Love and Relationships in your 'Tweens'

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Legolam
Believe me, they don't! Sometimes I think men can be more emotional than women - it's scary. And they don't know how to deal with it, so they just get all jealous of anyone else and try to act all macho. Seriously, they're just wrecks ;)


I heard that. :D


I don't think women will ever be able to date like guys. We're just not built like them - I guess we've just got to keep putting ourselves on the line and hoping that, one of these days, we get the right one. [/B]

And how do guys date? You'll really have to fill me in on that one. I'm out of the market for over three years now and never was really into it before that.:o

I'm really sorry for you Elbereth. I do hope you just bump into mr. 'Right' (you do know he doesn't really exist do you?) one day. Or maybe you get lucky and bump into a mr. 'He's Not Perfect, But Neither Am I, We're Just Really Happy With Eachother'.:)

[Bethelarien]

I feel for you, Elbe. My current dilemma:

I'm 17, and a senior in high school. I've had a crush on this guy since, like, 6th grade. We're good friends, and we hang out, and all that jazz, and he has no clue that I like him as...well, more than a friend.

The big problem: my best friend also likes him. However, he also likes her, and they've been gf/bf several times. Each time she's broken up with him, saying that his morals are too low and that the relationship wouldn't be good for her. Now, though, (once again) she wants to go back out with him, and they're going to Homecoming together. I'm totally confused. What the heck am I supposed to do? My best friend doesn't even know I like him, and I'm not about to spoil a good relationship over a guy. But it really frustrates me to see her doing this over and over, and knowing that my chances with this guy are going down the drain.

Is that selfish? What do I do?

(Maybe I'll just become a nun. Waaaait a second...a Mormon nun? Nah. I couldn't do the whole celibacy deal.)

[Celebthôl]

Ask out this guy, I mean you cannot not tell him how you feel, he could be the one for you and your passing it up.
I know it sounds mean, but she doesnt seem to be doing any good to this guy, and you would do him good.
That term "I'm not about to spoil a good relationship over a guy", its kinda mean, dont ignore your wants, look after yourself and your needs, then when you are happy look out for your friends wants and needs. ;)
It is NOT selfish at all to ask this guy out, this gurl has had many opportunities to be with him and it appears shes blown it each time, dont sit back, ask him out yourself :)

(On a side note, i give VERY bad advice, therefore unless someone of a better advice giving ability agrees with me, you might not want to listen. . . just a warning ;))

EDIT: On another point, you will regret not attempting it for a very long time, believe me. . .

[Snaga]

Elbe... Just cos a plan doesnt work first time doesnt mean it would never work. If he wasnt right... wait for the next one. But seriously, I think you should stop being so anxious to be 'paired off'. I reckon that the best strategy is not to be 'out there' looking at all. Things happen when you least expect them, as I well know!... and you have lots going on in your life as far as I can (you always seem very busy) so maybe focus on other matters and take the pressure off yourself? Just a thought....

Beth... I think you should do a quick reality check here. Firstly... what did your friend mean about his morals? Is there anything for you to worry about here. Secondly... just because you always wanted him, do you still? If after the reality check is done, you are still just as keen on him, I agree with Thol... go for it. Your friend doesnt have monopoly rights on him when she isnt seeing him at the moment.

Now, I guess the ideal world thing to do is to tell your friend first. But that might be hard to do, and might not work out for the best. It kinda loads the pressure up a notch. So don't feel too bad about yourself if you can't bring yourself to do it that way. But you should level with her as soon as you can.

LOL... Uncle Snaga is full of good advice. If these sage words prove bad, fangoriously slaughter random people, creatures or stuff.:D

[Elbereth]

You speak wisely oh great Snaga!

LOL...but seriously...

I have breaking news to share with all of you.

Just when I thought that all was lost, my phone beeped tonight giving me a glimmer of hope. You see, that little beep was a text message from the guy I had dated. He apologizing for not calling. Apparently his phone was lost and he just recovered it. He said he will call tommorow...we'll see I guess.

[Celebthôl]

Originally posted by snaga1
LOL... Uncle Snaga is full of good advice. If these sage words prove bad, fangoriously slaughter random people, creatures or stuff.:D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :D:D:D


Elb, not to put a damper on all this, most guys lie :( its a known fact and consistant as gravity. I hope for your sake he is telling the truth, but don't put all your hopes into this just yet. Just go along with the relationship as you have been, don't rush it all. Then see where it goes. :)

[Elbereth]

You're right...most men do lie. He never did call...still hasn't called.

And last night I made the stupid mistake of getting angry and leaving a message on his phone telling him off. Oh well, I guess that is the end of that relationship *sigh*

[Celebthôl]

Ahh, dont worry about it, he wasnt worth it anyway.
Telling him off wasnt a stupid thing, though i doubt it will be of any use. :(

[Snaga]

Elbe: time for fangorious slaughter I believe.:(

[Elbereth]

Originally posted by snaga1
Elbe: time for fangorious slaughter I believe.:(

I think you are right about that one Snaga. LOL!

[Niniel]

YAY!!! I finally managed to find a boyfriend! It took me 23 years, but now I have the most wonderful guy I could think of! I liked him already quite a long time, but I never dared to ask him whether he liked me too; but yesterday he came over and we just ended up kissing all night...
Yay I"m so happy I could dance all day!!!!!!
(sorry for this rant I just wanted to share my bliss with you...)

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Niniel
YAY!!! I finally managed to find a boyfriend! It took me 23 years, but now I have the most wonderful guy I could think of! I liked him already quite a long time, but I never dared to ask him whether he liked me too; but yesterday he came over and we just ended up kissing all night...
Yay I"m so happy I could dance all day!!!!!!
(sorry for this rant I just wanted to share my bliss with you...)

Wow, you're so lucky. Too bad we can't see you shine from here.:)

Oh, and he'd better be the second most loving boyfriend in the history of planet earth, else the entire Guild of the Periaur will ... erm ... fill his mailbox with spam!:D

[Legolam]

Nice one, Niniel. It's the greatest feeling in the world, isn't it!

he'd better be the second most loving boyfriend in the history of planet earth Is the first you by any chance, DGoeij?

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Legolam
Nice one, Niniel. It's the greatest feeling in the world, isn't it!

Is the first you by any chance, DGoeij?

I kinda hoped I couldn't get away with jokes like that amongst fellow Tweens.:D

Go Legolam and Go Niniel!

[Ramagna]

Hi there, Periaurs! ;)

I just imagined, as Elves do live forever, and perhaps they met a nice elven girl/boy in their "tweens", and decided they would spend the end of their lifes together...
Do you think this could last? And what if we humans would live that long, would it be the same?

Just some imaginations....

Greetings... Ramagna

[Legolam]

I find it really hard to imagine myself with anyone from now until the day I die. I mean, I'm only 20 and I fully expect to have a good 50-60 years left in me. i can't begin to imagine what that length of time feels like, let alone what it's like to spend it with one person. Of course, that's what I'm planning on doing, so I'd better get used to it!

My parents just passed the 25 year mark (I sometimes wonder how they did it!) and we had a huge party to celebrate. I think that, so long as you have humour and fun in the relationship, there's no reason why it can't go on forever. I'm not naive enough to believe in the "one love" theory (it's too depressing to contemplate), and I think that you choose to spend the rest of your life with someone that is your best friend and that you can talk to.

I think that once the first part of the relationship is over, the thing that makes two people stay together is their shared experiences. When you share so much of your life with someone that knows you really well, I guess you shouldn't have a problem staying with them forever.

[Elbereth]

Well folks, after years and years of griping about men...I think I have finally found a guy who really makes me very happy. I have been seeing my guy for a little over 3 months and it just keeps getting better and better. I have not told him this yet...but I think I am really falling for him.

But my question to you is...when is the right time to say "I love you"? And if you feel it...should you wait for the right momment or say it as you feel it? :confused:

[Legolam]

Aww, Elbe! I'm so happy for you.

As for the question, that's a toughy. I guess it all depends on what you are both like. I don't think you should ever not say "I love you" just because you're scared you might not hear it back. Say it when you feel really really strongly that you do love him, that's my advice. Personally, I wouldn't wait for the "right moment", otherwise it will become this massive thing in your head and the right moment will never come around.

Just a wee story for you - my boyfriend first told me he loved me after about 3 months, when we were both drunk and having a massive argument on the street at 2am. Not the perfect circumstance in hindsight, but it felt perfect at the time! :D

[greypilgrim]

Don't say it! And if he tells you that, just say "thanks" or something neutral.

[Legolam]

Why shouldn't she say it, GP? That's a very cynical answer!! And don't say "thanks" - believe me, I've done it and it sounds so stupid once you've said it! If he says it to you and you don't feel you want to say it back, jsut hug him tight or something - don't feel under pressure to say something you're not sure you mean.

[greypilgrim]

Because once he tells her he loves her, she automatically has him wrapped around her finger, and she can have her way with him then! That's why. :p

I hate love.

[Elbereth]

Hey...just so you know...I have posted a pic of my boyfriend and I in the forum photo album for a limited time...so if you are curious for visuals ...there ya go!

[Niniel]

It's really hard to say 'I love you', I discovered. I told my BF a few times, but the only thing he said back was 'uhuh'. He's just not a guy who talks a lot about his feelings. Sometimes that makes me really unsure whether he even loves me at all; I suppose he does since we see each other a lot and he doesn't seem annoyed by that. But I'm often very unsure about myself, and I think I'm stupid and everything, and I'd like it if he just told me that he loves me, or even that he likes to be with me.

[Aulë]

Ahhh, the old "when shall I tell her/him I love her/him?" debate... If only both sides weren't so hesitant to say it in the fear that the other wont reciprocate... :p
Well, I can't talk- I'm struggling through the same thing right now!
lol

[Elbereth]

Interesting...and I thought only girls struggle with that...;)

[Eriol]

I think that love belongs at least as much to the beloved as to the lover. So I say it whenever I feel it. It may not be the best of tactics (looking at the matter very, very coldly :p), but it makes me feel a lot better. Even if I only rarely hear the "I love you too" response; that's life.