What's wrong with Celeborn?

[Ithrynluin]

Many people have stated that they dislike Celeborn, both in the book and in the film. Why is that exactly? I like Celeborn in the book and I think he was played well in the movie. Any comments?

[Shion]

I think he is disliked in the movie because:
(a) His importance (and dialogue) is so severely reduced. I don't need to explain this, as I'm sure most people here have read the book and noticed a considerable difference in the amount he spoke. :D
(b) The way he was portrayed, which is an extension of the way the film portrays Lothlorien in general- brooding and ice-y.

Personally, I thought the voice and delivery of the single line of dialogue was quite effective, and in-keeping with the mood of the scene. I also liked the character in the book.

I was quite surprised to see him so frequently mentioned in the "worst played character in FotR (http://www.thetolkienforum.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=6358)" thread. It's a 10-second part- although that (in addition to the coldness of the scene) could well be precisely the reason people have reacted so strongly.

-Bon

[LadyGaladriel]

IMHO I think that Celeborn was played badly and I also think in the book he was very cold and stood in the shadow of Galadriel.

In the films he just kind of stood there loking at them and delived 1 single linewhich did not seem very convincing to say the least.


I personally think that the movie would have done better without him .

However if he had more lines and movement then it would have been a different story . I think that he would have come across much better.

He was though presented inw ays of clothes and make up to be suffient.

[Wolfshead]

I don't personally like Elves that much anyway, so I'm influenced by that. But I didn't like Celeborn in the book, he seemed arrogant and foolish. For example, when the mentioned the Balrog he went on about how he shouldn't have let them in. He needed Galadriel to right him. As for the film, we can't really comment on that, he was only there for show, looked a bit idiotic though. Talking of stupid-looking Elves, anyone see Haldir?!? Haha, what a bad casting. He's supposed to be a brave warrior not some kind of cross between Julian Clary and a Drag Queen...

[Ithrynluin]

But Celeborn had only a sentence or so in the movie and IMHO you can't really prove yourself as an excellent actor when your part is such a small one.I think his performance(however petite) was very good.

But is all this PJ's fault or Martin Csokas' fault (I think that's the actor's name)?

[Shion]

Originally posted by ithrynluin
But Celeborn had only a sentence or so in the movie and IMHO you can't really prove yourself as an excellent actor when your part is such a small one.I think his performance(however petite) was very good.

But is all this PJ's fault or Martin Csokas' fault (I think that's the actor's name)? Well, if you're asking who is 'responsible' for (a) slashing Celeborn's role so significantly, and/or (b) portraying him as so cold and distant- which I believe was done deliberately to fit the film's portrayal of Lothlorien- then I believe that this is more attributable to PJ than to Csokas. Whether you consider either of them to be at "fault" depends on whether you like or dislike the scene.

-Bon

[Rangerdave]

Originally posted by ithrynluin
But Celeborn had only a sentence or so in the movie and IMHO you can't really prove yourself as an excellent actor when your part is such a small one.I think his performance(however petite) was very good.


And yet if you compare his total ammount of dialogue in the book with that of the movie, Celeborn probably has a greater percentage of his original dialogue intact than any other character.

But yes, he did get a very small role. They could have saved some money by just having Cate Blanchett carry a cardboard standee of him around with her.

RD


Ps. I am so glad that JRR had the good sense to change is name to Celeborn from the original Teleporno.
I mean really, it sounds like someting you would see on late night cable or something

rd

[LadyGaladriel]

Originally posted by Rangerdave
And yet if you compare his total ammount of dialogue in the book with that of the movie, Celeborn probably has a greater percentage of his original dialogue intact than any other character.

But yes, he did get a very small role. They could have saved some money by just having Cate Blanchett carry a cardboard standee of him around with her.

RD


Ps. I am so glad that JRR had the good sense to change is name to Celeborn from the original Teleporno.
I mean really, it sounds like someting you would see on late night cable or something

rd


I never relised that about celeborn . Lol It kept me laughing for ages..

Teleporno! why did he change it tho? was it because of what you said?

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by Rangerdave
Ps. I am so glad that JRR had the good sense to change is name to Celeborn from the original Teleporno.
I mean really, it sounds like someting you would see on late night cable or something

rd
That, my friends, would be the funniest part of the entire book! Oh God, Teleporno, wait until my mates hear that 'un...

[Ithrynluin]

Originally posted by Rangerdave

Ps. I am so glad that JRR had the good sense to change is name to Celeborn from the original Teleporno.
I mean really, it sounds like someting you would see on late night cable or something

rd

Dave,"Teleporno" has no inappropriate or scandalous meaning for the elves! It only sounds so funny to us dirty humans!!!;)

[Rangerdave]

Well put Ithrynluin.

Of course its only dirty in English. Thats why its funny. The joke lies not in the actually words, but rather in the translation.

There are several examples of this, even within the English language. The fact that words can mean different things to different people is a great source of comedy.

RD

[Nóm]

ithrynluin I take back anything decent I ever said about PJ's Celeborn!:D

Alright, I gave him the benefit of the doubt before "he only has one line, give the guy a break." Well to heck with that. :p
During my first viewing of the EE I did like the part when he warned Aragorn, and that he had more lines in general.

But, I must say that he looks like a man trying to be an elf. :eek:
His speech is sometimes ugly, there is not one elvish thing about PJ's Celeborn. :eek:
He didn't respect Aragorn's personal space, he just lundged at him with his big man face. :eek: x :eek:
The way he moves reminds me more of an 80 year old man than an elf.
Not to be funny (though I do think that it is) but Galadriel keeping Celeborn around just reminds me of Norman Bates keeping his mother around. Not that she is psycho or would try to become Celeborn, but all of that preservation stuff. :D

Haldir, who I also thought little of in the original version, I grew to like with my first viewing of the EE. With further viewings of his lines though, I have come to think very highly of him, especially his voice which I think is just so unique and nice sounding that it kind of convinces me that he is an elf. :)
Galadriel, Haldir, and even Legolas, those are some elves for you, Celeborn? :confused: Something unnatural about PJ's Celeborn. :D

*seriously hides from ithrynluin*

[Niniel]

I agree with you Nóm, at first I didn't think much of Haldir but since I've seen the EE I really like him. It's a pity for the guy who played him that they've cut almost all his lines. I have begun to like Celeborn a bit more, but he still doesn't come near Galadriel. But there are more Elves that do not look like Elves at all (or the way I imagined them at least). For example, in the scene on the EE when the Fellowship is leaving Rivendell, behind Arwen there are some other Elves and most of them look really weird. They look more like hobbits dressed up as Elves than as Elves, who are supposed to be very beautiful...

[Talimon]

I may be in the minority here, but I never imagined the Elves being stunningly beautiful one-for-one. Surely more elegant then men, but not absolute super-models every step of the way. And another point worth mentioning: how would the contrast between Arwen/Galadriel and the rest of the elves look if all the others were incredibly beautiful? Those two are supposed to be fairer then the rest, regardless. I'm not saying Tolkien didn't agree with the statement that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but surely these two were more beautiful then any of the others. PJ probably played off of that.

[Niniel]

I didn't mean that all Elves were very beautiful (although JRRT says so), but I expected them to have some sort of 'persionality', something inside that makes them look wise and noble and that would turn your head if you saw them. The Elf extras look just like plain normal people, nice enough I'm sure, but nothing special that Elves are supposed to have.

[Thorin]

Originally posted by Nóm
Well so far we've only had brief glances at females elves other than Galadriel and Arwen. I agree that it would be wise to ensure that those two charactors would widely be considered more beautiful than any other female elves

And that's the reason why we don't see very many elven women, because Arwen and Galadriel ARE supposed to be the fairest. A chimpanzee in a short skirt would still be more attractive than Cate Blanchett and Liv Tyler. They'd have to bring out WWF wrestlers in drag to avoid upstaging Cate and Liv. :D

As was previously mentioned, Celeborn in the EE is a much better character. I thought he was as useless as teats on a bull in the theatre edition.

I must disagree with Talimon. Though not to be drop dead gorgeous by human standards, they still shouldn't be butt ugly like about 80 percent of the elves in the movie. They generated awe and majesty from the other races of ME. Look at how moved Gimli was at the beauty (inner and outer) of Galadriel. Mind you, considering that woman dwarves have beards, I guess that's not too surprising.

[Ariana Undomiel]

I had no problems with Celeborn in the books. However, I thought they just nicked his character in the film until I saw the EE DVD that just came out recently. They have lots more dialogue with him that really adds to his character and I like him more now.

- Ariana

[Ithrynluin]

Originally posted by Nóm
I see the elves (especialy the wisest of them), as being very beautiful.


So in your opinion wisdom and beauty go hand in hand?:)

Originally posted by Thorin
Though not to be drop dead gorgeous by human standards, they still shouldn't be butt ugly like about 80 percent of the elves in the movie.

I disagree. I don't think I saw even one ugly elf in the movie.Who are you referring to? If you mean Haldir and his brothers than I'll have to disagree with that too.;)

[Ithrynluin]

Originally posted by Nóm
ithrynluin I take back anything decent I ever said about PJ's Celeborn!:D

Alright, I gave him the benefit of the doubt before "he only has one line, give the guy a break." Well to heck with that.
During my first viewing of the EE I did like the part when he warned Aragorn, and that he had more lines in general.

But, I must say that he looks like a man trying to be an elf. :eek:
His speech is sometimes ugly, there is not one elvish thing about PJ's Celeborn.
He didn't respect Aragorn's personal space, he just lundged at him with his big man face.
The way he moves reminds me more of an 80 year old man than an elf.
Not to be funny (though I do think that it is) but Galadriel keeping Celeborn around just reminds me of Norman Bates keeping his mother around. Not that she is psycho or would try to become Celeborn, but all of that preservation stuff.

Haldir, who I also thought little of in the original version, I grew to like with my first viewing of the EE. With further viewings of his lines though, I have come to think very highly of him, especially his voice which I think is just so unique and nice sounding that it kind of convinces me that he is an elf.
Galadriel, Haldir, and even Legolas, those are some elves for you, Celeborn? :confused: Something unnatural about PJ's Celeborn. :D

*seriously hides from ithrynluin*

LOL! I haven't seen the EE unfortunately so I cannot comment on that!
But I wonder about you comment on Celeborn's moving like an old man - aren't elves supposed to move gracefully and all? Imagine them jumping around Tom-Bombadil-style!:D But since I haven't seen the EE I cannot be the judge of that!;)

[Ariana Undomiel]

Ummmmm ... I too saw the extended edition and I didn't think that Celeborn moved like an old man. He had some great lines and he was giving wisdom to Aragorn not invading his personal space. Galadriel was more invading, if that is what you want to call it, but hey they have a right to be concerned about him considering that if he dies or something their granddaughter will have a broken heart. Anyway, I do agree that Celeborn wasn't the fairest looking elf in the film, but he did seem wise and calm and cool like an elf should. I loved his silver hair and silve robes.

-Ariana

[Athelas]

I thought he looked like Robert Downey Jr. in a wig. I have always viewed Celeborn as sort of a trophy husband for Galadriel; attractive, but not too smart. His character hardly seems there except to criticize the Dwarves so that G can get on his case and say nice things about Dwarves. At least the extended version gave him a few more words of dialogue and a change of expression. It's wierd when CGI characters show more emotion in their faces than the real actors.

[Ithrynluin]

Originally posted by Athelas
I thought he looked like Robert Downey Jr. in a wig. I have always viewed Celeborn as sort of a trophy husband for Galadriel; attractive, but not too smart. His character hardly seems there except to criticize the Dwarves so that G can get on his case and say nice things about Dwarves.

:mad: Now I'm going to get mad!;)

IN CELEBORN'S DEFENSE - read THIS MARVELLOUS ARTICLE (http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/tolkien/96308) written by a Tolkien scholar.
Take that!:D :cool:

[Nóm]

Originally posted by ithrynluin
So in your opinion wisdom and beauty go hand in hand?:)

No.
Wisdom enhances beauty though.


And as for Celeborn = old man, not all people with think like I did, Ariana is proof of that.

[Ithrynluin]

Originally posted by Nóm
Wisdom enhances beauty though.


And as for Celeborn = old man, not all people with think like I did, Ariana is proof of that.

I agree that wisdom makes someone more beautiful. As for Celeborn walking like an old man,I didn't see the EE and I might just see it the same way you did Nóm!;)

[Dáin Ironfoot I]

I think poor Celeborn is beaten by Galadriel too much... that's why he walks so funny and takes so long to talk, he doesn't want to make her angry! :D

[Ariana Undomiel]

There is also the element that Galadriel bears a ring of power which will make her even more ageless and powerful.

- Ariana

[Ithrynluin]

Alrighty, after seeing the EE I can safely say that my liking for Celeborn stays firmly put. I think his character is well-rounded and his talk with Aragorn is appealing to me.:)

[TheWhiteLady]

Hmmm... What's wrong with Celeborn? Good question. I don't think that there's anything wrong with him. And there's CERTAINLY nothing wrong with the actor who played him. Marton Csokas. *sigh* There's something in his eyes and voice that is so affecting (even if he did have to play a character rather "stiff"). If anyone is familiar with his work, you'll know that he is: handsome, talented, intense, strong, moving, and dedicated. Oh, and did I mention that he's tall (6'3"), dark (his natural hair color is brown-but he looks hot blond though), and HANDSOME (oh honey :D )!!! Along with Orlando, he's the hottest elf in the film... and one of the hottest actors. So, long story short... Celeborn IS "beautiful", and there was nothing wrong with Marton's portrayal of him (cuz that's probably what PJ wanted, and a good actor can give a director what he/she wants). I also think the editing & additional scenes in the EE(s) were much kinder to Marton.

Okay. So. No hard feelings to anyone, but... that's what I think. What can I say? I love LOTR AND Marton Csokas. They're both wonderful. (Putting it mildly, of course. :D )

Nutin' but love people, nutin' but love.

[Hammersmith]

Ps. I am so glad that JRR had the good sense to change is name to Celeborn from the original Teleporno.
I mean really, it sounds like someting you would see on late night cable or something

rd

Instead we'll have to remain with the classics;

"They took Thorin and put thongs on him" - The Hobbit
"Frodo was aroused by Sam" - LOTR

[Kahikatea]

Just an odd thing that is sort of related to the topic, but when I first heard "The hobbit" on LP, I was about 10 or 12 years old. And the butler Wood Elf that gets drunk with the head guard in my mind looked exactly like the Elf that calls Arwin back when she has the vision of her and Aragon's son.

Now I’m not sure if this is my memory inventing things (as they have a tendency too) but when I first saw him it just reminded me of that childhood memory.

So I guess that means the movie image of Elves matched mine pretty well.

[lamariaevenstar]

Hmmm... What's wrong with Celeborn? Good question. I don't think that there's anything wrong with him. And there's CERTAINLY nothing wrong with the actor who played him. Marton Csokas. *sigh* There's something in his eyes and voice that is so affecting (even if he did have to play a character rather "stiff"). If anyone is familiar with his work, you'll know that he is: handsome, talented, intense, strong, moving, and dedicated. Oh, and did I mention that he's tall (6'3"), dark (his natural hair color is brown-but he looks hot blond though), and HANDSOME (oh honey :D )!!! Along with Orlando, he's the hottest elf in the film... and one of the hottest actors. So, long story short... Celeborn IS "beautiful", and there was nothing wrong with Marton's portrayal of him (cuz that's probably what PJ wanted, and a good actor can give a director what he/she wants). I also think the editing & additional scenes in the EE(s) were much kinder to Marton.

Okay. So. No hard feelings to anyone, but... that's what I think. What can I say? I love LOTR AND Marton Csokas. They're both wonderful. (Putting it mildly, of course. :D )

Nutin' but love people, nutin' but love.

oh man that's hilarious, can't tell you like him eh;) I never really thought much of him, basically he's there and then he's not..I'm kind of glad there wasn't a mistreatment of Cimli-like there was in the book when they found out about the Balrog

[Barliman Butterbur]

Many people have stated that they dislike Celeborn, both in the book and in the film. Why is that exactly?

In Tolkien's letter #759a (footnote 7), he says that Celeborn developed a troublesomely itchy (but benign) cyst in a sensitive spot sometime during the Second Age, and that made him grumpy over time. Also, I believe he had a recurrent ingrown toenail that would make his right big toe swell up, become very red, feverish, and highly sensitive and painful to the touch.

Barley

[Ithrynluin]

Oh, and did I mention that he's tall (6'3"),

Both Celeborn and Galadriel are actually 6'4, according to Unfinished Tales. Very tall, in any case. :)

Oh, and Barley, thanks for filling in the long sought and much needed missing link in Celeborn's character!

[Mrs. Maggott]

In The Hobbit, Tolkien states that all Elves are "good". In The Silmarillion, that statement is not exactly true. Elves are quite capable of evil acts and evil intentions. In LOTR (and in The Hobbit), Tolkien simply makes most of them rather parochial - as in the case of Celeborn. They are introspective and definitely disinterested in anything that isn't of the elves. We see that in the hobbits' encounter with Elves in the Shire - although the Elves do take the wanderers under their wing, so to speak, to protect them from the Riders. We see it again in Rivendell when Lindir is dismissive of Bilbo's poetic efforts. And we see it with Celeborn in Lorien. To his mind, the company has awakened a great evil of the bad old days and as far as he is concerned, Lorien is better without them.

Galadriel, on the other hand, like Elrond is not nearly so parochial as her husband. She understands the necessity of cooperation among the free peoples of Middle-earth even if that cooperation opens Lorien to danger. The Elves in LOTR are not all the same any more than the men, dwarves and hobbits are all the same within their own particular groups. In a way, however, this to my mind makes the Elves more appropriate for the establishment of reality in the story.

[SpencerC18]

Did anyone else think the actor who played Celeborn kinda looked like Kevin Spacey?

[Ithrynluin]

Hehe, no I sure didn't. But hey, we all get weird associations from time to time. ;)

The actor who plays Celeborn is called Marton Csokas. Marton's other notable film appearances include Triple X, where he plays the villain, and Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones where he shines in the role of 'Geonosian Archduke Poggle the Lesser'. :D

[TheWhiteLady]

Hehe, no I sure didn't. But hey, we all get weird associations from time to time. ;)

The actor who plays Celeborn is called Marton Csokas. Marton's other notable film appearances include Triple X, where he plays the villain, and Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones where he shines in the role of 'Geonosian Archduke Poggle the Lesser'. :D

Yeah, I don't think he looks like Kevin Spacey either. Marton has much more intensity in his eyes, and is WAY sexier. xXx was a terrible movie, but Marton was the one bright spot. He was supposed to be Poggle the Lesser, but Lucas decided to make the character CG and change the voice at the last minute. At least Marton got the credit. A good movie that Marton was in is 'The Bourne Supremacy'. He played Jarda, the other Tredstone agent that Matt Damon's character fights. Remember the mini-blinds? Good fight. Marton will also be in an upcoming movie with Orlando Bloom called 'Kingdom of Heaven'. It's takes place during the crusades. Looks to be pretty good. And yes, I'm a Marton Csokas fan. Just in case you couldn't tell. :D --Smooches.

[Elorendil]

I have always like the character of Celeborn, though I wish he had more lines in the movie. I do appreciate that PJ added more dialogue with him in the EE. One thing that bugs me a bit about him- isn't he a bit hairy for an elf? Look at his arms when he hands Aragorn the dagger! I didn't think elves had that much arm hair :p

[Hikaru]

Hmmm... What's wrong with Celeborn? Good question. I don't think that there's anything wrong with him. And there's CERTAINLY nothing wrong with the actor who played him. Marton Csokas. *sigh* There's something in his eyes and voice that is so affecting (even if he did have to play a character rather "stiff"). If anyone is familiar with his work, you'll know that he is: handsome, talented, intense, strong, moving, and dedicated. Oh, and did I mention that he's tall (6'3"), dark (his natural hair color is brown-but he looks hot blond though), and HANDSOME (oh honey :D )!!! Along with Orlando, he's the hottest elf in the film... and one of the hottest actors. So, long story short... Celeborn IS "beautiful", and there was nothing wrong with Marton's portrayal of him (cuz that's probably what PJ wanted, and a good actor can give a director what he/she wants). I also think the editing & additional scenes in the EE(s) were much kinder to Marton.

Okay. So. No hard feelings to anyone, but... that's what I think. What can I say? I love LOTR AND Marton Csokas. They're both wonderful. (Putting it mildly, of course. :D )

Nutin' but love people, nutin' but love.

Lurker pops in after a long, long time! And now I'm merrily off to Google Marton Tsokas. :p I've never seen him in anything else. I didn't like the way he delivered his line in the theater release. Apropos of nothing, I didn't care for the way Hugo Weaving delivered his lines either...seemed stiff, phoney and overblown to me.

I agree with those who said they liked Celeborn better in the EE. I think Cate Blanchett totally upstaged him, but Galadriel totally upstaged Celeborn in the books. She's a Ring Bearer after all, and her part is more important to the story.
Then again, having had a Galadriel obsession since I was 9, I supposed I'm biased.

[Hikaru]

Hmmm... What's wrong with Celeborn? Good question. I don't think that there's anything wrong with him. And there's CERTAINLY nothing wrong with the actor who played him. Marton Csokas. *sigh* There's something in his eyes and voice that is so affecting (even if he did have to play a character rather "stiff"). If anyone is familiar with his work, you'll know that he is: handsome, talented, intense, strong, moving, and dedicated. Oh, and did I mention that he's tall (6'3"), dark (his natural hair color is brown-but he looks hot blond though), and HANDSOME (oh honey :D )!!! Along with Orlando, he's the hottest elf in the film... and one of the hottest actors. So, long story short... Celeborn IS "beautiful", and there was nothing wrong with Marton's portrayal of him (cuz that's probably what PJ wanted, and a good actor can give a director what he/she wants). I also think the editing & additional scenes in the EE(s) were much kinder to Marton.

Okay. So. No hard feelings to anyone, but... that's what I think. What can I say? I love LOTR AND Marton Csokas. They're both wonderful. (Putting it mildly, of course. :D )

Nutin' but love people, nutin' but love.

Lurker pops in after a long, long time! And now having just Googled the handsome Mr. Tsokas...yum, yum. Much nicer with his natural dark hair.
I'd never seen him in anything else. I didn't like the way he delivered his line in the theater release. Apropos of nothing, I didn't care for the way Hugo Weaving delivered his lines either...seemed stiff, phoney and overblown to me.

I agree with those who said they liked Celeborn better in the EE. I think Cate Blanchett totally upstaged him, but Galadriel totally upstaged Celeborn in the books. She's a Ring Bearer after all, and her part is more important to the story.
Then again, having had a Galadriel obsession since I was 9, I supposed I'm biased.

[fadhatter]

In The Hobbit, Tolkien states that all Elves are "good". In The Silmarillion, that statement is not exactly true. Elves are quite capable of evil acts and evil intentions. In LOTR (and in The Hobbit), Tolkien simply makes most of them rather parochial - as in the case of Celeborn. They are introspective and definitely disinterested in anything that isn't of the elves. We see that in the hobbits' encounter with Elves in the Shire - although the Elves do take the wanderers under their wing, so to speak, to protect them from the Riders. We see it again in Rivendell when Lindir is dismissive of Bilbo's poetic efforts. And we see it with Celeborn in Lorien. To his mind, the company has awakened a great evil of the bad old days and as far as he is concerned, Lorien is better without them.

Galadriel, on the other hand, like Elrond is not nearly so parochial as her husband. She understands the necessity of cooperation among the free peoples of Middle-earth even if that cooperation opens Lorien to danger. The Elves in LOTR are not all the same any more than the men, dwarves and hobbits are all the same within their own particular groups. In a way, however, this to my mind makes the Elves more appropriate for the establishment of reality in the story.

doesnt anyone think he looks like an unwilling sex slave of galadriel's

[TheWhiteLady]

doesnt anyone think he looks like an unwilling sex slave of galadriel's

Ha! You're trying to goad me into saying something about the whole "sex slave" thing. Well, it's not going to work. :p I would think that my feelings on that would be obvious by now. ;)

In any case, I agree with the agreeing of the EE(s) being kinder to Marton. And so far as the part of Celeborn being small and what-not, I think that maybe Celeborn was only meant to be a kind of "filler" character. Not meant to have much substance. "Background" if you will. At least that's the way it seems to me. Those kinds of characters don't usually get a lot of detail, as not much time is spent thinking or writing about them.

Lurker pops in after a long, long time! And now having just Googled the handsome Mr. Tsokas...yum, yum. Much nicer with his natural dark hair.
I'd never seen him in anything else.

Csokas, love, Csokas... If you'd like to know what other films he's been in, just PM me and I can hook you up.

[Barliman Butterbur]

I am so glad that JRR had the good sense to change his name to Celeborn from the original Teleporno. I mean really, it sounds like someting you would see on late night cable or something

LOL ROFL! :D :D :D This is incredible! I googled it and came up with all the straight dope at http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/t/teleporno.html . Everything you wanted to know about TELEPORNO (which really means "Tall Silver Tree") but were afraid to ask! :D

Barley