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Love and Relationships in your 'Tweens'

Elbereth

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Growing up I used to be very idealistic about love and relationships. I always had that fairy tale image of me being swept off my feet by a beautiful knight in shining armor. And I always believed that if a guy really liked me...he would want to be my boyfriend and we'd have a beautiful relationship and live happily ever after.

But the fact is...not every relationship, works out that way...especially in your tweens.

And by the time you reach my age, you begin to realize that the love of fairy tales & movies...rarely ever happens in real life. Relationships are complicated, confusing, and frustrating. And even the most perfect mate is not necessarily as perfect as you make them out to be.

So how do we Tweens cope with the struggles of singledom in our generation? Let's hear your stories of struggles and successes.

And who knows....Perhaps by hearing how others fare...we could learn to be better mates in our own relationships.
 

Niniel

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Maybe you'll not believe this, but I have never had a boyfriend in my life. On the one hand this makes me feel very lonely sometimes, but on the other hand I do have a lot of friends and I refuse to get desperate. I'm sure that some day I will find someone to share my life with. Not a romantic 'knight in shining armour' but just someone to be my soulmate or something. But no luck so far :(
 

Kat

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So true...Hollywood movies have let us all down, and made both men and women believe in the impossible dream of perfect relationships where two people destined to be together find each other and overcome insurmountable odds to have a perfect, lifelong relationship.Blah Blah Blah...

Never fear Niniel, relationships are never what they seem. I have had relationship woes with my significant male in a drawn-out seven year saga. In that time we have broken up and got back together eight times, drawn other, unsuspecting potential partners into the mix and generally stuffed things up. Im coming around to the idea that maybe he isn't the ONE. And yes, it has taken me a long time to start thinking this.

Every six months or so I declare that im over male crap, that all males are bastards and that I should seriously consider lesbianism as a means of avoiding this. But I can't resist them though...men! Hmph! Who needs them?? (we do:D)
 

DGoeij

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Hey, easy on the man-people. Even Tweens can be male, like this one.:D

No really, I'm with the same girl for 2 1/2 years now and still seriously in love. I know about the chemical theories, but I simply feel great when I'm with her, and a lot less great without her. I don't know much about relationships, she's my second (serious) girlfriend, but it works out great between us.
My view is, there are some basic rules, so easy to think of, but a little too easy to break too.
1. Forget Hollywood.
2.Treat her like you wish to be treated, but nicer. (If you're more into guys, fill in 'him')

If I'm really honest, I think it comes down to that. I'm no expert, but I did some forensics on several broken hearts, including my own. Amazing how difficult people can make life for eachother, especially when they have strong feelings for eachother. I even scare myself with my own thoughts, during our occasional fights. So I don't say it out loud, and in the end the 'making up' is really great.:)
 

Kat

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You sound really sweet. Maybe you could teach some Aussie guys a thing or two!!
I definately agree with the making up part! I suppose the hardest thing about relationships in this generation is the extremely high rate of divorce, it seems people are always taking the easy option, rather than the strength to solve problems in their relationships. Or alternatively, they marry too early.
Here is a strange story for you of a marriage between two tweens that I know. They married at 19, have been married for two years. Have decided to split, buy a new house together, stay married on paper and move in their boy/girlfriends. What a happy home! This is in case they decide later down the track they REALLY do want to be together!
 

DGoeij

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They what??????
And I thought soap-series on TV were based on wacky guys writing up redicilous stories.
I can't even imagine someone coming up with the idea, and others thinking it a great plan. Try and live with eachother without deciding to get married at first is maybe a better idea. Sometimes I think people take more consideration in buying a car than over getting married.
 

Narya

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The first time I had a boyfriend was in 5th grade. It was nothing serious really, but I received a lot of attention for it, which I enjoyed until the boyfriend became the jealous devil who started to hold me by the neck :( then I really hated the entire boyfriend/girlfriend thingy.

The next time I tried having a relationship was already in college, and I didn't enjoy it either, because he was such a fan of Bruce Lee that at times he would even try to teach me Jeet-Kun-Do which was not only annoying but painful.

After that, the next relationships I had were complete disasters, until the last one which was online with a 23 year old boy from Australia. (Elbs, I know what you're gonna say, but no that wasn't even a relationship) The last one lasted about 1 year and then it soured because we were too far apart. But we're still friends.

Now, I think I'm beginning to be skeptical about the concept of love and relationships. What do you think Elbs, am I a hopeless case or what? And where's that guy you promised me??
 

Walter

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Not sure if I'm allowed at all to throw in my two (€-)cents here, for I'm no longer a twen, so just let me know if I should delete my post.

What I have to say is that I'm still very idealistic about love and relationship.

When I was 17 I met this wonderful girl (she was 15) at the dancing school and somehow we fell in love with each other. A few months later our relationship split, but after a few more months we were together again. We both had realized we couldn't be without each other. When I was 25 we married and today (with 44) we're more in love than ever before. She's no longer a girl (but still my girl), but a woman, we both are getting the first wrinkles or a grey hair here or there. She was a pretty girl and today she's a beatiful woman (at least in my eyes).

Sure, we had to work on our relationship, the basic pillars of it are love, mutual respect, trust and honesty and I'm really looking forward to spending the rest of my life with this wonderful woman. Looking back I think that - mostly in our early years - there were some situations were it would have been easier to split, but we both were willing to fight for our relationship rather than against it.

Sounds like a clichee, but it is the truth: We just were destined for each other
 
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menchu

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*Sniff, sniff* --> See what you did, Walter! :D
 

Narya

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and Handsome, you look like Chris O'Donell, and you're wife is also such a beauty!!! YOu both make a wonderful pair!

It is always nice to hear successful love storie, gives you a sense of hope that maybe someday you too will have one to tell to people. Right now, all I have are sob stories.
 

Gamil Zirak

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Sorry Walter. I just can't let this one go. I know it was the 80's and all, but what is up with all of that hair? It is nice to see that you've gotten it cut since then.
 

DGoeij

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LOL, just add a beard and you would have looked like my dad at my parent's wedding foto's. And that was just 5 years earlier.:D

What a sweet couple.:)
 

Walter

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LOL - thanks for the compliments Y'all ;)

Gamil, I've had this "haircut" - or lack thereof - from my mid-teens until 1985 (with a few interruptions, like when I "prostituted" myself by selling my hair for a turntable). However, I felt I had to give it up when I left university and was applying for my first "serious" job. ;)

Narya, don't give up hope, sooner or later the right one for you will come... :)
 

Legolam

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Well, I just split from my first serious boyfriend three weeks ago, and now I know what it feels like. I got so depressed for the first two week then, a week ago, I suddenly realised that I'm only 19. I love him, but the chances are he's not "the one" and I think I just have to move on. It's sort of good to hear everyone else goes through the same thing at some point.

PS I love the hair Walter! :D
 

menchu

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Cheer up! ¡Ánimo! ¡¡¡Arrrrrrribbbbbbaaaaaaaa!!!

If I were there, I would take you to a club and dance all night long.
If you were here, I would take you to a concert and dance all night long.
(Almost the same, but hey! It's the intention that counts)
In any case, a mega-cyber-cuddle and loads 'f kisses!! :p :cool:
 

Legolam

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Thanks Menchu! It means a lot! I've lost a lot of friends (like his flatmates and stuff) during this, but I'm off to a party tonight and I'm definitely going to have fun!! I did do something a bit stupid with my best friend because of all this though, so I think I'll have to sort myself out before I decide anything.
 

menchu

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That's what friends are for... (Oops! Quoted Britney! :eek: ) I'm sure she/he will understand because she/he is your friend. Meanwhile, enjoy yourself at the party (go to as many as possible) and 'disconnect' when the strongest part of the storm comes. ;)

I just wonder why this has happened so much this summer...
 

Legolam

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Umm, I really don't think friends are for this, but never mind! My life sucks a bit right now. Grrr, why do boys manage to do this to us!!?!?!?
 

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