Love and Relationships in your 'Tweens'

[Elbereth]

Growing up I used to be very idealistic about love and relationships. I always had that fairy tale image of me being swept off my feet by a beautiful knight in shining armor. And I always believed that if a guy really liked me...he would want to be my boyfriend and we'd have a beautiful relationship and live happily ever after.

But the fact is...not every relationship, works out that way...especially in your tweens.

And by the time you reach my age, you begin to realize that the love of fairy tales & movies...rarely ever happens in real life. Relationships are complicated, confusing, and frustrating. And even the most perfect mate is not necessarily as perfect as you make them out to be.

So how do we Tweens cope with the struggles of singledom in our generation? Let's hear your stories of struggles and successes.

And who knows....Perhaps by hearing how others fare...we could learn to be better mates in our own relationships.

[Niniel]

Maybe you'll not believe this, but I have never had a boyfriend in my life. On the one hand this makes me feel very lonely sometimes, but on the other hand I do have a lot of friends and I refuse to get desperate. I'm sure that some day I will find someone to share my life with. Not a romantic 'knight in shining armour' but just someone to be my soulmate or something. But no luck so far :(

[Kat]

So true...Hollywood movies have let us all down, and made both men and women believe in the impossible dream of perfect relationships where two people destined to be together find each other and overcome insurmountable odds to have a perfect, lifelong relationship.Blah Blah Blah...

Never fear Niniel, relationships are never what they seem. I have had relationship woes with my significant male in a drawn-out seven year saga. In that time we have broken up and got back together eight times, drawn other, unsuspecting potential partners into the mix and generally stuffed things up. Im coming around to the idea that maybe he isn't the ONE. And yes, it has taken me a long time to start thinking this.

Every six months or so I declare that im over male ****, that all males are bastards and that I should seriously consider lesbianism as a means of avoiding this. But I can't resist them though...men! Hmph! Who needs them?? (we do:D)

[DGoeij]

Hey, easy on the man-people. Even Tweens can be male, like this one.:D

No really, I'm with the same girl for 2 1/2 years now and still seriously in love. I know about the chemical theories, but I simply feel great when I'm with her, and a lot less great without her. I don't know much about relationships, she's my second (serious) girlfriend, but it works out great between us.
My view is, there are some basic rules, so easy to think of, but a little too easy to break too.
1. Forget Hollywood.
2.Treat her like you wish to be treated, but nicer. (If you're more into guys, fill in 'him')

If I'm really honest, I think it comes down to that. I'm no expert, but I did some forensics on several broken hearts, including my own. Amazing how difficult people can make life for eachother, especially when they have strong feelings for eachother. I even scare myself with my own thoughts, during our occasional fights. So I don't say it out loud, and in the end the 'making up' is really great.:)

[Kat]

You sound really sweet. Maybe you could teach some Aussie guys a thing or two!!
I definately agree with the making up part! I suppose the hardest thing about relationships in this generation is the extremely high rate of divorce, it seems people are always taking the easy option, rather than the strength to solve problems in their relationships. Or alternatively, they marry too early.
Here is a strange story for you of a marriage between two tweens that I know. They married at 19, have been married for two years. Have decided to split, buy a new house together, stay married on paper and move in their boy/girlfriends. What a happy home! This is in case they decide later down the track they REALLY do want to be together!

[DGoeij]

They what??????
And I thought soap-series on TV were based on wacky guys writing up redicilous stories.
I can't even imagine someone coming up with the idea, and others thinking it a great plan. Try and live with eachother without deciding to get married at first is maybe a better idea. Sometimes I think people take more consideration in buying a car than over getting married.

[Narya]

The first time I had a boyfriend was in 5th grade. It was nothing serious really, but I received a lot of attention for it, which I enjoyed until the boyfriend became the jealous devil who started to hold me by the neck :( then I really hated the entire boyfriend/girlfriend thingy.

The next time I tried having a relationship was already in college, and I didn't enjoy it either, because he was such a fan of Bruce Lee that at times he would even try to teach me Jeet-Kun-Do which was not only annoying but painful.

After that, the next relationships I had were complete disasters, until the last one which was online with a 23 year old boy from Australia. (Elbs, I know what you're gonna say, but no that wasn't even a relationship) The last one lasted about 1 year and then it soured because we were too far apart. But we're still friends.

Now, I think I'm beginning to be skeptical about the concept of love and relationships. What do you think Elbs, am I a hopeless case or what? And where's that guy you promised me??

[DGoeij]

He probably just walked past behind you, and didn't dare to say anything.;)

[Walter]

Not sure if I'm allowed at all to throw in my two (€-)cents here, for I'm no longer a twen, so just let me know if I should delete my post.

What I have to say is that I'm still very idealistic about love and relationship.

When I was 17 I met this wonderful girl (she was 15) at the dancing school and somehow we fell in love with each other. A few months later our relationship split, but after a few more months we were together again. We both had realized we couldn't be without each other. When I was 25 we married and today (with 44) we're more in love than ever before. She's no longer a girl (but still my girl), but a woman, we both are getting the first wrinkles or a grey hair here or there. She was a pretty girl and today she's a beatiful woman (at least in my eyes).

Sure, we had to work on our relationship, the basic pillars of it are love, mutual respect, trust and honesty and I'm really looking forward to spending the rest of my life with this wonderful woman. Looking back I think that - mostly in our early years - there were some situations were it would have been easier to split, but we both were willing to fight for our relationship rather than against it.

Sounds like a clichee, but it is the truth: We just were destined for each other

[menchu]

*Sniff, sniff* --> See what you did, Walter! :D

[Walter]

Yeah, I'm hopelessly romantic ;)

[Narya]

and Handsome, you look like Chris O'Donell, and you're wife is also such a beauty!!! YOu both make a wonderful pair!

It is always nice to hear successful love storie, gives you a sense of hope that maybe someday you too will have one to tell to people. Right now, all I have are sob stories.

[Gamil Zirak]

Sorry Walter. I just can't let this one go. I know it was the 80's and all, but what is up with all of that hair? It is nice to see that you've gotten it cut since then.

[DGoeij]

LOL, just add a beard and you would have looked like my dad at my parent's wedding foto's. And that was just 5 years earlier.:D

What a sweet couple.:)

[Walter]

LOL - thanks for the compliments Y'all ;)

Gamil, I've had this "haircut" - or lack thereof - from my mid-teens until 1985 (with a few interruptions, like when I "prostituted" myself by selling my hair for a turntable). However, I felt I had to give it up when I left university and was applying for my first "serious" job. ;)

Narya, don't give up hope, sooner or later the right one for you will come... :)

[Legolam]

Well, I just split from my first serious boyfriend three weeks ago, and now I know what it feels like. I got so depressed for the first two week then, a week ago, I suddenly realised that I'm only 19. I love him, but the chances are he's not "the one" and I think I just have to move on. It's sort of good to hear everyone else goes through the same thing at some point.

PS I love the hair Walter! :D

[menchu]

Cheer up! ¡Ánimo! ¡¡¡Arrrrrrribbbbbbaaaaaaaa!!!

If I were there, I would take you to a club and dance all night long.
If you were here, I would take you to a concert and dance all night long.
(Almost the same, but hey! It's the intention that counts)
In any case, a mega-cyber-cuddle and loads 'f kisses!! :p :cool:

[Legolam]

Thanks Menchu! It means a lot! I've lost a lot of friends (like his flatmates and stuff) during this, but I'm off to a party tonight and I'm definitely going to have fun!! I did do something a bit stupid with my best friend because of all this though, so I think I'll have to sort myself out before I decide anything.

[menchu]

That's what friends are for... (Oops! Quoted Britney! :eek: ) I'm sure she/he will understand because she/he is your friend. Meanwhile, enjoy yourself at the party (go to as many as possible) and 'disconnect' when the strongest part of the storm comes. ;)

I just wonder why this has happened so much this summer...

[Legolam]

Umm, I really don't think friends are for this, but never mind! My life sucks a bit right now. Grrr, why do boys manage to do this to us!!?!?!?

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Legolam
Grrr, why do boys manage to do this to us!!?!?!?

Pff, you should see the broken hearts on the male side. Being rejected, then drawn back, then rejected again etc. is a typical female way of destroying a man's faith in the world.:p

I don't think breaking up should be fun, but giving eachtother such a hard time isn't great either. Then again, is there a good way of breaking up? I only had to do it once, so I wouldn't know. :confused:

[legoman]

faith what is this faith you speak of??? (see its true)lol.

Hmmm, I'm sorry for you loss Legolam. I don't really have a lot of advice, I'm not good at this, errrrm, oh listen to 'I'll cry instead' by the beatles, sure its about a bloke but hey, I think its uplifting. also quite apt.

[Legolam]

Thank you! I will raid my parents CD collection and try and find it right now! :D

[legoman]

parents, why I outta... argh go to my lecture it starts in a couple of minutes, bye bye!


legoman out.

[DGoeij]

I can't even try that. My parents were 'Rolling Stones people'. I have spotted one, repeat one, record of the Beatles once, and that was one of those oversized, outdated, black ones. When you see it, you immediatly understand the meaning of Compact Disc.:rolleyes:

[menchu]

Originally posted by Legolam
Umm, I really don't think friends are for this, but never mind! My life sucks a bit right now. Grrr, why do boys manage to do this to us!!?!?!?

Well, I meant they would be there... I don't explain myself any good, do I? :D

The saddest part is resentment. 'Playing' follows closely. And music is the cure, woooooooohoooooooooo!!! (don't shake your head too much. I hit a girl, what a blow!)
Yup, DGoeij. But most of them are not released afterwards in a CD format. At least I am finding it hard to get the ones I want.

[legoman]

long live vinyl!!!!!!!! it smells funny, its sounds rubbish and (therefor, lol)it reminds you of your parents, long live vinyl!!!!!!

[Walter]

Originally posted by legoman
long live vinyl!!!!!!!! it smells funny, its sounds rubbish ... I strongly disagree on that. All my albums on vinyl sound a lot better than the same album on CD. IMO the music on CD generally sucks when being compared to vinyl (if you use a high quality equipment that is) ...

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Walter
I strongly disagree on that. All my albums on vinyl sound a lot better than the same album on CD. IMO the music on CD generally sucks when being compared to vinyl (if you use a high quality equipment that is) ...

I think that's because they had to get all the music from vinyl to CD, and we all know the quality of vinyl right?:D

*dodges CD's thrown at him by Walter*

[Walter]

Originally posted by DGoeij
I think that's because they had to get all the music from vinyl to CD, and we all know the quality of vinyl right?:D

*dodges CD's thrown at him by Walter* LOL - maybe you'll check that someday when you find a High End Studio with a good TT/Amp/Speaker equipment ;)

[DGoeij]

You're lucky I'm not at home. My little brother would have whipped you unconsious with technobabble. As for now, I'll just pretend to understand and nod wisely.:p

[legoman]

I'd just like to put that in this 'relationships thread' I think Walter seems to have the most problem with his attachment to vinyl! Just let it go man, let it go. you'll be better for it.


nah, vinyls good, its just most people don't have the good equipment and on the equivilently (low) priced equipment the CD as the better sound quality, though it looses some of the warmth of vinyl

[DGoeij]

So were not even off topic? Hard to believe that.

However, your 'attachment theory' saved us from having to apoligize to people who actually wished to stay on the topic of relationships. Should one always be able to let go? Being it a girl, a boy or even vinyl?;)

[legoman]

well you know, everything is related somehow.

Also, I think letting go is good, you should move on and take the things you learned from previous experiences to help you do better next time.

[Walter]

Yes, Dr., whenever I touch it, I get this feeling...

and yes, it's soooo beautiful, black and round and cozy and warm...

...and then I can no longer resist, I put it atop of the Linn, gently take the Aro, slowly lead it over her and lower it onto her, slowly, gently, carefully put it down. And when the the Troika starts cutting into her grooves, I'm in heaven: Naim... :p

[DGoeij]

Zis isz all too clear ja. Ze man is zuffering from his testosteron levels and has projected his urges on a mechanical device. Clearly zomething in his early childhood in the relation wiz his mozer has not been fully dealt wiz. Ze frustrations have been building his whole live, and have come to the surface ven he was confronted vith vinyl. Selbstverstandlig.

I know letting go can be a good thing, I merely trying to lead the conversation away from vinyl. We're not helping walter this way.:p

[Walter]

Well zank you ... Dr. Freud, I presume...? :D

[DGoeij]

Well you know, an Austrian making that sort of remarks is really asking for it.:D

[Walter]

Originally posted by DGoeij
Well you know, an Austrian making that sort of remarks is really asking for it.:D I KNEW we'd come around to that... ;)

My Obsession (http://www.thetolkienwiki.info/mathom/ttf/lp12.jpg)

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Walter
I KNEW we'd come around to that... ;)

Too easy, I know. But trying not to was a little too much work.:)

[legoman]

Ok so that conversation killed off this thread...

perhaps if anyone wants to bring up the whole relationships thing again it might restart and flourish as in days gone by.

I would but I can't talk about this stuff, its sad I know but I can't (hence why I joined in as the talking finished, I have a habit of helping to change the subject). So anyone at all, the plate is open. (is it plate, I dunno, nevermind)

[Elbereth]

Don't worry about it legoman...you played your part in this thread well.

Anyway...Currently I am very anti-relationship, anti-date, anti-anything right now. I just do not have the energy to go out there anymore.

I have all these people who tell me to not worry...not to stress over finding love. They tell me that love will find me when I least expect it....when I'm not looking. Well, I haven't found anyone yet...and I'm not going to hold my breath until I do. :rolleyes:

So in the meantime, I'm just going to take this alone time to get to know me...and to learn to love myself. And if love should come...great...if not...oh well! :( :rolleyes:

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Elbereth
So in the meantime, I'm just going to take this alone time to get to know me...and to learn to love myself. And if love should come...great...if not...oh well! :( :rolleyes:

Be careful, if you're not trying, love will hit you like a ton of bricks. I was single for more than a year, and by that time I felt happy with it. So within two or three months, I fell in love with the girl I'm going steady with for more than two years now.:)

We're even thinking of finding ourselves a place of our own.:) (well, actually she planning to move out her parents home, and we're wondering if living together would be a good idea, I'm still living at home too.)

[Legolam]

I'm with you, Elbereth. I think I've sorted out the "friend incident" and I'm no longer raging at my "ex". I'm just going to try and be happy and single, and see what happens. It's been a while since I didn't have anyone to worry about.

My flatmate has just decided to get married to her boyfriend of 6 months and the wedding is in 3 weeks. I can't help thinking that they're making the hugest mistake. She's only just turned 20.

DGoeij - It sounds like you have it made!

[legoman]

yeah wooo, happy and single
*legoman does silly dance, proving why he's happy and SINGLE* hehe.

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by legoman
yeah wooo, happy and single
*legoman does silly dance, proving why he's happy and SINGLE* hehe.

Happy and single, that was my mood when I fell in love.;)

And I've heard of people breaking up after seven years, including two years of living together. I sincerely hope I've made it, but we'll see.:)

[Walter]

"We're happy and married..."

And having said that I use to add: "She's happy and I'm married..." :D

Just to tease her, that is

[legoman]

hhmmm, yup, but I'm much better at being single. In fact I excell at it!
I could teach a course in being single.

[Elbereth]

Originally posted by legoman
hhmmm, yup, but I'm much better at being single. In fact I excell at it!
I could teach a course in being single.

Yes...so could I. I think I have a PHD in singledom. Just call me Dr. No Love! :D

[legoman]

heh, nice, dr no. love.

then call me proffesor lonesome, fan of chesney hawkes (singer of 'the one and only') and avid admirer of Valerie 'single'ton.

[Narya]

Hey I love Chesney Hawkes!!! I have his album, BUDDY'S SONG. But someone borrowed it and never returned it :mad:')

I absolutely love him!!! It's nice to know there is someone else out here who knows him too.

By the way, I wouldn't call myself that, you might be branding yourself for life you know.

[legoman]

Brand shmand, I don't care.

hehe, my main lecturer at uni calls me chesney cos last year I tried to convince my class how good he was and none of them quite got it, so I went to see him and got him to sign my vinyl single of the one and only. yey me!!!!!

haha, I had a nice chat with his brother daniel, cool guy! plays drums.

[Elbereth]

I need some advice.

A few weeks ago my sister recommenended that I join a online personals page to find a date. Later she introduced me to one of her friends who had joined found it to be very successful for her.

But I am not sure if I should join. What do you guys think? Do you think it would be worth joining?

I'm very confused...:confused:

[Kat]

I am suspicious and cynical of those types of things. What kind of person are you likely to meet? People can make themselves anything they want to be online, but you never really know what they are actually like, until you meet them in person...scary thought. What if you are imagining some gorgeous {-insert preferred type here- for me vin diesel but whatever works for you} young guy who seems to be THE ONE during your cyber-relationship. Then you organise to meet, and your soulmate ends up (eek) a wrinkly old pervy guy...ew!

I prefer the meet in person thing, where you can size them up, get to know them etc etc. I would have thought you were lucky El, aren't you from NYC, city of many millions. Your odds are pretty good. I live near Sydney, which is MUCH smaller and nowhere near as interesting. You never know, you might wander into grocery/video/music store and bump into HIM.

[Elbereth]

The problem with living in a big city is that although there are millions, there are also a lot more jerks out there ready and willing to use and abuse young girls and make a bad name for men in general.

I came into this city innocent and hopeful for love...and now I am a cautious, cynical girl, who is skeptical of finding true love in this crazy city.

It is probably just me...but I don't think I am going to find anyone in NYC.

[Kat]

True, as an Aussie girl who watches WAY too much TV, I am willing to admit that i probably do have an unrealistic and somewhat romanticised idea of what New York is really like!

I too am cynical about love and romance. I have therefore pledged to pursue a life of singledom. If a great guy happens accross my path, thats fine. But I'm not going to vainly search for him, or wait around, he can find me.

[Elbereth]

*slaps Kat five*

You go sister!

I too have also pledged a life of singledom until the right guy comes along. I only considered the online personals as a way to meet some new people and get out of the house. I need to get out there again. :rolleyes:

[Kat]

I hear you, meeting people and going out (read running amok) is what us tweens are spose to do. We cant be traitors to our generation! Maybe a really nice guy is to be found on the online thing, give it a go, you can only try. As some of my friends are fond of saying "we're here for a good time, not a long time"

[legoman]

yup, well said kat,
if I were you Elb, I wouldn't do the online thing, but if you want to get out of the house more, join some society or group, that way you meet people who are interested in the same sort of stuff as you (kinda like this place, but not online) there must be loads of stuff like that in New York!

[Elbereth]

Good thinking Legoman! I think I might just try that. Now to decide what thing to do. :rolleyes:

[Ramagna]

As a youth, I was twice unhappy with love, than one time happy for a half year...

But as a tween, I think I found my 'Luthien Tinuviel', and I am the happiest man on earth since 'Beren', ands that for over two years now... :)

[menchu]

Specially for comunication, Elbereth. Having somenone in front of you and seeing them helps you get to know them better... In my opinion is a necessary part of comunication, so...
Good luck at the group or whatever! You'll meet people in the weirdest place you can think of... :)

[Ramagna]

Would you, as a tween, have an apartment together with a good friend (excellent in Comp-related things), and your girl/boy - friend?

[Snaga]

Can I just quietly bemoan the complete disaster area that is Snaga's relationships. Its such a huge mess. Where will Snaga find happiness?

*has idea....* perhaps I should emigrate?

[Elbereth]

Hahaha! You are not alone in feeling that way Snaga. I often thought that a change of country would be a good thing for my love life. I am still contemplating a move to England...I would just need to land a job there first. Anyone from that region know any good job openings? :D

[Snaga]

Well let me see. You work in marketing right? I used to as well, and ALL the UK marketing jobs are in 'Marketing Week'. Its probably got an online version... I guess. But wait....! You can't emigrate to Britain before Wonko. That would just be cruel!

[Elbereth]

Originally posted by snaga1
Well let me see. You work in marketing right? I used to as well, and ALL the UK marketing jobs are in 'Marketing Week'. Its probably got an online version... I guess. But wait....! You can't emigrate to Britain before Wonko. That would just be cruel!

Hey! I'm older, I deserve to go to England first. Wonko needs to finish college first anyway. I'm all done college...I have no attatchments here. I say I go to England first.

And besides...I'm the guild leader here...and what I say goes! hehehe :p

[Wonko The Sane]

That's right, Wonko DOES need to go to college first. Or finish college at least as I'm in the process of going.

But I think I just might deserve to go over there more than you do, Elbe. You haven't met my mum. The only way to escape her is continent hopping.

But as for Snaga's "huge mess" I think he needs to quit bemoaning as he is a wonderful person, and I'm sure he'll find someone worthy. ;)

And Snags, if you really want to emigrate I know a lovely little city called Seattle and we would LOVE to have you!

In regards to Wonko's relationships: There have been two. The first lasted 4 FRIGGIN YEARS and I did not love him. The second lasted only four short months, and I loved him selflessly. *sigh* I'm over that now, but it still hurts to think on it. He used me something awful and it's amazing he and I are still friends.

And as for Wonko's stoopid current relationship status I'd like to just call it a "Beautiful Mess" after that Diamond Rio song and leave it at that.

I must say that it's true, Elbe. I'm fairly young and I tend to idealize EVERYTHING. But that's because I'm gullible and naive and such.

[Legolam]

Well, since everyone's doing updates on relationships, here's mine. Still not over 2 year boyfriend who dumped me for no reason 2 months ago, friend thing still a big mess, got drunk last night and almost did something that would probably be stupid. One of my friends from first year has just moved into my flat and every time I see her I'm reminded of all the good times we had going out as a group, with me and my ex. My life SUCKS!

Ramagna - I know a couple that moved in together with one other friend. They split up soon after but they're still best of friends and it seems to work out OK. But the girl still gets a bit upset when her ex brings round new girls. So just be aware how difficult it could get if things go wrong. Think about what you'd do if the worst happened.

[Ramagna]

Thanks Legolam, I'm thinking a lot of time about it, it's just such an essential decision... :rolleyes:

[legoman]

Jub jub jub, I love these threads, they almost my my relationships sound like fun, hehe, tell me more of your woeful times please...
as for me, all my relationships were pants - I might have had three, not sure, one lasted about 5 hours, so I'm not sure it counts.. then the other 2 were about 3 months each both ending with the girl liking someone else, hehe, there that makes it fair, I've told you.

[Celebthôl]

Grrr i hate relationships right now, about 3-4 years ago i had a perfect person (so i thought) it was going fine i actually loved her but then it finished we went out again but all she wanted was sex (i stupidly said no coz im a fool (well i woz like 12-13)!). Then for no reason she dumped me (well coz i said i was moving to america in like 10 years) and she started hating me and she thought i hated her, even though i loved her still, how many of u did that happen to? Now i found an even better person but i don't no how to tell her coz she's like a really good friend (though it would be good too keep her as a friend rather than ruin the whole thing) (oh well) and she's kinda taken aswell Grrr, any help plz?!

Celeb

[Wonko The Sane]

Um...no help for you...I'd just like to tell you that I'm currently involved in a something or other with a someone or other that everyone thinks is wrong for me...and my head's a complete mess...but I'm happy. The End.
*knows she makes no sense and doesn't care*

[Ramagna]

Celebthol, I think you got to know better if it's serious, my ex-girl-friend doesn't talk to me any more, although we were good friends before, and I swear I didn't dump her, I just don't know why she reacted like this, anyways, I'm happy again, but it's said to lose a friend cause you start a intmate relationship...

And Wonks, I think you do make sense, and that is a serious post from me, not that you think I'm only crazy...

(should I always tell you if I'm serious? :p )

[Wonko The Sane]

So what do I do? Carry on with something all my friends think I'm crazy to carry on with and worry about me for because they think it's completely wrong and yet be deliriously happy? Or do I end it and be miserable and hurt for a while and then move on? I don't think I could forgive myself if I didn't give this a chance...but then again...who's to say I know what I'm doing anyway?
*falls apart*

[Celebthôl]

why is he bad? if hes a user then dump him, if he has a bad personlaity then work on it just my views

Celeb

[Wonko The Sane]

Neither. He's a good guy and he has a great personality...

[Celebthôl]

so u y does no-one like him?

[Wonko The Sane]

They don't know him really...plus he's a bit older than I am...and they don't trust that.

*suddenly wants to change the subject*

What about you, don't you want to talk about YOUR relationship problems.

[Celebthôl]

*gets point and starts to bore every1 with his banter*

well mine suck i cant ask/tell the girl i like coz she's like a good friend and i may ruin it all and i'd rather have her as a friend than not at all, and when i got dumped the girl thinks i automatically hate her oh well bored yet?

Celeb

[Wonko The Sane]

Just so long as we aren't talking about me I'm happy.

Do you have any idea about how she feels about you?

[Celebthôl]

nope and if i asked her then she'll probably go crazy at me and hate me, i think she just wants to be friends at the moment but it may change over time. (i hope)
but do you think she would go crazy if i asked her "is there a chance we could ever go out"?

[Legolam]

Speaking from experience of being "that girl", I would say don't rush it. People tend to do the opposite of what you want if you pressure them and losing a good friend hurts almost more than losing a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Wonks - don't dump the guy because your friends don't like him, that's just stupid. But just be careful with your feelings and don't fall for him just because your friends think he's unsuitable.

Do I make any sense today, or is it just too early in the morning for this?

[legoman]

Gawd, I've realised whyI hate these threads...

I sympathise with you wonko, and especially with celeb, but I have no advice which is any use what so ever... you see why I hate them, no ideas in this department. sorry.

[Ramagna]

I would just say, Love, between two persons, can never be bad... :)
Just the thing that we make out of it... :(

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Celebthôl
but do you think she would go crazy if i asked her "is there a chance we could ever go out"?

I've never been "that girl" as Legolam puts it so I can't say. I'd be flattered, but at the same time if it were one of my truly platonic friends I'd be a bit put off too. I wouldn't stop being friends with him though, not unless he insisted we date or stop talking in which case if I really didn't have feelings for him we'd have to stop talking. But I've been in your position many times Celeb, and I've never said a word. Too hard. Not once has it worked out either. *shakes head* Sorry no advice.

Originally posted by Legolam
Wonks - don't dump the guy because your friends don't like him, that's just stupid. But just be careful with your feelings and don't fall for him just because your friends think he's unsuitable.

Do I make any sense today, or is it just too early in the morning for this?

I certainly don't like him just because my friends think he's unsuitable. I don't function like that...I like him for who he is. He means a lot to me and it's hard having my friends judge me about it because I'm happy and I want their support. It's hard to explain. It's not because he's a bad guy, it's that they think he might be, but they have no real reason to believe that other than they don't know him. Whenever I explain the whole messy circumstances surrounding our relationship they shake their heads and tell me I'm crazy and I should run away fast, but not because there's anything wrong with him, just because the situation is so strange to them. Anyway...I think I'm talking too much...I really don't want to talk about it...but then again I do. Most rational people tell me to get rid of him, but I can't or won't. The only person who's 100% go for it is a friend from work who's aunt was in a VERY similiar situation and had it work out perfectly. Everyone else is just...judgemental...and condemning w/o giving it a chance. *sigh*

Originally posted by legoman
Gawd, I've realised whyI hate these threads...
I sympathise with you wonko...
And I you...thanks, Legoman.

Originally posted by Ramagna
I would just say, Love, between two persons, can never be bad... :)


I really hope you're right, Ramagna.

[Celebthôl]

i tell u wat 2 do you stick with him (ur friends might be jealous) coz if u finish it u might regret it l8er for not giving it a chance, but its ur call.

[Wonko The Sane]

Well I can tell you for sure my friends aren't jealous. They should be cause he's wonderful, but they're not.
I will stick with him though...you're right. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't give it a chance.

[DGoeij]

Wonksy, I think if your friends really are your friends, they should give you and your boyfriend a chance. Especially since they do not even know him for real.
Usually in cases like this I'm one of those guys who dig a deep hole and wait till the storm passes. But I feel much safer 4000 miles away.:)

[Celebthôl]

and if it does go pear-shaped then u still got us at the forum, LOL
*goes serious (sp)* good luck with it anyways.

Celeb

[Walter]

Wonko, If an oldster may give an advice, trust your stomach! Not your head neither your heart alone might suit making such decisions...

[Wonko The Sane]

Yay! I'm glad I have your blessing! You're right though, they should give us a chance. They don't really know him and I don think they realise just how much he means to me either. They need to wake up and just say, "If it makes you happy go for it." But I appreciate that they're worried, I guess it means they care.

But Celeb, if it goes pear-shaped...well...hmm. I dunno what I'd do!

Thanks for the well wishes though! It means soo much to have people be supportive because really nobody else is...

Walter, you mean trust my gut feeling? Well I have my reservations because it's not like my friends concern means nothing, but I trust this guy, and I care about him a lot. He's wonderful...really. And my entire self says go for it.

[Celebthôl]

well then go for it, its not anyone elses call not ours or ur friends so go have fun!

Celeb

[Walter]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
Walter, you mean trust my gut feeling?Xacully! If your gut feeling says yes, go for it, but be careful anyway, don't let him break your heart :)

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Celebthôl
well then go for it, its not anyone elses call not ours or ur friends so go have fun!

Celeb

Thanks, I think I will! ;)

Originally posted by Walter
Xacully! If your gut feeling says yes, go for it, but be careful anyway, don't let him break your heart :)

:) I AM going for it...but I don't think I could stop him from breaking my heart as he's already got it and I think I'm too far gone on him to take it back, but I'll be careful. ;)


Now ENOUGH about this...we REALLY don't need to talk about this anymore!!! *Wants desperately to change the subject even though she LOVES talking about it and it in fact is her new favorite subject*

[Celebthôl]

*trys to change but recognises wonks has a new fav topic and wants to keep it goin* so erm wot is he like? n stuff

[Wonko The Sane]

*Grins* Shhh. I don't want to talk about it!
But he's amazing since you asked.
He's sweet, and affectionate, and adorable. But shhh...let's talk about something else!
I mean it! If he knew I was going on about him...

[Celebthôl]

hed do wot love u more coz he knows u care???

[Wonko The Sane]

Um...yeah...probably. :D
Shhhh.
I still don't want to talk about it!

[Kat]

After reading these pages of woeful stories of failed love and the conundrum that is twenty-something relationships (and my own pitiful romantic past)I have to say that perhaps one reason why relationships for us tweens are so horrible/confusing etc is that we overanalyse them.
We always worry about what the other person is thinking, what our friends say, are we doing the right thing, is he/she THE ONE, and if our significant other starts behaving strangely we get suspicious. Why cant we tweens just get on with it, go with the flow, be happy with what we have??
With so many marriages ending in divorce (in Oz its one in two)it seems we have a long and unhappy romantic future ahead. Sorry for being so pessimistic everyone, I think i am just bitter and twisted, and Wonks, go for it ;)

[Ramagna]

With so many marriages ending in divorce (in Oz its one in two)it seems we have a long and unhappy romantic future ahead. Sorry for being so pessimistic everyone, I think i am just bitter and twisted

I ever felt normal with my parents divorced, it's just todays life, but I'm an optimist, and perhaps theres a new force in our generation that will bring back life-long partnerships and romantic love...
By the way, I know some loving couples like that are together for a long time like DGoeji and his love... including me... :)

[Walter]

*steps on soapbox once again*

Live within a relationship IMO is a big compromise solution. If either or both partners are unable to give up wanting to realize 100% of their own ideas, goals, follies, identity, etc. the relationship is bound to fail sooner or later (or end up in a state were the partners don't care much about each other anymore).

The main reason - IMO however - why so many relationships fail and marriages end up in divorce these days, is that people no longer seem able to give up even the least bit of their own "identity", their own "interpretations" of what or how life "has got to be" in favour of a "common identity" of both partners.

The more egoistic one or both partners act, the harder will it become to find such "compromise solutions" over the years and the harder will it become to "maintain" te relationship as a whole. But if one is willing to give up a little bit of ones own single-"identity" in favour of a common-"identity" the reward can be a long-lasting, stable and wonderful relationship.

*steps off soapbox, scratching his head*

hmmm, I hope that didn't sound too much like "lecturing"...

[DGoeij]

Actually I like listening to 'Lessons in Life by Uncle Walter'.:D

I have to agree with you 100%. You may have 20 years ahead of you, but I mostly had the same experiences as you did. Not with my own relationships, but with those of other people. The basic idea of treating someone as good as you wish to be treated yourself works like a charm IMHO. (This one is even in the Bible isn't it?).

And you have to listen to eachother and work in favour of the two of you. I've learned to bite my tongue more often (snappy comments aren't always funny), for instance. And my girlfriend tries to speak up more often (I'm not very smart at figuring out I did something that annoyed her). It sure does increase the stability of our relationship. And I'm very happy about that. :)

[Wonko The Sane]

Wonks is in loooove!

[legoman]

tell him, I'm happy for him... how are you holding up?

[Wonko The Sane]

*looks surprised*

Me? Well if you DO mean me he knows you're happy for him...and I'm holding up BEAUTIFULLY! *beams*

[legoman]

surprised, cheers, honestly, am I not expected to say nice things here. cheek, I'll just go around being mean from now on...

[Wonko The Sane]

No! Not surprised because you were nice...surprised because you said anything.

Most people just ignore it...but thank you! We both appreciate it! And he's quite happy that you're happy for him!

[Elbereth]

Wonko and legoman...please stay on topic.

We have a thread set up in this guild specificly made for off topic discussions...either stop your banter here...or move it to the 'Permission to get off topic thread'

Thank you,

Elbereth
Guild Leader of the Periaur

[legoman]

Sorry Elbereth, but I thought we still were on topic.

[Wonko The Sane]

Me too! We were talking about my relationship...and I'm in my Tweens!! *is confused*

But ok...whatever you say!

[Ramagna]

I just won a bet anout his topic:

I've been to a friend of mine, and there was this girl as well, and I saw them together the first time, and when they were out of the room for a moment, I bet that they would come together, and the next day, he had no time for our Lord of the Rings - Roleplay, because he was huggung his new girl all the time in the same room where we were playing... :p

but although he skipped our traditional game time, I'm very happy for him... :)

(I will hit him for his disobeyance another time... ;) :p )

[Wonko The Sane]

:)
I'd just like to take this time to say that I took your advice and didn't get rid of this guy because of my silly friends' stupidity and things are going quite well...
And I'm quite happy.
Yay!
Sorry...just had to say that. Wonks's got it bad!

[Snaga]

Yay!

I just realised I have never ever been dumped. I think I must be very lucky to escape that fate so far...

[Wonko The Sane]

I've never been dumped either...
Hmm....

*Looks at Snaga* If things ever go sour there's going to be a major impasse in store for us!

[legoman]

Well I have been dumped, I think it's 2 1/2 times now.
I count one as 1/2 cos it was pretty obvious we were gonna break up, things hadn't been that great, so I was gonna tell her on the day we were back at school after christmas... but it was her birthday, so I decided then wouldn't be the nicest time ever to break up with someone.
So I was gonna wait till later in the week, and then she broke up with me instead. haha, If I was certain of that I could have broken up with her for her birthday, it would have been the best present I could've given her. Instead I bought her a really cool R2D2 watch that made realistic R2D2 noises, it was the best!!! But she wouldn't wear it... I guess we just weren't meant to be! haha.

[tookish-girl]

I was dumped 3 times. By the same guy. Which is why he's a ****. Actually he thinks he's God's gift to the guitaring world too, so that helps.

What is this new forum, guild type thing. i haven't being able to keep up with the changes in the site, just noticed that lots of my friends were here.

[Wonko The Sane]

Hmm...maybe that's cos R2D2 noises are so bloody annoying!

I've got a Star Wars Trivial Pursuit game and it has an electronic die that's in the shape of Artoo. And if you press his head he makes stupid beeping noises and a number is displayed on his belly.

Which is also dumb because you can't create a random number generator that simply so it's not really random if you think about it.

Dice are more random, so I stole the dice from my brother's Harry Potter game and now I use those.

Anyway...back to relationships...

I guess my last breakup could count as me being KIND OF dumped because even though I broke up with him he was the one that wanted to break up, not me.
But I still dumped him so I think I win...

I had to save SOME face, right?

Tookish, are you SURE you're allowed to say "****" on the forum!? I'd be careful if I were you!

[Ramagna]

@ tooish girl: I love the banana avatar of yours!

and to keep on topic: Yes I have an relationship with bananas, and I think it started on this Online Game called Starkingdoms were I was the founder of The Guardians of the Happy Bananas and...

[legoman]

nice, bananas, well kept on topic...

Which is why he's a ****. Actually he thinks he's God's gift to the guitaring world too, so that helps. haha, laughing a lot right now... really tempted to point out that I never dumped you once never mind 3 times... hehe.. but I think that could cause strange conitations so I'll leave it... hahaha.

How dare you say R2 noises are annoying!!!!???? how dare you, it'd be better than having a camp R2 telling you the time. Anyway I wouldn't have minded if she'd got bored of it, she didn't even put it on!

Oh and you can make an electronic dice that simply, its a standard project for GCSE electronics, boring and simple and you don't have to understand it to get an A. what a subject!

still, back to the topic... bananas...

[Ramagna]

I hope you don't have something against the poor, wonderful bananas... ? :mad: :p ;)

[legoman]

nothing, against bananas, its just bananas don't laugh at my jokes so I can't really have relationships with them, I need to feel appriciated otherwise its just not going to work is it? (that was a retorical question, please do not try to answer insinuating something between me and bananas, there really is nothing, sure there was that one time at the party, but it was christmas and it'd been drinking...)

OK I think we might be pushing the topic thing a little, and I don't want to be responsible for deletion, so any love stuff going on down round here (in hindsight I could have phrased that better).

[Legolam]

I may have some "love stuff" going on right now, but I'm going to leave it at that until I know for sure :)

[Snaga]

I watched a film called 'The Bandits' last night, which was your basic girl meets bandits, girl gets romantically & serially involved with bandits.. type story, quite amusing for those who like such things.

However....

We all know there are guys who leave, and guys who are left. And we all know which kind of guy I am says itchy twitchy allergic nervous bandit. (The girl then says 'I'm not leaving you', kisses him and leaves...)

Is this true? And is it the same for girls? Discuss.

[Elbereth]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We all know there are guys who leave, and guys who are left. And we all know which kind of guy I am
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is this true? And is it the same for girls? Discuss.


Based on my own experience and from giving numerous girls relationship advice, I can say that yes...this statement can apply toward girls as well.

There are some girls who leave (like myself), and other girls who are left. Gender is not a factor on what kind of person you are...it is more personality. A cautious person will be more likely to leave, while a more pasionate person will stay and risk being left by their partner.

[Ramagna]

I'd like to add that my opinion is, the wonder of a really long and happy realationship is that you have to work on it... the endless bond comes not out of nowhere, I think one shouldn't just let go of it...

I hope I wasn't confusing you with my pretty bad knowledge of english grammar... :confused: :p

[Snaga]

the endless bond comes not out of nowhere is an example of the usually frowned upon double-negative, but in this case it sounds quite poetic.:)

[Ice Man]

I used to be a guy who's leave. Not because I was cautious, but because I was an a--hole. Before I started to date my gf, I was a rat. I would "score" with as many women as possible and I would completely ignore their feelings.

I just wanted to have fun, and I didn't care about anyone. I was an a--hole, but a damn charming and seducive one!

But I'm a better man now. I have my gf and I'm a serious man now. ;)

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Ramagna
the endless bond comes not out of nowhere

Yes...quite...*starry look crosses her face as she gazes into the skies*

This love talk is making Wonks all misty eyed!

[Elbereth]

I appreciate your honesty Arcanjo.

And in some strange way that gives me hope...that even the 'players', the "a**holes" out there can be someday tamed and made into honest men.

[legoman]

...or women!





(yes very reminiscent of monty python, but still a good point I feel)

[Ice Man]

I already posted this at another forum, I'll post it here just so you can get to know a bit of who I am, and how I was. And it's a bit related about Love and relationships in my tweens...


quote from myself, already posted at another forum

Nops. I'm not that bad. There was this one time when André, my best friend and I, went to church drunk. But we didn't go to the lecture, we went there for the weekly Tuesday night basketball game...

You are lucky, becausde I'll let you know how I got involved with church and some other facts of my life which I like to remember...

It all started in 1998, my best friend, Sérgio, was already a member at church and he started to take me to play basketball there. So I went there to play basketball.

Soon, I found out that the girls there were attracted to me, because I was like "a guy from the outside", since I wasn't a member of the church. I would play basketball there every Tuesday, and then the girls and the guys would get to know the stuff I did, which they of course didn't do, since they lived by other standards than I.

Now that I look at it, I figure the girls thought I was the charming bad guy, while the guys thought I was just another guy who didn't see the light.

Anyhow, it only took some weeks before I started to have my small affairs with the girls there. And in few months I had unique reputation the people there, I was like the church's stud.

In June 1998, I met the girl who today is my gf, but back then she had a boy friend, who I today despise.

In August 1998, my other best friend, André, and I got drunk watching football on a Tuesday afternoon and we decided to go play some drunk basketball at church. It was fun, but it was devastating to my image. Ever since, I'm like the bad guy at church.

But being a bad guy didn't stop me from being a stud. From September 1998 to August 1999, I used to date a girl from church, who was, at that time, my gf's best friend. But, at that time, my gf dated her boy friend, so I didn't even bother to come over her, we would just talk and keep our distance.

Even though I was dating this girl from church, I cheated on her like at least 40 dozens of times (I'm no joking with the number). Very rarely would I actually go out with her, I used to spend more time with André and Rafael and I'd see my half gf only once or twice a week.

Call me an asshole, because I was a big one. I never gave a **** about Marina's (the girl I was dating) feelings, even though I always knew she actually liked me. One of the things I regret today is having fooled so much and for so long with her.

So, in August of 1999, Gisela, my gf, broke up with her boyfriend at that time. Since she was kind of alone, she imediately turned to her best friend, Marina. But, in the matter of a few weeks, I lost interest in Marina and became very interested in Gisela.

Soon, both Gisela and Marina were interested in me, and they had a fight over me. All three of us continue to go to church, but Marina and Gisela don't talk to each other, and I don't talk to Marina anymore.

I started to date Gisela in the end of August, and in November 12th, 1999, we officially started to date each other.

I'm a decent man now. I never cheated on my Gisela, I have ceased with all the follishness I used to do (get drunk, go after one night stands, ignore other people's feelings) and I'm glad I'm with her. But I'm not glad with what I did to Marina.

Anyhow, ever since Sérgio took me to play the Tuesday night basketball, I never stopped going to church, and now I'm a member of it, and I beleive it's where I belong.

For those who could stand to read all of this, thank you for your attention.

[tookish-girl]

You do indeed rock, Ancanjo.

Isn't love a crazy little thing? Might have to write a song about that, it's catchy.
Well, since so many of you have had problem with the whole "Love thang" I think that muy bananas should be able to go round and cheer you all up! Oh dear, would that mean I had slutty bananas though?

Oh and going back a page of posts, legoman, you are God's gift to the guitaring world and not just think you are, which is why you didn't dump me 3 times and are not my last boyfriend. I think that makes sense!

[Wonko The Sane]

Go Arcanjo! Mad props!!

Tookish, yeah...that DID make sense. Just so you know.

[legoman]

Oh and going back a page of posts, legoman, you are God's gift to the guitaring world and not just think you are, which is why you didn't dump me 3 times and are not my last boyfriend. I think that makes sense!


Hmmm, hehehe, come home took, I miss you, no one says stuff like that to me here!
God's gift, hehe. haha, G it's G, I know its G shut up, I'm trying to play, I'll join in when the G comes, now where was I... Oh I missed it, whats next, D? lol. (OK I apologise, I find that funny, I was there, no one else here was, nevermind.) God's gift, hehe.

[Wonko The Sane]

Will God's Gift to Guitaring kindly write a looove song (spelled lurve song for the sake of Snaga's accent and insistence that that is how it should be spelled) for us to sing while we dance around the thread talking about snogging and relationships and such?

[tookish-girl]

Originally posted by legoman
G it's G, I know its G shut up, I'm trying to play, I'll join in when the G comes, now where was I... Oh I missed it, whats next, D?

Oh please tell me that was truth. Hahahahaahha!

"Did you learn anything about lead guitars today?"
"Well, you know i think i just deserve better than you"
"Happy Valentine's Day, Nat, have some photos of me."

Anyone else had exs like this or am I the lucky one?!?

[Wonko The Sane]

I have an ex like that...the only good thing about our relationship was that in the end I got to dump him...
So I can still say I've never been dumped.

He said some awful things to me...called me some awful things...

Mostly basically just thought he and his needs took precedence over the entire world's revolution and such.

PM me if you care to know what he said...cos I can't say it on the forum.

Let's just say it's bad enough that Snags has requested I never introduce the two of them as he'd totally kick my ex's @$$, or as Snags has been saying lately "biblical donkey". :)

[Ramagna]

Hey, Arcanjo, I think it's brave (I hope that's the right expression) of you to tell such an intimate thing...

What are... -edited- :D ?

[Snaga]

Ramagna... shhhh!

[legoman]

OK, now, since I'm a peaceful person I will take no action (you know, my flat mate attacked me yesterday - weird, I nearly lashed out, scary, I havent felt like that for years, not good, I didn't lash out though, good, then I gave him his flat keys back, and we told him were we'd hidden his radio, hehe), but I warn you, Tookish can get scary so I suggest you take that back Rammy or your in for some serious apologising!

anyway... what sort of song do you want wonks? blues, boring slushy type, standard fun song??? etc???

"Did you learn anything about lead guitars today?"
oooh, that one made me angry... oohh, the cheek, haha. I'll show him lead guitar.

but yeah the other thing happened but it wasn't dear Mr. L, it was actually Mr Walmsley in the middle of the final year mass trying to help me play my acoustic part in 'more than words' hehe. Brilliant, ask laura she was stood behind him.

[Wonko The Sane]

Tookish and Legoman aren't a couple! Doesn't Tookish have an American bloke now?

And to the other...SHHHH!!!

Legoman, please write ANY sort of song you like, and then we can go about joyfully singing it.

It can be the thread theme song, ok?

[Snaga]

Hmmm a question to Lego and Tookish...

What are the likely effects of confining the two of you in a small space together for 7 1/2 hours? Like my car for example? Is it safe?

[menchu]

I have fallen in love with a couple of forearms today... :rolleyes:
(yeassss, it's so important I must post it here)

[Warning! Warning! American blokes are double nasssssty. Hope she found the good apple of the box though!]

[Wonko The Sane]

Snaga, safe how?

Safe meaning if you leave them back there are they going to keep their hands to themselves and not beat eachother up?

Or safe meaning if you leave them back there are they going to keep their hands to themsleves and not feel eachother up?

Cos you didn't make that very clear! ;)

ANYway, Menchu, speaking of forearms, I like Snaga's arms. I'd show you a picture but he made me promise not to. :D

[Snaga]

I wish to understand any potential risks that might arise from this scenario.

* shudders *

[Ramagna]

It wasn't meant like that, just sometimes, I understand nothing any more, so I was just asking to get sure...
But I'm quiet now... :rolleyes:

[Ice Man]

tu-tu-tum tututpá (pa-wá pa-wá)
tu tum tu-tum pá (pa-wá pa-wá pá-nawn)
tu-tu-tum tututpá (pa-wá pa-wá)
tu tum tu-tum pá (pa-wá pa-wá pá-nawn)
tu-tu-tum tututpá (pa-wá pa-wá)
tu tum tu-tum pá (pa-wá pa-wá pá-nawn)
tu-tu-tum tututpá (pa-wá pa-wá)
tu tum tu-tum pá (pa-wá pa-wá pá-nawn)
tu-tu-tum tututpá (pa-wá pa-wá)
tu tum tu-tum pá (pa-wá pa-wá pá-nawn)

[menchu]

ssshhh, yeah, if you play some music we'll change the subject carefully... hehehe! :D

[Ice Man]

Sorry, that is what happens when I play with my little brotyher and let him use the PC.

[Wonko The Sane]

I think since Legoman and Tookish have been bestest friendsies for quite a while that they're not going to fight OR make out in your backseat, Snags. ;)

Next question. :D

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
I think since Legoman and Tookish have been bestest friendsies for quite a while that they're not going to fight OR make out in your backseat, Snags. ;)


Besides, backseats are rather uncomfortable places for both these activities. Unless you're really in the mood.:)

[Snaga]

The way I drive, survival will be their only concern... Muahahaha!:D

(Actually... I'm not that bad MOSTLY!)

Ramagna... don't be quiet. More noise please! I insist!:)

[legoman]

Gawd, do we have to have this conversation every two months, honestly, you people really don't get it...

If you're that worried just let me sit in the front, that way I can control the musical output anyway, which is good, also I'm good at navigating, yey me!

hmm, music, what shall I torture their ears with???

[tookish-girl]

I'm confused, I get the feeling Ramagna or someone said something to me or about me and it got deleted or edited and i want to know what it was. Come on and face me like a man!

Yes, it's true, me and lego are bestest buds and yes I do have a nice American boyfriend. I hope that's clear! Maybe I should put this in my signature, it would save a lot of explaining!

[Legolam]

As I see you have! :D I thought you two were going out when I first started talking to you here, but now I know differently!!

[legoman]

I don't date legoman. We are friends. Friends. Not dating. Friends.

hahaha, can you get that printed on a t-shirt?? It'd save time elsewhere.
hehe.

How many other people thought that? This is getting very weird, dare I say conspiracy, oh apparently I dare, it has no context but yes I dare to say it.

[Wonko The Sane]

Legoman, maybe you should write a song about it and sing it to your friends when they ask the inevitable question.

[menchu]

Wahahahaha! That'd be maaaaaarvellous. Give a dramatic chord after the 'Oh, lego, are you...?' line.

I kinda imagined that at the beginning, but kept my mouth shut. It's not that grave anyways, see, you both have such a great friend that people can't figure out it's normal (and what's normal, by the way?).
Another thing would be if your mum were mistaking it all the time on purpose :rolleyes:

[Wonko The Sane]

Yeah, like, "How's that nice Matt boy? You're dating him right?"

And then me having to say, "No, mum...I HAVE a boyfriend...and while I'd LOVE to date Matt he does NOT look at me like that. So I'll just sit tight with the boring bloke I have because I CAN'T STAND TO BE ALONE!!!"

I grew out of that phase, btw...I feel awful...I wasn't too nice to that boyfriend.

[menchu]

Heh-heh-heh! I wouldn't say this if today were another day, but... yeah, nasssssty boyssssss, he surely did something to deserve it. *evil grin*

(I need help, anybody who knows how to get a couple of forearms off my mind? :( )

[Wonko The Sane]

No...I have the same problem... :D

[Snaga]

* is baffled *

If your partner likes features/aspects of you and ascribes to those features qualities that are blatantly not true, should you decide they are delusional, and back off?;)

[Wonko The Sane]

Yes. :(

[menchu]

Uh-oh... :o And if you only like his forearms? :D I know it's very weird, it's like... well, it's hard to explain. Bet you never had such an obsession. :D

Erm... so how is it going with you, guys? Any strange stories to tell? Did you ever fall for a cartoon?

[Wonko The Sane]

Can I change my answer to ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

And I like Snaga's forearms...The End.

Ooh, I had a crush on Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks when I was young.
There was one scene where he was in the shower...Yum... ;)

[Walter]

Originally posted by DGoeij
Besides, backseats are rather uncomfortable places for both these activities. Unless you're really in the mood.:) You guys are lucky that the VW Beetles aren't as popular anymore, as they were some 25 years ago ;)

[Wonko The Sane]

No...but let me tell you...the back of a Ford Tempo isn't all that comfortable either. ;)

[Elbereth]

Ok now! That is just too much information guys...Gotta keep the thread clean... if this discussion keeps going on in the direction that it is moving...we will surely loose our safe PG13 rating.

So for the sake of changing the subject...

What way is the best way to break up with someone?

Discuss...

[DGoeij]

Originally posted by Elbereth
So for the sake of changing the subject...

What way is the best way to break up with someone?

Discuss...

Asap for sure. Or at least discuss the doubts you may have when they bother you. Honesty is at least the best way in all dealings with others. But I don't think there's a best way.

[menchu]

I suppose communication is always the best thing, for any kinds of problems. At least you have to let the other half know... (well, that's what it is all about, menchu...) Erm, yes.

[Elbereth]

Do you think it is better to break up with someone to their face...or by other means?

I personally think it is best to break up with the person face to face...however, I rarely ever take my own advice. I tend to write very long goodbye letters explaining why the relationship is not working. Granted, they are very good letters, tactful but sternly written. And I always end the letter on a kind note, because I hate to end a relationship with bad feelings. I also prefer writing letters, because that way the person will know what went wrong...and learn from their mistakes. (I actually have saved some of my letters...and I have shown them to a few of my close friends who have all highly praised them. ) But also, I do the letter writing, because I really hate confrontation...and if I can help it...I usually try to avoid conflicts. At least by giving them the letter...I don't have to see their reaction...and I won't feel inclined to pity them and take them back.

[legoman]

You've gotta do it face to face or its just wrong, but NEVER do it while the person is halfway through writing a song, because that song tends to go sadistic and he may begin to sing about bodies hanging from the ceiling in his bedroom and ripping off his own arms, and then describe how the devil is a woman and is going around ripping out everbodies soul... erm, just you know, erm, well, anyway...

To answer an earlier thought about my mum asking questions, my parents NEVER talk about the idea of having a girlfriend. They do talk about people who they think you are going out with more than they talk about other friends, but they never say anything more.

[Legolam]

Yup, face to face is definitely the best way to do it. I've broken up with someone over the phone and listening to them sob down the line is just horrible. I'll always feel guilty about that. Mind you, being dumped face to face isn't exactly nice either. I really don't think there's a best way to break up, just make sure that you're honest and do it for the right reasons.

[Ramagna]

As I broke up with my ex-girl-friend, it was face-to-face, and we both wept a lot of tears, perhaps because it were the both of us that ended it... I suppose there's never a good way to break up, but face to face is really important I think...

[Wonko The Sane]

*Rolls eyes at gratutitous horn tooting*

ANYway, face to face is best, but I've broken up with two guys..once multiple times...and with him I was away at college so it was over the phone or the internet or whatever was handy.
Cold I know...but I should've ended it sooner.


Anyway, I'm fairly certain I won't have another chance to do any dumping...so this matters not to me.

[legoman]

damn it, I wish I had some one to break up with, grrr. Don't you hate it when your mate goes on about how he's in a relationship where this girl really likes him, he likes her and they got on with each other and each others family really well, and then he goes, but I don't think its working, I feel like I'm stringing her along, grrr, I'd kill that guy if he wasn't a british champion of tang su do! blooming martial arts.

sorry just realised I was ranting, well it seemed like a good place for it... blah!

[Wonko The Sane]

That does suck...
I mean when everything goes well but for some reason the guy can't commit...
Or won't commit...
Or is a jerk who uses her for only one thing and then cheats on her with her later-to-be-best friend and goes around telling everyone all sorts of awful things about the girl...
And calls her names...
And yells at her...and generally treats her like ****...

Yeah. That sucks.

[legoman]

OK just a note, when I post on here ignore it please, my opinions change every day, and well, Wonkos post scared me.

[Snaga]

OK I will ignore your posts on this thread.

OK so now I should ignore your request to ignore your posts. SO now I can take notice of them again. But now that means I have to ignore them again.

Help I'm stuck in a logical conundrum!

You should tell you friend to explain how he feels to the girl. He is confused by the sounds of it, which is often the case. He should just explain his feelings, and help her to understand. Then maybe it will continue, or maybe not. But at least he won't feel bad.

* sends flowers to Wonks *:)

[Legolam]

Congratulations to you and Wonks, Snaga. At least some Tweens can get their relationships to work :rolleyes:

And what's it 3 weeks till? Or should I ask?

[Wonko The Sane]

3 weeks FROM our engagement. :)

And thank you, darling! *Takes the flowers and puts them in water*

I gave good relationship advice the other day!

Snaga, I told you about Jackie right?

Yeah..it all worked out!! :) Everything worked out perfectly!

Almost...;)

[Snaga]

Yay Jackie! And go you Auntie Wonks;)

Originally posted by Legolam
Congratulations to you and Wonks, Snaga. At least some Tweens can get their relationships to work :rolleyes: Oh dear, is all not well Legolam? That would be sad.:(

[Wonko The Sane]

Yes, I give good advice.

*Turns with rapt attention to Legolam*

Are you having boy-trouble?

Shall I beat him for you? :D

[Legolam]

No no, everything's fine. In fact, he's coming on holiday with me at Easter. I just meant that we've filled 13 pages with mainly moans about relationships, and finally one is going right!

Wonks - thanks for the offer to beat him, but that won't be necessary right now. He's really not all that bad ;). Although still not on the forum godammit :rolleyes:

[tookish-girl]

My relationship's going great!
I just have an Atlantic Ocean that's rather in the way. Wonko and snaga I'm sure will understand this feeling!

And besides, Legolam's boyfriend is cool!

[Legolam]

And besides, Legolam's boyfriend is cool! Yay me! And yay Shaun!

Shaun, if you're reading this, would you hurry up and join?!

[Snaga]

Yeah Shaun... Join, *****!!;)

(That was fully justified since he called me that... Snaga never forgets!)

[Wonko The Sane]

I thought you said he was cool, Legolam, Tookish...why did he call Snaga a *****?!

And yes, Tookish, Snaga and I fully understand just how much this stupid Atlantic Ocean sucks.
Although while there's only 3,000 miles between you and New Hampshire Snaga and I have 5,000 miles to contend with...
Which means the Atlantic Ocean and the ENTIRE REST OF THE COUNTRY!

*Fumes*

Oh...and I saw a bride and groom display in a store window today and started crying.
I feel vulnerable.

Emigration please?!?!

[Legolam]

It's OK, he calls everyone that. The funniest thing was that he did it within about an hour of meeting everyone, and Merry remarked that it was good we're all comfortable with each other after so short a time!

[Snaga]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
Oh...and I saw a bride and groom display in a store window today and started crying.
I feel vulnerable.

Emigration please?!?! Oh baby! Don't cry! * cuddles *

New topic has to be how to make long-distance relationships work. (Answer: move closer!!!)

[Celebthôl]

haha, nice one Snags...

well for me i have totally given up on relationships, im forever picking the wrong person :( :( (damn there isnt a crying smilie)
now i like a girl who is taken and if i make a move on her her boyfriend will undoubtably cain my head in with a metal pole, (hes like a six foot brick-$H|T-house), then theres the pther girl who doest like me like that, guh i hate it all im never going to try again for a relationship! (except when i move to America and me and Oren will start it up properly!)but who the hell knows when that will be :( , i need a g/f NOW!!! :( :( :(

Thôl

[Aulë]

Watch out Snags!!
Wonks might be getting cold feet!!!

[legoman]

hohoho, women - pah.

yeah where is shaun? He's rather slow of the mark on the joining front.

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by snaga1
Oh baby! Don't cry! * cuddles *

New topic has to be how to make long-distance relationships work. (Answer: move closer!!!)

Thanks, sweetie. *cuddles*

Yay! I'll be there in February! YAY!

And no Pippin-Took. No cold feet here.
No more than usual actually...
My feet are always cold.

But about marrying Snaga....no cold feet there. :) I'm as warm about that as can be.
:) I can't wait.
*sigh* He makes me so happy!

*coughs and straightens up* Sorry...yes...erm...long distance relationships...

Ooh...Thôl...I'm sorry to hear about your relationship problems.
I'll be out in February with my friend Meghan.
Maybe you should meet her. ;)
Or my sister's about your age.
You could meet her. ;)

[Snaga]

Thol... I'd suggest you should drop both those choices. One is (a) taken, and (b) high risk... if she's interested in you she should dump the cave troll first. The second just doesnt want you... no point in getting all unrequited now is there?

Anyway... don't try for a 'relationship'. Who wants that? You should try for fun and doing cool stuff with someone who you like. Without the pressure of trying for a 'relationship' you might have more luck.

Just a thought... I don't know who the hell I am to dish out advice tho... Snaga the Lurve-Orc doesnt really have such a wonderful track record. But I never got anywhere by 'dating'... ever...

[menchu]

When you want things to happen, they never do.
When you don't want things to happen, they do.
-This Murphy was very clever to list his Laws-

[Celebthôl]

Oh guess what, i found a new girl she was amazing...and now we have fallen out if that isnt going to put a guy off after all hes been through i dont know wot will! :(

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by snaga1
Thol... I'd suggest you should drop both those choices. One is (a) taken, and (b) high risk... if she's interested in you she should dump the cave troll first. The second just doesnt want you... no point in getting all unrequited now is there?

Anyway... don't try for a 'relationship'. Who wants that? You should try for fun and doing cool stuff with someone who you like. Without the pressure of trying for a 'relationship' you might have more luck.

Just a thought... I don't know who the hell I am to dish out advice tho... Snaga the Lurve-Orc doesnt really have such a wonderful track record. But I never got anywhere by 'dating'... ever...

No, you didn't date me and look where we are! ;) You just jump right...you know what? I'm not going to say what I was going to say.
:)

Anyway, MWAH!

And Thôl, girls are crafty and some of us are mean, and most of us play games.

You either say, "Screw it! I'm not playing your games" and find a girl who plays fewer games (no girl just doesn't play games. we all do it. even if they're little and harmless ones.) and will tell you how she feels straight up, or you play the games.

It's really a difficult choice as neither one guarantees anything.

[Elbereth]

I just watched the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days"...(Great movie by the way...I definately recommend it!)...however that has inspired me to ask you this question...

What things have you done that has driven a guy/girl away?

or

What has someone done to you, that made you want to break up with them?


As for me...I'm guilty of one of the cardinal sins of dating....

Talking about my past relationships.

Yes I know I shouldn't do it...and yet it pops into my mouth...and once it does, I don't know how to stop myself. It is just that when I get comfortable with someone...I feel that I can talk about anything with that person...and then I ruin it.... :rolleyes: *sigh*

And what turns me off...is one of two things.

1. A bad kisser - yes boys, it is so important to learn how to kiss a girl correctly. And I'm a fairly patient person, I will try to work with a guy...but if he can't get it...yikes...that boy has got to go!

2. Smokers - nothing is worse than going out with someone who smells like an ashtray...and I don't care how many pieces of gum they chew or how much cologne they drench themselves with to cover up the smell...a non-smoker can tell...and it is just gross!

[Elbereth]

Here is a question for all of you who have found love.

How do you really know that you are in love with that person...I mean really in love?

Being the skeptical woman that I am...I have always doubted my love for people. It's not love...it has to be infatuation...or...I'm in love with the thought of him...or the relationship...but I'm not acutally in love with 'him'.

Has anyone else had these thoughts? And am I a terrible person for being so jaded? :(

[menchu]

Hehe, I wonder if that 'finding love' condition means having a couple, because I don't. :p

I'd say it is just something you know, without material proof... And being the 'scientific' nitwit I try to be, using such criteria to view all matters, that is quite a conflict inside. *

Why should it be called 'terrible'? Doubts are necessary IMO.

*You just wait till I learn the theory based on ions and chemical reactions in our brains that is being developed. :D

[legoman]

i thought this could amuse us all for a bit. I havent done it yet - mainly cos they put it on TV at the same time as the last episode of 'taken' - which is very cool!!! that bald guy is a genius!!!

But, the BBC did another test the natio thing (they've been putting quizzes on BBC 1 to test IQ and general knowledge and stuff - I think they're great-but only cos I got a high IQ, about 140 I think) anyway, the one they put on on saturday was a 'relationship test' you can find it at:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/testthenation/

so go and see what you get, I think its supposed to say how good you are in relationships, I don't see me getting high in this one... haha. anyway. I just thought it seemed quite approriate.

And to quickly answer elbereths question - never been in love, thought I might have been once, questioned it, realised I wasn't. the end.

[tookish-girl]

Whooooo-hoooo! I got 173 points! That's better than my actual IQ!

I got higher than I perdicted myself, apparently I'm "Lucky in Love" and have a healthy and balanced approach to relationships. Sounds like some sort of diet actually. Well, if only they knew!
Still, cool quiz.

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Elbereth
Here is a question for all of you who have found love.

How do you really know that you are in love with that person...I mean really in love?

Being the skeptical woman that I am...I have always doubted my love for people. It's not love...it has to be infatuation...or...I'm in love with the thought of him...or the relationship...but I'm not acutally in love with 'him'.

Has anyone else had these thoughts? And am I a terrible person for being so jaded? :(

Sorry to be predictable and trite but: You just know.
I can't describe it any better...I used to ask the same question.
"How do you know..." but I've found true love and the answer as well.
You just know.

Hehe. Snaga and I took that quiz while I was on the phone and he was watching the show. :)

[Celebthôl]

hehe i took the test and got 181 :D ima Ace of Hearts :D
my scores were:

Love = 34

Being together = 34

Differences = 36

Support = 39

Intimacy = 38

:D

and it says:

You should shine in romantic relationships, while most people are generally good at having relationships, you seem to be exceptional in this respect, at least in terms of your answers to the questions. As a consiquence people are likely to enjoy their relationship with you.

Thôl

[Wonko The Sane]

I'm 186. :) Ace of Hearts.

Love = 36

Being together = 37

Differences = 37

Support = 39

Intimacy = 37

[Elbereth]

Wow! I got much much better than I thought I would.

I scored a 187

Ace of Hearts :D


Love: 38
Being Together: 38
Differences: 38
Support: 39
Intimacy: 34

[Aulë]

Beware! I'm only a 164! (Lucky in Love)

*Watches as all the females flee....*


Love: 38
Being Together: 31
Differences: 31
Support: 35
Intimacy: 29

You have a healthy and balanced approach to relationships. Like most people, you are generally good at having romantic relationships with other people. We sometimes know what we should do in a situation, but we don't always act accordingly. So the way we think about ourselves may not always be reflected in the way we behave. Hopefully, this isn't the case with you.

[legoman]

Hmmm, I got 180, which was exactly double what I predicted.

love-39
being together-35
Differences-37
Support-36
Intimacy-33


But then I havent had a lot of experience in a lot of the stuff mentioned so I just put down what I thought sounded right at the time. Still thats not bad.

[Legolam]

Well, I did this when it was on the TV on Saturday, and I only got 149. Shows you what they know!

Funniest thing was, Shaun got less!

[menchu]

Dammit *mumbles* They've won me! I got like 16-something, so I didn't do too bad. Anyways, I need my own spoonfuls of passion... so I suppose a test made by English people must have given less points to me, wahahahahaha!!!

*looks around and just sees British people... and an Australian and several Americans*
R-R-R-R-RRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[Snaga]

I got 180 as well.:)

[Aulë]

Oh my god!!! There is an Australian here???:eek: The hideous monster will devour us all!!
ARRrrrrrrrg! Flee! Run for the hills! Fly!!!

[legoman]

Hmm, is it possible to run away from yourself? does that just eman you never stop running.

Yeah, all the best people get exactly 180, no more no less. Just ask snaga, haha.

hmm, though I have come to the decision that the test was a silly one, and not really a fair judge of realationship *insert appropriate word that I cannot think of here* but it was quite fun...

[Wonko The Sane]

I feel cool.
I scored high in "intimacy"...Snaga...I love you, babe! Mwah!

hehe. That's probably why. No fear of public snogging! ;)

[greypilgrim]

*still single*anyone else single periaur? I for one don't like it! hhmmph...oh well, there's someone out there for me!
(a female, thanks but no thanks dude!) heheh...

and public display of snogging (i think that's kissing, right?) is a good thing...it puts love in the air! snog on!

[Elbereth]

Next weekend, my friends are trying to set me up with some guy, and although I should be happy and excited about this...I am just not. :rolleyes: I met this guy once before, at a dinner party at my house a couple of weeks ago...and although he is kinda of attractive and friendly...I didn't really feel too many sparks there. But for the sake of putting myself out there again, I agreed to "a date" with him. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: *sigh* I guess I will have to make the best of it...Wish me luck!

[legoman]

Good luck.

Haha, but if it doesn't work out don't forget, all the best people are single, have been for a while and are considering becoming monks cos there would be more chance of meeting women.

[greypilgrim]

heheh...

Elbereth that guy should thank his lucky stars for having a chance at a "date" with you. Good luck.

And single people who stay single and flirt are happier and have more fun than people who get stuck in a relationship they hate. yuck.

what the.... is snogging???

[legoman]

what about those who stay single but don't flirt?

but the s-word. That would be kissing vigirously.

[greypilgrim]

Those single people stay lonely cold and lost I guess (I stole that quote from another TTF member!)
:o Yikes! I'd snog someone sometime hehe...just for fun though!:D Someplace funny, like at a library or something...oh shucks..:rolleyes:

[menchu]

You know, Greypilgrim, the fact that you -I am just taking you as an example for you said what will help me elaborate (haha, elaborate...) this post- would snog someone for the simple aim of fun is what I think makes people like me want to be 'single' and probably 'not to flirt' (when that thought is present in my head)
I am not sure if that is the reason that moves Legoman too, but I wouldn't call it 'cold' for I state I am one of the warmest, most passionate people among the ones I know. I suppose it is just a self decision that never stops growing inside of you and is conditioned by the experiences you have. And yes, it could also harbour a certain bit of fear.

[legoman]

The girl has a good point.
Shame on you GP.

[Elbereth]

Oh...by the way, the "date" I had last weekend...

DIDN'T WORK OUT :rolleyes:

geesh! What a surprise!:rolleyes:

I guess, I should read your advice again Legoman. It was something about single people being the best people, wasn't it?
:rolleyes: *sigh*

[greypilgrim]

menchu: I'd snog in public (real quick-like)...just for fun, like a funny game for a minute heheh...ever see someone snog in a grocery store? That would be funny! Seriously, it's not a thing on my "to do list" it just sounded funny at first... I'd do it!

Elbereth: get him next time;) he'll come around I'm sure.

legoman: you are right!

[legoman]

Well I try

*tips hat in general direction of everybody*

[Snaga]

I'm suddenly feeling unwanted on this thread!:rolleyes: Not that I've had a date in more than a month... just phone calls... *sigh*

[Celebthôl]

awww there there Snags, i know how ya feel *pats his back*, it will all be better soon :)

[menchu]

*snigger* you complaining... *snigger again* But you're meeting soon, aren't ya? :) Yay yay yay, lalalaaaalaalaaaaaaaa

I would like to make a toast to Snags and Wonks and also a second one for Ramagna (although he's not honouring us with his presence lately) and this nice partner he's found, just because summer is coming and I feel like it, wahey! :) :) :)
CHEERS!
*dives into a huge Sprite tank*

[Wonko The Sane]

Don't feel left out sweetie....

This thread is about love and relationships, not necessarily lack thereof. ;)

Anyway, speaking of snogging in grocery stores...It's ok...snogging in the airport is better. :)

[legoman]

you know wonks, with all that snogging, you're gonna miss out on all the sprite!!!

Sprite rocks.

[legoman]

OK I apologise for posting twice and all that, but I am finally going to use this thread to my advantage, since in my usual style I manage to avoid all relationship talk etc (not good with that).
But I need help. This has been bugging me since friday night.

Does this situation make me strange:

I'm in a nightclub, dancing to madness at the time actually - house of fun, with a load of my mates from uni, most of the other people there are much older then us as tends to happen at the 80's nights, but it was fun. This girl starts dancing right in front of me, like between me and the rest of my friends. now my initial reaction here is 'thats a bit daft, I guess I'll just move' then one of my friends pushes me towards her and it suddenly clicks that she's trying to dance with me. Then I suddenly stop moving all together and look at her weird, then at my friends then back at her. I was totally confused and had no idea what to do. Then she looked at me like I was a complete loser and walked off.

Now usually I just laugh at this stuff, but when your class mates reckon she was the most attractive girl in the club and you can hardly even remember her, that can't be right.

hmmm, just pondering.

[Legolam]

Go Martin! Girls generally don't go up to guys in clubs, so you were obviously doing something right! I think the idea in that situation is just to keep cool, keep dancing and not worry about anything. You've just got to go for it if you think she's interested. And go back next week! But hey, if you don't remember her, she probably wasn't that special, simple as that.

If it's any help, apparently I got chatted up by some guy in a club the other week and I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE! Now that's stupid. Shaun told me the next morning that all my friends noticed and they were just watching me to see what I would do. I don