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PC version of Lord of the Rings

Orin

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I know not from whence most hail, but I've been toying briefly (the last three or so, no now four, minutes) with the idea of a PC version of LOTR. Here in America, we try not to offend and be all inclusive. I'm suprised that the movie will be allowed here. Why, with it's male-dominated cast of charachters and insensitivity to other races, I'm puzzled by the lack of outcry to the Movie and the Books on these factors.
Therefore I think we need to retool things a bit, change some terminology and charachters, and try and make no one offended.
For example, Bilbo's "poorer relations" should be "family with environmental challenges to overcome". Dwarves will have to become "vertcally challenged". Elves will become "those lacking in mortality" so as not to offend those of us who are mortal. The War of the Ring will have to be refered to as the "Incedent of the Ring"; after all, the ring was stolen from Sauron and to call it a War because of that is just too insensitive.
Some of the characters will have to become women, oops that has "men" in it. Wopersons then, ooops that still has "son" in it. Females then, nope has "males" in it. Maybe I'd better scrap this project.....
 
R

ReadWryt

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No, wait! I think you are onto something. Yeah, and the whole Scouring of the Shire sequence can be like an episode of "Captain Planet" where Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin all stick their rings together and summon Tom Bombadil to defeat the evil Industrialist Polluters...I can see it. We would sell MILLIONS in the Action Figure Market...
 

Aerin

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AAAAAAHHHHH!!! *runs around room screaming*
No one is allowed to mess with LOTR anymore than it has been already!!!!:mad: PJ has screwed with it enough, and no more is allowed!
I will get on my soapbox now! In Tolkien's LOTR, a woman in the Fellowship would have had a h*ll of a hard time reaching Minas Tirith, much less Mordor! Yes, there are some who could make the journey, but most couldn't! I hate discrimination, but this is not a case of discirmination, it is a case of common sense! The characters who were chosen for the Fellowship were chosen for a reason. They were the toughest, smartest, and most resourceful. That's why they were chosen, not because they were handsome!!! GRR!!! Why can't people, and especially Hollywood, get that through their bloody thick skulls?!? I do not want to continue ranting, but I think it is absolutely ridiculous the way people only want the pretty faces portrayed as the rough, tough characters.
Whew, I'm done for now! ;)
 

Tulidian

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*Starts singing* "Captain Planet, He's a hero, gonna take pollution down to..." Ooops, what im not supposed to sing? :p. It would be that Ted Sandyman who would pollut the shire. He's a bad egg :).

Hehe sorry couldn't resist.
 

DGoeij

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Eh Orin, you should read the Discworld novels of Terry Pratchett. Those concerning the City Watch in particular. The city about wich it matters contains Dwarfs, Trolls and Humans and several other fantasy-life forms. As a civilized town it has a Committy of Equal Heights, wich constantly is nagging about the way Dwarfs are being put as second rank citizens. Not that a single Dwarf ever bothers about that, the committy is entirly made up of humans.;)
I am afraid it is already impossible to make a game without offending anybody. When the gardeners find out Sam is a servant of Frodo, you'll have to rewrite the script again.
 

Orin

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Thanks for the reccommendation

Thanks. I'll add it to the list of things I need to read. (If I can find the end of the list, that is.)
 

Centin

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Black hobbits

They better put some black hobbits in TTT, come on folks! Gary Coleman needs work!
 

curious_nomad

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Ouch! SO in the movie, Saruman would say that.

"You do know where cosmetically challenged people came from correct? They were once those who lack mortality but were enhanced with the ways of non-conformists and now perfected. My uruk-hai." Ha!

Gollum would be a toughy though.
"Cosmetically challenged diminutive creature with a frog-like stride?"

Perhaps....

lol.
 

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