish muttering something about him and precious dominating the world and having fish forever or something like that. He turns back to Tar "So what's it like being the Queen of Darkness? Also, any music you want to listen to. Maybe Weezer, or the Macerana? Possibly the YMCA? Another dacre please Drygo and don't send that orc child or I'll get Tar to fry him, he smells funny."

[Turgon]

Serewing re-entered the Chicken, he had sobered up a little by now. Walking over to Drygo, he tipped him a wink. 'Got any of that orc-brew my good fellow? Developed quite a taste for it, you know?'

Then a strange scent caught his attention - pointing to where Truor was sitting, the Corsair asked. 'And what's that fellow drinking, smells interesting... I'll try one of those too...'

[YayGollum]

*sees Nain looking at him strangely and tries to ignore it* to Serewing ---> "Oh, yeah. You'll love this stuff! Everybody likes raw fish in their drinks!"

[Turgon]

'Ah, Raw fish! Quite a delicacy where I come from. Well I'll try anything once. If, as you say, everybody is drinking it... then what harm can it do?'

Serewing took a long swig of one of these new fangled v&fs (he'd been out of touch for a long time...) 'Osse's Beard!' he yelled. 'What a kick! Hey Drygo - you sure that fish was dead?'

[Khamul]

Drygo chuckles and casually responds, "Did I hear you request a dead fish? If you dont like it, you cant sue, so what can you do? (Not supposed to rhyme, but you know how it is)

[Ecthelion]

"Well unless m'lady objects Drygo please put this into the boom box." Nain hands him the new Weezer cd Maladroit. Nain thanks him and nods his head to the music as he says "You like Weezer Tar?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"oh I most enjoy weezer! and being the queen of darkness is not as adventerous as you think. Sure you have innumerable lands, you recieve great respect and all that stuff. But really it's just a normal life." she said to nain

[Ecthelion]

"Hhhhmmmmm intresting," Nain listens to the lyrics "I got my hash pipe..."
"Hey Drygo get me a steak, you know what give me what Snaga got only with forks, knives and a plate, anything for you TAr?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"no thank you nain, I ate before i came." she said to nain. Tar then briefly looked around. What customers, harlots, drunkards, and orcs.

[Ecthelion]

"Well suit yourself." That annoying smelly orc child brought the food, Nain took it unwillingly and began to eat, but first he said to Tar "Please Tar fry him. I always wanted to see you do it and he smells bad! PLEASE!?"

[chrysophalax]

Artos, finding himself once again invisible, skulks away to atable in the coner, the corner away from the man with the disgustingly smelly drink. He thinks to himself that he's never seen his friend Serewing quite so...laid back? *so to speak*

[Khamul]

Drygo steps forward in Nain's direction. "If you fry the kid, you're going to get your a.. burned off."

[Khamul]

Drygo turns and walks away towards Artos, and asks "You seem rather lonely, can I get anything for ya'"

[chrysophalax]

Artos glances up at Drygo and shrugs, "Sure. Ale sounds good."

He glared at Nain darkly, his thoughts turning bloody. An evil grin curls his lip and he whistles for his wolves. In a flurry of claws and fangs they surround him. He whispers to them and they turn, snarling at Nain who immediately begins back-pedalling. "Tough luck, Nain. Looks like they've mistaken you for a Hobbit!"

[YayGollum]

*Truor Tupnm (not Yay) leans back and watches the fun, glad that Nain decided not to have any v&f*

[Khamul]

Drygo brings Artos some ale, while purposely ignoring the embarassed Dwarf.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar by that point was hysterically laughing,"Nain I see that you need improvement on your people skills." she said gleefully. Nain was turning a bright shade of Cherry-red.

[Ecthelion]

Nain stopped and started laughing himself. He said a spell and soon a dead female wolf for each male of Artos's wolves. They all ran to the back ok the pub and much howling was heard for an hour or 2.:rolleyes: Next 6 dead wolves came in, three went to Artos in the corner. They eyed him then one ran at him in the blink of an eye and pulled his pants of and ran away. The other ran to Drygo and did the same. Nain sat back down with Tar laughing. Artos and Drygo were bothe stunned in embaressment. The other wolves sat by Nain, just in case;) . "I guess I do need to work with people skills." He turned to Drygo and Artos and said "Tried to get the first laugh on my aye? Looks like it turned out for the worst for you." Nain turned back around to Tar laughing.

[Khamul]

Lets play Nain style:

Drygo summons a Middle Earth sized meteor to fall on the helpless Nain. Too bad Nain has no powers over huge rocks.:( Buh-bye.

You can control living creatures? I thought your services were only available to those in the shadow world. You sure have alot of powers for a newly instigated necromancer with no one to teach you it's ways.

[Khamul]

"Hmm, I see that one of the male wolves is taking a little too much of a liking to you Nain." Drygo looks away in disgust and mutters "Stupid wanna-be tark trying to impress Dark Queens. "Wait, I forgot Nain is dead, maybe I can change it back to the torture mix cd. What does the rest of Inn's customers think?"

[chrysophalax]

Artos leaves momentarily to retrieve an extra set of breeches from his horse's pack. He is mortified that even someone such as Nain would treat his wolves in such a manner. "Dead wolves indeed." he muttered under his breath. He resumed his seat with his wolves lying at his feet.

[Ecthelion]

Unfortunately, meteor's don't hit just one person and don't stay in one piece. The meteor smashes Nain, but obviously Tar and Snaga sitting right next to him would durely die too. Also It would explode on impact destroying the Inn ans everyone in it. So if you want to delete all posts about anyone doing something to someone else we can dp that, or we can all be dead and have no Inn/Bar. Great job Drygo! Btw, my Dad is Dain, a Necromancer, you may not know it, but he teaches me, also there's an invention, it's called books...................

[Snaga]

Snaga stands up and pulls the plug on the sound system. Then he makes an announcement:

'OK folks, this is the Dark Legion pub, so while it is Drygo who runs it, I am in charge of the Dark Legion while the Dark Lord is away. So I will lay down some rules.

1. No use of magic for any violent purposes
2. No killing, or attacking of members, or their servants, followers or creatures
3. No undead of any kind are permitted. (Health regulations!)

So everyone chill out and try and get along OK?'

[Ecthelion]

They started it.................:D

[Ciryaher]

The bullies of the North, Jahrdur and Ervurkea come crashing through the doorway locked together in a tussle.

"It's mine, you pale-faced tark!" Jahrdur shouted, with much flying of spittle.

"Damn you, swerting! I saw it first!" Ervurkea fired back with an elbow to the Southron's gut.

They wrestled over the unseen object for some time, knocking over chairs and tables before they punched eachother squarely in the face and tottered backwards with much calamity.

They stood and Jahrdur held a little piece of string with a plain rock dangling from the end. "Got it!"

"Agh! You trickster!" Ervurkea grinned and clapped the other on the back as they both sat down smiling broadly. "Got any saki?" he asked the bartender.

[Khamul]

Fine......

Drygo ignores the ridiculous statement by Nain, and serves Ervurkea his saki.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar rolls her eyes, then adds to mental list of things she's just seen that truly bewilder her. Two grown men fighting like dogs infected with rabie's over a plain rock. she gulps down the rest of her martini in hopes she may just pass out.

[Ecthelion]

"Well that was intresting." Nain walks out and comes back in a few minuites later dragging a pool table in to the bar. He sets it up in an empty spot to the right of the pub and asks ''Anyone up for a game?"

[Turgon]

'Hey Jahdur! How are you doing you old pirate? Good to see you again!' Serewing untangles himself from the knot of wolves at Artos' table and walks over to greet the mighty Haradan. 'Hey, I see you've got one of those new-fangled stones on a string - you always were a trend-setter! This calls for a celebration - drinks all round!'

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar looked at the lowlife scum who associated themselves with this bar. she shook her head, but she stayed anyway,the house was dull with all her husbands brooding and thinking.They had seperate rooms and then they had a room for the both of them if they were in the mood, he hadn't gone to that bedroom for both of them for weeks. so the house was quiet, his door was generally locked. She sighed and walked up to the bar and asked,"Drygo, do you have a drink for bored people here?"

[Snaga]

'Hey Drygo!' Snaga said. 'Perhaps we should do something to make this place more congenial for our queen. Any ideas? I thought we could open up the front to get some of the sea breeze in, since we happen to be on the sea-front at Umbar. We seem to be getting all the sailors in anyway... I think her majesty might prefer a tropical cocktail bar to a spit 'n' sawdust brawlers tavern. What do you think?'

(OK... so I just decided a location...:D)

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur looks at Tar and points to the rock. "'Tis no ordinary stone, Your Highness. This is a nirri stone that gives its bearer good luck! It's a custom where I grew up to have friendly matches to win the stone...maybe it's "uncivilized" to you, since you're a *Northerner*."

Ervurkea nodded and drank his saki, tipping the bartender generously. "Keep 'em coming."

The southron now turned his attention to Serewing. "Hey, there, sea-dog! I know you envy my stone on a string, but you can't have it!" he grinned, "Get your own!" He gave the smaller man a friendly punch on the shoulder, accidentally sending him reeling backwards.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar looked disdainfully at Jahrdur,"sir, i find such occultic things childish." she said and waited to get drygo's attention

[Ecthelion]

"No ones up for pool? Ok." Nain sits back down with Snaga and Tar and orders another dacre. Nain pulls out a deck of cards from his pocket and asks "Anyone up for a rousing game of Poker or maybe Ginn Rumy?"

[Khamul]

Drygo calmly walks over to the Queen and asks, "What can I do for ya'. Your Lordship?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"i'd like a cosmopolitan Drygo," she said to the barkeep.after the bar keep gave tar her drink she walked back to the table with Snaga and Nain.

[chrysophalax]

Artos raises his tankard to Snaga in thanks. At least now his lovelies won't be molested further by the pub's occupants....

[Snaga]

I play poker.

* Grabs deck and shuffles beautifully but casually. Offers the deck to Nain to cut, and then holds it aloft, ready to deal *

Who's in...? Aces high, one-eyed jacks wild, single draw. Everyone's who playing: ante up...

* Throws a gold ducat on the table *

[Ecthelion]

Nain tosses a jewel the size of a quarter in the middle and looks at his cards.

OOC:How do we know who wins?

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar looks at the size of the jewel thrown, she is amazed she has never seen anything so beautiful,but she reminds herself she's the dark queen she can get anything she wants. But still she stares longingly at the shimering work of art

[Ecthelion]

"Oh, I see you like it Tar." Nain tosses something to her. She catches it and looks at it in amazment. It is a sparkly red jewel the size of a half-dollar. So anyone else in?"

[chrysophalax]

From his vantage point in the corner, Artos watches the Dark Queen. "Surely her intelligence is as devastating as her beauty? She must be able to see right through his offer." he thinks as he calls for another ale.

[Khamul]

Drygo walks over to the card game, mainly to make sure that Nain is not given Erebor because of this despicable act of attempted bribery.

[Snaga]

Snaga leans over, and says to Tar-Ancalime: 'Allow me, my queen.' He takes the jewel from her.

Then he turns to Nain. 'How dare you toss your jewels about in such a manner and hope to dishonour our queen? Well you will not see it again, except as a necklace for our queen. But it will not be your gift. Instead the jewel will be payment for this insult. Any good I thought of you for your support in the war will be quickly wiped out if you behave like this.

Then he hands it to Telchar. 'Telchar, your folk are known as the finest craftsmen in all Middle Earth. I would like to commission you to make a necklace for our beautiful queen, as a token of the friendship between Mornclaur and Zirak Khazad.'

[Ecthelion]

"It was no act of bribery. Or at least if that's what it sounded like please, I beg you forgive me. I was hoping for that to turn out as a simple gesture of kindess."

OOC: I am serious I had no intention of it sounding like bribery. I need to watch my words better.............. Also I edited mine so can you guys edit yours?

[Khamul]

"Let this be a reminder to you. Your words have gotten you into trouble twice. I would watch your tongue more closely."

[Ecthelion]

"I will make sure I don't say anything like, Drygo you......." Nain grabs his own tounge. "That was close. So who's in on cards?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar looked kindly at Snaga," Oh! Snaga you are a most faithful servant, the most honorable of orcs." she said."Nain, you are a fool! I risk my neck for yoou in batle and you give me this as if you could care who you were giving it to. YOu are falling off my list of favor." Tar grew kinda forbdoding and nain kinda gulped fearing the worst. Then she turneed normal

[Snaga]

Snaga deals the cards: five to Nain and five for himself.

Nain has the jack of diamonds (appropriately enough), and 8, 9, 10 and jack of clubs.

Snaga looks at his cards, impassively.

'Ok Nain, bet first, then we can change cards if we like, and then we bet again. Get it? Good. OK... what do you want to bet?'

[chrysophalax]

Artos wonders when he's going to get the ale he asked for...

[Khamul]

Drygo quickly sends the orc-child over to Artos while he is giving the wolves some fresh Urukweiser.

[Ecthelion]

Nain mutters to himself "Why me why me why me." He says he's feeling lucky and asks for one(he trades in his jack of diamonds). He puts in a smaller diamond about the size of a nickel.

OOC:C'mon people I already told that that wasn't the gesture I meant. Trust me, if you knew me personally you would know I am not like that, and I try to keep my personality like my characters. Do you want me to delete that post? Never give it to you? What, tell me?

[chrysophalax]

Seeing that Nain is starting to sweat, Artos saunters over to watch the card-game. He leans against the wall, scratching Irontooth behind the ears.

[Ecthelion]

OOC: The first time I read that last post I thought it said Ironfoot not Irontooth. Good thing I re-read it;)

IC: Nain wipes the sweat from his brow and forhead and waits for his card.

[Khamul]

Drygo walks over behind Nain, and then goes and whispers into Snaga's ear.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar watches in intrest(since she is not playing). Men risking things in game of chance how delighful to watch

[Snaga]

Snaga deals him a card, and then throws in a couple of gold ducats.

He draws three.

Nain turns over his card to reveal... the ten of spades.

'OK Nain... place your bet!'

[Ecthelion]

Nain isn't feeling lucky so..........he folds. He takes back the winnings that he gave for the cheating going on in this bar. He glanced and Drygo. "So what's next? Bingo? Limbo?"

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur and Ervurkea watch the card game with grins.

The Southron leans over and whispers to the other in the jaw-cracking tongue of the Deep South.

Ervurkea spits out his drink and falls to the floor laughing wildly.

[chrysophalax]

Two of Artos' wolves immediately pounce on the hapless Southron and begin wrestling with him, growling and whining as they playfully shred his cloak. Artos looks on indulgently, hoping that this time they'll stop short of actual blood-shed.

[Ecthelion]

The rest in the bar turn and watch the fight. Nain quickly starts asking bets? "Ok that's 3 gold peices on the wolf and 3 on the Southron any more bets. C'mon folks keep them coming(If you want in say who you think will win and bet!").

[Snaga]

Snaga laughs out loud at Nain, and takes the pot. Then he throws his hand down... a pair of threes.

'Never mind Nain, you could have won with your pair of tens! You need some courage. Drygo, get a very large rum for this dwarf. You're in the greatest port in Middle Earth... so you can drink like sailor tonight my lad!'

Then he catches a look from Tar-Ancalime.

'OK... I know... that was a bad move wasn't it? How about I get you a drink too? Ever tried a Hurricane?'

He gives instructions to Drygo:

1 shot Malibu
1 shot Captain Morgan's
1 shot light rum
1 shot orange juice
1 shot cranberry juice

Blend ingredients in shaker with ice. Serve on the rocks with orange wheel, cherry and float of Bacardi 151.

'I tell you what Drygo... make one for everyone here!'

[Ecthelion]

"Alchlohal!Alchlohal!Alchlohal!" Nain started chanting as he finished his 6th dacre and waited for his rum and hurricane. "Bring it on!"

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur wonders why exactly the two dogs pounced on him, but not letting any filthy animal beat him out, he clutches the wolves' necks with his giant hands and deftly crushes their larynxes.

"Hmm...Ervurkea, did you do that?" he asks, collecting the tatters of his cloak and throwing them on the dead wolves.

The bearded northman scratched his head, "You know I don't deal with animals," he said, then yelled, "Alright, what dirty trickster set their mutts on my minutely challenged friend here? Come on, fess up!"

[Ecthelion]

Nain after chugging his ale says werily "That one right there," HE points at Artos, "All 5 of 'em."

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur grins, then taps the wolves' foreheads. For some strange reason, they stand up (rather dazed) and stumble back to their master.

"Artos, you keep your dogs under your thumb or they'll get a thumb in the rear, next time," he says with a wink.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Snaga i'll go for hurricane...I am always keen on trying new drinks." Tar said with a grin.

[Ecthelion]

"I like to drinking anything as long as I can have lotz and it tastez gooooooooooood." He turns to Tar and says "Wow Tary-wary I didn't know you waz a twin, why don'tz you introuze me to thiz lady."

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar sees this drunken form called nain, she beconed a whore over and told her to get him a room.

[Ecthelion]

Nain comes out a while later not drunk and waes goodbye to the as he reffered to her 'the pretty lady'. He walked backed to Tar and said "Thank you fpr giving me the pleasure of having that fun with 'the pretty lady'. Did you by chance catch her name. Oh well. By the way. I am sorry about the whole stone inccident. If you want it can be tossed over there." Nain pointed to he fireplace. "Or if your in a mischeivious mood we can feed it to one of those wolves, or you can just toss it at something, or it might make a good parchment weight, or possibly you could use it to buff up as a weight? Hm............never new there were so many things you can do with a big jewel..............."

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Nain as soon as you said there were two of me..I figured it'd be best if you get some rest...well sort of...and all is forgiven...I'm still making it into a necklace to go with my new burgundy dress that I bought at the Von Maur complex in Ruhn.." TAr said

[Ecthelion]

"They have stores in Rhun! Wow! I should go there some time. Any good boot shops? So Tar, I was wondering.............." He finished the rest of the sentance in a whisper so oly Tar heard(pm).

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Rhun has become highly developed recently since the creation of my seaside resort.It's the most lovely place, It has classical architecture, a terrace that overlooks the inland sea, hunting grounds,a spa, and many other luxurious features. And i believe we do have a boot shop although I don't recall the name." then tar whispers the answer to nain's request (Pm).

[Ecthelion]

"Wow sounds expensive. I need a new horse, somebody killed mine. Any stable shops? I ought to go there and relax.............what a word. I got an idea!" Nain leaves Tar for a bit and comes back in a bathing suit pushing an electronic spa into the bar right by the bar. Nain slips in. "Thanks for the idea Tar.";)

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Maybe I put on the wrong impreession...this resort is for the members of the royal family and trusted servants or invited geusts. Come uninvited and face the inevitable consequeces." she said haughtily

[Ecthelion]

"Oh well, I got my spa right here! And a good veiw of the ocean!" He looked out the window. "So what about a place that sells horses?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Not to my knowledge but we do have a Cheescake factory restraunt....Rhun is a tad more upper class than here." Tar continued

[Ecthelion]

"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeecak e........" Nain muttered. He snapped out of it finally. "Well that's neat. Any other places you've remodled?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"There is a marina for boating.Although not many of mornclaur's soldiers/citizens enjoy the finer things in life." Tar added

[Ecthelion]

"I know I like the finer things in life. Alchlohol, freinds, family, money, alchlohol, power, and alchlohol. Man this sure is a nice hot tub." Nain cranks up the bubbles so that the spa starts to buble like a burning caludron. Nain lets out a sigh of relief.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"I meant things like maybe Opera, or more cultured things for indeed thier is an art to power." Tar said than left do to the smell let out of Nain's arse

[Ecthelion]

Nain chuckled. He had wondered how long a dark queen could stand it it. He turned off the spa and pushed it into a corner. He went in the back, dried off, redressed, and came back out. "Sorry about that Tar. It was a cozy spa though."

OOC: Ok what a night I am off to bed, that was like 50 posts for me tonight. That was like a chat with Tar, but it was fun. Goodbye until tomorrow.

[Tar-Ancalime]

ooc:I'm just gifted

ic:Tar looked at nain and said ,"It's okay nain."

[Ecthelion]

OOC: OG me and Tar! We added about a page and 1/2 to this thread last night! GO US!:D

[chrysophalax]

Artos is enraged by Jahrdur's senseless killing of his wolves. "They were just having a bit of sport! They wouldn't have hurt your brutish friend....much! Theseare my children!" His remaining wolves and Irontooth raise their hackles and start to snarl viciously at Jarhdur. "How do you propose to make restitution, or shall I just take it out of your murderous hide?"


OOC: Ciryaher, read page 4, Snaga's post of this thread again. It expressly forbids the killing of one's creatures...

***Cir requests that you read more closely and take note that your dogs were only knocked out, and there was a friendly statement to let you know it was in jest***

[Snaga]

Originally posted by Ciryaher
Jahrdur grins, then taps the wolves' foreheads. For some strange reason, they stand up (rather dazed) and stumble back to their master.

"Artos, you keep your dogs under your thumb or they'll get a thumb in the rear, next time," he says with a wink. At this Snaga wakes up suddenly, having previous nodded off as Nain and Tar-Ancalime chatted away merrily. It had been a long day. He yawns stretches and looks around a bit blearily.

'I will let Jahdhur stay this time on the basis that the wolves seem to have made a miraculous recovery. But you better stop them jumping on people, Artos. Not everyone appreciates wolf-saliva on their face, or so I hear.'

[chrysophalax]

"I should think that people who didn't wouldn't frequent a place like this then!" said Artos testily. Glaring at Jahrdur, he crouched down among his wolves letting them lick his face. "Now what was that about drinks being on you Snaga?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar got bored of talking with Nain so she bent down and began to pet the wolves behind the ears.

[Ecthelion]

Nain yawned and sat in his chair. He turned towrads the tv and flipped it on. He turned to Mtv and started watching his fav show, The Osbournes!

[Snaga]

Snaga accidentally throws the TV out of the window and into the sea in surprise.

'Sure Artos... have a Hurricane. Be careful though. Tar and Nain each had one, and found themselves becoming much more friendly. I hope you can hold your drink!'

[Ecthelion]

Nain sat in his seat dumbfounded. Eventually he turned to Snaga and asked in an awkward voice "Why?" He sat staring at Snaga until he would answer.

OOC:'Accidently'? Suuuuuuuuurrrrrrrreeeeeee:D

[Snaga]

'Stop staring Nain, that box has gone now. You can look away!'

He sits down with Tar, and says: 'I had an idea. How would you like to be patron of the Royal Circus of Mornclaur? A circus show would be fun I think. We have some very well trained oliphaunts, a few acrobats etc... what do you think?'

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Snaga the idea sounds marvelous!" Tar said with exuberance.

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur sighs and sits down in a corner. "There's naught for a Haradrim to do these days...Bloody unfriendly bars!" he shouts and crosses his treestump-like arms over his chest.

His companion from Rhun nodded. "Indeed," he said, paying more attention to his saki.

[Ecthelion]

Nain keeps staring at Snaga and hears about the Circus idea. He chimmed in and said "If you want, I could stuff my shirt and be the bearded lady!:D j/k. I can be the dwarven cannonball!Yea!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Snaga you should let nain be the human canon ball then if the launcher person messes up there would be no more nain." Tar said with a devilish grin.

[Ecthelion]

"I think Tar would make a perfect bearded lady, now where to get the beard..................Tar, don't shave for awhile ok?;)

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Funny Nain... very funny." tar says as she rolls her eyes at nains immaturity.

[Snaga]

'We will need someone to be the Worlds Strongest Man,' says Snaga. 'Hey! Jahdhur, you look like you might have what it takes. Why not try arm-wrestling this dwarf?' he says, indicating Nain.

[Ecthelion]

"Ok lets go Jahdhur." Nain pulls a chair out to the table and extends his arm and puts his elbow on the table.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar bets 20 on Jahdur

[Ecthelion]

OOC: Thanks alot Tar for the support!:)

IC: Jahdur and Nain lock up. They are at a stand still for awhile and soon Nain cracks and can't take anymore Jahdur slams Nain's fist on the table. Nain squeaks out "Ouch."

[chrysophalax]

At the mention of a circus, Artos looks worriedly at his wolves, whistled to them and told them to make themselves scarce, although the one who's ears the Dark Queen had been scratching looked at him and snarled irritably, then slunk outside.

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur grins. "Excellent show, Master Nain," he says, then pat's Nain's arm and makes a baby-like noise. The large man winks and eats some peanuts.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar clapped for Jahdurs preformance and the oncommng circus

[Khamul]

Drygo, returning after a very long nap, begins to hand out the drinks.

[Ecthelion]

"So when will the circus start? Also can I have another hurricane Drygo?"

[Balrog Bob]

Suddenly loud pounding footsteps can be heard outside of the Bar...and then the door burst open and is left hanging at it's hinges.

Balrog Bob enters.

He takes a seat at the bar

"GIVE ME A BOTTLE OF JACK DANIELS!"

A bottle is slid across the counter, in which the Balrog chugs down in less than a minute.

He then pulls out a cigarette and begins to blow smoke in the faces of everyone who passes near him.

Feeling the "urge", Balrog Bob trods to the middle of the bar floor and begins to pass wind loudly. *Ha ha!!! It's for the best. This place was starting to smell like elves, dwarves and [sniff, sniff] HUMANS!!!

[Ciryaher]

Ervurkea and Jahrdur stand behind the gastrointestinally disturbed Balrog Bob. "Ye got a problem with humans, stinky?" Jahrdur asks.

[Balrog Bob]

"Darn tootin' :D

So, what's it to you?

Oh, don't be offended. Wait... "

[Just then, Balrog Bob clinches his gut and a rumble can be heard from within. The ground shakes and quakes. All are confused. Suddenly, everyone's eyes begin to well with tears. Some question, "Is that sulfer I smell?"]

"Why of course." *Upon that, a massive eruption ensues.*

As the smoke clears, many hold on to contiousness (keeping their noses hidden from the blast-wave. Other unfortunate souls lie uncontious from the devastating aroma.

"Mwa-ha ha ha!!!!!!!!! FEEL...MY...WRAAAAATH!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

The dark queen however was not daunted by this attack and stood her ground pretty much. She rolled her eyes and sat down she glanced up at the "ferocious" balrog.

[chrysophalax]

"Snaga, Should I send for Magnus to take care of this odiferous...creature?" asked Artos in obvious disgust.

[Snaga]

Snaga sits unmoved by Bob's ill-mannered display. 'Sorry? Is there a problem? It must be this thing about being a member of a race bred in pits of Utumno surrounded by balrogs... it just doesn't bother me personally.'

Snaga goes to the front of the pub, and unlocks a couple of locks near the door. Then he pushes, and what appeared to be a solid wall turns out to be a wooden folding screen that folds up on itself, against the other side of the front of the pub. Now the whole front of the Burning Chicken is open, and a warm but refreshing sea-breeze clears the air in the pub. In front of the pub is a balcony overlooking the harbour at Umbar.

'I dont mind a dragon vs. balrog duel... but you can take it outside, and we'll sell tickets!':D

[Ecthelion]

Nain walks to the front of the pub and takes out a booth. "COme get your tickets to THE most electrifing event The Burning Chicken has EVER seen! Come one come all to the Dragon vs. Balrog duel of the century! 6 gold piecies for a ticket, 50% off your second. Yes we also sell popcorn, cotton candy, and souveniers!" Nain pulls out a little plastic balrog and a dragon on a play set fighting eachother.

[Khamul]

Drygo, since he must be sponsoring the event, suggests that the winner gets to fight Nain.

[Ecthelion]

OOC: Man you guys really hate me don't you?

IC: Nain cancels that idea with a new one. The winner can poop wherever it feels and our wonderful nice person Drygo has to clean it up.

[chrysophalax]

Artos walks over to Truor and asks him to send his raven, Shadowflaps, off to the Lonely Mountain where Magnus is currently residing. Would he accept the challenge?

[Tar-Ancalime]

TAr looks at nain and says,"oh nain I really much prefer your first brililant idea...Imagine what the world would be like with no more nain...the sun would shine brighter. The stars would be more seen and...we'd be happy. Oh i'm just joking nain you know that."

[Ecthelion]

"So Tar are you trying to say that you want to HELP Drygo in the poop scooping?! Well that's great I'll write you down;) ."

[Tar-Ancalime]

"nain you are utterly hopless, anyway I have to go." tar said and she left for her palace in Rhun.

[Ecthelion]

Behind her Tar could barely here Nain "CAN YOU BUY ME SOME BOOTS???" Nain had slipped enough money for them in Tar's horse saddle knowing she would leave from his idiocy soon.:D

[Khamul]

Drygo wonders why it is an insult to be given the honor of fighting the winner.....

[Snaga]

'Dangit Nain!' remarks Snaga. 'Have you scared Tar out of the pub? I'm not sure if I hate you exactly, but you dont seem to be good for business. Anyway I need people like you around to make me seem intelligent.'

[Ecthelion]

"Thanks Snaga! Well if I didn't scare out Tar by talking to her should would have left of boredem. So when's the fight going to start?"

[Elbereth]

Elbereth walks into the gruesome establishment and scans the room, searching. *sniffs the air*

"Ok, I know he's here somewhere. I know that foul smell from anywhere. Where is that Balrog brother of mine?"

[Balrog Bob]

**The ground suddenly begins to quake as the cloaked and dark figure of Balrog Bob appears.**

All right!!!! I know it's here somewhere. So... where is it? Huh, speak up. all of you!!!:mad:

[Balrog Bob]

Fine, if nobodies going to tell me where that Dragon is... Ahh, forget it. The important thing right no is where my baby is.

**Begins singing Chili's babyback ribs jingle** "I want my babyback, babyback, babyback - I want my babyback, babyback... ribs!! :D

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur pounds his fist on the barcounter (being suddenly hungry), then smiles sweetly. "I need some fried chicken...BARTENDER! Bring me some fried chicken, and it'd better be like momma used to cook down in Umbar, or I'll use you to uncork my bottle of wine."

[Ecthelion]

Nain leans over to Snaga and whispers "Hey can I be the 'bouncer' for the pub? I want to because I really don't like that Balrog fellow. But if you want him to stay that's fine too."

[Elbereth]

*shakes her head at both Jahrdur and Balrog Bob...then heads straight to the Balrog*

"Causing trouble again I see!!! What are you doing back on middle earth soil. I thought you were banished to the bottom of the pits of Utumno for at least another age. Great Eru will not be pleased to see your return."

Balrog Bob laughs rudely in her face...and then ignores her as he rips into his ribs noisily.

*rolls eyes*
"Fine! Just know that I will have my eye on you little brother!"

*walks over to Nain*

"Let me know if he acts up...and I'll deal with him personally."

*then takes her leave of the nasty establishment ...hoping not to have a reason to return anytime soon*

[Snaga]

Snaga looks at Nain with amusement. 'You want to try and bounce a balrog? That would be funny to watch! Haven't you read your family history? Ever heard of Durin's Bane?

'I think you are more suited to being the jester than the bouncer. Anyway, I am more like the patron than anything. If you want a job, you better ask Drygo.'

[Ecthelion]

Nain answers Snaga "JESTER! YEA!" Nain raches in his pack and pulls out one of those hats jester's wear with 3 bells on it. You know. Anyway, Nain nods his her to Elbereth as she leaves. Then Nain starts juggling rocks.

[chrysophalax]

Artos shakes his head at Nain's antics and closes his eyes, rubbing his temples slowly. "Now how did I know Nain would jump at that job?"

Shadowflaps wings his way into the bar and lands on Truor's shoulder. Artos calls out, "Well? What did the Dragon say?" Truor glances over the message and says, "He, uh, He told the Balrog-thingy to uh...." he nervously glances at the Balrog now looming over him. "Here! YOU read it!" He hands the message to Artos and runs out the door.

[YayGollum]

Sounds like something I'd do. oh well. Some other time, dudes!

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur waits for his fried chicken anddrums his fingers on the counter while Ervurkea plays a game of Death-Dominos with a small imp. The imp loses, and is promptly cloven by Ervurkea's black axe.

[Snaga]

Snaga yells: 'Drygo! Where in the name of Barad Dur are you? The man wants his chicken!'

He turns to Jahdhur: 'You just cant get the staff you know!'

[Balrog Bob]

**It is silent over by the massive Balrog. Whatever is happening now, it is not consuming food.

... It is quiet, still. Just then, inside the shrowd of the Balrog - a glowing emerges from within. Now a chanting begins to commence, from the Balrog. From beneath the shrowd of Ash, emerges its arms (now filled with many gold nuggets and diamonds). The Balrog drops the payload amongst the patrons.**

"Do what you will with it, all of you!! The dark magic I hold has brought fortune to this shabby establishment. Let's see if something good will come of it... and don't think I'm being nice, 'cuz I'm not. I just respect the lot of ya's. We're all evil-folk, right!! I'm just doing my part to pitch in. So if any of you don't like the gesture, you can all sod off!:p

[chrysophalax]

Quickly crumpling the Dragon's message and tossing it into the fire, Artos looks at the pile of glittering jewels with mild interest. "A good thing Magnus ISN'T here or there would be trouble indeed over that lot!" he thought to himself.

[Ecthelion]

"So what do we do with the jewels? Divide them evenly? Give them to the Bar for upgrade's? I bet Tar wishes she was back."

[Snaga]

Snaga says: 'That loot is Dark Legion property! Here's what we will do. Half of it can go into the Dark Legion coffers, and the rest we will divide up amongst us.'

He drags a large chest from the store room, and fills it with half of the treasure. Then he sends for some soldiers to guard it.

'By the way Bob, you are welcome here any time!:D You will be pleased to know I've got a good plan for this. How about I go and buy up the entire harvest of Gondor, so they all starve this winter? Muahahahaha!'

[Ecthelion]

Yes! That is perfect Snaga! STARVE GONDORIANS! Or maybe we can buy all the lumber from Mirkwood? Forest be gone Muahahahahahaha!! Now what to do with my share............? Man poor Tar. She better hurry back to get a share."

[Khamul]

Originally posted by Nain Ironfoot
"So what do we do with the jewels? Give them to the Bar

YES YES YES!!!!!

*Drygo hands Cir his chicken.*:rolleyes:

[chrysophalax]

Artos walks over to Snaga, his eyes looking over the gliitering pile. "While I have no need for jewels, I will gladly give my portion to Magnus, for if he were to find out that these were here Snaga, and he had not been offered any, someone might have some explaining to do."
He then produced a pouch from his belt and handed it to Snaga.

[Snaga]

Snaga takes the pouch, and replies: 'As you wish. But Magnus would have been here to claim a share for himself if he was prepared to face up to Bob.'

Snaga fills it with some jools (:D) and hands it back to Artos. 'Send my best wishes to the magnificent dragon, may his scales gleam ever brighter!'

[YayGollum]

*saunters back in* "Argh! I forgot my shield!" *runs over to the bar where he left it and is about to run away again*

[chrysophalax]

Artos noticed Truor's timely entrance and said, "Truor, is that eagle friend of yours still hanging around with you? I have an errand for him."

[YayGollum]

"Ack! Yes, I know of an eagle that I can get to deliver stuff from time to time. I hope you have the money for it, though. We usually split whatever we can get." *hops around wanting to leave again*

[chrysophalax]

Taking two large rubies from the pouch, Artos hands them to Truor and tells him to have his eagle deliver the pouch to Magnus at the Lonely Mountain, with Lord Snaga's compliments.

[YayGollum]

*runs outside (phew!) and gets Shadowflaps to go find Knockondor (the eagle dude), when he shows up, Truor gives him his ruby, the pouch, and the message* "Thanks, dude! See ya later! I'm outta here!"

[Turgon]

Serewing crawled out from beneath a table, bleary-eyed and hungry. What was that smell? Was it? Could it be? It was... Gold! and lots of it! Grabbing a few handfuls, he began stuffing it into his pockets. Artos and Snaga were glaring at him somewhat menacingly.

'Hey, it's to Save the Dragon...' Serewing explained. Before making his way over to the bar and ordering a full Umbarian breakfast with his new found wealth.

'Hold the Kippers Drygo... Do you serve dragon's eggs?'

[chrysophalax]

Grabbing Serewing by the front of his tunic, Artos hauled him to his feet and shook him. "For Save the Dragon? And you have the nerve to order Dragon eggs?" He released Serewing with a shove and stalked away in disgust.

[Ecthelion]

Nain catiously edged away from the confrontation and handed Snaga a pouch. "Can I have my share Snaga?" He watches out for fear of the body of Serewing hitting him.

[Snaga]

'I was thinking of giving your share to Tar, if that's OK with you Nain. After all, she would be here now if you hadn't driven her out with your vacuous prattle.'

[Ecthelion]

"You just hate me don't you? Yes she can have mine, but can't I have one. How about that one?" Nain points to a football size piece of mithril "C'mon if I only ge one thing can't I have that?"

[Snaga]

Snaga's eyes bulge as he notices the huge piece of mithril. 'Why that is worth more than the rest this fortune put together. Get your hands off, you greedy dwarf!'

Snaga adds the lump of mithril to the Dark Legion coffer, and then gives Nain a reasonable share. 'There you go Master Ironfoot. Stop worrying about whether people hate you. You are in the Dark Legion now. You should expect to be hated. Loads of people hate me. Do I look like I care? Anyway, you are playing a valuable role in the Dark Legion, although you probably don't realise it.'

[Ecthelion]

No I don't, but I'll try to. Thank you for the small part. I really don't even need this much." He takes out a handful of jewels and gives them to Artos "Here send these to Magnus from me. I guess being hated is like a good thing in the Dark Legion eh?"

[Khamul]

Drygo wanders over to Sewering, and quietly whispers, "I wouldnt talk about dragon eggs around the 'save the dragons organization.' It's not that bad of a cause actually, the more dragons the DL has, the less us soldiers need to do."

[Tar-Ancalime]

Tar Ancalime hearing about the lovely jewel collection litteraly dumped onto the burning chicken Inn sends one of her winged handmaidens, Calpurnia, with a gaurd of Knun-chuck warriors and an imperial command to get 3/4's of nain's share. The Handmaiden Calpurnia enters, winks at Snaga1 and then flies toward Nain, and reads:
Notice: By Imperial command of her worshipfulness Tar-Ancalime, she orders Nain Ironfoot to hand over 3/4ths of his treasure to Tar-Ancalime. Innability to grant her worshipfulness this request WILL result in severe punishment. Than the Fairy grins and says "I believe you should count out what belongs to milady." and winks at Snaga again

[Ecthelion]

"He has it." Nain says pointing to Snaga. "Nain fondles over his treasure which is good enough for him. "Drygo your right, we need more dragons and balrogs. We already have 1 of each, a few more and we can send our armies on permanent vacation."

[Tar-Ancalime]

Calpurnia glares sternly at the impudent Nain, the glare could make an orc cry for his mother," Nain Ironfoot, you are already not within milady's gracies. I do not suggest lying would raise your standing any. I have the right to arrest you!" she said signaling for the knun-chuck warriors to arrest nain.

[Ecthelion]

"What are you doing he does have it! Snaga give it to the lady! Please have some patience. I have my 1/4 and he took 3/4. If not than take some from the pot."

[Tar-Ancalime]

"I absolutely loathe dealing with theiving dwarves!" Calpurnia says this with great anger and signals the knun-chuck warriors to watch nain. "Snaga," she says most sweetly," I still havent' forgotten how nice you were when I had accomponied you on many of your trips. I never knew how nice orcs could be if you gave them a chance."and then Calpurnia kissed Snaga1 on the lips.

[Ecthelion]

Originally posted by snaga1
Snaga adds the lump of mithril to the Dark Legion coffer, and then gives Nain a reasonable share.

OOC: MY reasonable share he has yours!

IC:"Oh man I didn't like that." says Nain turning away. After that the lady turns to Nain "Now give me the treasure!" "I DON'T HAVE IT! AND IF YOU DON'T BELEIVE ME THEN LEAVE!"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"of fine i believe you," she motions to her knun-chuck warriors,"leave him alone the swine was alright in the gutter before." she says in annoyance and just takes some out of the pot, her lady won't mind too much jewels are jewels. Calpurnia orders the Knun-chuck warriors to take out the treasure she gathered. than she flew over to Snaga and says ," listen come over some time to that resort we should get together, it's very relaxing snaga;)" she says and kisses snaga again. Than she flutters out the door

[Ecthelion]

"I am now scared(like a scar on your skin) for life." Nain rushes to the garbage can and start spewing in it.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Calpurnia returns to Rhun,"Milady here's some jewels however nain refused to cooperate so I just took some from the pile is that alright?"Calpurnia asks ,"indeed,Now i was bathing if you would like to leave!" TAr said sternly."Yes Miliady, may I go back to the inn?" Calpurnia asks ,"why dearst calpurnia?" Tar asked curiosuly. "Well I saw Snaga their." TAr nods to indicate a yes. Calpurnia flutters off to the inn in her uniform which she wore to the inn before a sheer, creme silk tunic. She arrives at the Inn and hovers at the bar and asks,"Martini please." The barkeep looks kinda shocked and of course gets Calplurnia her drink

[Ecthelion]

Nain stops spewing and turns and looks at the lady again, he says "My lord, I didn't know private jets were made already or do you have a dodge viper or something?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

"dwarf, It's called hyper-flight! If you weren't stuck with your head in you a$$ and you a$$ stuck in a bottle you might know." she said

[Ecthelion]

"I swear if you weren't a lady I would................." He didn't finsih his sentance.

[Tar-Ancalime]

"now, now nain lets not have fit of anger," Calpurnia says and quickly flutters up past nain's reach.

[Ecthelion]

Nain walks to Snaga and whispers "I have a great part for her in the circus. She can be the person who gets knives thrown at her. Hope whoevers throwing them doesn't 'messup'." Nain grins and orders another hurricane.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Calpurnia heard that and looked offended,"awww, did i annoy little baby nain? did i hurt the poor babies feelings." AFter saying this flew higher up

[Balrog Bob]

[Among all the hub-bub of the Dark Legion's clammering, Balrog Bob thinks to himself.]

**Thinking** : "Ah, yes. The greed within this manner is grand!!!"

**To everyone** : So Legionare's of the Dark, has everyone appreciated the bounty I so gratiously bestowed upon thee? That... is merely the begining of my great power!!!! The Dragon... I merely jest about The Dragon. However, the wizards - oh, a bitter taste of vengence await them.

[Suddenly, a rumbling begins to stir in the pits of its stomach.]

"Oh, nooooooo!!!!!" [From within the massive hood of the Balrog - shoots out a massive inferno of flame!!! Everyone is stunned.]

"Sorry, the ribs are starting to give me a heartburn.":D

[Tar-Ancalime]

"What the Heck!!!!!" Calpurnia screams as the fire flies just over her head.

[Ecthelion]

The lady who wasflying up and up slammed into the ceiling. She fell with a thump. Nain starts laughing and says "Oh goodness, did poor baby fall?"

[Tar-Ancalime]

Calpurnia flies back up to her original spot. "Contemptous dwarf!" she yells

[Ecthelion]

"HHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!" Nain continues laughing and just can't stop.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Calpurnia flies behind nain ever silently and puts an egg down his pants. And then flies up as it begins to oooze all in his pants

[Ecthelion]

Nain like the feeling and ignores it.:D He takes out a potato gun shooter, loads it up and fires potatoes at the flying lady and hit her many times with great accuracy.

OOC:Is it just me or do Tar and I always have long chats by ourselves?

[Tar-Ancalime]

Calpurnia dodges all the shots, and then she takes like a whole basked of eggs all kinds of eggs even fish eggs and throws them at him.

[Ecthelion]

Originally posted by Nain Ironfoot
He takes out a potato gun shooter, loads it up and fires potatoes at the flying lady and hit her many times with great accuracy.


Nain dogdes the egg and because Snaga was right by him they all hit him covering in her eggs.

[Tar-Ancalime]

In anger she goes up and packs nain a suprisingly powerful punch from a fairy that sends him flying into the wolves, "Oh Snaga i'm sorry, I just got all caught up in the fight." she said to him

[Balrog Bob]

**In disgust** : "Shameful, the likes of these mere creatures at eachother's throats and as for Nain... a potato gun??? :rolleyes: Why if it were me, I'd use these. [The Balrog whips out his talons and smirks] and if that doesn't work I'd use my... secret weapon." *Bum, bum, bummm!!!!*:D

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Hello Balrog Bob, I believe I haven't introduced myself...I'm the dark queen head chambermaid...Calpurnia." she said flying at his level

[Balrog Bob]

"Ah, a chambermaid, I see. [His glowing eyes from beneath the hood scan Calpurnia]. Hmm, yess - you are indeed. Don't mind me, I talk big... just like everything else about me. [Blarog Bob nods appreciatively to her].:cool:

[Tar-Ancalime]

"if i had your size and strength i'd take full advantage of that too." she says than realizes what he is doing and goes to a less precarious positon

[Balrog Bob]

[Balrog Bob understands what Calpurnia is getting at].

"So, you really think that I'm like that?" [The Balrog puts his flaming arms into sight and apologizes]. I'm sorry, but my pheonix doesn't agree with you. [Balrog Bob raises his char-armored hand toward Calpurnia's general direction, showing the universal sign of the bird/pheonix.

[Balrog Bob smiles at Calpurnia].;)

[Balrog Bob]

[With a steady-sharp glare at Calpurnia, turns to Nain].

"Say, if you need any help dealing with this wee one, let me know. Anyway, I've had emough here for one fort night. I'll be back tomorrow."

[And with that said, Balrog Bob was off. To where, no one knows - doing what... slaying of course].

[Snaga]

Snaga was still standing blissfully remembering the good times with Calpurnia when the eggs struck. He came to his senses with a start.

'Eggs! Dangit! How am I supposed to get this off?'

As Bob walks past the heat instantly fries the eggs. Snaga is then able to peel most of it off.

He calls to Calpurnia: 'Hey my butterfly, do you know where I could get a bath?'

[chrysophalax]

Artos rolls his eyes at Snaga's remark. Obviously asking Calpurnia a question like that is an open invitation. It is quite apparent that the Orc-lord is suddenly developing heretofor unseen powers of attraction....

[Tar-Ancalime]

"Snaga I do happen to know, I would be so honored if i was allowed draw the water for you.;) " Calpurnia says and winks at Snaga.

[Turgon]

Serewing downed a last pint of ale and took a long look around the inn. 'I'll miss this place.' he muttered. Then climbing upon a table in the middle of the room he addressed the assembled throng.

'Hola ye pampered jades of Mornclaur! Companions in the Arts of Darkness you have been to me, if only for a little while. But the time has come for me to leave. Great adventures lies head for all of us - perhaps - but I am not one to sit in idleness beside the fire. For many months now the shipwrights of Umbar have been at work, crafting a ship the like of which has not been seen since the Glory Days of Old Numenor. Alcarondas she is named, after the mighty flagship of Ar-Pharazon the Golden. Osse's Beard, what a beauty she is! A lebrethon quinquereme - three masted and lateen rigged, the ram... a-hem. Now she is complete and the time has come for me to fulfil my destiny. Good luck to you all! I foresee dark days ahead for Mornclaur, but you have walked in darkness all your lives, may it make you all the stronger. Farewell!'

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur eats some of the eggs and potatos now laying on the ground. "You people and your food-wasting! There are starving children in Far-Rhun, and you're flinging food like sand!" he scolds, and waits again for his fried chicken.

Meanwhile, Ervurkea had finished his saki, and was checking his goatee to make sure it wasn't singed by the Balrog's acid reflux. "I tellee, some people have so few manners..." he muttered.

[chrysophalax]

"This foul Balrog has disgusted even me! Serewing, count me in! At least my wolves won't suffer the humiliations they've had endure among this lot!" So saying, Artos whistled to his wolves and they left with Serewing on his journey.

[Ecthelion]

"See ya later guys." Nain said as he waved goodbye. "Man this place is pretty empty now. Only a balrog and some big tall men. Snaga and the other lady are in the back somewhere." Nain thought to himself then he heard from the back a female voice say " Now where is that tub of honey?" Nain just sat and wondered.

[Snaga]

Originally posted by Sting
YES YES YES!!!!!

*Drygo hands Cir his chicken.*:rolleyes:

Snaga shouts at Drygo: 'You got the orders mixed up! You might be a good pyromaniac in the kitchen, but the service is terrible!'

Snaga goes to this 'Cir' character, and grabs the now cold chicken from him. 'You mangy thief!' he snarls, and lays him out with a single punch.

Luckily its not Emporer Ciryaher, but Cirybral the Thunk, loremaster of Harad.

'Here you go Jahdhur, enjoy!' he says passing him the chicken.

Then he links arms with the fluttering beauty that is Calpurnia. 'Show me this bath-tub then, angel wings!'

[Tar-Ancalime]

"It's right out here you vile orc;)," Calpurnia says with a wink. and she leads snaga to the hot tub

[Snaga]

* splashing noises *

[Tar-Ancalime]

*giggling and hoarse laughing*

[Ciryaher]

Jahrdur dances about, then sits down and gobbles down his chicken.

Ervurkea taps the stable-boy on the shoulder as he passes. They whisper for a moment, then the stable-boy dashes off to the kitchen.

[Ecthelion]

"HEY SNAGA!" Nain yells so he can here him in the back. Snaga answers like Nain ruined something good for him "I see your a good chef from another bar, Make me some lamb!" "Alright alright." Snaga comes out putting back on his shirt and tying his belt.

[Snaga]

'OK I can cook sonny... but not here. But since you had the damn cheek to ask... eat this!'

He presents a plate with what looks like an omelette, but in it seems to be a tangly mass of hair.

'Whats that?' asks Nain doubtfully.

'Your beard!' says Snaga with a nasty smile. 'Now eat!' he demands, threateningly.

[Tar-Ancalime]

Calpurnia came out still tying her tunic."Snaga dont' deal with the pathetic dwarf I was just begining to enjoy myself1" she said to him

[Ecthelion]

Nain waits for Snaga to look around the pub. Finally he does and Nain slides down his 'beard' to one of the wolves that gladly eats it. When Snaga turns back Nain makes a face like he swallows it and smiles.

[Ciryaher]

Returning with a large lid and a broomstick, the stableboy nodded.

Ervurkea spoke loudly, "The boy and I challenge you all to a game of...chicken. The rules are quite simple, you have someone sit on another's shoulders, and you try to knock your opponent off! Who will accept this challenge of skill and good-humour?"

The large man stooped and the boy sat on his shoulders with the lid bound on one arm and the broomstick held tightly in the other.

[Ecthelion]

Nain disregardes the man and the boy and asks Drygo for a cheeseburger.

[chrysophalax]

*Nain hears a little voice in his head, "The wolves left with Serewing and Artos two pages ago!"*

[Khamul]

We dont have cheeseburgers, Dwarf! Only employees are allowed to have them.

[Ecthelion]

"Shucks, well then I'll have some chicken, you have that right?"

[Khamul]

'Dont ask me, ask the orc child.'

[Ecthelion]

"The orc child is about to play chicken with that man though, if I try to get him he'll fall and I'll get sued. Can I just have another Hurricane then?"

[Khamul]

That is the stable boy, not the orc-child.

[Ecthelion]

"Right." Nain asks the orc-chile for some chicken which the orc goes and brings to him.

[Snaga]

Snaga goes and sits down at a table far away from Nain. 'Come and sit with me, Calpurnia my floating beauty!' he says. 'Would you like a drink?'

[Ecthelion]

"Hey orc child," Nain calls to the orc child ," Get me a Hurricane and a sundae with bhot chocolate." The orc child nods and wlaks to the back room.

[Azog]

A stranger walks in, but attracts little attention. (thats Me)

"I would like a decaf latte and 5,000,000 cappachinos(SP). Not foamy, for I have a very sensative stomach. Oh yeah, I'll have Elf-wings with the Blood-B-Q Sauce. That OK?

[Ciryaher]

***ooc: if you're confusing MY stable-boy with an orc-child, I advise you not. He's my stable-lad, and he's no dirty orc...not a clean one, neither.***

Ervurkea and the lad decide that all present are a lazy bunch of louts with no gizzards, they lope off to get smashed out of their minds drinking hot saki.

Jahrdur yawns and pushes back his empty plate, tossing the bones across the room for any hungry wolves/dogs.

[Ecthelion]

"I don't know how it will do, but I am making a blacksmith store next to this pub so I guess I'll start advertising. Come to the new blacksmith store The Burning Stone! Bring me a metal, tell me what you want and I'll make it. We also have a waiting room with magazines and a tv, but if you perfer to chat and drink while you wait head to the Burining Chicken!"

OOC:Should I make a new thread or just post about it here?

[Azog]

(new thread)

[Ecthelion]

Ok thanks Azog I did it.

[Azog]

Yeah and I got a job there

[Ecthelion]

Go me! I already have a co-worker, all I need now is some customers.....................

[Azog]

Co-owner? Pleez?

[Ecthelion]

Fine we will split proceeds 50/50.