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Melian

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From Thought, Through Love, Till Reality


A perfunctiory study of the "Silmarillion" might suggest that there is an immense gap between the initial intentions, when the world was created with much love, and the upcoming results. I don't share this opinion. It seems to me that Thought, Love and Reality were basically the same thing, or the essense of the World Creator. There is no contradiction between the original idea and what happened later; there's no even need to oppose Eru's Love to the 'cruel' Reality.

All the events in Tolkien's epics happen because they are meant to be by a transcendental supernatural force. The "Silmarillion" reveals a profound monistic philosophy--i.e. a belief that everything--good and bad--derives from one source of origin,one creator. From Eru, the infinite intellect, comes all.

Concerning Eru's Thought, it is rather far-fetched to see only ideas of a peaceful existence and regard Melkor's twist as a surprising rebellion. You cannot possibly say that Eru, mighty enough to contrive the earth, was blind to let this Ainur walk around and do his misdeeds. Evil had been rooted in Eru. It did not spoil any plans, for it was part of them.
Malice did not come from outside, Melkor was just not that great enough to think up Evil by himself. Eru needed a Dark Lord or a Dark Lady for his purpose. Evil is the force that makes good things go. Someone had to play 'the fallen angel' and a talented Vala was up to it. Melkor was simply the necessary embodiment of that force. Don't overestimate his personal qualities--he was no different than Varda. Do you think she couldn't be corrupted? I don't.
Eru wanted to weave into the world dark and light, bad and good. He did so, even into the characters of all his Children (Vala,Maia,Men,Elves...). There was a lurking villain even in the fairest Elf; and that was the smartest point of his Thought. For evil is a vital thing. If there was only Good or only Evil, who could make any difference? What's the point in definitions at all? Eru wanted his children to tell the two sides apart, appreciate one of them and struggle with the other. There's no better way to teach them that tjhan giving them a piece of malice.

Was it only Love that He bestowed on his children? I daresay not. In order to keep them fit for improvement, he made them imperfect. There was pride and envy as well. Everyone was prone to temptation and that was a process triggered and expected. someone would deviate from the conventional 'good' thus contributing to the perfection of the rest.

Regarding Reality, I'd rather call it ' just' than 'cruel'. Did you think that the Good Lord only wanted his children to 'live happily ever after'? But that would have lessened the value of life itself! Just fancy--everyone flawless: no sufferings, but no appreciation of the fact as well. Without a threat to it, beauty cannot be treasured. Eru didn't want his people to live idly in bliss: his creation would have withered in nothingness. life would have been futile.
Reality was what he expected it to be. You may say the Curse of Mandos contradicts this idea. But mind you, that was Vala point of view. You can interpret it in 2 different ways: 1)that was the awe-inspiring way to say 'that's life'; or 2) you might assume (too naively, meseems), that the Vala seemed to believe in the utopia of eternal joy.
Someone had to cross the line and determine the 'downfall'. But it was nobody's fault in specific. If it hadn't been Feanor, it could have been a converted Vala.

The infinite supernatural power of Eru was beyond anybody's reach. A life of suffering actually turned out a benefit for his children--otherwise there wouldn't have been heroes, sacrifice for love,Beren and Luthien...Just how many great things were caused by Evil! There was a subtle balance--Eru would never have let any of the sides--good or evil--dominate over the other. Else it would diminish.
 
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gate7ole

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From thought, through love till reality.
“There was Eru, the One; and he made first the Ainur”. This was the beginning, the starting point. The timeless moment in the Void that the Creator decided to create life. The plan was executed and left to ripe among the Children. But something went wrong. Instead of love and joy came hatred and sorrow. The Children started to fight each other to such a point that the original plan was altered. But is that so? Was Eru’s plan changed?
“And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.”
The plan is always the same, but it is alive. The touches added by the Creations cause the plan to evolve into the next step of the long road to conclusion and add their personal mark. Ilúvatar never intended to provide a world with a predetermined future, where nothing goes wrong and the inhabitants have no initiative for good or evil.
On the above grounds, how can we consider that the behaviour of the Valar was erroneous, when they were driven by Love? Or how can we blame the Elves for wanting to be free to rule their realms? The details of their actions are not in question, since their motives were moral. The plan was changed but it neither deteriorated nor improved. It was transformed according to the desires of the Children.
The middle part of the title, Love, and its result, the Exile shows this fluidity of the plan. Having high motives is not always the path to make one’s way ahead. At least at this case it couldn’t avoid the sundering of the Elves, the kinslaying, the disastrous war with Morgoth. But this was not an error. It was a natural choice. Its result may seem catastrophic to the observer, but it is the plan itself.
Also reality is not the outcome of the wrong decisions. It is the natural course of the events, with its faults and goods. There is no divergence from the original plan, since there was no such thing as original plan (at least in Eru’s mind).
The conclusion of the above is obvious. Though, Love, Reality. This triplet that tries to show the different steps of the plan from its genesis to its result fails to illustrate the core of this transformation. Love, being the conjunction between the start and the end, implies that there was a kind of choice. There was never such an option. Reality is how it is, because the Creations have freely affected it.

-------------------------------
My essay may not deal exactly with the topic as presented, but I felt like saying these things and some of you said that it can be interpreted in many ways, so…
 

Finduilas

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From Thought, Through Love, Till Reality

The Moon was deliberately observing, wistful, entire, satisfied…

Morning it was. Dark it was.
The puff of Darkness brought an outfield poem, weaved of Emptiness’s thought and the hands of the visible. The bloody glow blew a new beginning, life of destinies and forethought.
Morning it was. Day it was.
Brightness’s buds ‘splinted upon facets of’ crystal water and burst into blossom among flood of greenery. Little dragon flies were born and transformed into fairy; and their spirits roamed and fed water and air with hope. Poppies and ardour leaves, liquid dreams and supernal grass revived in order to smell life.
Morning it was…and the birds came.
Trees clamoured, water overflowed; and we lived along Destiny’s improvident stream.
Noon it was. Dark it was.
Darkness brimmed, dominating over late shy morning and innocent noon. Darkness- beginning- mother and father of the Moon. However, magnificently it shone, burning the sorrowful ash and giving life to Beauty. And it smiled, laughed, loved( and was loved), praised, glorified, loathed…
Noon it was. Dusk it was.
Like a streak of lightening life rose; and near it walked Death and eternal and most beautiful it was. Beyond the transparent sky the Moon appeared, cloud- capped, veiled with clean smoke clouds. Noon- afternoon of progress, of spiritual development and… dead, faded beauty.
Sunset it was. Still bright it was.
The warm winter whithered and a black stream soughed .It banished perfection and severe, ugly it revived. Right and wrong, clean and dirty the Firstborn storm was sent by the Darkness- Darkness made of Brightness, Darkness of bliss, Darkness- lord of the morning, noon and dusk.
Evening it was. Brightening it was!
The last sunset passed and Night grasped the ground, water, air and time. It- unique our ruler, good and bad, ours and another’s. It- the one we see!
Midnight it was. Day it was!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A legend:

Moon= Eru
Morning= From Thought…
Noon= …Through Love…
Evening= …Till Reality
Evening= Day
 

Gil-Galad

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From Thoughts To Love Till Reality

Critics say J.R.R.Tolkien creates a world where everyone of us can go for a moment and forget reality.His is so real that it is often described as "a world parallel".Although Tolkien denies there is any alegory with our world I do think there are lots of similarities between ours and his.I think Tolkien's characters have same features asnormal people.One of the common things I find is in Valar characters and actions.They may not seem perfect in their decisions,but there is a saying that best decribes their actions and get them near to our world.What you wish does not always mean you have abilities to do it,least of all that you can achieve it.
Everything starts with the music of the Ainur.The first theme shows them:"things great and more wonderful than he had yet revealed;and the glory of its beginning and the splendour
of its end amazed the Ainur..."As we know everything described in the themes is beautiful,perfect and represents Ainur's wish to participate in the creation.In their thoughts everything is perfect,there is no evil,no harm,no sadness,but all that is only a good wish.The same is nowadays,most ideas are only good wishes.Scientists,politicians etc. think of new things that would have positive effect on society.In their thoughts everything is perfect and happenes as they want it to happen.But just like in Valar's case it is not sure
they can do it.
Having that in mind,I also would say quality of creation depends on abilities of those who have created it.The Valar definitely have enough power to make all they have seen in the themes.They create Arda Unmarred.Ainur become part of it and its fate,because they love it.During the whole process of hard labour they have learnt how to love.Piece by piece they make a
place that can be described only by one word-"perfection".Valar do not love Arda's perfection but everything that is made by their own hands,because they used their hearts and souls in
the creation.Just like them every person in real life loves what he has made by his own.That is so because he has done his best to make it as he first imagined.
Finally,when the process of thinking and creating is finished comes reality.Valar create a perfect world but perfection is not possible.There is everywhere a grain of evil.No matter whether you have thought to make or have made something great,reality will change it.When Valar face reality they realize that whatever they do it want be just like they want it to be.There is big difference between intention,abilities and reality.That is proved by the human history.For example the scientists that made possible the atom's division did that with good intentions,they managed to do thing no one had done before,but when they faced reality everything changed.Atom's division was used for military purposes.
In conclusion I would say Valar's actions proves that world is not such a good place and there are forces that always changes everybody's intention.No matter what everybody thinks,
no matter what he creates,no matter how strong he loves it,reality changes it.That is so because there is no perfection and life and fate play their own game with their own rules.
 

Eledhwen

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'From A Thought, Through The Love, Till The Reality'

I wasn't going to post an essay, but there are so few! Here goes.

John Ronald Reuel Tolkien , together with some schoolfriends, met in the Barrows Stores Tea Room to discuss their literary passions. The called themselves the Tea Club, Barrovian Society. During this time a thought, a vision even, arose among them; to realise a mythology for England. How different would that mythology have been if things had then gone differently than they did?

The friends were all enlisted in the British Army to fight in the worst battlefield of the First World War. From the trenches of the Somme, young Tolkien saw terrible carnage and desolation where once had been the beautiful, peaceful French countryside. A muddy, blasted wasteland he left when invalided back to England; to find that, apart from himself, only one of the TCBSs had survived the War. The thought that gave birth to Middle Earth would be darker now, stained by the blood of war.

Imagine the view from the train on his return to England. No longer the desecration of the Somme, but the rolling downs of England, still green and beautiful with cattle grazing and birds singing. Realising he loved this land, JRR Tolkien began to put pen to paper and craft the story of a world. And what a story! Its creation was marred by darkness and discord from its very inception. The Valar’s joy at the waking of the firstborn, the Elves, was soon marred as the whispered lies of Melkor sowed mistrust, causing the Elves to doubt the goodness of the Valar, misinterpreting their counsel and deeds. This culminated in great evil deeds at the hands of the Elves, deeds ever inspired by Melkor. Yet even so, whenever evil raised its monstrous head, even though it seemed unassailable, the good would find a way through and a remnant would survive.

Tolkien’s love for God and for his land shone against the darkness of the First World War as gold shines amidst a dark setting. But his love was not only for the rolling countryside of England. In his youth, and for the sake of his studies, he was forcibly kept apart from the girl he loved; yet the embers of his love were not quenched. He eventually met again and married the woman he loved, shortly before being enlisted in the British Army. This must have left JRRT with a deep conviction that, despite all barriers put in its way, true love will prevail. It was not for nothing that he had the names of Beren and Luthien inscribed on his and his wife’s tombs. Did the seeming injustice of Tolkien’s separation from Edith Bratt leave a mark on him that had to come out in his stories? Love and separation seem to have been covered from every angle: force, bewitchment, negligence, tempest, and even wandering off and getting lost! They are all there in the tales of Beleriand.

And then we have Sauron! Taught at the hands of the good and great, his pride and lust for greater power made him align himself to the Evil Melkor.

As if the the evils of the First World War – The War to End All Wars – was not enough, the allies sucked Germany dry for war reparations left its people bankrupt and humiliated. By 1933 a new ‘saviour’ began to gain ascendance, and Germany, enthused with new hope, began to build the machines of war while the rest of Europe slept (After all, had they not just had The War to End All Wars?). What fuel there was for the next great phase in Tolkien’s mythology: “The Lord of the Rings” in the dark schemes of that German Chancellor (I will not name him here!).

So, that’s all past now. Middle Earth was saved; our 20th century earth was saved, was it not? I often think about the Hobbits – If they had been real, they wouldn’t be by now. Soon, like Egypt after Joseph, a king would have come who remembered them not, and they would be trampled, dispersed and forgotten. Can we really say that that which was worth fighting for, and which was saved, still exists? What about what our fathers fought for in the 20th Century Wars? Evil, like weeds will, once sown, always be there. The lies of the Enemy still colour the world. Cruel reality never really shows its face; it whispers in our ears just as Melkor whispered into the ears of the firstborn. Do we trust the words of our leaders any more than the words of those our leaders tell us are our enemies? The creation stories of the Bible and of Middle Earth both begin with whispered lies: “Did God really say….?” And when the doubt is entertained it comes again, whispering the half lie first, so we are lulled to sleep. Then, with our minds lolling in their hammocks, we are all the more ready to swallow the full lie later on. And so it continues, and real peace eludes us. We will not learn to live in peace unless we learn (All of us!) whose whispers we can trust. But even Sauron seemed fair and reasonable at the first, did he not?
 

Gil-Galad

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PRIDE-HELPFUL OR RUINOUS

Human features have been described for hundreds of years by writers,philosophers,psychologists and many other people.One of the most discussed characteristic is pride.It has been described as negativeas well as positive thing.To perceive the real nature of pride we should take into consideration facts both from history and our lifes.Tolkien's works are abundant source as well .In a Jesuistical way I would say that it depends on how proud a person is.
First of all,pride can be a positive feature when is is result from
self-confidence.Bulgarian people were ruled over for 500 years by theturks and the Ottoman Empire.These 500 years were period of unbelievable terror,however,Bulgarians did not lose their national identity.In their minds they kept alive the recollection of their great country before the fall.The brave deeds of their former rulers,the fact that Bulgaria had been a centre of the Slav's culture inspired their fate in Christianity and their nationality.Bulgarians never accepted the Turkish yoke and fought for their independence until it became reality again.The facts above examplify how pride and self-esteem can be a driving force for people who seek development,happiness or anything else.
On the other hand ,pride has a completely different face.Haughtiness and selfishness which are forms of pride have proven to be riunous.Sometimes people are too proud to confess their mistakes.They say or do something wrong and often realize they are not right,but their pride,meshed with selfishness,does not allow them to confess their mistakes.Feanor is too selfish to accept others' point of view,therefore,he listens neither to Valar's words nor to anybody else's.As a consequence,innocent elves and he himself suffer greatly.
Furthermore,pride can provoke violent actions.Some people are too proud and haughty .They believe nothing can stop them and nobody is better than them.And when such people cannnot achieve their aims,that leads to violent actions.Feanor is too proud and haughty to accept the Teleri's refusal.Because of his
pride he cannot quit everything and that is why he makes the greatest sin in his life.That is a fine example how pride,meshed with haughtiness can cause violent actions and destruction.
In conclusion I think that pride coulde be described both,as negative and positive characteristic.It can be positive when it is because of self-confidence and negative when it is caused by selfishness and haughtiness.It can be a reason for surviving of a whole nation and a reason for suffer of innocent people.Finally,
I would say it just depends on how pride a person is.
 

Melian

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PRIDE--CONSTRUCTIVE OR RUINOUS?

As the saying goes, 'pride is a foolishman's burden'. But another saying heads in a different direction, moralizing that 'there are no great feats without pride'. Obviuosly, a fine-line separates two contrast aspects of pride.( And it is so with most human emotions: love becomes obsession and ambiton becomes recklessness...) Those fine-lines...they hide the secret of the human psyche. With pride, especially, this problem is very itchy. To me pride is like fire--you know fire that warms and saves lives, but you surely know fire that devastates homes. Therefore,pride is an elemental,dramatic force that is BOTH constructive and ruinous.

Pride is such a great issue, that has become a favourite Biblical and mythological motif. And Tolkien, a creator of a mythology (and probably a religion?) himself, has inevitably engaged his thought in figuring out this knot. And as a master of psychological exploration, he has reached to the conclusion of the two types pride--positive and negative.

Pride can build. As long as it is a feeling of respect and appreciation of certain values such as past, honour, family, skill, friendship, vallour....You cannot blame those brave people who would rather break before they bend in the name of something worthier than their own sufferings and lives. Such heroes include Hurin who never gave in to Morgoth's tortures; Beren who never doubted sacrifising his life for love...and many more. Yes, pride builds, and it builds heroism and eternal admiration.

Pride can destruct. In a moment that same very pride that drove a person to utmost feats can turn around. In a moment pride makes this person blind. And those ideals which seemed worthy before diminish for pride becomes self-centred. And this is how Feanor, the greatest craftsman, knislays for three sparkling jewels! The pride of a creator can turn into a devastating hatred for anything but the creation. And remember how Numenorians fell too, blinded by their own might and skill!...

The fire of pride hides too much. It is an ambivalent feature. And dangerous...one should always beware of the fine-lines.
 
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Eol

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Pride: Helpful Or Ruinous?

A famous proverb has been said: "Pride is destructive, and goeth before a fall." This is very true in the character of Feanor from The Silmarillion. He takes pride to the next level. His rash actions and sworn oath to recover the Silmarils prove that pride is ruinous.
The first case of Feanor's destructive pride is his lust for possesion of the Silmarils. It says in Chapter 7 "Of The Silmarils"
For Feanor began to love the Silmarils with a greedy love, and grudged the sight of them to all save his father and his seven sons; he seldom remembered now that the light within them was not his own.
It was Melkor who began this spread of lies among the Noldor. He told lies to Feanor concerning Fingolfin, saying that
...Fingolfin and his sons were plotting to usurp the leadership of Finwe and of the elder line of Feanor.
And Melkor said also to Fingolfin and Finarfin that
Beware! Small love has the proud son of Miriel ever had for the children of Indis. Now he has become great, and he has his father in his hand. It will not be long before he drives you from Tuna!
This was how the pride of Feanor began, with lies from Melkor. However, he is only responsible for this first action, Feanor does all the rest on his own.
Feanor's pride soon turns to wrath and refusal of the Valar's requests. The Two Trees are destroyed by Melkor, and a great meeting is called. Yavanna asks for the Silmarils to restore the light of the Two Trees, but Feanor does not comply, saying
For the less even as for the greater there is some deed that he may accomplish but once only; and in that deed his heart shall rest. It may be that I can unlock my jewels, but never again shall I make their like; and if I must break them, I shall break my heart, and I shall be slain; first of all the Eldar in Aman...This thing I will not do of free will. But if the Valar will constrain me, then I shall know indeed that Melkor is of their kindred.
Not only does he insult the Valar, he denies their right to the Silmarils, the light of which was created by Yavanna in the first place. Morgoth plunders the Silmarils, and returns to Angband with them.
Next comes the most terrible thing ever said in Ea. Feanor persuaded the Noldor to leave Valinor and go to Beleriand, and he and his son said this oath.
They swore an oath which none shall break, and none should take, by the name even of Iluvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Manwe they named in witness, and Varda, and the hallowed mountain of Taniquetil, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the world Vala, Demon, Elf or Man as yet unborn,or any creature ,great or small, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should hold or take or keep a Silmaril from their possesion.
By this time Feanor has dug himself in too deep to get out. He and his sons leave Valinor forever, and commit the first Kinslaying as they leave.
Through these statements made by Feanor, one can easily see that pride destroys him. His gift with his hands only leads to his unmaking in the end. His rash actions and sworn oath prove that pride is ruinous.
 

Lhunithiliel

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Introduction: To understand and feel better what is to follow, remember the voices of the ring-wraiths from the FOTR movie.

HEAR

THE CONFESSION OF A RING-WRAITH

Hail, mortals!
Seldom we meet in these lands, indeed. But thou know who I am!
At dark nights thou have heard stories about me. And those stories make thee shiver with cold and dread even when thou whisper my name …

For I am a ring-wraith!

And I am terrible. I come on thee in the wild, in a dark place where there is no help, no hope, no rescue…

For I am a Nazgul - a mighty spirit and the Dark Lord is my Master !

A Queen I was of yore. And large kingdom of Men I ruled.
But fools were those who lived on my lands! They lived for the sunlight and sang silly songs about some “Gods” that lived far beyond the Great Sea in a Blessed Realm.

Gods! What Gods?! The only Lord this land has always had was the Great Dark Spirit, whose sleepless eye watches over all of thee and thou know …. Thou cannot hide !
For HE will always find thee… through ME!

HE called me one night. He came into my mind and spoke to me:
“See the world, Oh, Queen! It is vast and still wild, but beautiful! Thou think that thy kingdom is great. But it is only a tiny place under the skies. I rule these lands and I can give thee ten times more than what thou have now. For thou are great and mighty. Why throw to waste the powers in thee?! Come to ME! And I will make thee more powerful than thou ever have been or ever will be!

And immortal I will make thee too!
For why should the pale Elves be the only ones to enjoy the great gift?! Are thou less than any of their high-lords? Nay, my Queen! Thou are beautiful and proud and wise! I see thee… I see thy soul and I read thy mind and I know what it is that thou wish …
Power! This I can grant to thee!

Look! I have brought thee a precious gift – a ring. Look at it! Isn’t it beautiful?! But it is not just one of those jewels that thou keep in thy palace! Magic it holds! And power! I am giving it to thee.
Wear it and be my Queen! “

And then I saw it! It was lying on the table in my chambers – small, exquisite, shining…I could not understand then how it came to be there…but I took it and I placed it on my finger. It fit perfectly!

And then…. I felt its power! And my eyes opened as if anew and I saw the world…. far beyond the borders of my realm…
And a vision I had too - of swirling cloud, and in the midst of it - towers and battlements, tall as hills, founded upon a mighty mountain-throne above immeasurable pits…. And great courts I saw! Dark marble columns upheld the high vaults of a mighty palace…lit by thousands of torches … and their light glittered reflected onto immeasurable hoards! Jewels there I saw of such beauty and size that I had never before laid my eyes on!…

And there, on his high throne, sat the Dark Lord! At his feet lay a mighty wolf-creature, behind his dark throne towered fearful Balrogs, and down the path to the throne stood eight mighty knights – all clad in shining black-and-gold armours and I saw they were Men! Never I had seen men of such might and beauty as the guards of the Dark Lord!
And a huge black sword each of them lifted up to honour me! And then I saw the rings on their hands – just like the one I had on my finger!

“Hail, Dark Queen!” – they greeted me and I approached the throne and I knew ….
There was MY Master!

So, mortals, be aware! For I have come to thee tonight! And if I wish, I can take thy soul.
For no one can come between a Nazgul and his prey! But nay! I will not slay thee! I will bare thee away to the Houses of Lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured and thy shriviled mind be left naked to the lidless eye of my Master!

Obey me, and I might show mercy on thee!
Disobey me and you’ll know my power!

For I am the Queen of the Nazgul!
 

Melian

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I, MAEGLIN
/Or The Treason And The Void/

They say that once a spirit arrives at the palace of Mandos, he finds tranquillity and peace. It is a deceipt. Restless shadows and wretched creatures never find repose, even in the afterlife of promised stillness. These halls of eternal silence are a prison to me, Maeglin, a discorned souls among those wandering here.

My mind was always like burning coal, my heart one of molten steel, my desires--like a scalding flare that tortured ne acutely. I burnt out like a torch...in my own zest for life. I have been unhealthily scorched by this flame for so long and it never ceased. No, I cannot find peace here! I shall ever suffer in despair and remorse..yes, remorse!

For all, I am the despised trairor of Gondolin, the bitter disappointment of anyone who met me! Maeglin, the fair noble Maeglin, skilful and magnificent...Ha! How empty was it all...they did not suspect my fall had begun. And could it be prevented? And when it started?

Maybe when I set my eyes on her, Idril Celebrindal. In that instant I desired to be close to her, to have her, to OWN her...I struggled, but not too hard. I despised myself, but not too much. And she was scared of my thoughts and my passion. I hated myself, nay, i desired my own death..and still, her fright pleased me! The flames of my forbidden affection dominated...I had to bend her will with power!

And Tuor! What hilarious irony! She couldn't have hurt me more than choosing this mortal worm, this pawn that would have withered before long! And I had proved to Gondolin I was worthy and he was no better than me! Ever since my own father had restrained me from the world in my childhood, I had felt a desire to receive recognition of my quality. And lo! Tuor outdid me! I loathed him and his son and a poisonous thought obsessed me. Therafter I thought of nothing but of my wish that realm to fall. Oh, how I wished to smite Tuor!...and revenge Idril!And all was distorted then...

It was only inevitable that the Dark Lord sensed my frailty and called out for me...I do not even recall his tortures, for they were so weak in comparison to the trial of my own burning feelings. It was so easy to betray, it was so sweet to succumb! I did not realise that the most frightening only followed. Since the only person who could have stopped me then, my beloved mother,had died, I felt relieved and free and lonely...

I will never forget Idril's stare on the day of Gondolin's destruction. that stare was my true death. Tuor's sword killed me not---it was Idril's eyes. All I wanted was to hurt. And kill myself with this pain I gave her.

I still exist, though. and the shadows of Gondolin's victims I see are the worst imaginable punishment. The Hall of mandos are no bliss, it is eternal horror! And my only hope is the day that She will come. Oh,yes,she will...
 

Finduilas

Hope brings Death...
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The Power of Doom

Since the first breath...

Since the first look...

Since the first word and step...


Since life arises in our veins, doom and death fill our blood.Fate has a leading role before and from our life on.No matter what we do and believe in, Doom is the Mistress of Time which can be neither lied, nor avoided.

Dum...dam...dum...dam...

The Grey Lady does not miss...She does not forgive...She waits.
From the first lost toy* until the last "innocent" lie Her Power spies, concludes and waits. Her Power is Her Patience, Her Weapone is our Impatience.

Doom, however, has a double meaning-Fate and Death.
For they are both closely connected and often dependable.

The Power of Fate
Changes.Evolution.The World is an unexpactable challange and if it was predestined...then it would no longer be a world but a prison.Fate only makes you realize that the choice is yours and you rule your own life........
Fate is actually made up by us, the people just as we have made up all the laws we try to follow. It's power is in our beliefs, and it's Doom is in our hesitation. For if we wait to receive everything ready and believe that Love will come just like that without even thinking of It and that Life will go on just like that without even taking care of It, then we are Cursed. We are cursed for and by our foolishness and foolly conceptions for the World. Not even foolly but naive,desperately naive.
Fate is something in which we try to believe desperately although it is sometimes difficult.It is something we do ourselves and then blame or thank Life for that. For yes, coincidences happen and probably that is the essence of the meaning of Fate/Destiny, but should these coincidences keep the flame of our imagination and liveliness? Aren't they intended to only sparkle it more, not to put it down, make it calm?
Fate is eternal just as our beliefs,religions and souls where all our hopes sleep quitely.It can wait until the residents of the Earth die, until we and our hearts die. Then will our Fate be over, and then we will again say : "We can't blame ourselves. It's our Destiny." But, damn us, who else should we blame? The Marsians? Or the Uranians? Or maybe both? Because we may even find them one and blame them for what we have done, but would we find our Destiny and say in her face: "You are guilty for every piece of our history-our successes and failures, our conquers and losts, our loves and hatreds..."?
I doubt we will. And that's Her power-this eternal patianc with which She watches Men dying seeking their true destiny...not realizing that it is their Will and Right to make their own Destiny/Fate.

The Power of Death
Oh, Death is dangerous! It is dangerous because we let it be so.It is unavoidable but it is not unacceptable. Death waits until we make a mistake, then waits until we make a second mistake. She waits us to learn, but we continue to do mistakes.We continue to disappoint ourselves and even Death. For everything is beautiful and wishes to be so. Just as death may be one of the most beautiful things in the world-but we make it seem ugly. We live as snails in our comfortable houses and do not care of anything but our own lives. And Death punnishes us with the most embarassing punnishment-our own ignorance and greediness...for money and life! Life is a gift, or is it? The Power of Death may be the power of our salvation...

Dum...dam...dum...dam...

Noone will escape...but who will accept and learn from it...?
 

Finduilas

Hope brings Death...
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Dear Love,

Days turn into Nights and the Darkness- into watchful hours. My heart is dying even though it has already been lulled to sleep. I only have humble odium, hatred and hunger for revenge. But am I forgetting the Despair?

No, my dear Love, poisoning me so sweet-passionately, I’m writing to you with this hatred but it is actually the same pure old affection. You do remember, you and me, we, how we had become one and how we melt into painful embraces. And we flew over the flower glades, but you were the brightest flower- you were my five-leaved clover. With one of the leaves you gave me Life and with the second-Happiness. The third one leafed the Love so that the fourth one to show me Paradise. And the fifth leave-that was you, my beloved, more radiant than the Sun and colder than the Moon; deeper than the Sky and more enigmatic than the Space… You, my dear Love, was the water, the air, you were everything, but you perfected it perfectly…

But can this words be words of hatred? No, my Love; can some light have edged into the somber soul of the repentant recluse? Darling Star, the thought of you killed me, and look how it has revived me again… Is that fair, my darling, I do not know. But worthy days would be the Life which would give my undeserving eyes the chance to look at you, dazzling. You fire words and wake love, but would you take them back, my beloved, if I offer them, if I give you myself?

Can the Lady, inspired these feelings, be capable of perfidy? And is the Person, devoted to love and honour towards one Goddess, indecent, my dear?

I do write but wait for no answer. All I want is strength…

Yours forever,
Person

***
Legend:

Love, Lady, my beloved, my dear, dazzling - Love as a commonly accepted conception.
Person - every human being fallen under the unavoidable spells of Love.
 

Lhunithiliel

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Finduilas, my fair Lady, that was breath-taking! Beautiful!

LOVE!!!!!

All right, let me continue the theme and here I'll tell you a tale - strange it is ...yet about love.
Enjoy:
*******

A Sad "Business" Tale

Once upon a time Reason and Emotions sat at the table of negotiations to sign a Peace Treaty between them.

The subject of that Agreement: me – loving you…impossibleand unallowed.

And Reason stated all its best and strongest arguments. And Emotions seemed to have accepted them at that time.
But as it turned out later, they had not !
That day Emotions told Reason it had to wait a little until they take their final decision.
Reason sighed but consented.

Meanwhile, as time passed, Emotions secretly made a powerful coalition with Pride and the monstrous child that came out from this union they called Jealousy.

When Reason found out about the treason of Emotions, it summoned them immediately again for new negotiations.

There they came! And Reason faced the fearful trinity – Emotions, Pride and Jealousy – EVIL in its worst incarnation!

But Reason was not afraid! And it spoke again! And so powerful its arguments were that Pride and Jealousy vanished.
But Emotions stayed !!!
And although very strongly shattered, they still held their position and again they told Reason it had to be patient and wait a while longer.
What could Reason do?!?
They parted again.
But now Emotions, realizing their power, took control over everything!

Reason is still waiting for them to sign the Peace Treaty… but when will the day come when they will lay their signature …no one can tell!

And here I am - caught in between, because all this is happening in my poor mind……….and it is like hell !!!

I wish there were a third party to intervene and settle the argument once and forever.
Unfortunately, third parties are never allowed in such kind of negotiations!

No arbitrage in matters of love!

*******
 

Manveru

(former)blue angel of GoT
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An Archangel's Torment

Skies...

I'll find no rest here... no comfort in my distress...
No more...

For what is this wide sky?
An enormous extent of a pale blue hue streaching
As far as all eyes, even the keenest, can see.
Embellished with white gentle eiderdown
Coming hither and thither... unharrowed.
Through eternity.
Everlasting.

Sky...

What does it mean to me?
At one time, it was everything...
'Whole world' as (You) mortals speak of
Things that have great value...
To fly... to glide high...
To sail through this infinite azure
Meant more to me than anything precious in this small world.
Anything worthy...
But now... What does it mean to me?
Nothing.

People think that in the air you can be free.
Feel like governing everything down there... below.
No strings attached.
"Nothing can stop you up there", they say
When you're climbing higher and higher.
"All your sorrows are lost
Remain on a callous surface of the earth."
And maybe they're right... I used to think the same.

But now...
I don't think so anymore...
Here I feel like an exile... an outcast
Bunished to live in the skies.
In proximity of bright sun,
In the azure of boundless prison.
Among the high winds blowing...
With the birds only
sharing this lonely view...

I'll find no rest here... no comfort in my distress...
Never...
'Cause now my SUN shines beneath...
 

Melian

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Alienated. That's how Melian always felt in Middle-earth. You know her as tender,occasionally giving good advice lady... But what was beneath?...
------
I came here seeking for love, I was young and full of hopes...and there was a Thingol. Indeed, Thingol! I was so ready to give my all in this love, but too soon it came to me we spoke in different languages. A lessening marriage, some called it. Lessening it was not, and yet it was incompatible. He never fully understood what thrilled my heart, always demanding for me to change up to his expectations...And so I did! I built up a Girdle to create my own reality and to deceive myself I was happy. The truth is that all this time with him
I
Was
Not Myself.
Everyone knows the end of trhe story---how he left me ,how he passed to another world, how my grief ruined me...

What you don't know yet is that I am back! I'm back to life, back to Middle-earth, back to love, back to myself. i exist in a different form now...
I need to belive there's somebody out there, i need to believe that I'm not all alone.
I need to believe there's someone else in these skies I dream of. a guarding angel.
One day, we'll be freer than the birds.
To where the Zephyr would take us.
 

Gil-Galad

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NIRNAET ARNOEDIAD-THE FIFTH BATTLE FOR MIDDLE-EARTH

The Last Thoughts of King Fingon,High King of The Noldor in Middle-Earth

The day is coming.The day in which the fate of The Firstborn and The Fathers of Men is going to be destineth.

Right , there I see my brothers and my sisters.Left , there I see my friends and allies, the Men. For the might and glory of The Eldar and The Secondborn is gathereth ! I see the raise of the Sun and a new hope arises in my heart . I see a new hope for Elves and Men , to live peacefully in Middle-earth .And we shall fight and even die for it ,because there shan’t be any sunrise if the Dark Lord defeat us!!!

How did it come to that?! That I shall not know. Was it our fault that we left the Blesseth Realms? Did we do it only because of the precious silmarils? Nay!!! We wanteth our fate to be in our hands, we wanteth our lives to depend on our actions, because no one could determine our destiny ,neither a Vala ,nor even Iluvatar himself!

Today our fate is in our hands, we shall win or die .Today we shall prove the mighty Valar that the Eldar’s fate is not pre-determineth ,that it depends on our deeds and actions!!! And the Dark Lord will be defeateth, thus my cousins, Feanor’s sons will have their revenge, and we will have ours for all the suffer he has causeth. Thus the glory and might of the Noldor and the Good will be spreath all over Middle-earth. There will be no mercy for any evil creation, because the wrath of all elves and men is great , and they are all uniteth , under the blowing flags of the Feanor’s sons, under the ones of my brothers and sisters from Nargothrond and Hitlum, under the bright ones of my friends Hurin, Huor and Haldir,lords of Men .Today all of them are uniteth under my flag ,the flag of their High King.

Long we were divideth by the lies of the one whose true name I shall not say, because he is Morgoth Bauglir. Long there was distrust among the Noldor and the seeds of evil grew among us , because of the Dark Lord’s lies .But he will not gain the victory he desires so much ,for we all are uniteth ,and nobody,even He cannot oppose our glory and might.

....................................................................................................

What do my eyes see?Smoke and fire go up from Thangorodrim.I see the Dark Lord accepts our challenge,and great is his wrath.There won’t be mercy for any of us,for everyone who opposes him.We have no choice,all we have should be sacrifiseth today,everybody we love should be sacrifiseth too,for today the Fate of every single good creature depends on our swords and spears!Great is Morgoth’s might and I feel the shadow falling upon my heart,for I know ruthless will be his answer to our challenge.And where is my cousin Maedhros and his brothers?Where is the host of my uncle’s sons?For I cannot see its blowing flags and the light coming from his army’s armour.Am I alone with my people and my friends the Men?Am I alone against my father’s killer?Something might happeneth to my cousins,for great is Morgoth’s power and they might have faceth it before I could help them.If it is so,a time for bloody revenge comes.What can I do alone,against him?Nothing but to fight till my last breath.And we must make no step back,for the day is doometh!We may die but he will remember this day forever!This is the day in which the elven light in Middle-earht will be lost , but Morgoth will pay with its own blood for that,for no one will step back till his last breath.I hear the call of Mandos and his halls and I feel them closer than ever…..
He is calling for me… But I will not step back!Though alone,we will fight till we die and the shadow will fall upon our beloveth Middle-earth.Let Morgoth come.I am ready to face the death,I am ready to face my destiny!I will not step……..

….I hear something ! I can hear a sound coming far away from here!Is Morgoth attacking?!?!Nay,I can hear a song ,fairy and beauty,song sang by Eldar!!!But how is that possible?I think I can see the bright shields and sprears of Eldar?!……….Is it possible?!Is it possible the Valar to have hearth my words?For I think this is not true!O mighty Valar,blessed to be this moment for I hear the great trumpet of my beloveth brother Turgon!!!!Long time I did not know where he was,where his Hidden Kingdom was,and today when every hope was lost he is coming!Now I know,now I believe in the victory!!!Our victory!My brother heard my cry,and I shall not know whether he heard it thanks to the Valar or not!!!But it should be them!!!!O great day,a new sun will raise tomorrow!For we are not alone!!!Now the elven strenght and might will face Morgoth in the most fierce battle ever.And now I believe it- a victory will be gaineth over the Evil!!!!
The day is doometh.

O,Lords of The West,forgive me that once again I did not believe in you,but you showeth it once again that you have not forgotten us,by sending me my beloveth brother and his great army.Forgive me,O,Lords of The West!!!Forgive me,O,Vala,for the things I should have said,but I did not,for the things I should have done but I did not!And,today, give me the strenght in my right hand,the strenght to lead my people and to show them the way to our victory!!!
For I believe in it!
Utulie’n Aurè !Aiya Eldaliè ar Atanatari,utulié’n aule!

……….”And all those who heard his great voice echo in the hills answered crying: “Auta i lome!”The night is passsingi”


To Diyana

I would like to thank also my dear friend Cynthia,I wouldn't do it without her help.Thank you!

Findi that's for you too!I hope you'll be back some day!
 
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Manveru

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The Last Ride... (Or There...and not back again?)

Dor-nu-Fauglith. Silent plain. Some scattered units lingering here and there. Silence. And a lonely rider... moving at a great speed... "like a wind amid the dust".

"Noro lim, Rochallor, noro lim!"

War... battles... won... lost...
War... slaughter... unnecessary... justified...
War... Evil... Morgoth...

Lies. Everything began with lies. And a murder. And a theft. All that because of greed, jealousy, hate. All that because of... Morgoth! Unrest of our people, folly of my half-brother, but for the worst part... staining the Land of Aman with the blood of our kindred.
That was like a nightmare. When we arrived, the battle was "hot" already. Everywhere. All around Alqualonde, the beautiful Haven of the Swans. At that time... more likely to resemble a bloody battlefield. Dead bodies everywhere. Battle cries were mixing with groans of the dying. It wasn't a battle, it was a... slaughter. And where did that lead us to? What was gained thru this unnecessary bloodshed? A few ships that couldn't even bear all of us at once to the shores of Middle-earth. But Feanor knew that if not by sea, there was only one way left. And he feared that way. Feared the Grinding Ice... the crossing of the mighty Helcaraxe. That place left some deep wounds within my heart. Wounds that will never fully heal. It was there, when he left us... either to go back to Valinor in shame or... to die trying to cross this ice-welded hell. Curse you, Feanor! Curse your folly! Curse those lies, the reason of it all! Curse you... Morgoth!

"Noro lim, Rochallor, noro lim!"

Orcs. Those lousy minions of the Black One. Did He really think he could have taken us by surprise using those... silly and "quick to fear" creatures? No match for the Noldor. I remember them running and hiding from the very first fiery looks of the new Sun, in all pits possible, when me and my host were treading the paths of Endore for the first time. I remember them fleeing in agony, after their unsuccessful attempt to ravage Beleriand, to the very gates of Angband, where they were utterly destroyed... to the least and last. That was one GLORIOUS victory within sight of Angband's gates. But I knew that it wasn't the last time I looked on them...

"Noro lim, Rochallor, noro lim!"

Why didn't we strike earlier? Why we let Him grow in strength while we had a chance? A good chance for a successful assault. But no. They didn't want to hearken to my counsel. They prefered to linger, still living their 'peaceful' lives, for not everyone was fully aware of the danger. No. They were blinded by the joys of life, not seeing the real "threat". We were too few... too few... Only Angrod and Aegnor lived near enough to understand my anxiety. But not the Feanorians... even though they were bound with that foolish oath, they prefered to just sit and wait. Just wait! Fools! Curse them! Curse their fatuity! Curse you... Morgoth!

"Noro lim, Rochallor, noro lim!"

The new terror came at a winter's dawn... unexpectedly... all of a SUDDEN. That time the Enemy prepared Himself well enough... nearly too well. It was so great an onslaught that I could do nothing, but to withdraw to the fortresses of Ered Wethrin. Me... the High King of the Noldor... the proudest and most valiant... was driven back by those 'lousy' lank minions of Morgoth. But there were too many of them... the Black One, alas!, had worked for too long in His dungeons... unharassed.
And then came the news. They felt as if a thousand swords piercing my heart, telling of the fall of Dorthonion and bitter deaths of my nephews... of the Feanorians being driven from their lands. Was it the bitter end of the Noldor? Was it the end of the war? No. Not yet...

"Morgoth! Come! I challenge you, coward!"


And the Iron-crowned came...
 

Lhunithiliel

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The end of the Spirit of Fire

****************************
Upon the confines of Dor Daedeloth in the land of Morgoth.

The Sun was high in the skies yet its beams of life-giving light could not warm the ground. For fumes and blazing fires, burning ashes and black smoke arose in the air and the little of light that could still filter down glowed red.
The land was devastated by the battle. Dead bodies of creatures of all kinds lay scattered everywhere. Death had come to feast to those lands! For it had been a terrible battle!
Alas!
The proud Feanoreans fought bravely but then Morgoth issued from Angband Balrogs the fierce led by the mightiest of all – Gothmog. And the fair Eldar were doomed to a most terrible defeat!

Yet… the storm of the battle had already died away and silence reigned over the field. Heavy and piercing the noble hearts of the Noldor with grief and horror was that silence – the silence of Death!

In the midst of the chaos stood a small group of people. In fact all of them had knelt and bent over something or somebody that they had obviously encircled as if protecting it.

True! For their King they had gathered around – the mighty Feanor. Heavily wounded lay Feanor but spirit of fire he was and the divine fire of Aman still blazed in him. Yet he felt it weakened and he knew he would soon have to follow the summons of Mandos the great.

Feanor opened his eyes and what he saw were the faces of his most beloved sons.
“Father”, uttered Maedhros concealing the grief that almost choked his throat. “We’ll now bear you away to Mithrim. There you’ll be taken good care of. Just…Hold on!…” And he could say no more.

Feanor smiled but answered not.
Then his sons raised him up and bore him back towards Mithrim.

They walked as quickly as they could. The battle was hard for them too and severe wounds most of them had. But no pain they felt! The only thing that mattered now was to save their father.

Feanor felt the staggering pace of his sons and he could feel the strength of their arms and shoulders that bore the stretcher on which he now rested and which they had made for him in haste, yet trying to provide as much comfort as possible to ease his pains.

“Balrogs!”, though Feanor and the sight of the fiery spawn of the cursed Morgoth filled his mind with the fire they were born from. He could hear the horrible cracks of their fiery whips, he felt again the fiery pain his body suffered when those wrapped it in their fiery embrace…
“Fire!… Fire! …”
Fire burnt Feanor’s mind.
“Set them on fire!” he had commanded. And the white swan ships burned in Losgar.
“Amrod!…Amras!….My boys!…No, Maedhros! I will not spare those ships! Let them burn! What do I care for Fingolfin!…I have no time to lose! The Morgoth is there before us! Him, the cursed we shall now pursue to his end!…..Fire!”
…..
“…to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Vala, Demon, Elf or Man as yet unborn, or any creature, great or small, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should hold or take or keep a Silmaril from our possession…

... to pursue with vengeance and hatred….and …Fire!…

…to pursue with vengeance and hatred…. Morgoth! I curse you! Let you burn in the fires you had set on this fair world! I will avenge the death of my father! No matter what I do! No matter how I will suffer! No matter the curse of the Gods! …I will rise again and fight you, black coward! I will chase you away…far away into the darkness of the vast Void whence you once had come from and the Great will have no mercy on thee….And no mercy will you ever find! Not there…not here…. In fire you will burn!

Oh Eru! Forgive me! For low I have fallen! Fire burnt my heart and soul when I heard my father had been ruthlessly slain by the Cursed! Oh, Eru! Thou hast made us – your Children, to enjoy the loveliness of Arda, to laugh and sing in happiness and bliss… Why did you ever let Him come?! For he came with fire and hatred and hatred and malice he spread and we were weak and we fell under his spell… And darkness he brought that killed the divine light…

Light!….How wonderfully it played in my stones…My Silmarilli!…

…to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World … unto the end of days …. whoso should hold or take or keep a Silmaril from my possession…. Fire!…”

“Father!”, whispered the voice of Maedhros. “Relax! What fire is upon you? …Rest now. Don’t speak! We’ll soon be in our camp. The airs in the lands of Mithrim will heal you! Just rest! Hold on, my King!”

“…to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World….

The end…It is close! I hear you Mandos! I hear your call to my soul … I will obey! This time I will! Will I ever find peace, Oh, Mighty Vala?! Will my soul be imprisoned forever in the deepest darkness of your halls….I deserve the most bitter judgement for the bitter wrong I have done… On fire I set the white Aqualonde and red blood stained the white swan ships of the Shore-pipers, my kin! But I was blinded by the lies of the Morgoth!…. No! This is no excuse for the bloodshed I caused! Cursed I am! And heavy is now my soul with grief and guilt, for this curse I spread over all my kin, my people….my sons…. Cursed I am! But I will willingly surrender to thee, Lord! And I will stand before you and you will judge me for all the evil I did!….But have mercy, great Vala on my poor tortured soul! For I did what I did to fight a greater even evil – THE EVIL of Arda itself! No one stood against him openly and unpunished he was left to escape… Not from me! He will never hide from me and my vengeance! For I will pursue him even from your halls, Mandos! And he will always fear me! And he will never hold my Silmarilli in his hands! For they will burn him with the pure light of the Trees locked within them…the light of Good….

Light! …. Oh, fair Nerdanel!… Sweet Nerdanel! I loved you dearly and no Elf has ever been more proud of his wife than me! For a great and wise wife you have always been to me, precious Nerdanel! And seven mighty sons you gave to me! Seven true princes of the Noldor! Our sons have grown up now, Nerdanel. Mighty warriors they have become but also skilled loremasters and craftsmen… just like you…like me….You should be proud of them, Nerdanel! As I am! ….They saved me, Nerdanel. They risked their lives to free me from the fiery creatures of Morgoth…I am sorry, fair wife! For all the wrong, for all the tears, for the bitterness that clouded your bright eyes… Forgive me, my love! And don’t hate me! Not you! ….Fire!….With inner fire I was born, Nerdanel and it consumed me within. But you used to love me for that! Love me forever, my beauty! I know your kind heart! I believe you will forgive me! …And there, Nerdanel, in the dark halls of Waiting, while ages pass in the sun-lit world …your love will be my only hope…. Don’t take it away from me, my fairest Lady! For I will be doomed without the light of your love! And Light will be my salvation.... For Light have I desired....

Yet...to darkness now I fall.... Farewell”

Feanor was now almost all spent. He had sunk into a restless and painful delirium and his mind burnt with memories and his body burnt in the pain of the mortal wounds the balrogs did to him… He was passing into the world of shadows…. Yet all his mind could see was …

Fire!

And then…. as they drew near to Eithel Sirion and were upon the upward path to the pass over the mountains, Fëanor bade them halt; for he knew that his hour was come. And looking out from the slopes of Ered Wethrin with his last sight he beheld far off the peaks of Thangorodrim, mightiest of the towers of Middle-earth, and knew with the foreknowledge of death that no power of the Noldor would ever overthrow them; but he cursed the name of Morgoth thrice, and laid it upon his sons to hold to their oath, and to avenge their father.

Then he died. But he had neither burial nor tomb, for so fiery was his spirit that as it sped his body fell to ash, and was borne away like smoke.

And his likeness has never again appeared in Arda, neither has his spirit left the halls of Mandos. Thus ended the mightiest of the Noldor, of whose deeds came both their greatest renown and their most grievous woe.
***********

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life.
 

Finduilas

Hope brings Death...
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The Last thoughts of Beren Erchamion

Love kills, love destroys…

* * *

Oh, my dear and most pure Love! I yield myself to thee, I wilt rest forever for I know the depth of thy Love!

But be not serene, my Beloved Queen! Surrender not to happiness but grief for Grief wilt come and enslave you, for misery and war would thee live among! I wilt die, here in thy beautiful hands, and they wilt touch my soul for last! They wilt take my consciousness an thee wilt keep and grief it in sorrow. Thou wilt never be happy, my astonishing Goddess, for Life has no joy to offer to thee! War wilt bereave thou of father, of friends and of thy beloved! Upcoming days wilt be woeful and unpromising. Thy life is doomed, my Fair Lady, my most desired dream!

But thou wilt not be lonely in thy grief for I wilt feel the misery with thee! Thou have a chance to die and come to me, but I only have to wait and deal with despair! Life ends where Death starts, my little Angel, and I have no escape anymore but endure my destiny! My salvation is thy Death, my penalty is thy torture!

I hope, my Love, I hope every moment! I am now ended…I hope for thee!

Endure the grief, Saint Beloved, and come to me! Thee only have one mainstay – my love! All the rest is sorrow! Keep the memory of me in thy misery and remember my Love…

…for I love you

* * *
 

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