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Evil Voodoo Peanuts and YOU

Ciryaher

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Yes, it is true that you have also been afflicted with the accursed evil voodoo peanuts whirring about your head. They send subliminal messages from the Great Peanut (often seen wearing a monocle, a top hat, and holding a cane) into your brain and try and make you drink cheap beer.

But do not despair! There is a simple remedy for this accursed pestilence! All that is required is a single eggplant! Simply take your eggplant and move it around in the outline of Texas, and keep the purple vegetable with you at all times. Yes! You CAN be rid of flying Evil Voodoo Peanuts!
 

Ragnarok

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And I thought I was the only one!

I will try your eggplant theory. Now let us celebrate our salvation with the adding of chocolate to milk.
 

Talierin

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**WARNING**

DO NOT make eggplant lotion ever! It turns your skin purple!

I have done the eggplant thing, and it works! No voodoo peanuts for me!
 

Dengen-Goroth

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I to know the power, potential, and success of this magical cure! I like many of you now have been a target of the great peanut, and used this for just three days. the dark peanut lord soon left. If you aren't satisfied with this product in two days we'll refud your money back!
 

Eonwe

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help me! I woke up today with a peanut in my pants! I think its evil (it makes me do bad things!)

What do I do? Stick pins in it?
 

Talierin

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AGGGGGGH!!!!! I forgot my eggplant today and the Great Peanut tried to get me to drink bad beer!!! Luckily there was half an eggplant in the fridge at church....
 

Ciryaher

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Evil Voodoo Peanuts not reason enough to use eggplant? Well, eggplant has many other uses, my friends!

Outline Azerbaijan and your eggplant will ward off Underpants Gnomes.

Outline the Pope's nose and all Pink Sand Leeches will bother you no more!

Outline Spencer County, Indiana and you will be assured of a restful night without fear of the Sandman's demented 2nd cousin, the Salt Man!

Many more uses of eggplant to come!
 

EverEve

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thank u for enlightening me, o great one. i will never drink cheap beer again! that eggplant thing really worked
 

Bombur

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But what to do about the dancing potato? He has been terrorizing my dreams of late. I fear he is in cahoots with the peanut but he makes me consume large quantities of cheap Irish whiskey instead. I have tried the eggplant therapy, bu it doesn't work. Help me!
 

Morwen

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Cir, what do I do about multiple personalities? Yessss precioussss, whatsss? (flash) Tell me fool, or I shall cut off your head and claim Monte Cristo and Mercedes for myself. (flash) Oh noble Brutus, tell me what must be done. (flash) *burp* Muahahahahaha *burp* (flash) Whew!
 

Talierin

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To fend off the Great Dancing Potato, you must find Trumpy the trumped-nosed alien. He will eat the Great Dancing Potato for you.


some one has had too much english lit today......:rolleyes:
 

Nimawae's hope

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Dang! Would someone give Morwen a remedy already! She's totally weird!!!!And its freaking me out.

Anyway here is a couple more uses for eggplant: To ward off Mr Nobody (you know the guy that screws up your life by breaking dishes, messing up your cable, and making the Internet go slower than a seven year itch)wear a split eggplant on your head for seven days straight (yes, this makes bathing difficult, but, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do). Then Mr. Nobody will not come near you for at least six weeks!!!Take my word for it, it really works! :D
Also to ward off the crazy, murderous rabbit from The Holy Grail make an eggplant suit of armour. Rabbits hate the stuff, and it works way better than regular metal armour (at least it didn't seem to work very well for those knights!) Hope this will help someone make their life a little safer:rolleyes:
 

Tar-Steve

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Are all peanuts evil and voodoo? Is there any hope for me? When the peanuts come out, "verily I come to thee" is just about the only thought in my mind.


"time to go to work, get the underpants ....."
 

Talierin

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I believe, from much research, that all peanuts have the potential to be evil voodoo ones, but only the rotten ones become them.
 

Dengen-Goroth

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The age old quesion, which only the learned may now answer. Is it safe to eat peanut butter. I think when the peanuts are curshed, they just get more violent!
 

Ciryaher

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Ahh, peanut butter is sanctified by the application of sugary substances, such as honey or jam (particularly blackberry).

Cure for split personalities: Take a teaspoon of water from the Ohio River. Mix this into a cup of apple cider, and then add 15 cucumber seeds. Dip your finger in this mixture and write HELP! backwards on your forehead. Then drink the remaining mixture to flush out the unruly personalities.
 

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