🧙 The Tolkien Forum 🧝

Welcome to our forum! Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox! Plus you won't see ads ;)

The British Army Barracks Tea-Room

Snaga

The Usual Suspect
Joined
Feb 11, 2002
Messages
2,261
Reaction score
5
* Snaga flings wide the door, and puts up a sign *

Tally-ho!

Been too long in the trenches? Got a touch of shell-shock? Come in and rest yourself in the jolly old British Army Tea-room. Just make sure you've shined your boots before you come in! Look at yourself... you're a disgrace!!!!

Help yourself to a cuppa ... If you want anything stronger, you've got to ask Wonks who can get anything you like for a couple of ration coupons. A nods as good as a wink to a blind man. I'll say no more.

* Points to the black and white photo on the wall * Look! Our patron... the former resident cryptographer himself. JRRT of course.

So who wants to discuss Britishness, become British, or just generally soak up some British 'culture' (or even accents)?
 

Wonko The Sane

Aredhel Ar-Feiniel
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,351
Reaction score
1
Location
The Dark Tower, 'neath the growing threat in the E
*glides in gracefully on bare feet, her gorgeous Elfin body sillouhetted against the doorway as the moonlight illuminates her white dress she slides in and takes her place behind the bar.*

Welcome everybody!! :) *she turns to Snaga* Can we soak up other British things besides the accents and the culture? ;) Like um...the ale? Or the biscuits? ;) :D
 

TheFool

Registered User
Joined
Dec 26, 2001
Messages
214
Reaction score
2
Location
UK
*like the stumble-drunk he is, Fool staggers through door and plants himself in a comfy, if battered, armchair*

I feel honoured *hic* to pour from the British Army teapot, I hope you brought enough for everybody, snaga! *Double take at barmaid*
Feel free to consult me on any pseudo-geordie matters.

stormy weather, what? :D ;)
 

TheFool

Registered User
Joined
Dec 26, 2001
Messages
214
Reaction score
2
Location
UK
the tea here is better than me mum's! :) 'mum' or 'mam', I'm still undecided on that one...

Anyway, how about some toast!
 

Wonko The Sane

Aredhel Ar-Feiniel
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,351
Reaction score
1
Location
The Dark Tower, 'neath the growing threat in the E
*wishing she were on the Planet Coruscant forums so she could get a wait-droid to do her bidding she sends an order for toast back to the kitchens and summons a furry little hobbit out from under the counter to deliver The Fool his toast. The hobbit hoists a tray above his head, and so burdened carries a plate of toast to The Fool's table. The tray is laden with pots upon pots of different jams, jellies and marmalades, including three different kinds of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and lox.*
 

FREEDOM!

100% God Blessed American
Joined
Aug 24, 2002
Messages
369
Reaction score
0
Location
Inside the Dryer
*Walks in, leaving parachute right outside the front door, after ejecting out of his plane*

Poor me anything that 'll take away the ringing in my ears, and bring me some of those biscuits please. *looks around as the ringing in his ears keeps getting louder, trying to figure out where the ringing is coming from, realizes it's from the warning system that WAS in his plane before the missle hit it* Make it a double.
 

Wonko The Sane

Aredhel Ar-Feiniel
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,351
Reaction score
1
Location
The Dark Tower, 'neath the growing threat in the E
*Pours STrider(Aragorn a double Chivas on the rocks and hopes he can handle it. She then opens a tin of biscuits that she baked yesterday and artistically lays them out on a flower bordered china plate. As STrider(Aragorn sits down at the bar she puts the biscuits and the drink in front of him*
 

TheFool

Registered User
Joined
Dec 26, 2001
Messages
214
Reaction score
2
Location
UK
ahh, toast and tea.

*Feels down back of his chair for the tv remote, points at tv on wall and switches on 'Neighbours'*

hehehe this is the life. Only hope Harold isn't in this episode.

Hey STrider, ever seen this before? It'll calm your nerves! ;)
 

TheFool

Registered User
Joined
Dec 26, 2001
Messages
214
Reaction score
2
Location
UK
bathroom? It's one of the back rooms; make sure you get the right one though ;)

*Pours himself another cup of tea, pyramid bags, excellent! Makes large lemon curd 'n' toast sandwich. Spots jar of Marmite lurking in amongst the jam selection and quickly disposes of it. Settles blissfully in chair*
 

Snaga

The Usual Suspect
Joined
Feb 11, 2002
Messages
2,261
Reaction score
5
*Returns from the back, 2 hours later, after an arduous conversation with the delectable Wonks *

* Ringing sound. Pulls out HUGE mobile phone. * Hello? Yeah its me! What? I can't hear you! The kettle's really loud here! Yeah, I'm in the tea-room! No... its rubbish. Not enough customers! If you see the rest of the British Army tell 'em to get in here!
 

legoman

Humourous Bombadillian #2
Joined
Jan 18, 2002
Messages
419
Reaction score
1
Location
Leicester, Capital of Leicestershire
*Walks in the door, holding a suitably equally large mobile phone*
'Yeah, I'll do that mate, see you in a second'
*looks over to snaga*
'alright mate, this is a nice tea room, got any dunkling biscuits??'
 

Wolfshead

Formerly CraigSmith
Joined
May 27, 2002
Messages
1,410
Reaction score
5
Location
Scotland
*Swaggers in*

I'll have a pint of bitter and a Rich Tea biscuit, if at all possible, mate
 

Wonko The Sane

Aredhel Ar-Feiniel
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,351
Reaction score
1
Location
The Dark Tower, 'neath the growing threat in the E
That was hardly arduous, dear. But I'll let it slide as I said it first. ;)

*tosses a green Heineken bottle at STrider(Aragorn as he leaves the tea room, she turns to her other patrons.*

Welcome to the British Army Barracks Tea-Room. Take off your boots and get in from the rain...although I don't know why you'd want to.

*rummages about under the counter and sets a plate of biscuits before Legoman*
There you are, mate! Want anything to drink with that?

*Swiftly turns away, her white skirts swirling about her ankles as she grabs a polished pint glass from the shelves behind the bar and then turns to the taps to fill Craig's order. When the glass is full she plunks it on the polished counter top and then rummages about under the counter again for another tin of biscuits. Finally finding them she pulls 13 from the tin and arranges them on a cracked plate with a picture of Peter Rabbit on it before setting them before Craig*

I love Trigger Happy TV, guys! That's sooo funny! *giggles* I can TOTALLY imagine you saying that, Snags!
 

legoman

Humourous Bombadillian #2
Joined
Jan 18, 2002
Messages
419
Reaction score
1
Location
Leicester, Capital of Leicestershire
Peter Rabbits great, though I think you could get banned for having a skirt round your ankles, that could be a bit daft. most people wear them a little higher.

I'll have a ribena please, in a plastic cup with a picture of Thomas the tank engine on the side... cheers wonko.
 

Thread suggestions

Top