URGENT!!! I need your comments.

[Lhunithiliel]

I'm writing an article about friendship, love and discussions on the Internet and why have the "chat-rooms" and forums become so popular lately.

I need your comments on the subject! :)

WONKO and SNAGA, I am particularly looking forward to read your comments, because your story has actually inspired me to write this article!

WEBMASTER, I woud be extremely interested to learn your opinion on this, too - Why do people like you spend money on opening forums around the Internet?

I'm going to make you famous, guys, in whole North-Eastern Bulgaria .....though what would you care about becoming famous in a country somewhere far in the "Wild East"?! ;)

Anyway, I really hope to get a lot of responses from all the TTF-members.
I guess, the main question is - Why, Oh, Why you prefer hanging around in chat-rooms and forums and make friends (and/or enemies) THERE, instead of going out and meet them in person?

N.B.!!! I shall also need your permission to quote some of your comments (or at least parts of them).

Thank you in advance!

Lhun :)

[Aulë]

Why, Oh, Why you prefer hanging around in chat-rooms and forums and make friends (and/or enemies) THERE, instead of going out and meet them in person?


I do both...
But not too many of my friends are obsessed with Tolkien as much as I am, I find it much more satisfying talking to other Tolkien-obsessed people when I want to talk about Tolkien.

Also, forums are a good way to make friends and contacts overseas. I guess it have taken over the "pen-pal" system.

Also, when I'm bored, I go to a forum to entertain myself, lol, this forum has become a better read than the local gossip magazines, with the Snaga/Wonks saga!:p

[Nenya Evenstar]

I'll give you my two cents. :D

Like Pippin said, it's a lot nicer to discuss Tolkien with people who really, truly appreciate Tolkien's works like I do. There is also no way to debate and discuss the books in depth like you can on here.

The other main reason for me is simply that I have overly-strict parents who prefer to have me stay at home all the time. So, because I have a limited way to meet friends, I spend as much time as I can online chatting with my Tolkien buddies (thanks to MSN) and discussing Tolkien with them on the forums. It's a great outlet to the world when you have no other choice.

[Snaga]

I do both as well. I go out quite often with my 'real life' friends but I have fun here too cos its rare to meet people quite as into LotR as I am in other contexts.

As for the Wonks and me thing... * feels bashful * er... what do you want to know?:)

[Talierin]

I have very few friends in real life.... in fact, you guys know both of them, them being Aerin and Asha'man. I find it hard to make friends irl, I'm homeschooled, and I don't get out much (except to youth group, and I'm just starting to talk to a couple people there). So, I've made a lot of net friends, one of them being Ciryaher, who is prolly the best friend I've ever had. I just find it easier to make friends on the net. It's easier to meet people who love the same stuff as you (Denver seems to be sadly lacking in "geeks", for lack of a better term), and easier to talk to them, imo. I'm not shy, but irl I usually don't talk to people unless a)I have to, or b) they start talking to me first. So the net is great for me.

And as for meeting net people, it's great fun when you've talked to them for a long time. When I met Cir and Morwen last summer it was great!

[FREEDOM!]

Originally posted by Talierin
I have very few friends in real life.... in fact, you guys know both of them, them being Aerin and Asha'man. I find it hard to make friends irl, I'm homeschooled, and I don't get out much (except to youth group, and I'm just starting to talk to a couple people there). So, I've made a lot of net friends, one of them being Ciryaher, who is prolly the best friend I've ever had. I just find it easier to make friends on the net. It's easier to meet people who love the same stuff as you (Denver seems to be sadly lacking in "geeks", for lack of a better term), and easier to talk to them, imo. I'm not shy, but irl I usually don't talk to people unless a)I have to, or b) they start talking to me first. So the net is great for me.

And as for meeting net people, it's great fun when you've talked to them for a long time. When I met Cir and Morwen last summer it was great!

I am also home shcooled but most of my friends are on this forum!

[Lhunithiliel]

Thank you all for having posted your opinions!

You've however said nothing about permitting me quoting you!
Do you?

Originally posted by snaga1
I do both as well. I go out quite often with my 'real life' friends but I have fun here too cos its rare to meet people quite as into LotR as I am in other contexts.

As for the Wonks and me thing... * feels bashful * er... what do you want to know?:)
Well......If it is not too much for you....I'd ask you both to write a few words about how you met here and how then it came to .... the GRAND event, you know... ;) I have prepared a special place for your words in the article.
It's almost ready now - my part, I mean, and it only needs to add some opinions. I'm getting some response from people around here and having opinions from TTF-members quoted will make a very interesting article.... I expect!

Go ahead!

And thanks again! :)

P.S. Oh! And if anyone apart from the WebMaster has a forum site, I'd much appreciate his/her oppinion on the question: What makes you spend money on having a forum-site?"

[Talierin]

Sure, go ahead and quote me if you like, I don't mind.


I had a message board once, but it was free... I mostly got it just to see what it was like to run one. I discovered it was too much work, hehehe.

[Nenya Evenstar]

You may quote me if you wish, Lhun. :)

[Gil-Galad]

Originally posted by Nenya Evenstar
I'll give you my two cents. :D

Like Pippin said, it's a lot nicer to discuss Tolkien with people who really, truly appreciate Tolkien's works like I do. There is also no way to debate and discuss the books in depth like you can on here.

That is right!
I would add also that is a kind of relaxation and chance to stay at home for a while,:D :D and have a rest.But I think I am not addicted to chat rooms etc.

[gate7ole]

posted by Nenya Evenstar
It's a lot nicer to discuss Tolkien with people who really, truly appreciate Tolkien's works like I do. There is also no way to debate and discuss the books in depth like you can on here.
This is the main reason for me.
I think Lhun that you also want to hear the opposite voice on the matter. I don’t make “friends” on the forum. I use it only for its “educational” aspect. That is why I don’t participate in most “non-Tolkien” discussions. Of course, I have a closer relationship with some (e.g you), but I don’t believe that this media is capable of forming true friendships. But then again, through constant communication with some people, I have become quite familiar and could describe them as “net-friends”. With some of them, I’m sure we would be great friends in the outside life. Well, I guess it is the natural evolution of any human communication (whatever media is used), to end in friendship or hatred. In the end, I don’t think that my thoughts differ much from the others’.

PS. I didn’t realize that many of you know each other from real life. I thought that such a possibility was minimal.
Ah, and you have my permission to quote anything from me. Besides who of the readers will know me (except you)?

[Finduilas]

I have a both e-friends and usual ones.But I don't think e-ones make very strong relationships.
Oh,I have only one friend from the forum who I know personaly-Gil-Galad,but I hope that some day I will meet you too,Lhun.;)
Anyway,if you wish you can quote me.

[Eöl]

I try not to make too many e-friends on AIM and the like, but it is pretty cool talking to someone who lives halfway across the world from you! As a few people have pointed out, it's not every day you meet someone who is into Tolkien as much as you are. There are 4 people I think, in my school of 2500 that have read LotR or even The Hobbit! So that would be my main reason, I really like this site because it has something for all Tolkien fans.

[Aerin]

I prefer the Internet because people don't judge me on the basis of how I look or what kind of car I drive (or don't drive, heh). In new social settings, people tend to think I'm either a freakish outcast or a snob; neither of which I am... all of the time. ;)

I have very few friends that live near me; Tal being the most notorious of them. My others include Ash, and a couple people who aren't on the forum.

I've never done too well in social settings, because I'm very quiet and withdrawn; I'm usually completely ignored and invisible. (Think Mia from the Princess Diaries movie)
That's pretty much it, heh...

[Anamatar IV]

I have pretty much :regular basis" e-friends as real friends. But, I do think that the e-friends are "better" friends. As Aerin said, friends in real life judge you. Simple as that. It is easier to get into fights with real friends, and then harder to make up.

Emotions really mak a difference:

as I said-it is harder to make up in real life because there is a lot of pride in you when dealing with a real friend. but, say on MSN, what is the need to have pride in yourself? It is as simple as a block button if need be.

Shyness. In real life shyness comes in the way of making friends. No reason to be shy online.

But out of real friends other good qualities come...you can have them stick up for you. Online if you get into a disagreement and you know someone that would stick up for you, well if they are offline tough luck.

You can engage in activities with real friends. Online you can really just TALK...

btw-no objection to quoting me

[Hirila]

posted by Anamatar IV
But, I do think that the e-friends are "better" friends. As Aerin said, friends in real life judge you. Simple as that. It is easier to get into fights with real friends, and then harder to make up.

I cannot agree with this at all! Perhaps we should define "friendship" before we talk about it. What is friendship. To talk about things both like ( in case it is two people involved) and to get oneself assured of how clever you are, how much you know, how nice a temper you have. Oh my God! Never in my life would I want to have friends who approve of all what I do and say!

I came to this forum by chance. And I liked it here. It had been relaunched only three or four months before as I learned later (I still do not know if that's right) and I "saw" that some peple here knew each other. I stayed here because I want to share my opinion about Tolkien and his works and want to hear what others have to say. Only few of my friends are into Tolkien as much as I am. Most people I know or get to know are astonished how a young woman knows so much about SF, Fantasy, LotR, Role Plays and all that. It is good to have this appreciated.
But to find real friends on an internet forum? I don't know if that is possible. I think to be able to make a real friend of someone you meet here you have to meet him in real life. Or at least extend the connection to instant messaging, e-mailing, and the telephone.

I think friends are there to prevent me of doing ill-considered things. I want them to critisize me and tell me when I'm wrong, give me an opposite in discussions. I want to learn from them an dI want them to learn from me. I always try to act like that here too. And in fact I like those people here best, who have once or twice said the opposite of what I felt on a topic. It is some kind of thrill.

And it is a thrill imagining the people behind the characters here. Oh yes. I think of most people here as of characters simply because I cannot believe that most people here tell the truth about themselves. Who can say if that girl from Russia isn't a widow from Bolivia in real life! Noone. To tell the truth I have once or twice lied myself about my real life. Nothing spectacular, I only made up a boyfriend. But that's another reason why I stay on the forum. Simple curiousity about who I'm talking to.

I would very much like to meet someone who is a member of this forum, too. And I have asked virtually everyone I know if he likes Tolkien and if yes if he knows this forum. But so far noone did.

[Nenya Evenstar]

I am having a hard time placing my finger on this sudden thing that has come up about not meeting real friends online. I find it hard to believe that people do not think you can meet real friends online. I have personally known a person who met a great guy online and went on in real life to become great friends with that person. Snaga and Wonko are yet another example. I'm sure that they considered themselves friends while online before they met. I know from my own personal experience that I have met quite a few people on this forum who are great friends. I know for a fact that if I ever meet them in life they will continue to be great friends.

I am also astonished that people would lie more over the internet than they would in real life. I guess part of it could point to whether or not you consider the people you're meeting as real friends. Would you ever lie to your friend's face? I wouldn't.... And because I wouldn't lie to my friend's face I wouldn't lie to anyone's face here online. That confuses me. And since I personally wouldn't do that, I have more trust in other people not to do that to me. I guess maybe that trust isn't always fulfilled, but hey? I'd personally rather trust the people I meet than be filled with all these secret ideas that "maybe" they are telling me lies. It wouldn't make for very pleasant conversations.

I do know that I don't treat my friends online any differently than my friends in real life. I guess part of this "getting to know them" thing is due to the fact that I'm on MSN so much talking to the TTF people. I see my TTF friends on a daily-basis and talk to them on MSN everyday. So yes, I do have real friends online, and I really enjoy talking to them. You are all missing out on a lot if you do not think you can get real online friends!

[Asha'man]

I hang out on forums for the express purpose of meeting similarly-interested people who might know things that can help me. Stangnet leaps to mind, as do Bladeforums, 3.8Mustang, TurboFord, and CDNMustang. Doesn't explain why I hang out here, though. :p I should really join my local Mustang club, just to get the real-life experience and learning from other owners, but 35,000 members on Stangnet have a lot of useful information. :)

I know lots of people in real life, through work, choir, Civil Air Patrol, church, homeschool group stuff (from waaay back), and just other places. If I want to see a movie with someone, or hang out, or whatever, I have people to call.

And I'll give a shout-out to Tal and Aerin. :D

Ash

P.S. Quote me if need be.

[Wonko The Sane]

Yay! My opinion is of value here!

Hehe. You have permission to quote any stupid comments I may make and such.

As Snaga said, what do you want to know? :D I love talking about it! My new favorite topic!

As far as why I prefer meeting people on the internet instead of in person...

Well that's not really true...but I'll give my take on it.

I was going to say that I actually wasn't all that big into talking to people on the internet until last May when I joined The Tolkien Forum but it took me all of two seconds to realise that wasn't true.

When I was 12 my grandmother got the internet at her house and my brother and I joined forces and used it mainly for MSN chats about Star Wars, our then-favorite topic. I actually made quite a good friend that way, and was actually semi-interested in him as a boyfriend until I turned 14, and met a guy in real life. I didn't particularly fancy him but being 14 I dated him anyway..and ended up staying with him for four years...which is another story.
But during those 4 years I didn't chat with anyone on the internet except people I knew from school already, and even then hardly at all.
I did spend ludicrous amounts of time creating a website which I am currently updating and revamping but that's another story as well.
When I went away to college, broke up with that one guy, and spent long amounts of time away from home, I got back into the internet scene thingy. I used it to keep in touch with friends back home, but I still didn't talk to anyone I didn't know in person.
People would randomly message me on AIM and ICQ and I'd ignore them.
I wasn't interested in getting to know them.

Then something happened. The guy that I was dating by then cheated on me. I found out through his good friend. The one he cheated on me with. Who randomly messaged me when she saw my name on his IM profile.
We started talking, sharing stories, and found out we had nearly EVERYTHING in common.
Kara, is my East-Coast counterpart. She's like my clone. We have nearly everything in common starting from an INSANE love of Radiohead, and an INTENSE hatred for the color orange, right down to an addiction to Diet Pepsi, and a strange squishy sensation in our hands and feet when we get drunk. ;)
She's now one of my best friends.
We've never met.
But we chat and talk on the phone ALL the time.
:) She's going to be a bridesmaid in my wedding.

I think that then I realised that there are millions of people out there who are potentially great friends or lovers whom one might never meet without the internet. I kind of opened my mind to the possibility of chatting with people I'd never met before. I'd made such good friends with Kara that I realised that thinking meeting people online was dumb was in and of itself dumb.
People are people no matter where you meet them.

And then, that spring, I left school and came back home. My brother and I once again joined forces to wreak havoc on TTF. ;) He decided to go and get himself banned, but whereas I'd joined with little Tolkien background and no real desire to post about anything other than, "Why didn't Sauron turn The One Ring into a monocle with spoilers and Mo-Mo rims?" I'd suddenly become totally interested and completely absorbed. Not just with the forum topics and conversations but with the people.

The first person I had any sort of conversation with was Beorn. He PMed and e-mailed me to tell me to stop talking junk-talk on the serious discussion threads.
At first I was like, "He's probably a fat 40-year-old trucker from Montana with no wife, no kids, no job, and no life."
But then I did something I usually didn't do...
I got to know him. Found out his name and age and interests and started talking to him. :)
My first TTF friend.

And then I thought, "Beorn's cool. If I was wrong about him I could be wrong about all sorts of people here."

I decided to give "internet people" a chance. ;)

I gradually began to realise that there was a seriously large volume of Brits on the forum, all with British accents which I think I might love more than should be allowed. ;)

So I posted a thread about British things and got to know the British Army. :) My favorite threads from that time period were basically limited to, "Question for the British" "Who should Legolam love?" "Does Legoman, in fact, rock?" and "The British Army" :) But I just found every member of the British Army to have a great personality, and a great sense of humour. Snaga especially.
And we started talking...
Hehe.
I didn't post much over the summer but when I went back to school in the fall I came on more and more and Snaga and I started talking again.
And something happened.
Neither of us know what.
And I doubt we ever will.
But we clicked.
We hit it off.
We started talking on the phone.
We decided we should "date".
We fell in love.
We met.
We got engaged. ;)

More details? Just ask. I don't know what all you want to know about that time period.

At first I thought it weird...not weird that I liked Snaga...that was as natural as breathing...*insert annoyed eye rolls at excessive sappiness here*...but more surprised that I of all people would get involved in an internet relationship.
The last time I'd even had a friend who I had NO personal connections with was when I was 13.
But I dunno...something made me give it more weight than the me of 3 months before that would have.

Anyway, yeah. Now I have LOADS of internet friends! And I want to meet them all!
And I plan on meeting as many as possible.

As far as meeting peopl in person vs. on the internet it's not that I'd rather interact with people on the internet.
I mean, I am shy and it's hard for me to meet new people and harder for me to make friends.
It is.
It bothers me.
But I DO value interaction with "real" people too.

Anyway, remind me to write more about real vs. internet people later.

[Lhunithiliel]

O-o-o-o-o!!!!
The hour of revelation!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH, Wonko! (though now you'll give me some hard time to translate your story when I'll put it in the article! ;) :D )
I've just been at the office of the newspaper for which I'm preparing the article and they are expecting the story with great interest!
And you are welcome to tell ANYthing you'd wish!

Now..... it's SNAGA's turn to "reveal" his heart ;)

And your story - published will be my wedding present for you !!!

And THANKS AGAIN ALL OF YOU who have answered in this thread!
Keep on!

[Snaga]

I wrote a long post out, which told you everything you could possibly wish to know... and then I lost it cos I got logged out... very frustrating!

I'll give you a briefer version now...

I came to TTF primarily because of the movies. I've read LotR a lot, so PJ's interpretation of them was something I wanted to get other people's opinions about. I have plenty of other friends but not the Tolkien fans with the in depth understanding you find here, and similar forums.

Before that I used the internet to get information... never to make friends, and the idea of meeting a 'special someone' would have seemed weird. I didnt need to make friends on the internet... I have plenty of 'real' world ones too. But I value the friendships I've made here, cos there are so many cool people who I'd never have got to know otherwise

So I ended up making lots of friends... firstly by posting on the same threads, then by PMing people and then by chatting via MSN Messenger or AIM. Someone how Wonks and I hit it off immediately. We just did...

The time we first agreed to talk on the phone was a moment of truth. That's when you are talking to a 'real person'... That first call lasted 45 minutes and seemed like 45 seconds. That's when it all became real. We talked on the phone a lot before deciding I should come visit. By that stage we were already in love. Its true.. love before first sight. When we met the only thing that was weird was that there was nothing strange about it at all. We just carried on as though we had known each other for months. And in a way we had... The moment we first met at the airport was magical... my suitcase went round and round the baggage reclaim thing at least twice.:D

Umm that's enough for now and anyway Wonks is texting me demanding a phone call so I gotta run!!!

Best of luck with the article!!!

[Gil-Galad]

Originally posted by Lhunithiliel
I've just been at the office of the newspaper for which I'm preparing the article and they are expecting the story with great interest!

Which newspaper?
......last week I had so much work to so that I even hadn't enough time to sleep.When I woke that morning and I felt that I MUST enter i-net tonight and especially in the forum.I felt addicted.I felt so because I have many good friends here and I missed them.
I don't know why,or I can't explain why but I feel that the friends from the forum are of grear importance to me.Although I have lots of friends I can't without you guys!:cool: :cool:

[Ithrynluin]

Like many have said so far, this forum offers quality Tolkien discussions or even chit-chat. Of all my close friends, only one has read Tolkien (and I introduced her to it). Some are very close minded regarding fantasy, saying it's "****" or "nonsense"...etc.
To each their own, I say.
As for making friends on the internet...I must say that the closeness gained in real life with a really good friend, cannot be achieved via the internet. It has come pretty close to that with some people though, and I must say I'm enjoying it, though I sometimes (ahem....always) spend way too much time here and neglect my obligations.
:)

[Melian]

My reason for being here is personal.
The Internet has always been a means to relieve myself from a depression in real life. I found the forum by chance, and I realized it was very appropriate for the purpose of distracting myself from problems. It has been successful except once. I had a terrible period of six months when I felt so bad that I didn't even have the will to approach a computer.
Whatever you say, guys, nothing can replace face-to-face communication and friendship. You can't kiss a computer, can you?

[Niniel]

I don't have a lot of real friends, but I don't go on the internet to find friends because I'm lonely in real life or something. TTF is the only internet forum I visit, and I only came here because I was looking for a place where I could discuss Tolkien stuff with others who love it and know a lot about it. My real life friends don't like Tolkien as much as I do. I have a busy schedule (university, work, real life friends even though I don't have a lot of them), so I don't have time to spend on the internet.
I do think internet friends can be just as valuable as real friends, because you can have long chats with them just as with real friends, and as long as you're not saying something very stupid they won't be hard on you (of course this depends on which forum you visit, but here on TTF the rules are quite strict). BTW I don't think it is always a bad thing if friends judge you; if they are genuine friends they will only want to help you by judging you. There is of course the danger that people on the internet are not what they say they are, but in real life people can also hurt you, so there's not much difference.
Internet friendship can develop into real life friendship or love, as with Wonks and Snaga, and I don't think that's a bad way to find friends; internet is just another way to friends.
So the internet is just another medium to develop bonds between people, which is a good thing.

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Melian

Whatever you say, guys, nothing can replace face-to-face communication and friendship. You can't kiss a computer, can you?

No...but that doesn't mean we haven't tried!!! ;)

And I agree with you Melian.
I think when I first got on the internet at age 12 I was depressed...and it was escapism. Things in my life went to holy hell when I was 12.
And when I found something to make me happy IRL I left the internet behind for a while.

I came back after leaving the dream school which turned out to be more of a nightmare than a dream after all...

I've turned to such things for escapism, but it doesn't always end that way.
I was and am so lucky to have found Snaga. He is a truly amazing person and he just blows me away continually with how wonderful and amazing he is.
And that's not just because I love him.
He is a good person. A caring, thoughtful, and all around just tremendous man.
I never would have met him if I hadn't had that awful episode that made me join TTF.
I would be so empty...I never would have found that piece of me...that one thing that makes me comlpetely whole.
I'd have gone through life empty...

I'm just so grateful...I can't believe I'm this lucky.

[Snaga]

* goes bright red *

I'd really like to see your article too. Can you post it up, Lhunithiliel?

[Lhunithiliel]

Wonko, Snaga and All of you who have been so kind as to post here, they have taken the article. It's a matter of a few days that they will publish it.
I'll scan it right away and show it here. Then 'll do tha translation.
Just a couple of days more :)

[Wonko The Sane]

*kisses Snaga's burning cheeks*

Sorry, baby. I won't embarrass you anymore.

[Lhunithiliel]

The article is out!
Unfortunately, I don’t have a scanner at home, so I could not scan it today, but I will tomorrow and I’ll show it here.

This however gives me the opportunity to make a ….kind of an apologizing foreword…sort of…

When I sent my writing to the newspaper, the editors said they enjoyed every word of it BUT it was too large. They said they were going to cut something. Then I told them “OK, but don’t touch anything from the “romance”-story!” They promised.
Now, even though the article covers a whole page, I see that they have cut quite a considerable part of it. But they really kept the “love – story”!

Here I’d like to say that Wonko’s second “hour of revelation” came posted after I had already taken the article to the newspaper. So, sorry, Wonko, but that post which made Snaga blush and which needed your kiss to comfort him is not here.
Besides, I thought it would have been impolite to you both if I used your names. So, as you will read from the translation, you are presented as “SHE” and ‘HE”.

As for the opinions of the others, I had translated ALL of them and even edited a bit the longer posts. I wanted ALL your opinions to show up in the article. Unfortunately, because of space, they have randomly picked up only the opinions of Nenya, Talierin, Celebrian, Aerin and Anamatar and that of a girl from another forum in Bulgaria, whom you don’t know.
I AM SO SORRY! Please, understand that it was not my fault!
Anyway, I personally am EXTREMELY THANKFUL TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE POSTED!

So, tomorrow, you’ll have the article scanned and translated.

To Wonko and Snaga – please accept this article as my modest engagement present to you both plus all my sincere wishes for everlasting happiness and love!

I have spoken! ;) :D

[Wonko The Sane]

That is sooo cool!
I can't wait to read it!
Thank you so much, Lhunithiliel!
*hugs*
That's so sweet!

[Lhunithiliel]

Here comes the translation:
IT’S LONG, I warn you! ;)

Note: The titles are put by the editors.

**********
“POZVANETE NOVINI” (this is the name of the newspaper and it is translated as: “CALL” – “THE NEWS”); January, 4th 2003

THE GLOBAL VILLAGE

MEETINGS IN THE VIRTUAL SPACE

“To check my mail” has become a usual expression as most usual has become the communication in the virtual space of Internet. To have a chat with friends, to look for the needed information. This – yes. But to make new friends, to exchange opinions on subjects of mutual interest … This one – too! More and more often we do it in the virtual space of chat-rooms and forums, in the comfort of being on our own in front of the monitor.

Have we closed ourselves for direct socializing with the people from the “real world”? What does the net attract us so much with and why do we prefer the virtual socializing to the “face-to-face” contacts?
Do we prefer it at all?!
A lot of people are skeptical concerning the statement that one can meet a “soul – mate” out there on the net. However, it is an indisputable truth that the net has grown to a common world-forum where not faces but minds meet.

IN THE CHAT-ROOM

YOU MAY TALK FOR HOURS BUT YOU MIGHT JUST AS WELL HAVE A FIGHT THERE

The word is a compound one and it comes from the English language. “chat” – meaning talking about something non-essential; and “room”, meaning (here comes the Bulgarian translation of this English word). So, it turns out that ….what?….Some people meet in a room and chat about some “insignificant” things. Insignificant?? It may look like that but only at first glance, because the chat-rooms and the forums are always most active and attended by dozens of people. I can hardly then imagine that an “insignificant” subject could maintain such a vivid interest!

There are chat-rooms and forums for people of all ages, all kinds of interests, for all kinds of people. What do they talk about? Is it just chatting? Sometimes it is so, but sometimes one can hardly succeed in answering all the opinions coming on the display when a subject of common interest is being discussed. And if you like somebody very much, why not inviting her/him for a more “personal” conversation?! Even meet her/him in person! Besides, people in those chat-rooms and forums come from all parts of the world! These are people with various characters. To some of them you could talk for hours, with some, you could just as well have a fight, yet with others – have a most serious discussion.

I asked a few questions in two forums: ‘What keeps you here? What or who are you looking for? Do you think you like virtual socializing better than the direct contacts in the “real” world and if so, why? Do you think you could meet somebody “special” on the net?
The answers varied from “Are you serious?!” to deep and more profound analyses.

Here come the opinions of Nenya, Talierin, Celebrian, Aerin, Anamatar and on girl from a Bulgarian forum.

TO SOCIALIZE FREELY – THIS OPPORTUNITY ATRACTS

It could be a disputable question of what the chat-rooms and the forums are for the person of our days. Is it a place where you can be yourself, or just another modern convenient means of communication in line with the “conventional” ones such as the phone, the mail… ?
Whatever you say, but to socialize in the virtual space of the Internet has become a usual element in the everyday life of the modern person. And however this phenomena is being explained, there in the bottom always lies the irresistible and everlasting human desire for intimacy and revealing without the “mask” one has to wear in the “real” world and with no fear or the feeling of embarrassment at the thought “How do people accept me?”, without the necessity to obey and follow the false and very often quite unnecessary rules of social interacting and behaviour that we have accepted as norms in our “real”-world relations.
So, there is nothing “unusual” in the fact that virtual socializing has won millions of “fans” all over the world! The opportunity to socialize freely – it seems this is all about! And it seems that this opportunity has become a rare “commodity” in the “real” life if it is being so much searched for!

WIDELY OPEN
For dozens of reasons the real world imposes dozens of rules and norms that impede people from open and franc socializing. Our conversations are most often about some everyday-life worries or about certain trivial plans or family matters… At work we talk about holidays, on holiday we talk about work… We comment TV-shows or soap-operas… “Have you heard? They are selling great shoes in…!” “The ….’s have gone to Spain on holiday, you know!” “Have you heard? H. is dating V.!”… (at least here it is so)

Is THIS socializing? Perhaps….to some extent. Does it satisfy us? It depends. Depends on how close to the others we would like to be or on how close we would let the others come to us. Then….. is it REAL socializing?!

LOVE ON THE INTERNET

COMMON!!!! THIS CAN ONLY BE IN THE MOVIES!!!!!

Have you seen the romantic Hollywood production “You have mail”? “Nice fairy tale!” – many would say and perhaps they could be right.
Friendship and love - it has become so difficult to find and keep them in our lives! Therefore, to find the “love of your life” on the Internet? Please!!!! Let’s be realistic!!!
I, however would like to tell you about a true and modern love story of two people living a whole ocean apart from each other. They met in a forum on the net and a couple of weeks ago they announced their engagement!

SHE is from USA; HE – from GB. It all started as a joke (they both have a perfect sense of humour!).

SHE:
“I was 12 years old….” (well, you can read this post of Wonko here, although I had edited it a bit, just to be a bit shorter)



HE:
“I used to enter the net just when I needed to look for some information….” (the same)

SHE:
After I had discovered this forum and let myself exchange PM-s I realized that… (Wonko’s post)…
I don’t know how it happened! I’m sure we both don’t and perhaps we never will. We just started talking to each other and we were becoming closer and closer. Then came the day when we decided to talk on the phone.

HE:
“The day we decided to talk on the phone for the first time was the moment of truth. I was talking to a real person….. (Snaga’s post)

SHE:
“ I don’t know… It all happened so fast! We just matched! We decided to talk on the phone…. We talked on the phone … I WAS IN LOVE! WE BOTH WERE IN LOVE! And here us now – ENGAGED!

It’s hard to believe! And yet it is a true story!

And it would not perhaps seem so unbelievable! Because it only takes to open your mind, to free yourself from the accumulated prejudices and DARE socialize no matter what environment you are in – real or virtual.
*******
There! you have it!
I hope you liked it. And you are free to comment on it, if you'd like!
:rolleyes:

Yours,
Lhun :)

[Lhunithiliel]

1/2 of the article scanned

[Lhunithiliel]

second half of the article scanned

[Finduilas]

Hehehe...
Lhun great job!!!
We are all so proud of you!!!:)

[Lossengondiel]

Well, I don't know how great what i have to say is, but if you find it good enough go ahead and use it!

...I am particularly fond of forums like this one because I get to meet new people who have the same, or different, interests as me. I can meet people from around the world that I would never have met otherwise. Talking to these people, even about everyday life, is great because they can give advice or support without the risk of your embarassment...

and thats about all i have to say...hope i helped!

[Wonko The Sane]

I liked the way the article turned out!
Great job Lhun...
Only ONE small detail I'd like to point out:

SHE is from USA; HE – from GB. It all started as a joke (they both have a perfect sense of humour!).

It was NEVER a joke!

Snaga "kissed" me the first time we spoke on MSN! ;) We just hit it off.
And now we're in love. :)

[Lhunithiliel]

Wonko, I am sorry!
I didn't mean "joke" in some negative meaning....
It comes from the translation... you see.....There is a word in my language, that no matter what dictionary I consulted, always gave me the English word "joke"...... but I expected some reaction PRECISELY on this word and I spent quite some time to think of another way of translating it into English so that it would sound right. I mean, that the Bulgarian word used bears the meaning of "something said with good intention and based on a very good sense of humour". Is there an English word for such a thing?

******
I'm glad you liked the article (well, I only hope your comments are honest ;) )

I'd be glad to see all kinds of comments! ;) :)

[Wonko The Sane]

I guess I see what you mean. :)
Hmm..perhaps...not joke but...hmmm...

Well I don't know how to describe it...
But it was never really a joke.
I mean...before we even talked on the phone we were completely taken with eachother.
He was all I thought about.
He even talked about coming to visit me...
And we just...well...it was never a joke. :)

[Lhunithiliel]

See? ;) :)

But please, believe me, the word used in the article has NO negative meaning whatsoever! It's just that I couldn't find another word than "joke" when translating the article into English. But you DO get my good intentions, don't you? :rolleyes:

Let me asure you, that it was your story that "inspired" me to write that article and not one single word was used in any negative meaning!

I am still amazed when thinking about you two!

Wish you all the happiness in the world!!!!!!

Lhun :)

[Gil-Galad]

Hey,Lhun I didn't know you were writing for newspapers but I think that is great!!!!Now I know a real journalist!
Where can I find the whole page?

[Lhunithiliel]

G-G, see the scans.
I'm glad you like it! And thank you for giving me this high title!
I am so sorry, your opinion did not enter!
EDITORS!!!!! :mad:

[Nenya Evenstar]

Thanks Lhun! That was a great article and I thouroughly enjoyed reading it. :) Great job!

[Eledhwen]

Originally posted by Lhunithiliel
I mean, that the Bulgarian word used bears the meaning of "something said with good intention and based on a very good sense of humour". Is there an English word for such a thing?
The verb would be 'banter', but I don't think I know of an associated noun; 'jest' is a bit too close to 'joke', so that won't do. It's a bit like what Theoden said about the exchange between Gimli and the Hobbits at the gates of Isengard.

I've missed this thread until now. This is the only forum I subscribe to (apart from Tolkien Debates, which I've not put much into). I love to discuss Tolkien, but in the 'real world' people get quickly bored. I also love to write and express myself in the ways this board allows, and over time I have come to care about the people who I interract with here - they seem to think the same way I do (well, some of them anyway!)

[Niniel]

It was a great article ! Thanks Lhun!

[Finduilas]

I mean, that the Bulgarian word used bears the meaning of "something said with good intention and based on a very good sense of humour". Is there an English word for such a thing?

Lhun, tell me the word in Bulgarian and I'll try to help.:)

[Lhunithiliel]

***Lhun - blushing...
"Please! All I have done is to tell people that human desire for being yourself as well as true love do not know borders! :)"
However, I'm glad you liked the story :)****

Findi, the Bulgarian is "na shega", which definitely does not corresponds much to the English word "joke", I know....
I can feel it in the air...
I can feel it int waters....
I can feel it in the earth....
;) ;)
I can feel it well in my head....
Perhaps I should have changed the construction of the sentence and through grammar achieve the right stylistics...

[Wonko The Sane]

Originally posted by Lhunithiliel
See? ;) :)

But please, believe me, the word used in the article has NO negative meaning whatsoever! It's just that I couldn't find another word than "joke" when translating the article into English. But you DO get my good intentions, don't you? :rolleyes:

Let me asure you, that it was your story that "inspired" me to write that article and not one single word was used in any negative meaning!

I am still amazed when thinking about you two!

Wish you all the happiness in the world!!!!!!

Lhun :)

Thank you, Lhun! :) *hugs* The article is a wonderful "gift." :) It's really cool that we inspired you to write it!!!

[Lhunithiliel]

***Lhun gives back the hug!*** :D
You're most welcome! :D

[Finduilas]

the Bulgarian is "na shega"

Gospodii!:p
Anyway, I'll try to think(and ask my teacher probably) of something;)

[Jaime]

I would have to agree with those who said, " i have friends outside this forum" because I do too. My friends just feel I'm a geek who likes to live in a fantasy land. I don't let what the say bother me. I've even gotten some of them to start reading the books!!

Jaime