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Things LOTR Characters would never say

Lorien

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1.Me n'you baby, tonight my place, how about it?- GANDALF/frodo/bilbo
2.Lets get high man!- SAURON
3.I want to quit.- Aragorn/sauron/gandalf
4.Yeah right, kiss my ass!-Arwen/eowyn/theoden
5.My face, your ass boy!- anyfool to any ENT...

They're pretty bad but its the best i could do.

P.s. they're not all that rigid, you can flex the characters who wouldn't say it
 
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Wood Elf

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Things they would NOT say:

Elrond to Aragorn: Sure, you can have her(Arwen), whatever man.

Legolas: Oooo! Let's jump in the mud puddle!

Pip: Me hungry? No thanks, I'll pass!

Hehe, this is fun! :)
 

tookish-girl

Pippin's stranger sister
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Frodo -"Whoooa-whooooa, Oooh, thank goodness, I nearly fell over then, but regained my balance sucesssfully."

Gimli -"Aren't elves cool?"

Aragorn -"I think I'll go and shack up with Goldberry instead, she's alot less high-maintanence."

Merry -"Smoking is seriously bad for your health."

Sam -"Ah, Frodo, get lost, you wuss!"

Gandalf -"I didn't turn up to Bree, because I couldn't be bothered!"

Elrond -"Hey everybody! How are you today, I'm feeling just great!"

Pip -"I'm on a alcohol-free, calorie controlled diet for the rest of this quest."

Tom Bombadil -"............." (He loses his voice)

Bilbo -"Go know, I actually didn't do anything to that dragon at all."
 

Diabless

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Gandalf
Deserve it. I daresay he does tht stinking little wretch! Die!

Sauron
Saruman, I give you the lost kingdom of Arnor. All that land is yours to rule.

Aragorn
(whines) but I wanna marry Arwen! Why cant I?

Shadowfax
Ok, wizard. I did not know we were going to go on an adventure. Can I go back to Rohan now?

Frodo
Sam , this is so exciting. i can't wait to go to Mordor. There's Mt. Doom, and Shelob, oo we can go to Cirith ungol and minas Morgul! It will be just like the Shire!
 

Wood Elf

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Boromir to Frodo: "You can keep the ring, Frodo, but thanks for asking me."

Galadriel: (singing)"Ding dong, Gandalfs' dead, the wicked wizards' dead!"

Elrond: "Sure, you can go (on the quest) too Glory! Let's throw in 15 more elves! Heck, the more the merrier!"

Hehe..keep 'em comin'!
 

Beleg Strongbow

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Originally posted by Wood Elf
Boromir to Frodo: "You can keep the ring, Frodo, but thanks for asking me."

Galadriel: (singing)"Ding dong, Gandalfs' dead, the wicked wizards' dead!"



that is good!!!!!!!!1




Elrond: "Sure, you can go (on the quest) too Glory! Let's throw in 15 more elves! Heck, the more the merrier!"

Hehe..keep 'em comin'!


Gollum: Anything i can do for you frodo sir???
 

legoman

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Just have to say genius:
Gandalf 'oh just give him the bloody thing'
oh and tookish a close second so far:
Frodo -"Whoooa-whooooa, Oooh, thank goodness, I nearly fell over then, but regained my balance sucesssfully."
and
Sam -"Ah, Frodo, get lost, you wuss!"
I don't think I could better those if I tried.
 

Beorn

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Shagrat & Co.: Ahh, just let 'im...can't do much harm

Black Rider: Do you like scary movies?
 

Anduril

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Thorondor: I'd like to fly away, to fly awaaay...

Saruman: Hey, do you want to see this little marble of mine?

Elrond: If you ant to schedule a meeting, please, send me a memo...
 

Tao

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Frodo (to Sam): Here, you can have it. (the Ring)

Sam (to Frodo): Idiot!

Gollum (to Sam): Erm...I'll just come right out and say this...I LOVE YOU MAN!

Sam (back to Gollum): Let's never fight again.

These suck, I know...


Gandalf to Balrog: After you...
This is great man..classic
 

Lorien

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Sauron- "Thats my rrinngggg give it baaaackkkkkkkk, you'd better or i'll tell my mommmmmyyyy....."

Gandalf- "Hey, lets tell jokes!!"

Legolas- "I want to marry Gimli dad.We're going to have a double marriage too, Frodo's hitching up with Sammy"

Any Elf- "Damn that orc is HOT!"

Arwen- "Hey Boromir want to make out?"
Aragorn- "I thought you loved me......"
Arwen- "You're a wimp i had to come a save your skin and besides Boromir here is richer than you are. Oh, and i'll have my necklace back please. (in the movie)"
 

Lindir

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Boromir: 'Let the Ring be your weapon, if it has such power as you say. Take it and go forth to victory!'

Elrond: 'Yes, you are right Boromir, we can use the Ruling Ring. I will take the Ring to wield it.'
 

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