The British Army Barracks Tea-Room

[Snaga]

* Snaga flings wide the door, and puts up a sign *

Tally-ho!

Been too long in the trenches? Got a touch of shell-shock? Come in and rest yourself in the jolly old British Army Tea-room. Just make sure you've shined your boots before you come in! Look at yourself... you're a disgrace!!!!

Help yourself to a cuppa ... If you want anything stronger, you've got to ask Wonks who can get anything you like for a couple of ration coupons. A nods as good as a wink to a blind man. I'll say no more.

* Points to the black and white photo on the wall * Look! Our patron... the former resident cryptographer himself. JRRT of course.

So who wants to discuss Britishness, become British, or just generally soak up some British 'culture' (or even accents)?

[Wonko The Sane]

*glides in gracefully on bare feet, her gorgeous Elfin body sillouhetted against the doorway as the moonlight illuminates her white dress she slides in and takes her place behind the bar.*

Welcome everybody!! :) *she turns to Snaga* Can we soak up other British things besides the accents and the culture? ;) Like um...the ale? Or the biscuits? ;) :D

[TheFool]

*like the stumble-drunk he is, Fool staggers through door and plants himself in a comfy, if battered, armchair*

I feel honoured *hic* to pour from the British Army teapot, I hope you brought enough for everybody, snaga! *Double take at barmaid*
Feel free to consult me on any pseudo-geordie matters.

stormy weather, what? :D ;)

[Wonko The Sane]

*grins to see her old friend The Fool she picks up a chipped China tea pot and gracefully makes her way across the room and pours The Fool a cup of English tea*

Welcome, dear!

[TheFool]

the tea here is better than me mum's! :) 'mum' or 'mam', I'm still undecided on that one...

Anyway, how about some toast!

[Wonko The Sane]

*wishing she were on the Planet Coruscant forums so she could get a wait-droid to do her bidding she sends an order for toast back to the kitchens and summons a furry little hobbit out from under the counter to deliver The Fool his toast. The hobbit hoists a tray above his head, and so burdened carries a plate of toast to The Fool's table. The tray is laden with pots upon pots of different jams, jellies and marmalades, including three different kinds of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and lox.*

[FREEDOM!]

*Walks in, leaving parachute right outside the front door, after ejecting out of his plane*

Poor me anything that 'll take away the ringing in my ears, and bring me some of those biscuits please. *looks around as the ringing in his ears keeps getting louder, trying to figure out where the ringing is coming from, realizes it's from the warning system that WAS in his plane before the missle hit it* Make it a double.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Pours STrider(Aragorn a double Chivas on the rocks and hopes he can handle it. She then opens a tin of biscuits that she baked yesterday and artistically lays them out on a flower bordered china plate. As STrider(Aragorn sits down at the bar she puts the biscuits and the drink in front of him*

[FREEDOM!]

Thnx, i really needed that.

[Wonko The Sane]

*nods acknowledgement to STrider(Aragorn before sliding into the back room to have a word with the proprietor*

[TheFool]

ahh, toast and tea.

*Feels down back of his chair for the tv remote, points at tv on wall and switches on 'Neighbours'*

hehehe this is the life. Only hope Harold isn't in this episode.

Hey STrider, ever seen this before? It'll calm your nerves! ;)

[FREEDOM!]

No, i've never seen that before, but it sure is helping.

Wheres the bathroom in this place?

[TheFool]

bathroom? It's one of the back rooms; make sure you get the right one though ;)

*Pours himself another cup of tea, pyramid bags, excellent! Makes large lemon curd 'n' toast sandwich. Spots jar of Marmite lurking in amongst the jam selection and quickly disposes of it. Settles blissfully in chair*

[Wonko The Sane]

*Returns from the back, 2.5 hours later, after an arduous ;) conversation with the proprietor, she returns to making drinks and serving food, emitting smiles and happy sighs all the while*

[FREEDOM!]

Can i get a Heinekin to go? I will return later!

[Snaga]

*Returns from the back, 2 hours later, after an arduous conversation with the delectable Wonks *

* Ringing sound. Pulls out HUGE mobile phone. * Hello? Yeah its me! What? I can't hear you! The kettle's really loud here! Yeah, I'm in the tea-room! No... its rubbish. Not enough customers! If you see the rest of the British Army tell 'em to get in here!

[legoman]

*Walks in the door, holding a suitably equally large mobile phone*
'Yeah, I'll do that mate, see you in a second'
*looks over to snaga*
'alright mate, this is a nice tea room, got any dunkling biscuits??'

[Wolfshead]

*Swaggers in*

I'll have a pint of bitter and a Rich Tea biscuit, if at all possible, mate

[Wonko The Sane]

That was hardly arduous, dear. But I'll let it slide as I said it first. ;)

*tosses a green Heineken bottle at STrider(Aragorn as he leaves the tea room, she turns to her other patrons.*

Welcome to the British Army Barracks Tea-Room. Take off your boots and get in from the rain...although I don't know why you'd want to.

*rummages about under the counter and sets a plate of biscuits before Legoman*
There you are, mate! Want anything to drink with that?

*Swiftly turns away, her white skirts swirling about her ankles as she grabs a polished pint glass from the shelves behind the bar and then turns to the taps to fill Craig's order. When the glass is full she plunks it on the polished counter top and then rummages about under the counter again for another tin of biscuits. Finally finding them she pulls 13 from the tin and arranges them on a cracked plate with a picture of Peter Rabbit on it before setting them before Craig*

I love Trigger Happy TV, guys! That's sooo funny! *giggles* I can TOTALLY imagine you saying that, Snags!

[legoman]

Peter Rabbits great, though I think you could get banned for having a skirt round your ankles, that could be a bit daft. most people wear them a little higher.

I'll have a ribena please, in a plastic cup with a picture of Thomas the tank engine on the side... cheers wonko.

[Wonko The Sane]

It's the HEM of my skirt, Legoman...SHH!

*pulls down a Thomas the Tank Engine mug and pours it full of Ribena for Legoman*

Are you sure you want to drink this, mate?

[legoman]

Well I'd rather have it diluted with water, I'm not sure I'd be safe having taken in that much sugar... though I do like it quite strong, stronger than the flavoured water type you get in the cartons.

Cheers Wonks.

[Wonko The Sane]

Why do you keep saying "cheers"?

*dilutes Legoman's Ribena with some mountain spring water bottled in the Cascades of her lovely home state.*

There you are. I think you're better off this way anyway. ;)

[Nimawae's hope]

.......AAAUUURRRRGGGHHH!!!!!! *Stops and looks blank for a minute*

Oh....I got here. Cool!! *Fixes her very messed up hair, and tries to look calm and collected* So, what have we done thus far? Anything of interest?
I'll have a strong alcoholic beverage of any kind, please.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Grins wickedly*
ANY kind, Nim? *rubs her hands together, delighting in the prospect of getting Nim SERIOUSLY messed up* WAHOO!
*she takes out the necessary ingredients for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, briefly referring to her copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in which she reads
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.

The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V- Oh that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!! Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost). Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink. Sprinkle Zamphuor. Add an olive. Drink ... but ... very carefully ...

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.

From ``Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' by Douglas Adams, Chapter 2

She giggles evilly as she mixes up the PGGB for Nim, knowing how WONDERFULLY messed up she'll be when she's done drinking it.*

I love corrupting our youth. *Smiles as she hands the drink to Nim and then goes to pour herself a cup of English Tea and make herself a crumpet. She smiles contentedly.*

[TheFool]

*looks up*

welcome! I'll have a pint when you've finished that crumpet please, barmaid! So far we have done copious amounts of tea and alcohol. And biscuits. 'oh, not biscuits!' Currently, I am lounging in the corner.

Are you sure you want to drink that?

[Wonko The Sane]

*Gives The Fool The Eye and says through clenched teeth* Yes, she's SURE she wants to drink that!

*She takes her crumpet from the toaster and spreads it with butter* Mmm. *then she sets in on the counter behind the bar to return to after catering to The Fools every whim. She pulls a dingy pint glass from under the counter and fills it with beer from the tap, she carries it to The Fools corner and winks at him as she places the foamy mug in his hands* Don't say anything! *she whispers* Don't YOU want to see Nim all plaster-faced?

[TheFool]

Aw, I said you should finish it first Wonks... I really do have all day thats why I'm lounging :)

*cough* Er, yes, it would be interesting to see the lady "smashed out"...

The first one's always the worst. chin chin!

[Wonko The Sane]

*wonders what this "chin chin" is about and decides it must be a British thing so she resolves to act as if she know what the devil The Fool is talking about*

Customers first, dear! Anyway, I've been waiting for the crumpet for a LONG time as they ran out at the pub next door and I had to come here. I can wait a bit longer I'm sure. *goes back to the bar to eat her crumpet*
Mmmm...buttery.

[tookish-girl]

Wotcha maties!
Very glad to hear this has been set up.
I really fancy a nice Tia Maria with coke actually. Thankyou. Now, where's the tv, am desparately missing Top of the POps over here.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Points to The Fool* There's a TV in his corner, if you sweettalk him he just might relinquish control of the remote. ;) *Mixes a Tia Maria with Coke for Tookish* How are things in New Hampshire?

[TheFool]

*delves deep beneath the sofa cushions, and pulls out a remote control, £2.57 in loose change, a christmas-cracker miniature padlock and a handful of bombay mix*

here you go.. hehe I have enough for another drink

[Snaga]

Yay TOTP!

Now then, now then... it comes to my attention that we Brits have a skill that we can teach to the world. No, not apologising. No, not self-deprecating humour- from-a-position-of-smug-superiority. No not even the art of arresting dangerous criminals without a gun.

I mean of course... Jay-walking! Now, let me first explain to any Brits here unfamiliar with this term... this means crossing a road not at a designated pedestrian crossing. Strangely, in some places you might get arrested for this. Or even run over by some maniac in a car. How uncivilised! So I want to take this opportunity to extol the anarchic virtues of playing 'Frogger' for real... its fun and its faster than hoping that you will find a crossing... and whats more you have the thrill of knowing you have achieved your goal by taking your life in your hands. Non-Brits... I will gladly give lessons in this noble and ancient art. Form an orderly queue!:)

[Asha'man]

I must say it.....

*******

There. *feels better*

Asha'man

*** Ash - - - please stop this type of posting ***

[Wonko The Sane]

*Looks at Snaga, grinning and shaking her head* Honestly, I do NOT understand how your police officers keep the peace without guns? I mean it! I've said it before and I'll say it again! "What if the criminal has a gun? Is the officer just going to be like: 'Put that gun down or I'll swat you with my really big stick!'?! NO!!!"
*stops ranting and then smiles at The Fool*

What'll it be, mate?

*Turns back to Snaga* I'd like to sign up for your jay-walking lessons. I'm seriously deficient in this area. I'm the kind of person who'll stand on the corner in the rain with no cars coming from ANY direction and wait for the little green walk symbol to flash before I cross the street. I'll go out of my way to walk to a crosswalk and wait for the signal when it'd be faster and more efficient to just cross in the middle. I need help perhaps. ;)

But then again, that's a very Seattle way to be. We all do it.

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
*Looks at Snaga, grinning and shaking her head* Honestly, I do NOT understand how your police officers keep the peace without guns? I mean it! I've said it before and I'll say it again! "What if the criminal has a gun? Is the officer just going to be like: 'Put that gun down or I'll swat you with my really big stick!'?! NO!!!"
I think the answer is simply that us Brits are just more civilised than you Yanks ;) Not so many of us feel the need to carry guns, infact, hardly anyone has them for self-defence, most gun use here is recreational. Plus we have stricter gun laws, so it is harder for someone to get a gun.

[TheFool]

Two large gins, two pints of cider please. Ice in the cider. :) I have enough money, today I reconstructed a £5 note I had unbeknowingly ripped into pieces while in my pocket (I thought it was a bus ticket :( stop that laughing!) It now looks a bit shiny but is OK.

ps Armed police are scary :eek:

[Frodorocks]

I'll have a margarita please.:) Cheers!:p

[Wonko The Sane]

First of all Craig, hardly anyone just walks around here with concealed weapons, second of all maybe we Americans are more violent on the whole, but there have to have been cases where some armed maniac was waving a gun around and all the police had were clubs...so yeah. *wonders where her point went* Oh yeah. Most gun use here is recreational too. You get of course people in gangs who tote guns because they're in a gang, and people who have guns in their bedside drawer in case they're ever robbed in the middle of the night...but for the most part guns here are recreational for like hunting and target practice and such.

And yes, armed police are scary. Armed security guards are scarier though. ;)

*ladels out two pints of cider from the big distiller in back of the bar and plops a few ice cubes into the mugs, then she pulls out two equally large mugs and fills them full of gin*
There you are, Fool. Cheers.

[TheFool]

hahaha excellent.

*wraps arms round order and carefully carries mugs to corner table. Settles back into chair as an insanely contented grin spreads across his face, he starts with one of the large large large gins*

Hope theres no closing time. Please don't carry me out.

*postulates* if all police here were armed, jeez that would make me feel unsafe. I mean, I am always on the lookout for street criminals, but it never really occurs to me that 'they might have guns'... ( maybe this would be different if I lived in London or Manchester..)

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
First of all Craig, hardly anyone just walks around here with concealed weapons, second of all maybe we Americans are more violent on the whole, but there have to have been cases where some armed maniac was waving a gun around and all the police had were clubs...so yeah. *wonders where her point went* Oh yeah. Most gun use here is recreational too. You get of course people in gangs who tote guns because they're in a gang, and people who have guns in their bedside drawer in case they're ever robbed in the middle of the night...but for the most part guns here are recreational for like hunting and target practice and such.
What I was saying was that people here do not usually feel the need to have a gun at all. People do not keep guns beside their beds incase of an intruder. And I don't think you see guns in gangs as much either, more likely to be knives.

[Legolam]

*Legolam wanders aimlessly into the tea-room*

Is it possible to buy hangover cures here? All this talk of alcohol is really making me feel sick (no, really it is!)

[legoman]

Ah, what you need, my good scottish pal is a fry up! Yeah, bvacon rolls all round, these are on me!! Get cooking wonks...

Hey up tookish, hows 'Rica? TOTP isn't all that good you know, now if you'd said TOTP2 I'd have felt more sorry for you. Though you did miss a rather smashing university challenge last night! hoho, I missed the end though so I'm jhust not sure if Nottingham beat Aberystwyth(spl).

Ah, Jaywalking... beautiful that, I have to do it everyday to get to uni, great stuff, I sometimes jaywalk accross the huge 4-lane ring road just cos I can, in fact I did it earlier today, haha, you americans are so restricted!

oh and on the guns issue - boo, guns = bad! Good old english bobbies.

[FREEDOM!]

*Walks in after hearing the conversation of guns*
I'm going to get a license to carry a concealed wepon.

I'm going to get a Berreta.

Can i have a margarita.

[legoman]

Why??

What good will it do you, what good will it do anyone else, whats the point?

that seems like a rather daft idea to me.

[Snaga]

Hmmm I'm guessing those Scottish lessons really havent paid off yet. You need to learn to thwack people with a haggis or something. Guns are for shooting grouse and I can see no point in trying to conceal the weaponry.

Criminals sometimes have guns but not as a matter of course. I guess they don't often, upon being collar by the law say: 'Its a fair cop, guvnor you got me bang to rights. I'll come quietly!' a la Dixon of Dock Green but most know that if they shot a cop to avoid being arrested for theft or something they would suddenly be in a totally different league. Anyway enough enough! Why did I mention guns... ?

This is a tea room... we could talk about types of tea! Mines an Earl Grey please Wonks.:)

Any volunteers to sing a song? A good old fashioned cockney knees-up sounds good to me;)

[TheFool]

hmmm...... William Wallaces who carry weapons...

Not a good idea over here :p :p


Are there any songs about bonfire night?

[Snaga]

Ahh yes of course. That is the perfect idea! Its Guy Fawkes night tonight, where we Brits celebrate that some loony tried to destroy Parliament.

* goes outside and sets off lots of fireworks *

And we need a BBQ I think!:D

[TheFool]

I'll get the fire going then we can toast some marshmallows. Now if I just take those two chairs there, hmm... the old newspapers... and if Wonks will pass me the bottle of Ol'Janx Spirit *thanks* we have ourselves a primitive but very effective fire. Hehe thats why I did a degree :D

Soe many Barrells of Gunpowder,
the like was never seen-a,
That eke that match
had chanc'd to catch,
Good Lord, where should we all have been-a?

O Varlets that esteeme noe more
3 Kingdoms than 3 shillings!
It were a Good deed
to hang 'm with Speed,-
Oh out vppon them Villaines! (extract: song unknown origin)

[Wonko The Sane]

*Looks at the mix-list for a hangover concotion for her Scottish friend*
We need one egg, the hair from the dog that bit you (if he hasn't bit you yet you've got to make him or it's no good), one jalapeno pepper, and some vinegar. Mix that all up and it'll cure your hangover.

*turns to Legoman* I don't actually do the heavy cooking I get someone else to do that. *tells someone else to make up bacon rolls for the whole house. The smell of sizzling bacon soon permeates the room*

*Pulls a bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold from the shelf as she starts to make William Wallace a margarita*

I ever tell any of you about the time I got blasted sick on margaritas?


*tosses The Fool a bottle of That Ol' Janx Spirit and pulls of tin of Earl Grey tea from the shelf to make Snaga a cup* I love Earl Grey. It's yummy.

[legoman]

great, so we have bacon rolls, a barbeque and many a cup of tea, this is turning into quite a homely place.

[Wonko The Sane]

*giggles* You mean, "homey" right Legoman? Homely means unnatractive in a plain and dowdy fashion. ;)

*her cooks hand her plate after plate of bacon rolls and she distributes them throughout the room*
You know what this place needs?

*she goes over to the fireplace and stands before it, reaching into her magic pockets she pulls out what looks like a handfull of embers, but she is amazingly unaffected by the fire that appears to be burning in her hand, she casts it into the fireplace and a roaring fire springs up instantly*

It's perfect! Raining outside, fire inside...with tea and bacon rolls. *shrugs her shoulders and crosses her arms in a contented fashion* It's perfect!

[FREEDOM!]

Lets play poker. whos in?

5 card draw.

[Wonko The Sane]

I'm not quite sure that playing Poker is a very British thing to do.

And I cannot play, I'm too busy making drinks. *hurries behind counter to appear busy*

What I think would be a better idea is if I had someone to curl up with on the couch by the fire...*sighs dreamily as she leans on the bar counter and stares off into space*

[Frodorocks]

Oh sure you make William Wallace a margarita and not me, I see how you are:rolleyes: :)

[Wonko The Sane]

Oh my! I'm frightfully sorry! I forgot!! *Once again pulls down the bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold, wrinkling her nose as she opens it and pours the proper proportions into her drink mixer, she adds ice, and Margarita mix, blends it together, and hands the concotion to Frodorocks.*

Again, I'm frightfully sorry!

[Legolam]

Wow, you are a Brit! Apologising and everything :D

[FREEDOM!]

How about a game of scrabble? Or i could just cuddle up to wonks on the couch next the fire, but she would prefer someone british.

[legoman]

*giggles* You mean, "homey" right Legoman? Homely means unnatractive in a plain and dowdy fashion.
surely homely means like being at home... ah shucks, I dunno...

yeah, scrabble, or we could play bridge but not many people know how to play that, its very complicated to explain. Its good tea this, what is it, Yorkshire tea?

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Legolam
Wow, you are a Brit! Apologising and everything :D

*Grins proudly* Snaga taught me that one! Although he didn't have to try too hard, as it's really my nature to apologise for everything anyway. ;)

Originally posted by William Wallace
How about a game of scrabble? Or i could just cuddle up to wonks on the couch next the fire, but she would prefer someone british.

Hehe. Thanks for the offer, WW. But maybe you'd better play Scrabble with Legsieman over there.

*To Legoman:* I dunno what kind of tea it is. What kind did you order? ;) I suspect it's that kind.

*sighs happily as she mixes drinks and prepares orders*

[FREEDOM!]

*Pulls out scrabble board and letters* scrabble it is then.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Hopes she didn't offend WW by turning down his kind and generous offer*

My heads off in space and my hearts on a completely different continent! I'm all messed about!! And I like it!

*Mixes up a round of Gin Gimlets for anyone who wants one and then goes back to staring dreamily off into space*

[FREEDOM!]

Don't worry there was no offense takin!

[TheFool]

*Slowly getting up from his chair, fool puts on his jacket and takes up a stool at the end of the bar, idly watching the slow, tortuous progress of the scrabble game* Those guys had better hurry up before this place closes..

*a gin gimlet looks mercifully at him, and, without a thought for it's own safety, shuffles down the bar to fulfil it's destiny.*

nice one. Could I have another cup of tea please? I'll try to think of some more words with z & q in them; they'll go to the highest bidder ;)

[Wonko The Sane]

*Smiles at The Fool and brews another pot of tea, smiling contentedly, she pours the warm, brown liquid from the chipped pot into a chipped mug and hands it to The Fool*

You know what's good? Phone calls...:)

[TheFool]

hehe I remember there's a huge black telephone in here somewhere

" 'Quizically'! Worth a fiver at lea.....

DOH!"

[Wonko The Sane]

*Stares off into space, her green eyes sparkling as her mind wanders*

Isn't life grand? *she sighs as she busies herself making tea and crumpets and mooning around the room*

[Snaga]

OK here are some tips for J-walking:

(1) Try to walk into the side of passing cars. THey will be past before you get there, allowing you to sneak through.

(2) Make eye contact with the driver. Smile nicely if possible. Unless you are so unfeasibly ugly that they will want to kill you. In this case pull a scary face, so they will swerve to avoid you. Avoid smiling nicely at the drivers wife/husband etc instead... that could be provocative.

(3) Hunt in packs. In places like London you will find that a good strategy is to force your way through by sheer weight of numbers. Avoid relying on tourists for such support. You think they are trying to cross the road, but really they are looking for their phrase-book in their backpack. Or they are considering putting on/taking off their coat.

That will do. Yes phone calls are good. The phone bill is not!:)

[legoman]

hehe, he missed the last rule, be careful not to injure any reliant robins.

[FREEDOM!]

I got a good word ZEPHYR thats 77 points. woo-hoo!

[Seraph]

*Walks in and leans against bar.*
Any chance of an orange juice for a weary traveller?

[legoman]

hmm, zephyr, someone hung me in a game of hangman with that yesterday, damn them, but I hung someone with copydex, mines better.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Pours a tall tumbler of orange juice for Seraph*
Welcome to the forums Seraph! :) What an excellent choice for your first post!!

*To Snaga*
Hehe...you're right, phone bills are pants...especially after you're on the phone for FOUR hours! ;)

[legoman]

four hours, thats not that long... hardly worth bothering.

*couldn't bother you four another ribena could I wonks, i've come over all thirsty all of a sudden*

I mean if you were on for say 8 1/2 hours, that'd be something...

[Snaga]

Four hours?! Yikes!

Hello Seraph!

Hey Billy! (you dont mind if I call you that do you WW?) I thought you ought to try singing songs by The Proclaimers. Very Scottish...

I would wlk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man
who walked 1000 miles
to fall down at your door...

So just how far would you go, I ask. 5000 miles is my limit I think, so I beat the Proclaimers. Can you?

[Snaga]

Furthermore if you are now to be called Billy, there are other songs we could be sing...

Why you gotta play that song so loud?
Because we want to! Because we want to!
Why you always run around in crowds?
Because we want to! Because we want to!
Why d'you always have to dance all night?
Because we want to! Because we want to!
Why d'you always say what's on your mind?
Because we want to! Because we want to

*Chuckles to himself, cos he's pretty sure thats not gonna be WW's idea of a good song!;) *

[TheFool]

*turns on radio*

"...and coming into the finishing straight, snaga is way out in front but we have a three-way battle for second place between the proclaimers and vanessa carlton.. wait... one of the proclaimers is lying down in front of her, the other one is....woahhh, he's pushed her over!! Vanessa carlton has gone flying, the proclaimers are disqualified... will there be any more challengers at this late stage...?"

*yawns*

[Wonko The Sane]

*pours Legoman another Ribena*

Drink up, mate!

*ponders something* You're right...4 hours isn't that long...8.5 hours sounds better...*Turns to Snaga* What do you think?

[legoman]

*takes drink*
thank you,
but less of that talk, thats my record and I'm proud of it, you leave my records alone!

snaga - billy, hahaha, do you have a girlfriend?...

[Snaga]

* gets confused * You have a Billie Piper record? I am slightly surprised. Which one? And can you do the dance moves?

[legoman]

'fraid not mate, just I had a best friend who had obscure musical taste and he got into all that billie piper stuff. I know it all *shudder* I remember one week he went out shopping and came back with all saints, b*witched, sash and robert miles, this was to add to his collection of abbey road (TB's).

Yup, that kid was really screwed up!

[Wonko The Sane]

Sounds like my music collection...I have my copy of Hanson filed right next to my copy of Conspiracy of One by the Offspring...right next to my Nirvana greatest hits album, right next to my Celine Dion CD. *grins*

I like B*Witched though...they were fun!

[legoman]

*shudders at the thought of celine dion and hanson* cripes girl, you are scary. Though B*witched were fun, or at least their first album was, their second album was rubbish, they tried to go all serious and flopped. Do you ike the song 'we four girls' it was always my favourite of theirs, great song that.

grab you hat, grab your ruler... lets go!

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe. I didn't have their second album, my sister has their first.

And I'm NOT scary! I just have a very VARIED musical taste! :) I like David Gray though. ;) So I can't be all bad. :)

[Snaga]

You like David Gray? You are perfect! I was just listening to David Gray last night.

All Saints are good! Not that I have anything by them. But still. Robert Miles is boring, but Sash rock.

This is a scary thought. My crazy housemate playing 'Tie me Kangeroo down, sport' by Rolf Harris REALLY loud at 2AM.... helppppp!!!

[legoman]

do we have the same scary house mate???
cos mine tends to play sketches out of the goon show at 2am very loud, well that or gaelic folk music, and then procede to tell us all about it in a very loud voice.
how strange, maybe we should matchmake them and get them out of our flats!!!!!!

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe...Which crazy housmate Snaga? (They're all named Joe!!!)

And yes...I DO like David Gray...especially that song, "Please Forgive Me"...perhaps you've heard of it? I've only heard it once...and that was only part of it...and over the phone at that...but I loved it!

[legoman]

ah, but his best song is Babylon, definately. just pipping please forgive me. Well I guess thats an opinion.

[Wonko The Sane]

I LOOOOVE Babylon! A lot!! :) But Please Forgive Me is sooo beautiful...it makes me cry. :rolleyes:

[legoman]

OK, heres a serious question (yes, I know, don't all have a heart attack, I'll go back to the usual rubbish in a couple of posts), but are there any guys out there who have certain songs which make them cry. I was just wondering cos I mean, I'm not into all that masculin rubbish, if I wanna cry I will, but I've never cried because of listening to a song and I know hundreds of songs and relate them all to different things, but nearly all of my female friends have songs they always get depressed or go quiet or cry when they listen to them:
classic example - 'with or without you' by U2, I used to go to the pub with about 12 girls and when that came on the jukebox, they all went blubberly, weird stuff.

[heeh, if I was in a really annoying mood I used to put it on to laugh at them - I know harsh but they ridiculed me enough, I'm surprised I survived, it was usually the 12 or so of them and me, haha, I knew almost exactly which songs affected which people, hoho, how mean]

[Wonko The Sane]

I know a guy who...on second thought I'm not a guy I'll let the guys field this one.

:D ;)

*Pours Legoman another Ribena* I know you didn't ask this time, but you looked like you needed it!

[TheFool]

My first year at uni there was this guy from San Diego in our house, and he used to play the Gomez song 'Tijuana Lady' all the time.. the most enthusiastic person ever, even if you said to him "Joe, it's that pork-chop-with-mustard-sauce thing for tea again" he would be like "YEAH!!!"; anyway on the last night they played that song, must admit it did bring a tear to m'eye.... still reminds me of that naive and stupid year :rolleyes: :D

heh I went through a depressing-records-purge last year, put 'em in a box in the cupboard, evil things!

[Wonko The Sane]

*Loves Radiohead*

I LOVE Radiohead because it makes me cry...:)

[Frodorocks]

GreenDay, The Time of Your Life makes me sad. It's like the theme song for Summer and symbolizes all that I love and miss.:(

[Wonko The Sane]

Puddle of Mudd's "Blurry" makes me cry...because it reminds of a very awful part of my life.

[FREEDOM!]

Remember Me by Mark Schultz makes me cry, especially when i went to Myrtle Beach and i was working with these kids i had to leave the next day when i heard that song and i broke down and almost died.

[Snaga]

'Say Hello, Wave Goodbye' ... that gets me! I usually only have one crying song at a time. I cry, but not in public. Sometimes if I think I might cry, and I really don't want to I go somewhere public so I can't! How crazy is that?

Can I have a red Orangina, please Wonks?

Oh and yes it was one of the Joe's. The crazy one!

[Wonko The Sane]

Of course, darling!

*gets Snags his red Orangina and hands it to him in a very polite and English fashion*

Right now I'm having trouble listening to "Let Down" by Radiohead.
*sigh* Kind of sad...ok ALL of Radiohead could probably make me cry at one point or another. :rolleyes: And then the song Snaga mentioned...I can't really relate to it very much..but it makes me cry all the same. Just the emotion...and the whole concept is so darn sad...anyway...I got teary eyed listening to it on the bus last night.

[Azog]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
*Loves Radiohead*

I LOVE Radiohead because it makes me cry...:)

Have you heard the "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" by them?

[TheFool]

surely that was Leonard Nimoy, but both are tear-inducing :D
;)

[Wolfshead]

I can see where the confusion comes in there. When I first downloaded The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins from Kazaa, it said it was by Radiohead. That I found strange, because it didn't really sound like Radiohead. I later came to the conclusion it was by Leonard Nimoy. A very funny track. You may also like to try Highly Illogical by him as well.

The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins Thread (http://www.thetolkienforum.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=6368)

[Wonko The Sane]

I've not heard this Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, but it's my firm belief that ANY former member of the original Star Trek cast should NOT, I repeat NOT sing!

*shakes head at the awful Desiderata song of Nimoys, and William Shatner's horrific rendition of "It was a very good year"*

So, while we discuss music, would anyone like a drink? *smiles sweetly and takes her place once again behind the bar*

[Snaga]

I'll have a bottle of Newky Brown ( that's Newcastle Brown Ale to you;) )

While we are on the subject of music, I read that the leader chappy from Coldplay says he is no good 'in the sack'. And he says 'mega' a lot too. Anyone else say that?

[Wonko The Sane]

Oh yes! I firmly maintain that I am 'no good in the sack'! ;)

Totally kidding...ok...sorry...just that your question was a bit ambiguous.

We don't say 'mega' here, but we say 'hella'...if that's a consolation!

*gets Snaga his bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale*

Did you know there's a city called Newcastle just adjacent to the city I live in? AND my neighborhood is called Somerset! We're soo wannabe British!

[Snaga]

Hmm so you say, but if I remember rightly you like in a Wannabe french city, right?;)

I just saw 'Leonard Nimoy' and 'tear-inducing' in the same sentence! Reminds me of the scene at the end of which ever film it is Spock sort of dies in. But Bones is so much cooler than Spock.

[Wonko The Sane]

Wannabe French city indeed! We're SOO much cooler than the French!
You'll see! I'll prove it!!

*randomly kisses Snaga on the cheek*
Sorry, luv, I couldn't help myself!
*blushes*

[Snaga]

OK... lets stop the random displays of affection. Its all very nice, but just not British enough for this sort of establishment. Stiff upper lip eh?;)

So anyway.... Christmas is coming. And my question to you all is.. do you like ANY christmas songs? BTW I dont mean Christmas Carols, I mean the ubiquitous songs that EVERY shop will be playing incessantly from now until January. Would anyone ever listen to them... you know.. just on their own merits?

The only one I can think of is that one by the Pogues.. can't remember the title offhand.

[legoman]

How can you knock Christmas songs, they're mega! lol.

Just listen to the lyrics of Merry Xmas Everybody 'Does your granny always tell you that the old songs are the best, then she's up and rock and rolling with the rest!' genius. I love christmas songs,but you've gota be in the right mood, its just when you go into WH Smiths in October and they're playing do they know its christmas and you're like, no cos theres still two months to go you stupid shop assistants!!!! (btw, if you don't know what WH Smiths is watch the opening scene of dogma more closely!)

I think you mean 'fairytale in New York' with Kirsty McCall, which is brilliant!

here, check out these classic numbers!
http://www.asmallvictory.net/old****/000174.html

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by snaga1
OK... lets stop the random displays of affection. Its all very nice, but just not British enough for this sort of establishment. Stiff upper lip eh?;)


Right, guvna. Wouldn't want to annoy anybody...*rolls her eyes and mumbles darkly about people minding their own business*

I hate those Christmas songs...I'd never listen to them on my own.
I like the traditional ones but those awful store music songs just suck, IMO.

I really hate one that's about skating on a pond..or maybe a river...or something...I remember distinctly something about skating...

But I love Christmas...especially this Christmas Holiday as it will be the best ever!!

[Wolfshead]

So anyway.... Christmas is coming. And my question to you all is.. do you like ANY christmas songs? BTW I dont mean Christmas Carols, I mean the ubiquitous songs that EVERY shop will be playing incessantly from now until January. Would anyone ever listen to them... you know.. just on their own merits?
In a word, no. Hang on, I tell a lie. That song by Slade is damned good, what was it called? Oh yes, Merry Christmas Everybody, a classic and no mistake. And really anything from A Muppet's Christmas Carol, that's a superb film. Especially the song, There's Only One More Sleep 'Till Christmas, oh, and Scrooge.

All the traditional stuff sucks though.

[Frodorocks]

All of the Christmas songs annoy me. Why don't they play Hannaka (I know I so didn't get the spelling right) or kwanza songs. I feel sorry for people of other religons. Where I live, you here Christmas songs almost all year and I get tired of them. CraigSmith, are you a muppets fan? One of my friends is a muppets physco and is obsessed with Kermit.:D

[Wolfshead]

I am not a Muppet's fan in that I would watch anything Muppet-related that I could find, but I watch them occasionally from a viewpoint of a 15 year old with a sense of humour. Basically, I think they're really funny. Just watch them jump around etc. Kermit is funny, he's not an idol or anything, just funny.

So, not Muppet's obsessed :)

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by CraigSmith
And really anything from A Muppet's Christmas Carol, that's a superb film. Especially the song, There's Only One More Sleep 'Till Christmas, oh, and Scrooge.



I really like that song Belle sings to Young Scrooge.
I sing it a lot...what a pretty tune.
Sad though...

"The love is gone, the love is gone, I wish you well but I must leave you now alone. It was almost love, it was almost always..." *sigh*

That's too sad...

[TheFool]

My dad had the vinyl single of the Mike Oldfield instrumental one, I used to listen to that loads when I was about 7 - but would I put it on the jukebox these days, maybe not :D :D

Don't mind the Slade, pogues,, even the Wizzard one - but the Chris deBurgh, Wings.. arrgh!

[legoman]

I'm dissapointed with you guys, what sort of britains are you that you don't like the classic stufff we put out every christmas, its amazing!!!

I'm very disapointed.
In fact you aught to be ashamed of yourselves. We live in an age where the pop music charts are run by plonkers who like w*stl*f* and d*st*ny's ch*ld and you lot don't like the christmas songs. pah. I pity you people, you need to be shut in a dark cellar and forced to listen to 'when the snowman brings the snow'!!! That'd teach how good christmas songs are!!!
Have you not heard the Chris De burgh lyrics, now I'm not a fan of his at all (in fact this is his only slightly good song), and I'm not religious but the lyrics to this song are really good and very clever.

"A Spaceman came traveling on a ship from a far"
" 'Twas light-years of time since his mission did start"
"And over a village he halted his craft"
"And he hung in the sky like a star, Just like a star"

"And he followed a light and came down to a shed"
"Where a mother and child where lying there on a bed"
"A bright light of sliver shone round his head"
"And he had the face on an Angel, And they where afraid"

"Then the stranger spoke and he said do not fear"
"I come from a planet a long way from here"
"And I bring a message for mankind to hear"
"and suddenly the sweetest music filled the air"

Chorus:
"and it went Lalalalalalalala, lalalalalalala, ohhhh
lalalalalala peace goodwill to all men and love for a child"

"and just before dawn at the paling of the sky "
"the stranger returned and said now i must fly"
"when two thousand years of your time has gone by"
"this song will begin once again, to a baby's cry

[Wolfshead]

In fact you aught to be ashamed of yourselves. We live in an age where the pop music charts are run by plonkers who like w*stl*f* and d*st*ny's ch*ld and you lot don't like the christmas songs. pah. I pity you people, you need to be shut in a dark cellar and forced to listen to 'when the snowman brings the snow'!!! That'd teach how good christmas songs are!!!
I'd like to be exempt from these new rulings, legoman. I also utterly despise the music charts nowadays. All that manufactured trash does my head in. Give me some decent Metal anyday of the week :cool: Once a year, I can tolerate Christmas songs, but they get annoying after a while.

Anyway, I'll have a coffee please, I have a lot of Computing homework I really ought to get on with :(

[Wonko The Sane]

*grins at Craig* What KIND of coffee?

I'm from SEATTLE! Home of Starbucks! I know how to make MANY kinds of coffee?

SO what'll it be? Mocha, Americano, Latte, Espresso, Black, Cafe Frio, Javanilla Shake (that's an SBC creation), Frappachino (Starbucks), Coffee Toddy, Drip?
Would you like it hot, cold, or warm?
On ice or pre-chilled?
Cream, whole milk, 2%, skim?
Sugar?
Flavor? We have English Toffee, Vanilla, Irish Cream, Orange, Strawberry, Blackberry, Creme de Menthe, Kahlua, B-52, Jamaican Rum, Cinnamon, Hazelnut, Caramel, Baileys, Banana, Raspberry, and so on.
Would you like whipped cream? We have non-fat and real!

*grins*
And the list goes on...what'll it be! More specific!!!

[TheFool]

Originally posted by legoman
Chorus:
"and it went Lalalalalalalala, lalalalalalala, ohhhh
lalalalalala
Yep that's the bit that stuck in my mind :D :D - and it's in a minor key - how can you have a Christmas song in a minor key, it's depressing!
Agree about DC & co. though, gets on me nerves when bands do a trashy 'Christmas cover version' just to, well, make money..

Should we start putting some decorations up in here!

[Wonko The Sane]

I'm a firm believer that it's just foolish to put up Christmas decorations until AFTER Thanksgiving!
It's too early!!

But since you Brits don't have Thanksgiving and this IS the British Army Barracks Tea-Room I suppose we can make an exception.

You can spearhead that one Fool, I don't want to do anything more but snog that orc and serve y'all drinks...

*Her eyes dart around shiftily* Was that bit about snogging out loud just now?

[TheFool]

*Fool sits down on the floor in the Lotus position, his eyes closed. He casts his mind back to an art lesson in 1987, to a world of spray-on snow, egg-box/coathanger mobiles, cotton wool, silver paper and badly-drawn domesticated animals. Gathering the relevant information he returns, stopping only to watch the Nativity Play for a few goofy laughs*

Right, I have loads of coloured paper, some tinsel, some evil glue, some glitter, and a pair of those scissors with funny jagged edges. Feel free to join in (preference given to Blue Peter Badge holders) maybe there will be a complimentary drink if we don't massacre the place. Should be ready in 4 weeks time ;)

carry on!

[Wonko The Sane]

*Grins*
As official Bar-Maid/Serving Wench/Elf-Goddess Drink Distributor I proclaim that prizes for excellent decoration will be given as follows:

Free round for the house!!!

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by Wonko The Sane
*grins at Craig* What KIND of coffee?.................*grins*
And the list goes on...what'll it be! More specific!!!
Hmm, ah, yes, rather. I then shall go for, oh, so many choices, um, hmm, regular caffenated (definately spelled wrong) with boiling water (the usual kind), milk (semi-skimmed), and yeah, that's it. I don't need all those strange things you listed :confused: :D

[Wonko The Sane]

*shakes her head at the simplicity of Brits when it comes to coffee*
You have us beat on the accents, but you really need to expand your caffeinated horizons!!

*Stars up the coffee maker, taking three heaping scoops of fresh Colombian coffee beans and running them through the grinder. She takes a handeled scoop and pats the grounds into it, slipping the scoop into the machine she flips a switch and the grounds are combined with water and run through a filter. The result is a pure black coffee that collects in a white mug under the drip spout. When the cup is near full she pulls it out and sets it on the counter, reaching into her mini-fridge she pulls out a pint of 1/2 and 1/2.*

Is 1/2 and 1/2 ok? Half cream, half milk. Sound good? Good.*doesn't wait for an answer and pours in the cream until the coffee takes on a dull toffee color.*

Would you like some sugar?

[Wolfshead]

*shakes her head at the simplicity of Brits when it comes to coffee*
That's being a bit harsh, dontcha think? I mean, we have decaf as well :rolleyes:

Sugar? No, rots the teeth, and we can't be having that. I'm sure it shall taste just fine without.

I know, to answer your phone bill problems, get a job in Starbucks :D

*Takes the coffee and approaches it cautiously* Hmm, not bad :p

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by CraigSmith
That's being a bit harsh, dontcha think? I mean, we have decaf as well :rolleyes:

Yes, you also have decaf. *Rolls eyes and resists the urge to slap Craig with a wet towell* ;)

Hehe. Right. You can't let your teeth rot and fulfill the British stereotype, now can you! ;) Hehe. *Hopes that SHE will not now get a toothbrush as well.* ;)

I'd get a job at Starbucks as it would be perfect for a Seattle-Chic Sophisti-cat like me, but it would actually pay less than my current job, so I will not.

*Grins as Craig nods approvingly at his sip of coffee*

Yay! I'm such a good barista!

[Wolfshead]

British sterotype? We have rotten teeth? Were'd that 'un come from? Aren't I full of questions today? Well, am I?

Ah, so maybe a job at Starbucks not such a good idea then. Unless you got some kind of executive job there...

Yeah, not bad coffee :)

[Wonko The Sane]

Hmm...Americans must be RABIDLY jealous of British accents because it's a running joke over here that all Brits have crooked and/or rotten teeth.

See the Simpsons episode with "The Big Book of British Smiles"...*shudders*

I always stick up for my British brethren cos my siblings like to make fun of British teeth all the time knowing how much I love British people, culture, Yrch, etc. ;)

So yeah...I don't know where it comes from. My uncle says it's because the standard of living, comparably, is lower in Britain and so orthodontia is not a big concern because it's so expensive.
But I don't really know where it came from.

I asked Snag and he didnt' know either. :confused:

Thanks for your compliments on the coffee though!

[Wolfshead]

Well, having been British all my life (!) I can say I've never noticed a particularly poor standard of oral hygiene. Infact, you would expect it to be quite good, we have that NHS-thing to pay it for us, well, to a certain extent.

And have you got any idea how many times we've messaged each other back and forth on the forum this evening? I really ought to get out more... Or sleep. The latter being particulary appealing at midnight after a week at school.

[Wonko The Sane]

:) I do realise that we've messaged eachother quite a lot tonight...

Which probably means that even though we were mostly on-topic the mods will see it as chatting and delete the posts.

Which is pants if you ask me. But nobody ever does.

*She wipes down her coffee-maker with a dishrag*

Oral hygeine in Britain isn't necessarily bad I don't think. I just think Americans put an inordinate amount of importance on straight, perfect, gleaming white teeth which makes other countries look bad in comparison.

[Wolfshead]

Yes, I think everything you said there is about right, they'll probably delete all the posts. Or maybe not, didn't we always cleverly link back to the original topic?

And I can't reply to the vibrating german phone post without getting myself in trouble, so I won't... :rolleyes:

*Cleverly links back to the point of this thread* So, that was good coffee. How about a pint of bitter before bed?

[Wonko The Sane]

*Starts pulling a pint of Bitter, giggling at the same time about the phone comment*

You're right..we did link cleverly back to the topic, but as the mods have a general disdain for me I doubt it will matter too much.

*Hands Craig his pint*

Going to bed so soon? The night's still young!!

[Wolfshead]

Yes, well, I ain't saying any more about vibrating german phones.

I still have a clean record with the Mods, so maybe that will count for something. Or not.

Well, bed soon I think would be a good idea... but not yet.

*Customary link back* Nice pint, what brand is it?

[Wonko The Sane]

I dunno, mate! I just pull whatever comes from the tap! ;)

(Btw, just having a friendship with me is enough to bring the mods down on you. You've been warned! ;) )

[Wolfshead]

Crikey, maybe then I should just ignore you and never speak to you ever again... nah.

*Link back :rolleyes:" Well, a nice pint anyway :)

EDIT: Well, my post count has dropped by two since our shenanigans last night, but where those two posts were, I've got no idea :confused:

[Snaga]

* Ignores the bizarre conversation going on and sits in a strange yoga position somewhere near TheFool *

What are we making, may I enquire? I have my sticky-back plastic, which I feel will be essential to this, whatever it maybe.

* Also begins to sing: *

people I know, places I go, make me feel tongue-tied
I can see how people look down, they're on the inside
here's where the story ends
people I see, weary of me showing my good side
I can see how people look down
I'm on the outside
here's where the story ends
ooh here's where the story ends

it's that little souvenir of a terrible year
which makes my eyes feel sore
oh I never should have said, the books that you read
were all I loved you for
it's that little souvenir of a terrible year
which makes me wonder why
and it's the memories of your shed that make me turn red
surprise, surprise, surprise

Anyone care to name the song, artist and who re-released this song?

[Wolfshead]

I can hear the song in my head, but I can't put an artist to it :confused: Who was it? And who did the original?

[TheFool]

:) "Heres where the story ends" Tin Tin Out feat. some-very-pretty-female-singer - don't know the original though but I do like the song.

I thought we should start off with some simple 'paper-chain' type things just to get the hang of it, then move on to something more ambitious - maybe some life size snowmen/elves/reindeer etc, but maybe we should vote on that! Or we could just build a snowman outside.

Excellent raw materials! Someone check in the back for some emtpy washing-up bottles!

[Seraph]

So is everyone looking forward to Christmas? I used to really love Christmas, now it just means I'm another year older.

[Snaga]

Very good TF... I cant off-hand remember the slightly pretty singer either. The original was by The Sundays and is way better.:)

Paper-chains are cool. But wait!

* rushes outside and drags in a passing elf *

Here's one I made earlier!:D:D I'm soo pleased I could make that joke... all the Brits will get that, noone else will!)

[Wonko The Sane]

*Giggles* I don't get it! Explain it to me!!

*Looks at Seraph* I can't wait until Christmas vacation!! *dances* 19 days 19 days...lalalalala!!!

*looks at the beginning of the paper Christmas chain* You guys need to branch out...that's soo 1st grade! ;)

*grins at the entire room* Anybody want to guess what I'm counting down to? :D

[TheFool]

Ah but now we've got our technique down and everything :D look at how FAST it's growing - all the bright colours woohoo! We'll stick it up to the four corners, have a cup of tea then get started on something else; this is just the beginning, Wonks...

*Starts whistling a certain TV theme tune ;) *

*sigh* I could get more motivated about Christmas if it snowed more, it never snows here these days though :(

[Frodorocks]

I guess Forget December by Something Coporate is tolerable. I can't wait till break because The Two Towers comes out! 23 days! Frodorocks sits on the floor and starts to string some popcorn and cranberries on a piece of thread.
:) We already have a couple of inches of snow where I live. We have snow September through May.:( That's not very good though.
we only need it in December.:)

[Snaga]

Snow? Whats that? I have a vague memory of snow. When it snows here we get about 1/2 an inch, which of course completely shuts the entire country down.:rolleyes:

* Starts sticking random bits of tinsel onto the elf, who looks a bit disgruntled *

Anyone want to help me decorate this Christmas elf?

[Wonko The Sane]

I do! I do!!

*Grabs a red glass Christmas ball and hangs it from the Elf's ear*

Anyway, it doesn't snow much here at all either, and even then not until January usually. :-/ But as I live on a tall hill when we get ANY snow, and sometimes even just ice we stay home. My mom's car is old and doesn't have four wheel drive and the hill gets really treacherous so we just eat cocoa and throw snowballs at the neighbors' cats.

[TheFool]

Originally posted by Frodorocks
sits on the floor and starts to string some popcorn and cranberries on a piece of thread.
Edible decorations, the best kind!

You have too much snow, it's not fair. I DEMAND TO HAVE SOME SNOW! Like in the old days. Do Americans have the phrase 'being scrubbed' ? (or indeed anyone outside County Durham :) ) a clue: it involves a school, large amounts of snow, and someone's face (yeah I admit it mine occasionally :D )

[Wonko The Sane]

I have NO idea what that means.

*takes a can of that artificial snow they use for spraying on shop windows and starts to spray the Christmas Elf*

[Nimawae's hope]

Hmmm......guess I walked in just in time to miss a whole lot of stuff. *Helps to decorate the elf* Something makes me wonder if this is a very bad idea....

Snow? We don't get tons of it here......every now and then we get a couple of feet though. I hate when that happens. However, I do like to rub my sibling's face in the snow.....of course they do it right back, but then that's half the fun. Any of you get ice storms? Last January (I think) we had a whopper that nearly took out every living tree in our general vicinity. I think we got something like six inches......very bad. Thousands had no heat for weeks.......hehehe....luckily I only had to wait a couple of days!:rolleyes:

Anyway, what were we talking about again?

[Wonko The Sane]

We had an Ice Storm last winter while I was away at school in the Godforsaken North Eastern corner of Indiana.
*shudders* It took out all the trees too.

*takes the prefabricated walls of a store-bought gingerbread house and starts to construct the house around the elf's head like a hat*

[TheFool]

Originally posted by Nimawae's hope
every now and then we get a couple of feet though.
How lucky are you! We just get slush/rain here..

However, I do like to rub my sibling's face in the snow.....of course they do it right back, but then that's half the fun.
Yep, that's 'scrubbing'. So it is just a County Durham term, I thought so ;) :D


ELF: Mind the hair!

[Wonko The Sane]

*Doesn't mind the elf's hair and proceeds to smear it with white frosting as she plasters the gingerbread walls about the elf's head. She takes a lick of the frosting and grimaces*

This stuff is minging! Who eats this?!?

[Nimawae's hope]

Lots of peoples.....maybe it has something to do with the flavor of the elf!:rolleyes:


That's scrubbing, eh? Hmmm......so it's what I thought it was. Good. Nice to know I'm right for once.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Makes another face* Eeew...I don't eat Christmas elf!

*spits out the frosting and picks up a container of red and green sprinkles, she shakes some onto the icing "snow" plastered on the gingerbread roof, then she picks up half a graham cracker and sticks it to the front of the house to serve as a door*

[TheFool]

"In the winter we made gingerbread helmets"

hey I'll eat that if you're not (if frosting is like icing or something).

How about a cup of tea to go with it ;) please :) . And one for Nimawae as well

[Wonko The Sane]

Yes...Frosting IS icing! *leaves her Gingerbread-Elf-Helmet masterpiece and goes to the bar to pour The Fool and Nim some of her famous tea, bringing two steaming cups and saucers to them she returns to her decorations, taking tiny melt-away mints and using them to line the gingerbread window boxes, serving as candy flowers*

[Nimawae's hope]

*Takes the tea* Ah, thank you very much! I enjoy tea whenever I can get it. Don't like coffee, it's evil!
Yes frosting is icing....just a different name. *Looks at the Christmas elf with raised eyebrows* I don't think my family would approve of this.

[TheFool]

It's getting more and more spectacular though! If only he would stand still...

Fool: Oi! Elf! Stand still!!

Excellent tea. I share your coffee sentiments exactly!

[Wonko The Sane]

*Grins and accepts The Fools praise* Thank ye, sir!
;)

*takes bits of Twizzlers Pull & Peel and twists it into a circle, placing it under the eaves of the pointed roof to serve as an attic window, crossing two, tiny, straight candy canes in the center for cross bars*

[Seraph]

Any chance of a brew? I'm parched.
Nice decorations. Almost Christmas again. Where does the time go?
Strange question but does anyone know how much a cheap hotel room in Liverpool for the weekend would cost?

[Wonko The Sane]

No, but I know how much an expensive, swank hotel in Seattle would cost...*starts mumbling under her breath as she saunters over to the bar and gets Seraph a pint from the tap, handing it to her she grins*

Welcome to the British Army Barracks and Tea-Room. :)

*she goes back to decorating the Christmas Elf. She takes small bag of translucent, square, yellow, hard candy and smears a bit of icing on the back, sticking it to the front of the house, and around the sides in a window pane formation, she licks her fingers and then makes a disgusted face.*

This frosting is naff!! Somebody else eat it!!

[FREEDOM!]

I need a martini.

[Rogue666666]

" American paratrooper from the 101st stumbles in, cuts and bruises on his face, looks disconcerted"

Is this Drop Zone F?

[legoman]

only if you're really drunk and the glass slips out of you're hand.

[Nimawae's hope]

*Snorts*
Yes, my good man, I'm afraid this yet another one of those places where you have the option of getting drunk and breaking things.....*SIGHS* Oh how many glasses we break in these places!:rolleyes: :rolleyes:


'Ay, Wonks. If you don't like the bloody icing, then don't eat it!! Nobody's forcing it down your throat!

[Wonko The Sane]

Oh, I'm not REALLY that disgusted.

I'm just trying to get Snaga to lick my finger. ;)

*grins broadly at the rest of the room*

Nobody heard that right?

*she goes back to painting the gingerbread house with sprinkles and licorice*

[Frodorocks]

You know what all of this Christmas stuff calls for? EGGNOG!!!!!!!!!!:D Yes, edible decorations are the best kind. And when they get mold, you can feed them to the birds.:D You can have as much of my snow as you want. (Frodorocks pulls her magic wand out of her un-magic pocket:) and transports all of the snow to outside of The British Army Barracks Tea-Room.) Maybe we can build snow hobbits soon!
:)(for any activists out there, Nov. 29 is buy nothing day. It's for people who want to encourage the true meaning of the holidays and not the greedy resource wasting.)

[Snaga]

I heard that! * Licks finger*

* Gets William Wallace a martini * The service is quite lax here, dont you think Mr Bond? Shaken or stirred?

Seraph... you should try Lastminute.com or somewhere like that.

* A loud banging noise is heard outside, deafening everyone. Snaga goes outside. He yells: *

Shut up!!! Go and do that somewhere else, ok?!!!

* Comes back in *

Sorry about that. Just 12 drummers, decided they needed to practice for some reason.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Suddenly feels very English and apologises to WW profusely*

I'm SOO sorry about that martini!!
I soo meant to get that...and then got so preoccupied what with the frosting and the finger licking and the...ahem..*clears her throat and smooths her skirts and blushes* It won't happen again!
Your next 6 martinis are on the house!

*stands back and admires her newly deocrated Christmas Elf*

Aww...I'm so proud!! *goes back behind the bar to serve customers and realises they're out of eggs*

I can't make EggNog without eggs!! Snaga, hun, will you go buy some eggs for me? :D

[Rogue666666]

*101st Paratrooper looks around bar*HEY, this doesn't look like drop zone F, in fact, thisdoes't even look like Normandy, whats the deal? MAN, those bloody limey's ask us to come over here and fight for em, then all they do is complain, " Over payed, over sexed, and over here!" they scream. PAH! If not for us you would all be singing " Duetchland, Duetchland Uber ALLES!" And being wearing little pathetic mustaches.

*101st Paratrooper finally realizes he's in a bar*

HEY!, you guys got any Budweiser over ere in Limey land?

[Snaga]

Yeah this isnt Normandy. If you were hoping to be in on D-Day, you are not only a long way out of your way, you are also very late. An american late into a war... whoever would have thought it? Shhhh!;)

* Goes outside with a basket, loud squawking is heard, he comes back *

Here are your eggs, Wonks m'dear. There were, by chance, three hens outside. From Normandy, by a strange coincidence.

[Seraph]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Rogue666666
[B]*101st Paratrooper looks around bar*HEY, this doesn't look like drop zone F, in fact, thisdoes't even look like Normandy, whats the deal? MAN, those bloody limey's ask us to come over here and fight for em, then all they do is complain, " Over payed, over sexed, and over here!" they scream. PAH! If not for us you would all be singing " Duetchland, Duetchland Uber ALLES!" And being wearing little pathetic mustaches.

It took you long enough to join the war (and only after you were attacked) and then you try to steal all the glory. *Mutters* Bloody yanks
And as for your sense of direction…

[legoman]

*Legoman suddenly wakes up*
'How long have I been gone, this lighting really puts me to sleep, I'll change it'
*He wanders over to the lights and re-wires them using some technique he learnt in electronics... they light up all flashing in different colours*
'Ah just like at home... well and since its nearly christmas. Barstaff, do you serve Kwak??'

[FREEDOM!]

Originally posted by Seraph
[QUOTE]
[B]It took you long enough to join the war (and only after you were attacked) and then you try to steal all the glory. *Mutters* Bloody yanks
And as for your sense of direction…

*pulls out baretta and shoots Seraph in the left foot* take that i am an American (incase u hadn't noticed) and that offends me so don't even get me started. i'd hate to have to shoot u in the arme the next time.

Thnx Snags, and its ok Wonks, i'll take one of those martinis now, shaken not stirred.

[Wolfshead]

Remember though, Mr Wallace, that this is a British Army barracks. You will find yourself vastly out-numbered in any fights you may start :D

*Shoots William Wallace in the foot*

[TheFool]

Hey don't you know it's illegal to carry firearms in here! And weren't the Home Guard only armed with pitchforks and walking sticks? ;) (actually that sounds more painful...)

Barmaid I will have a martini too if there's any spare, please.

Now does anyone have a dictionary so we can look up 'Kwak' :D
or am I just ignorant :)

[Wolfshead]

Illegal? Nah, it wasn't a gun, it was a, um, ok, it was a gun...

Here's what http://www.dictionary.com has to say on the matter of "Kwak" -
No entry found for kwak.

[TheFool]

Well maybe we can explore this (http://www.alfred-jodocus-kwak.de/) site; or we can await the return of the legoman!

[Snaga]

Firearms are illegal for civilians. Soldiers get guns, don't they? But as this is the British army barracks, only the Brits get to have guns.:D

Disarm that para, and throw him in the glasshouse!!!

Alternatively he could try being friendly to his allies, surrender his weapon peacefully, and come and have a drink. But there's no fun in that, is there?

I'll have cup of Darjeeling, if I may Wonks. All this barking orders is making me horse...

That's a deliberate mistake so someone can amusingly finish that sentence for me, should they so wish;)

[FREEDOM!]

I am in the Air Force, i am alowed to carry a weapon (gun is a civilian term) and if i get attacked my country will launch a war with your country , unless..... well.... no we won't go there.

*Punches CraigSmith in the face then apologizes to everyone*

besides lets not attack each other or each others countries, the last thing we need is a war with each other. to make up for it Drinks for everyone on me .:D :D :D :D

[Seraph]

*gets up off floor after being shot in the foot by FREEDOM!*
Anyone got a wet cloth?
Thanks for the backup CraigSmith;)
I don’t really dislike Americans, so what say we cease the hostilities?
Maybe I should see a doctor about this foot? Nah it’s only a flesh wound.

[Rogue666666]

HEY, it was that other idiot of an American that started the shooting peopl's feet. I on the other hand am just trying to figure uot were Drop Zone F is. AND, you will not disarm me, this 1945 vintage Thompsen sub-Machine gun was VERy hard to find.

And the whole point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other idiot die for his. Patton said that himself, though I slightly eddited it. So I'll take that drink, you silly comrade, and once again I ask, DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY BUDWEISER????

SO, wadda you say we take out our fustrations on those stupid goose steeping "UBERRACE"

I

[legoman]

Huh... you are all so uncooth.
Kwak is an imported real ale - or at least imported to Britain, Its brewed in belgium, its 8%, and it is served in the best glass in the world...

Its better than blooming budweiser.

I think this link will work:

http://home.mn.rr.com/artisanal/NewFiles/Bosteels.html

at the bottom of the page!

[FREEDOM!]

sorry to everyone, and i am not an idiot ROGUE666666, i was just.....ummm......i dunno......

[TheFool]

Now that is a cool glass :) . 8% is loopy juice!

[FREEDOM!]

Originally posted by TheFool
Now that is a cool glass :) . 8% is loopy juice!

WHAT?????

[Wolfshead]

Originally posted by FREEDOM!
sorry to everyone, and i am not an idiot ROGUE666666, i was just.....ummm......i dunno......
...American?

*Ducks from punch, and sends a right into Freedom's stomach*

There, pointless squabbling over, Britain wins.

Answer me this though, Freedom. You are "100% American", call yourself William Wallace and then Freedom!, and hang around in a British Army bar, talking about Americans. What are you? :confused:

[FREEDOM!]

I am an American, and i happen to be sorta friends with some of the people in here , but not those that are dissing America, don't get me wrong i love Britan, i just don't like people who don't like America.

[Rogue666666]

GOD BLESS THE USA!!!!

AND WERE IS MY DRINK????

Also, if you don't shut up you fool of a limey, than I'm going to petition my government to luanch thermonuclear missles at your pitifull island, besides, it would only take about three to wipe all of you off the face of the earth. In a free country the common man has a part in the government, what you limeys call democracy is bull, your nation is socialist, which is about three feet away from bieng communist.

MY sence of direction? PAH! You Brits tried to build an empire and were is it now? Whats left is scattered across the globe, and there's not even that much left. Thankfully you had Margeret to help keep whats left together, ie. Falkan Islands ring a bell? But FINE. let your government control you, IN FACT, why don't you guys try bieng the Fourth riech? You might be pretty good at it. :D

[Wolfshead]

Ok, so the way not to get America dissed, is to not to give abuse to British people. Then I'm sure we'll get on just fine.

And I've always loved the way some Americans have no idea what they're talking about regarding politics, great isn't it?

That was a rhetorical question. Now, let us stop comparing Britain to America, I could argue for ages about it, but I'm not going to. I suspect some of us are close to Warning Points on this matter.

Story over.

[Frodorocks]

Stabs Freedom! in the arm with an icicle. :D (evil laugh) That's what you get for trying to punch Craig. Stabs Craig in the arm with the icicle. That's what you get for punching Freedom! (looks sheepish) I'll stop now.:rolleyes: :) I think that America is a nice place, but American tick me off because they think that everyone else should act like Americans and they have no respect for other cultures.:mad: But I'm just talking about Americans in general, Freedom! and Rogue and all of the other Americans I've met here seem like nice people.:)

[Snaga]

* shouts in a very loud voice *

This tea-room is for the use of the British Army, and their friends and associates to have a relaxing time, discuss their culture and generally be FRIENDLY! It is not here for either dissing other peoples culture, nor as a platform for other people to diss the British. So all of you... enough of this! It has stopped being funny. If you can't behave, get out! If the behaviour in here does not improve, I will get the thread closed. I am totally serious.

Now... I need a cornish pasty....

[FREEDOM!]

OK OK, i will stop! O thanks FrodoRocks, *pulls icicle out of his shoulder and licks the blood off of it, then uses it to chill his margarita a little more*.

[Rogue666666]

All the Americans here seem nice ehh?

Shows how much you know.

JUST KIDDING!

I have a very deep and profound respect for the British empire, not in the least because they have been one of our very closest allies.

And besideds, what would ever happen to fish and chips if all the Brits dissapeared? IT would be a disaster! We americans would all go around confused about what "chips" are. and instaed of fries we would eat those greasy "chips" tat Americans love to consume in such large quantities.

NOW, if this were a French army barraks....

Nevermind, I won't go there.

SO WERE IS MY BEER? I've got a few quid burning a whole in my pocket! I want a drink now! Anything in the form of liquid will be fine.

[Snaga]

Very well... as Wonks appears to be slightly busy, I'll find you a bud, buddy.

* hands Rogue6666666666 a bud from the fridge *

We keep a few of those in stock for our American cousins. Alternatively you could try a pint of Pompey Royal. That'll put hairs on your chest...:D

[Ecthelion]

A dwarf walks in quite confused looking. He looks around and sits at the bar. He says while staring around the tea room "Gimmie a Bud Light."

[Rogue666666]

WHAT!, Are you insinuating that I have bno hair on my chest? HA!

I won't even waste my time proving you wrong either.

*Takes one long pull at the beer and drains the whole bottle*, THAT is good stuff.

[Snaga]

I have no knowledge of your chest hair, and nor any great desire to learn. Perhaps you should stay away from the Pompey Royal then... who knows where you might start growing hair if you drink it...

* glances at palms of hands *

Here's another bud for you my friend. I can tell you were just about to ask.

[legoman]

snaga, mate, chuck us a kwak while you're up there, its next to the duval. cheers, I think wonks got lost in the cellar.

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Rogue666666
*101st Paratrooper looks around bar*HEY, this doesn't look like drop zone F, in fact, thisdoes't even look like Normandy, whats the deal? MAN, those bloody limey's ask us to come over here and fight for em, then all they do is complain, " Over payed, over sexed, and over here!" they scream. PAH! If not for us you would all be singing " Duetchland, Duetchland Uber ALLES!" And being wearing little pathetic mustaches.

*101st Paratrooper finally realizes he's in a bar*

HEY!, you guys got any Budweiser over ere in Limey land?

Sounds like a quote from a movie, methinks. Maybe not. *shrugs and reaches her hand into a barrell full of ice and beer. She pulls out a Budweiser and tosses the golden bottle to the 101st Paratrooper.*
I'm warning you though, keep insulting my Brits and I'll have you thrown out!
As barmaid I can do that you know!

Originally posted by snaga1
Yeah this isnt Normandy. If you were hoping to be in on D-Day, you are not only a long way out of your way, you are also very late. An american late into a war... whoever would have thought it? Shhhh!;)
* Goes outside with a basket, loud squawking is heard, he comes back *
Here are your eggs, Wonks m'dear. There were, by chance, three hens outside. From Normandy, by a strange coincidence.

Thank you, luv. *goes about mixing EggNog the Martha Stewart way. ie-Lots of booze!*

Originally posted by legoman
*Legoman suddenly wakes up*
'How long have I been gone, this lighting really puts me to sleep, I'll change it'
*He wanders over to the lights and re-wires them using some technique he learnt in electronics... they light up all flashing in different colours*
'Ah just like at home... well and since its nearly christmas. Barstaff, do you serve Kwak??'

Of course we do! *reaches into her Infinite Ale Barrell and pulls out a Kwak for Legoman* Cheers, mate!

Originally posted by FREEDOM!
*pulls out baretta and shoots Seraph in the left foot* take that i am an American (incase u hadn't noticed) and that offends me so don't even get me started. i'd hate to have to shoot u in the arme the next time.

Thnx Snags, and its ok Wonks, i'll take one of those martinis now, shaken not stirred.

*Shakes up Strider(Aragorn's martini and slides it down the bar*
There will be no shooting of Brits in my bar, people!! And furthermore, S(A, if you're going to be ordering martinis, and you don't like the Brits, you might not want to order them James Bond fashion. Just a hint
Originally posted by CraigSmith
Remember though, Mr Wallace, that this is a British Army barracks. You will find yourself vastly out-numbered in any fights you may start :D

*Shoots William Wallace in the foot*

As I am an American and I just decreed no shooting I suppose I must say don't shoot S(A there...so um...yeah. Don't shoot the Americans and whatnot.
Originally posted by TheFool
Hey don't you know it's illegal to carry firearms in here! And weren't the Home Guard only armed with pitchforks and walking sticks? ;) (actually that sounds more painful...)

Barmaid I will have a martini too if there's any spare, please.

Now does anyone have a dictionary so we can look up 'Kwak' :D
or am I just ignorant :)

*mixes up a martini for The Fool* You are so sensible...and so right! This is the BRITISH Army Barracks and Tea-Room. No guns in Britain sillies!!! *confiscates all the weapons, even the 101st paratroopers special whatsa-hoozit and slips them into the infiinite recesses of her magic pockets, never to be seen again*

Originally posted by snaga1
Firearms are illegal for civilians. Soldiers get guns, don't they? But as this is the British army barracks, only the Brits get to have guns.:D

Disarm that para, and throw him in the glasshouse!!!

Alternatively he could try being friendly to his allies, surrender his weapon peacefully, and come and have a drink. But there's no fun in that, is there?

*sets a kettle to boil and begins to make Snaga his tea* Mm...cosy...like a Sunday morning. *daydreams*

And you're wrong, these people can't be trusted with guns. But as you're an official member of the British Army you can keep yours...if you have one...

Originally posted by Rogue666666
DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY BUDWEISER????


We do! And you do too now! Have patience, friend!


CraigSmith, be nice...S(A stop causing trouble! And Rogue, if you call my Brits "limeys" one more time I'M gonna get violent! :mad:

Originally posted by Rogue666666
GOD BLESS THE USA!!!!

AND WERE IS MY DRINK????

Also, if you don't shut up you fool of a limey, than I'm going to petition my government to luanch thermonuclear missles at your pitifull island, besides, it would only take about three to wipe all of you off the face of the earth. In a free country the common man has a part in the government, what you limeys call democracy is bull, your nation is socialist, which is about three feet away from bieng communist.

MY sence of direction? PAH! You Brits tried to build an empire and were is it now? Whats left is scattered across the globe, and there's not even that much left. Thankfully you had Margeret to help keep whats left together, ie. Falkan Islands ring a bell? But FINE. let your government control you, IN FACT, why don't you guys try bieng the Fourth riech? You might be pretty good at it. :D

So you're rude AND impatient!!! I take great offense to that and I'm not even British!! Even if I DIDN'T want to move far far away and settle in the English countryside I'd STILL kick your arse! Get out of the bar and have a time out and when you can get along with the Brits you can come back, ok?

Originally posted by snaga1
* shouts in a very loud voice *

This tea-room is for the use of the British Army, and their friends and associates to have a relaxing time, discuss their culture and generally be FRIENDLY! It is not here for either dissing other peoples culture, nor as a platform for other people to diss the British. So all of you... enough of this! It has stopped being funny. If you can't behave, get out! If the behaviour in here does not improve, I will get the thread closed. I am totally serious.

Now... I need a cornish pasty....

I was just about to do that...Thank you, dear.
*goes to her kitchen to look up the recipe for a cornish pasty* Are you SURE you want one, luv?

*reaches into her beer barrell and pulls out a can of Bud Light and tosses it to Nain* Cheers, dwarf-boy! ;)

Btw, in case you haven't noticed, in protest of "FREEDOM!"'s frequent name changes I've decided to refer to him as Strider(Aragorn again. Or just S(A. Too complicated otherwise.


(Sorry it took so long...don't have internet at home and it was the Thanksgiving Holidays...Which shouldn't be an excuse in the British Army Barracks and Tea-Room...but it's still MY excuse. ;) )

[Snaga]

Oh I wouldnt try to make a cornish pasty yourself, dear. I'm sure you'll find they make them at the bakery. Just order some in!:)

[Wonko The Sane]

Hehe. I would never try in real life, but as this is suspended reality I just MIGHT be a good cook! ;)

Or I could just do this! *reaches into her magic pockets, pulls out a pasty and hands it to Snaga*

There you are, luv.

[Rogue666666]

HEY!, I already apologized to that quote!, Or did you miss that? Whaterver, I've got my drink, and if you want to kick me out, then fine! *Hiccup!* But you'll never take me alive!* Paratroper slumps to the floor unconcuis.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Decides that as the paratrooper doesn't seem to be in a general position to cause trouble she's not going to kick him out quite yet*

But if you say "limey" one more time...even in your sleep..you're out!!!

I mean it!!

*Goes back to serving drinks, cursing time zones, hating phone bills, and being generally nervous about something she can't quite put her finger on. Occasionaly she can be heard to murmur *11 days Wow...**

[Rogue666666]

The 101st Paratrooper sudenly leaps up.

Limey! Limey! Limey! he yells, then dashes out the door.

A few seconds later he returns and asks, " can I have my gun back?":D

[Wonko The Sane]

Not unless you want me to shoot you with it!!! Anyway, it's already been incinerated somewhere in the fiery depths of my magic pockets.

You go outside and sit by the watering trough and think about what you've done, young man!! And don't you come back until you've...*realises she sounds a bit too much like someone's mum and changes her tune*

You go have quiet shut up time now!!!!

[Rogue666666]

Paratrooper is on the verge of tears, 'im SORRY!

He quickly turns around and runs at the door.

[Wonko The Sane]

*Suddenly feels guilty and wildly apologetic* Come back! Come back!! Don't cry!!

Just promise to be nice to the Brits ok? I love the Brits! "*extrapolates wildly from a sample of one*" :)

*Suddenly feels very English at her need to apologise* See...I'm practically English already!! WHY WON'T THEY LET ME INTO THEIR BLOODY COUNTRY?!?!

*Calms down and begins to research the possibilities of actually switching places with Thôl as he certainly doesn't want to be British anymore*

[Rogue666666]

Ok, Ok , i'm back. this is such a cozy bar anyways! *Hiccup* yipppeee! Party!!!!, We all love you British ppl! YAY!

[Wonko The Sane]

As for the comment about loving British people I refer to my previous statement on extrapolations and sample sizes. :rolleyes:

Anyway, you're right. It IS cosy here, and I don't attribute that so much to the Christmas decorations, the roaring fire, the comforting teas and cakes, and the overall chummy atmosphere so much as I attribute it to Snaga's warming presence. *hugs the orc as he walks past carrying his empty tea cup to the kettle to be refilled*

Sorry...couldn't stop myself. :rolleyes: :D

[FREEDOM!]

Sorry bout all that, and u can still call me that, how bouts a turkey in honor of thanksgiving!

[Wonko The Sane]

This it the BRITISH Army Barracks and Tea-Room!! The British don't HAVE Thanksgiving, silly S(A!!! :) Unless they secretly celebrate how glad they are to be rid of us crazy Americans! ;)

*tosses Strider(Aragorn a bag of Turkey Jerky* Eat this! Is that sufficiently Thanksgiving enough for you? ;)

[Rogue666666]

BUT YOUR AN AMERICAN WONKO! can't you sympathize wih us? We can have turkey just because Turkey is yummy! Beer and Turkey! Turkey and Beer! YYYIIIIIPPPPEEEE!!!!!

[legoman]

anyone got any bourbons? I'm feeling peckish.

[FREEDOM!]

Hey the Turkey Jerky will work, but whats better than turky is Ham, how bouts ham and beer.

[Frodorocks]

This one time I told one of my British friends happy thanksgiving, and ended up feeling like a silly American. Don't you have to have a spouse, a parent, or a child in Britain to move to Britain? I kind of remeber reading that. Oh well, shant be hard.:)

[Wonko The Sane]

Shhh!!! You don't have to have any of those necessarily!!! There are other ways to emigrate.

Now we're not talking about this anymore. We'll talk about turkey.

No. We're not having any cos I hate Thanksgiving. We can have a ham if you want.
That's sufficiently Christmas-y. *puts a ham to bake in the oven*

[FREEDOM!]

Y do u hate Thanksgiving wonks???

[Rogue666666]

Ham and Beer! Beer and Ham! YIIIPPPEEE!!!!

*suddenly snaps out fo it and realizes he's a combat veteran*

"Hmmmm, I knew that shell shock was gonna catch up with me one day".
He mumbles to himself.

[Snaga]

Well we could have had a special event to celebrate our American cousins holiday. But most of us were too involved in a fight between the British and the Americans. Hmmm. Maybe that WAS the best way to mark the occasion!;)

Where did that elf go?

[legoman]

OKlet me check after silly arguements about made up american holidays, we have got as far as cancelling turkey and bringing in ham cos its 'suffiently chritmassy' now this may just be me but is turkey not the standard meat served at christmas??? I mean sure its that huge meal when you have all the sausages, ham, pigs-in-blanket etc but turkey is the main meat. So surely we can have turkey, that would be even more sufficiently christmassy. Oh and can we have yorkshire puddings too, cos they're the best!

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by FREEDOM!
Y do u hate Thanksgiving wonks???

Because this Thanksgiving was the worst...don't ask. You don't want to know and even if you did I wouldn't tell you...
*shudders*

Originally posted by snaga1
Well we could have had a special event to celebrate our American cousins holiday. But most of us were too involved in a fight between the British and the Americans. Hmmm. Maybe that WAS the best way to mark the occasion!;)

Where did that elf go?

Hehe...true...true...:) You're quite right, m'dear.

And what elf? The Christmas Elf with the Gingerbread House on his Head? *wonders why she has random words capitalized and decides to just go with it*

Yeah, well he's over there, in the corner, hiding...He's afraid I'll come after him with the frosting again.
*goes over to the corner and crouches down, making cooing noises and talking to the elf in much the same way stupid relatives talk to babies*
I won't...I'm done with the icing, you can come out now, I promise not to cover